Movie Review Godzilla X Kong: The New Empire

Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire (2024) 

Directed by Adam Wingard 

Written by Terry Rossio, Simon Barrett, Jeremy Slater 

Starring Rebecca Hall, Bryan Tyree Henry, Dan Stevens Kaylee Hottle 

Release Date March 29th, 2024 

Published April 2nd, 2024 

My apathy towards Godzilla x Kong The New Empire knows no bounds. I saw the film a little before the release and was so unmoved by the movie that I forgot to write a review of it prior to the release. It's such a nonexistent movie for me that I have had to read through the Wiki description of the plot, more than once, to recall the plot of the movie. It's so boringly slick and stupidly loud that the only lasting impact Godzilla x Kong The New Empire had on me was a slight damage to my hearing in my right ear, I think I was too close to the speakers on the right side. 

Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire takes Godzilla and King Kong and makes them partners. It's a team up movie in the monster-verse. You can hear the marketing buzzwords bouncing off the walls. King Kong is struggling to adjust to life in Middle Earth, sorry, The Hollow Earth, the inside of the Earth where he hopes to find more giant apes like himself. Thus far, he's made no progress and has spent his time in pain from a toothache. Indeed, the opening act of Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire spends most of its time dealing with Kong's bad tooth. 

Rebecca Hall, gritting her teeth while picking up a big budget paycheck, returns to the franchise as Dr. Ilene Andrews, Monarch Corporation's leading expert on King Kong. It was Dr. Andrews who helped discover the hollow earth and helped get Kong there and away from Godzilla who remains on the surface of the Earth, protecting it by destroying large swaths of it when fighting other 'titans' for dominance. In a moment the movie sure thinks is cute, Godzilla uses the Colisseum in Rome as a Godzilla sized doggy bed. 

The plot kicks in when Godzilla becomes agitated by a signal coming from the hollow Earth. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Classic Movie Review The Paper

The Paper (1994) 

Directed by Ron Howard 

Written by David Koepp, Steven Koepp

Starring Michael Keaton, Marisa Tomei, Randy Quaid, Glen Close, Robert Duvall

Release Date March 18th, 1994 

Published 

The Paper stars Michael Keaton as Henry Hackett, Metro Editor for a New York City tabloid perpetually on the brink of closing. With a baby on the way, with his reporter wife, Martha (Marisa Tomei), Henry is plotting an exit from the paper. On this day, as we join the story, Henry has an interview with a Wall Street Journal style, internationally respected newspaper. Henry doesn't want the job. He wants the money but he'd much rather stay at his current employer where he can get his hands dirty. Instead of being behind a desk with a fat paycheck, Henry needs the excitement of the metro page. 

Making Henry's choice to stay or go at his current gig difficult is his rival, Alicia (Glenn Close). Alicia is a former reporter and editor who is now a bean counter. She makes big decisions based on budgets instead of journalism and Henry resents her for switching sides. Henry doesn't want to end up working under Alicia and her penny pinching, thus another reason he's considering leaving. Holding him in place is his current boss, Bernie (Robert Duvall), a legendary editor and the final word at the paper. As long as Bernie is there, Alicia is mostly neutralized. But how much longer does Bernie have? 

These questions roil beneath the surface creating tension while the bigger story begins to unfold. The paper has missed a big story. Last night, a pair of businessmen were gunned down and every other newspaper in town ran with the story. The paper is playing catch up and Henry is determined not to get scooped for a second day in a row. He wants to know the moment an arrest is made so they can get the picture and the story on the front page that night. But first, what if the story is wrong? What if the eventual arrest of two black teenagers for the crime is wrong? 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review Monkey Man

Monkey Man (2024) 

Directed by Dev Patel 

Written by Dev Patel, Paul Angunawela 

Starring Dev Patel, Pitobash, Sharlto Copley, Vipin Sharma 

Release Date April 5th, 2024 

Published April 8th, 2024 

Monkey Man is bathed in cool. Dev Patel's directorial palette is blood red, it's sweat soaked and bruised. It's Dev Patel's first time behind the camera and he directs the confidence of someone who has done this all of his life. It's beyond impressive, it's epic. This guy just gets it, camera placement, pacing, his use of color and music. But he also gets the emotion of cinema. Weaving a story about a boy losing his mother through his blood-soaked and battered action flick. Monkey Man is a punk rock action flick with a Bollywood soul, and a genuine, big beating heart. 

Monkey Man stars Dev Patel Kid, sometimes Bobby, and always Monkey Man. As a boy, Kid grew up in a lush, green forest. He spent days chasing his mother around the surrounding hills, falling asleep in her arms at night as she weaved epic tales of a Hanuman, the devoted warrior companion of Rama. In these incredible stories, the heroics of Hamuman resonate in the young Kid's mind, how Hanuman, the Monkey Man, led glorious victories on behalf of Rama. These stories are the foundation of Kid's moral core, one that will be tested and forged in fire, blood, and broken bones. 

