Classic Movie Review Black Christmas

Black Christmas (1974) 

Directed by Bob Clark 

Written by A. Roy Moore 

Starring Olivia Hussey, Keir Dullea, Andrea Martin, Lynne Griffin, Margot Kidder, John Saxon 

Release Date December 20th, 1974

Published December 4th, 1974 

A static shot of a home at night greets as our entry point to Black Christmas, Bob Clark's legendary holiday slasher movie. Clark holds the shot of the house throughout the credits, which include the title of the film in a lovely script known, according to find my font, as the Pamela Font created by Dieter Steffman, a German designer with a long history of creating unique fonts used by The Rolling Stones for their album covers, among many other iconic pop culture fonts. The font is not important but, it's a minor fascination for me and I love the idea that there are people in the world who are famous for creating fonts. 

Following the end of the credits we cut to the front door of the house. The Greek letters on the outside of the home and the fact that a young woman enters the front door, lead us to the correct assumption that this is a Sorority House, home to a number of young college aged women. After we've seen the woman enter and a camera pan to a nearby window communicates what appears to be a party underway, we cut back to the front door but things are different now. Instead of a steady camera pan or a static shot, we are now in a perspective shot. We are in the perspective of someone approaching the sorority. As Christmas music plays inside, the soundtrack is dominated by the heavy breathing of the person whose perspective we have assumed. 

The subtle shift in camera style is skillfully played by director Bob Clark and his cinematographer, Reginald H. Morris. Even someone who doesn't pay close attention to such things as the way the camera is used in a particular scene, will understand the shift from a standard series of shots establishing a place and a status quo, will recognize that the camera perspective has shifted from a passive to an active participant in the scene. The Christmas music falls away, replaced by a subtle, deep bass, slightly unnerving. The breath of this new character is underscored by a chilling wind sound effect, the cold underlining the chill you feel as this heavy breathing individually slowly makes their way to the door of the Sorority. 

Without a word spoken, Bob Clark has amped up the tension and placed you in the perspective of an unseen character who may or may not be a dangerous killer. If you know the movie you are watching is a horror film, the title Black Christmas, is pretty good lead in that direction, then you can infer that you, the audience, are the killer. Clark here is commenting on the horror movie in general. Placing the audience in the perspective of the killer is an indictment of an audience who comes to a horror movie to watch people die. In the span of less than 2 minutes, Clark has demonstrated a mastery of film form that will play out further as he introduces actual dialogue, characters, and incident into Black Christmas.

The scene then transitions as the unseen heavy breathing person steps forward and the camera returns to its previous status as an observer of events. The shadow of this unknown individual crowds the frame, seeming to move forward toward the windows of the Sorority House and as this person slowly approaches the house, the camera recedes until we jump inside the house and a Sorority member, we will come to know as Barb (Margot Kidder), descends the stairs. Inside the house, the front door is open, presumably having been opened by the unseen man but, he's still outside, the open door is a red herring of sorts, a distraction. We are thrust back into first person perspective soon after as the unseen character climbs a trellis to an open window in the attic. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media 

Movie Review Wonka

Wonka (2023) 

Directed by Paul King 

Written by Simon Farnaby, Paul King 

Starring Timothee Chalamet, Sally Hawkins, Olivia Coleman, Hugh Grant, Keegan Michael Key, Calah Lane 

Release Date December 15th, 2023 

Published December 5th, 2023 

Wonka is a spectacular good time. This musical from director Paul King charts the origin of everyone's favorite chocolatier, Willy Wonka, played by Timothee Chalamet, from his time before he opened his magical chocolate factory. Pressing aside the Johnny Depp take on the character, Chalamet's Willy Wonka feels more like a spiritual predecessor to Gene Wilder's iconic take on the character. He's charming, he's funny, and he has just a slight hint of impish, prankish, bitterness to him. It's a wonderful performance from Chalamet who carries the film with the presence of a movie star. 

Willy Wonka's early life was tragic. He lost his beloved mother, portrayed by Sally Hawkins, when he was quite young. But, her adventurous spirit lives on in her son who undauntedly threw himself into the world to seek his fortune and make his mother proud. Willy, also a magician by trade, has traveled the globe on just his wits and guts, and discovered flavors of chocolate that no one has ever dreamed of. He's managed to pack it all away in a magical suitcase with which he can whip up a unique chocolatey concoction on a whim. 

Having arrived now in London for the first time, he's hoping to achieve the dream his mother always had, opening a Chocolate shop in the most famous chocolate market in the world. But first, Willy needs a place to stay. In a lovely opening song, Willy explains how much money he has before quickly parting with all of it as he helps out those in need. It's a lovely, graceful song that shows a generosity of spirit in Willy as he gives his last coin to young woman with a baby so that they can find a place to stay on this cold English night. 

As for Willy, he's planning to bed down on a chilly bench when he's approached by a man named Bleacher (Tom Davis). Bleacher is a big intimidating and threatening man who appears to reveal a softer side when he tells Willy about a place to stay... on credit. Mrs. Scrubbit (Olivia Coleman) operates a boarding house where she will allow Willy to stay on the promise that he will pay for his room the following day. This comes with a caveat however as Willy has to sign a contract for his room. The contract is page after page after page of fine print. A naive Willy decides to sign it anyway and that sets a portion of our plot in motion. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media

Movie Review All of Us Strangers

All of Us Strangers (2023) 

Directed by Andrew Haigh

Written by Andrew Haigh 

Starring Andrew Scott, Paul Mescal, Jamie Bell, Claire Foy 

Release Date August 31st, 2023 

Published December 4th, 2023 

Imagine returning to your childhood home as an adult and finding members of your family who have long since died, living there. They see the adult you that they never knew but they still recognize you and welcome you inside. You share laughter and memories and tears and promises are made about more visits. That's where the movie, All of Us Strangers from writer-director Andrew Haigh, begins. Adam, played by Andrew Scott, lost his parents when he was quite young. The harm from this traumatic loss has lingered through his entire life. When he returns to his childhood home and is greeted by his parents as he remembered them from youth, the confusion, heartache, and catharsis are bubbling over. 

