Music Biopic Week: Rocketman (2019) — The Dream That Became Elton John


A Biopic That Dares to Dream

Taron Egerton Becomes Elton’s Reflection

The Complicated Friendship at the Heart of It All

Villains, Lovers, and Parents Through Elton’s Eyes

A Jukebox of Emotion

Final Thoughts



31 Days of Horror: Movie Review:Bug (2007) – Madness, Paranoia, and the Descent of Ashley Judd

The Lost Stardom of Ashley Judd

A Descent into Madness

The Horror of Connection

Friedkin’s Final Great Descent

Final Thoughts

Music Biopic Week: Ray (2004) — Jamie Foxx’s Electrifying Transformation into a Legend


The Bridge Between Musical Eras

A Life Told in Flashback and Rhythm

Inside the Studio: Capturing the Genius

Jamie Foxx: More Than an Impression

Where the Film Stumbles

A Masterpiece of Performance

Final Verdict

The Cave (2005) – A Soggy, Sinking Creature Feature

 

  
By Sean Patrick

Originally Published: August 27, 2005 | Updated for Blog: June 2025


🎬 Movie Information

  • Title: The Cave

  • Release Date: August 26, 2005

  • Director: Bruce Hunt

  • Writers: Michael Steinberg, Tegan West

  • Starring: Cole Hauser, Morris Chestnut, Eddie Cibrian, Lena Headey, Piper Perabo

  • Genre: Creature Feature / Sci-Fi Horror

  • Runtime: 97 minutes


🧭 The Premise


Did you know that cave diver is a legitimate profession? I didn’t. It sounds more like something from a long-lost Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode than a real job. That makes The Cave even more frustrating—it takes this fascinating concept and flushes it into the depths of derivative monster movie mediocrity.


The plot follows a crew of expert cave divers, led by Cole Hauser, who are hired to explore a recently uncovered underground cave system beneath a ruined Eastern European church. Naturally, it’s cursed. As they descend, the divers are picked off one by one by unseen creatures that look like the leftovers from a rejected Alien vs. Predator storyboard.


🎭 Performances: Cardboard Characters and Confused Casting


Cole Hauser leads the cast, continuing his puzzling ascension to top billing after Paparazzi. His character is generic, but he’s hardly the weakest link. That honor might belong to Eddie Cibrian, who delivers a performance so blank it’s like he wandered in from a toothpaste commercial.


Morris Chestnut reprises a role eerily similar to his turn in Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid, and again, his talents are wasted. Piper Perabo, once a rising star after Coyote Ugly, is mostly background decoration here. Lena Headey fares slightly better, but that’s not saying much.


Worst of all, the film can’t even keep its characters straight. At one point, Chestnut and Cibrian’s characters appear to swap names mid-scene. And poor Daniel Dae Kim, pre-Lost, doesn’t even get a proper character—just “that guy in the background.”


🌊 The Good Stuff: Underwater Cinematography


There is one area where The Cave deserves praise: the underwater cinematography. Ross Emery’s work behind the camera, along with underwater unit director Wes Skiles, delivers crisp, clean visuals. The cave diving scenes look authentic and immersive, and the scuba equipment—according to a friend of mine who dives professionally—is top-tier.


If only the story above the surface had the same polish.


🧟‍♂️ A Monster Mashup That Lacks Bite


The Cave wants to be Alien but ends up more like Deep Rising meets Mimic on a bad day. It’s a creature feature checklist: claustrophobic setting, isolated team, mysterious organism, body count. But what made Alien great—character tension, smart direction, iconic design—is sorely missing.


The plot is threadbare, the dialogue is expositional, and the monsters are mostly hidden (likely to mask underwhelming CGI). There’s no tension, no build-up, and no reason to care when characters start disappearing.


💬 Final Thoughts


Creature features don’t have to be smart, but they do need personality. The Cave offers little more than pretty underwater shots and a few cheap jump scares. It’s a derivative dive into tired tropes and wasted talent.


This is the kind of movie Mystery Science Theater 3000 was made for. I found myself daydreaming about Mike Nelson, Tom Servo, and Crow T. Robot tearing this thing apart. That would have been far more entertaining than anything The Cave offers in its 97 minutes.


⭐ Rating: 1.5 out of 5


A few cool visuals can’t save this wet blanket of a horror-thriller. Skip it unless you’re an underwater cinematography enthusiast—or a cave diver in search of some unintentional comedy.


