Movie Review Salt

Salt (2010) 

Directed by Phillip Noyce

Written by Kurt Wimmer

Starring Angelina Jolie, Liev Schreiber, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Andre Braugher

Release Date July 23rd, 2010 

Published July 22nd, 2010 

Can a movie run on pure rocket fuel adrenalin? The answer is yes but only when your star has the astonishing star power of Angelina Jolie. “Salt,” directed by Phillip Noyce, begins with a jolt and after a few moments of exposition to set the stakes it sets off on a pace that makes “Fast and the Furious” look like “The Remains of the Day.”

Angelina Jolie is Evelyn Salt, a CIA Agent who is accused by a Russian defector (Daniel Olbrychski) of being a Russian sleeper agent tasked with killing the Russian President. Naturally, Salt claims she is being set up and just as naturally no one, aside from her partner Winters (Liev Schreiber) believes her.

Internal Affairs Agent Peabody (Chiwitel Ejiofor) certainly doesn't believe her and intends on detaining her but with her husband (August Diehl) having gone missing and the defector having escaped, Salt takes it on herself to escape to chase the baddie, find her husband and prevent the job she's allegedly been tasked with from taking place.

There is a great deal going on plot wise in “Salt“and not one iota of it matters in the least to the success of the film. “Salt” is a film that exists purely as propulsion. The action proceeds at a pace that distracts from the whacked plot and seems intended to do just that.

Director Phillip Noyce and screenwriter Kurt Wimmer have constructed a movie so convoluted that the entire film functions as a weird Rube Goldberg experiment that relies desperately on the next ludicrous yet intricately designed, rapid fire action scene. In one of the biggest and most outlandish scenes in the film Jolie leaps from one moving truck to another and then another all while being chased and shot at. The physics are laughable but if you treat it like the inside joke between filmmaker and audience that it may in fact be and you can really have some fun.

Angelina Jolie is both gorgeous and badass with just a touch of vulnerability. Those lips and that body draw you in and the rest keeps you riveted to the screen waiting to see what she will do next. “Salt” was initially written for a male protagonist and Tom Cruise was rumored for the lead. Seeing “Salt” on the big screen it's impossible to imagine anyone but Ms. Jolie, she owns this role with style, sex, charisma and an almost physical command of the screen.

Of course, if you pause for a moment and pull the plot apart it would crumble like a bad game of Jenga but like I said “Salt” has little time for a plot. “Salt” is a perpetual motion machine of gunfights, car chases, foot chases ,and Angelina Jolie's unstoppable charisma. Take it for what it is and ask for nothing more and you will be satisfied with “Salt.”

Movie Review Roma

Roma (2018) 

Directed by Alfonso Cuaron

Written by Alfonso Cuaron

Starring Yalitza Aparicio 

Release Date December 14th, 2018

Published December 11th, 2018 

Film Critics tend to be accused of automatically loving movies that are subtitled and in black and white. It’s a trope of my kind that we will always heap praise upon a foreign film while bagging on the latest Hollywood offering that earns millions of dollars. People assume this has to do with critics establishing our highbrow credentials but my more than 16 years of experience has taught me why this trend takes hold. 

Having spent well over a decade seeing every Hollywood wide release movie in the theater I can attest, it begins to wear you down over time. You, dear reader, may only see one teen oriented slasher film but I see 5 or 6 per year. You see perhaps three blockbusters per year on average, I see them all. You see maybe one Young Adult romance per year, I am inundated with them. Eventually, after experiencing the same Hollywood formula year after year after year, your brain begins to beg for something different and since subtitled black and white movies are a rarity in this day and age, it makes sense that we critics gravitate towards them, if only to break the monotony. 

