Classic Movie Review Halloween 2

Halloween 2 (1981) 

Directed by Rick Rosenthal 

Written by John Carpenter, Debra Hill 

Starring Jamie Lee Curtis, Donald Pleasance, Dick Warlock 

Release Date October 30th, 1981 

Published October 13th, 2022 

So, Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) and Michael Myers (Dick Warlock) are siblings. So now what? Apparently, the answer to so now what was let's do what we did the first time to ever diminishing returns. Halloween 2 is set on the same night as the original, October 31st, 1978. Michael Myers has been shot by Dr. Loomis (Donald Pleasance), but has managed to escape. Laurie is hurt and deeply traumatized. She's taken to a hospital where they plan to treat her cuts and bruises and give her a good night's sleep with some good drugs. 

Unfortunately for everyone at the hospital, Michael Myers is not one to give up. Even with several bullet wounds, he plans on finding his heretofore unknown sister and killing her for some nebulous reason. But, before he can get to her, he needs to mess about killing randos. this means finding a couple having sex in the hospital therapy tub, ewwwwwww, and nearly melting their skin off before knifing them but good. Yes, sure, death to those who have sex in therapy pools, but this seems like an unnecessary detour for Michael Myers. 

If the end goal is killing Laurie Strode then why is Michael constantly achieving side quests like he's playing GTA? When he gets to the hospital Michael takes the time to sabotage every vehicle in the parking lot. And, in case someone tries to call the authorities whose bullets can't stop him, Michael rips out the phone line. Then he wastes time searching for Laurie Strode by murdering random hospital employees and posing them for best horror effect. This is a Michael Myers trope that always boggles my mind, why does Myers feel the need to pose his victims? 

When you think about it, for a guys whose aesthetic is stoic, stalking, methodical maniac, Michael is rather flamboyant in how he poses his kills. For instance, he murders a nurse by having all of her blood drain out of her in a perfect pool while she sleeps the sleep of death. He stabs another doctor in the eye with a needle and leaves him perfectly posed with the needle in his eye for best horror effect. If you want to have fun, just imagine the effort and time it must take Michael to take and crumple the bodies of victims he doesn't pose into the various hiding places he pushes them into. 

Click here for my full length review of Halloween 2 at Horror.Media. 

Movie Review Halloween 3: Season of the Witch

Halloween 3 Season of the Witch (1982) 

Directed by Tommy Lee Wallace

Written by John Carpenter and Debra Hill 

Starring Tom Atkins, Stacey Nelkin, Dan O'Herlihy 

Release Date October 22nd, 1982 

Published October 14th, 2022 

A Halloween movie without Michael Myers was long the vision of creator John Carpenter. For Carpenter, Michael's story ended in Halloween 2 with a massive ball of fire. So convinced of the death of his creation was Carpenter that he reconceived the entire Halloween franchise to eliminate Michael Myers. But, typical of the character, he could not be killed, only briefly detained. Michael Myers may be limited to a stock footage cameo in Halloween 3: Season of the Witch, but the lack of Michael looms over the whole enterprise. 

Actor Tom Atkins takes up the starring role in Halloween 3: Season of the Witch as drunken doctor, Dr. Dan Chellis. Dan has a bit of a drinking problem and a whole lot of ex-wife problems. Michael, late as usual for a visit with his son and daughter, only to find that his gift of Halloween masks was too little too late. Mom, fearing Dad would forget about his kids at Halloween, took the initiative to buy the hottest Halloween costume of the season, the all new Silver Shamrock series of masks featuring Pumpkins, Witches, and Skeletons. 

After getting paged back to the hospital for some drunken doctoring, Dr. Chellis is accosted by a nearly comatose patient. The patient, thought to be dying wakes up after hearing the Silver Shamrock jingle that plays at various intervals at extraordinary volume, on a nearby television. The patient warns Chellis that the bad guys are coming but he dies before he can elaborate further on the matter. The man's death came at the hands of a cold blooded and powerful assassin. Catching a glimpse of the killer, Dr. Chellis is forced to watch as the murderer douses himself in gasoline, killing himself in a subsequent explosion. 

