Movie Review: Waiting

Waiting... (2005) 

Directed by Rob McKittrick

Written by Rob McKittrick 

Starring Ryan Reynolds, Amy Faris, Justin Long Alanna Ubach, Dane Cook, Luis Guzman

Release Date October 7th, 2005 

Published October 6th, 2005

There is an art to low or crude humor that makes it work. The brother directing duos of the Weitzs (American Pie) and the Farrellys (There's Something About Mary, et al) have mastered the formula of lowering the level of humor to childish levels but still delivering very funny movies. The formula works only when the lovable natures of characters and the pathos they bring from the audience is equal to the level they degrade themselves to.

The new movie Waiting..., written and directed by first timer Rob McKittrick, goes to new lows to achieve its humor but without characters we love and feel for it's an exercise in both crudity and futility.  

Shenaniganz is one of those cloned chain restaurants that pervades the parking lots of mini-malls around the country. Inside, its staff are the kind of wage slave drones biding their time until they graduate college, get fired, or end up in prison. Justin Long stars as Dean, a 22 year old finally confronting his arrested development. While high school friends are graduating from University and getting high paying, real life, jobs, Dean is wrapping up a general arts degree at Community College and contemplating the chance of becoming assistant manager of the restaurant.

Ryan Reynolds plays Dean's best friend and roommate, Monty, who is defined by his raging libido and rapid fire wit, essentially Van Wilder kicked out of college. Monty's job on this day in the life of Shenaniganz is to be our narrator without actual narration. Monty is training Mitch (John Francis Daly) which gives him the opportunity to introduce the rest of the cast and set the stage for all of the seriously low humor to come. It's a clever gimmick that removes the need for a third person narration and sets the stage for the films main running gag 'the penis game'.

Waiting... features a huge cast of well known and recognizable characters that include veterans Luis Guzman, David Koechner and Chi McBride; newcomers Dane Cook, Andy Milonakis and Kaitlin Doubleday; a couple of "Hey where have I seen them before?" types in Robert Patrick Bennett and Alanna Ubach; and established stars Reynolds and Anna Faris, the only members of the cast to have toplined a feature before.

Waiting... suffers the typical pitfalls of such a large cast, the main one being the loss of continuity caused by trying to find time for each character. The main story seems to be Justin Long's Dean struggling to grow into an adult but he is too often shuffled offscreen for his storyline to take hold. The only consistency in Waiting... comes from its series of running gags about sex, genitalia and the classic urban legend of the food service industry: What are they putting in the food?

Waiting... revels in the juvenile humor that the Farrelly brothers made safe for the masses in Dumb and Dumber and that was furthered by the Weitz's in the original American Pie which brought low humor to a whole new mainstream blockbuster generation. Unfortunately for Waiting... it lacks the elements that elevates low humor from mere shock for shock's sake to transcendentally funny. Where the Farrellys humanize the craziness with pathos and the Weitz brothers humanize it with lovable characters, Waiting... simply has no time for either. You never feel for the characters in Waiting... because you simply don't get to know them well enough and some of them you don't want to know at all.

There is something to be said for the economy of characters.  American Pie, for example, focused on four main characters and worked to establish each before delivering the humorous humiliations. These characters were familiar, the actors made them lovable and pathos is borne of that. Waiting... is simply too crowded to establish its characters beyond stereotypes and placeholders and thus we could care less when they are hurt or triumph.

The women of Waiting... especially suffer from the lack of characterization. Each of the ladies fall into types: the girlfriend type, the best friend type, the bitch type and the less pervasive lesbian type.  None of the woman break the mold of their character.  Even Faris, who gets marginalized early on, is given only one scene, a verbal showdown with Reynolds where she shows the comic chops that made the Scary Movie series so funny.

Another big problem with Waiting... is its look. The film looks as if it was shot through a bad lens. The look of the film is grainy and distracting. There is very little visual imagination in Waiting... which is damning because of the colorful setting which lends itself to creative set design. The film never takes advantage of either the restaurant setting or the condo set of Monty and Dean's apartment which also contained strong possibilities.

The best films combine the creative and technical aspects of filmmaking. Waiting... is in the hole from the outset because little care is taken for the look of the film and the various other technical aspects of film craftsmanship, lighting, camera work and especially set design.

Do not under any circumstance see Waiting... before you go out to dinner. Waiting... does for the restaurant kitchen what Psycho did for the shower, what Jaws did for the ocean, and what Silkwood did for nuclear waste. Heed the films warning; never send it back. The scenes portrayed in the kitchen in Waiting... are not for the weak stomach. They are also only rarely funny. A perfect example of the film's hit and miss humor, the kitchen scenes are either riotously funny or a complete strikeout.