The story of Haniman is inspiring, but the story of the Kid, will not be inspiring. It begins with our Monkey Man in a fight pit giving up his blood and teeth for a few bucks. This underground fight club, overseen by Tiger (Sharlto Copley), affords Kid the chance to lose but earn a few extra bucks from helping to fix the fight in favor of Tiger's chosen champion. Those extra bucks aren't enough to lift Kid out of poverty. But this is poverty with purpose. Kid, is saving his pennies for the chance at vengeance. He's using what little money he earns to build toward his roaring rampage of revenge. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Horror in the 90s: Leprechaun 2

Leprechaun 2 (1994) 

Directed by Rodman Flender

Written by Turi Meyer, Al Septien

Starring Warwick Davis, Tony Cox, Charlie Heath, Shevonne Durkin, Sandy Baron 

Release Date April 8th, 1994 

Box Office $2.3 Million 

It's an almost universal truth, if the story behind the scenes of your movie is more interesting than your movie, the movie generally stinks. This isn't always true, Titanic has a more interesting behind the scenes journey but Titanic is still quite a good movie. But, as a general rule, my point stands. Leprechaun 2 is a solid proof of concept for my thesis. The story behind Leprechaun 2 is far more interesting than this bland, boring, and unfunny comic horror movie. The first Leprechaun movie wasn't exactly a great movie either but the sequel is quite, quite bad. 

The story goes that no one behind the 1993 movie Leprechaun believed that the film would be a hit. Then, the film made 8 times its miniscule budget back in theatric grosses and became a home video monster, hitting the VHS market and becoming cash machine. So, of course, marketers with dollar signs dancing in their heads needed a sequel and immediately approached director Mark Jones and star Jennifer Aniston for a sequel. And, they both said no. Now, Jones wasn't a hard no, he was just busy making another horror movie called Rumpelstiltskin, a horror movie we all remember and revere today, I'm sure. 

Jennifer Aniston meanwhile is reported to have laughed so hard at the idea of leaving Friends for a sequel to Leprechaun that her guffaw could be heard across the galaxy. Friends wasn't yet the global phenomenon that it would become, but it was more than enough of a good reason for Aniston to blow off the makers of Leprechaun 2 in no uncertain terms. And so it was, without the man who wrote and directed the hit original and no Jennifer Aniston, the makers of Leprechaun 2 had only their Leprechaun, Warwick Davis, and nothing else in place. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media 

Movie Review The Listener

The Listener (2024) 

Directed by Steve Buscemi 

Written by Alessandro Camon 

Starring Tessa Thompson, Rebecca Hall 

Release Date March 29th, 2024

Published March 26th, 2024

The Listener stars Tessa Thompson as the employee of a suicide hotline. A former drug addict, a few years removed from a prison sentence 'Beth,' as she calls herself on the calls she takes, uses her personal experience to relate to the numerous people who call her for a listening ear. Beth works the overnight shift, the busiest time of the day for potential suicides. The calls she takes take a toll on her, but she stays at it because she knows what it is like to be at the lowest of lows. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review Arcadian

Arcadian (2024) 

Directed by Ben Brewer

Written by Michael Nilon 

Starring Nicolas Cage, Jaeden Martell, Maxwell Jenkins, Sadie Soverall

Release Date April 12th, 2024 

Published April 10th, 2024

Arcadian stars Nicolas Cage as Paul. In a post-apocalyptic world, Paul is among the lucky few who escaped devastated cities for the relative peace of the countryside. He's managed to do this while carrying to babies, Joseph and Thomas. Are they his children? We don't know for sure, we never see the mother. Paul could very well have rescued these two babies and is taking them to safety. Regardless, it's a demonstration of character and fortitude that, in a post-apocalypse beset by monsters, that anyone would rescue and raise not one but two babies. 

After we roll the opening credits we jump ahead to Joseph and Thomas as teenagers learning from Paul how to be self-sufficient and stay alive in the post-apocalypse. The trio live on a farm, far from the ravaged cities but the beasts, be they aliens or some other sort of monster, are now coming for them. Having assumedly taken what they can from the large cities and suburbs, the desperate monsters are learning and adapting, they are figuring out how to get around the defenses that Paul and his sons have built on the farm. 

