Blind
Directed by Michael Mailer
Written by John Buffalo Mailer, Diane Fisher
Starring Alec Baldwin, Demi Moore
Release Date July 14th, 2017
In the vast landscape of cinematic experiences, where masterpieces and mediocrities coexist, there emerges an occasional anomaly that defies categorization, a film so remarkably and incomprehensibly awful that it transcends the boundaries of conventional criticism. "Blind," a 2017 film directed by Michael Mailer, stands as a testament to this cinematic aberration, a work of such profound ineptitude that it can comfortably share the stage with the likes of Tommy Wiseau's "The Room" and not feel out of place.
"Blind" is a cinematic train wreck of epic proportions, a film that squanders the talents of formerly big-name stars Alec Baldwin and Demi Moore, reducing them to amateurs through a script, editing, and direction that can only be described as amateurish at best and intentionally incompetent at worst. The film's narrative centers on Bill Oakland, a once-famed novelist rendered blind by a tragic car accident that claimed the life of his wife. Five years later, he's a bitter, disillusioned college writing professor who spends his days berating volunteers who come to read to him the work of his students. Bill's life takes an unexpected turn when he encounters Suzanne Dutchman, the wife of a Bernie Madoff-esque con man serving time behind bars.
While this synopsis may suggest a straightforward narrative, "Blind" is anything but. The film's script, penned by first-time screenwriter Diane Fisher, is a labyrinth of bewildering dialogue and nonsensical character interactions. Actors deliver their lines with a stilted awkwardness that suggests they've never uttered words before, while characters engage in exchanges that defy the norms of human interaction.
The film's supporting cast is equally perplexing. Characters are introduced and discarded with a haphazardness that suggests they were borrowed from other films and had to be returned in a hurry. One such character, a young aspiring writer who seeks Bill's mentorship, appears as if plucked from a bad remake of "Finding Forrester," only to vanish without a trace after serving his expository purpose.
Dylan McDermott's portrayal of Demi Moore's husband, a stock manipulator with a thick Queens accent, is a masterclass in expositional dialogue. McDermott's character narrates his every thought and action, leaving nothing to the audience's imagination. This penchant for overt exposition extends to most of the film's characters, who seem incapable of interacting without explaining their relationships and motivations to each other and the audience.
The film's visual language is equally disorienting. Scenes are edited with a jarring abruptness, creating a sense of disjointedness that mirrors the narrative's incoherence. The cinematography is uninspired, relying on clichéd close-ups and awkward camera angles that fail to capture any sense of intimacy or emotional depth.
One particularly cringe-worthy scene involves Demi Moore giving Alec Baldwin a shave. The scene, intended to be intimate and sensual, is rendered unintentionally comedic by the stilted dialogue and the palpable lack of chemistry between the two actors. Baldwin's character's leering remarks about Moore's childhood experiences with her father add a layer of creepiness to the scene, while the camera's erratic movements and the use of an obviously dull razor only serve to heighten the sense of absurdity.
In the annals of cinematic misfires, "Blind" stands as a monument to incompetence, a film so profoundly awful that it transcends the boundaries of conventional criticism. It is a cinematic experience that must be seen to be believed, a testament to the power of bad filmmaking to both bewilder and amuse in equal measure.