Movie Review: 3:10 to Yuma (2007) – A Masterful Modern Western


James Mangold’s 3:10 to Yuma (2007) is a gritty, muscular remake of the 1957 classic, itself based on Elmore Leonard’s short story. Starring Christian Bale and Russell Crowe, this modern western blends sharp psychological tension with thrilling shootouts. While Mangold had already shown he could tackle intimate drama (*Walk the Line*) and noir-ish thrillers (*Copland*), here he proves his hand at pure genre craftsmanship, creating a western for the 21st century that feels both fresh and timeless.

The premise is elegantly simple: down-on-his-luck rancher Dan Evans (Christian Bale) agrees to escort notorious outlaw Ben Wade (Russell Crowe) to catch the 3:10 train to Yuma prison. Wade’s gang, led by his feral right-hand man Charlie Prince (Ben Foster), is in hot pursuit. As the journey unfolds, what begins as a simple mission becomes a battle of wills, with Evans' integrity and Wade’s enigmatic morality clashing in fascinating ways.

  • Performances: Russell Crowe oozes charm and menace as Ben Wade, giving one of his finest performances. Christian Bale plays the straight-laced Dan Evans with quiet desperation and deep moral conflict. Ben Foster nearly steals the show with his volatile, unpredictable turn as Charlie Prince.
  • Direction: James Mangold strikes gold. His pacing is sharp, the action explosive, and his eye for character dynamics masterful. He keeps the film rooted in classic western structure while modernizing the emotional texture.
  • Dialogue: The script crackles with tension. The exchanges between Wade and Evans elevate the film far beyond shootouts. Their moral sparring is the real duel.
  • Cinematography & Design: The landscapes are dusty and expansive, and the production design evokes a lived-in, grimy Old West without ever looking artificial.
  • Stretching believability: Some might balk at the code of honor the film ultimately leans into, or the occasionally mythic sense of manhood. But for genre fans, that’s part of the appeal.
  • Supporting characters underused: While Peter Fonda’s presence as a grizzled bounty hunter is welcome, a few other characters don’t get much depth.

One of the most quietly riveting scenes unfolds over dinner at Dan Evans’ home. As Wade dines with the Evans family, a subtle power play takes place. Wade flirts—without overtly doing so—with Evans’ wife (Gretchen Mol). The tension in the room simmers below the surface. Mol’s performance is brilliant in its restraint, her flushed cheeks and nervous glances revealing volumes. Crowe exudes quiet confidence. Mangold shoots the scene in tight, intimate frames, drawing the characters closer even as nothing explicit is said. It’s a masterclass in subtext and tension.

3:10 to Yuma is a masterwork—brimming with tension, grit, and emotional depth. It’s not just about guns and grit; it’s about what makes a man, how far a person will go to reclaim self-respect, and whether even the worst men can surprise you. Mangold’s assured direction, Crowe’s devilish charisma, and Bale’s slow-burning intensity combine to create a modern classic. This is one western remake that not only justifies its existence—it surpasses the original in many ways.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars


What’s your favorite modern western? Drop a comment below with your thoughts on 3:10 to Yuma and let me know if you prefer this or the 1957 original!

Enjoyed this review? Check out more Western movie reviews here.

Movie Review: Fantastic Four (2015) – A Superhero Reboot That Falls Apart

Fantastic Four is a 2015 superhero film directed by Josh Trank. It stars Miles Teller, Kate Mara, Michael B. Jordan, and Jamie Bell as the iconic Marvel team. A dark, serious-minded reboot of the comic book classic, the film reimagines the team's origin but struggles with tone, pacing, and cohesion.

Plot Summary

Reed Richards (Miles Teller) and Ben Grimm (Jamie Bell) invent a prototype matter transporter that opens a portal to a parallel dimension. After being recruited by scientist Franklin Storm, Reed joins forces with Johnny Storm (Michael B. Jordan), Sue Storm (Kate Mara), and Victor Von Doom (Toby Kebbell) to explore the other world. But a catastrophic accident mutates them all. Now imbued with unstable powers, the group must confront personal demons, military interests, and an old friend-turned-enemy threatening to destroy Earth.