If that's where the story of All of Us Strangers begins, you can't begin to imagine how it ends but I won't spoil that here. Adam is a deeply sheltered and broken man. As an adult he lives in an eerily empty apartment building in London. The lonely hallways are underlined by a scene where a fire alarm goes off and Adam retreats from the building surrounded by no one else. As he glances up to the building, there are so few people around that he is able to lock eyes with a neighbor who blew off the alarm and remained in the building. Adam knows he and his neighbor are communicating because no one else is around. 

That neighbor is Harry (Paul Mescal) who took their unique meet-cute, Adam glancing up at the building, Harry smiling and waving to him, as an invitation to meet Adam at Adam's apartment. After Adam has returned to the building, Harry is at his apartment door. He has a special bottle of whiskey and offers to share it with his lonely neighbor. The implications here are not subtle, Harry is openly flirtatious and Adam reluctantly so. Despite Harry's charm, Adam sends him away. That's not the last we will see of Henry however, as eventually, Adam's interaction with his late parents, played by Jamie Bell and Claire Foy, to take a chance on his own potential happiness. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review The Hunger Games The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes

The Hunger Games The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes (2023) 

Directed by Francis Lawrence 

Written by Michael Lesslie, Michael Arndt 

Starring Tom Blyth, Rachel Zegler, Peter Dinklage, Viola  Davis, Jason Schwartzman

Release Date November 17th, 2023 

Published November 17th, 2023 

Is there a need for another Hunger Games movie? The original foursome of Hunger Games films felt vibrant and alive, a commentary on the cultural moment as the 1% became villains, and the populace approached a consensus about too much wealth. That moment died a death and we've receded back to a place where the rich get richer and the poor suffer to support the ungodly wealth at the top. Into this fray comes a new Hunger Games movie that still feels reflective of the moment in which it is being released but not in the exciting and invigorating way that the original Hunger Games did. 

This new Hunger Games movie seems to support the 1% and have contempt for the poor. The film asks us to sympathize with the personification of the 1% in the original Hunger Games movies, Coriolanis Snow (Tom Blyth). As played by Donald Sutherland originally, Snow is pure malevolence, a scheming villain of the classic, mustache twirling variety. There is no gray area between the good of Katniss Everdeen and the evil of President Snow. The prequel on the other hand, while charting Snow's heel turn, seems to admire Snow as a man of conviction forced into a place of malevolent pragmatism. 

In this telling, Snow isn't evil, he was simply a good person who was betrayed. He's a good guy who happens to have adapted to the cutthroat world around him. He's a poor kid just trying to protect his formerly prominent family from poverty. He's a successful student whose successfully hiding his family secret, gasp, they are no longer rich. Can you believe it? The scandal. It's okay, the Snow family won't be poor for much longer. Corio, as his friends call him, is on the brink of winning a major prize that guarantees financial security and a full ride college education. 

The prize is all but in his grasp until a deceptive Professor, an enemy of Snow's father, schemes to keep Corio from his prize. The prize is centered around the annual Hunger Games. The students in Snow's hoity toity capitol school are being assigned as mentors to the poor district living souls who must fight to the death in The Hunger Games for the entertainment of the capitol. In its 10 year, residents of the capitol are no longer excited for The Hunger Games. The games need something to get people interested again and the mentors are being encouraged to help turn their fighters into spectacles, celebrities that the TV watching elite can root for or against. 

When Snow is assigned a girl from District 12 named Lucy Gray Baird, he's concerned that she will be killed quickly and cost him a chance at the prize. However, Lucy has spirit, she's attractive, and she sings, all of which could make her marketable, if she can survive longer than a few hours in the arena. At the behest of his beloved sister, Tigris Snow (Hunter Schafer), Corio decides to get close to his charge, meeting her train as she arrives and doing his best to endear himself to her so that he can give her tips to survive longer in the arena. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Classic Movie Review The Remains of the Day

The Remains of the Day (1993) 

Directed by James Ivory 

Written by Ruth Prawer Jhabvala, Harold Pinter 

Starring Anthony Hopkins, Emma Thompson, Christopher Reeve 

Release Date November 5th 1993 

Published November 16th, 2023 

When I was growing up my perception of Merchant Ivory films was that they were homework. The names were synonymous with glowing critical reviews and awards shows. Merchant Ivory made prestige pictures and I was not a fan of prestige pictures. You could not have convinced me to watch a Merchant Ivory movie when I was a teenager. I would sooner give up soda and baseball cards than watch a movie like The Remains of the Day, a British post-war drama of quiet and methodical precision and melodrama. I would sooner stop playing Nintendo than watch a Merchant Ivory movie. I was as immature as any other teenager. 

But now I am an adult. I have more refined tastes. I watch foreign films and I write lengthy articles about the duality of the movie All About Eve or the hypnotic beauty and pacing of a Sophia Coppola movie. Surely, in middle age I will have reached a place where I find a Merchant Ivory movie appealing. Surely, an Oscar nominated film like The Remains of the Day will find new meaning for me as a grown man. But, Sadly, no. I find The Remains of the Day as tedious and boring as I likely would have as a teenager. I'm sorry, I just don't get what anyone sees in this movie. I've been told by older critics and friends of my mother, essentially boomers, that this is the height of sophisticated drama and I just don't buy it. 

The Remains of the Day stars Anthony Hopkins as Stevens, the head of the staff at stately Darlington Manor. He's a butler, just like his father before him and he takes pride in his position. Keeping an orderly house and a mannerly staff is a point of great pride for Stevens. And he values employees who feel a similar sense of pride. When he hires a new head maid, Miss Sarah 'Sally' Kenton (Emma Thompson), he finds a kindred spirit. She also values an orderly house and a well managed staff and together they serve the master of the house, The Earl of Darlington (James Fox). 