With all of the things wrong with Waiting... it's still often quite funny. Even the lowest of all of the running gags in the film has its moments and of course I'm talking about the penis game. Not wanting to be too detailed because the film goes into way too much detail itself, the penis game consists of finding sneaky ways of getting co-workers to look at your exposed genitalia. Points are assigned for the various different kinds of exposure and punishment is assigned for those who fall for it.

As outrageous as it seems I know guys who could do this. Listening to the game as it is explained and watching it unfold I feared for the fact that I could ever witness such a thing, because I actually could. Uggh! Still I cannot deny that I laughed a few times at the horrifying ways that director Rob McKittrick worked this running gag.

The unfortunate part of this gag, however, is the homophobia inherent in its conception. Part of the rules of the game, as part of the punishment, is calling the victim a fag and the punishment is punishment for falsely perceived homosexuality. Though I know that this is not meant to be harmful, it is undeniably homophobic and plays to the basest of stereotypes. Attempts to excuse homophobia by acknowleging it only serve to affirm it. Am I being too politically correct? Maybe, but the joke is so excessively homophobic that at some point it goes beyond good natured ribbing.

The cast is a group that could really make a very funny movie but not this movie. The film's charismatic lead actors Long, Reynolds and Faris required more screen time in order to pull the film into the mold of a real movie as opposed to the stop and start episodic piece that is this finished product. The producers of Waiting... simply could not resist the stunt casting of hot comic Dane Cook and MTV star Andy Milonakis. Neither one does a particularly poor job but taking time out for them pulls the focus of the film away from telling a coherent story. 

Even with all of deficiencies in Waiting... I see little standing in the way of this film becoming a cult classic. Among its target audience of frat boys and service industry drones the film was a hit from its trailer to its commercials. There are just enough laughs in Waiting... that the core fans are likely to be satisfied and will scoop the film up on DVD.

The setting is so ripe for this type of sendup that it was very difficult for this film to miss completely and it doesn't. It does miss though and where it misses is in creating characters we identify with and care for. Without those characters all you have are a group of talented funny actors creating a hit and miss gag reel of grossout jokes, not a funny movie.

Movie Review Green Lantern

Green Lantern (2011) 

Directed by Martin Campbell

Written by Craig Berlanti, Michael Green, Marc Guggenheim, Michael Goldenberg

Starring Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively, Peter Sarsgard, Mark Strong, Angela Bassett, Tim Robbins

Release Date June 17th, 2011 

Published June 16th, 2011 

"Green Lantern" is the latest superhero story to hit the big screen following the spring adventures of "Thor" and the summer spectacular that was "X-Men: The First Class." "Green Lantern" however, is the first of these superhero flicks to feature a big star as the big hero. Ryan Reynolds, long on the road to superstar status, plays the heroic Green Lantern and while the casting is alright there was little any star could have done to improve the rather limp story.

Hal Jordan, Our Hero

Hal Jordan is a bed-hopping, test-pilot with serious daddy issues. So serious, in fact, are Hal's unresolved issues with his late father, that he nearly crashes his plane as he distractedly recalls his dad's death. Naturally, Hal comes through the crisis alright but not without angering his best friend, and would be love of his life, Carol Ferris (Blake Lively.)

Putting aside Hal's daddy and romantic issues, he is a special guy and we know this because a purple alien guardian from another world carrying a very powerful green ring and a green lantern tells us so. Of the billions of people on earth Hal Jordan has been chosen as humanity's protector, the newest member of the universal force known as the Green Lantern Corp.

The Green Lantern Corp

Soon, Hal has a special suit and mask that are made from -- well we aren't quite sure what. The suit seems to generate directly from Hal's own skin and the fewer questions asked about the suit's (ahem) functionality (?) the better. Through his alien ring and lantern Hal can now create anything he wants using only his mind.

If we go with Hal to his training on a distant planet we are just asking for this plot description to grow far too unwieldy and since the plot isn't great to begin with let's just leave it at special voice appearances by Geoffrey Rush, Michael Clark Duncan and go to bad guy Mark Strong as sort of a good guy.

Peter Sarsgard is creepy

Back on earth Hal will have to defend humanity against a former colleague and friend, Dr. Hector Hammond (Peter Sarsgard) who has contracted an alien infection that somehow managed to make him even creepier than the massively foreheaded, dweeby, community college professor he already was.