What Works
  • Performance: The cast—especially Michael B. Jordan and Jamie Bell—show promise, even if the script underuses them.
  • Direction: Josh Trank brings an initially intriguing, grounded approach to the material, aiming for a sci-fi tone reminiscent of *Chronicle*.
  • Potential: The film hints at compelling character dynamics, especially Ben’s tragic transformation and Reed’s guilt.
What Doesn't Work
  • Pacing: The origin story drags on for too long, with the team only coming together in the final minutes.
  • Visuals: Action sequences are muddled by flat, dark cinematography that undermines excitement.
  • Script & Structure: The film feels disjointed, with last-minute reshoots (and Kate Mara’s wig) emblematic of behind-the-scenes turmoil.
  • Tone: Grim and joyless, the film forgets the fun and family dynamic that made the Fantastic Four beloved in the first place.
Final Thoughts

Fantastic Four (2015) is a cautionary tale of studio interference, creative clashes, and missed potential. Despite a talented cast and a unique approach, it collapses under the weight of competing visions and an incoherent final act. This one is best remembered as a franchise misfire rather than a faithful adaptation.

Rating

Rating: 1.5 out of 5 stars


What did you think of Fantastic Four (2015)? Leave a comment below or share your thoughts on what went wrong with this reboot!

If you enjoyed this review, check out my takes on other superhero movies here.

Movie Review: Suspiria (2018) – A Bold, Bewildering Witch Horror Reinvention

 

Overview Suspiria is a 2018 arthouse horror film directed by Luca Guadagnino. It stars Dakota Johnson, Tilda Swinton, Mia Goth, and Chloë Grace Moretz. This remake of Dario Argento’s cult classic follows a young American dancer who joins a mysterious Berlin dance company, only to uncover a dark supernatural conspiracy lurking beneath its polished surface. Plot Summary Susie Bannion (Dakota Johnson), a former Quaker from Ohio, travels to 1977 Berlin to audition for a prestigious dance academy run by the enigmatic Madame Blanc (Tilda Swinton). Despite having no formal acceptance, Susie’s hauntingly intense audition earns her a spot at the school—right after the unexplained disappearance of another student, Patricia (Chloë Grace Moretz). Patricia had been seeing a psychiatrist, Dr. Klemperer (also Swinton, under transformative makeup), warning him about a coven of witches operating from within the academy. As Susie rises in the ranks, another student, Sara (Mia Goth), begins to suspect something sinister beneath the school’s facade, leading to a surreal and blood-soaked climax. What Works
  • Performance: Tilda Swinton is mesmerizing in multiple roles, especially as Madame Blanc and the aging psychiatrist. Mia Goth gives a grounded and emotionally rich performance that anchors much of the mystery.
  • Direction: Luca Guadagnino delivers bold, operatic visuals and immersive atmosphere. Sayombhu Mukdeeprom’s cinematography crafts a cold, washed-out aesthetic that contrasts the original’s neon palette while maintaining a hypnotic beauty.
  • Tension or Themes: The film weaves cryptic themes of female power, guilt, duality, and historical trauma. Its partition-era Berlin setting adds layers of political unease, mirroring the fractured psyche of its characters.
  • The narrative is opaque and intentionally disorienting, which may alienate viewers seeking clarity or conventional horror scares.
  • The final act is visually spectacular but baffling in meaning; the gore and symbolism escalate without a clear thematic payoff.
Final Thoughts Suspiria is a visually stunning and intellectually impenetrable reinvention of a horror classic. It will likely divide audiences—some will be entranced by its haunting artistry, others frustrated by its elusive meanings. This is a film that dares you to decode it… or surrender to the dance. Rating ⭐ Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

What did you think of Suspiria? Leave a comment below or share your favorite moment from the film!

If you enjoyed this review, check out my takes on other horror movies here.

Movie Review: The Medallion (2003) – Jackie Chan’s Immortal Misfire

 

Overview

The Medallion is a 2003 action-comedy film directed by Gordon Chan. Starring Jackie Chan, Lee Evans, Claire Forlani, and Julian Sands, it tells the story of a Hong Kong cop entangled in a supernatural conspiracy involving a mystical medallion.

Plot Summary

Jackie Chan plays Eddie Yong, a Hong Kong cop on a mission to rescue a young boy with mysterious powers who has been kidnapped by the villainous Snakehead (Julian Sands). Alongside bumbling Interpol agent Arthur (Lee Evans) and love interest Nicole (Claire Forlani), Eddie's quest takes him across the globe. When a daring rescue goes awry, Eddie is killed—only to be resurrected by the medallion’s mystical powers, granting him super strength and immortality. However, Snakehead has also tapped into the medallion’s power, setting the stage for a supernatural showdown.

