Movie Review: The Matador

The Matador (2005) 

Directed by Richard Shepherd 

Written by Richard Shepherd 

Starring Pierce Brosnan, Greg Kinnear, Phillip Baker Hall, Hope Davis 

Release Date December 30th, 2005 

Published December 27th, 2005 

A great matador can kill a bull with a single precise blow from his sword. This pinpoint accuracy is prized by the crowd who, despite the sport's inherent cruelty, cannot abide the bull suffering too much. At first glimpse the title The Matador seems odd for a movie without a matador character, but with the film set in Mexico and the lead actor playing a hit-man prized for his precision, the title choice becomes clear perfection. Also perfect is the casting of the film which moves the former James Bond, Pierce Brosnan, on to a new career path that may be more rewarding than any secret agent franchise.

Pierce Brosnan stars in The Matador as Julian Noble, a hit-man who's losing his touch. Julian has been blowing off jobs and telling his handler, Mr. Randy (Phillip Baker Hall), he just needs a vacation, something most hit-men are not afforded. One lonely night in a Mexico City hotel bar Julian meets Danny Wright (Greg Kinnear), who's in Mexico on business. Desperate for any kind of human contact--someone he doesn't have to pay or kill--Julian buys Danny a drink and makes a fumbling attempt at friendship.

Julian is terrible with people and manages to insult Danny more than once before Danny finally agrees to hang out with him. Danny has his own troubles. He desperately needs a major business contract with a Mexican firm or his new company will go under. As if that wasn't enough, just before he left his home in Denver, a tree fell through the wall of his kitchen--nearly killing him and his wife, Bean (Hope Davis).

Julian is, at first, leery of telling Danny what he does for a living. Eventually however, while attending a bullfight, he finally breaks down and tells Danny who reacts with a reasonable disbelief. After a rather ingenious demonstration where Julian nearly kills a target that Danny chose at random, Danny finally comes to believe Julian is a hit-man. Here is where the film takes its first unique turn. Rather than run away from Julian, Danny is intrigued by him and takes on the interesting perspective about what a great story he will have to tell his friends back home. Not many people can say they hung out with a contract killer.

There are plenty of unique twists and turns in The Matador, but to go into much more detail would ruin the fun of this cleverly scripted comedy. Written and directed by Richard Shepard, best known for the direct to video thriller Oxygen, The Matador never goes where you expect it to. The rare unpredictability of The Matador is its charm. Shepard scripts the film with an eye on what is expected in each scene and turns every predictable scene on it's ear.

Pierce Brosnan is attempting to start a brand new career post-James Bond and The Matador is an excellent start. While his comic skills are suspect--he never seems quite comfortable delivering a joke--Brosnan is undeniably handsome and charismatic and that kind of charm can carry an actor along way. Brosnan is aided by a deft and clever script that never tries for big laughs but rather quiet, appreciative smiles as satisfying as big guffaws.

Greg Kinnear and Hope Davis are well cast as a married couple who have never lost the spark of first love. Writer-director Shepard gives both actors a great deal to play with and trusts his actors to make the material come off the page. Because most of the film is made up of smart, funny, dialogue without the kind of dramatic flourishes or overstated comic setups you might expect from a film of the action-comedy genre that The Matador is haphazardly included within. Davis and Kinnear find a lovely beat to play within the familiar genre elements of The Matador and their chemistry is exceptional. 

The Matador plays a little like "David Mamet lite". Drop the expletives (there are a few but not of the Mamet degree), keep the sharp wordplay, and whip smart plotting and you have a movie that resembles Mamet while displaying a light comic touch that establishes the film as a Richard Shepard original.  The real delight of The Matador are the three principle stars who bite into this smart material with gusto. 

These are tough roles which, in the commercials, and the film's trailers are played up as broadly comic but are in fact quieter and more cerebral. Yes, the performances tickle at times and draw more than a few good laughs but the most effort is put into establishing these characters and the universe they inhabit as something plausibly close to reality.

One of the last films of the Weinstein/Miramax-Disney partnership, The Matador only suffers the lack of full support by one studio giving it the marketing attention it deserves. But aside from that, The Matador is a wonderfully clever comic thriller that gives three terrific actors three exceptional roles that each knocks out of the park. For audiences looking for smart funny adult-minded movies, The Matador is a gift.

Movie Review: The Marine

The Marine (2006) 

Directed by John Bonito 

Written by Michelle Gallagher, Alan B McElroy 

Starring John Cena, Kelly Carlson, Robert Patrick 

Release Date October 13th, 2006 

Published October 12th, 2006 

WWE films has been in business for just about a year with two features under their belt. The model seems to be Lionsgate or the former Miramax genre arm Dimension. Cheap genre pictures that succeed or fail by the popularity of the WWE superstar assigned the starring role. The first WWE feature See No Evil starring Glen 'Kane' Jacobs cost a mere 15 million dollars to make and is headed for DVD soon already having made returns on its small budget.

The latest WWE feaure, The Marine, is a bigger deal for the WWE because this one stars the standard bearer of the company, World Champion John Cena. Once again the film is a cheaply made genre picture whose key is turning out WWE fans, regardless of whether the film is yet another Ed Wood quality sub-drive in movie.

In Iraq 2006 three marines have been taken hostage and Sgt. John Triton (John Cena) has discovered where they are being held. Though he is ordered to await backup, Triton takes it upon himself to rescue the hostages. Returning safely to base, Triton is a hero but his violation of a direct order has forced commanders to give him a dishonorable discharge.

Returning to his civilian life, with his beautiful wife Kate (Kelly Carlson), Triton finds the life of a regular joe just doesn't agree with him. After John gets fired from his first job, on his first day, his wife suggests they  take a road trip. This fateful decision finds John and Kate at an out of the way gas station in South Carolina just as a group of diamond thieves, lead by Rome (Robert Patrick), have arrived with the cops on their tail. When the thieves engage the cops and kill three people they go on to take Kate hostage. Now John Triton must use his marine training to track down and kill the bad guys and rescue his wife.

The Marine is an old school, 80's style action picture that fires copious amounts of bullets and blows up anything in its path. However, because the film is hemmed in by a PG-13 rating; much of the fun of this level of carnage is left on the cutting room floor. What is left on the screen is a goofy faux action picture that leaves star John Cena dangling in the wind employing his wrestling skills to provide the films only jolts of fun.

Cena, the current WWE champion, is not a great actor. That could probably be taken for granted but his limitations become clear by the fact that though he is the star of the picture, Cena has fewer lines than top bad guy Robert Patrick and even Patrick's goofball henchmen played by Jerome Ehlers and Anthony Ray Parker. It's clear that the edit of The Marine was engineered to hide Cena's shortcomings as an actor and that meant cutting as much of his dialogue as possible. 

There is so little that Cena can do onscreen, aside from run and fight, that the minor henchman played by Anthony Ray Parker is given as much screen time and even a bizarre monologue. Parker is given a scene all to himself, early in the picture, the subject of which is his love of racial conspiracy and his hatred of rock candy. How awful must Cena have truly been that director John Bonito felt Parker's scenes should be left in and much of Cena's dialogue was cut.

There is little appeal to The Marine beyond kitsch and a touch of nostalgia. There is a distinct Ed Wood or even early Russ Meyer quality to The Marine that is entertaining in a so bad it's good kind of way. Had the filmmakers had the guts to give the film a slightly bigger body count and some naked female flesh we could be talking about a camp classic. There is a nostalgia for the old school 80's action flick, ala Commando or Rambo 2 & 3, that some might find charming in an ironic way.

Robert Patrick does goose the film a bit with a performance reminiscent of Christopher Walken at his most loopy but without the self awareness. Patrick is actually committed to this goofball performance where Walken always has the slightest wink to let the audience know that he's in on the joke. Patrick is not in on the joke that is The Marine and thus, though he is at times bizarrely entertaining, he looks as foolish as the rest of the cast and crew of The Marine.

A hint of self awareness; a slight level of intended kink, and maybe there could be some hope for The Marine. Unfortunately, the film is played straight as if it were a semi-serious attempt to thrill action audiences. That does give the film a slight kitsch appeal but the film is not smarmy enough to take advantage of the kitsch. That leaves just a bunch of explosions and the WWE champion who is not unappealing but should probably limit his acting to faking punches in the ring.

Movie Review The Manchurian Candidate

The Manchurian Candidate (2004)

Directed by Jonathan Demme 

Written by Daniel Pyne, Dean Georgaris 

Starring Denzel Washington, Meryl Streep, Liev Schreiber, Jon Voight, Kimberly Elise 

Release Date July 30th, 2004 

Published July 29th, 2004 

The 1962 original The Manchurian Candidate, directed by John Frankenheimer and starring Frank Sinatra, is an unmitigated classic. The film was the brainchild of Sinatra who saw in the complicated satire a chance at an acting comeback after a series of flops. Boy was he ever right, the film brought Sinatra back to prominence as an actor. Despite being pulled from release for 24 years after the assassination of President Kennedy, the film remained a classic.

