Movie Review The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008) 

Directed by David Fincher 

Written by Eric Roth 

Starring Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett, Mahershala Ali, Taraji P. Henson, Tilda Swinton, Juliette Binoche

Release Date December 25th, 2008

Published December 23rd, 2008

It is extraordinary what technology can do in the movies these days. In The Curious Case of Benjamin Button 45 year old Brad Pitt ages from a little old man to a youth ripe teenager before our eyes. It's stunning really and yet still remote. That is the nature of modern special effects. For all the genius and wonder, technology will never be able to replace one person relating to another on the most human levels.

Brad Pitt does what he can with the role that is given him in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. It's unfortunate that beyond the technology, there isn't a whole lot there. In 1918 a baby boy was born and seemed as if he should have died. He was aged, infirmed. He had cataracts and arthritis. He was abandoned by his father on the doorstep of an old folks home where the kindly nurse Queenie (Taraji P. Henson) took him in. He wasn't supposed to live through the night.

Several years later Benjamin is a little boy with all of the wonder of youth but he looked like a man in his 60's. When Benjamin was 13 years old he met Daisy Fuller. She was a few years younger but her keen intuition told her that Benjamin was somehow no different than herself. They became friends and every weekend, when Daisy came to visit her grandmother, they would play together.

When he turned 17 Benjamin took a job on a tugboat under Captain Mike (Jared Harris). Benjamin went all over the globe. In Russia he had his first kiss. He went on to war and eventually back to New Orleans. He and Daisy would reconnect and their love story is the centerpiece of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

The most curious thing about Benjamin Button is that nothing much interesting happens to him. Yes, he went around the world but we don't see much of his travels. We see him in Russia but most of those scenes are spent in a hotel lobby. He went to war and was part of a notably sad incident but if you are waiting to see it play out as an aspect of his life and you will be left waiting awhile.

As written, the character of Benjamin Button is a blank screen in front of which colorful characters pass and are soon forgotten. Brad Pitt's contribution is his handsome visage which begins weathered under heavy makeup and CGI and slowly becomes more perfect and handsome. I know some will not require much more of Mr. Pitt but I did. This is a character filled with possibility and Mr. Pitt doesn't seem to explore the space. He remains a blank screen, only becoming active in a few scenes where he and Cate Blanchett send each other smoldering gazes. They are smoking hot together but again, I needed something more.

Cate Blanchett on the other hand smolders and suffers and delivers the one truly in depth performance in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Under extensive amounts of makeup, Blanchett and Julia Ormond as her daughter slowly recall the story of Benjamin from his diary. Blanchett is then seen as a young ballerina with porcelain skin that would shame Edward Cullen in sunlight. Blanchett is radiant and carrying almost all of the film's dramatic burden she damn near makes the movie work. Sadly, Pitt's blank slate and a script by Eric Roth that turns Benjamin into an old man version of Forrest Gump, leaves Ms. Blanchett dancing all by herself.

Director David Fincher is an artist beyond reproach. The way he melds the CGI and the real world is astonishing. Even more impressive are the scenes he creates with little help from the computers. A scene where Ms. Blanchett is seen dancing on an empty stage while attempting to entice Benjamin into their first trust is unbelievably beautiful. It's a scene that will be part of my memory for the rest of my life, even as the movie as a whole will fade relatively quickly.

There are breathtaking images in Benjamin Button which lay the uninvolving story all the more bare. I went in hoping to get some insight into a very unique character and left knowing what I knew about Benjamin Button when I came in. He is a boy who ages backwards. That alone is notable but how does it really affect him? What is his inner life like? The screenwriters never figured that out. What's left are a series of images and colorful supporting players and little to no insight into the man whose name is in the title.

Movie Review The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (2007)

Directed by Andrew Dominik 

Written by Andrew Dominik

Starring Brad Pitt, Casey Affleck, Sam Shepard, Mary Louise Parker, Jeremy Renner, Sam Rockwell, Zoey Deschanel

Release Date September 21st, 2007 

Published September 21st, 2007 

Few actors are as charismatic and in control as Brad Pitt. His handsomeness causes some to underestimate his talent. Pitt uses this to his advantage and almost constantly surprises. For his latest film, The Assassination of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford,  Pitt uses this audience bias to great advantage. As the legendary outlaw Jesse James, Pitt oozes charisma and draws us into this meandering, off-kilter art film.