In flashback we are taken to prior to the start of World War 2. Darlington is the center of political intrigue. Big English politicians come to Darlington to quietly debate over what to do about the growing threat of Germany. We will come to find out that Lord Darlington is on the side of appeasement, a side that will not fare well when the war comes to England and will be nearly wiped out once the war ends. The other half of The Remains of the Day is set in post-war where Stephens is now working for a former American Congressman (Christopher Reeve) and he's seeking to rehire Sally who'd left years earlier over Lord Darlington's stance on appeasing the Germans. 

She was greatly upset when Lord Darlington welcomes German officials to the manor and prior to their arrival, he has Stephens fire a pair of young Jewish maids so as not to upset his visitors. The firing is a large part of what causes Sally to accept a proposal from a suitor, a middle-class businessman who offers her the chance to join him in opening an Inn. The other part of her reasoning is being upset with Stevens for willingly allowed the young and desperately poor maids to be fired. The rupture in their relationship becomes the subject of the final act of The Remains of the Day. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

How I Became a Film Critic

When I was a kid I fell in love with watching Siskel & Ebert, the absolute gold standard of televised film criticism. As I am sure it inspired hundreds of others to want share their love of movies with the world, I wanted to be Roger or Gene. I wanted the job of going to the movies. I had no idea that someone could get paid to go to the movies. That was insane to me and I wondered why everyone didn't seek that same job. In later years, I would learn that relatively few people actually pursued film criticism as a career. 

The job of film critic developed in the early 20th century, not long after the invention of movies themselves. After several years of newspapers dismissing movies as a flash in the pan phenomenon, the movies became an established part of American culture and newspapers were forced to acknowledge that phenomenon. The earliest known film critics were beat writers, often theater writers or feature writers. They may have been fascinated with the moving pictures, but they were essentially reporters who were given the movies as a beat. 

This notion of movies being a beat rather than a calling persisted for years. Rarely, if ever, did someone start out there career as a film critic. Perhaps the best, and most rare, example of film critics setting out to be critics, took place in Paris, France, where the famed Cahiers Du Cinema became one of the biggest and most influential film guides in the world. Cahier was founded by a group of people who wanted to one day be film directors. But, they began their careers as professional appreciators, people who fell in love with movies and developed an all-consuming desire to share their enthusiasm for movies. 

Jean Luc Godard, Francois Truffaut, Claude Chabrol, started out at Cahiers Du Cinema before leaving to lead the French New Wave as some of the most talented and beloved filmmakers of all time. At Cahier in the 50s they worked alongside film critics André Bazin, Jacques Doniol-Valcroze, and Joseph-Marie Lo Duca, pioneers in writing seriously and critically about film. They turned their passion for film into their own magazine, though Bazin had been famous in France prior to Cahier, having chosen film as his career years earlier after launching his career as a literary critic. 

Find my full length article at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review May December

May December (2023) 

Directed by Todd Haynes

Written by Samy Burch 

Starring Natalie Portman, Julianne Moore, Charles Melton, D.W Moffett, Piper Curda 

Release Date November 17th, 2023 

Published November 15th, 2023 

A few days ago I watched David Fincher's new movie The Killer and I was left wondering if that film was intended to be a comedy. Not a traditional comedy mind you, rather a David Fincher comedy. A David Fincher comedy finds humor in a way that is far from typical comedy. It's a humor that either you get it or you don't and the filmmaker doesn't particularly care whether you understand the joke or not. It's a puzzling movie, to say the least. Now, I find myself watching another movie by another famously particular auteur and having the same question: Is this comedy? 

Todd Haynes' new movie, May December, starring Julianne Moore and Natalie Portman tells a story that would not, on the surface, seem appealing to Haynes' particular type of movie. The film tells the story of an actress, played by Portman, who travels to Savannah, Georgia to meet the real life woman that she is set to play in a new movie. That woman is played by Julianne Moore and some 30 odd years earlier, she went to prison after she had an affair and a baby with a 13 year old boy, played as a grown up by Harry Melton. 

If this scenario sounds familiar, you probably grew up in the 1990s and you recall the story of Mary Kay Letourneau, a teacher who was caught having sex with a 13 year old student named Vili Fualau. She was arrested and convicted of statutory rape. She became pregnant before heading to prison and went on to marry her much younger baby daddy when she was in her mid-30s and he was only 18 years old. The couple stayed together for over 20 some years before ending their marriage just before Letourneau passed away in 2020. 

That kind of trashy, tabloid story would not appear to suit the man who made such elegant movies as Carol and Far From Heaven. That said, both of those movies are about tearing away the blinders that many choose to wear regarding the America of the 1950s and 60s to reveal the trashy, ugly, and awful core that many Baby Boomers, and their parents, would like to forget. In this case, Haynes applies his talents to a story from the 1990s and he's pulling back the veil on a story we'd all put behind us and tried to ignore. We'd all made up our minds about Letourneau and her teenage victim, she was the older person in the relationship and bore responsibility for it. 

Haynes doesn't try to change or complicate our memory but he does appear to add some texture and nuance to it. While we laughed at late night jokes at the expense of Letourneau in the 1990s there was a real person there and she did go on to marry her victim. What was that about? Is this a love story? Or is it something more sinister, a case of grooming that was so pervasive in the public that we collectively tried to ignore the fact that it didn't actually end when Letourneau went to prison. The story continued, she married her victim, they had more children and we all turned away to search for the next big scandal. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Classic Movie Review Defending Your Life

Defending Your Life (1991) 

Directed by Albert Brooks 

Written by Albert Brooks 

Starring Albert Brooks, Meryl Streep, Rip Torn, Lee Grant

Release Date March 22nd, 1991

Published November 14th, 2023 

If I could choose what the afterlife looks like, I'd want it to look like the afterlife as presented by Albert Brooks' Defending Your Life. As both an idyllic and, ultimately positive take on life and death, Defending Your Life has a strong philosophical underpinning. The idea is that you go to Judgment City, you defend the life you live, try to prove that you overcame the fears that held you back in your previous life, and if you did, you get to move on to a nebulous afterlife that we can only assume is some kind of unending paradise. 

