Movie Review On_Line

On_Line (2002) 

Directed by Jed Weintrob 

Written by Andrew Osborne, Jed Weintrob  

Starring Josh Hamilton, Harold Perrineau, Vanessa Ferlito 

Release Date June 27th, 2002 

Published August 15th, 2002 

While I have never been one for the chat rooms or webcams, I am an online animal of a different stripe, I still feel that I can relate to the lonely, late-nite web surfers of Jed Weintrob's On_Line. Waiting for Homer Simpson to announce a new email has arrived in my box is a nightly waiting game that I devote maybe a little too much time to. My list of email friends is longer than my list of actual friends. However I have never and will never do the online dating or sex things that are the subject of most of On_Line, a witty and unique comedy.

Josh Hamilton stars as John, the proprietor of two very different websites. One is a personal webcam where he unloads his feelings at regular intervals. The other website is Intercon X, a sex site where people pay to have cybersex via webcam. John runs Intercon with his roommate Moe (Harold Perrineau), who implores his recently dumped roomie to step away from his webcam and meet people in real life.

Moe himself has no trouble meeting real live girls, rolling an assortment out of his bedroom nightly. His latest tryst might be a little more serious than usual; a coffee shop waitress named Moira (Isabel Gillies). She too has a life lived online where she spends her time visiting a website dedicated to suicide webcams. People log in to see people kill themselves or in Moira’s slightly more healthy way, try to talk others out of doing it. She has made good friends with a suicidal gay college student Ed (Eric Milligan). Ed also happens to be a frequent visitor to Intercon where he is in a torrid affair with an older man played very well by character actor John Fleck.

Moe finally does get John away from the computer for a date with Jordan (Vanessa Ferlito) who happens to run a webcam through Intercon where she has cybersex with strangers for money. She and John have an intense encounter online but in person, they have nothing in common and their date is an absolute disaster. They do have one thing in common, though they don't know it, they both obsess over the same oddball webcam chick named Angel.

The film was written and directed by a terrific up and comer Jed Weintrob. Weintrob has a superb visual eye using both the webcam aesthete and the flash cutting of a handheld digital camera between the two as characters chat via the webcams. The cuts are quick and timed to the beats of the conversations taking place. The script has a good sense of our ever-fracturing relationships with real people. As this technology evolves, it plays well into Generation X's numerous neuroses that make meeting people in person a form of torture. The technology allows people to hide behind a persona that, if punctured, can merely be deleted.

There are some troubles in the script however, such as a scene early in the film that tips the story's hand in regard to Moe and Moira’s relationship. Also, the relationship between Ed and Al unfolds in a way that some might find touching but that parents of gay teens might find disturbing.  Those problems aside, I liked On_Line a lot. The film is smart, sexy and humorous. It's very modern and well acted, especially Josh Hamilton who doesn't get enough attention. The guy consistently does good work but hardly anyone ever sees it. Director Jed Weintrob has a bright future and I can't wait to see what he does next.

Movie Review Soldier's Girl

Soldier's Girl (2003) 

Directed by Frank Pierson 

Written by Ron Nyswaner 

Starring Troy Garity, Lee Pace, Shawn Hatosy 

Release Date May 31st, 2003 

Published January 21st to coincide with Sundance Film Festival debut

"Based On A True Story" does not induce the confidence in the moviegoer that it used to. More often in modern Hollywood the "true story" is merely a skeleton from which to hang melodrama and conjecture. Some, not as many as in the past, are honest attempts to retell history and the Showtime television original picture Soldier’s Girl seems to fall into that category. It's not a perfect retelling of the tragic relationship between a closeted Army Private and a transgender club performer but it is effective in communicating some of the emotion of the tragedy.

In 1999, PFC. Barry Winchell was asleep in the hallway of his army barracks when a fellow soldier, a troubled seventeen-year-old kid on a drinking binge, took a bat and beat Winchell to death. Another soldier who spread rumors that Barry was gay put up the kid to it. Troy Garity (Barbershop) stars in the retelling of the events that lead to the death of Barry Winchell, including his doomed affair with Calpernia Addams (Lee Pace).

Calpernia used to be a young male marine before she began taking hormones to become a woman. A very attractive woman. So attractive that when she first met Barry Winchell, the young Private wasn't sure if she was really a man or a woman. They met when Barry accompanied some friends to a drag club just a few miles from their base, Fort Campbell in Kentucky. Why a group of army guys would go to a drag club is anyone's guess and the movie provides no motivations. This begins a tentative, sweet and unusual relationship, also a dangerous one as history tells us.

Garity and Pace have a terrific romantic chemistry. In a pair of difficult roles, these two very talented actors shine with two complex and fascinating performances. It's tempting to call them brave but we should be beyond the time when portraying relationships such as this is considered brave. Then again, we probably aren't that far along. The performances are magnetic despite the rather mundane surroundings. Director Frank Pierson and writer Ron Niswaner, both veterans of TV movies, can't seem to escape the melodramatic trappings of TV movie conventions. The romantic situations are rather tepid as written. Thankfully, Garity and Pace give them life.

For your information, Lee Pace is a man. The actor underwent four hours a day of makeup work to develop his breasts and feminize his facial features. It's an amazing transformation that will have men who aren't comfortable with their sexuality squirming in their seats. It's impossible to deny Pace makes a very attractive woman. The makeup artists deserve some accolades for their terrific work.

Shawn Hatosy has the film’s third lead performance as PFC Justin Fischer, the friend whose rumors lead to Barry Winchell's death. It was Fischer who gave the alcohol to seventeen year old Private Calvin Glover (Phillip Eddols). It was Fischer who gave Glover the bat that was used in the attack and Fischer who challenged Glover to take back his manhood. Fischer can't be entirely blamed for what happened, he had no idea that Glover would go through with it. Fischer essentially loaded the gun and Glover went off.

Soldier’s Girl is quite reminiscent of Boys Don't Cry, the "true story" of Brandon Teena that won an Academy Award for Hillary Swank. This film isn't nearly as accomplished, it's too wrapped in conventional TV-movie storytelling to reach the same level of compelling drama. Soldier’s Girl is however almost as heartbreaking because Garity and Pace are so good. The relationship is so well played by these two terrific actors that you can forgive the film’s repetitions, stops, starts and lack of style. The actors make you feel the weight of the tragic end of the film.

Movie Review Tears of the Sun

Tears of the Sun (2003) 

Directed by Antoine Fuqua

Written by Alex Lasker, Patrick Cirillo 

Starring Bruce Willis, Monica Bellucci, Cole Hauser, Tom Skerritt

Release Date March 7th, 2003 

Published March 6th, 2003 

In researching Tears of The Sun I came across the strange revelation that the film was initially founded as a vehicle for Bruce Willis' Die Hard series. It began its life as Die Hard 4:Tears of the Sun. You think I'm making that up, and I wish I were but no. Thankfully, someone figured there was no plausible reason for John McClain to be in Africa during a tribal civil war so the storyline was changed to have Willis play a different fictional tough guy. The film still has the action flourish of a Die Hard movie but the character’s name is different.

In Tears Of The Sun, Willis is LT Waters, a special forces leader assigned to drop into the middle of a country in the midst of a civil war to rescue a missionary and her staff. Of course if it were that simple there wouldn't be much of a movie. The missionary is Dr. Lena Hendricks (Monica Bellucci), the wife of a murdered American doctor. When Waters and his crew arrive in her camp to rescue her the doctor refuses to leave without her people, forcing Waters to accept a compromise. Anyone who can walk can come with her. The doctor’s staff of two nurses and a priest decide to stay behind and care for the remaining patients.

Despite his promise, Waters has no plans to break from his mission and when they arrive at their exit point the doctor’s patients are left behind while the doctor is forced onto a helicopter to be taken to an awaiting aircraft carrier. Intent on simply accomplishing his mission Waters’s conscience is tested when the helicopter passes back over the hospital and finds it in flames with the bodies of its remaining patients strewn over the ground. Knowing that the same fate awaits the patients he left behind, Waters turns the helicopter around, determined to help the remaining patients to the border of a friendly ally.

Director Antoine Fuqua packs the film with action flourishes and a cast of recognizable supporting players including Cole Hauser, Isaiah Washington and Tom Skerrit as Willis' commanding officer. The casting is excellent and the recognizable character actors earn our sympathy simply through familiarity. This however is Willis' show and the action star hasn't been this good since The Sixth Sense. Stoic and studied, Willis has not only the look of a tough guy marine but the fighting spirit that one would hope to find in all of our soldiers.

That's not to say Tears of The Sun doesn't have its troubles. Where the action scenes are exciting and well staged, the surrounding scenes are a little thin. When bullets aren't flying the film stalls, and when a twist is thrown in about half way through, it does little to change that. Nevertheless, with Fuqua's sure handed direction and Willis' fine performance, Tears of The Sun has just enough action to hold the audience's attention from beginning to end.