Roma is the latest of the black and white subtitled movies to receive lavish praise from my kind. Roma has 99% positive reviews on RottenTomatoes.com and has been honored with a Best Picture nomination at the Critics Choice Movie Awards, the first Foreign Film in the CCMA's 24 year history. Critics adore this minimalist and deeply personal story from the brilliant director Alfonso Cuaron and I think I am a fan. Or, is it just so welcomingly different that I just appreciate the difference. Let’s find out. 

Roma tells the story of Cleo (Yalitza Aparicio), a young maid working in the home of a well off family in Mexico in the early 1970's. Cleo’s life is a routine of cleaning and cooking and bonding with the four young children in the family. As we watch we get the sense that Cleo is almost like part of the family… almost. Little scenes in Roma give us a sense of the boundaries that the adults in the family work awkwardly to maintain. 

The family is beginning to splinter as the story goes on but that’s well in the background. The forefront of the story is Cleo and her day to day routine which she breaks only occasionally to go on dates with Fermin (Jorge Antonio Guerrero), a handsome but unusual young man, deeply dedicated to the martial arts. Fermin pursues Cleo but when she ends up pregnant, that pursuit ends abruptly and Cleo is left to take care of herself and worry as to whether she will be able to keep her job. 

Although I have given it a linear description, there really isn’t much of a story in Roma. This isn’t a traditional kind of movie. Director Alfonso Cuaron’s aim appears to be an authentic portrait of the life of a low wage working woman in the early 1970’s, perhaps a callback to someone he knew when he was young. It’s deeply affecting as a portrait of the character of Cleo who is compellingly portrayed by newcomer Yalitza Aparicio. 

Cuaron, rather impassively, floats his camera like a fly on a wall, observing at a distance the life of Cleo and the travails of her day to day routine. The panning shots of the home of the central family are quite beautiful and they set you up for even more beautiful, sweeping images when the film ventures out of the home, including a beautifully surreal firefighting scene in which the attendants of a New Year’s Eve Party are drafted in to help put out a forest fire. It’s a scene that would be comfortably at home in a Fellini movie, especially when a costume wearing man begins to sing. 

Alfonso Cuaron handled his own cinematography on Roma and his work is immaculate. The look of the film is gorgeous with the black & white photography giving the movie age and depth and a unique beauty that a director could likely only get from Black & White film. The film is flawlessly lensed and the technical filmmaking aspect of Roma is the real reason to see it. Rarely are movies this beautiful to just admire.

With all of that said, I am not sure how to recommend Roma. I have come to the conclusion that the film worked on me. I do like Roma a great deal, and not just because I am bored with every other type of movie in the market. The beauty and warmth of the film are more than enough for me to give a recommendation but there must be a caveat. Roma takes a long time to warm up. The film is deliberate and anyone looking for instant gratification should find another movie. 

The film is kind of gross early on with an extra special focus on a very, very messy dog. Then there is some highly unnecessary full male nudity which really puts me off. I understand why it is there, from a character standpoint and from a story standpoint, but I think the point could have been made elsewhere in the movie that this particular character is a childish lout. I don’t need to see him or anyone performing nude martial arts. 

So, who do I recommend Roma to, since I am recommending the movie? The audience is fans of awards shows. If you are someone who really loves awards shows and wants to see all of the nominees, you will need to see Roma. It would come as no surprise, given the critical consensus, if Roma is nominated for Best Picture at the Academy Awards. It deserves that level of praise. If however, you aren’t an awards junkie, you probably aren’t a hardcore film buff either. That probably means that Roma is not for you. 

Essay on Celebrity Documentaries

Listen to Me Marlon (2015)

Amy (2015)

I don’t know what to make of our celebrity culture anymore. Having recently seen the documentaries, Amy, Listen to Me Marlon and Soaked in Bleach, I can’t help but border on the idea that there is a real life conspiracy in the world to make some people seem crazier than they really are. In Listen to Me Marlon, Marlon Brando comes off as lucid and thoughtful, unlike the boorish, self-absorbed maniac that so many others portrayed him as.