For all of the meta-gags, the performative pomposity and cluelessness, that marks the Albert Brooks character, Brooks' sincere world building in Defending Your Life is inspired. Brooks plays Daniel Miller, an ad executive who buys a new car and immediately gets himself killed in an accident. Arriving in Judgment City, Daniel thinks he's in heaven. The reality however, is different. No, he's not in hell. Hell doesn't exist in this universe. Judgment City is where one goes to defend the life they lived in hopes of moving on to the next place. 

If you fail, no big deal. If you fail, you just go back to Earth and live another life. You can do this as often as it takes to finally get it right. At a certain point, yes, you may be flung into to the universe with nowhere to go, but that's just for people who've failed a lot and show no interest in moving forward. Nothing to actually worry about. That's what Rip Torn's character, Daniel's advocate in Judgment City, Bob Diamond says with confidence that he's letting you in on a comforting secret that isn't as comforting as he thinks it is. 

Torn is Academy Award level brilliant in the role of Bob Diamond. Bob Diamond will present Daniel's life to a pair of judges who will determine whether or not he overcame his fears enough to be worthy of moving on. Standing opposite Bob and Daniel is Lena Foster (Lee Grant), a shark-like prosecutor who aims to use Daniel's life choices against him to keep him from moving on. In this universe, anything you have ever done has been recorded and is accessible as a video file. To give a sense of fairness, only a specific number of days from your life will be chosen to be looked at. The more days being used in your trial, don't call it a trial, but it's a trial, the harder it can be to move on. 

There is a running gag in Defending Your Life where small talk inevitably leads to people asking Daniel 'how many days' and when he says '9,' the residents of Judgment City each cringe and wish him luck. One kind restaurant owner, upon hearing Daniel say 9 days immediately gifts him dozens of pies. This sounds insane but one of the perks of Judgment City is that its adjacency to Heaven means the food is incredible and you can eat as much of it as you want. That's the kind of perk of the afterlife we can all get behind. 

Daniel's afterlife is changed forever when he meets Julia, one of the few people who died relatively young like himself. They bond as Daniel heckles a terrible comedian at a nightclub. Apparently comedy doesn't get the rub from Heaven as the food does. Julia immediately finds Daniel charming with the easy way he can make her laugh. In Streep's gentle, sweet, and assured comic performance, we can easily see why she would fall for Albert Brooks. She can see his emotional wounds and appears eager to help him heal, both because of her kindness and because she just likes the guy. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Documentary Review Werner Herzog: Radical Dreamer

Werner Herzog: Radical Dreamer 

Directed by Thomas von Steinaecker

Written by Documentary 

Starring Werner Herzog 

Release Date December 5th, 2023 

Published November 9th, 2023 

Like many cinephiles, I have a particular fascination with the legendary director Werner Herzog. I find Herzog's work to be incredible, dangerous, unique, and often quite alien when compared to the kinds of movies I spend most of my life writing about. Herzog's work has a hypnotic quality to it, especially his documentary work where he lingers on beautiful images and in that mellifluous, German accented voiceover he explains the beauty or the horror, or the fascinating sight before us and draws us in with his philosophical and unique observations. 

The new documentary, Werner Herzog: Radical Dreamer, aims to do for Herzog what he has done for his own subjects, reveal their fascinating qualities and revel in the beauty of such observation. Radical Dreamer opens on Herzog driving the streets of Los Angeles. He's taking director Thomas Von Steinaeker, and by extension, us, to one of his favorite places in Los Angeles. But first, Herzog muses about how doesn't actually dream. He hasn't had an actual dream in years. Rather, he has waking dreams while driving for 20 hours or so on a random road trip. In these dreams he has various visions that appear like dreams. 

Only Werner Herzog could make falling asleep behind the wheel of a moving car sound like a lovely and poetic experience. Of course, having spent a portion of his career working with Klaus Kinski, a vehicle crash is probably not something that would phase you. Radical Dreamer will take us through Herzog's legendary career, stopping on several of his most famous productions, with Kinski showing up to be Kinski, unhinged, bugged eyes, screaming and threatening Herzog and his crew with various forms of physical threats. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Albert Brooks Defending My Life

Albert Brooks: Defending My Life (2023) 

Directed by Rob Reiner 

Written by Documentary

Starring Albert Brooks, Rob Reiner 

Release Date November 11th, 2023 

Published October 4th, 2023 

It's rare, if not impossible, to find a consensus funniest person in comedy. That said, the closest one might come to a consensus all time funniest is Albert Brooks. Few in the world of comedy are as widely beloved and respected as the stand up comic turned SNL break out star to filmmaker. Brooks unites a coalition of comedy greats in the opinion that he is wildly funny, influential, and respected. That's clear from the new documentary on Brooks' career called Albert Brooks: Defending My Life. The documentary, directed by Brooks' lifelong friend Rob Reiner is mostly a conversation between the two filmmakers that is occasionally broken up by an all star cast of comedians praising Brooks. 

Oh, and that conversation is occasionally interrupted by some of the most incredible archive footage possible. Reiner, with access to Brooks' vast catalogue of comedy dating back to the late 60s and early 70s, unearths some absolute gems. Brooks was a hardworking comic and made appearances on any variety show that would have him. He soon became a beloved talk show guest, performing stand up routines unlike any comic on the planet, true comedic art projects that Brooks pulled off the top of his brilliant comic imagination. Though known today as a remarkable writer, Brooks' approach to the medium of stand up was freeform and completely unpredictable. 

Even before he became a celebrity, Brooks was beloved and ballyhooed in comedy circles. While attending High School alongside Rob Reiner, Rob's dad, Carl, saw Brooks perform at a school talent show. Brooks recounts the bit he did, one fitting of his off the cuff comedy style, and how it left Carl Reiner, then one of the most beloved minds in comedy, rolling in the aisles. So impressed was Carl Reiner that when he appeared on the Steve Allen Show, shortly after seeing Brooks perform, and before the rest of the world had heard of Brooks, Reiner called Albert the funniest guy he's ever seen. 