There is also a good deal of nonsense related to a giant monster cloud of what I believe is fear energy combined with some all powerful alien creature. Honestly, I stopped caring so early on in "Green Lantern" that I tuned out whatever wasn't Ryan Reynolds being cute and Blake Lively flashing her beautiful, "Gossip Girl" half smile; truly is there a woman in the world who is so attractively bemused?

Fanboys Only

"Green Lantern" was directed by Martin Campbell who is an immensely talented director. Here, however, Campbell hits the wall with far too much fanboy nonsense and not nearly enough stuff that's interesting to people who aren't in fealty to the D.C Comics legend. I assume, because I am not familiar with the comic, that much of the stuff I found goofy and nonsensical was some kind of homage or nod to the faithful? How else do you explain it?

The thing about a great superhero movie like "Batman Begins" and "The Dark Knight" or "Spiderman 1 & 2" or the "Iron Man" movies is they were good movies first and comic book movies second. The best of the genre add the fan touches on the sides in the periphery. "Green Lantern," like "Thor," places the comic book stuff first and in doing so leaves the non-comic fan distracted and waiting for the actual story to kick in.

Not Recommended for General Audiences

When the story never really kicks in it only serves to magnify why the filmmakers included all of the comic book stuff, they didn't have enough of a compelling original story to push the fanboy stuff to the sides. I liked Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively and the voice of Geoffrey Rush, as some kind of muscled up alien fish, but in the end that is not enough for me to recommend "Green Lantern" to a general audience.

Now, if you are a fan of the comic book Green Lantern, I do recommend the movie. You are going to get it on another level. You will enjoy the stuff I found goofy and or needless. You will get the stuff that I found distracting. You, Green Lantern fan, may just really enjoy this movie and bully for you. Enjoy.

Movie Review: Wicker Park

Wicker Park (2004) 

Directed by Paul McGuigan

Written by Brandon Boyce 

Starring Josh Hartnett, Rose Byrne, Matthew Lillard, Diane Kruger 

Release Date September 3rd, 2004 

September 2nd, 2004 

When Josh Hartnett starred in Jerry Bruckheimer’s awful blockbuster Pearl Harbor, his next-big-thing status was just hitting its stride. Then, his first solo starring gig, 40 Days and 40 Nights tanked. Then his shot at action stardom opposite Harrison Ford in Hollywood Homicide also failed. Suddenly the next big thing was next to nothing.

That may explain why the film Wicker Park, a once highly buzzed about remake of a French movie called L’Appartement, ended up in the September waste bin. It is quite a shame that MGM has chosen to give up on this film because it’s really not that bad.

A plot description for Wicker Park is a bit of a minefield. There are a number of important twists and turns that are better left unmentioned. What can I tell you without giving anything away? Well, Josh Hartnett stars as Matthew, a dour young ad exec who has just moved back to his old Chicago neighborhood, the artist enclave Wicker Park. Two years earlier Matthew moved to New York to escape the memories of a lost love.

Her name was Lisa (Diane Kruger) and it seemed like they would be together forever. Then out of the blue, right after he asked her to move in with him, she vanished. No note, no phone call, no explanation whatsoever. Despondent, he took the gig in New York and disappeared himself.

Now back in Chicago, Matt has reconnected with his old friend Lucas (Matthew Lillard), thanks to a chance meeting on the street while Lucas was leaving lunch with his girl, Alex. Alex has a mysterious connection to Matt that is one of the film’s more intriguing plot points. Later, as Matt is having dinner with his new fiancé Rebecca (Jessica Pare), he thinks that he saw Lisa leaving the restaurant, a sight that sends him into a tailspin and effects everyone he knows.

Director Paul McGuigan and writer Brandon Boyce, adapting the original French screenplay by Gilles Mimouni, have crafted a dense, often confusing story of lost love, manipulation and heartbreak. Step away from the movie at the end and you realize that this twist filled story has a rather thin plot. The film uses many flashbacks, often covering the same scene more than once. This use of flashbacks tends to confuse the film’s timeline and leave the audience playing catch-up.

However, as confusing as this film can be it’s also surprisingly engaging. Hartnett in particular does a tremendous job of drawing in the audience, gaining our sympathy and delivering in the big emotional moments. He is well matched with Kruger (whose face launched a thousand ships in Troy) with whom he has a terrific chemistry. Matthew Lillard is quite a surprise in a strong supporting role in which he drops his usual obnoxious posing in favor of real acting.