In Amy we don’t see a girl who was a wreck and destroying herself, we see a slightly troubled girl of a slight emotional impairment ravaged on all sides by deceitful members of her family, and a media that are nothing short of vultures. In Soaked in Bleach we meet a Courtney Love that is not too much unlike the public persona, only slightly more human and filled with guilt and regret that she papers over with booze and drugs the way any other guilt-ridden person might use to cover their shame.

We’ve become trained to not see celebrities as fellow human beings, to not feel compassion for them because they are privileged. We’ve allowed ourselves the excuse of that privilege as giving us the right to pry into their lives for little details that we can then use to create versions of these celebrities that we can love or hate or project whatever feelings of inadequacy we have onto them.

It’s terrifying the lengths that we allow ourselves to go in order to create a more relatable or outsized version of these people to satisfy our needs. We harden opinions based on conjecture from people who make a living by inventing stories about these people for us to consume. It’s a demonstration of the ugliest sides of us.

These documentaries, especially Amy and Listen to Me Marlon, are more than just films, they are signposts of our cultural ruin and must be seen so that we can all take stock of who we’ve become and why and maybe find a way to strike a balance in our desire for these beautiful ciphers for our dreams and the reality that they live, love and hurt as much as we do, if not for many of the same reasons.

Movie Review Rush Hour 3

Rush Hour 3 (2007)

Directed by Bret Ratner

Written by Jeff Nathanson

Starring Chris Tucker, Jackie Chan, Max Von Sydow, Noemie Lenoire, Jingchu Zhang

Release Date August 10th, 2007

Published August 9th, 2007

Chris Tucker has become something of a mystery. After 2001's Rush Hour 2, Tucker could not have been hotter. Tucker was commanding a salary of 20 million dollars per picture. He had offers coming in left and right and then nothing. For six years Tucker seemingly vanished from Hollywood. Six years later, after spending some time as a philanthropist in Africa, Tucker is back and returning to the character that made him a 20 million dollar man.

The endless troubles, budget and screenplay-wise, of Rush Hour 3 likely contributed to Tucker's absence. This sequel has been in the works since Rush Hour 2 opened to nearly 70 million dollars back in August of 2001. However, they just could not work out the many issues, until now, six years later.

It's been six years since Detective Carter (Chris Tucker) and his international partner, Inspector Lee (Jackie Chan) threw down against some bad guys. Today, Carter has gotten himself in so much trouble that he is directing traffic on the busy streets of L.A. Meanwhile, his pal Lee is back in town, protecting the life of Ambassador Han (Tzi Ma) who may have information that could bring down the evil Chinese Triad.

When the Ambassador is shot, though not killed, Lee and Carter re-team to search for the Triad leaders who organized the hit, knowing that if they don't the triad will return to finish the job and kill the Ambassador's daughter Soo Yung (Jingchu Zhang). The investigation takes Carter and Lee to Paris where the triad is searching for a secret linked to a cabaret performer (Noemie Lenoire) and the French Ambassador Varden (Max Von Sydow).

You can definitely see some wear and tear on the Rush Hour concept as the creators and stars have stretched this buddy cop premise about as far as it can go. Carter and Lee have been friends for nearly a decade now, since the original Rush Hour in 1998, and yet we are to believe they still cannot understand each other.

The jokes have run their course and what is left is Tucker trying to motormouth his way through some mediocre improv jokes and an aging Jackie Chan trying desperately to hide his use of stunt men and CGI to help him with the acrobatics that made him a star. To Chan's credit, the action is the film's best asset, even if you can occasionally see the CGI at the seams.

Joining Tucker and Chan in Rush Hour 3 is a motley crew of supporting players and cameo day players. Director Roman Polanski is a standout as an officious French police officer who confronts Carter and Lee at Air France airport security in a most uncomfortable fashion. It's uncomfortable not merely for the joke but for the fact that it is Roman Polanski and this joke. And, of course, the trailer plays up Chan and Tucker's encounter with the former world's tallest man Sun Ming Ming which is about as funny as it is in the trailers and TV commercials.