That's remarkable praise coming from a man who counts Dick Van Dyke and Mel Brooks as his closest friends. That's also a testament to the power of Albert Brooks, a witty guy who is not above turning himself into a spectacle for a laugh. The opening of the documentary features a routine in which a sullen Brooks lamenting his place in the world of cerebral comedy. He swears that he can be wacky and while holding onto his somber tone, he proceeds to drop his pants and hit himself in the face with a pie, all while demonstrating contempt for physical comedy, it's meta before meta was a thing. Indeed, Brooks is likely THE progenitor of meta comedy. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media

Why I Walked Out

A question that I get regularly in my line of work as a professional film critic is "Have you ever walked out of a movie?" The answer is simply, yes, I have walked out of a movie. I have, in fact, walked out of two movies. I also went on to publish remarkably negative reviews despite not having finished watching these two movies. I felt strongly that I had seen far more than enough of each of these movies to make a value judgment about them and I don't feel any sort of ethical qualms about it. These were execrable films that were unlikely to improve markedly following my leaving. 

I left both films due to being severely grossed out. I will explain but please understand that while I will use as much tactful language as I can, I may have to describe some things that will be uncomfortable to say the least and disgusting at worst. Take that as a warning, the following passages on these two movies contain language of a gross and descriptive nature: Reader discretion is advised. Do me a favor, if you decide to continue reading, drop your own movie walk out stories in the comments, I am curious how many of my loyal readers have similar walkout experiences to mine. Thanks! 

Formula 51 (The 51st State) 

My first walkout came very early in my career. In 2001 I was assigned to watch and write about a troubled production called Formula 51. The film had been through the ringer during its troubled production having been initially titled The 51st State. The film underwent severe reshoots and was finally dumped unceremoniously in theaters with little promotion. The film stars Samuel L. Jackson as a drug dealer who has created a killer new drug. The drug is super addictive and everyone wants to get their hands on it. Jackson's Elmo has to outwit numerous killers trying to get his drugs and the recipe to produce it. 

I'm recalling the plot from memory so that could be a little off but that is the gist of it. Regardless, at about the halfway point of Formula 51 Jackson manages to avoid a group hitmen by giving them a severe diuretic. How he got them to take the drug, I have no idea. But as Elmo watches on from another room through a two-way mirror, the killers start to.... feel the effects of the super-laxative. You can imagine, the scene starts with bubbling and gurgling noises before descending into the baddies having massive diarrhea in the room and we have to see it. I can't recall how much of the fecal results we had to endure because after the first baddie began filling his pants, I walked out. 

Find my full length article at Geeks.Media 

Classic Movie Review Fatal Instinct

Fatal Instinct (1993) 

Directed by Carl Reiner 

Written by David O'Malley 

Starring Armand Assante, Sherilyn Fenn, Kate Nelligan, Christopher McDonald, Sean Young 

Release Date October 29th, 1993 

Published October 31st, 2023 

Why is there no legacy for the movie Fatal Instinct? This brilliant parody of Basic Instinct, Fatal Attraction, and several other sex thrillers is absolutely hysterical from beginning to end. Legendary comic icon Carl Reiner is spot on in his timing, his direction is superb, and the jokes are nearly non-stop from start to finish. I can't understand it, why have most people have forgotten about Fatal Instinct? While Robin Hood Prince of Thieves and Hot Shots Part Deux are deservedly remembered for their 1993 releases, Fatal Instinct languishes in obscurity, and it makes no sense. All three of these movies, and Loaded Weapon, should all be fondly recalled as some of the best spoof comedies of all time. 

Armand Assante stars in Fatal Instinct and while he's not a natural comic actor, he's remarkably game for the nonsense being thrown at him in Fatal Instinct. Assante is Detective Ned Ravine, a good cop by night and a defense attorney by day. Thus, when we see Ravine bust a criminal during a stakeout at an amusement park, we also see Ravine become the man's defense attorney the following day in a series of very funny visual gags that I won't try to detail here. The visual jokes keep coming throughout the movie and you may have to watch Fatal Instinct a couple times in order to catch all the hilarious gags in Fatal Instinct. 

My favorite early gag is one I will try to lay out as it gives you a good sense of the sensibilities of Fatal Instinct. In the opening credits, if you're a huge music fan, you may make note of a credit for Clarence 'Big Man' Clemons. Indeed, Clarence is in the movie and he's used in a terrific running gag in which Sean Young, playing a noir femme fatale named Lola Cain is followed everywhere she goes by her very own sultry sax solo played by Clarence Clemons. It's a very simple but very effective joke that pays off later in another famous musician cameo that gets a big laugh. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Documentary In the Court of King Crimson

In the Court of King Crimson: King Crimson at 50 (2023) 

Directed by Toby Amies 

Written by Documentary

Starring Robert Fripp, King Crimson 

Release Date November 3rd, 2023 

Published November 3rd, 2023 

Robert Fripp is a bit of a control freak. The leader turned ruler of the band King Crimson has ruled the band with an iron fist for more than 50 years. The new documentary, In the Court of King Crimson: King Crimson at 50, details Fripp's control freak nature, the bridges that Robert has burned with past members and the comfort Robert has developed with a group of musicians who've grown comfortable doing what Robert asks of them. I sound like I am being critical but I am truly not intending that. If the members of King Crimson are happy taking orders from Robert, and the result is the exotic and extraordinary music of King Crimson, who am I to complain about it. 

King Crimson formed in 1969 and were fractured within their first year of existence. Two of the original members, having tired of Robert's iron grip on the band, decided that life was too short to be under the rule of Robert and left. Robert chose their replacements and moved on. Every so often over the next next 50 years, Robert would choose new band members and when he tired of them, no matter how long they'd been with the band, he'd fire them and replace them. A telling story has one band member who became part of an iconic lineup for the band was unceremoniously let go after over a decade with the band. He was the lead singer at the time. 