Denzel Washington, starring in the 2004 take on The Manchurian Candidate, has no need for a comeback. He is clearly at the top of game. His director, Jonathan Demme, on the other hand could use a hit after his disastrous remake of Charade in 2002. For the record, The Truth About Charlie was not nearly as bad as the way it's producers dumped it into release. Why Demme would do a remake as his "comeback" is a fair question. Let's just be glad he did because his modernized version is the rare remake that doesn't dishonor the original.

Major Bennett Marco (Washington) is a decorated veteran of the first Gulf war. Though he seems to have it all together he is secretly plagued by nightmares that bring his memories of battle into question. Marco is not alone, other members of his squad who were involved in a memorable incident while on a recon mission in Kuwait have been having the same nightmares. Private Al Melvin (Jeffrey Wright) is slowly being driven insane by his nightmares, which mirror Marco's.

Both remember the incident in which their squad was attacked by what they thought were Iraqi militia members. Both were knocked unconscious and their lives were saved by Sgt. Raymond Shaw (Liev Schreiber), who went on to receive the medal of honor because of Marco's recommendation. However, both Marco and Melvin's nightmares play out a different scenario in which Shaw was never a hero, but in fact the entire squad was taken hostage by someone other than Iraqi militants. They were taken to a hospital and reprogrammed and two other members of the squad were murdered.

For his part, Sgt. Shaw is now Senator Shaw, a rising star in his unnamed political party (I think he's a Democrat but it's never spoken of aloud). Shaw is on the verge of being nominated for the Vice Presidency thanks to the backstage machinations of his determined mother, Senator Eleanor Shaw. Raymond also has strange nightmares about brain implants and mind control. As he confesses to Marco midway through the film, he can remember the mission as he has been told of his heroic actions but can't actually remember doing the heroic actions attributed to him.

As the plot unfolds, the mystery is whether Marco is just paranoid or if the things he dreamt about actually happened. We believe Marco because we see what he sees but it's easy for characters in the film to dismiss him especially as Marco grows more and more erratic. We also are privy to things he is not such as the behind the scenes meetings between Mrs. Shaw and the mysterious executives of Manchurian Global. Manchurian Global is a company that profits from America's foreign policy decisions by essentially betting on wars in the stock market.

The parallels with the real life Carlyle Group or Halliburton are completely intentional. Where the original The Manchurian Candidate played on our fears of the Cold War, this new version makes corporations the sinister forces working behind the scenes to rig our system in their favor. It's scarier if you've seen Fahrenheit 9/11and have seen the back room connections between the current administration, Carlyle and Halliburton. Of course, much of what these real life companies do is quite well known and helps you realize that you don't need a sleeper assassin to put your company man in the White House. All you need is a big enough checkbook.

The Manchurian Candidate is not meant to perfectly reflect reality but rather just fan the flames of conspiracy-minded moviegoers. Who doesn't love conspiracies?

The Manchurian Candidate 2004 is a paranoid potboiler with a complex plot and enough solid twists and turns to keep audiences glued to their seats. Who better than Denzel to lead us through all of the film’s complexities? His winning personality, charisma and believably carry us over a number of plot holes. Watch closely his relationship with Rosie, played by Kimberly Elise. Late in the film it hints at a whole other layer to the film’s dense plot and will make you pay to see it again.

Meryl Streep is perfectly on point in a role that won Angela Lansbury an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress in 1962. Streep should also be on track for a nomination as she is the perfect choice for this Machiavellian mother from hell. Most have drawn odd comparisons with Hillary Clinton, although a better more accurate comparison might be Lady MacBeth with her lust for power and willingness to kill to get it. Not to mention the hinted at but little seen incestuousness between Mom and Son which mirrors another historic text.

Jonathan Demme's direction has not been this solid since The Silence Of The Lambs. Those who thought he had lost his touch will be turned around after watching the way he twists and turns the audience with one smart set piece after another.

True, there are plenty of holes in this plot. The script adapted by Daniel Pyne is like a sweater that could unravel with the tug of a string for a long enough period of time. It's best not to dwell on character motivations and small plot points and focus on the stronger elements of the film like it's performances and the timeliness of its references.

Movie Review: The Man

The Man (2005) 

Directed by Les Mayfield 

Written by Jim Piddick, Stephen Carpenter

Starring Samuel L. Jackson, Eugene Levy. Miguel Ferrer, Luke Goss, Anthony Mackie 

Release Date September 9th, 2005 

Published September 8th, 2005 

Both Samuel L. Jackson and Eugene Levy have appeared in some very bad movies. Jackson has missed a number of opportunities to establish himself as an above the title star by choosing to star in subpar films like No Good Deed and Formula 51 and worse choices accepting supporting roles in bad movies like Twisted, Deep Blue Sea and Basic. 

Eugene Levy has always been a dependable supporting player but roles in bad movies like Bringing Down The House, New York Minute, and Like Mike have some wishing he would only accept work with his good friend Christopher Guest where Levy really excels. Given the actors' track records teaming them in a buddy comedy did not exactly scream hit movie. The Man is not as bad as some of their previous poor outings but certainly not among either actor's highlights.

In The Man Samuel L. Jackson essays the kind of take-no-crap badass cop, ATF agent Derrick Vann, that has become his own personal cliché. When a cache of guns is stolen and a cop is found dead it's up to Agent Vann to find who did it. In his take-no-prisoners way, Vann quickly gets a bead on the bad guys but he is about to be derailed in a most unexpected way.

Andy Fidlar (Eugene Levy) is a good husband and father who loves his job selling dental supplies. The pinnacle of Andy's career is a speech he is going to give in Detroit in front of hundreds of colleagues. Unfortunately for Andy things do not go as planned as he ends up at the wrong place at the wrong time. Accidentally intercepting Agent Vann's meeting with the bad guys, Andy now must join Vann to bring down the bad guys but only if Vann can resist the urge to kill the annoying and bumbling Andy.

The plot of The Man is established quickly and efficiently with characters suitably introduced and motivations well understood. Credit director Les Mayfield whose strength is in his quick pacing as he showed in the comedies Blue Streak and Encino Man. At 87 minutes The Man is another example of Mayfield's talent for efficient film-making.

Of course efficiency alone does not a great film make. Mayfield's quick pace has a lot to do with the film's very thin story. The plot is about puddle deep and relies heavily on well-worn clichés and the likability of Jackson and Levy. The script does neither actor many favors. It's a very flimsy premise and writers Jim Piddock, Margeret Oberman and Stephen Carpenter also resort to bathroom humor and light gay bashing. Call it the trifecta of bad screenwriting.

Even in this clichéd story both stars remain appealing. Jackson's taciturn bad-ass is overly familiar but not without its entertaining moments. Levy's chatterbox obliviousness has most of the film's funniest moments, though, like Jackson's cop character, we have seen Levy do this before. The mismatched buddy humor works occasionally in The Man simply because both actors are so talented.

In scenes where Jackson and Levy bond unintentionally thetwo actors show a talent for elevating material that is often well below their respective talents. If The Man has any moments of solid humor it is because both actors work hard to bring life to the material, something they can almost always be depended on for. In the merely functional role of the bad guy little known British actor Luke Goss acquits himself about as well as he can given the dull witted way the character was written. Goss has little to do but exist as a rerun of bad guys past. His role is distinguished only by moments where Goss and Levy trade confused tough guy dialogue. It's only two or three scenes but Goss at least shows up well enough not to be embarrassed.

The same cannot be said of supporting roles for Saturday Night Live's Horatio Sanz, comedian Suzy Essman, and Miguel Ferrer all of whom are stuck with commonplace roles indistinguishable from lame TV tropes of similar characters. The Man is not as bad as many of the horrible films released in 2005 and that is owed entirely to Samuel L. Jackson and Eugene Levy. Even in a bad movie both actors remain entertaining. If both were to fire their agents and focus on finding better material maybe they could work together again in a film worthy of such strong and appealing talents.

Movie Review Get Smart

Get Smart (2008) 

Directed by Peter Segal 

Written by Tom Astle, Matt Ember 

Starring Steve Carell, Anne Hathaway, Dwayne The Rock Johnson, Alan Arkin, James Caan, Terrence Stamp

Release Date June 20th, 2008 

Published June 19th, 2008 

Steve Carell's clueless guy act is beginning to wear thin. But, one last big shot of that persona isn't so bad. The cluelessness of this Carell character happens to be a necessity for the legendary character Carell is playing in Get Smart. In Get Smart, Steve Carell is playing Maxwell Smart the fictional center of the 60's TV show Get Smart whose best known for his bumbling, oblivious, cluelessness. So, one last time Steve Carell, throw on that blank mug, that beatific smile, and that air of unearned confidence and we will laugh along with you.

Maxwell Smart is Control's top analyst. His assessment of terrorist activities is beyond detailed. He knows what major terrorists take in their coffee. He hopes this attention to detail and hard work will earn him a promotion to field agent for Control in their continuing battle with CHAOS, the international terror group bent on global domination. Unfortunately for Max his promotion is denied until a CHAOS attack on Control leaves much of the agent roster dead. Now Max will have to go into the field and with the aid of Agent 99 (Anne Hathaway), he will be asked to track down the nuclear weapons obtained by CHAOS head Siegfried (Terrence Stamp), and his number 2 man Shtarker (Ken Davitan).