Movie Review Tart

Tart (2001) 

Directed by Christina Wayne 

Written by Christina Wayne

Starring Dominique Swain, Brad Renfro, Bijou Phillips, Mischa Barton, Melanie Griffith

Release Date June 15th, 2001 

Published June 22nd, 2001 

In 1997, at the age of 17, Dominique Swain made an amazing film debut in Adrien Lyne's remake of the Vladimir Nabakov classic Lolita. Swain's performance was universally praised with many critics stamping her as a star of the future. What happened since is anyone's guess, be it poor management or the feeling she has to accept every role she's offered. Since Lolita and her follow up role in John Woo's Faceoff, Swain has been relegated to the straight-to-video market. Her latest straight-to-video feature, Tart, should have gone straight to the garbage.

Swain stars as an outcast girl whose best friend, played by Bijou Phillips, is getting her in constant trouble. After her friend is kicked out of school, Swain befriends a British girl played by Mischa Barton, who is her ticket into her elite private school’s popular clique. Once she begins hanging with the popular kids she gets her dream guy, the big man on campus, played by Brad Renfro. From there the film turns into a community theater version of Cruel Intentions with “too smart for their own good” teens bedding each other, drinking and drugging and generally annoying the hell out of anyone with a brain.

Tart is a mess that makes Rollerball look coherent. Characters appear and disappear and then do things with absolutely no motivation that in the end have no payoff. There are so many pointless scenes that have nothing to do with anything, one being a scene with Swain and Barton sharing a bath together. The scene is all of 20 seconds long and is apparently in the film to appeal to the same dirty old men who rent Tart merely for its video box cover art. The title of the film is absolutely superfluous, there is no reason to call this movie Tart. The only reason the movie is called Tart and Swain is on the cover box with her skirt in the air is to appeal to dirty old men looking for naked teenage flesh. Guess what, there isn't any. HA!

The film's disgustingly exploitative marketing is just that, marketing. The film itself is actually quite tame in the sex department. Why am I spending so much time complaining about the film's marketing and title, because there isn't anything else to talk about. Tart is simply horrid. Bad acting, bad direction from first timer Christina Wayne, bad cinematography, bad sound. The sound is atrocious, there is more dubbed dialogue in the first hour of Tart than in the dubbed version Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.

Memo to Dominique Swain, you can turn scripts down, it's not illegal. There is still time for you to turn your career around. So the next time some first time director calls offering you a role opposite Eric Roberts or Craig Sheffer or some other straight-to-video superstar, just say no and then pick up the phone and call John Woo, or Adrien Lyne. I'm sure they have room in their next picture for a prep school daughter in a tiny tartan skirt that you would be perfect for.

Movie Review Tangled

Tangled (2010) 

Directed by Nathan Greno, Byron Howard 

Written by Dan Fogelman

Starring Mandy Moore, Zachary Levi, Donna Murphy 

Release Date November 24th, 2010 

Published November 23rd, 2010

In their 50th original animated feature Disney has once again hit a home run. “Tangled” is a joyous musical treat for the ears and the eyes as even in 3D Disney's classic hand drawn style manages to shine. Re-imagining the fairy tale Rapunzel as romantic musical adventure directors Nathan Greno and Byron Howard and writer Dan Fogelman have reinvigorated the tale for a new audience to love.

Mandy Moore offers the voice of Rapunzel. Trapped in a tower by Mother Gothel, the woman she believes is her real mother, Rapunzel spends her days reading, painting and singing with her chameleon pal Pascal, who thankfully cannot duet, he's not a talking chameleon. One day, while indulging her usual pursuits, Rapunzel finds a man in her tower; Flynn Ryder (Zachary Levy, NBC's Chuck) is on the run from the kingdom having stolen a precious royal heirloom.

Rapunzel may have spent the last 18 years trapped in a tower but that doesn't stop her from whipping pretty boy Flynn's butt with her magical long blonde hair. Using her enchanted tresses to toss, trip and tie up Flynn, Rapunzel quickly realizes that what her 'mother' told her about the outside world being dangerous might be true but that she cannot take care of herself is completely false. Once Flynn is subdued Rapunzel decides that the rakish thief would be the perfect guide to the outside world. She will hold his stolen goods until he shows her the kingdom's annual Lantern Festival, up close. If you cannot guess where this is heading, a few songs, romance, more cute animals and eventually a happy ending, you aren't trying.

”Tangled” is not about the preordained outcome thankfully. Rather, it's about a joyous musical journey where the gorgeous music of composer Alan Menken and the perfect Disney Princess voice of Mandy Moore takes hold of you and elevates you to a state of blissful happiness. In all seriousness, “Tangled” is one of the happiest, most joy filled movies ever put to the screen.

Tangled is the rare movie that manages to be happy and joy filled without being cloying or too cute. Mandy Moore and Zachary Levy strike just the perfect chords as the spunky Princess and the suave yet goofball rake. Director's Nathan Greno and Byron Howard create a gorgeous world for these characters to inhabit and while there is darkness on the edges, a pair of twins is known as the Stabbington brothers, the focus is on the warm, the fuzzy, and the fun.

The music of Alan Menken may not hold a standout single, nothing that could become a hit beyond the movie, but he nails the joyful tone and Moore seems born for Menken's spunky lyrics that she delivers with effortless, honest delight without ever becoming excessively sweet or sentimental.

There is a simple, honest excitement that radiates from every inch of “Tangled.” The film is a complete delight, a near overdose of fun. Even in 3D, which I mostly loathe, “Tangled” manages to shine. Great songs, great characters and even a touch of chaste romance combine with classic Disney animation to create arguably the biggest surprise of 2010. “Tangled” may be one of the best movies of the year.

Movie Review Taking Woodstock

Taking Woodstock (2009) 

Directed by Ang Lee 

Written by James Schamus 

Starring Demetri Martin, Emile Hirsch, Eugene Levy, Imelda Staunton, Jonathan Groff

Release Date August 28th, 2009 

Published August 28th, 2009 

The cultural touchstone that is Woodstock has been examined and reexamined in many different forms. Books, TV shows, movies, documentaries, records, have been used to cover every possible angle of this iconic moment in recent American history. So, it is quite notable that director Ang Lee and his writing partner James Schamus have found something of a new angle for their take on Woodstock.

In Taking Woodstock the festival of peace, love and music provides the background for the self exploration of Elliott Teichberg, played by comedian Demetri Martin. Using the concert as the backdrop for a character based story isn't new but the character and the approach to him is something kind of revelatory.

In early August 1969 the organizers of Woodstock found themselves run out of Wallkill New York. Locals pulled the group's festival permit. Luckily for them a young man named Elliott Teichberg happened to have a festival permit and as chairman of the chamber of commerce in tiny Whitelake New York, he had the power to keep it.

A partnership was forged that would change history. Elliott was not meant to be in Whiteside. His parents Sonia (Imelda Staunton) and Jake (Henry Goodman) have run a failing resort in the area for years while Elliott has moved to New York City. When it looked like the place was finally going under, Elliott moved back home.

He became a part of the town and the youngest chamber of commerce chairman in history when he took the risk to bring Woodstock to Whiteside and with it a life changing experience that he could never have envisioned.

I am making Taking Woodstock out to be a little bigger than it is. It's big for Elliott but the story's scale is exceptionally small. Tiny, well observed moments of Elliott Teichberg finding out little things about himself, taking small but escalating risks and dragging his parents, especially his stingy, entrenched mother, along as well.

Some, maybe most, will find Taking Woodstock to be slow, even meandering. For me, the pace was slow but my interest never seemed to wane. Taking Woodstock is a gentle, immersive experience that floats along on a cloud of marijuana smoke and good vibes.

Comic Demetri Martin perfectly captures Elliott's lost soul innocence and longing. He has a wonderful playful spirit hidden behind a nebbish reserve. When he lets loose it's a gentle catharsis perfectly pitched to Ang Lee's waves lapping against the shore pacing.

Yes, Taking Woodstock is slow but it is intended to be slow. It's intended as a gentle study of a gentle man. In that it is highly successful and for me a warm wonderful moviegoing experience. I don't recommend this one to fans of Transformers 2, but for those who enjoy their movies with a little more leisure, Taking Woodstock is the movie for you.

Movie Review Lords of Dogtown

Lords of Dogtown (2005) 

Directed by Catherine Hardwicke

Written by Stacy Peralta 

Starring Emile Hirsch, Victor Rasuk, John Robinson, Heath Ledger, Michael Angarano 

Release Date June 3rd, 2005 

Published June 2nd, 2005 

If there is one character trait that defines the southern California surf kids turned skateboard legends profiled so memorably in the documentary Dogtown and Z Boys and now in the film Lords of Dogtown it is an uncompromising will to do whatever they want. However, compromise is exactly what Lords of Dogtown is. Compromised to achieve maximum mainstream appeal at the expense of the colorful characters that so obviously populate its cast.