King Crimson is like a constantly evolving musical experiment with Robert Fripp as the mad scientist. Having helped to define the notion of a prog-rock band, King Crimson toured and recorded for 50 years while developing a loyal and dedicated fanbase who don't seem to mind that Robert Fripp openly berates them during shows for occasionally distracting him. The band is famously private about their live shows and have gone to great lengths to punish anyone attempting to record their show or even grab a still photo of the band during a show. It sounds almost impossible in the day and age of the smartphone but its true, King Crimson concerts are a phone free environment. 

Fripp is prickly and fastidious but also fascinating. He claims to practice playing the guitar for 6 hours a day. Seated in his living room, Robert will noodle away on the guitar, following his muse wherever it takes him for hours on end. So yeah, he takes King Crimson very seriously and he has for the past 5 decades. This makes the music of King Crimson that much more fascinating as the band appears to spend a good deal of their live performances jamming and riffing off of whatever Robert decides to play. It's an improvisation highly reminiscent of Jazz fusion but with a classic rock edge. And it sounds incredible. 

I've not spent much time listening to King Crimson in my life, they don't have many singles and, because of their prog-rock style, they were rarely on the radio. Hit singles are hard to come by when your songs run on for endless runs, solos, and random sounds that Robert Fripp has collected and catalogued over 50 years, slipping these sounds seamlessly into King Crimson live performances via a large tower he keeps on stage next to him. The tower gets more time and care than any piece of equipment on stage because if it fails, there is no back up. If it goes, all of the sounds go with it. 

Find my full length review at Beat.Media

Movie Review Dicks The Musical

Dicks The Musical (2023) 

Directed by Larry Charles 

Written by Aaron Jackson, Josh Sharp 

Starring Aaron Jackson, Josh Sharp, Nathan Lane, Megan Mullally, Megan Thee Stallion 

Release Date October 27th, 2023 

Published October 31st, 2023

Dicks The Musical is not quite as filthy as that title might imply. Don't get me wrong, the movie is uproariously filthy, but it's not filled with much full frontal male nudity. That remains one of the very few taboos that Dicks the Musical doesn't confront, at least not head on. Of all of the things that Dicks the Musical gets away with under the banner of an R-Rating, the sillier that Larry Charles and writer-actors Aaron Jackson and Josh Sharp, make the MPAA look like a completely joke. Yeah, you can show two men in an aggressive, upside down nude embrace as long as you only show their butts. It's that kind of charged silliness that drives Dicks the Musical in humiliating the Hollywood ratings board. 

Dicks the Musical centers its story on a pair of gay men, Aaron Jackson and Josh Sharp, who are playing a pair of non-gay characters, alpha male types who have a different woman every night and a six figure salary plus commissions as the top salesmen of their company. Named Craig and Trevor respectively, these two manly beasts are about to come face to face for the first time as their company, Vroomba, is combining their sales staff from two sides of the same big city. This will prove to be important as Craig and Trevor are twins, separated at birth. No, they look nothing alike, but for the purposes of this story we are asked to go along with the gag.

Discovering their brotherly bond, not because they look like, but rather because they carry to different sides of a necklace, Craig and Trevor excitedly start dreaming of reuniting their parents. To do this, they will engage in their own version of The Parent Trap with each going undercover in the home of the parent who abandoned them. For Craig, this means meeting his mother, Evelyn (Megan Mullally) for the first time. As for Trevor, he is going to meet his father, Harris (Nathan Lane) for the first time. Using the skills that made them top salesman, they believe that they can convince their parents to get back together, Parent Trap style. 

Find my full length review at Filthy.Media

Classic Movie Review The Nightmare Before Christmas

The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) 

Directed by Henry Selick 

Written by Caroline Thompson

Starring Chris Sarandon, Catherine O'Hara, Paul Reubens, Glenn Shaddix, Danny Elfman 

Release Date October 29th, 1993 

Published October 31st, 2023 

Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas was a slightly troubled project. It carried a $25 million dollar price tag. It was made by Henry Selick who, at the time, was not a big name. It had no star power behind it, in terms of the main voice cast. So concerned was Disney about how the film's horror aesthetic frightening the core demographic of Disney Animated films that they removed the Disney label from the film. Instead, the film was released by Disney subsidiary Touchstone Pictures. But Disney wasn't done fretting about The Nightmare Before Christmas. 

Despite a gorgeous look, an absolutely stunning production design and an incredible music from Danny Elfman, Disney didn't think the film would make money without a big star involved. The only big star on hand was Producer Tim Burton. Burton had helped oversee production but was not involved in the creative, this was Henry Selick's baby. But, Burton was coming off of a pair of hit Batman movies and having his name on the marquee in front of The Nightmare Before Christmas might provide a hook that was needed for the film to make money. 

They need not have fretted so much. 30 years later, The Nightmare Before Christmas isn't merely a successful cult classic, it's a smash hit. The $25 million dollar, 2 year production, has now returned a massive profit and even returned to near the top of the box office after 30 years. Since the film was released on October 29th, 1993, it has gone on to gross nearly $100 million dollars. Moreover, the film is a Halloween staple and still moves a mountain of merchandise including costumes, plush toys, decorations, and digital downloads for Danny Elfman's beloved music. 

The Nightmare Before Christmas became a meme before such things existed, before the internet. The Henry Selick horror aesthetic launched a million Hot Topic fashions and gave Gen-X goth kids an inspiration for years worth of style choices. That's a remarkable legacy for something that barely clocks in at feature length and has a story as desperately threadbare as this one. From a story perspective, there is hardly anything to describe. I will do my best, but the truth about The Nightmare Before Christmas is that it was never much of a movie, it was always more of a lifestyle. 