Then there is Yvan Attal as the snooty French cab driver George. His anti-American schtick takes the film dangerously close to social commentary for all of about 20 seconds before he is tearing through the streets of Paris and screaming I love being an American! Americans by his definition, being the kind of people who are constantly involved in car chases and gunplay.

The problem with Rush Hour 3 is that it just isn't funny enough. You know that when the biggest laugh in the movie comes from a woman with a wig and an oh so timely reference to The Crying Game that the humor is beyond stale. Thankfully, Jackie Chan and director Brett Ratner do well enough with the fight scenes that even the most bored and jaded moviegoer will find themselves compelled, especially in the big Eiffel Tower finale.

The Rush Hour series is tired and running on fumes, like so many third films in Hollywood sequel land. Remember Lethal Weapon3? Ugh!. Rush Hour 3 isn't quite that disastrous but it's not that much better either. Here's hoping that Chan and Tucker move on to bigger and better things. Chan might consider training someone else to take all of those falls that have taken such a toll on him.

As for Chris Tucker, it's nice to see him back on the screen as he does remain a welcome presence. Let's just get past the motormouth cops and get him into something more challenging, or at the very least, something funnier than the retread jokes of Rush Hour 3.

Movie Review: Underdog

Underdog (2007) 

Directed by Frederik Du Chau

Written by Adam Rifkin

Starring Jason Lee, Jim Belushi, Peter Dinklage, Patrick Warburton, John Slattery, Taylor Momsen

Release Date August 3rd, 2007

Published August 3rd, 2007

Was there any need to make the 60's cartoon Underdog into a big budget live action movie? I've heard no clamor or call. No one outside the official Underdog fan club has even thought of Underdog in the near 20 years since the last reruns were exorcised from TV screens. And yet, here we are with Disney dusting off this forgotten pop culture relic with visions of the family dollar dancing in the heads of Disney accountants.

I hope they got their money's worth because we, the movie-going public, certainly do not. This 88 minute cash grab is one of the most dreary projects to come out of the Disney company since the bastardized sequels of their Pixar and other animated properties. Underdog is a deeply misguided, mercenary effort where profit trumps good taste, and stock prices are calculating on box office returns. 

Jason Lee stars as the voice of Underdog a former K9 cop turned lab rat who, after getting zapped by some chemicals, develops super powers. Escaping the lab of the evil doctor Simon Barr Sinister (slumming Station Agent star Peter Dinklage), Underdog ends taken in by a security guard (Jim Belushi) and his troubled son (Alex Neuberg). Nicknamed shoeshine for his proclivity for licking shoes, Underdog slowly learns that he has powers before the boy helps him become a superhero.

No points for for guessing that the troubled boy is healed by his new best friend and that father and son are brought closer together as they are forced to team up against Barr Sinister and his henchman Cad (Patrick Warburton). You could guess how this plot plays out without having to sit through this mind-numbing cliché of family movie drivel.

The key to such a predictable plot is trying to reinvent, or at the very least dress up, your familiar elements with jokes, action or effects. Underdog fails in all three of those attempts. The jokes of Underdog are limited to eye rolling dog puns about what dogs like to eat, where they like to poop and how they interact i.e the butt sniffing joke you can anticipate well before it comes.

The action is even more lame than the jokes. Mirroring the equally painful family dog picture Firehouse Dog, Underdog is just a series of bad CGI talking dogs against ugly fake green screened environments. The action and the effects of Underdog are inextricably linked thus if the action is lame, the effects must be as bad or even worse.

Looking at the cast of Underdog you can't be surprised to see the name of Jim Belushi on the cast list. What is shocking and sad is the career destruction of Jason Lee. Yes, it's only his voice in the role of Underdog but nevertheless, you have to dock him a bunch of cool points for his willingness to utter such lame jokes. Worse yet, Lee will follow Underdog by starring as Dave in a live action Alvin & The Chipmunks. Ugh.

