Movie Review Half Past Dead

Half Past Dead (2002) 

Directed by Don Michael Paul

Written by Don Michael Paul 

Starring Steven Seagal, Ja Rule, Kurupt, Morris Chestnut, Nia Peeples 

Release Date November 15th, 2002

Published November 15th, 2002 

As long as rap stars want an "actor" to make them look good, Steven Seagal will have a film career. Never known for his acting, Seagal is the perfect foil for rappers beginning their acting careers because his sullen, wooden ridiculousness makes his co-stars seem Deniro-esque in comparison. In Half Past Dead Seagal does the trick for first timer Ja Rule.

Dead features Seagal as Sascha, an FBI agent who is deep undercover in a group of car thieves. Sascha's unwitting partner is Nick (Ja Rule) who thinks his new partner is a straight thug criminal. Nick is getting Sascha close to the criminal organization that killed Sascha's wife until the two are busted at a stolen car chop shop and Nick is sent to jail. To stay undercover and close to Nick, Sascha joins Nick at the newly reopened Acatraz Island prison.

Alcatraz is about to perform its first execution since reopening on a man named Sonny Eckvall (Richard Bremmer). Sonny was sentenced to death for the murder of FBI agents who were attempting to arrest him for stealing $200 million in gold. Before committing the murders, Sonny stashed the gold and plans to take the gold’s location to his grave. A female Supreme Court justice, conveniently soon to be a hostage, played by Linda Thorson, has come to Alcatraz to preside over the execution.

Before the execution can occur, a group of terrorists lead by a prison bureaucrat played by Morris Chestnutt (slumming for a paycheck), attack the prison with the intent of forcing Sonny to reveal the location of the gold. Unfortunately for them, Sascha is loose in the prison and is quickly dispatching of his henchman.

It is no surprise that Half Past Dead is a slipshod, slapped together B movie. What is surprising is how truly inept a movie made in this day and age can be. Especially a film with a studio backing. Bad movies are bad movies but there is no excuse for the massive continuity errors and logical leaps forced upon us by first time feature director Don Michael Paul. My favorite is when the bad guys leap out of a plane in what is clearly daylight and then land on Alcatraz at night. You could skydive from the moon and land faster than that.

I also enjoyed Paul's admission on the commentary track that some of the film's footage was a direct lift from his buddy Michael Bay's movie The Rock. Originality gets its ass kicked again. Now to be fair, director Paul does give the film a slick and polished music video style that looks very cool on DVD. Oh, and whomever dressed up Nia Peeples did a great job because she has never looked hotter.

Unfortunately, no matter how slick the movie may look it can't make Steven Seagal look good. Seagal's plodding dullness is becoming more and more evident with every film. He continues to get slower and more overweight in every movie. Where his martial arts moves may have once been credible, or were they? I don't remember. Regardless, they are clearly embellished by stuntmen and effects in Half Past Dead.

As for Ja Rule, he isn't an unpleasant actor but his range is limited and I can't imagine much of a future for him as an actor outside of ultraviolet low dialogue B-movies. Half Past Dead is more evidence, as if anymore was needed, that Steven Seagal is beyond washed up. Though I'm sure that because Hollywood is a cesspool of greed and stupidity there will always be a place for him in movies. Let's hope this film’s lack of box office will seal his fate as a straight-to-video B-movie actor.