That Max and Agent 99 develop a flirtation and eventually a little romance is something you may initially reject, Carell and Hathaway don't look like a great match, but by the end of Get Smart I was not only believing in the romance, but actively rooting for it. It's one of a surprising many things that director Peter Segal gets right in Get Smart. Segal, a veteran of Adam Sandler features, has never shown much skill for good storytelling. In Get Smart however, Segal seems more assured, mature, and prepared. It helps to have strong special effects and a great cast that also includesAlan Arkin, Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson, and David Koechner, but Segal really does quite a good job directing this remarkable collection of talent. 

Having only seen a few reruns of Get Smart over the years I cannot claim to know the series in anything but the most vague terms. That said, of what I know of the show the new Get Smart hits a few of the right notes. Carell's Max hits the catchphrases, "Missed It By That Much" and "Sorry Chief", with precision. If Carell's Max is slightly less bumbling than Don Adams' original it's likely a necessity given the complex stunts and effects that far outstrip the far smaller scale TV show

Alright Steve Carell, now it's time for you to show us something. Get Smart was a lot of fun. Now let's find a new comic persona and do something different. It was a good run as the genial doofus, now I want to see something closer to your Little Miss Sunshine character, though less suicidal. It doesn't have to be too radical a departure, just something slightly less doofus. You've done well with the doofus thing, but now you can effectively leave it behind. 

At Least on the big screen, a couple more seasons on The Office is fine with me.

Movie Review: The Lovely Bones

The Lovely Bones (2009) 

Directed by Peter Jackson

Written by Peter Jackson, Phillippa Boyens, Fran Walsh (Based on the novel by Alice Sebold)

Starring Saorise Ronan, Mark Wahlberg, Stanley Tucci, Rachel Weisz, Susan Sarandon 

Release Date December 11th, 2009 

Published December 8th, 2009 

I have a general detachment from emotion. It's a guard against a young child version of me who was too invested in his emotions and was known to burst into tears at unfortunate moments. Other kids' reactions to my outbursts drove me inward to the man I am today. I am not cold-hearted, just well controlled, guarded. Peter Jackson's “The Lovely Bones” is the rare film that broke through my guards and tapped the well of that emotional young man I was.

The story of Susie Salmon (Oscar nominee Saorise Ronan, “Atonement”) begins with her narration explaining that her name is Salmon, like the fish communicating her innocence and her eager to please nature answering a question no one asked. She then stops you in your tracks with a matter of fact statement: "I was 14 years old when I was murdered on December 6th 1973.

From that moment on “The Lovely Bones” unfolds a story of murder, sadness and heartbreaking purity. After revealing her murderer as a neighbor named George Harvey (Stanley Tucci) Susie narrates her story from a place called The In-Between, a place between heaven and earth constructed from Susie's imagination.

Peter Jackson animates Susie's heaven with artistry absent from even his “Lord of the Rings” movies. For the first time in his career Jackson makes use of film tech to deepen his subject, not merely to animate it. The stunning landscapes of Susie's In-Between are eye popping and reveal aspects of her nature, her innocence, her longings and unfulfilled desires. A crumbling gazebo holds a particular emotional attachment that I will leave you to discover.

From her In-Between Susie watches how her death impacts her family. Her father Jack becomes so consumed with catching her killer that he barely notices his wife Abigail (Rachel Weisz) is drifting away. It's not until her cab leaves for the airport that Jack realizes she is gone. Susie also watches her killer, George Harvey. He has a past filled with other murders but for some reason Susie's murder has a particular hold on his conscience. He spends hours alone seeming to re-live each moment, moments thankfully unseen by us in the audience. The choice to leave the cruel details to our imagination is a controversial one; the book by Alice Sebold went into obsessive detail.

For me, leaving Susie's suffering to the imagination was the right call; I doubt that I could have endured watching the effervescent Ms. Ronan suffering as described in the book. We are given enough detail to construct the horror for ourselves and that is more than enough. Transformed by make-up Stanley Tucci crafts a killer of remarkable repugnance. Today, George Harvey would be the poster boy for creepy. He looks like the picture of someone who murders children. A mumbling, ill at-ease creep, George Harvey sets off alarm bells for his simple lack of social skills. In the 1973 of the film however, he's just a slightly off shut-in, on the surface.

Once he becomes suspect number one, for Jack and daughter Lindsey (Rose McIver), who joins her dad's obsessive crusade, the film takes on a pseudo murder mystery feel that enlivens the middle portion of the film. We know he did it, they think he did it and we become desperately involved in trying to will the characters to the clues we know are there. This clever bit of populist narrative is just one of Peter Jackson's wise choices. Jackson has made an art film, crossed it with a thriller and topped it all with a deeply emotional story of coming of age. It's almost too much for one film to hold, changing scenes as this does from Susie's gorgeous art-scape to George Harvey's dark chambers to the Salmon house consumed by grief and the urgent search for justice.

Only a director as bold and daring as Peter Jackson could pull off such a trick. His experience with the “Lord of the Rings” informs a good deal of “The Lovely Bones.” In LOTR Jackson used technology as a construction device. In “The Lovely Bones” that construction device becomes a painter's brush and the technology melts into the subconscious aiding as much in storytelling as in craftsmanship. Unlike George Lucas or James Cameron for whom CGI remains a carpenter’s tool, Jackson sees technology in “The Lovely Bones” as something to be woven into the fabric of storytelling. Susie's In-Between is never merely a place; it's the state of her soul where her imagination and desires take a physical hold.

Technology, story and character unite in “The Lovely Bones” to create a deeply emotional experience that transports you into the sadness of a little girl gone before her time. An examination of grief, unfulfilled desires, love and death, “The Lovely Bones” is one of the most daring and original works in years and one of the best films of the last year.

Movie Review: The Love Guru

The Love Guru (2008) 

Directed by Marco Schnabel 

Written by Mike Myers, Graham Gordy 

Starring Mike Myers, Justin Timberlake, Romany Malco, Jessica Alba 

Release Date June 20th, 2008 

Published June 19th, 2008 

Memo to comedy writers and directors: Just because a character in a movie does a particular thing, does not make that thing funny. For example, in the new "comedy" The Love Guru co-written by and starring Mike Myers, just because Myers' Guru Pitka fights a man with a urine soaked mop and ends up hit in the face with said mop does not make the action of getting hit with a urine soaked mop funny.

The Love Guru operates entirely under the delusion of it's own brilliance. The Love Guru stars Mike Myers as the world's number 2 guru, behind Deepak Chopra, Guru Pitka is the character's name and Myers is as offensively caricaturing Indian culture as you imagine. The Love Guru proceeds from scene to scene making one joke about genitalia after another assuming each is funnier than the next because Myers himself seems so entertained by the joke.

One of the hallmarks of The Love Guru is Myers' enjoyment of his own humor. Guru Pitka is almost always the first to laugh at his own jokes and it isn't a stretch to imagine that Myers as well is the first to laugh at the jokes he wrote for himself. What accounts for a plot in The Love Guru involves a star hockey player, Darren Roanoke (Romany Malco), who stinks on ice after his wife, Prudence (Meagan Good), leaves him for a rival goalie, Jaques 'Le Coq' Grande (Justin Timberlake). Are you laughing yet? I know I wasn't. 

The Guru Pitka is hired by the owner of the hockey team, Jane Bullard (Jessica Alba), to try and reunite the hockey star with his lady love and by extension help him regain his ability to play hockey like the star he once was. Guru Pitka believes that if he he accomplishes the task of rescuing this hockey player's lost mojo, he will earn a coveted slot on the Oprah Winfrey show and a chance to surpass his nemesis Deepak Chopra as the world's number one guru.

You can call that a plot, I've gone to great effort to make it read like one for my own sake. In reality however, the film is really just a sloppy, irredeemable mess of penis jokes, poo jokes and other such lowbrow bits that are broken up briefly Myers' attempt to convince us that Guru Pitka could romance Jessica Alba. I would have a hard time believing Myers without this silly character would be able to date Jessica Alba, asking us to believe that she would be interested in Myers as this offensive caricature of a character is a disservice to both our intelligence and Ms. Alba's integrity. 

Do you know how I can tell Jessica Alba is a good actress, because she doesn't reflexively wretch when Myers is doing his shtick. That she can vaguely feign romantic interest in the character of Pitka is an acting feat that no actress could pull off. Alba is thoroughly defeated by the task but she gives it more of an effort than most would. Her professionalism is to be commended even it is unwarranted for this lowbrow awfulness. 

I realize that Vern Troyer considers Mike Myers his friend and that he's up for the kinds of gags Myers likes to do, but his casting here as the coach of the hockey team is a perfect example of what makes The Love Guru so awful. Myers thinks it is simply funny that a little person exists in the world. That's it, that's the joke for Mike Myers and my evidence is every joke related to Vern Troyer in The Love Guru. Myers simply thinks the existence of a man of Vern Troyer's size is funny and he gets away with it because Troyer willingly goes along with the gag and we've allowed Myers to get away with it. 