What do we know about the monsters? They don't go out in daylight. In fact, it appears that the sun harms them. They also have fearsome claws that, over time, can scratch through even the biggest wooden door. This wasn't always the case. Nor was it always the case that these monsters would try and dig holes, but this appears to be happening as documented by Joseph (Jaeden Martell), who has become fascinated with studying the monsters, charting their evolution and learning about their weaknesses and way to fight them. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review Civil War

Civil War (2024) 

Directed by Alex Garland

Written by Alex Garland

Starring Kirsten Dunst, Cailee Spaeny, Wagner Moura, William McKinley Henderson, Nick Offerman

Release Date April 12th, 2024 

Published April 12th, 2024 

So, war is bad. Don't do war. If you do war then we won't have internet or even electricity. People will have live in tents in football stadiums, it's all bad. There is no NFL, no NBA, no March Madness. No movies, no Marvel, no Disney Plus. War truly sucks. 0 out of 5 stars for war. Are you enjoying my sarcasm? I'm laying it on pretty thick. On a very surface level, this is the thesis statement behind Alex Garland's new movie Civil War. Lot's of people will die and nothing good will happen if we let our country slip into a civil war. 

Civil War stars Kirsten Dunst as veteran photo journalist, Lee Smith. Lee and her reporter colleague, Joel (Wagner Moura) are planning a perilous journey to the White House from New York City. This is dangerous because the so-called 'Western Forces' of Texas and California have moved the frontline of the Civil War to the President's front door. To get to the White House and the chance to interview the President (Nick Offerman), will mean crossing the almost invisible line between Americans fighting the government and government forces fighting on behalf of the embattled President.

Which side is right or wrong is not part of this conversation. We will never learn why the two sides are fighting. You can make your assumptions and perhaps try to make the President out to be a Trump-like figure who is clinging to power against the will of the American people, but the movie doesn't have a rooting interest, it doesn't take a side. The movie Civil War is simply opposed to war of any kind and that's something that the movie and I have in common. Indeed, that is something that most people have in common, we don't want to be in a war. 

Find my full length review at Swamp.Media 

Classic Movie Review Four Weddings and a Funeral

Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994) 

Directed by Mike Newell

Written by Richard Curtis 

Starring Hugh Grant, Andie McDowell, John Hannah, Simon Callow, Kristen Scott Thomas 

Release Date April 15th, 1994 

Published April 15th, 1994 

Four Weddings and a Funeral is exactly what the title says it is, four weddings and one funeral over a period of about a year in the life of a group of British friends. Charles (Hugh Grant) seems to attend a wedding a week these days. Despite his deplorable record as a ladies man, which will play out through the series of weddings that occur, Charles keeps getting invited to weddings and goes in with the hope of hooking up. He's cynical about love but secretly a romantic. We will learn this via his strange and strained relationship with Carrie (Andie McDowell). 

At the first of four weddings Charles attends he's the best man. Naturally, he nearly ruins the wedding by forgetting the rings. Thankfully, his friends, Tom (James Fleet), Gareth (Simon Callow), Matthew (John Hannah), and Fiona (Kristen Scott Thomas), along with Charles' sister, Scarlett (Charlotte Coleman), are able to bail him out. Narrowly avoiding that disaster, Charles stumbles into a potential non-disaster when he meets Carrie. For Charles, it's love at first sight. For Carrie, she seems to like the floppy Englishman but it takes a minute for her to warm to him. The two end up sleeping together, after some shenanigans, but then she's off, back to America. 

Cut to wedding number 2. Charles is just a guest this time and instead of nearly ruining the wedding, the universe appears to be ruining Charles' day. Not only were he and Scarlett nearly late to the wedding, they always are, he ends up at the reception sat at a table with not one, not two, but three of his ex-girlfriends. Each takes the time to tell a story about Charles, ones in which he appears to insult one of the other two exes. It's a catastrophe but one that he hope might be mitigated when he sees that Carrie has come to this wedding as well. This too however, is a disaster as Carrie is here with her new fiancée. This doesn't stop Charles and Carrie from hooking up but it's certainly not a good indication of long term plans. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media

Movie Review The People's Joker

The People's Joker (2024) 

Directed by Vera Drew

Written by Vera Drew, Bri LaRose 

Starring Vera Drew, Lynn Downey, Christian Calloway, Scott Aukerman, Bob Odenkirk, Tim Heidecker 

Release Date April 19th, 2024 

Published April 17th, 2024 

The People's Joker is pure punk rock anarchy filtered through the lens of an auteur unlike any we have seen before. Vera Drew is the visionary behind this almost indescribable takedown of the Batman/Joker legend and lore. Entirely outside of the purview of permission, Drew and their collaborators took the well known characters of the D.C Universe and turned them on their heads in the most unique and unpredictable fashion. Not one minute of The People's Joker is predictable, it's a train running down the tracks with Drew at the helm and the whole thing in flames with no slowing down. I loved every minute of it. 

Trying to describe the plot of The People's Joker is a rather futile effort, not that the movie is plotless, it's just deciding where to start that's the problem. In this dystopian future, Vera (Vera Drew) is from Smallville but dreams of going to Gotham City where a show called UCB Live is the biggest show in the world and Lorne Michaels rules comedy with an iron fist. It's also where a retired Batman still dominates the headlines despite no longer being the caped crusader. On UCB Live, Vera is assigned the identity of a Male Joker. In the harsh world of UCB Live, you are either a Male Joker with a distinct identity and able to perform on the show or a female Harlequin and designated as only a background dancer. 