That it doesn't quite work in the end is not Pitt's fault as much as director Andrew Dominic's overly ambitious artiness.

You could, if you were prone to being flippant, call The Assassination of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford -Jesse The E True Hollywood Story-. Jesse was among America's very first celebrities with his every move documented in front page headlines and in books. He was often received by fans when he arrived in a new town.

That Jesse was a thief and a cold blooded killer doesn't change his perception even in our modern culture filled with celebs who don't murder the innocent. In a day and age where serial killers receive repeated marriage proposals behind bars, Jesse James would likely be an even bigger star than in his own time as an infamous outlaw.

Another strange connection between Jesse and modern celebrity culture is how his celebrity played a role in his death. An obsessed fan, Robert Ford (Casey Affleck), took James' life after not finding the man a match for the legend he worshiped. Paranoid with an explosive temper and a deep dislike for anyone outside his family, Jesse was not really meant for worship. If that isn't the wrap up of an E True Hollywood Story then what is?

Add to this celeb culture stew the fact that Jesse James is played by uber-celebrity Brad Pitt and the mind reels with the synergy of such a cultural clash. All flippancy aside, for a moment, The Assassination of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford is quite a lovely looking movie. Director Andrew Dominik, with the aid of legendary cinematographer Roger Deakins, crafts a number of striking visuals. In fact,  throughout the film you can see where Dominik got lost in the scenery and forgot about telling his story.

There is so much fat on The Assassination of Jesse James that two movies likely could have been cut from what Andrew Dominik shot. Dominick's original cut of the film was actually over 4 hours long. He never planned on trying to release it at that length but that did not stanch rumors of a troubled production. In fact the film has been in the can since 2005 following battles between Dominik and the studio as to just how long the film could be. For once the studio was right and remained so even after the final cut which could be improved with a few more edits.

Brad Pitt remains, even in a meandering art-fest like this one, an electric presence. Jesse James has the lightning presence that was the legend of Jesse James but it is the anger, paranoia and frightening fragility in Pitt's performance that is truly riveting. As he did in Babel and to a lesser extent in Troy, Pitt captures the essence of heartache and turns it out at the audience in waves. On the other hand, there are also occasional flashes of that easygoing Ocean's 11 charm that shows how Jesse James could invite so much loyalty and worship.

Casey Affleck delivers quite ably in the very difficult role of the star struck Robert Ford. A perennial child, Robert Ford was the runt of his family. His defining characteristic was his desperate worship of Jesse James. His devotion won him a few moments in his hero's presence and the realization of the classic cliché 'be careful what you wish for'. Jesse James may not mind being worshiped but he was not above abusing that worship.

The Assassination of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford has moments that are rich and haunting and quite powerful. The problem is the journey which is overloaded with too much scenery and too little focus on what made these characters who they were. We get essences, ideas of who these men are. Unfortunately, Dominik is distracted by his scenery, overdose on a number of scenes and repeats others. A tighter edit could have made for a far more focused and fascinating film.

The Assassination of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford is a maddening mess of a movie. There is a very good film buried somewhere beneath the mountains of film that director Andrew Dominik shot. Sadly, Dominik just didn't have the distance from the material to step away and allow someone else to cut the film a little more closely.

There is a masterpiece buried somewhere in all of this celluloid though we will likely never see it. The Assassination of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford will go down as one of the great ambitious misfires in history.

Movie Review Race to Witch Mountain

Race to Witch Mountain (2009) 

Directed by Andy Fickman

Written by Matt Lopez, Mark Bomback 

Starring Dwayne The Rock Johnson, Alexander Ludwig, Anna Sophia Robb, Carla Gugino, Ciaran Hinds

Release Date March 13th, 2009 

Published March 12th, 2009 

The live action family movie is not an easy business. Getting past cheap laughs and cheese ball plots have been a challenge that few movies can stand. The best in the business are of course the folks at Disney. Sure they have as many misses (The Pacifier) as they have live action family hits (?) but they keep plugging away at it. And now they have a real home run hit.