Lords of Dogtown is the autobiographical account of the rise of skateboard culture in Southern California in the 1970s and the leaders of this new sport's aesthetic. Written by Z-Boy Stacey Perralta we know the story is authentic but it's also obviously compromised for mainstream appeal by director Catherine Hardwicke and a glut of suits from Columbia Pictures eager to tap the rebellious cool of skateboard culture for a quick buck.

John Robinson, so memorable in Gus Van Sant's indie flick Elephant, plays Peralta as a straight arrow kid whose only personality seems to come from his skateboarding. With his friends Jay Adams (Emile Hirsch; Secret Lives Of Altar Boys) and Tony Alva (Victor Rasuk; Raising Victor Vargas), Perralta grabbed his skateboard just to have a good time after school and ended up finding a calling that would last the rest of his life.

It is the life arcs of these three characters that are the thrust of the drama of Lords Of Dogtown, unfortunately scenes that might expand and deepen those arcs are left on the cutting room floor seemingly to give the film a more marketable run time of just under two hours and to make room for more skating scenes, also a nod to the marketing department.

It's a shame because anyone who saw the documentary Dogtown and Z Boys Directed by Mr. Perralta knows that these kids' lives were just as fascinating as their athleticism. In Lords Of Dogtown there are a number of nods in the direction of these characters and the moments that would change and define their lives but they too often get cut short.

I do not blame director Catherine Hardwicke entirely for the compromised nature of Lords of Dogtown. It seems all throughout the film that she is trying to dig deeper but is constantly being undermined by the studio and its final say in the film's cut.

Everything from the look of the film-- this gorgeous amber hue that captures the heat of the streets of Santa Monica-- to the casting of hot young indie talents like Hirsch and Rasuk to even the hiring of Ms. Hardwicke has the feel of indie barbarians crashing the gates of corporate Hollywood. Sadly you can't fight city hall and you damn sure can't fight the marketing department of a major corporate studio.

Jay Adams' story is the kind of tragedy that great drama is made of. While Stacey Perralta and Tony Alva traveled the world on their skateboards, Adams stayed behind in Dogtown, the nickname for the shoreside ghetto of Santa Monica California, and fell into all of the typical traps: gangs, drugs and violence. Watching the impetuous and impish Adams in the person of the terrific Emile Hirsch go from beach blonde skateboarder to bald headed tattooed gangster and eventually on to prison is a very dramatic arc that gets merely glossed over in the film so that we can get to see more skateboarding.

Perralta and Alva get equally glossed over treatments. The only impression the film leaves of Stacey Perralta is that of a straight arrow, almost nerdy child saint who is about as rebellious as a Hanson concert. As for Alva, his legendary ego is well played by Victor Rasuk but that seems to be his only character trait aside from his astonishing skills on a skateboard.

Skateboarders and fans of the sport will find a lot to love about Lords of Dogtown. The skateboarding is pretty spectacular and terrifically filmed. Though it's not nearly as breathtaking as it is in the documentary footage in Dogtown and Z Boys, it's still quite good and will appeal to fans of the sport.

The film also features a very entertaining performance by Heath Ledger as the skate shop owner and Z-Boys guru Skip Engblom. Ledger does not nearly get the screen time he needs to fully flesh out this character but fans of the actor may find this to be some of his best work.

Lords of Dogtown is a disappointment for fans of the documentary Dogtown and Z-Boys who realized while watching the doc what an extraordinary story could be told about these characters. It would have to have been a sprawling three hour multi-character piece in the Paul Thomas Anderson spirit to work, but it definitely could have worked. Instead, Lords Of Dogtown is yet another compromised product of the Hollywood corporate mindset. Well acted and professionally directed but nearly as shallow as the swimming pools where the Z-Boys polished their aesthetic.

Documentary Review Lost in La Mancha

Lost in La Mancha (2002) 

Directed by Terry Gilliam 

Written by Documentary 

Starring Terry Gilliam, Johnny Depp, Jean Rochefort

Release Date August 30th, 2002 

Published September 25th, 2002 

It's said to be the project that consumed Orson Welles. The dream project of directors as far back as the dawn of cinema. The legend of Don Quixote, the Man of La Mancha. The legendary novel by Miguel De Cervantes has been adapted as a musical, a ballet, and a straight retelling on TV starring John Lithgow as Quixote. But it was Terry Gilliam who had the grand vision of a theatrical Don Quixote. For more than 10 years he had the story in his head, and with the right cast, budget and location it looked like his vision might come about. As the documentary Lost In La Mancha details, Gilliam had the vision, but vision and reality can collide in the most all consuming ways.

In August of 2000, Terry Gilliam arrived in Spain to begin pre-production on The Man Who Killed Don Quixote, his grand reimagining of The Man From La Mancha. With a budget of $38 million, all raised from foreign investors, the film would be entirely non-Hollywood and the largest European financed film ever. However with Gilliam's unique vision, it was also about half the money the production needed.

Production pressed on with costumes, sets and location scouting as problems emerged. One problem, the film had no stars. Though Johnny Depp and French actor Jean Rochefort had signed contracts, neither actor had found time to come to Spain for rehearsal. A bigger problem loomed with actress Vinessa Paradis who had verbally agreed to play the female lead. She had not signed a contract for some two weeks until shooting was to begin.

In Gilliam's story, Johnny Depp played Toby, a man who by some quirk is sent back to the time of Don Quixote who then mistakes him for his colleague Sancho Panza. Toby joins Quixote for a uniquely Terry Gilliam adventure through the book’s many wildly romantic adventures, tilting at windmills and such. It certainly sounds fascinating on the page, and with Gilliam's visionary resume (Brazil, Fear and Loathing Las Vegas and The Adventures Of Baron Munchausen), it was certain to be like no retelling of the legendary story ever.

Early on, even as shooting began, the clouds of doom hung over the production. Sometimes literally clouds hung over as a massive thunderstorm washed out two full days of shooting. The film's biggest tragedy however wasn't strikes from Mother Nature. Seventy year old Jean Rochefort, who was Gilliam's ideal choice for Quixote, who had taken 7 months to learn English for the film, fell ill. Before shooting began, Rochefort had a scare with a severe prostate problem. Once shooting began, the problem was made worse by the requirement that Rochefort ride a horse. As it turns out, Rochefort had two herniated discs in his lower back, which prevented him from riding a horse.

Because Rochefort was signed as a principal cast member, insurance contracts prevented the role from being recast without shutting down the production. Shut down the production and you lose your investors. You can't make Don Quixote without Don Quixote and so despite the visionary director and his talented crew The Man Who Killed Don Quixote was repossessed by the insurance company where it remains in limbo.

The story is somewhat small for a big screen rendition, essentially boiling down to a battle with an insurance company who aren't portrayed as bad guys, merely as realistic businessmen. The film’s foreign producers, Bernard Bouix and Rene Cleitman, are also not the bad guys, though somewhat unrealistic in their expectations of the production. They nevertheless seemed to have the best interest of the film at heart.

The one element that makes Lost in La Mancha a fascinating story is Gilliam. The few scenes where the visionary filmmaker is actually working are mesmerizing. Gilliam clearly has an amazing idea he wants to communicate. The film he wants to make would no doubt be brilliant if he could realize it.

Much like Orson Welles, whose vision of Quixote never made it to the screen (His was completed by another filmmaker after his death but not to Welles' specifications); the outsized romanticism of the project eluded Gilliam. Though if the elements could just come together as he sees them in his head, you know from Lost in La Mancha that it could be brilliant.

Movie Review Narc

Narc (2002) 

Directed by Joe Carnahan 

Written by Joe Carnahan 

Starring Ray Liotta, Jason Patric, Busta Rhymes, Chi McBride

Release Date January 10th, 2002

Published January 12th, 2002 

We have seen it dozens of times, movies about rogue cops who break all the rules to get the job done. Every actor in the world has played this role from Pacino and DeNiro to Scwarzenegger and Stallone. So what is it about Ray Liotta and Jason Patric in Narc that takes this overused concept and makes it fresh and intense? I'm not exactly sure, but Director Joe Carnahan taps into something that makes Narc a kinetic, high energy drama.

Jason Patric stars as Nick Tellis, an undercover narcotics officer. When we meet Nick for the first time he is chasing a drug dealer through the streets, frantically firing his weapon as the druggy uses a pair of drug needles as weapons on unsuspecting passers by. The confrontation comes to a head in a park where the junkie takes a small boy hostage holding a drug needle to the boy's throat. With little forethought Nick fires three shots, shooting the junkie in the head and saving the little boy. Unfortunately one of the other two bullets Nick fired hit a pregnant woman and killed her unborn child.

