Movie Review The Haunted Mansion

The Haunted Mansion (2003) 

Directed by Rob Minkoff 

Written by David Berenbaum 

Starring Eddie Murphy, Terence Stamp, Wallace Shawn, Jennifer Tilly 

Release Date November 26th, 2003 

Published November 25th, 2003 

It may be time to finally put our memories of Eddie Murphy 'comic genius' away for good. It seems we will never see Murphy's talent ever again. With every mediocre family movie in which he picks up an eight figure paycheck, the Eddie Murphy of our memory dies a little. Eddie can't go and make an edgy, raunchy, action comedy anymore because it might cost him his next family movie paycheck. With his latest mediocre family movie, The Haunted Mansion, Murphy pounds yet another nail into the coffin of his former comic persona.

In The Haunted Mansion, which is based on the Disney theme park ride, Murphy is real estate maven Jim Evers of Evers and Evers Real Estate. The family's cringe-inducing catchphrase is “Evers and Evers making your family happy for Evers and Evers.” Yikes. In an all too familiar plot, Jim works way too much, and his wife Sara (Marsha Tomason) is upset that he doesn't spend enough time with the kids, daughter Megan (Aree Davis) and son Michael (Marc John Jeffries).

To that end, Jim proposes a family trip to the lake with no work at all for the entire weekend. No work until a new client comes calling with a huge property to sell. It's a gothic 1800s mansion called Gracie Manor and if the Evers want the listing they have to come immediately. In what is supposed to be a quick detour from their trip, the family stops at Gracie Manor to meet the owner and wind up spending the night with ghosts, zombies, and various other horror movie staples.

The ghosts in the Haunted Mansion are Master Gracie (Nathaniel Parker) and his staff, headed up by Ramsley (Terrence Stamp) the butler and his assistants played by Wallace Shawn and Dina Spybey. Jennifer Tilly also shows up as a gypsy in magic ball. The ghosts of Gracie Manor can only escape if their curse is lifted and the vagaries of the curse involve a woman who looks exactly like Sara Evers. When Sara is captured by the ghosts, it's up to Jim to save her and find some other way to lift the curse.

Eddie Murphy, as he does even in his worst films, shows flashes of the kind of comedy we know he's capable of. Murphy remains charismatic and occasionally that comic spark comes back. But sadly, for the most part, Eddie Murphy in The Haunter Mansion is in pick up a check mode. Murphy's Jim Evers is a bumbling scaredy cat channeling Abbott & Costello meet Frankenstein, until it's time for him to save the day. That might not sound bad but Murphy's strength is not being Abbott or Costello and his idea of broad physical comedy is forced and unpleasant. 

Poor Terrence Stamp looks, in every scene, as if he can barely keep from rolling his eyes. Stamp's boredom with this lame material is evident in his every gesture, facial expression and line of dialogue. Like Murphy, he's not here to make The Haunted Mansion good, he's here to get his paycheck and go do something else. This is a feeling that permeates the entirety of The Haunted Mansion, a complete disinterest in actually making a good movie. 

Director Rob Minkoff is one of those studio hacks that Disney keeps on the payroll just for movies like this: Mediocre, inoffensive family comedies that need merely to transfer script to screen. Minkoff shows little directorial flair in The Haunted Mansion. It's likely he could spend his entire career turning out mediocre hits like this one or another Stuart Little movie. The Haunted Mansion is not an offensively bad movie. Merely a mediocre movie. Of course I've often wondered just which is worse, mediocre or just plain bad.