Race To Witch Mountain is a reimagining of 1977's Escape To Witch Mountain. That film was a campy romp starring Eddie Albert, a motor home, and Bette Davis in one of the final roles of her career, long long long after her glory years. Escape and the sequel Return To Witch Mountain have cultivated a small but loyal fanbase over the years for both the earnest good nature of each and the high levels of kitsch.

The new Witch Mountain loses some of the kitsch but retains much of the camp, but most of all it captures the earnest popcorn movie entertainment that is likely to cultivate a whole new group of fans. Dwayne Johnson stars in Race To Witch Mountain as Jack Bruno, an ex-con gone straight arrow now working as a cab driver. One day, while a sci-fi convention takes over much of Las Vegas, Jack finds a couple of teenagers, Seth and Sara (Alexander Ludwig and Anna Sophia Robb), in the back of his cab. The kids ask him to drive them into the middle of the desert.

Once there, concerned for their safety, Jack follows them into a creepy secluded cabin where inside they are attacked by what looks like a spaceman. Once they are safe the kids break the news that indeed that was a spaceman and that they themselves are from outer space. Jack is naturally skeptical but he comes around after the kids use their unique powers to evade capture by government agents led by Agent Henry Burke (Ciaran Hinds). Think of Burke as the anti-Mulder, he is out to capture the kids for experimentation and possible extermination.

Eventually, Jack seeks the help of an alien expert, Dr. Alex Friedman (Carla Gugino) who helps them locate the one place in the country where the government could hide Seth and Sara's captured spaceship. With the government and the evil spaceman on their tail, Jack Alex and the kids have to get to Witch Mountain before it's too late.

What is so great about Race To Witch Mountain is the overall sense of wonder. The film treats aliens as a little kid might, with awe and wonder. While adults are long ago jaded by the idea of spaceships and aliens, kids' imaginations are still stoked by them and Race to Witch Mountain is the rare movie to keep that kid's awe and wonder intact.

The script by Matt Lopez and Mark Bomback is without cynicism and condescension. Sure, it's cheesy and often highly convenient but we aren't weighing the merits of a Coen Brothers Oscar contender here. Race To Witch Mountain is not Slumdog Millionaire or Milk. This is a live action kids movie that is out to satisfy the visceral energies of small children. We have to adjust our standards here. Director Andy Fickman directs Race To Witch Mountain at a high pitch and super quick pace. Fickman thrusts us right into the action and keeps this light and fun through car chases, alien fights and daring escapes. The energetic tone is reminiscent of the great action comedies from when I was a kid.

Movies like Goonies and Back To The Future and Raiders of the Lost Ark are part of how I came to love going to the movies and Race To Witch Mountain brought back those feelings for me. I can imagine an 8 or 9 year old kid in this day and age watching Race to Witch Mountain and making that same thrilling discovery. I'm not kidding folks, Race To Witch Mountain is that much fun.

A huge part of that fun is Dwayne Johnson. He was once called The Rock but a better nickname would be the natural. Ever since making the leap from wrestler to movie star, Dwayne Johnson has just gotten better and better. The man oozes charm and charisma from every pore.

Johnson's talent for action heroics and self deprecating asides are unmatched by any actor of his genre. Without Johnson in the lead, Race To Witch Mountain would likely wilt under the glare of its many plot conveniences and cheese ball action and stunts. With Johnson those same elements are glossed over by the fact that we are having such a good time with him.

Race To Witch Mountain is a pure joy. It's Goofy and good natured popcorn movie fun that the whole family will love. Ugh, I know, that sounded like a quote for the poster but so be it, this film is worth the price of the cliché.

Movie Review Reno 911 Miami

Reno 911 Miami (2007) 

Directed by Robert Ben Garant

Written by Robert Ben Garant, Thomas Lennon, Kerri Kenney Silver 

Starring Thomas Lennon, Robert Ben Garant, Dwayne The Rock Johnson, Kerri Kenney Silver 

Release Date February 23rd, 2007 

Published February 23rd, 2007 

Thomas Lennon and Ben Garant are the team behind some of the worst screenplays in the past decade. The Pacifier, Taxi, Night at the Museum, Let's Go To Prison amongst others, ugh. The screenplay is simply not their forte. As they demonstrate on Comedy Central's inspired improv series Reno 911, Lennon and Garant's talent lies in spontaneity and invention. In the comic moment they know where to find the joke.