Lillard does not spark with Rose Byrne’s Alex but he’s not necessarily supposed to. Alex is the most complicated character in the film and also the most difficult to describe without giving something away. I can say that Byrne, who had a walk on in Troy with Diane Kruger, does what she can with this difficult role. If she did not succeed it’s likely because of how the character is written as opposed to her performance.

McGuigan, whose previous film was the underrated The Reckoning, does a fantastic job of disguising this paper-thin plot. His film style evokes a Eurpoean aesthetic, a likely nod to the film’s French roots. From its color palettes to its somber mood, it is very easy to imagine Wicker Park set in the classic French traditions of sidewalk cafes and disaffected artists. The script includes a quick nod to the Italian master Fellini, who also knew a little something about making the most of a thin plot.

Wicker Park is a stylish, well-acted romantic drama the likes of which we rarely see anymore. Yes, the plot is thin and becomes quite obviously so after you leave the theater but the good in Wicker Park far outweighs the bad. What makes it work is Hartnett in what could have been a comeback performance if MGM hadn’t decided to give up on it. What a shame to have your career best performance in a film so few people will see.

Movie Review Pokemon Detective Pikachu

Detective Pikachu (2019) 

Directed by Rob Letterman 

Written by Dan Herdandez, Rob Letterman, Benji Smart, Derek Connelly 

Starring Ryan Reynolds, Justice Smith, Kathryn Newton, Suki Waterhouse,Bill Nighy 

Release Date May 10th, 2019 

Published May 8th, 2019 

Pokemon Detective Pikachu is some hardcore fan service. In fact, if you are not immersed in the universe of Pokemon, you aren’t likely to find much to enjoy beyond the occasional Ryan Reynolds quip. Reynolds himself is a kind of Pokemon fan service as giving this franchise the voice of one of the world’s most popular and charismatic actors is akin to one of the cool kids passing up the cool kid table in the cafeteria so he can sit with the A.V Club and they can absorb some of his aura. 

Pokemon Detective Pikachu opens in pure, visual chaos. A car is escaping from a mysterious lab facility while being chased by a powerful Pokemon called a Mewtoo. The Mewtoo appears to blow up the car, knocking the vehicle over the side of a bridge. The driver appears to have been killed but the swirling vortex of CG chaos makes it impossible to know what happens and since this is our introduction to the story, we are at a loss to care much for what is happening. 

The film slam cuts from the car crash to a field in a small, vaguely Asian town. Tim Goodman (Justice Smith) is one of the few people in his small town who doesn’t have his own Pokemon, a tiny, animal-like creature, who people capture using a special ball that opens up to capture the Pokemon, but only if the Pokemon likes and trusts its new owner or master or trainer? I’m not familiar with the terms and the movie is less than forthcoming for newcomers. 

Tim’s lack of interest in Pokemon is a reaction to his father’s dedication to Pokemon, as a law enforcement officer with his own Pokemon partner named Pikachu. Work took his father away and Tim resents Pokemon for his dad not being around when his mom died. Tim is soon thrust back into his father’s world however when he receives a message that his father was in a deadly car accident. 

Tim must travel to his father’s home in Rhyme City, the rare place where Pokemon and humans live in harmony together. Everyone has their own Pokemon and peace reigns as the two species live in harmony under the watchful leadership of Howard Clifford (Bill Nighy). Howard created Rhyme City as a utopia for Pokemon and humans alike. Naturally, however, there are snakes in Eden and Pikachu is on the lookout. 

Pikachu was believed to have died in the crash that killed Tim’s father so when the two come face to face in Tim’s father’s apartment, they nearly kill each other. In what we are told is a completely unfathomable anomaly, Tim has the ability to hear Pikachu speaking English. No one else on the planet has the ability to communicate with a Pokemon directly and this will not be used in any useful way beyond quips, lots of quips, mildly amusing, inoffensive, only occasionally funny, quips. 

Together, Tim and Pikachu will team with ace junior reporter Lucy Stevens (Kathryn Newton) to find the source of some strange Pokemon behavior. This strange behavior harkens back to the days before humans and Pokemon became friends and it is the key to finding out who is behind Harry’s disappearance, the dangerous Mew-Too and the apparent intention to create a rift between Pokemon and humanity. 

Rob Letterman directed Pokemon Detective Pikachu and he has packed it full of stuff that Pokemon fans will adore. There are Easter eggs on top of Easter eggs with appearances by fan favorite Pokemon doing fan favorite Pokemon things. Characters from the longtime Pokemon cartoons make cameos, I am assuming, special attention is paid, ever so briefly, to a character even I recognized from years of cultural osmosis. Fans will be excited and the inclusion could hint at a wider Detective Pikachu-Pokemon cinematic universe. 