Cut to 15 months later, Nick sits in front of a review board rehashing the incident. Nick is under the impression that the meeting is simply to determine whether he gets his job back or not. In reality the meeting is to determine whether or not he will accept an assignment to a particular case, the murder of an undercover police officer. The outcome of this investigation will determine whether or not he gets his job back or not.

Reluctantly, Nick agrees to the assignment and is partnered with the dead cop's partner, Henry Oak (Ray Liotta). Oak is the typical movie cop, a hothead who breaks all the rules and always gets his man. The two men don't get along well, but share a mutual respect that allows them to work together. They also share a willingness to bend the rules, which they do frequently as their investigation progresses.

The film's conclusion is somewhat predictable but somehow writer-director Joe Carnahan rises above the clichés and predictability to make a pretty good cop movie. It all hinges on the performances of Patric and Liotta. The believability of these two great actors combined with Carnahan's awesome handheld camerawork gives Narc an immediacy and purpose that lends suspense to the predictable.

The film isn't a mystery, any intelligent moviegoer knows where this story is going but we accept that because both Patric and Liotta are so endlessly watchable. As Liotta's brutal cop allows his motives to become clear you see the disillusionment that most cops must feel when they get into this violent and harrowing profession. Combine the rigors of the job and a deep personal loss and you begin to understand if not sympathize with his violent rule breaking approach. As for Patric, few actors have played cops so well fleshed out. Nick Tellis shares the same disillusionment as Liotta's Oak, he shares the same penchant for crossing the line between cop and criminal. They are separated only by moments in time.

The film's ending is a kick in the gut finisher that leaves the audience in a daze and makes you rethink everything you had seen before it. Everything leading up to the end is typical, cop movie suspense stuff, made watchable by great acting and unique camerawork. But the ending belongs to Carnahan who also penned the script. Forget what you hate about cop movies and forget what you think you know about Narc. This is a shocking brutal crime movie with a serious kick.

Movie Review: Tropic Thunder

Tropic Thunder (2008) 

Directed by Ben Stiller 

Written by Ben Stiller Justin Theroux, Etan Cohen 

Starring Ben Stiller, Robert Downey Jr, Steve Coogan, Jack Black, Nick Nolte, Danny McBride

Release Date August 13th, 2008 

Published August 12th, 2008

Ben Stiller may seem all mild mannered and inoffensive but he has a rather pronounced dark side when he wants to. It came out when he played Jerry Stahl in Permanent Midnight. And that dark side was unfortunately on display in his ugly direction of The Cable Guy. But it is not until now, with the release of the savage Hollywood parody Tropic Thunder that we finally see Stiller at his darkest. Sending up full of themselves actors, greedy agents, and maniacal studio heads, Stiller pulls no punches and lands frequent, hilarious, body blows.

In Tropic Thunder Ben Stiller writes, directs and even stars as action movie legend Tugg Speedman. The star of the over-ripe action series Scorcher, Tugg's star is fading and he is craving the respect that only Oscar can bring. That is why he chose to star in Simple Jack, the story of a severely mentally challenged farm worker. The role was universally derided.

Speedman was lucky to land a role in Tropic Thunder a Vietnam book adaptation with an all star cast and Oscar written all over it. Sort of. The film has the gravitas of a Vietnam story but it also has a first time director (Steve Coogan), an inexperienced crew, and an out of control budget. And then there are his co-stars.

Jeff Portnoy is the star of the comedy franchise The Fatties in which he plays every character and every joke is a fart joke. Portnoy also happens to have a wicked heroin addiction to complete the package. Kirk Lazarus is a completely different kind of problem child. A multiple Oscar-Emmy-Golden Globe award winner, Lazarus is legendary for immersing himself so deeply in a role that he loses himself.

Once, after portraying astronaut Neil Armstrong, he was found in dumpster attempting to fly it to the moon. For Tropic Thunder Lazarus has undergone a medical procedure to dye his skin so he can play an African American Sgt. The cast is rounded out by a rapper named Alpa Chino (Brandon Jackson, read the name again if you didn't get it the first time), and a first time actor named Kevin (JayBaruchel).

Together the cast is such a pain in the ass that the director finally decides he has to change the whole production. At the urging of the writer of the book, a nutball vet nicknamed Four Leaf (Nick Nolte, in full Nick Nolte mode), the director is taking the cast into the real jungles of Vietnam where they will shoot the movie guerilla style with handheld and hidden cameras with real explosions, provided by an inexperienced tech guy (Danny  McBride) with an itchy trigger finger.

Unfortunately, not long after arriving in the jungle, the director goes missing and the cast is engaged by real life inhabitants of this jungle setting, drug smugglers who mistake them for DEA agents. Now the cast is involved in a real war only they don't know it.

Ben Stiller tapped out the script for Tropic Thunder with his pal Justin Theroux and they hold back nothing in demonstrating the self involved nature of most actors, directors and studio people. The studio head in Tropic Thunder is an especially delicious parody, of whom only Stiller and Theroux know for sure. Played by an unrecognizable Tom Cruise, the studio head is a maniac with a penchant for Diet Coke and hip hop dancing.

Cruise has never been this unrestrained and balls out hilarious. He bites into this role with the same verve and vitriol that he brought to his misogynists' guru in 1999's Magnolia and it's a contest to tell which character required more swearing.

Tropic Thunder is loud, violent, stupid and offensive. It's also, arguably, the funniest movie of 2008. If you can put aside the controversies, you are going to laugh a lot at this most deserving beatdown of Hollywood imagemakers. There are jokes in Tropic Thunder that are intended to make you uncomfortable or even angry and yet, you often can't help but laugh at just how outland and bold these jokes are. I don't want to here the R-word slur toward the mentally handicapped but it is hard to deny, in the context of Tropic Thunder, it's use apt and very, very funny. I'm deeply ashamed at laughing as hard as I did, but I did laugh. 

As for Robert Downey in blackface... well..... I was sure this would be the most controversial element of Tropic Thunder. Fortunately, Stiller and Theroux do try to defuse the situation with Brandon Jackson's Alpa Chino character calling out the blatant and disgusting racism at play. Meanwhile, Downey Jr himself does well to make sure Kurt Lazarus has few redeeming qualities, he's clearly a terrible person. The movie is hard on Hollywood by being hard on these characters who represent elements of the Hollywood in need of a serious punch in the gut. Downey's shots at the pretentious Method Actor, are terrifically, savagely funny.

Delivering unto the Hollywood elite the smackdown they so desperately deserve, Tropic Thunder is the rare Hollywood satire to throw punches and actually land a few. The public generally isn't interested in Hollywood talking about itself, even when it is being self critical, but with Tropic Thunder comes a Hollywood self examination that comes with big laughs that don't require you to have read obscure tomes about Hollywood legends and bastards.

Movie Review Why Him?

Why Him? (2016) 

Directed by John Hamburg 

Written by John Hamburg, Ian Helfer 

Starring James Franco, Bryan Cranston, Megan Mullally, Zoey Deutsch, Griffin Gluck 

Release Date December 23rd, 2016 

Published December 22nd, 2016

Why Him(?) is an ungainly, awkward, mess of a movie. The film stars James Franco as one of the most off-putting characters ever brought to the screen, a tech billionaire named Laird who has no concept of how normal people interact. This could be a funny idea, the super-rich can tend to lose connection to the concerns and proprieties of the common man, but, Franco's performance isn’t merely that of a charmingly out of touch kook, but rather a genuinely out of sorts sociopath played as a comic creation.

Bryan Cranston co-stars with Franco in Why Him(?) and is apparently trying to create a character just as annoying as his co-star. Cranston is Ned Fleming, the father of Stephanie (Zoey Deutsch) who has gone off to college in Silicon Valley and fallen madly in love with Laird. Stephanie has invited the whole family, including her mother, Barb (Megan Mullally), and brother Scottie (Griffin Gluck), to fly to California from their home in Michigan to spend the holidays with her and Laird who they will meet for the very first time.

Laird's shtick is that he says everything that comes into his head with no filter. He curses to a degree that would shame Melissa McCarthy and is so incredibly disconnected from everyday small talk that he has no problem discussing sex with his clearly offended future in-laws. Even as everyone around him is clearly offended and uncomfortable with Laird's behavior he is completely oblivious and somehow this is supposed to be funny. It's not, it's just hard to watch.