I've already heard from one former Jason Lee fan who has completely written him off now that he seems to be taking the Eddie Murphy path to the easy family movie paycheck. Even more desperate than Lee is Peter Dinklage who truly lowers himself to play the villain in Underdog. The man who became an actor to watch after his terrific performance in The Station Agent, is now flailing and gesticulating desperately as he tries to cover up this failure with wild gesturing.

I'm sure that someone thought that making a live action version of Underdog would be fun but most of the people behind this lame adaptation likely only saw dollar signs. There was no call for a live action update of Underdog. No large contingent of fans lying in wait for Disney to wake up and realize the property they held was so valuable. Like the brutal Rocky & Bullwinkle movie from a few years back, Underdog is not a cartoon that cried out for live action adaptation. Rather,Underdog is a 60's relic barely notable enough to require a DVD collection.

Even a straight to video launch would have been too much for this waste of screen space.

Movie Review Hot Rod

Hot Rod (2007)

Directed by Akiva Schaffer

Written by Pam Brady

Starring Andy Samberg, Ian McShane, Isla Fisher

Release Date August 3rd, 2007

Published August 3rd, 2007

Andy Samberg was the MVP of Saturday Night Live recently thanks to his terrifically funny digital short films Lazy Sunday and Dick In A Box. Samberg has brought SNL the kind of cultural cache that the show hasn't had in over a decade which makes his move to the big screen a well anticipated event. It also unfortunately stokes my disappointment in Samberg's feature film debut.

Hot Rod, the story of a teenage stuntman, is a lame attempt to expand on Samberg's talent for physical humor with none of the wit that made Lazy Sunday a YouTube classic.

Rod (Samberg) dreams of one day becoming a world famous stuntman. For now he is content putting on stunt shows for the younger kids in the neighborhood. Though, as we meet him, his stunts consist mostly of his ugly crashes, Rod never loses hope that one day he will hit the big jump that will make him a legend and earn him the respect of his step-father (Ian Mcshane).

Rod's relationship with his step-dad is strained. The two do battle in hand to hand combat on a regular basis, putting a real hurt on one another; with real weapons and fists, in the family basement while Mom (Sissy Spacek) remains clueless. Despite the acrimony, when his step-dad grows ill and needs an operation to save his life, Rod steps up with a plan to use his stunt skills to raise the money to save his life, if only so he can finally kick the old guy's ass.

Naturally, there is a love interest for Rod. Isla Fisher (Wedding Crashers) plays Denise, Rod's neighbor who remains oblivious to Rod's obvious crush on her. As a plot this typically dictates, Denise has a jerk boyfriend (Will Arnett) who will no doubt lose his girl to the sweet, earnest Rod.

Hot Rod was directed by Akiva Schaffer who is one third of the Lonely Island Comedy team with Samberg and Hot Rod co-star Jorma Taccone. The trio has worked together since they were teenagers and when Samberg got his SNL gig, based on one of their popular internet videos, he brought Schaffer and Taccone along with him as writers.

In their work; Samberg, Schaffer and Taccone have shown a real knack for modern culture and ironic wit. Why that did not translate in Hot Rod likely has a lot to do with trying to meld their talents with what is a rather mundane formulaic concept. Reduced to trying to squeeze their brand of irony in between all of the goofball slapstick, Samberg and company are left with snarky music cues and vague homages to 80's cultural icons, though thankfully no Hasselhoff.

Hot Rod is yet another of those really disappointing Hollywood comedies where the best stuff is the trailer. Searching my memory for one funny scene that I hadn't already seen in the film's ad campaign; I'm at a loss. The ramp collapsed? Funny in the trailer; less funny in the movie. The exploding stunt and subsequent exchange with a malcontent viewer? Funny in the trailer, forgettable in the context of the movie.