Or so I assume, only Pokemon fans will be able to tell me if I am right or wrong about that. The bottom line issue that I have with Pokemon Detective Pikachu is with the remarkable amount of fan service. The movie is very bland and basic in its general storytelling and so the only thing left in terms of making Detective Pikachu special would either come from making it funny, which it really isn’t or in making it so packed with Pokemon stuff as to render story unnecessary for the hardcore devotees. The makers of this movie went with the second option and left non-Pokemon fans scratching our collective heads waiting for Ryan Reynolds to get funny.

The story takes elements of the mystery genre and mushes them up into a highly predictable story arc. The opening scene is meant to provide a mystery that will play out over the course of the movie but the story cheats this opening repeatedly throughout the movie to fit the narrative. This particular narrative feels as if it was altered numerous times, something strongly indicated by 6 credited writers for Pokemon Detective Pikachu. 

If you can’t tell who the bad guy is from the cast list you aren’t really trying. It’s glaringly obvious throughout where the movie is headed, albeit the actual endgame of the story is a tad bizarre, but by then it was hard to care. In fact, a lot of fans might really have liked what the movie plays as an evil scheme, but that’s an odd digression for another, spoiler filled time. Weird ending aside, there isn’t a story beat in Detective Pikachu that will surprise you from the mismatched partners, the convenient bouts of amnesia, to a third act separation that is so perfunctory the screenwriters should step on screen to introduce it while thanking and giving credit to every screenplay guide ever written.

But, as I stated earlier, I am not the audience for this movie. I am not a Pokemon fan. I have nothing against Pokemon, I know plenty of people who find Pokemon delightful. I am just not into it, it doesn’t do anything for me and since the movie isn’t very funny, even Ryan Reynolds is missing that classic Ryan Reynolds wit, there isn’t much for me to invest in. Fans of Pokemon will likely flip for all of the neato Pokemon stuff in Detective Pikachu but if you are not part of the cult of Pokemon, you’re better off sitting this one out. 

Movie Review The Cookout

The Cookout (2004) 

Directed by Lance Rivera 

Written by Laurie B Turner, Jeffrey Brian Holmes 

Starring Queen Latifah, Jennifer Lewis, Storm P, Danny Glover, Ja Rule 

Release Date September 3rd, 2004 

Published September 4th, 2004 

Not being African-American myself it's difficult for me to complain about the way African-Americans are portrayed in the movies. Still I find the segmentation of black actors to be one of the most disturbing things about the movie business. It was something that crystallized with the release of the movie Soul Food in 1997. Hollywood took notice of that film’s breakout success and saw the potential of films with all black casts to make money only appealing to black people.

That's not an indictment of Soul Food, which did appeal to a number of people beyond African-Americans. It is the way that subsequent films of similar appeal have been so cynically made and marketed to African-Americans that I find disturbing. Hollywood marketers underestimating the savvy and intelligence of moviegoers began packaging cheap stereotypes and recycled clichés with all black casts in the hopes that the paucity of quality entertainment featuring African-Americans would draw in that segment of the audience. It is with that same cynicism that The Cookout reaches theaters.

Cobble together loose stereotypes under a banner of one big star (Queen Latifah) and just hope that at least black people will come and see it. The cynicism and dare I say racism that comes from that approach flows from the screen and what is supposed to be a comedy feels disturbing and uncomfortable to watch.

The film stars Storm P as basketball star Todd Henderson. Todd has just become the number one draft pick of the New Jersey Nets and is ready to celebrate. With his mother Emma (Jennifer Lewis) and dad JoJo (Frankie Faison), Todd is ready to throw a traditional Henderson family cookout at his brand new multi-million dollar pad. The place is perfect with a big backyard and Todd's expendable millions. This should be the best family cookout ever, but if it were that easy we wouldn't have a movie.

Todd has a new girlfriend Brittany (smokin hot Meagan Good) who complicates everything by getting on mom's nerves. Brittany was raised in the suburbs, obsessed with social climbing and has no idea what a cookout is all about. She does know how to spend Todd's money, on the decorating of the house, on fancy European chef's and expensive cars, and anything else that might drive Todd's mother crazy, especially since Todd and Brittany have no plans for marriage.