Find my full length review at Pride.Media 

Movie Review The Iron Claw

The Iron Claw (2023) 

Directed by Sean Durkin

Written by Sean Durkin

Starring Zac Efron, Holt McCallany, Harris Dickinson, Jeremy Allen White, Lily James, Maura Tierney 

Release Date December 22nd, 2023 

Published ?

Instead of reviewing what I think is a very bad movie, The Iron Claw, I am going to make a list of the many things the movie gets wrong combined with a list of things the film omitted that might have made the film better. As a wrestling fan, I am remarkably familiar with the controversies, the tragedies, and the triumphs of the Von Erich family. The misery porn that director Sean Durkin is engaged in in The Iron Claw is nothing compared to the real life tragedies and controversies that the Von Erich family were part of from the late 1970s and into the early 1990s. 

What The Iron Claw gets wrong: Spoilers ahead, it's based on a true story, but the movie fictionalizes so much that, I guess, this stuff qualifies as spoilers. 

The Timeline 

The Iron Claw proceeds essentially from 1980 when Kevin Von Erich, played by Zac Efron, met and married his wife, Pam, played by Lily James. While at Kevin's wedding, we see Kevin's brother, David, played by Harris Dickinson fall ill. He's vomiting blood and Kevin advises David not to take a trip to Japan the following week, advising David to get some rest first. David assures Kevin he will be fine and he goes on the trip to Japan. Cut to, Fritz Von Erich alone at his kitchen table, distraught. While on tour in Japan, David suffered from Enteritis and died in his hotel room. 

From Kevin Von Erich's marriage in 1980 to David's death from either Enteritis or a drug overdose, depending on whose story you believe, were four years. Four years in which David Von Erich had the biggest successes of his career. In 1980 he broke away from his father and traveled the country working in Florida, where he played a bad guy for a while, a rite of passage in the industry that would not have been afforded to him by his father. He also went to Missouri and was able to win the Missouri Heavyweight Championship, arguably the biggest solo honor of his short career. 

There appears to be little justification for compressing four years into one week and it only serves to remove the devastating emotional impact of David's death, which is reduced to a single scene of Fritz telling Kevin that David had died. Tell don't show is a plague on The Iron Claw as so many significant incidents in the lives and careers of the Von Erich's are either ignored completely or we are told that they happened offscreen. 

Kerry Von Erich's personal life 

In The Iron Claw you would assume that Kerry Von Erich was a lonely, drug addicted playboy whose only life was in the wrestling ring. That's partially true. But what The Iron Claw fails to tell you, I assume because they were cut for time, is that Kerry was married and had children. In the movie, Kerry's marriage and his children, including future pro wrestler Lacy Von Erich, are never mentioned and completely ignored. As Kerry spirals toward his tragic, far to young death by suicide, his brother asks him about some random woman that he'd brought home for the holidays. She was some woman he met on the road or something. He never asks about Kerry's wife or mentions his children as a reason for Kerry not to take his own life. 

More Timeline shenanigans 

If David's death happened a week after Kevin's marriage in 1981, then Kerry Von Erich won the NWA World Heavyweight Championship and at the David Von Erich Parade of Champions event a little over a month and a half later. And, according to the timeline in The Iron Claw, Kerry went out and got very drunk and crashed his motorcycle and lost part of his leg that same night. Naturally, that didn't happen that way. Kerry won the title in 1984, a little over a month after David died that same year. Kerry didn't suffer his motorcycle accident and the amputation of the lower part of his right leg until 1986, long after he'd lost the NWA world title. 

The remarkable and tragic story of Kerry's motorcycle accident. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review Origin

Origin (2024) 

Directed by Ava Duvernay

Written by Ava Duvernay

Starring Anjanue Ellis-Taylor, Jon Bernthal, Vera Farmiga, Isha Blaaker

Release Date January 25th, 2024 

Published January 25th, 2024 

Origin is a big project. Adapting a non-fiction story tracking the origin of racial discrimination via the history of the caste system worldwide, is not an easy task. It's a roiling beast of a project that director Ava Duvernay is perhaps the only filmmaker could attempt to tame and tease into a familiar film drama. The book, Caste: The Origins of Our Discontent, a bestseller for writer Isabel Wilkerson, is a deeply academic, research heavy effort that is far from the most natural book to be turned into a dramatic feature film. Director Ava Duvernay had to give a dramatic shape to the story and she found that shape in the author's life story. 