Find my full length reviiew at Geeks.Media 

Documentary Review Pay or Die

Pay or Die (2023) 

Directed by Rachel Dyer, Scott Alexander Ruderman 

Written by Documentary

Starring The Public Fight Over Insulin

Release Date November 1st, Streaming on Paramount Plus November 14th 

Published October 31st, 2023 

I was going to say that other countries in the world are laughing at our healthcare system but that's not true. You see, other countries have a deep wealth of empathy for others so rather than mock us for the mess that is our healthcare system, our insurance nightmare, and the con-game that is our pharmaceutical industry, other countries feel pity for us. Friends from other countries ask me regularly to come live in their country because they know how much I pay for Asthma medication that I have to have in order to live. It's medication I could get for a fraction of the price in other countries and that I have to scrimp and save for in a country where I am one of the people who actually has affordable insurance. It's just insurance that doesn't cover the one drug I need in order to keep breathing. 

The new documentary, Pay or Die, from directors Rachel Dyer and Scott Alexander Ruderman is far more harrowing than even my modest struggle every few months to purchase asthma medication. Pay or Die is about how pharmaceutical companies are gouging people who can't live without insulin. Let me be clear, they are gouging people who can't live without insulin. The cost to produce insulin versus the price that patients must pay for insulin is a four figure profit mark up for the three companies that produce 90% of the insulin made in America. These companies sell insulin in America at 4 figure prices whereas you can buy insulin in Canada, Great Britain, or Switzerland for a between 15 and 20 bucks. 

This means that poor Americans are dying because they can't afford to purchase a drug that they need to stay alive. Pay or Die opens its story on just one of those deaths. A 24 year old man making minimum wage could not afford to buy his insulin for his Type 1 Diabetes. He was hoping that he could ration what little insulin he had until his next payday. His friend went to pick him up for work and found him passed out on the floor of his apartment. He had passed away because he'd not been able to afford more insulin and his payday did not arrive in time. 

If you don't know about Type 1 Diabetes, the fact is, you can't simply go a few days without insulin. It's deadly to not have insulin on hand. But, this young man could not afford it and insurance and an apartment and a vehicle so he was trying to get through from one paycheck to the next. The bill for his monthly insulin was in the range of $1500 dollars per month. This is because the price of Insulin, in just the last 5 years has gone up over 600%. The three companies that produce 96% of all of the insulin in America have profits in the billions and insulin is a top profit driver for those companies. 

Read my full length review at Longevity.Media 

Movie Review Rustin

Rustin (2023) 

Directed by George C. Wolfe 

Written by Julian Breece, Dustin Lance Black

Starring Colman Domingo, Aml Ameen, Glynn Turman, Chris Rock, Jeffrey Wright 

Release November 3rd, 2023

Published November 2nd, 2023 

I must be honest, I am not sure I can review the movie Rustin objectively. The film stars Colman Domingo, an actor whom I have interviewed on three occasions and who I have found thoroughly charming. Despite being an actor on a media tour on which he spoke to numerous journalists and was undoubtedly as the same questions again and again, Domingo is one of the most dynamic and kind interview subjects I've had the pleasure of talking to. And, on top of that, after my first interview with him, he remembered my name the next two tours I was on with him and recalled details from the prior interviews. The man is a wonder. 

With that out of the way, Colman Domingo is exceptional in Rustin. Based on the true story of the 1963 Civil Rights march on Washington D.C, Domingo plays the driving force behind the March, Bayard Rustin, a controversial figure in the Civil Rights movement of the 50s and 60s. Rustin was at the right hand of Martin Luther King (Aml Ameen) until Bayard over played his hand politically and King was forced to side against him, causing Bayard to resign and leave the Civil Rights movement all together for several years. 

Rustin was drawn back into the Civil Rights struggle after seeing the horrors being committed by authorities in Alabama. Reverting to his roots as a planner and organizer, Rustin gathers together a disparate group of young radicals in California and starts planning for a two day march on Washington D.C intended to put pressure on Congress to pass President Kennedy's Civil Rights bill. The plan is for more than 100,000 black people to gather on the National Mall where people like Dr. Martin Luther King and prominent black leaders from around the country will address the crowd. 

8 weeks is the time frame when Bayard pitches the idea to Union Leader and Civil Rights legend, A. Phillip Randolph (Glynn Turman). The idea would be absurd if it weren't for Bayard Rustin whose talent for organizing is seemingly unmatched at the time. Randolph is on board but it will take a lot more convincing to get black leaders involved. Specifically, Roy Wilkins, the head of the NAACP is no friend or fan of Rustin. It was Wilkins who appeared to orchestrate Rustin's ouster from leadership among Civil Rights leaders, and help divide Rustin from his friendship with Dr. Martin Luther King. 

Click here for my full length review 

Movie Review The Holdovers

The Holdovers (2023) 

Directed by Alexander Payne 

Written by David Hemingson 

Starring Paul Giamatti, Dominic Sessa, Da'Vine Joy Randolph 

Release Date October 27th, 2023 

Published November 20th, 2023 

The Holdovers is the story of three people trying to avoid discomfort, sadness, and reminders of grief and loss. It's a story that patiently and comically lays out the case that avoiding life is as painful or more painful than risking pain or sadness in the pursuit of something good. The trio of main characters in The Holdovers are cut off from the world physically and, more importantly, metaphorically as they'd like to avoid discomfort or wish that they could shape the world to what they want it to be. They will each learn that the world doesn't conform to anyone's will and that hiding from the world is not the answer. 

Paul Hunham, a perfectly rumpled Paul Giamatti, is the most hated teacher at Barden Academy, a private school for very, very, rich boys. Hunham is openly contemptuous and hostile toward students who don't appear to take their learning as seriously as he does. Hunham doesn't appear to enjoy many things but he does relish openly insulting students who fail to meet his standard of excellence in learning. Oh but, Paul's contempt is not reserved for just the lesser students in his class. He has hate for school staff, fellow teachers, and for his boss, a former student of his who can't understand how Paul has remained at the school considering how miserable Paul appears to be at all times. 