Todd's family is a collection of movie cliches so tired that they aren't worth mentioning other than to mention that Tim Meadows, Godfrey and Reg E. Cathey play various family members too dull to name. The supporting cast outside the family is actually quite good, especially Eve who plays Todd's childhood best friend who's grown a lot from the awkward girl he knew as a kid to challenge Brittany for his affection. Sadly, her part is very small.

The other good supporting role is that of the security guard played by Queen Latifah. Latifah is credited with writing the screenplay, which if true is mind blowing. Maybe she only wrote her part, which is by far the best thing in the film. Latifah gets all of the film’s big laughs, which are few and far between. The remaining supporting players are treated worse than the cliched family members, especially poor Danny Glover who sacrifices all dignity in a poorly written stereotype of a black man acting like an uptight white guy.

The less said about Ja Rule in the film’s unnecessary bad guy role the better. I would tell Ja to not quit his day job but his recent album sales leave him few options.

What Cookout really comes down to essentially are its two disparate lead performances by Storm P, real name Quaran Pender, and Jennifer Lewis. When I say disparate I mean they are two very different performances. Where Pender melts unnoticeable into the scenery while Lewis stands out and damn near makes this thing work with her sheer force of will. Lewis' role is an underwritten cliche, clipped together from pieces of other movies featuring domineering black mothers. Yet Lewis manages to make many of her scenes work. Were the film about her and not Storm P's character the movie might have had a chance.

Sadly, who am I kidding, this film never had a chance. Cookout is the cynical invention of a marketing department salivating at the opportunity to appeal to what they see as a reliable niche market. They aren't concerned with making good movies starring African-American casts, the studios simply want them cheap and fast with the thought that just having black people in starring roles is enough to draw small segmented audiences, just enough to make a little profit. Cynicism is bad enough but combined with racism as it is here it's disturbing.

Movie Review: Comic Book Villains

Comic Book Villains (2002) 

Directed by James Robinson

Written by James Robinson 

Starring Donal Logue, D.J Qualls, Cary Elwes, Natasha Lyonne, Michael Rappaport 

Release Date September 3rd, 2002 

Published September 9th, 2002 

The comic book fanboy culture is ripe for satire. Such was shown in Kevin Smith's brilliant Chasing Amy. Comics aren't the center of that film but the scenes involving comics and the comic convention are comedic gold. Comic Book Villains aspires to tell the story of some serious fanboys but in reality it's a ridiculous farce with not one likeable character.

DJ Qualls stars as Archie, a comic fanboy who is beginning to grow out of his former obsession. Though he would never tell that to Raymond, his best friend and the owner of the most snobbish comic store in town, and proud of it. Raymond, played by Donal Logue, is the ultimate fanboy who won't speak to anyone who doesn't the names of the Fantastic Four, their alter egos, how they got their powers, which issue introduced what character and various other pieces of minutia someone with no friends and especially no dates would know.

Raymond's rivals in the comic biz are Norman (Michael Rappoport) and his wife Judy (Natascha Lyonne). Though they aren't comic book fans they know a quick buck when they see it.

The rivalry comes to a head when a 40-something collector kicks the bucket, leaving behind the ultimate comic collection. Raymond and Norman are each quick to pounce on the guy's clueless mom who never understood her son's obsession with those funny books. The mom is played by the venerable Eileen Brennen, and as she puts up with Raymond and Norman's incessant begging and pleading, she strikes up a real friendship with Archie who has been dragged into the mess by Raymond.

As the comic book war heats up both, sides begin to lose their grip on reality as they each plot a break-in of the old woman's house to steal the comics. Raymond goes as far as attempting to hire a hitman to kill the old lady and steal the comics.

The hitman is played by Cary Elwes and at the beginning, his character is the only sympathetic character in the film. He's a guy who's fresh from prison and looking to rebuild his life. Director James Robinson makes the hitman character both sympathetic and menacing which is supposed to prepare us for the film's climax. Sadly this fails as Elwes gets sucked into the plot's stupidity and is then crushed underneath it like all of the other characters.

Every character in the film is a complete moron, with the possible exception of DJ Qualls'sArchie who isn't as stupid as the other characters. Still, his character is just utterly useless. Archie narrates the story but is not really involved in it. He should consider himself lucky! Elwes, Logue, Rappaport and Lyonne probably wish their characters weren't involved in this ridiculousness but they are and they suffer greatly for it.

Writer-Director James Robinson has crafted a thoroughly unlikable film. Incoherent, ridiculous and endlessly stupid. The film is marketed as a comedy and you would think since it's about comic books, it would be, but it's not. In fact I'm not sure James Robinson intended to make a comedy. It seemed to me he was trying for drama and suspense. He failed miserably.