Aunjanue Ellis-Taylor stars in Origin as Isabel Wilkerson, an author struggling with the idea for her next book. She wants to chart the origin of racism in America but her research slowly takes her in a new direction. What she finds is that racism isn't as simple as white people hating black people, though that is a big part of it. Rather, the true roots of racism are often economic in nature. The need for a class of people who exist to do the work that others don't wish to do leads to the owning class to create a caste system in which particular members of a culture are chosen to be that class of people who will perform tasks. 

Leaders in these cultures quickly realized that they could create the workers they needed by exploiting racial and religious differences. Demonizing people for the color of their skin or by the difference in their religious beliefs proved to be an effective way to find a cheap, pliable workforce, groups of people who have no option but to accept poor treatment, low wages, and terrible working conditions, just for the chance to survive. Thus, confronting racial differences required more than overcoming a specific prejudice based on color, it requires dismantling economic systems that have been constructed over hundreds of years that thrived off of this forced labor based on discrimination. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media. 

Movie Review The First Omen

The First Omen (2024)

Directed by Arkasha Stevenson 

Written by Tim Smith, Arkasha Stevenson, Keith Thomas 

Starring Nell Tiger Free, Sonia Braga, Ralph Inseson, Bill Nighy

Release Date April 5th, 2024

Published April 5th, 2024 

The First Omen isn't so much of a movie as it is a widget. I mean widget in its first definition, not the internet definition. The First Omen is a product created by a committee who were given budget and a deadline and told to create a sellable product. The people who made it may be of the highest talent and may create a terrific product, but there is no escaping the widget comparison. If The First Omen were not connected to a studio owned franchise, it would not exist and the people who made it, likely would never have worked together. A studio had a product that it wanted made. The studio chose a product manager, a team lead, and a group of people to run the factory floor and they crafted a product for consumption in the market place. 

You can say, that's most movies, and I don't disagree with you. But, you can sense when someone is making a passionate work of art, a deep expression coming from the soul of a genuine artist. And, you can tell when someone is tasked with producing a widget, when they are accomplishing an assignment with a budget and deadline and not a work of a passionate soul. This is not to simply say that by its nature, The First Omen is a bad movie, it's not poorly made. It's a terrific widget. But a widget will never be a transcendent work of art. It will always be a functional mass produced consumer product, no matter how good the effort was to create it. 

The First Omen stars Nell Tiger Free as Sister Margaret, a troubled young Nun who has come to Rome at the behest of her loving mentor, Cardinal Lawrence (Bill Nighy). Cardinal Lawrence was once a humble Priest who helped Margaret survive a difficult childhood in a Massachusetts orphanage. Now, he's using his power as a Cardinal in Vatican City to get Margaret a place at a church run orphanage in Rome, in 19171. It's a heady change for Margaret who turned to God after growing up tormented so badly by visions that she thought she might lose her mind. She still occasionally has horrific visions of the abuse her mind tells her did not actually occur. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media 

Movie Review Roadhouse

Road House (2024) 

Directed Doug Liman 

Written by Charles Mondry, Anthony Bagarozzi 

Starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Conor MacGregor 

Release Date March 21st, 2024

Published March 25th, 2024

Imagine if someone tried to remake The Room without Tommy Wiseau. Imagine if they tried to take Wiseau's premise and treat it with seriousness and make it into a serious drama? Would it even still be The Room? No, the magic would be gone. It would be a boring soap opera. No, the magic of The Room is the unique alchemy that emerges from when Tommy Wiseau's outsized ambition crashes headlong into his complete lack of talent and is forged in the fire of his self-delusion. You cannot remake that. You cannot recapture that kind of magic. 

Roadhouse is like The Room. The magic of Roadhouse comes from the unique alchemy of director Rowdy Herrington's love of sleazy bars with sticky, beer soaked floors, holes in the walls from errant fists, and from Patrick Swayze's unmatched ability to be bizarrely emotionally detached and fully physically present in every scene. His Zen bouncer is a miscalculation in theory but in practice, it is cheeseball comic gold. He's funny but only because he has no idea that he's funny. The joy or Roadhouse is how deeply dedicated Swayze and everyone else is to this sleazy, cheeseball nonsense. 

In remaking Roadhouse, the fun is completely lost in favor of a desire to be taken seriously. The premise is played straight with the fun sucked out almost entirely. A deeply bored Jake Gyllenhaal replaces Swayze's Zen and so much is lost in that translation. Gyllenhaal is too good of an actor to understand the glorious silliness of being a Zen bouncer fighting rednecks over control of a small Kansas town. Instead of trying to be above it, Gyllenhaal just comes of bemused and self-satisfied and that's just not fun at all. Plus, he doesn't rip out a single throat. Not one. 