For his part, Cranston plays Ned as a joyless crank. He’s miserable from the moment he arrives in California from Michigan and remains miserable through the films forced and predictable finale. So, Ned is a miserable character with no sense of humor, no jokes to leaven his miserable premise and the most that Cranston can seem to do with the character is physical shtick that is more like watching someone amid a mental breakdown than someone attempting physical humor. Cranston gesticulates and tenses every muscle and spits every line of dialogue and never once does something funny.

The supporting players in Why Him(?) come away far better off than the leads. Megan Mullally, a veteran of TV sitcoms, seems to know just where to pick her spots for her few jokes, while poor Zoey Deutsch spends most of her time trying to dodge the two leads whose gesticulations as they strain for every joke had to be rather dangerous for any co-star who wandered too closely. Keegan Michael Key, playing Franco's oddball, German accented, assistant Gustav, at the very least could fight back. His running gag is randomly attacking Laird as a way of developing his self-defense, a joke that falls flat, especially once Cranston begins trying to explain it.

Why Him(?) is completely derailed by a pair of lead performances that could not possibly be less appealing. The fact that both Cranston and Franco are former Academy Award nominees only compounds the problem. We know these two actors are better than this awful material and watching them act down to this garbage idea is just depressing.

I blame Director John Hamburg for most of the problems with Why Him(?). Having allowed his actors to do a great deal of improvisation, at least I assume that was improv, otherwise there is an editor who needs to find a new profession, Hamburg created the sloppy, slapdash environment that lead to this mess. Even worse, Hamburg fills out the awfulness by relying on bathroom humor with toilets and urine playing significant roles in the film.

What is it with John Hamburg and bathrooms? Bathroom issues have figured prominently in his humor in most of his movies from the cat that could flush a toilet in Meet the Parents to Ben Stiller's irritable bowels in Along Comes Polly to the fart jokes of Hamburg's one good movie, I Love You Man, Hamburg seems either obsessed with bathrooms or he's merely childish and lazy. Toilets figure prominently throughout Why Him(?) which ends with a post-credits scene all about toilets with pictures of people using the toilet. Ewww. 

At the very least toilets are an apt metaphor for Why Him(?). This movie needs to be flushed.

Movie Review Assassin's Creed

Assassin's Creed (2016) 

Directed by Justin Kurzel 

Written by Michael Lesslie, Adam Cooper, Bill Collage

Starring Michael Fassbender, Marion Cotillard, Jeremy Irons, Brendan Gleeson, Charlotte Rampling

Release Date December 21st, 2016 

Published December 20th, 2016

I cannot win with this review. I can, in my mind, already hear the voices of those who say that because I don’t like videogames I cannot appreciate a videogame movie. Then there are those who will recall the number of times I have decried the videogame movie subgenre and will also claim I went into “Assassin’s Creed” with bias. My only response to these spectral voices is believe whatever you want, Assassin’s Creed is simply not a very good movie, videogame adaptation or otherwise.

Michael Fassbender stars in “Assassin’s Creed” as Callum Lynch, the son of a murdered mother and a murderer father who grows up to be a killer himself. We meet the adult Callum on the day he is to be executed for what we can only assume was some sort of murder spree. The execution however, does not take and Callum wakes up in Spain where he’s been kidnapped by the Knights Templar who plan to hook Callum to a machine that can access the memories of his ancestors (just go with it).

Callum’s ancestors were members of an ancient order of Assassins known as the Creed. The Creed were created to battle the Knights Templar and specifically keep the Knights from getting their hands on The Apple, literally the apple taken from the tree knowledge in the Garden of Eden. For the reasons of the plot the Apple has the power to remove free will from the world and grant the Knights Templar the power to enslave humanity.

Through his time in the machine, called the Animus, Callum will learn the story of the Creed and will polish his assassin skills. Will he use those skills to continue his family legacy? Yeah, probably, the Knights Templar are obviously the bad guys here. Nevertheless, I will leave some mystery for you to discover if you choose to subject yourself to “Assassin’s Creed,” though I do not recommend that you do that.

“Assassin’s Creed” is a forgettable bad movie, not one that will leave much of any lasting impression. Michael Fassbender and co-stars Marion Cotillard, Jeremy Irons and Michael K. Williams are all professionals who give life to the material even if it proves unworthy of the effort. Fassbender is a physical specimen whose glower certainly can petrify an enemy but he’s at a loss to overcome the CGI splattered all around him in messy edits that render every frame of “Assassin’s Creed” a minor eyesore.

“Assassin’s Creed” comes from Director Justin Kurzel whose adaptation of “MacBeth,” yes that “Macbeth,” also starred Michael Fassbender and Marion Cotillard and was similarly an eyesore. At least his “MacBeth” has ambition, Kurzel’s “Assassin’s Creed,” on the other hand, feels like an attempt to appease a studio eager for a well-known product to churn into a formula franchise that creates new revenue streams and elevates stock prices.

Poor Michael Fassbender; he seems lost in a Hollywood that doesn’t understand his gifts. Despite that chin that could cut glass and eyes that could pierce steel, Fassbender isn’t a classic “movie star.” We, the popcorn chomping blockbuster masses, simply respect him as an actor too much to watch him act below his skill level. Sure, his version of the “X-Men” villain Magneto is well liked but we’d all hoped that was his “one for them” studio picture that would let him get back to being a real actor.

Instead he has stranded himself in “Assassin’s Creed” as another “one for them” movie and we are left to lament the kinds of performances he could be dedicating his time too. Quirky, wonderful indie flicks like “Frank” and “Fish Tank” gave us the Michael Fassbender we truly want while “X-Men” was supposed to be the insurance for the next “Frank” or “Fish Tank.” Now, with “Assassin’s Creed,” who knows where Fassbender may be headed, probably cruddier looking CGI claptrap. What a shame. 

Movie Review The Holiday

The Holiday (2006) 

Directed by Nancy Meyers 

Written by Nancy Meyers 

Starring Jack Black, Cameron Diaz, Jude Law, Kate Winslet

Release Date December 8th, 2006 

Published December 7th, 2006 

Director Nancy Meyers is the master of fluffy, Hollywood love stories. Her Something's Gotta Give and What Women Want are big star vehicles that indulge heavily in Hollywood glamor and fantasy romance. Her latest film, The Holiday, is her best effort yet at bringing romantic fantasy to the screen. Teaming Cameron Diaz and Jude Law, Meyers crafts a couple more photogenic than an entire J.C Penney catalog and a dream romance that audiences cannot help but eat up like movie popcorn.

Warm, buttery and oh so simple, The Holiday is the kind of light hearted and light headed fluff that is the perfect holiday escape.

In a small town just outside of London, Iris (Kate Winslet) is working through her company Christmas party when her boss makes a big announcement. The man that Iris has been seeing for nearly three years is getting engaged, but not to her. Devastated, Iris needs to get out of town before she does something awful.

Meanwhile, in Los Angeles, Amanda (Diaz) is at the end of her relationship with Ethan (Ed Burns). In the most clichéd fashion, Ethan has been sleeping with his much younger secretary. After throwing him out, and leveling him with an impressive right cross, Amanda wants out of L.A for the holidays. Luck and chance leads Amanda to a website advertising home exchange. This is where Amanda meets Iris and the two offer each other the chance to escape their sad states by switching homes.

In London, Amanda moves into Iris's cozy rural cabin and finds herself visited in the middle of the night by Graham (Jude Law), Iris' brother. Slightly drunk, Graham charms his way right into Amanda's bed as she takes a chance on some guilt free vacation sex with a good looking guy she is unlikely to ever see again. Of course, we already know that nothing could be that simple and the two are soon romancing.

Back in L.A Iris makes a match of her own but not the one you might expect. Iris's new neighbor is Arthur (Eli Wallach) an old Hollywood screenwriter who Iris befriends when he gets lost trying to find his house. Iris helps him home and is invited for dinner and an education in film classics. Jack Black does eventually show up as Miles; a more age-appropriate love interest for Iris but it is Wallach's Arthur who steals the show.

The fun of The Holiday is watching great looking actors indulge lives of frivolous excess for our amusement. Escaping into their perfect pretty lives is a fun little distraction like a cookie or a chocolate bar. Too many film critics get uptight about movies like The Holiday, or really anything directed by Nancy Meyers. For my money, movies like The Holiday are just a treat. Beautiful to look at, easy to forget and fun to catch in late night reruns when nothing else is on.

Movies don't always have to reflect reality or present some grand metaphor. Sometimes movies just have to entertain and that is what The Holiday is all about. Pure entertainment.

Glamor is an oddity in this day and age. There is an overabundance of glamor off the screen. Flashbulbs pop at movie premieres, outside nightclubs and even grocery stores in Hollywood. On the other hand, glamor on the screen is not merely absent, it's often frowned upon, especially by 'serious artists'. That is why, for my money, a movie like The Holiday is such a welcome sight. The Holiday transports audiences back to a time when glamorous stars were allowed to be glamorous stars.