Idiotic to an ungodly degree, mindless and insulting, The Love Guru will rank among the years worst films of 2008. 

Movie Review Get Rich or Die Tryin'

Get Rich or Die Trying (2005) 

Directed by Jim Sheridan 

Written by Terrence Winter 

Starring 50 Cent, Terrence Howard, Joy Bryant, Bill Duke, Viola Davis 

Release Date November 9th, 2005

Published November 8th, 2005 

Right off the bat I should say that I am not a big fan of rapper 50 Cent. I enjoyed his breakthrough hit "In Da Club" despite it's subsequent ubiquity in every nightclub in the country. His follow ups have been in ever declining quality since. I have a great deal of respect for his rise from a drug dealer on the streets to a millionaire superstar and the tenacity and determination it must have taken to survive being shot nine times.

With that said, his film debut Get Rich Or Die Tryin' reminds me of his most recent CD's. Irrelevant, mainstream ego polishing that only intends to burnish the image of an already rich and successful superstar. If the film were more entertaining you could forgive that, but as it is Get Rich Or Die Tryin' is simply an exercise in vanity and finance.

In Get Rich or Die Tryin' 50 Cent plays a composite character version of his real self, Marcus aka Black Caesar, his rap nickname. Marcus grew up on the streets of Brooklyn, New York, the son of a drug dealing single mother who was murdered when he was 12 years old in a turf war. Young Marcus soon joins the family business slinging cocaine on street corners, eventually earning himself a place in a drug syndicate headed up by Levar (Bill Duke) and his second in command, Majestic (Adewale Akinnouye-Agbaje), both of whom knew his mother.

Given his own territory and crew, including his childhood friends Antwan (Ashley Waters) and Keryl (Omar Benson Miller) and a newcomer named Justice (Tory Kittles), Marcus quickly becomes a big earner and a bigger target. Marcus is the target of not only cops but other gangs and even members of his own syndicate. A rivalry with Colombian dealers is a particularly dangerous situation that nearly takes the life of one of the members of his crew.

Eventually, as happens to most small time dealers, Marcus gets picked up by the cops and goes to prison. While in the joint he meets Bama (Terrence Howard), who saves his life during a knife fight. Bama encourages Marcus's life's dream to become a rapper and when the two are released Bama becomes the manager of Marcus' new career. This new career path includes leaving behind the syndicate much to the chagrin of Majestic who becomes a dangerous enemy.

Along the way, before he went to prison, Marcus falls for the beautiful Charlene (Joy Bryant). The two had been close friends as kids before she was sent away to live with relatives at a young age. Marcus sees Charlene on the street one day and the attraction is fully renewed. The two soon have a child on the way, yet another reason for Marcus to want to put his dangerous past behind him.

Directed by the venerable Irish director Jim Sheridan, Get Rich Or Die Tryin' tells Marcus' story from his first person perspective. The movie is about Marcus and is only vaguely an allegory for the struggle of the average inner city kid. Sheridan has some big ideas he wants to express and points he wants to make about poverty and struggle but his subject is only vaguely interesting.

The life of Curtis '50 Cent' Jackson has certainly been dramatic: his mother's death, his becoming a drug dealer at the age of 12, his having been shot nine times and surviving to become a world wide superstar. That is dramatic stuff.  So why is the movie so subdued and slightly mundane? The fault lies with Jackson.  His performance is passive to the point of non-involvement. For a world renowned superstar Jackson is surprisingly lacking in charisma even when on the microphone rapping.

Jackson is hurt further by acting opposite the excellent Terrence Howard. Not only does Howard outshine Jackson in this film about Jackson's own life but Howard's performance earlier this year in Hustle and Flow showed him to be an even more exciting rapper than Jackson.

Director Jim Sheridan was attracted to the idea of telling this story because he found parallels between the crime and poverty of inner city America and the blood drenched streets of his Irish youth at the height of religious and political warfare involving the Irish Republican Army. The comparison is relatively fair in terms of the violence and death involved in the lives of both but will the audience for Get Rich Or Die Tryin' care or even be aware of the comparison?

The most appealing part of Get Rich Or Die Tryin' is the soundtrack made up entirely of 50 Cent's music from his CD of the same title-- above average work for 50 Cent's most recent career efforts. However, there is not nearly as much time spent recording raps as there are scenes of the marble mouthed rapper's garbled gangster dialogue. 50 Cent's voice may be a plus in his rap career but it does nothing for his acting career. What music there is is okay but not great and nothing to match 50 Cent's breakthrough single.

Comparisons to Eminem's rap bio-pic 8 Mile are inevitable and I agree with the consensus that 8 Mile is the better of the two. But Get Rich Or Die Tryin' pales in other comparisons as well. In terms of movies about rap and hip hop, the music of Hustle and Flow blows away anything in Get Rich Or Die Tryin'. As far as movies about the struggles of the inner city gangster, 2004's Never Die Alone is better in terms of gritty urban violence and Boyz In The Hood remains the most lasting and impactful story of inner city struggle.

The fact is that the story of Get Rich Or Die Tryin would never be told if it were not the life story of a multi-platinum rap superstar. The story is relatively mundane when put alongside films of similar inner city settings. The violence in Get Rich Or Die Tryin' is anti-climactic and aside from Marcus' being shot nine times, the violence has little if any emotional impact. In interviews about reenacting having been shot nine times 50 Cent has said that the scene was not hard emotionally and he acts it as if it weren't that difficult.

Get Rich Or Die Tryin' is supposedly controversial for its violence, but the only thing interesting about the violence in this film is the indifference of the characters toward that violence. I would like to believe that the blase attitude the characters take toward violence is a function of the characters having become inured to it from having grown up with it their entire lives. However, my impression was that that the attitude was more a result of 50 Cent's cyborg-like performance. No fear, excitement or pain registers on 50 Cent's face no matter what happens to him, even having nine bullets pumped into him.

For a more unique view of 50 Cent's life and an unauthorized one at that, take a look at the new documentary 50 Cent: Refuse 2 Die from New Line Home Video. The doc claims to tell the real story of 50 Cent, his family, and his rise to the top of the rap game. I can't speak to the accuracy of Refuse 2 Die but I can tell you that it is more interesting than the fictionalized, sentimentalized version of 50 Cent's life depicted in Get Rich Or Die Tryin'.

Movie Review: The Losers

The Losers (2010) 

Directed by Sylvain White 

Written by Peter Berg, James Vanderbilt 

Starring Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Idris Elba, Zoe Saldana, Chris Evans, Columbus Short 

Release Date April 23rd, 2010 

Published April 22nd, 2010 

A ragtag band of America's best soldiers are burned by unknown superiors and forced to go outside the law to get their lives back. “The A-Team?” No, “The Losers” starring Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Idris Elba and Zoe Saldana. Oh but don't worry, this isn't some derivative waste of celluloid, it's merely a boring rehash of tired cliches dressed up in music video edits and big explosions. OK, yeah that is rather derivative.

Clay (Morgan) is the leader of “The Losers,” a group of Special Forces soldiers whose latest mission  involves taking down a hostage taking drug dealer somewhere in South America. The mission is a lie. Instead, the man is a puppet that some CIA spook wants out of the way. The bad guy hides behind a large group of orphans to hold off people like The Losers. When Clay and his team, tech expert Jensen (Chris Evans), Second in Command Roque (Idris Elba), pilot Pooch (Columbus Short) and sharp shooter Cougar (Oscar Janaeda), find the kids they decide to rescue them. The rescue goes bad when the CIA decides to eliminate “The Losers” and instead eliminate the little kids.

Trapped in South America with no passports, identification or cash, “The Losers” seem resigned to their fate until an encounter with a mysterious woman. Her name is Aisha (Zoe Saldana) and she knows who burned “The Losers” and how they can find him and though her motives and origin are suspicious it doesn't stop Clay from falling into bed with her. ”The Losers” has a certain charm to it, especially in the loose, fun performance of future “Captain America” Chris Evans, but for the most part it lags because there is just nothing new here. “The Losers” is filled to overflow with been there, done that action set pieces and dull, lifeless effects and quick edits.

Jeffrey Dean Morgan is solid actor with a strong, manly appeal. His weathered mug and half smile seem built for gritty, grunge action movies. Too bad for him that “The Losers” is a slick, lifeless effects movie and not the kind of grungy, punk rock war movie that might suit Morgan and his performance here far better. That said, Morgan has a great sexual chemistry with “Avatar” angel Zoe Saldana and their sex scene is arguably the only reason to see “The Losers.”

Sadly, this movie is not about watching good looking people get down. Rather, The Losers is a lame caper flick in which the caper isn't very clever or original and the film-making is derivative and dull. “The Losers,” I am told, is based on a popular series of comic books. I am further told that many of the frames in the film are modeled on actual panels from the comic. This is notable for comics fans and entirely inconsequential for me. Maybe we should check out the comic and skip “The Losers” movie.