Road House begins in bizarre fashion, establishing that no one knows what they are doing here. Gyllenhaal's Dalton shows up at a bar where they hold an unsanctioned fight club. There, a bruiser, played in cameo by Post Malone, has fought and defeated 6 men. Dalton is set to be next but the bruiser smartly bows out, refusing to fight Dalton because he knows who Dalton is. He's also just fought 6 other people and is bleeding and exhausted. So, instead of establishing Dalton as a man of honor and toughness, he comes off as an opportunist and a coward. Not the best way to introduce our hero. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media

Movie Review Immaculate

Immaculate (2024) 

Directed by Michael Mohan 

Written by Andrew Lobel 

Starring Sydney Sweeney, Alvaro Morte 

Release Date March 22nd, 2024 

Published March 26th, 2024 

Great directors know that all aspects of filmmaking matter. The script, the aesthetic, the music, the sound, it's all important to creating a truly great movie. First time director Michael Mohan demonstrates control over all aspects of filmmaking in his exceptional debut feature, Immaculate. The story of a Nun who is tricked into moving to Italy and into an ancient nunnery with a deep, dark, secret, Immaculate uses the tools of filmmaking exceptionally well. Most notably, the film's impeccable sound design puts the horror in your head in an inescapable fashion. 

Immaculate stars Sydney Sweeney as Sister Cecilia. At the age of 8, Cecilia fell through the ice in her hometown and nearly died. From that day, she dedicated herself to God and the search to find the reason God spared her. Now a nun, Sister Cecilia has recently lost her home parish in Detroit, Michigan. Fate intervened on her behalf as just as she was looking for a place to continue her path with God, Father Sal Tedeschi (Alvaro Morte), found her and offered her a place in an ancient Italian convent. 

This particular convent serves a very important purpose. The nuns here administer to elderly nuns in hospice. It will be Sister Cecilia's job to help make her sisters comfortable as they reach the end of their lives. At least, that's what the job is supposed to be. Unfortunately, shortly after her arrival in Italy, Sister Cecilia falls ill. The illness takes hold and is a complete mystery until it is revealed that Sister Cecilia is pregnant. This comes as a shock to all as Cecilia is unquestionably a virgin. This leads her fellow Nuns and Father Sal to claim she is undergoing a miraculous Virgin birth. 

Plot mechanics tell you that not all is as it appears. There is a sinister element of Immaculate that we are aware of from the start of the film but that is kept from Sister Cecilia. The film opens with a terrifying sequence as a young Nun is attempting to escape from the convent. As she is just about to slip through a gate, a group of Nuns in terrifying, faceless masks capture her. I will leave to see the movie to see what happens next. I will only say that it took my breath away for a moment. It's a terrific sequence and sets up the rest of Immaculate incredibly well. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media 

Classic Movie Review One From the Heart

One From the Heart (1982)

Directed by Francis Ford Coppola 

Written by Armyan Bernstein, Francis Ford Coppola 

Starring Frederic Forrest, Teri Garr, Raul Julia, Nastassja Kinski, Lainie Kazan, Harry Dean Stanton

Release Date February 11th, 1982

Published February 8th, 2024 

I owe massive debt of gratitude to filmmakers Scott Beck and Bryan Woods. It's because of their love of movies that I had the chance to see Francis Ford Coppola's One from the Heart on the big screen. In late 2023, the team known for their script for A Quiet Place and their terrific horror movie, Haunt, returned to their home community, the Quad Cities, specifically Davenport, Iowa, to open The Last Picture House, an art house theater. Since then, they've brought modern Oscar contenders, short films and revivals like One from the Heart to the Quad Cities. And I cannot thank them enough for sharing their passion for movies. Because of Beck and Woods, and their brilliant bar manager, Alexa, I was able to discover a new favorite movie, a shaggy dog fiasco of a musical from the 1980s. 

The reputation of Francis Ford Coppola's One from the Heart is one of being a fiasco. One from the Heart is remembered mostly as a fantastic failure, a risky, overwrought flop from a filmmaker mad with power and new technology. Roger Ebert related an anecdote in his mixed review of the film about how Coppola turned a $9 million dollar production into a $25 million dollar failure due to his desire to use the most modern technology of 1982 to achieve his intensely unique vision. Coppola has long been portrayed as a madman on the sets of his movies and One from the Heart is another film teeming with Coppola lore. 

One from the Heart is a throwback to the big, blowsy, ballsy musicals of the 40s, 50s, and 60s, modernized with the kind of sex and nudity that the Hayes Code kept out of the movie business for so many years. The film stars Frederic Forrest as Hank, a layabout who has, perhaps, become too comfortable in his stagnating romance with Frannie (Teri Garr). She's certainly noticed and her restlessness versus his desire not to change is the fractious, contentious, romantic heart of One from the Heart. As Frannie strains against the confines of domesticity, Hank longs for things to be simple and home bound. 