Movie Review: A Prairie Home Companion

A Prairie Home Companion (2006) 

Directed by Robert Altman 

Written by Garrison Keillor 

Starring Woody Harrelson, Meryl Streep, Tommy Lee Jones, Garrison Keillor, Lindsay Lohan, John C. Reilly, Kevin Kline

Release Date June 9th, 2006 

Published June 8th, 2006 

Words like quaint and charming are anachronistic in this day and age. They are anathema to modern audiences bred on irony and detached perspective. Garrison Keillor's A Prairie Home Companion has always been of another time. A time when quaint and charming were far from insulting, they were the height of faint praise, as Keillor himself might say.

Now that A Prairie Home Companion has been brought to the big screen, under the direction of the legendary Robert Altman, you might fairly assume that it has been somehow updates, jazzed up somehow for modern audiences. That is thankfully not the case. A Prairie Home Companion is as old fashioned as has always been on Minnesota Public Radio and the throwback nature is one of the films many great pleasures.

In the era of irony a little earnest homespun humor is just the thing to warm your heart and give you a good tickle. It's the last night for the cast and crew of A Prairie Home Companion. For 30 some years the WLD radio variety show has emanated from the Fitzgerald theater in St Paul Minnesota. However, now that the longtime heritage station has been sold to a major corporate chain, the show's over.

This is distressing news to long time performers like the Johnson Sisters, Yolanda (Meryl Streep) and Rhonda (Lily Tomlin) who have performed on the show since it's inception. Yolanda's late husband was the inspiration for the show and Yolanda had hoped her daughter Lola (Lindsey Lohan) might one day perform there one day.

Also distressed at losing their regular gig are the singing cowboys Dusty (Woody Harrelson) and Lefty (John C. Reilly) whose ribald tunes about life on the plains are one of the shows humorous highlights, unless your the shows harried producer worried about FCC violations.

Seemingly unaffected by the sadness of the last broadcast is the shows longtime host G.K (Garrison Keillor) who is intent on making the very last show just like the first one. Refusing any attempt at evoking audience sympathies, G.K will not say thank you or goodbye in any kind of grand fashion. Why even when one of the shows older performers passes away in his dressing room mid-show G.K refuses an on air eulogy telling the cast that if he were to start eulogizing his friends at his age he wouldn't stop till he was dead himself.

Lurking in the background backstage is the shows head of security an oddball right out of a fifties private eye movie the aptly named Guy Noir (Kevin Kline) when he's not watching the door or providing a running commentary, Guy searches for a mysterious blonde in a trench coat only known as A Dangerous Woman (Virginia Madsen).

Saturday Night Live's Maya Rudolf and the real life band and singers of the radio show A Prairie Home Companion round out the cast of this deliciously simple showbiz comedy. Simple in terms of smart character driven humor and old school showbiz pizazz.

Lurking behind this behind the scenes comedy is a bizarre whimsy that is pure Robert Altman. In bringing to life Garrison Keillor's radio show, Altman has brought literal life to some of his fictional characters including the aforementioned Dusty and Lefty and most importantly Guy Noir who has long been Keillor's favored creation outside the denizens of the fictional town of Lake Woebegone.

Guy's whole persona and function in the film are a delightful mixture of detective movie parody and straight comedy and in the person of Kevin Kline these elements reach a near symphony level of comic timing and perfection. Kline is more than worthy of a supporting actor nomination as the standout of this brilliant ensemble.

Meryl Streep provides the emotional center of A Prairie Home Companion. Yolanda is more than just a performer on the show, in the films history her family is entwined in the history of the show. Her husband was G.K's partner before he passed on. Yolanda herself was for a time entwined with G.K and her daughter has been coming to the show with her since birth.

Her colorful history, only alluded to, colors the film and brings depth to the emotions that resonate from her especially while on stage with her voice breaking belting out the same old time gospel songs she and her sister have sang on the show for years.

Streep's performance is not perfect. She along with Harrelson and Reilly occasionally betray their performances by allowing Hollywood affectations to leak through their Midwestern patois. Overall though the performances are universally strong.

Maybe most surprising of all is Garrison Keillor. Playing himself is certainly the kind of comfort zone any actor can thrive in but Keillor does truly impress with his deft wit and comic timing. Anyone who listens to his real life show on a regular basis will likely recognize that this is typical Garrison Keillor but the uninitiated will likely be very impressed with the his sleight of hand phraseology and warm charismatic nature.