Movie Review The Longshots

The Longshots (2008) 

Directed by Fred Durst 

Written by Nick Santora, Doug Atchison 

Starring Ice Cube, Keke Palmer, Dash Mihok, Tasha Smith, Matt Craven 

Release Date August 22nd, 2008 

Published August 21st, 2008 

"Zzzz" Zzzz" Huh, what. Oh. Right. I am reviewing The Longshots starring (Yawn) Ice Cube and Keke Palmer. "Zzzz" "Zzzz". Oh. Sorry. Even thinking about this sports movie snoozefest makes me nod off. It's not that The Longshots isn't appealing or well crafted, it's just not all that interesting. A girl quarterback is novel and the true story thing makes it more novel. Beyond that however, the film, directed by (I kid you not) former Limp Bizkit rocker Fred Durst, is a by the numbers sports movie filled with all of the uplift, pomp and circumstance typical to the genre.

Ice Cube stars as Curtis, a layabout former high school football stud whose life just didn't pan out. Now a neighborhood cautionary tale, Curtis is pushed by his sister to take an interest in his niece Jasmine. They have little in common. When one day Curtis tempts Jasmine into throwing the football with him he finds her surprisingly adept.

Curtis decides to nurture her talent and before long she is throwing with more power and accuracy than most boys her age. Curtis decides to get her a shot with a local pop warner team. Coach Warner (Matt Craven) is, not surprisingly, dubious of the girl's talent but is soon won over. The team stinks anyway, why not a girl quarterback. Jasmine gets a shot and whaddaya know, the team starts winning.

You can plot the rest of the movie in your head. There is a subplot with Jasmine's no good, deadbeat father. That plot, like the main sports story, plays out in just the same by the numbers fashion. Clearly, Fred Durst and writer Nick Santora have read their McKee books. They plot everything on a flow chart and never deviate. Predictability quickly gives way to boredom in The Longshots and boredom is a sin no film can survive.

Keke Palmer is a young actress with a very bright future. She however, needs to choose the right roles. Akeelah and the Bee, definitely the right role. The Longshots? Not so much. It's not that she doesn't perform well. It is rather that she is forgotten amidst the supremely dull presaged plot. No actress, no matter how engaging, can overcome a plot as rote and uneventful as that of The Longshots.

(Yawn) The Longshots is a devastatingly dull sports movie. Despite the very talented Keke Palmer and the likable Ice Cube, this movie was DOA. Director Fred Durst and writer Nick Santora doomed this project when they failed to find something more to do with this plot beyond adhering to every melodramatic, sports movie cliche in the book.

Movie Review: The Lookout

The Lookout (2007) 

Directed by Scott Frank

Written by Scott Frank

Starring Joseph Gordon Levitt, Jeff Daniels, Matthew Goode, Isla Fisher

Release Date March 30th, 2007 

Published March 29th, 2007 

Scott Frank made his name adapting the work of Elmore Leonard for the big screen. In fact, no other writer in the business has been able to so well capture Leonard's unique rhythm and humor as well as Scott Frank has. His scripts for Get Shorty and Out of Sight were smart and sophisticated Hollywood concoctions with perfectly executed mousetrap plots. Now working on his first outing as a writer-director,The Lookout, Frank brings the same smart sophisticated approach; minus the Elmore Leonard-isms but just as entertaining.

Chris Pratt had life by the tail. As a teenage hockey star he had a college scholarship all lined up. He had a beautiful girlfriend and a rich family to make certain that a life of ease awaited him. That life was shattered in one fateful moment. Driving drunk with his girlfriend and two friends on a desolate country road, Chris gets into a horrendous car accident. His friends were killed, his girlfriend lost a leg. As for Chris he lost his mind.

Not in the colloquial sense, but rather literally. Chris lost some of his brain and the ability to remember even his most recent activities. No more hockey. No more girlfriend and even his rich family has receded. Chris is left with his pain and a scar on his forehead. Now working nights cleaning a bank branch and living in a tiny apartment with a blind man (Jeff Daniels) for a roommate, Chris lives day to day off the little notes he must write himself in order to remember anything.

On one particularly frustrating night Chris doesn't go home. Instead he goes to a small town bar where he meets a sweet young girl named Luvlee (Isla Fisher) who thankfully doesn't seem to know who he is. Her friend Gary however, immediately recognizes Chris, they went to High School together. Gary shows Chris a little kindness and friendship and soon Chris has a whole new circle of friends. Unfortunately, Chris's new friends have ulterior motives. Gary and his gang are looking to rob a bank and with Chris's access to a local bank he's the perfect patsy.

That is the surface plot of The Lookout but the substance comes in the performance of rising star Joseph Gordon Levitt. An underappreciated young talent from his days on TV's bizarro alien comedy Third Rock From The Sun, Levitt has made an astonishing transition to indie films with three mind blowing performances. In Mysterious Skin he went into the heart of a teenage gay hustler with heartbreaking results.

In 2006 he starred in the popular indie noir Brick, a film that took a classic forties mystery plot into the halls of a modern high school. Now comes his most full bodied adult performance in The Lookout. Here Levitt plays wounded with such precision and heart rending truth that you can't help but be drawn into his world. As his new friends begin to take advantage of him your rooting interest is so invested that you move to the edge of your seat for the rest of the film.

Director Scott Frank amps up the tension by crafting a tight narrative with no fat, no extranneous elements. What is on the screen in The Lookout is only what is necessary to create this tense, clockwork plot. This no frills approach works to never let the air out of the room. Every scene has a near perfect level of tense pressure

The obvious comparison for The lookout is another tense, exciting short term memory based thriller, 2000's Memento. Both films examine unique characters through the prism of their limitations and finds the truth of their natures. Memento is the more artistically accomplished film but The Lookout is definitely the equal of Memento in terms of entertainment value.

A taut, pulse pounding thriller,The Lookout is smarter than most films of this abused genre. The thriller, much like the romantic comedy and the horror movie, has in recent years, given in to very simple, recognizable formula. Thrillers play out typical, easy to digest plots where one overwhelmed character takes on bad guys and uses standard thriller practices to overcome rote, prototypical villains.

Some filmmakers augment the typicality of the thriller with sleeze. Scott Frank in The Lookout overcomes the expectations of the genre by being smarter and more cunning than most. Combining a talented cast with a subversive plot and just the right amount of violence, The Lookout is set apart from other thrillers by moxie and brains.

The Lookout is one of the best films of 2007. A smart, savvy thriller that benefits greatly from the rising talent of star Joseph Gordon Levitt, a young actor with Oscar gold, no doubt in his future. Were there justice in the world of Hollywood, Levitt would be considered for his work in The Lookout. Sadly, there is no justice and thus the film is almost already forgotten by the Hollywood machine.

Still, there is me and you and everyone we know and we can and should pass this movie on to everyone. Great films like The Lookout are never appreciated in their time, don't let this one wait too long before you come to appreciate it.

The Lion King (2019)

The Lion King (2019) 

Directed by Jon Favreau 

Written by Jeff Nathanson 

Starring Donald Glover, Seth Rogen, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Alfre Woodard, Billy Eichner 

Release Date July 19th, 2019 

Published July 18th, 2019 

The Lion King 2019 is an incredibly emotional and moving film. Putting aside the comparisons to the animated original, this version of the story is exceptionally well told. Director Jon Favreau has brilliantly captured this Shakespearean tale for the whole family with epic music and resonant themes and given it a modern flavor via a remarkable voice cast who elevate the material with their inventive riffing and gorgeous singing. 

You likely already know this story, Mufasa (James Earl Jones) is the King of The Pridelands. He and his beloved Sarabi (Alfre Woodard) have just had a son who will one day himself become the King. Simba, voiced as a cub by J.D McCrary, is a curious young lion who easily finds trouble but with the wisdom of his father, he will one day make a fine King. Unfortunately, Simba’s uncle,  Scar (Chiwetel Ejiofor) has other plans. 

Scar seeks the throne and will use any nefarious means necessary to get there. Scar’s first attempt to get rid of young Simba sends the young lion and his friend, Nala (Shahadi Wright Joseph), into an elephant graveyard where hyenas reign. Simba and Nala are rescued by Mufasa but Scar seizes the opportunity to convince the hyenas to become his very own army. It will be the hyenas who lead to the death of Mufasa while he tries to protect Simba. 

Mufasa dies and Scar runs off Simba by accusing him of causing his father’s death. Scar also sends hyenas to kill Simba but the young lion manages to escape into the desert. Here, Simba begins a new life. With the help of Timon (Billy Eicher) and Pumba (Seth Rogen), Simba is able to leave his grief and shame behind and grow into a mature lion without the strictures of royalty and duty while nursing the scars of his past. 

Nala voiced by Beyonce as a mature lioness, eventually finds Simba is still alive and you know where the story is headed from there. The key to this telling of the story of The Lion King is how we get to the ending and in getting there we have a remarkably rich and fulfilling journey. The story of The Lion King 2019 is told with music and the music of this version of The Lion King is superb. I won’t be hyperbolic and declare that the music here is superior to the original, I will only say that I preferred the ways in which Hans Zimmer and Beyonce, among others, have updated this score and the original songs. 