Following the twin tragedies of the death of his patient and the seeming suicide of his patient's killer, Dr. Chellis needs a drink. He retires for the night to a nearby bar where he is met by Ellie Grimbridge (Stacey Nelkin). Ellie has come to identify her father and she wants answers as to how and why he was killed. She believes that the answer has something to do with the shady company behind the season's most popular Halloween masks, the aforementioned Silver Shamrock. 

From there we are treated to a bizarre and not particularly scary series of events in a company town run by a former joke factory. Dan O'Herlihy plays Conal Cochrane, the man behind the masks of the season and a man dangerous enough to build killer robots in order to protect his plan to kill America's child population with his new line of bestselling masks. And, boy, is this a silly premise for a horror movie. What was anyone who participated in making Halloween 3 Season of the Witch even thinking? 

It's clear that someone, be it John Carpenter, Debra Hill, or director Tommy Lee Wallace were watching far too many Twilight Zone episodes but failing to recall what made The Twilight Zone any good. The Twilight Zone was clever and compact. In a mere 30 minutes, Rod Serling could develop characters we care about give them a strange and intriguing plot for us to puzzle about and get out before the premise ever loses steam. The makers of Halloween 3: Season of the Witch have no such luxury. 

Find my full length review of Halloween 3: Season of the Witch at Horror.Media.

Movie Review Halloween Ends

Halloween Ends (2022) 

Directed by David Gordon Green 

Written by Paul Brad Logan, Danny McBride, Chris Bernier, David Gordon Green 

Starring Jamie Lee Curtis, Andi Matichak, James Jude Courtney 

Release Date October 14th, 2022 

Published October 14th, 2022 

It's called Halloween Ends and I do believe Jamie Lee Curtis when she says this is the last one for her. That said, if Halloween Ends makes money, it won't be long before The Shape, Michael Myers, is haunting theaters again. That reason based cynicism has colored my viewing experience of every Halloween movie. No matter how illogical or unnecessary, the owners of the Halloween Intellectual Property will try and wring more cash out of it. Try as they might to make Halloween Ends appear like an endeavor that isn't merely about cash, the makers of Halloween Ends fail as every Halloween movie fails to escape the cynical calculations of Hollywood branding and marketing. 

Halloween Ends picks up four years after the last time that Michael Myers ran amok in Haddonfield, Illinois. Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) is now living with her granddaughter, Allyson (Andi Matichak). Though she remains alert, Laurie has grown comfortable with Michael having been gone for so long. Now, Laurie is working on her memoirs while patiently waiting for the day Michael may return to her life. That she isn't constantly paranoid is a testament to her toughness. 

Meanwhile, in a bizarre and unnecessary other movie, Rohan Campbell plays Corey Cunningham. Corey is a teenage babysitter who, while watching the child of a rich couple, accidentally kills the child. Labelled as a child killer, even though the kid's death was an accident, Corey is blamed by many and he's become a loner and an outcast, preferring to stay home under the watchful eyes of his parents. When Corey does go out he's harassed by teenagers until Laurie rescues him. Because he's a main character, Laurie takes him to meet her granddaughter and the two form a romance. 

Unfortunately, Corey's haunted past keeps getting in his way until he finally snaps. On the run from his tormentors, Corey stumbles over Michael Myers near death and living in the sewer. For reasons that only the FOUR screenwriters might understand, Michael doesn't kill Corey. Instead, the two briefly become partners in killing. Corey begins luring victims to Michael and then they graduate to Corey and Michael as a killing duo. All the while, Allyson is fooled and charmed by Corey into thinking he's just a haunted bad boy and not a murderous psychopath. 

The addition of the character of Corey is an attempt to refresh the franchise one last time but it doesn't work. Rohan Campbell's whiny performance only leaves you to wonder why a character like Allyson would be attracted to this guy. Corey doesn't drive the plot, the plot pushes him along, uses him as a device and discards him when they are ready to move back to Michael as the main villain. Any time spent with the character of Corey feels like a gigantic waste of time. Instead of refreshing the franchise, the character seems to trip the movie, stall its progress and test our patience. 

Find my full length review of Halloween Ends at Horror.Media