Now, with Reno 911 Miami, Lennon and Garant finally have an example of their talent on the big screen. Now if we can just convince them to stop writing screenplays.

The cops of the Reno police department are incompetent goofs whose days are spent chasing naked meth freaks and shooting at loose chickens. This ragtag bunch has never been a respected group of cops which makes their invitation to the national police convention in Miami something of a surprise. That is until they get to the part where it says every cop in the country is invited.

Hopping a bus to Miami the Reno sheriff's arrive to find they have no reservations and end up at a flea pit motel where... well the less said about what happens in the following scene the better. The following day when our heroes attempt to attend the cops convention they find the building sealed off by homeland security. Every cop in Miami is inside that building leaving only the Reno cops to step in and patrol the streets.

That is the setup of what is, essentially just an extended episode of the TV series. The cops get cool new Miami Sheriffs uniforms, new vehicles to destroy and wholly new ways to demonstrate their incompetence. Directed by Garant with scenarios written by Lennon and fellow cast member Kerri Kenney, Reno 911 Miami is not exactly groundbreaking but it is pretty funny.

Sloughing off the strict rules of cable television the Reno crew indulges their basest instincts. From foul language to nudity to some truly horrifying sexual situations, the Reno crew really indulges in the freedom of the R-rating, something they can't take full advantage of on TV.

The best moments of Reno 911 Miami are the star cameos. Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson, comedian Patton Oswalt and a nearly unrecognizable Paul Rudd each are allowed some of the biggest laughs in the film. Rudd especially has a few big moments as a Miami drug lord who randomly kidnaps the Reno cops to warn them not to investigate him, something they had not been doing anyway.

Reno 911 is a funny TV show that really didn't need a theatrical feature. As a feature it's just as funny as an average episode of the TV show only with a little extra on the bathroom humor and the language. The R-rating isn't exactly a plus, often on the TV show the bleeping was as funny as any curse that might be uttered.

Fans of the TV series will be more than satisfied with this feature length version. For the uninitiated, Reno 911 Miami will provide a few big laughs but nothing they couldn't see on Comedy Central 3 or 4 times a week.

Movie Review Rampage

Rampage (2018) 

Directed by Brad Peyton

Written by Carlton Cuse, Ryan Engle, Ryan J. Condal, Adam Sztykiel

Starring Dwayne The Rock Johnson, Malin Akerman, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Naomie Harris 

Release Date April 13th, 2018 

Published April 12th, 2018 

Rampage stars Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson as Primatologist, Dr. Davis Okoye. A former military officer, Davis specialized in battling poachers in Africa. That’s where Davis met his best friend, George (Jason Liles, in full motion capture), a giant white ape. Davis brought George to America to keep him away from poachers who would pay a hefty price for such a rare creature. Over the years, George became a leader and he and Davis developed communication via sign language.

The plot kicks in when a plane carrying an experimental serum belonging to an evil corporation that specializes in… being evil, crashes, it exposes George and several other animals to the evil serum and causes them to grow out of control. Aside from George, the evil serum affects a wolf that develops the ability to fly and a crocodile that eventually swims across the country, even where there isn’t a large body of water, to enact destruction upon Chicago. 

The evil corporation, I assume, intends to weaponize the animals afflicted by the serum. When they turn on a beacon on top of their evil skyscraper it sends out a signal to the now monstrously over-sized animals that causes them to go crazy and make a mad dash for Chicago. Only Davis and a former scientist for the evil corporation, Dr. Kate Caldwell (Naomie Harris), can stop the animals from destroying Chicago… in a Rampage. Ha! 

Rampage sounds like a lot of fun, in description. Unfortunately, as directed by Brad Peyton, director of the equally forgettably competent, San Andreas, it’s merely a movie that exists. Rampage has no personality, no life, no charm. Everything in the movie is in frame, it looks professional and the CGI is well-produced. Competency however, is only part of a good movie and Rampage is missing those other essential qualities. 

Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson is one of the most entertaining movie stars of recent times and yet even his charm can’t bring Rampage to life. Like his performance in the recent flop Skyscraper, The Rock’s performance is muted, he doesn’t go for the jokes and appears to be taking the silliness of Rampage far too seriously. There are too many scenes that appear to be going for action movie suspense when they should be going for the kind of goofball, comic thrills The Rock gets in his Fast and Furious franchise. 

Malin Akerman, Jake Lacy and Jeffrey Dean Morgan, who plays a wacky CIA Agent, on the other hand, as opposed to The Rock, appear to know what movie they are in. Though they don’t achieve much flying in the face of the overly serious direction and score, the three supporting players try hard to bring laughs to their roles. These three get that a movie with giant animals on a ‘Rampage’ in a big city is not something to be taken too seriously. 

Morgan is unquestionably the best thing about Rampage, aside from the terrific creature effects. Morgan is grinning and giggling throughout Rampage and affects a bizarre drawl that is laughably over the top. Morgan’s looseness and giant grin are a clear port in a storm of boring exposition and tepid, acceptably well produced action. It’s a wonder Morgan isn’t a bigger star, he’s got personality to spare and as seen in Rampage, he can steal scenes from both The Rock and giant CGI animals. 

The biggest problem with Rampage is an approach that takes the material way too seriously. I get that giant animals attacking a large city would be something we would have to take seriously were it to ever happen but let’s be real here. This is a silly premise that needs to be treated as such for the movie to work. The supporting players get that and act accordingly comic, with Akerman twirling an absent mustache and Lacy being slimy and weaselly and Morgan making a joke of the whole thing. 

Sadly, The Rock, the most charismatic star in the world today, fails to get the joke of Rampage and in the star missing the joke, the movie fails. Director Brad Peyton especially needed to get the joke of Rampage and he completely misses the boat by going for genuine action movie suspense rather than amping up the goofiness ala The Fast and Furious franchise or the recent Jurassic World movies. That kind of approach could have made Rampage a classic. As it is, I don’t even recommend it as a time wasting rental.

Movie Review Skyscraper

Skyscraper (2018)

Directed by Rawson Marshall Thurber 

Written by Rawson Marshall Thurber 

Starring Dwayne The Rock Johnson, Chin Han, Roland Moller, Neve Campbell, Pablo Schreiber

Release Date July 13th, 2018

Published July 12th, 2018 

Releasing Skyscraper on the same weekend time frame when Die Hard was released 30 years earlier was a bad idea. Tributes abound this weekend to the staying power and quality of Die Hard and those who revisit the Bruce Willis classic will not look favorably upon the similarly plotted but far less accomplished Skyscraper. Just how bad is Skyscraper? Not even Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson and his megawatt smile can save it.

Skyscraper stars The Rock as Will Sawyer, a former Army Ranger turned FBI Agent and now family man and entrepreneur. After retiring from the FBI following a mission that ended tragically, Will started a family with his wife Sarah, who happened to save his life after he nearly died in that failed raid I just mentioned. Will has also just launched his own security firm. Will’s pal Ben (Pablo Schreiber) has even gone to great lengths to get him his first client and what a client he is.

Zhao (Chin Han) has just opened the world’s largest building; he calls it ‘The Pearl’ for the giant pearl design that sits above the 200th floor. Before he can open the residential section of ‘The Pearl’ however, Zhao needs to get insured and that means a full security systems check and that leads him to Will. Unfortunately, for both Zhao and Will, a group of terrorists want something that Zhao has locked away inside ‘The Pearl’ and they will go to extreme measures to get it.

Director Rawson Marshall Thurber is best known for the Ben Stiller comedy “Dodgeball.” He could have used some of that film’s sense of humor and good nature as Skyscraper is a dry, joyless exercise in simple minded, plot-heavy idiocy. The script, also by Thurber, is bursting at the seams with clumsy, forced, exposition to the point where characters communicate plot points by speaking out loud to no one but the movie watching audience.

I’m not kidding, at one point, the main baddie of Skyscraper, played by Roland Moller, talks to no one in particular and makes mention of something important to the plot of the movie. Later, The Rock is also alone and also expositing plot points to no one but us and the scene is so forced and clumsy that even Rock’s billion dollar charisma can’t sell the line. The Rock could sell ice cubes in the arctic but the awful dialogue of Skyscraper fully defeats him.