The changes are seemingly minimal but they make a huge difference in how you accept The Lion King 2019. For instance, the Can You Feel the Love Tonight segment. In the 1994 version of The Lion King the scene is suitably romantic and filled with heartfelt emotion though it is slightly shorter than the new version. The slightly longer version here takes full advantage of this new style of The Lion King with Caleb Deschanel's rich and glorious cinematography underlining the romance and deepening the impact of the moment. 

It also helps to have Beyonce and Donald Glover not just as the singing voices of Nala and Simba, but their speaking voices as well. The jarring shift from one vocal style to the other isn’t damning in the original, just notable. Here however, the seamless shift singing to speaking adds a little more verisimilitude. That and, of course, we are talking about Beyonce whose voice is transcendent. That’s not a dig at Sally Dworsky who is a Broadway veteran of immense talent, it’s merely that Beyonce is a global superstar whose voice connects to audiences in an epic fashion that fits the grandiosity of this CGI approximation of live action. 

Donald Glover is also incredible but in a unique and different way. Glover’s voice acting in the song is superior to the original because he is singing in character and accounting for the fear and angst of Simba in a way that perhaps Joseph Williams cannot because the character is not fully his. He’s more focused on singing the song,Glover is singing the character and I found the difference to be notable. 

Another notable improvement for me over the original was the performance of the song Hakuna Matata which benefits from the unique and recognizable voices and personas of Billy Eichner and Seth Rogen. Neither is well known for their singing but the way they perform this song feels as fresh and even more alive than the original. That’s not to say I don’t appreciate Nathan Lane and Ernie Sabella but they are notably stage-bound in their energy, limited by the animation style. 

Eichner and Rogen meanwhile had the advantage of working in the CG realm and director Jon Favreau’s ability to allow them to explore a little and riff within the music. Eichner and Rogen have talked in interviews about how they were allowed to improvise their dialogue and even improvise in their songs and that playfulness is part of what makes this take on The Lion King so lively as opposed to the original. 

The best change however, from the original movie is the song Be Prepared. Performed here by Chiwetel Ejiofor, the song is transformed from a pop ditty talk sung through a thick English accent by Jeremy Irons, to an operatic dirge that is shortened to more specifically state Scar’s nefariousness. Where the original overstayed its welcome and tried to fit the pop nature of the rest of the soundtrack, this version of Be Prepared better serves the character of Scar while also cutting to the chase on Scar’s story. 

Is there a calculated cynicism driving Disney to remake their animated catalog in live action and CGI? Yes, it's unquestionably a mercenary effort. That said, the artists who have contributed to this version of The Lion King have transcended how The Lion King 2019 came to exist by delivering a resonant and lovely take on this grand material. They have brought the music into a modern context and stayed true to the remarkable themes of the original story and delivered a compelling, humorous romantic and touching film. 

Movie Review: The Lincoln Lawyer

The Lincoln Lawyer (2011) 

Directed by Brad Furman

Written by John Romano 

Starring Matthew McConaughey, Marisa Tomei, Ryan Phillippe, Josh Lucas, John Leguizamo, Michael Pena 

Release Date March 18th, 2011

Published March 17th, 2011 

The Lincoln Lawyer” is fabulous pop entertainment. The story of a slippery L.A lawyer, played by the slick and stylish Matthew McConaughey, “The Lincoln Lawyer unfolds a clever mystery populated with colorful characters and the kinds of twists and turns that one wants from a mainstream pop thriller. The story is well told with unexpected twists, funny asides, and the mild danger of a Hollywood popcorn thriller. 

Mick Haller (McConaughey) doesn’t chase ambulances, he has a chauffeur to do the chasing for him. Most of Mick’s clients however, aren’t the injured more often he is defending the one delivering the injury. His latest case however, is a little different. Instead of some thug or druggie, Mick is called on to defend a privileged twit named Louis Roulet (Ryan Phillippe) who is accused of having assaulted a prostitute.

At first Mick thinks he may have one of those rare clients, one who is actually innocent. There is evidence to suggest that the sex worker, on whom the charges hinge, could have targeted the rich punk and set him up for a payday. But, with a little snooping by Mick’s pal Frank (William H. Macy), evidence emerges that not only rocks Mick’s notion of Louis’s innocence but also the reason why this spoiled rich kid sought out a lawyer like him.

Matthew McConaughey should only play lawyers in movies. McConaughey has mastered the glad-handing, underhandedness of a low rent shyster, all oily charm and dirty tricks. He can be forgiven for cheating a little because he is so damned handsome and fun to talk to. He has that lean in and look deeply into your eyes thing of a classic pick up artist, only he doesn’t use it on just the ladies, he’s seducing whoever is in front of him, especially us in the audience.

When McConaughey isn’t playing a lawyer his vapid, fratboy-ness tends to come out and his acting becomes gratingly nonchalant. For some reason, the law inspires a little passion in this immensely laid back star. Such was the case with his break out role as another slick lawyer in “A Time to Kill” where McConaughey turned the phrase ‘now imagine she’s white’ into a gut punch finale to a closing argument.

Yes, “A Time to Kill” was showy and often mawkish but McConaughey’s performance was an undeniable grabber. The passion in his eyes and the feeling in his voice, it was a combination of Paul Newman’s good looks and Robert Redford’s integrity. McConaughey has never matched that performance and likely never will.

“The Lincoln Lawyer” is inferior to “A Time to Kill” but it does share a pop entertainment sensibility with that John Grisham adaptation, likely because it too is an adaptation of a legal thriller, this one by Michael Connelly. Light on the legalese and heavy on the charm, The Lincoln Lawyer has a familiar, comforting rhythm like “A Time to Kill” and a better sense of humor, it only lacks the deeper emotional appeal.

And then there is the mystery which unfolds with a strong logic with an unexpected twist here and there. I’m sure if you lean a little too hard on “The Lincoln Lawyer” the plot might just crumble but McConaughey’s charm acts like varnish over the cracks in the film’s plausibility. If you love well made pop entertainment, legal thrillers or Matthew McConaughey, you will be endlessly entertained by “The Lincoln Lawyer.”

Movie Review: The Lego Movie 2

The Lego Movie 2 (2019) 

Directed by Mike Mitchell

Written by Lord and Miller 

Starring Chris Pratt, Elizabeth Banks, Will Arnett, Tiffany Haddish, Stephanie Beatriz, Allison Brie

Release Date February 8th, 2019 

Published February 7th, 2019 

Has the magic of the Lego movies already worn out? The last Lego movie, Lego Ninjago, was a strong indication of the limits of the franchise. That film was so remarkably dull for non-fans of Ninjago, like myself, that I walked out halfway through the movie. I hadn’t laughed one time during the first 45 minutes of the movie and I had the distinct impression that what I was missing was something that perhaps only Ninjago fans would understand. Then again, I didn’t hear many of them laughing either as I took my early exit. 

I assumed however, that Lego Ninjago was just a case of a too insular, fandom servicing, cult piece that I was not meant to understand. The Lego Movie 2 however, is supposed to be welcoming. The first film roared out of the gates with a wide appeal story about an every-man, named Emmett (Chris Pratt), learning to become a hero in a world with actual heroes including Batman (Will Arnett) and Wildstyle aka Lucy (Elizabeth Banks). 

The broad pop culture burlesque of The Lego Movie proved to be an unexpected delight that Lego then capitalized upon with the equally unexpected and ingenious, Lego Batman. That film took the gags of The Lego Movie and turned the absurdity up to 11 and, in the process, exposed the all too seriousness of the DC Movie Universe by creating arguably the best characterization of The Caped Crusader not played by Christian Bale. 

Much of the success of those two films however, is owed to creators who would not be taking part in either Lego Ninjago or The Lego Movie 2: The Second One. Phil Lord and writing and directing partner Christopher Miller may have writing credits on The Lego Movie 2 but the film is distinctly lacking in their anarchic genius. Instead we get Mike Mitchell whose middle of the road vision has given us Trolls and Shrek Forever After, a pair of mostly forgettable efforts with just enough easy to process laughs to be passable. 

The Lego Movie 2: The Second One (and what an inspired title that is) picks up the story of Emmett and his pals, Lucy and Batman, just after the action of the first Lego Movie. Finn (Jadon Sand) is informed by his dad (WIll Ferrell) that his little sister will also be allowed to play with the legos in the basement and the two will have to get along or neither will have legos to play with. Five years later, with brother and sister at odds, our heroic lego characters are no longer city dwellers in a place where ‘Everything is Awesome.’ Instead, the lego world is a dystopian wasteland at odds with the aliens of the Sistar System. 

One day, the alien General Mayhem attacks and kidnaps Emmett’s pals and he must go on a journey through the dreaded ‘Stair-Gate’ and into the Sistar System to rescue them. Aiding Emmett on his journey is a newcomer who calls himself Rex Dangervest (Chris Pratt, again). Rex is introduced more than once by an announcer who puts over his Barbie-esque ability to master many, sometimes mundane, activities. 