Is it frivolous? Absolutely. That's part of the fun. The Holiday is a candy coated, glamor production in which the people are all unbelievably good looking, locations are lifted from picture postcards, and situations are resolved in 90 minutes with laughing, dancing and hugs. Some people find their escapist fun in hobbits or the force, others in watching Jude Law romance Cameron Diaz. Why is one more worthy than the other?

There are many movies like The Holiday and I have been quite hard on many of them. What separates The Holiday is the combination of chemistry and familiarity that Nancy Meyers specializes in. Assembling an all star cast of Hollywood luminaries, Meyers indulges in romantic fantasies that, while they aren't original by any stretch, are more appealing and better looking than most similar fantasies.

Nancy Meyers skill is in, essentially, re-gifting romantic clichés. Meyers wraps a beautiful new bow on familiar romantic stories. The key is that she does it better than other directors and with better actors. This was a skill that was highly valued back in the movie factory days of the studio system and is now frowned upon in the post-auteur era.

There is nothing remotely important about The Holiday and that is part of its charm. This is pure glamorous escapism that basks in the glow of star power and fantasy romance. I don't want every movie to be as unimportant as The Holiday. However, from time to time the kind of movie that Nancy Meyers makes is a welcome respite from gritty action, bloody horror, and even from the importance of a great drama.

Movie Review: The Sitter

The Sitter (2011) 

Directed by David Gordon Green 

Written by Brian Gatewood, Alessandro Tanaka 

Starring Jonah Hill, Sam Rockwell, Max Records, A.J Graynor, J.B Smoove 

Release Date December 9th, 2011 

Published December 10th, 2011 

Jonah Hill's comic appeal isn't much different from that of Will Ferrell; both are an acquired taste. Just as not everyone enjoys Ferrell's outlandish schtick not everyone enjoys Jonah Hill's foul-mouthed, raging-Id routine. For those who do enjoy them however, their films are a treat. Count me in as a fan of Jonah Hill and thusly someone who really loved "The Sitter."

Meet the Sitter

Noah (Hill) is a shiftless layabout with both daddy and mommy issues. That said he's not an altogether bad guy. When his put upon, far too indulgent mother (Julie Hecht) is about to lose out on chance at a night on the town Noah begrudgingly agrees to babysit for the family friends who are setting his mom up on a date.

Meet the Kids

This is, of course, a fateful choice; Noah is in for the night of all nights. First, we meet the kids. The oldest is Slater (Max Records) who's obsessed with his anxiety medication. Slater's little sister Blithe (Landry Bender) is quite a handful; she wants to be a celebrity and acts as if she may be a lost Kardashian child. And then there is Slater and Blithe's adopted brother Rodrigo (Kevin Hernandez) who's talent for destruction is a catalyst for much unexpected action in "The Sitter."

But first, it's Noah who gets the ball of bad choices rolling. Noah has been spending time with Marisa (Ari Graynor) a horrible girl who uses Noah for, shall we say, sexual favors. And tends not to return the love. When she calls Noah and promises sex in exchange for cocaine, Noah's libido overrides his good judgment and the story of "The Sitter" kicks in.

'Adventures in Babysitting'

There are a number of parallels between "The Sitter" and the 80's teen classic "Adventures in Babysitting" including a lost and damaged minivan and an escape from a black nightclub that culminates with our hero winning respect and a helpful group of new friends.

The similarities end there however as "The Sitter," directed by "Pineapple Express" auteur David Gordon Green, is a gloriously filthy movie that well earns its R-Rating. The opening moments of "The Sitter" feature oral sex and things only get better from there in terms of the exceptional lowbrow humor that is Jonah Hill's forte from "Superbad" to "Knocked Up" through "Funny People" and elsewhere.

For Fans Only

You have to be a big fan of Jonah Hill to get past the many plot contrivances and conveniences but if are a fan, there is a lot to enjoy here. Hill is a funny, sympathetic and charismatic comic whose comic sensibilities really connect with those of us who enjoy him. For those that don't enjoy Jonah Hill; there is any number of other movies out there for you; "The Sitter" is for fans only.

Movie Review: The Warrior's Way

The Warrior's Way (2010) 

Directed by Sngmoo Lee 

Written by Sngmoo Lee 

Starring Jang Dong Gun, Kate Bosworth, Geoffrey Rush, Danny Huston 

Release Date December 3rd, 2010 

Published December December 2nd, 2010 

The ‘mash-up’ is a relatively recent invention. It’s a musical invention that came to prominence on the internet in the late 90’s and early oughts and then took off with the release of DJ Danger Mouse’s crashing together of Jay Z’s Black Album with the Beatles’ White album and created a minor sensation. Since then mash ups have moved into every aspect of pop culture from music to TV to books and of course at the movies where the latest mash up involves a slamming together of slice and dice Asian cinema with the tropes of the old school American/Italian Western.

The Warrior’s Way stars Korean leading man Jang Dong Gun in his American film debut. In The Warrior’s Way, Gun plays Yang who, in prologue, is shown becoming ‘The Greatest Swordsman in the World.’ Part of this designation involves the near complete destruction of his rival clan. Only one member of his long time rivals remains, a baby. It is Yang’s task to kill this child but something stops him and instead of carrying out this final assassination; Yang goes on the lamb with the child. Taking off for America, Yang soon finds himself in a rundown western town where the gold rush boom clearly went bust.

Of the 60 or so residents of this town most are circus performers whose production crashed here and never moved on. The circus troupe is lead by Eight Ball (Tony Cox) who happens to have been a friend of a man that Yang was hoping would take him in. Sadly, Yang’s friend is long dead when he arrives leaving behind a rundown laundry business that Yang is expected to take up.

Indeed, with a push from Lynne (Kate Bosworth), Yang does take to the laundry business and soon the business of killing is replaced by the comfort of cleansing and the peace of a desert garden that Yang somehow brings to life. For a time things look ideal as Yang and the newly dubbed baby April look like they could settle in with Lynne and become a family.

Of course, we know this cannot last and things come to a deadly end with the arrival of a former Civil War soldier, The Colonel (Danny Huston). With his deadly band of former soldiers The Colonel arrives in town with revenge in mind. The last time he was here he was disfigured by a teenager whose name escaped him. That teen was Lynne.

As the conflict with The Colonel develops Yang’s former master Saddest Flute (Ti Lung) is patiently waiting for Yang to pick up his sword again and reveal his location. The sword you see cries, carrying the deathly screams of the souls it has taken. When it is unsheathed it reveals where Yang is and allows Saddest Flute and his clan to find him.

Director Sngmoo Lee sets this Asian/Western mash up in a CG universe that exists in eternal twilight. The sun seems to constantly be rising or falling, never fully up or down. The constantly purpling landscapes are dreamy and unique even as they are more noticeable than they should be.

The CGI bloodbath that ensues from frame one until the third act denouement is less impressive than the landscapes. Though Jang Dong-Gun has a strong presence he seems light on the actual physicality and is restricted to sliding and gliding while super quick edits and CGI blood spatter do the actual fighting for him.

Even less impressive is the work of Ms. Boswoth and Mr. Huston who go to extremes of their character in order to find a beat to play against this atonal computer landscape. For Ms. Bosworth it means adopting a ludicrous Western accent and tomboy clothes and for Mr. Huston it means a variation on his tired bad guy growl and a higher than usual creep factor expressed in his sexual fetish for teeth and scars. Eeewww.

I have not even mentioned Oscar winner Geofffrey Rush who plays a Western sharpshooter turned rummy. Billed as Ron though rarely referred to by name, Rush stumbles into scenes, takes over because he is clearly the most interesting actor in the scene and stumbles out to wait for the plot to make use of him again. Rush is among the elements wasted in this 40 million dollar epic of computer generated boredom. The Warrior’s Way wants to be cool; it is Cowboys vs. Ninjas, but it simply doesn’t have the goods.

A stone faced lead, bizarre supporting performances and a mindlessly pretty CGI background add up to just about nothing in The Warrior’s Way. Those who love CGI blood splatter and the implied cool of Jang Dong-Gun you may find something to like about The Warrior’s Way. Me, I’ve already forgotten The Warrior’s Way and begun pining for the next odd genre mash up: Cowboys vs. Aliens.

Movie Review The Hangover Part 2

The Hangover Part 2 (2011) 

Directed by Todd Phillips 

Written by Craig Mazan, Scot Armstrong, Todd Phillips 

Starring Bradley Cooper, Zach Galifianakis, Ed Helms, Ken Jeong, Justin Bartha, 

Release Date May 26th, 2011 

Published May 25th, 2011 

The working theory for "The Hangover Part 2" is '˜if it ain't broke, don't fix it.' The '˜it' in this case is the basic premise from the first film which is tweaked only with a location change. The characters, the jokes and even a few of the scenarios are almost exactly the same as they were in the original "The Hangover." And yet, "The Hangover Part 2" is truly as funny as or funnier than the original.