I’m a huge fan of Dwayne Johnson and I have been since his early days in the WWE. He’s always had an air about him, a swagger, a star presence that, even in subpar efforts, still shined through. Until now, I thought The Rock was invincible, the kind of actor who unfailingly elevated the movies he chose to star in. Here, however, with Skyscraper, even The Rock’s magnetism is defeated by a terrible script and subpar direction.

This Skyscraper should be condemned! Is what I would say if I were a terrible critic looking to score a cheap giggle. Instead, I will say that Skyscraper is one of the worst movies of 2018, a flat, dull-witted bit of action nonsense that can’t hold a candle to its undoubted influencer, Die Hard which, even 30 years later, feels fresh, fun and exciting and more so when compared to the dreck of Skyscraper.

Movie Review The Condemned

The Condemned (2007)

Directed by Scott Wiper

Written by Scott Wiper, Rob Hedden 

Starring Stone Cold Steve Austin, Vinny Jones, Robert Mammone, Rick Hoffman

Release Date April 27th, 2007 

Published August 16th, 2007

WWE owner Vince McMahon is still ticked off that Dwayne ‘The Rock' Johnson managed to become a major movie star without Vince's help. Ever since The Rock left the WWE for Hollywood Vince has been determined to make movie stars of his wrestlers while they are still working for him. Thus, last year audiences were treated to WWE star Glen 'Kane' Jacobs in the forgettable horror flick See No Evil.

That film was followed by WWE champion John Cena in The Marine in early 2007. Both of those films tanked at the box office but that is not slowing down the WWE owner's determination to make movies. McMahon and company have gone back to the well one more time with the action movie The Condemned.

WWE superstar Stone Cold Steve Austin stars in The Condemned as Jack Conrad, a navy seal left behind in a South American prison after a black ops mission gone bad. Sentenced to death, Jack is plucked off of death row by an American millionaire with some ugly intentions. Ian Breckel (Robert Mammone) is creating the ultimate high stakes reality show and Jack Conrad is going to be the star attraction.

The Condemned is a competition in which 10 condemned prisoners are transported to a remote island filled with cameras. The premise is to have the former death row inmates from around the globe battle to the death. The last man or woman left standing will be released with some money in their pocket. The whole show will be filmed and broadcast worldwide on the net.

It's a premise that's been used a number of times in films as varied as The Running Man and Death Race 2000 to more artful examples like the indie Series 7: The Contenders or the Asian classic Battle Royale. So The Condemned and writer-director Scott Wiper are not exactly treading new ground here. What is different about The Condemned is the oddball way in which The Condemned comes out against the very violence it portrays and intends to thrive upon.

The Condemned is a hard R-rated action movie with some brutal violence and a high body count. It's also a movie with a moralist message that condemns the very violence it proliferates. It's a very strange combination because the movie plays out in such an earnest, straightforwardly violent fashion. The Condemned plays as if the filmmakers were entirely unaware of the irony.

There is a goofy charm in the way The Condemned unfolds it's moralist plot with hardcore violence. Director Scott Wiper is either a madman genius who gets it so well that he can make you think he doesn't. Or he is so blissfully ignorant that the irony of using hardcore violence to condemn hardcore violence is lost on him in the same way Ed Wood could ignore the strings holding the fake flying saucer in his Plan 9 From Outer Space.

The only really knowing aspect of The Condemned comes from star Stone Cold Steve Austin whose performance is so completely in the know it damn near doubles back on itself and becomes a severe parody. Stone Cold bites into every line with relish and extra cheese. He delivers one-liners with the skill and precision of a Schwarzenegger in one scene and with deathly Stallone/Rambo seriousness in others.

The Condemned is a bizarre combination of hardcore violence and oddball moralizing. It's a film whose premise condemns the very violence it thrives upon and does so with such earnestness that you almost appreciate the naivete of the creators. Their seeming lack of awareness of the irony of their plot is strangely endearing. I can't recommend The Condemned, it's just not a very good movie overall, but for the brave irony appreciators out there, those of you with a strong stomach and stronger sardonic nature, you may find something to enjoy in The Condemned.