The voice cast of The Lego Movie 2 is as spectacular as the original with Pratt, Banks and Arnett terrific in their memorable roles from the original and backed up by equally brilliant newcomers, Tiffany Haddish, Richard Ayoade and a cameo that I won’t spoil as it is the best runner in the entire movie. Channing Tatum, Jonah Hill, and Will Ferrell also reprise roles from the original Lego Movie but these are little more than cameos. 

I can’t sit here and tell you I didn’t enjoy The Lego Movie 2: The Second One, because I did laugh plenty during the movie. I am however, a little letdown. The spirit is definitely lacking in this sequel. The premise is not nearly as consistently funny and inventive as the original. There is an over-reliance on pop references that feels lazy here even as it felt fresh and funny in the original. The lack of Lord and Miller’s anarchic spirit is definitely felt here. 

The Lego Movie 2: The Second One feels worn out, a little tired. The look is less exciting, the humorous Mad Max inspired animated dystopia has promise but is abandoned quickly for the excess of a space setting that is less inspired. Tiffany Haddish’s character, a Queen who can shape-shift into almost any character design, is not fully taken advantage of and becomes little more than a plot device by the end. 

There are still enough laughs in The Lego Movie 2: The Second One but much like that lazy subtitle, the tiredness of The Lego franchise is showing. Instead of Lego Ninjago being a one off flop in this budding animated franchise, it now appears to have been a warning that this once flavorful franchise has already run out of juice. The uninspired title The Second One proves to be as much of a warning. They put no effort into giving the film a title and only slightly more effort into making something reminiscent of the first one. 

Movie Review The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003) 

Directed by Stephen Norrington 

Written by James Dale Robinson 

Starring Sean Connery, Shane West, Stuart Townsend, Peta Wilson 

Release Date July 11th, 2003 

Published July 10th, 2003 

In 1986, Alan Moore blew the doors off of the comics code of the 1950's with his seminal work,  Watchmen. Until that comic was released, the industry was mired in a rut of safe, kid-friendly superheroes that lacked depth and character. The superheroes of Watchmen were not your average superheroes. These characters were morally ambivalent and often indulged in the types of activities that would turn Superman's stomach. Moore’s follow-up book about Jack The Ripper, From Hell, was yet another seedy, enveloping-pushing work of art, and was turned into a sensational film in 2001. Then, in 2003, someone tried to bring Moore back to the big screen and the results were not great. 

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen as a comic was a radical rethink of DC's Justice League series that replaced traditional superheroes with characters from 19th century literature. Using the novels as back story, Moore took characters such as H. Rider Haggard's Alan Quartermain and Bram Stoker's Mina Harker and revised them as superheroes fighting on behalf of the British crown. But the writer of Watchmen could not be satisfied with a straight superhero adventure story; each character was now being shot through Moore's twisted view of heroes. 

In Moore's world Quartermain is an old man with diminished skills. Mina Harker survived Dracula and is now a vampire. (Other characters, like H.G Welles's Invisible Man and Captain Nemo were criminals. The Invisible Man was a rapist.) Nevertheless, they fought evil in an alternate universe. Knowing this, I shouldn't be surprised that the film version of The League is a tame, PG-13 version of the comic, stripped of its lasciviousness and any shred of anything interesting.

Directed by Blade's Stephen Norrington, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen stars Sean Connery as Quartermain, an adventurer living in Africa but only as a legend; no longer the Quartermain of the legendary stories. When Quartermain is approached by an emissary of the British government to help fend off a potential world war, his immediate response is a flat no. That is, until his friends in Africa are attacked, which brings the old lion out of retirement. Quartermain's assignment is to lead a reformation of a legendary crime fighting team, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. 

With the help of Harker (Peta Wilson); Rodney Skinner--The Invisible Man (Tony Curran); and Captain Nemo--high seas Indian pirate and no relation to the clownfish (Nahseeruddin Shah); Quartermain will help the countries of Europe avoid a world war. However, a task this big calls for a bigger team so Quartermain calls on an old acquaintance named Dorian Gray (Stuart Townsend), whose unique ability is not pronounced until gunmen attack his home and he survives multiple gunshot wounds. Gray can't be killed (an ability writer Oscar Wilde hadn't envisioned for his egocentric character). During the gun battle, another team member comes out of the woodwork, an American secret service agent named Tom Sawyer (Shane West).

One more team member is needed, leading the team to Paris where legendary scientist Dr. Henry Jekyll (Jason Flemyng) has been banished because he can't control his monstrous alter ego, Mr. Hyde. With Jekyll and Hyde onboard, it's time to launch into the meat of the film. The character introductions are the best part of the film, but they take awhile. Using Nemo's massive watercraft, the Nautilus, the League heads to Venice, Italy to prevent the bad guy, known as the Phantom, from attacking a conference meant to prevent world war.

From here, the film slips into dull gun battles, loud explosions, and scenes where special effects stand in for dialogue and character development. Director Stephen Norrington has an eye for staging, his background is in effects, so that isn't surprising; however, unlike in his best film, 1998's Blade, he doesn't have a story as compelling as his sets. The film's plot? Well, let's just say I haven't seen this many plot holes since the President's last State of the Union speech. 

The problem with this film is that the edge that made people want to turn The League into a movie is excised to make the film marketable to teenagers. This compromise renders the story un-filmable, unless you do it like every other superhero movie ever made, which is exactly what Norrington does. Aside from its literary conceit, The League brings nothing new to the genre, except maybe a lack of tights. This is exactly the story Moore was reacting to when he wrote Watchmen, which has thus far avoided the Hollywood treatment (and if this is how they are going to do it I hope it remains elusive.)

Just how much does The League movie pander to marketing? The team now has an American member just to improve the box office chances of the movie. Tom Sawyer is added to the cast though he was not in Moore's comic. Sawyer is here because, again, marketers thought the film needed an American character to market to American audiences. Oscar Wilde's Dorian Gray is also a new addition though not because anyone saw his potential as a character in this universe. Rather, Gray was added as a replacement  character in place of a Moore character who pushed the boundaries of copyright infringement, a British secret service character named Campion Bond.

If you can't do the source material correctly, just don't do it at all. The graphic novels of The League of Extraordinary Gentleman, I am told,  are spectacularly moody and dark stories told in fascinating detail and rendered artfully on the page. The film is an anathema to its source. There are still rumors of a Watchmen movie out there and I guarantee they will screw it up.

Movie Review The Last Word

The Last Word (2017) 

Directed by Mark Pellington 

Written by Stuart Ross Fink 

Starring Amanda Seyfried, Shirley MacLaine 

Release Date March 3rd, 2017

Published April 13th, 2017 

Shirley MacLaine is a national treasure. Sure, I don’t like several of her films but when she’s good, there are few better. Don’t believe me? Watch “The Apartment” and then try to tell me I am wrong. MacLaine is in the twilight of her career and with her new movie “The Last Word” she has decided to write the last chapter of her career in glorious fashion.

“The Last Word” stars Shirley MacLaine as Harriet Lauson, a lonely, bitter woman whose control freak tendencies have driven away most everyone in her life. After a failed suicide attempt, Harriet stumbles across the obituaries page of her local paper and wanting the chance to control even her death, she decides to go to the paper to start the process of writing her obituary, so she can make sure she gets the last word on what is said about her.

Ann (Amanda Seyfried) is the paper’s obituary writer, a lonely but quite talented writer who lacks the courage to strike out on her own. When Ann meets Harriet, they don’t exactly hit it off but it’s only a matter of time before Harriet’s unique life and domineering personality begin to inspire Ann. After hearing that most of the people in her life despise her, Harriet decides to change her life completely to change her story and what a story it turns out to be.

I will leave the rest of the plot for you to enjoy. Shirley MacLaine is a joy to behold as Harriet makes one oddball choice after another to give herself the obituary and indeed the life she truly wants. As I write this, the story does sound clichéd but trust me when I tell you that MacLaine is so delightful that it doesn’t matter if the story seems overly familiar.

Amanda Seyfried’s job in “The Last Word” is mostly reacting to the bizarre twists and turns of MacLaine’s Harriet but she does put a nice spin on that role. Seyfried seems at times in awe of MacLaine and it feeds well into the character who, though she may not be in awe of Harriet, she’s at least consistently surprised by her new friend’s sudden evolution from crotchety old hag to fun loving yet still domineering, hipster.

Director Mark Pellington makes the smart choice to just let MacLaine drive the train. There is nothing special about the direction of “The Last Word,” but just allowing MacLaine to take the lead fits the character and the movie quite well. MacLaine’s Harriet is the dominant force for everyone around her so it makes sense that MacLaine’s performance dominates the film.

“The Last Word” is funny and sweet, sad at times, yes but with a genuine heart and wit behind the sadness. It’s a film about age and the cruelty of time and about a woman who refused to be defined by that time. In many ways that reflects MacLaine who has approached aging in Hollywood with wit and aplomb. MacLaine’s wit is as strong as ever in “The Last Word” and I recommend you enjoy it while you can.