What Works

  • Action Sequences: Jackie Chan’s early fight scenes display his signature charm and acrobatics, bringing energy to otherwise flat sequences.
  • Physical Comedy: Chan’s physicality occasionally shines through, particularly in his interactions with Evans and his trademark stunts.

What Doesn’t Work

  • Script and Dialogue: Clunky, unfunny lines weigh down the story, forcing Chan to wrestle with awkward jokes and poor humor.
  • Direction: Gordon Chan’s first western feature struggles with tone and pacing, creating a choppy and uneven film that fails to blend action with comedy.
  • Visual Effects: The final showdown’s CGI-laden sequences feel out of place compared to Chan’s naturalistic fighting style.

Final Thoughts

The Medallion is a misfire that tries to merge Jackie Chan’s martial arts prowess with Hollywood’s obsession with supernatural plots and buddy-comedy formulas. Fans of Chan’s Hong Kong classics may enjoy the fight scenes, but the clunky script and ill-fitting tone make this one a forgettable entry in his filmography. Have you seen The Medallion? Let me know what you think in the comments below!

Rating

Rating: 2.5 out of 5 stars

Movie Review: Around the World in 80 Days (2004) – Jackie Chan’s Globe-Trotting Adventure

 

Overview

Around the World in 80 Days is a 2004 action-adventure comedy directed by Frank Coraci. Starring Jackie Chan, Steve Coogan, and Cecile de France, this remake of the 1956 Best Picture winner follows inventor Phileas Fogg as he attempts to circumnavigate the globe in less than 80 days with the help of his clever valet Passepartout.

Plot Summary

Phileas Fogg (Steve Coogan) is a brilliant but eccentric inventor whose ambitious creations frustrate the conservative Royal Academy of Science. After a bet with Lord Kelvin (Jim Broadbent) that he can travel the world in under 80 days, Fogg sets off with his new valet Passepartout (Jackie Chan), who is secretly on a mission to return a stolen artifact to his village in China. Along the way, they are pursued by the villainous General Fang (Karen Mok) and the bumbling Inspector Fix (Ewan Bremner). They’re joined by the spirited French artist Monique La Roche (Cecile de France), leading to globe-trotting adventures, daring stunts, and romantic entanglements.

What Works

  • Jackie Chan’s Action: Chan’s signature stunts, including the bench fight and Statue of Liberty showdown, are highlights.
  • Visual Charm: The film captures a playful, colorful globe-trotting spirit with fun locations and sets.
  • Monique’s Energy: Cecile de France adds charisma and wit to balance Steve Coogan’s reserved Fogg.

What Doesn’t Work

  • Steve Coogan’s Fogg: Coogan’s straight-laced portrayal feels flat, lacking the spark of his usual roles.
  • Uneven Pacing: Some slow spots drag the film down, especially for younger viewers.
  • Contrived Plot: The story relies on clichés and conveniences, with little regard for Jules Verne’s original work.

Final Thoughts

Around the World in 80 Days isn’t a faithful adaptation of Jules Verne’s classic, but it’s a colorful, family-friendly adventure with Jackie Chan’s trademark action-comedy charm. While it may try the patience of purists, it offers breezy entertainment for those seeking a lighthearted globe-trotting romp.

Rating

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Movie Review: The Forbidden Kingdom (2008) – Jackie Chan & Jet Li’s First Team-Up

 

The Forbidden Kingdom is a 2008 fantasy adventure directed by Rob Minkoff. It stars martial arts legends Jackie Chan and Jet Li, alongside Michael Angarano. The film follows a Boston teen who finds himself transported to ancient China, tasked with returning a magical staff to its rightful owner while navigating a world of kung fu and folklore.

Michael Angarano plays Jason, a kung fu movie enthusiast from Boston. After discovering a mysterious golden staff in his favorite Chinatown pawn shop run by Hop (Jackie Chan), Jason gets caught up in a robbery gone wrong. When he’s knocked unconscious, he wakes up in ancient China. There, he meets Lu Yan (Chan) and learns the staff once belonged to the legendary Monkey King, who was trapped in stone by the envious Jade Emperor (Colin Chou). With the help of Golden Sparrow (Yifei Liu) and the Silent Monk (Jet Li), Jason must return the staff to free the Monkey King and find a way home.