Stu's Getting Married

Stu (Ed Helms) is getting married and because his bride's (Jamie Chung) parents are from Thailand the wedding will be taking place there. Phil (Bradley Cooper) and Doug (Justin Bartha) are both coming to the wedding but Stu is not surprisingly reticent about inviting Allen (Zach Galifianakis). After all, Stu still puts napkins over his drinks since the first film, out of fear of being rufied again.

After a little pleading from Doug, Allen is invited and, no surprise, at all it happens again. The how and the why are part of the fun so I won't spoil it for you. The guys end up in Bangkok with, of all people, Chow (Ken Jeong), the gangster who the guys accidentally kidnapped in Las Vegas. This time, Chow is Allen's plus one at the wedding much to Stu's surprise.

Where's Teddy?

Among the slight changes to the original are of course the location and the missing guy. In the original they lost Doug, this time it's the bride's little brother, a 16 year old pre-med student named Teddy (Mason Lee). As in the first film our heroes have no memory of the night before and must retrace their wild night to figure out where Teddy is.

"The Hangover Part 2" is only slightly more outrageous than the first film but the few moments that go beyond the original film go well beyond. Do not go in thinking that director Todd Phillips and company have run out of ways to shock you because "The Hangover Part 2" goes places that would make "The Hangover Part 1" uncomfortable.

Paul Giamatti in, Liam Neeson out

Watch out for Paul Giamatti in a cameo as well as Mike Tyson but the much talked about Liam Neeson cameo is out. Director Todd Phillips has a funny cameo but you likely wouldn't recognize him, few people actually know what directors look like unless their name is Speilberg or Hitchcock. Nevertheless, Phillips is an over the top natural.

"The Hangover Part 2" rehashes just about every scenario from the first film, including seeing far too much of Ken Jeong sans clothes, and throws in a monkey for good measure. Zach Galfianakis once again steals scene after scene with his sweet, naive maniac act. Galifianakis plays the role of Alan so well that just a tilt of his head is enough to get a big laugh.

It's not for the faint of heart and definitely not for kids'"really, movie theaters shouldn't be allowed to show Hangover Part 2 in the same building as Kung Fu Panda 2, just to be safe--but I do recommend "The Hangover Part 2" for some very big, very outrageous laughs and a good deal of nostalgia left over from the first film.

Movie Review The Happening

The Happening (2008) 

Directed by M. Night Shyamalan

Written by M. Night Shyamalan

Starring Mark Wahlberg, Zoey Deschanel, John Leguizamo

Release Date July 13th, 2008

Published July 12, 2008 

M. Night Shyamalan's The Happening is awful in the most unique and spectacular way. It leaves me with this strange excitement and curiosity, the kind usually inspired by a really good movie. For instance, when I saw I'm Not There, the Bob Dylan bio, I was so excited I wanted to know more about Dylan, read his books, interviews and especially, I wanted to hear his music.

With The Happening I feel quite similar. I am devouring interviews with Shyamalan and the opinions of fellow critics who seem thus far not to grasp the enormity of the spectacular awfulness of The Happening. I am desperately searching for a clue as to whether M. Night Shyamalan is an elaborate genius who has fooled us all with not a movie but a prank. Or is The Happening really intended as a supernatural horror film in the tradition of the B-Movie feature. Is this blinding mess of a movie a real attempt on his part or the most elaborate punking in history. Is M. Night Shyamalan the next Andy Kaufman or the next Coleman Francis?

The Happening would be the ultimate meta-parody if Shyamalan did indeed intend to make us laugh. However, I think he meant to do this. I think he intended to make this movie and believed it to be frightening, suspenseful and well acted. If that is the case. then what I witnessed is the ultimate career self immolation in history. The thing about self immolation for me. I don't get it. But I do admire the commitment it so obviously requires. The dedication to a cause so obviously lost is, at the very least, impressive.

By now I should have delved into the plot and given you some impression of what the movie is about, the action that is taking place. I can't bring myself to do that here because really there isn't a plot. There is some stuff that happens; but no real thesis statement or rallying cry. Those who choose the path of least resistance and take the film at face value will tell you it is an environmental fable. Trees release toxins causing humans to line up and kill themselves in grizzly fashion. That is an easy description but the truly keen observer will note that no one really knows what is happening in The Happening.

Those who choose the path of least resistance and take the film at face value will tell you it is an environmental fable. Trees release toxins causing humans to line up and kill themselves in grizzly fashion. That is an easy description but the truly keen observer will note that no one ever actually reasons what is happening in The Happening. So coy is Shyamalan about the hidden evil of his horror epic that you never really know what or if indeed anything is Happening? Trees or terrorists? The CIA? George freaking Bush? Who knows. Shyamalan, doesn't seem to know and from the lackadaisical approach to plot and character, he doesn't seem to really care.

Who does care? Mark Wahlberg seems to. The star of The Happening is committed to this mess and sacrifices dignity and career to satisfy whatever he thinks is Shyamalan's vision. It's an astonishing performance of earnest honesty and blind commitment. To what? He has no idea. Wahlberg I'm sure was hoping Shyamalan would bring it all together in the editing room. Remember, this guy survived the chaos of David O. Russell in I Heart Huckabees. He's used to weirdo directors and scripts that seem to have a mind of their own beyond his character.

Unfortunately for Wahlberg, where Russell did indeed have a point of view to satisfy with his chaotic approach, Shyamalan either betrayed him with this practical joke or had no such perspective at all. Poor Zooey Deschanel comes off even more dazed than Wahlberg. Not only is she lost and confused by the material, Deschanel brings a level of sitcom kitsch to her performance that leaves her looking as if she wandered into the wrong movie. Certain scenes, like avoiding the call of an unwanted admirer or her potential pregnancy seem like takes for her Dharma & Greg audition in some alternative universe.

John Leguizamo is at least left with his dignity as his character checks out early enough to avoid the stench, the same cannot be said for journeyman character actor Frank Collison whose tandem monologues about hot dogs and plants will have even diehard Mystery Science Theater fans hitting the eject button. So folks, there you have it. Is M. Night Shyamalan the living legacy of the great comic genius Andy Kaufman? Is The Happening his equivalent of Kaufman reading the Great Gatsby until the audience simply became irritated and walked out?

Or is Shyamalan really a modern day Coleman Francis who got lucky a couple times at the box office but in reality is a guy who should be making movies in his basement with friends and cronies from some small town movie fiefdom. Does he live in that Ed Wood like cocoon of sycophants and well wishers who allowed Wood to go on for years without acknowledging his utter ineptitude? Unfortunately dear reader, you will have to see The Happening in order to form an opinion on that. The simple answer is the cocoon of sycophants. The more intriguing and satisfying choice is the practical joke. I believe the first answer, I long for the second.

Movie Review: Valkyrie

Valkyrie (2008) 

Directed by Bryan Singer 

Written by Christopher McQuarrie, Nathan Alexander 

Starring Tom Cruise, Kenneth Branagh, Bill Nighy, Tom Wilkinson, Terence Stamp

Release Date December 25th, 2008 

Published December 24th, 2008 

Why? Why did Bryan Singer, Christopher McQuarrie and Tom Cruise attempt to turn Valkyrie, the story of a failed attempt to kill Hitler in 1944, into a suspense thriller? As stated in my brief description, it's a FAILED attempt to kill Hitler. Anyone who thinks that is a spoiler needs a history class and not a trip to the movies. The choice to frame the story of German hero Claus Von Stauffenberg as a thriller is a damning choice that dooms Valkyrie from beginning to end.

Tom Cruise essays the role of Klaus Von Stauffenberg as a man who was already disillusioned with Hitler's Germany before he was approached about killing the Fuhrer. Having been sent to North Africa to fight on a losing front of Hitler's war expansion, Stauffenberg urged a higher ranking official to contravene orders and get the soldiers out of Africa.

Before he can give the order the higher ranking officer is killed and Stauffenberg is badly wounded. He lost his right eye and right hand in the attack and was returned to Berlin. There he is approached by Major-General Tresckow about joining a group of Generals and politicians who want to overthrow Hitler.

They think they can get the job done politically. Stauffenberg however, has a more permanent idea. He and others advocate the idea that Hitler must die if there is to be change in Germany. And, he even has a political plan as a backup. It's called operation Valkyrie and if executed perfectly it could allow for an orderly change of power once Hitler is dead.

We know going in that Stauffenberg was executed for attempting to kill Hitler with a bomb at the Fuhrer's Wolf's Lair hideout. The complicated plot was ingenious and the resistance lead by Stauffenberg has been deified by those in Germany desperate for the rest of the world to know that not all Germans followed in lockstep with the evil dictator.