And on and on, anything funny in the trailer is all that was mildly amusing in the film itself. What is left of Hot Rod are allegedly humorous bits of music placement. If you think the simple fact that someone listens to the long lost hair band Europe is funny, then you will get a chuckle out of Hot Rod. If you think a character singing a karaoke version of George Michael's One More Try to his stuffed animals is a laugh riot? Then Hot Rod is your movie.

Whoops, sorry, I may have given away this movie's two jokes that aren't in the trailer.

Hot Rod is a real disappointment. Andy Samberg is a talented kid who can and likely will do better. Being that Hot Rod was a script originally intended for Will Ferrell, Samberg would be well instructed to find and develop something of his own. Or, at the very least, something more suited to his quirky talents. Hot Rod is, I hope, beneath the talent of Mr. Samberg and not the definition of his talents on the big screen.

Movie Review I Am Legend

I Am Legend (2007) 

Directed by Francis Lawrence

Written by Mark Protosevich, Akiva Goldsman

Starring Will Smith, Alice Brag, Charlie Tahan, Dash Mihok

Release Date December 14th, 2007

Published December 13th, 2007

Will Smith is the biggest star in the world for a reason. People just love this guy. It's an inexplicable kind of chemistry. He has that indefinable quality that draws people to him and that quality makes a big difference in his latest effort I Am Legend. Playing the last man in New York City, Smith is robbed of the tools that have made him a star. Gone is the charm, the timely quips lost on his only companion, his dog. Of course, he may not need his usual charm and quirks. After all I Am Legend has Will in his comfort zone, saving the world.

Dr. Robert Neville is resistant to both the air borne and blood borne virus that has in just three years wiped out most of the world's population. Those who weren't killed and weren't immune like Robert have mutated into bloodthirsty night dwellers who roam the streets in search of what fresh meat remains. Only Robert remains in New York City and he is a little lonely.

Spending his days hunting deer on Broadway and growing crops by the shore, and his nights trying to cure the virus, Robert is slowly going insane from the human void around him. Like Tom Hanks in Castaway, a movie I'm sure Robert has watched a dozen or so times, Robert longs for human contact and even begins infusing human qualities in inanimate objects.

Of course things don't stay this way. The mutants that Robert had thought were brain dead, bloodthirsty monsters are evolving in their hunt for blood and a confrontation is brewing between the scientist and the evil dead. Eventually, another human does arrive and they will make a stand together.

I Am Legend was directed by Francis Lawrence, a director who knows post-apocalyptic doom from his underrated work on the Keanu Reeves flick Constantine. I Am Legend leaves that film in the dust by depicting a decrepit world in ruins. The New York City of I Am Legend is like a second star of the film constantly vying for your attention.

Seeing the streets overgrown with weeds, the buildings moldered and dust covered, the streets covered in dirt, is truly mind blowing. Lawrence and his effects team create a stunningly realistic landscape for Smith and his undead friends to inhabit.

Ah, but Lawrence did not leave the direction to just the effects. He does a terrific job creating opportunities for Will Smith to do his action thing. The tense confrontations between Will and the bloodthirsty monsters are directed with so much tension and energy that you will watch through your fingers, slumping in your seat as your heart beats quickly.

This is a terrific piece of direction. Early on, as Will and his dog are chasing deer, the dog chases a fawn into a dark worn down building. We intuit quickly that the monsters can only thrive in the dark and that this is a dangerous situation. Using little light and some forced perspective camera work, Lawrence creates a fast paced, tension filled sequence.

I Am Legend is terrifically exciting and smarter and more thoughtful than you might expect from such a genre flick. Will Smith brings a number of fine character touches to Robert that make him real to us, real enough that we fear for him and are thus engulfed in his plight. For fans of both horror and action, I Am Legend is arguably the movie of the year. For the rest, it's a satisfying bit of Saturday night entertainment.