  • Performance: Jackie Chan and Jet Li’s dynamic, particularly their brief fight scene, is a standout. Chan’s humor and Li’s stoicism balance well.
  • Direction: Rob Minkoff excels in choreographing aerial wire work and lighthearted fantasy, capturing the spirit of classic kung fu films.
  • Tension or Themes: The film blends family-friendly adventure with traditional martial arts motifs, offering an accessible gateway into kung fu cinema.
  • The plot feels clunky and overly expository, especially when delving into Monkey King mythology.
  • Michael Angarano’s performance lacks charisma, and the story leans too heavily on familiar tropes.
  • The dialogue can be wooden, and the stakes never feel fully engaging.

The Forbidden Kingdom isn’t the ultimate Jackie Chan–Jet Li showdown fans might have hoped for, but it’s an enjoyable family-friendly fantasy adventure with enough martial arts action to entertain. While the story falters, the film shines during its high-flying, gravity-defying fight scenes. Worth a watch for fans of kung fu cinema and those looking for light adventure fare.

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Film Review: 13 Conversations About One Thing (2001)

Reviewed by Sean | Originally written: November 21, 2002 | Updated for seanatthemovies.blogspot.com


When the Conversation Goes Over Your Head


Don’t you hate it when someone tells a joke and you’re the only one who doesn’t get it? That’s exactly how I felt watching 13 Conversations About One Thing. After reading glowing reviews from critics and viewers alike, I’m left wondering—what did I miss?


From the minds of Jill and Karen Sprecher, the duo behind 1997’s Clockwatchers, this indie drama interweaves the stories of several New Yorkers grappling with fate, regret, and the elusive pursuit of happiness. It’s a film full of ideas—but for me, those ideas never quite landed.


Plot Overview: Intersections of Fate and Fragility


The film’s structure is a mosaic of loosely connected lives, each marked by a defining moment:

  • Matthew McConaughey plays a cocky, self-righteous lawyer who celebrates a courtroom victory at a bar where he meets a depressed insurance investigator, played by Alan Arkin. The man shares a tale about the fleeting nature of happiness. McConaughey shrugs it off, only to be involved in a hit-and-run accident on his way home—an event that leaves him morally rattled.

  • The victim is Beatrice (Clea DuVall), a kind-hearted cleaning woman whose sunny outlook is shattered in the aftermath. Her recovery challenges her relationships and sense of purpose.

  • John Turturro plays a college professor who abruptly leaves his wife (Amy Irving) in search of something deeper than contentment. His storyline runs parallel to the others, though the connection feels tenuous until the film’s final moments.


Each character’s arc reflects how one unexpected encounter or accident can fracture a life, and how our perception of happiness can shift in an instant.


Style Over Clarity?


13 Conversations About One Thing is structured like a puzzle. The film delivers a series of “Aha!” moments—revelations where storylines connect or repeat motifs across characters. Dialogue is often stylized, hinting that what’s said will echo later. Something uttered by Turturro’s character shows up again in Beatrice’s behavior. It’s clever on paper, but the execution feels forced.


The film also employs a non-linear timeline that left me more confused than intrigued. With so many secondary characters orbiting the four leads, it’s easy to lose track of the finer narrative threads. Important details are easy to miss unless you’re watching with intense focus. Case in point: Roger Ebert, in his glowing review, mentions Turturro’s obsession with routine—an aspect I completely overlooked. And apparently, that detail was key to understanding his character.


Final Thoughts: Searching for Meaning


Here’s the thing—I didn’t dislike 13 Conversations About One Thing. I just didn’t get it. I understood the central theme: that happiness, no matter how small, is a universal pursuit. But that’s such a broad idea. I kept hoping there would be more, a deeper message or emotional anchor. For me, it never quite materialized.


Still, I can’t deny this: the movie sparked great conversations. After watching it with friends, we talked about it for hours. Not about its message, necessarily—but about how baffled we all were. And maybe that’s the point. Maybe the movie isn’t about answers. Maybe it’s about asking the right questions.


If you love intricate, puzzle-like storytelling with philosophical overtones, you might find meaning here that I missed. But if you’re looking for emotional clarity or a satisfying resolution, be prepared to leave the theater scratching your head.


Verdict: 2.5 out of 5 stars


💬 A thoughtful, well-acted film that left me lost in its conversations. Great discussion fodder—but not a personal favorite.

Join the Conversation


Did 13 Conversations About One Thing speak to you in a way it didn’t for me? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Leave a comment below or connect with me on social media. And if you enjoy honest, reflective film reviews of indie gems and forgotten classics, be sure to follow Sean at the Movies for more!