Movie Review Get Out

Get Out (2017) 

Directed by Jordan Peele 

Written by Jordan Peele 

Starring Daniel Kaluuya, Allison Williams, Bradley Whitford, Catherine Keener, Stephen Root, Lil Rel 

Release Date February 24th, 2017

Published February 23rd, 2017 

There isn’t much to write about “Get Out,” the new horror-thriller from writer-director Jordan Peele. Not that “Get Out” isn’t brilliant, it is and I am happy to write that. No, I just don’t want to spoil the myriad pleasures of “Get Out” by telling you too much about it. The film’s trailer gives away too much already, a full-scale review would likely only take away from what should be a surprising, shocking, funny, and edgy ride that Jordan Peele has concocted.

“Get Out” stars newcomer Daniel Kaluuya as Chris, a TSA employee and budding photographer who is nervous about the upcoming weekend. Chris is headed to Connecticut to meet his girlfriend’s parents for the first time. This would-be nerve wracking for anyone but Chris has the extra edge of being a young black man who is dating a young white woman, Rose (“Girls” star Allison Williams), who hasn’t told her parents who is coming to dinner.

While Rose assures Chris that her parents won’t care about his ethnicity, Chris’s best friend Rod (Lil Rel Howery, stealing the whole movie) instructs his friend not to go. Putting aside Rod’s seemingly comical warning, Chris loves Rose and figures one weekend in Connecticut won’t kill him. Upon arriving at the Armitage estate, Chris meets the parents, Dean (Bradley Whitford) and Missy (Catherine Keener), each extra awkward in their overly ingratiating, white liberal manner; Dean assures Chris he would have voted for Obama a third time minutes after meeting him. 

Things quickly get weird however when Chris is introduced to the help, Georgina (Betty Gabriel) and Walter (Marcus Henderson). While Chris assumes that fellow black people will make him feel more comfortable, Georgina and Walter are anything but welcoming. In fact, there is something quite menacing in their manner. The pair act and speak like aliens inhabiting the bodies of black people with nothing familiar about them.

I will stop with the plot description there as to avoid any potential spoilers. I can say however that the portrayals of Georgina and Walter are some of the most biting and universal satire we’ve seen in some time. Walter and Georgina implicate all of us from Chris to each member of the audience in the way we expect people to be one way. We expect Georgina and Walter to have familiar, stereotypical traits. We may not know what those traits are specifically but each of us has a model for Georgina and Walter to live into and it is disturbing when they don’t live into it, for us and for Chris.

White liberal guilt is in for quite a workout in “Get Out” as the film takes a few sharps stabs at the ways in which those who don’t consider themselves racist pat ourselves on the backs for the ways we aren’t racist. Newsflash, you are not supposed to be a racist. You don’t get a cookie simply for being better than those who would commit hate crimes. “Get Out” is a perfect jab right to the consciousness of the complacent masses who believe simply having elected a black President has made this a post-racial society.

Don’t be mistaken however, the politics are much subtler and implied in “Get Out” than in the outward example I am giving you here. “Get Out” is first and foremost a horror thriller that uses race as a catalyst. Jordan Peele has said in interviews that he simply wanted to make a movie he’d never seen before and he’s certainly created something original. “Get Out” has horror beats and even a touch of science fiction, often the best genres for subtle satire, but it’s also brilliantly funny, channeling the incredibly sharp wit of its creator.

Again, I don’t want to give anything away about “Get Out.” With that said, I would be remiss if I didn’t tell you that Lil Rel Howery steals this whole movie. Howery, a stand-up comedian by trade, is put in place as comic relief but just wait, Peele fills out this character in ways that the Coen Brothers might appreciate. Watching Howery I was reminded, in a rather obscure way, of John Goodman’s Walter in “The Big Lebowski.” You will need to see the movie to understand why I say that and probably need to be a huge Coen Brothers fan as well, nevertheless, Howery deserves the praise of the comparison.

“Get Out” ranks next to “Split” as one of the best movies I have seen in the last 12 months. That each has arrived so early in 2017 is a wonder, we usually aren’t this well spoiled so early in the year. Usually, the first two months of any year Hollywood clears the shelves of the dreck they are contractually obligated to release. Does this mean 2017 will be better than any other year? No, but at the very least we have two early masterworks to enjoy for the rest of the year. 

Movie Review Get Low

Get Low (2009) 

Directed by Aaron Schneider 

Written by Chris Provenzano, C Gaby Mitchell, Scott Seeke 

Starring Robert Duvall, Bill Murray, Sissy Spacek, Lucas Black, Lee Cobb

Release Date July 30th, 2009 

Published July 29th, 2009 

“Get Low” is some kind of miracle of modern movie-making. No, the film doesn't change the way you look at movies. Rather, “Get Low” is a throwback to a time before bombast took over cinema. “Get Low” reaches back to a time when acting and storytelling dominated over the urge to constantly goose the audience with effects. In this day and age, that qualifies as a miracle.

”Get Low” stars Robert Duvall as Felix Bush, a hermit living in some unknown, early 1900's wilderness on the edge of a small town. Within that town are residents who believe Felix is just a crazy old hermit and everyone seems to have a story about being threatened by the crazy old man with the wild eyes and ratty beard.

After being informed of the death of a former friend, Felix decides that his time is drawing near as well. Felix decides that it's time to get low but before he goes he wants to attend his own funeral. Carrying out Felix's final wishes are the local funeral home proprietor Mr. Quinn (Bill Murray) and his young assistant Buddy (Lucas Black).

While Quinn is eager for the old hermit's wad of balled up money, Buddy is worried for Felix and wants to know why he is so eager to get busy dying. Buddy is the stand in for those of us who find Felix's motivations morbid yet oddly fascinating. Felix is even more intriguing than his final wishes imply; he carries a deep dark secret that relates somehow to an old flame, Mattie Darrow (Sissy Spacek).

I will leave you to discover Felix's secret and I will only say that it is a stunner of a payoff and yet not a thrilling shock but rather a resigned, unfortunate tale related with such skill by Duvall that you will struggle to hold back tears. Duvall has long been an actor of awesome, earnest strength but “Get Low” is the first time, arguably, since his Oscar winning turn in “Tender Mercies” that he has been this moving.

When Duvall shares the screen with Sissy Spacek “Get Low” takes on an effortlessly romantic air that never plays ironic or creepy. Yes, these are two older people but there is no joking about sex or winking about their romantic prospects being that they are old. Instead, “Get Low” offers scenes of such tenderness most modern movies featuring the young beautiful cannot hope to match.

The revelation of “Get Low” is Lucas Black. To this point in his short career Black's biggest credit had been the “Fast and the Furious” pseudo sequel “Tokyo Drift.” Needless to say, that performance said little about Black's ability as an actor, other than his ability to look blandly handsome. In “Get Low” Black demonstrates earnest vulnerability, humor and caring that never lapses.

Bill Murray is, well, Bill Murray. The former SNL and “Ghostbusters'' star has become one of the most consistently ingenious actors working today. Whether he is playing himself for laughs in “Zombieland” or playing romantic, longing, drama in the little seen but utterly glorious “Broken Flowers,” Murray finds new beats to play within what we expect of Billy Murray. In “Get Low” Murray may be expected to be a huckster, and he kind of is, but by the end of Get Low Murray's Mr. Quinn is as steady and good-hearted as anyone.

Don't let me mislead you, Murray and the rest in “Get Low” do earn laughs. The film has a great sense of humor, one that offers laughs that come organically from characters who aren't trying to be funny, they just are. Robert Duvall gets laughs from his temperamental performance that seems coiled for an explosion of crazy and then surprises with gentility and soul. Sissy Spacek is magical with her wide smile and big eyes, she exudes warmth and then when hurt she changes the temperature of the film and you feel everything she feels.

This is what great actors do, they draw you in, surprise you, move you and can devastate and restore you all in the space of three acts. Given a great script as these actors are given in “Get Low,” by writers Chris Provenzano and Gaby Mitchell, this wondrous ensemble does all of the above and more. 

”Get Low” is directed with a shambling good nature by Aaron Schneider who also edited the film. He is not the most likely of directors, his training was as a cinematographer for little seen TV shows. Yet, Mr. Schneider delivers in “Get Low” a pro level performance. Schneider's low watt direction and great eye for deteriorating, period scenery plays perfectly to the story of decrepit yet feisty Felix preparing for his grave. 

Most importantly, Schneider knows just when to get out of the way and let his superior cast carry the day. Watch in particular a scene between Robert Duvall and Sissy Spacek set at night in Felix's hermit hovel. There is no need for flourish, no need for directorial histrionics, Schneider just sets his camera on these two actors and the warmth rises and the romance comes effortlessly as if evoked from a nonexistent yet fully shared memory. What a scene. 

”Get Low” is wonderful. Romantic, sad, funny and very moving, it is undoubtedly among this year's best films, an honest to goodness miracle of modesty in an era of often ugly, insipid bombast.