The plot of The Holdovers kicks in when one of Paul's fellow teachers schemes his way out of staying at the school for the winter/Christmas break. Thus, the duty of staying behind at the school and supervising kids left behind by parents and guardians, falls to Paul. Admittedly, Paul was going to be at the school during the break anyway, he doesn't have a life or home away from Barton. Monitoring the holdover students will also allow Paul to indulge in his dictatorial style of teaching even during a time when students are supposed to be on a break. 

There are five students this year who have nowhere to go for the holidays. Among the five is Angus Tully (Dominic Sessa), a brilliant young man haunted by the ghost of his father. The other four students are soon shuffled off to a convenient trip with a generous parent but Angus is stuck as his mother is refusing to respond to repeated calls. Thus, we end up with Paul, Angus, and the school's head cook, Mary Lamb (Da'Vine Joy Randolph). Mary is grieving the loss of her son who was killed in Vietnam not long before the setting of this story in December of 1970. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media

Classic Movie Review Mrs. Doubtfire

Mrs. Doubtfire (1993) 

Directed by Chris Columbus 

Written by Randy Mayem Singer, Leslie Dixon 

Starring Robin Williams, Sally Field, Mara Wilson, Pierce Brosnan 

Release Date November 24th, 2023 

Published November 27th, 2023 

I feel like our culture has gaslighted us all for the past 30 years. During this time period our culture has maintained a notion that Mrs. Doubtfire is a classic comedy about a father who will do anything to be close to his kids following a separation and divorce from his kind but worn out ex-wife, played by Sally Field. If you look at the film simply through the lens of our culture-wide love affair with the late Robin Williams, you will only ever find people who think that Mrs. Doubtfire is an untouchable comedy classic, ranking among the best family comedies ever made. 

If, however, you view the film without your rose colored glasses, Mrs. Doubtfire is a mess. This is a sloppy and ludicrous movie that stops dead repeatedly so that Robin Williams can do annoying schtick more at home on a mediocre sitcom than in any mainstream feature comedy. But, even more insidious is the bizarre notion that Robin Williams' devoted dad is some kind of hero. This is patently absurd if you actually watch the movie. I recently watched Mrs. Doubtfire for the I Hate Critics 1993 podcast and the consensus among the three of us on the show is that Robin Williams is the villain of Mrs. Doubtfire. 

I realize this is hard for some people to hear but it's true. Williams' Daniel is a terrible person. Every choice he makes, every desperate, sweaty attempt at fooling people, and all of the lying he does to cover his backside, Daniel is a villain. You can try and convince yourself that he does all of these things because he's being kept from his children, but the reality is that he could have been with his children as their father but he chose to be their friend and he chose not to be a good and caring partner to his wife. Those are the facts and I will happily lay them out for you. 

Mrs. Doubtfire stars Robin Williams as Daniel, a father of three whom we meet as he quits his job as a voiceover artist. He does it because he doesn't want to voice a cartoon in which a character is seen smoking. He's concerned about the effect of seeing smoking on kids and I sympathize with that. However, can we pause and consider the level of privilege one must have to be able to quit a good job over a moral disagreement like this? A lot of us aren't in a financial position to be able to quit a job simply because we have a minor qualm. 

So, why does Daniel feel comfortable walking out on his job? It's because his wife, Miranda (Sally Field) has a great job, a well paying job. It's a job that makes their life together with three kids possible and provides him the freedom to think he can quit his job on a whim. Quitting as he does allows Daniel time to pick up his kids from school and get home in time to throw a birthday party for his son that includes a petting zoo and dozens of kids who run around their house crawling on the furniture, throwing trash on the floor and bringing the pets from the zoo into the house. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review Dream Scenario

Dream Scenario (2023) 

Directed by Kristoffer Borgli 

Written by Kristoffer Borgli 

Starring Nicolas Cage, Julianne Nicholson, Michael Cera, Dylan Baker, Tim Meadows 

Release Date December 1st

Published November 30th, 2023 

Dream Scenario stars Nicolas Cage as college professor, Paul Matthews, a bang average human being who randomly starts showing up in the dreams of strangers and acquaintances alike. Why? No one knows. It starts with Paul's youngest daughter, Sophie (Lily Bird), who suffers a nightmare in which things fall from the sky and her father is there and does not react. He continues just to watch as Sophie begins to float away, all the while calling for him as he stands and watches, doing nothing. As Sophie relates this dream the following morning, Paul can't help but seize on how he feels Sophie is portraying him as a bad father for letting her float away, something she was not doing. 

Paul seems to seek out things to take offense to, personal slights that he can seize on as if the world were always conspiring against him. One such offense occurs that same day as Paul attends a lunch with a former colleague. He's chosen to confront this colleague on the vague assumption that she's about to publish a paper that he believes was inspired by his work over a decade earlier. The deeply awkward and uncomfortable confrontation occurs at a restaurant at what this colleague believed would be a friendly bit of catching up. The friend hasn't even picked up her menu before Paul accuses her of not crediting him on her paper.

Never mind that in the more than a decade since they have spoken that Paul had not published on this topic, he's the one who has been slighted. The scene is edgy and anxiety inducing because we've only begun to know Paul and this is our first lengthy introduction to Paul and he's a sweaty, stammering, deeply awkward mess who doesn't realize what a mess he is. Paul is clearly in the wrong her and his gross entitlement and barely restrained anger charge the scene with a finger nails on a chalkboard like feeling of skin crawling physical cringe. 

This feeling will return throughout the entirety of Dream Scenario as Paul grows into a strange viral celebrity and, as happens with such odd fame, he quickly turns into a canceled villain. If you think Paul is hard to take as a smiling, entitled minor celebrity, just wait for the levels of angst inducing cringe behavior he will engage in as his celebrity curdles into infamy. Nicolas Cage's performance is twitch inducing. He makes you wish you could flee from him even as you can't tear yourself away from this fascinating story as it unfolds. The premise is such a grabber that the question of why this guy is appearing so many different stranger's dreams keeps you rooted to your seat. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media