There is more than enough drama in the ideas behind Stauffenberg and company's plot to make an interesting, historic epic. Unfortunately, the path chosen by those involved in the movie Valkyrie is to make a thriller based on the timing and execution of the Valkyrie plot, the one we already know fails. Worse yet, the failure is a piece of forced dramatics involving the weak will of one of the conspirators. 

How much of what we see is history and what is fiction is unknown but what is onscreen fails to be thrilling, suspenseful or even modestly compelling. I am one of the rare few admitted big fans of Tom Cruise. It has become quite fashionable to despise the former biggest star on the planet. I do not subscribe to that fashion. I think Cruise is one of the most charismatic and compelling leading men in Hollywood history.

That makes Valkyrie all the harder for me to watch. To play the Teutonic Stauffenberg Cruise dials down his most compelling aspect. He drowns his charismatic persona in a pool of dense concentration and the tightest sphincter this side of Nurse Ratchet. Generally, Cruise does uptight better than anyone. However, the schtick as in Jerry Maguire or Vanilla Sky is going from being uptight to allowing himself to lose control and go with the flow. Valkyrie calls for Cruise to be intense and stay that way and quickly that becomes stifling.

With his charisma dialed back Cruise's intensity becomes a serene mask of seriousness that just isn't suitable to him. It's the kind of ferocious inner fire that an actor like Joaquin Phoenix exudes with every breath. Cruise is more effective when he mixes aggravation with charm. Stauffenberg as written is charmless and Cruise is ill-suited.

Bryan Singer is too good a director for the film to fail in craftsmanship and there is nothing wrong with the construction of Valkyrie. Where the film fails is in the choice of trying to make it a suspense thriller. It's a simple question - how can you have suspense and thrills when you already know how everything turns out.

As Stauffenberg races from the Wolf's Lair thinking he has killed Hitler we aren't breathing heavy as he is because we know he failed. The scene is tragic but only in our minds. It's as if Singer and McQuarrie don't know it's tragic. To pretend that the outcome isn't known is an act of foolishness that undermines the tragedy and drama of the Stauffenberg plot.

Movie Review The Happytime Murders

The Happytime Murders (2018) 

Directed by Brian Henson 

Written by Todd Berger 

Starring Melissa McCarthy, Joel McHale, Maya Rudolph, Elizabeth Banks 

Release Date April 24th, 2018 

Published April 23rd, 2018 

A number of critics have called The Happytime Murders the ‘worst movie of 2018.’ These critics apparently forgot about 15:17 to Paris or The Maze Runner Death Cure. The Happytime Murders is undoubtedly bad, I completely agree with that sentiment; but not worst of the year level bad. Mostly, the film is a failure of a central idea, that idea being that puppets acting like raunchy, obnoxious humans is funny just because they are puppets.

Melissa McCarthy stars in The Happytime Murders as Detective Connie Edwards, the former partner of the first ever puppet police detective, Phil Phillips (voiced by Bill Barretta). Edwards and Phillips, now a private detective, are thrown back together when a series of murders involving the cast of a popular puppet television show comes to center on Phil as a possible suspect, one of the victims was Phil’s own brother.

Phil somehow winds up at the scene of each murder and though we know he’s not the killer, it’s no surprise that he becomes a wanted man. The plot then turns on whether he and his former partner can put aside their past and work to clear his name and solve the horrific series of murders. It’s a rather straight-forward plot and if it starred human actors instead of puppets you might have a hard time seeing Happytime Murders as a comedy.

Director Brian Henson, the son of Muppets creator Jim Henson, hasn’t had much experience directing feature films and his inexperience shows in how clumsy the approach to tone is in The Happytime Murders. Dark comedy is tricky and if you can’t get the tone just right your film will fail and Henson never finds the right vibe for this movie. Everything is far too serious and straightforward and the plot relies far too heavily on the idea that puppets are inherently funny.

Henson appears to believe that seeing a puppet act in a human fashion, especially an obnoxious or raunchy fashion, is funny regardless of the context and for me that was not the case. I found parts of The Happytime Murders downright bleak with one dark comic gag falling short after another. The film relies heavily on cop movie clichés but doesn’t do anything to deconstruct those clichés other than embody them with puppets.

Melissa McCarthy has the only good moments in The Happytime Murders. McCarthy’s Connie has a very funny Jerry Maguire moment when she thinks she's been fired from her job and delivers an unhinged monologue on her way out the door. Beyond that however, and an occasional funny line late in the movie, even McCarthy appears to take the material of The Happytime murders a little too seriously, or, at least, serious enough that the comedy fails to land.

Puppets doing human things just isn’t funny on its own. Comedy requires context and structure and timing and The Happytime Murders has little context, only modest structure and the puppets make timing jokes for the human characters difficult. Melissa McCarthy is an actress whose timing is impeccable in most of her movies but she’s off throughout The Happytime Murders because she’s stuck trying to bounce off of non-human characters who can’t react to her usually effective wordplay.

If it sounds like I hated The Happytime Murders let me assure you that I don’t hate it. I just don’t think it is very good. The film is far more forgettable than it is offensive. The badness comes not from a lack of effort, there is a clear amount of effort on display from the remarkable puppeteers who make the puppet characters feel alive. Rather, it’s the kind of badness that likely only came around as the film was being cut together and the filmmakers slowly realized they hadn’t written any good jokes, just a series of dramatic, clichéd, contexts that are only funny if you think puppets are funny regardless of context or character.

An example: is it funny that Melissa McCarthy encounters a puppet junkie? The puppet is a drug addicted former TV star. The character doesn’t have much to do, doesn’t do much in the way of jokes, aside from a shot or two at McCarthy’s appearance, and then he’s dead. Is it funny that this comes from a puppet? For me, the answer is no, I need the character to actually be funny, to do or to say something funny.

That said, if you find puppets always funny regardless of the context or content, then perhaps this movie is for you.

Movie Review: Vanilla Sky

Vanilla Sky (2001) 

Directed by Cameron Crowe 

Written by Cameron Crowe 

Starring Tom Cruise, Penelope Cruz, Cameron Diaz, Jason Lee 

Release Date December 14th, 2001 

Published December 15th, 2001 

The combination of Tom Cruise and Cameron Crowe is a meaningful one for me. This duo of director and star created my favorite movie of all time, Jerry Maguire. To be honest though my hopes were not high for their newest collaboration Vanilla Sky. My concerns were warranted with Crowe venturing out of his normal romantic dramedy safezone and Cruise hiding his leading man looks under piles of mangled makeup, Vanilla Sky was a huge gamble, one that I'm happy to report pays off bigtime.

Sky casts Cruise as David Aames, a jet-setting magazine impresario, emotionally stunted but staked by a father's fame and fortune. David has no meaningful relationships merely friendships of convenience with a woman named Julie, played by Cameron Diaz, who David sleeps with but still only considers a friend. David's best friend is a writer played by Jason Lee, but he too is merely convenient. David is bankrolling his buddy's book deal and though he calls him his best friend his tone doesn't convey that he means it. 

David Aames' life is changed forever when he meets Sophia, played by Penelope Cruz. David is immediately drawn to her and after spending one night with her without sleeping with her he vows to change his life work harder and take himself and those around him more seriously. Then tragedy strikes and this is where the film gets really interesting veering off in different directions, Thriller, Romance and even social commentary all of which is deftly handled by Crowe with his direction and razor sharp scripting. 

Early in the film I found it difficult to buy Cruise as a snowboarding, slacker, trust fund baby. But as the film goes on the character grows up quickly and becomes more Cruise-like; cocky, self assured but always shading the breakdown that is just under the surface. No one plays emotional devastation like Cruise, who is able to communicate agonizing emotional pain with his facial expressions better than any actor I've ever seen. 

The films supporting performances are just as good with Jason Lee as the standout. Yes it is hard to believe that Lee and Cruise as best buds but the film uses that lack of chemistry to add a deeper level to their relationship, one that plays into the unusual mystery unfolding throughout Vanilla Sky. Penelope Cruz is surprisingly good; I've never liked Penelope Cruz before but in Vanilla Sky I saw something I hadn't seen from her before, a pulse. 

The real star of Vanilla Sky though is cinematographer John Toll who should be nominated for his 4th Oscar for his beautiful work. Toll and director Cameron Crowe don't just make Vanilla Sky look good, they make it look too good in a way that plays into the central mystery of the movie. It's very subtle but those paying attention will be floored by the time the ending has arrived and how the bright visuals and color palette of Vanilla Sky was helping to tell the story. 

Vanilla Sky has the feel of a Kubrick film filtered through Cameron Crowe's pop sensibility, and that for me is an unbeatable combination.