Final Destination 3D (2009) Review – When Gore Meets Gimmickry | Sean at the Movies

Final Destination 3D (2009) Review – When Gore Meets Gimmickry

Directed by: David R. Ellis

Written by: Eric Bress

Starring: Bobby Campo, Shantel VanSanten, Mykelti Williamson

Release Date: August 28, 2009

Originally Published: August 28, 2009

A Familiar Formula, Now in 3D

It was George Carlin who once pointed out that “Final Destination” is a redundant phrase—after all, every destination is final. Yet in 2009, the franchise brought us The Final Destination, the fourth film in the series, wrapped in shiny new 3D packaging.

The premise remains the same: attractive young people narrowly escape a horrific mass-casualty event thanks to a psychic vision, only to be hunted down by death in creatively gruesome ways.

Exploding Racetracks and Predictable Mayhem

This time, our “final destination” is a NASCAR stadium, where Nick (Bobby Campo) foresees a fiery catastrophe. He manages to save several people, only to find that Death isn’t so easily cheated. One by one, the survivors meet their ends in elaborate, over-the-top sequences.

Highlights (or lowlights) include a flaming tire decapitation, a man dragged down the street while on fire, and a woman ground to pieces in an escalator. The audience I saw it with laughed like they were watching a stand-up special. And honestly? That might have been the right reaction.

Where's the Horror?

There was a time when gore meant something in horror. In films like Saw, death served a purpose, guided by the twisted but coherent philosophy of Jigsaw. Here, there’s no such structure. Just flying organs and splattered CGI.

I still love horror. I’m not above enjoying a splatterfest (*My Bloody Valentine 3D* was a blast). But there’s a difference between gory fun and lazy storytelling. *Final Destination 3D* confuses one for the other.

Final Thoughts

For fans of the franchise or gorehounds looking for a shallow thrill, *Final Destination 3D* might satisfy. But for anyone who craves actual suspense, stakes, or a coherent idea behind the carnage, this one’s a miss. A gimmick in search of a movie.

Rating: ★★☆☆☆ (2 out of 5)


Tags:

Final Destination 3D review, Final Destination series, horror movie reviews, 2009 horror films, Bobby Campo, David R. Ellis, gory horror movies, bad horror sequels, 3D horror movies, horror franchise fatigue, Sean at the Movies reviews

Revisiting Tobe Hooper’s The Funhouse – A Carnival of Horror and Disappointment Date: May 14, 2025

“A Carnival of Missed Opportunities: Revisiting Tobe Hooper’s Uneven Cult Slasher”

Tobe Hooper is one of my favorite horror filmmakers of all time. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre isn’t just a masterpiece—it’s a cultural landmark. But not every great director bats a thousand, and The Funhouse (1981) is proof of that.


In my latest review, I dive into this peculiar carnival-set slasher, now considered a cult classic by some, but still a tough sell for me. While the final act brings some much-needed energy and gore, the road there is long, meandering, and far too slow. It’s a film full of missed potential, weighed down by thin characters and a script that stalls for far too long.


That said, The Funhouse is far from worthless. Hooper’s love of old-school horror shows through in nods to FrankensteinPsychoFreaks, and more. There’s even an early homage to Halloween. It’s a movie that wants to be both a tribute and a terror ride—but struggles to deliver on either.


You can hear more of my thoughts on The Funhouse in the newest episode of the I Hate Critics Movie Review Podcast, available wherever you get your podcasts. We also upload full episodes to our YouTube channel and post trailers, movie news, and more on Facebook.


Read the full review on Vocal: [Horror.Media]

Follow me on Twitter: @PodcastSean

Find the podcast on Twitter: @CriticsPod and anywhere you listen to podcasts. 


Let me know what you think of The Funhouse. Cult classic? Underrated gem? Or a swing and a miss from one of horror’s most important voices?



New Review on Vocal: “Shadow Force” (2025)

New Review on Vocal: Shadow Force (2025)

Posted May 13, 2025 by Sean Patrick – Sean at the Movies

If you’ve ever wondered how a solid, stylish action film can vanish at the box office before anyone notices, look no further than Shadow Force. The new film from director Joe Carnahan stars Kerry Washington and Omar Sy as ex-CIA assassins turned fugitive parents—and despite being packed with thrilling action, emotional beats, and even a Lionel Richie joke that works, the movie was seemingly doomed from the moment someone gave it that title.