The breaking point for the couple arrives when Frannie meets an exciting and intriguing piano player named Ray. Ray is played by Raul Julia, a man who wreaks with sex and passion. Where Hank wants a life of simple domesticity, Ray wants to travel, make love on the beaches of Bora Bora, or dance the night away in clubs or, in one truly spectacular sequence, in the streets of Las Vegas. Here Frannie and Ray ignite a strip long dance sequence filled with sweat, passion, and sex. It's a boldly chaotic dance staged like those elaborate stage musicals of Hollywood's past crossed with the sex and drug infused passion of the 70s and early 80s. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review Madame Web

Madame Web (2024)

Directed by S.J Clarkson 

Written by Matt Sazama, Burk Sharpless, Claire Parker, S.J Clarkson 

Starring Dakota Johnson, Adam Scott, Sydney Sweeney, Isabela Merced, Celeste O'Connor 

Release Date February 14th, 2024 

Published February 16th, 2024

Madame Web is a uniquely misconceived superhero flick. Part Morbius, part Catwoman, and all terrible, this Dakota Johnson led adventure in Sony's Wish.com version of the Marvel Universe is stunningly terrible. It's the kind of bad that catches you off guard. In this day and age movies tend toward being merely mediocre. Money and careful, risk-averse studios appeared to have found away to keep the truly bad movies away from the big screen in favor of making dull, inoffensive, and forgettable into an all new kind of bad movie. And yet, Madame Web has escaped the web of the merely mediocre into the rarified air of being genuinely bad. 

Madame Web stars Dakota Johnson as Cassie Webb, an EMS worker with a murky past. Cassie's mother died in childbirth and she grew up in the foster system. As an adult, Cassie's main source of support is her partner, Ben Parker (Adam Scott). When Cassie is nearly killed while providing life saving measures she begins to have visions of the future. These brief glimpses into the very near future help Cassie see that a mad man dressed in a dark costume is stalking three teenage women, each of whom she's met before, ever so briefly. Julia (Sydney Sweeney), Anya (Isabela Merced), and Mattie (Celeste O'Connor), are from entirely different backgrounds but they share a connection, a lack of a family. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Classic Movie Review Reality Bites

Reality Bites (1994)

Directed by Ben Stiller

Written by Helen Childress

Starring Winona Ryder, Ethan Hawke, Janeane Garofalo, Steve Zahn, Ben Stiller 

Release Date February 18th, 1994

Published February 21st, 1994

In the 80s you were called a sellout when you appeared in commercials for brands that people didn't like or respect. In the 90s, this insult evolved into people being called Posers. Essentially, people who tried to be part of a culture that they were not authentically part of were 'Posing,' pretending to be cool and hip and down with the kids. It's strange to think how antiquated this thinking is today. In our modern culture, some of the most popular celebrities are themselves a brand that is associated with other brands for the purpose of selling products to consumers, also known as fans. In the 80s, famed comedian Bill Hicks railed against celebrities in Diet Coke commercials as the ultimate sin that one could commit against authenticity. Today, you'd be hard pressed to find a celebrity who isn't accompanied by some kind of brand deal and we all just accept it as the norm. 

Sorry for the tangent but writing about Reality Bites bums me out so getting distracted is like a gentle and brief oasis. Reality Bites is the ultimate Poser movie. In the 90s, if marketers wanted to reach the youth market that would find an attractive model or celebrity, throw some flannel and chunky boots on them and have them 'Hello Fellow Young People' their way into our living rooms. We'd roll our eyes and call them posers and then probably still buy the products but ironically and without passion. That's Reality Bites in a nutshell, a movie that comes wandering in dressed in flannel and armored in irony and disaffected youth while selling the notion that it is The Big Chill for Generation X. And yes, I rolled my eyes when I thought of that and then bought a ticket for Reality Bites so I could roll my eyes in front of the big screen and pretend not to care about how the movie was selling a conception of my generation to me like any other branded product. 

Reality Bites stars Winona Ryder as Lelaina Pierce, college valedictorian and wannabe documentarian. Lelaina spent her college years getting drunk, getting high and still making it to class on time and getting good grades. Most of Lelaina's time is spent behind a camera where she has been documenting the lives of her closest friends including Vickie (Janeane Garofalo), a manager at The Gap, Sammy (Steve Zahn), a closeted gay man, closeted at least to his family, and Troy (Ethan Hawke), Lelaina's on again, off again, best friend and flirting partner. We get to see plenty of Lelaina's supposed documentary and what we see does not communicate any serious attempt at documentary filmmaking. It's an entirely facile representation of someone's dream of making movies and it gets Reality Bites off to a deeply inauthentic start that doesn't get any better from there. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review Driveaway Dolls

Driveaway Dolls (2024)

Directed by Ethan Coen

Written by Ethan Coen, Tricia Cooke 

Starring Margaret Qualley, Geraldine Viswanathan, Colman Domingo, Matt Damon, Bill Camp, Pedro Pascal

Release Date February 23rd, 2024 

Published February 23rd, 2024 

Driveaway Dolls is one of the most sex-positive, pro-LGBTQ movies I have ever seen and I love it. Driveaway Dolls is a refreshingly frank and very funny movie that recalls last years Bottoms with a hint of Raising Arizona for good measure. That last part, obviously, comes from the fact that Driveaway Dolls is a rare solo directorial effort from one of the Coen Brothers. Working with screenwriter Tricia Cooke, the comic sensibilities of a classic Coen Brothers take on a modern, LGBTQ friendly sensibility that makes the whole film feel fresh, even as the movie is set in 1999. 