I had a great time watching Shadow Force and even more fun writing about it. This one feels like a throwback in the best way possible: tight direction, great performances, and a totally adorable kid sidekick who might just be a future star. It deserved a better shot in theaters—and definitely a better title.

👉 Read my full review exclusively on Vocal

If you enjoy sharp, stylish action films with heart—and if you can get past the Cannon Films-era title—you might find yourself pleasantly surprised by Shadow Force. I was.

As always, thank you for supporting over 24 years of movie reviews here at Sean at the Movies. You can find over 2,800 reviews in the archive right here on the blog. Be sure to follow me on Twitter @PodcastSean and on BlueSky, and subscribe on Vocal for all my new writing.

  • 🎙️ Listen to me talk movies on the I Hate Critics Movie Review Podcast!
  • 💬 Like what you read? Share the Vocal post, leave a comment, or drop a tip. Your support keeps this going.

Crimson Tide Turns 30 – Why This Nuclear Thriller Still Holds Water

Crimson Tide Turns 30 – Why This Nuclear Thriller Still Holds Water


Posted May 12, 2025 by Sean at the Movies




This week marks the 30th anniversary of Crimson Tide, one of the most gripping military thrillers of the 1990s. Directed by Tony Scott and starring Denzel Washington and Gene Hackman, the film pits two commanding performances against each other in a tense ideological standoff aboard a nuclear submarine.

Crimson Tide turns 30! 

In honor of its anniversary, I’ve published a full review on Vocal diving deep into what makes Crimson Tide still resonate after three decades—its political subtext, powerhouse performances, and that unforgettable scene with the Lipizzaner stallions.

Plus, this film is the subject of our latest I Hate Critics 1995 podcast episode, where Amy watches it for the first time and shares her reactions.

Read the full review here:

Crimson Tide Review on Geeks.Media


If you’re a fan of 90s thrillers, military dramas, or just love watching Denzel Washington and Gene Hackman go head-to-head, this one’s for you.


More reviews and podcast updates coming soon. Thanks for reading!


— Sean



Movie Review: Without a Paddle (2004) – Lost in the Woods and in the Script

Movie Review: Without a Paddle (2004) – Lost in the Woods and in the Script 


Tags Without a Paddle review, Dax Shepard movies, Seth Green comedy, Matthew Lillard film, 2000s buddy comedies, Steven Brill, Burt Reynolds cameo, D.B. Cooper movies, road trip comedies, Hollywood formula films 

 

 Overview

*Without a Paddle* (2004) is a road trip comedy that leans heavily on formula and familiarity. Directed by Steven Brill (of *Little Nicky* and *Mr. Deeds* infamy), it stars Matthew Lillard, Dax Shepard, and Seth Green as three childhood friends reunited by tragedy and launched into a backwoods misadventure that borrows liberally from better films like *City Slickers*, *Road Trip*, and *Deliverance*. The result is a forgettable comedy that coasts on clichés and cameos rather than clever writing.

Plot Summary

Following the death of their adventurous childhood friend Billy, Jerry (Matthew Lillard), Tom (Dax Shepard), and Dan (Seth Green) reunite to fulfill a long-abandoned dream: a canoe trip in search of D.B. Cooper’s lost fortune. What starts as a tribute to friendship and youthful dreams quickly devolves into chaos as the trio gets lost in the Oregon wilderness. Along the way, they face off with an angry bear, a pair of cartoonish redneck drug dealers (played by Ethan Suplee and Abraham Benrubi), a crooked sheriff, and nature itself. Helping—or possibly hindering—them is a grizzled backwoods recluse played by Burt Reynolds, whose appearance seems to serve more as a pop culture wink than an acting choice.

Highlights
  • D.B. Cooper premise: A great idea buried beneath lazy gags and flat execution. The legend of Cooper deserved a better movie.
  • Comedy trio chemistry: While the characters are written as caricatures, Lillard, Shepard, and Green do their best with what little they’re given.
  • Nature scenes: Some of the outdoor cinematography is pleasant—when it’s not being used for slapstick bear chases.
What Doesn’t Work
  • Generic script: The film follows a strict comedy formula, with little originality and no risk-taking.
  • Unseen backstories: The more intriguing lives of the characters—especially the deceased Billy and wild-child Tom—are told, not shown.
  • Burt Reynolds cameo: Played for laughs, but the movie gives him nothing to do except remind you of better films.
  • Lazy writing: Characters are broad stereotypes (the neurotic nerd, the slacker ladies' man, the directionless nice guy) used in place of real development or clever dialogue.
Final Thoughts

While *Without a Paddle* isn’t offensively bad, it’s the kind of comedy that feels engineered by committee rather than inspired by creativity. Screenwriters Mitch Rouse and Jay Leggett crib elements from more successful films without adding anything original to the mix. It’s mildly amusing at times—mostly thanks to reflexive laughs from remembering better movies—but ultimately forgettable. This is the cinematic equivalent of fast food: easy to consume, completely disposable, and barely satisfying.

Rating

Rating: 1.5 out of 5 stars

 Call to Action

Do you think *Without a Paddle* deserves cult status or should it stay forgotten? Leave your thoughts below!

Check out our reviews of early 2000s comedies right here.

Movie Review: X2: X-Men United (2003) – Mutants, Mayhem, and Military Conspiracies

Movie Review: X2: X-Men United (2003) – Mutants, Mayhem, and Military Conspiracies 

Tags X2 movie review, X-Men United, Bryan Singer, Hugh Jackman Wolverine, Alan Cumming Nightcrawler, early 2000s blockbusters, Marvel movies, comic book films, superhero sequels, summer popcorn movies 

 

 Overview

*X2: X-Men United* picks up where 2000’s *X-Men* left off, expanding the story and scale while doubling down on slick action and mutant spectacle. Directed by Bryan Singer, this sequel brings Professor X’s team of super-powered outsiders together with longtime adversary Magneto to fight a common enemy: a rogue military general with sinister plans for all mutantkind. It’s a classic setup for a summer blockbuster—one that delivers well-executed set pieces and enough character moments to keep fans entertained.

Plot Summary

After a mutant named Nightcrawler (Alan Cumming) launches a jaw-dropping attack on the White House, anti-mutant hysteria reignites. General Stryker (Brian Cox), a military hardliner with ties to Wolverine’s mysterious past, uses the incident to push for a strike against Xavier’s School for the Gifted. When Stryker’s forces raid the school, Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) is thrust into a protector role, escaping with several young mutants—including Rogue, Iceman, and Pyro.

As Professor X (Patrick Stewart) and Cyclops (James Marsden) are captured, Storm (Halle Berry) and Jean Grey (Famke Janssen) search for Nightcrawler to understand the reason behind his attack. Eventually, the X-Men must join forces with Magneto (Ian McKellen) and Mystique (Rebecca Romijn-Stamos) to stop Stryker from launching a war that could wipe out all mutants.

Highlights
  • Nightcrawler’s White House attack: A stunning opening sequence that blends teleportation, combat, and high-stakes tension.
  • Wolverine’s humor: Surprisingly, much of the film’s levity comes from Jackman’s gruff mutant in babysitter mode—his banter with the students adds charm.
  • Magneto’s entrance: As always, Ian McKellen makes Magneto a charismatic and dangerous presence. His last-minute rescue of the X-jet crew is a scene-stealer.
  • “Coming out” metaphor: Iceman revealing his powers to his family is handled with subtlety and becomes one of the film’s more resonant emotional beats.
What Doesn’t Work
  • Uneven character focus: While Wolverine gets ample screen time, other characters like Storm and Cyclops still feel underdeveloped.
  • Overstuffed cast: With so many mutants and subplots, it’s hard for each character to make a meaningful impression.
  • Effects overshadowed: While the film’s visuals are strong, they pale in comparison to the then-new *Matrix Reloaded* trailer—ironically shown before the movie.
Final Thoughts

*X2: X-Men United* improves on its predecessor in scope and confidence. It successfully juggles multiple storylines, delivers solid action, and sets the stage for bigger things in the franchise. While not quite in the same league as *Spider-Man* or *Batman*, it’s a polished entry in the superhero genre that knows exactly what kind of crowd-pleasing entertainment it wants to be. Hugh Jackman continues to prove he’s the franchise’s backbone, even if the spotlight dims the more he’s on screen. Overall, a fun and well-crafted sequel that helped cement the X-Men as major players in early 2000s comic book cinema.

Rating

Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars

Call to Action

Did *X2* set the gold standard for early superhero sequels? Let us know in the comments!

Check out our full Marvel movie reviews archive for more mutant mayhem.

Relay (2025) Review: Riz Ahmed and Lily James Can’t Save This Thriller Snoozefest

Relay  Directed by: David Mackenzie Written by: Justin Piasecki Starring: Riz Ahmed, Lily James Release Date: August 22, 2025 Rating: ★☆☆☆☆...