Driveaway Dolls stars Geraldine Viswanathan as Marian and Margaret Qualley as Marian's best friend, Jamie. The two could not be more different. Jamie is uptight and sexually repressed, while Jamie seeks sex as if it were her profession. As we join the story, Jamie is in the midst of cheating on her girlfriend, Sukie (Beanie Feldstein) and thus, getting kicked out of her apartment. As for Marian, she's grown weary of life in New York and plans to escape to Tallahasse and the loving arms of her aunt. 

With nowhere to live and nothing better to do, Jamie decides that she's going to Tallahassee with Marian, despite not being invited. Jamie however, has a way to get them there cheap. The two go to Clancy's Driveaways, owned by the gruff but lovable, Clancy (Bill Camp). Just as the girls are arriving, Clancy has finished a phone call. He is to give two people a specific car to take to Tallahassee and since Marian and Jamie happen to be going to Tallahassee, Clancy assumes they are the ones taking the car. 

Find my full length review at Pride.Media 

Movie Review Ordinary Angels

Ordinary Angels (2024) 

Directed by Jon Gunn 

Written by Meg Tilly, Kelly Fremon Craig

Starring Hilary Swank, Alan Ritchson, Nancy Travis, Amy Acker, Tamala Jones 

Release Date February 23rd, 2024 

Published February 20th, 2024 

Okay, fine, I admit it, I cried... hard. I cried. Watching the movie Ordinary Angels made me weep. I'm in my late 40s and I am far more in touch with my emotions than ever before. So, perhaps, that may explain a little why such a desperately conventional movie touched me so deeply that I had to cry. Ordinary Angels is exactly the kind of movie that is constructed to extract tears from the audience. It's a machine that sucks tears from your face whether you are compelled to give up the tears or not. And yet, my tears came not from the forced nature of the plot about an imperiled, adorable 5 year old girl, but from genuinely overwhelmed by the kindness that people are capable of when properly motivated. 

I'm sure that if I did further research I would find that the term 'Based on a True Story' has been abused to the usual degree but regardless, the film does show the most emotional moment of the story as it happened via some pre-credits, archival news footage, and that's going to have to be enough for me. This is a mostly true story about a family that suffered beyond anything normal. After struggling to get pregnant and struggling to give birth, Theresa Schmitt (Amy Acker), passed away just two years after her second daughter, Michelle was born. Just three years after this, Michelle herself fell ill and needed a liver transplant to survive. 

Drowning in debt and lost in grief, Ed Schmitt struggled to keep his family afloat with the help of his mother, Barbara (Nancy Travis). Then, a strange sort of miracle happened in the form of Sharon Stevens (Hilary Swank). A tornado of a personality, Sharon saw the family's story in a newspaper, how their mother had passed away and how Michelle needed a liver transplant and Sharon threw herself into action. At first, Sharon launched a fundraiser at her hair salon, co-owned with her best friend, played by Tamala Jones. This fundraiser brought in more than $3000 dollars but Sharon sensed that this would not be enough. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Classic Movie Review 8 Seconds

8 Seconds (1994) 

Directed by John G. Avildsen

Written by Monte Merrick

Starring Luke Perry, Stephen Baldwin, Cynthia Geary, James Rebhorn

Release Date February 25th, 1994 

Published February 27th, 2024 

8 Seconds is a painfully boring film. The mostly true story of famed bull rider, Lane Frost, played by Luke Perry, 8 Seconds is a by the numbers sports movie with all the innovation and excitement of a damp rag. Bull Riding is a sport, of sorts. It takes a great deal of dedication and very strong hands. It also requires the bull to be basically tortured. Controversial opinion, if your sport requires an opponent that doesn't want to be your opponent, to the point where they may kill just to get you to leave them be, it's not really a competition, it's animal cruelty with judges, points, and a time. 

So, yeah, I wasn't really the audience for a schmaltzy, dizzying, dimwitted movie like 8 Seconds. Lane Frost died tragically young and, as demonstrated in 8 Seconds, his accomplishments were relatively limited. He was a multiple time champion of his sport and was kind to children. Lovely qualities that are at odd with the moody, broody, young man who could turn on a dime and be cruel to his loyal and loving wife, Kellie (Cynthia Geary), who takes the brunt of Lane's unpredictable mood swings, often related to his anger toward his father, Clyde, a man who cannot tell his son that he loves him. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media