In his most recent directorial effort the ballet drama The Company Robert Altman directed as if the whole thing bored him. The director was constantly allowing the camera to wiggle around and wander away from the actors, when they weren't dancing. It was as if he were directing from a script he didn't much care for and simple set the camera and walked away when he wasn't enjoying the ballet performances.

A Prairie Home Companion is a return to form for the great director. Fully engaged and even modestly excited about this smart, homespun material, Altman seems to delight in every last detail from Keillor's wacky fake product commercials to the style of Kevin Kline's haircut meant match that of a bust of the great F. Scott Fitzgerald whose bust is prominently displayed in the theater that is named for him.

A Prairie Home Companion is a masters class in Altman's managed chaos style. The film floats backstage to look in on Guy Noir and the backstage happenings and then simply glides back on to the stage for another song and a story. The flow is hypnotic when it's not laugh out loud funny. This is one of Robert Altman's best efforts in a very long while.

Quaint and charming may be curse words in this day and age but not in relation to this wonderfully quaint charming comedy from a master director and a master storyteller. A Prairie Home Companion is one of the best films of the year.

Movie Review Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle

Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle (2004) 

Directed by Danny Leiner

Written by Jon Hurwitz, Hayden Schlossberg

Starring John Cho, Kal Penn, Neil Patrick Harris, Ryan Reynolds, Anthony Anderson, Malin Akerman

Release Date July 30th, 2004 

Published July 29th, 2004 

I can’t be the only one for whom the words “From the Director of Dude Where’s My Car” are not reassuring. That said, you can’t judge a filmmaker by his only film. Director Danny Leiner deserves a chance to make a second impression. However, when I heard that his Dude follow-up was called Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle, I was less than enthusiastic. From the depths of low expectations can spring something amazing and Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle is amazing for the fact that it doesn’t suck.

Harold and Kumar are your typically mismatched pair of lifelong friends. Harold (John Cho) is a neurotic investment banker who is constantly put upon by his co-workers. Kumar (Kal Penn) has a high IQ and the test scores to go to any med school in the country, but he’d rather live off of his dad’s money and smoke some weed.

Well Harold and Kumar have that in common, they both smoke weed and when a White Castle commercial pops up on television they know exactly where to cure the munchies that accompany smoking the chronic. Kumar thinks he knows where the closest White Castle is but you know this is a buddy comedy road movie so this will not be that easy.

On the way to White Castle, Harold and Kumar encounter a group of skinhead extreme sports guys, a backwoods hick with a taste for group sex, an escaped leopard, racist cops and Neil Patrick Harris. Yes, that Neil Patrick Harris in the best of numerous cameos that also include Jaime Kennedy, Anthony Anderson and an unrecognizable Christopher Meloni as the previously mentioned backwoodsman.

The unique thing about Harold and Kumar is the smart satirical way it treats race. Harold is Korean, Kumar is Indian, but neither is defined by their ethnicity. They face racism at every turn and eventually they fight back in funny anarchic fashion, stealing cars, breaking into and out of prison, riding a leopard (see it for yourself).

Cho and Penn are a pair of terrific comic actors. Great chemistry, timing and charm. These two are really likable and you can’t help but cheer for them every humiliating, degrading step of the way. The few scenes they share with Neil Patrick Harris in a cameo as himself are absolutely hysterical. We have seen this type of career send up before, The Simpsons are famous for tweaking an actor’s past persona for ironic laughs, this time it’s somehow fresh and smart. That is because Harris is so committed and Cho and Penn sell the jokes so well.

Director Danny Leiner still has a way to go before we start praising his technique but this is unquestionably an improvement over Dude Where’s My Car. Of course, ninety minutes of blank screen would be an improvement over that film, but I’m trying to pay the guy a compliment. Harold and Kumar is a stoner comedy with all the stoner comedy beats and expected jokes. It’s juvenile and wades into the muck of gross out humor that genre does best.

Harold and Kumar would be valuable for just providing the rare starring role for a Korean guy and an Indian guy. It transcends that because those guys are actually very funny.

Movie Review: The Village

The Village (2004) 

Directed by M Night Shyamalan 

Written by M Night Shyamalan

Starring Joaquin Phoenix, Adrien Brody, Bryce Dallas Howard, William Hurt, Sigourney Weaver 

Release Date July 30th, 2004 

Published July 19th, 2021 

The Village is a real trip, an at times exceptionally well acted, epically misguided story of outsiders with a deep, dark secret. The film stars Joaquin Phoenix as Lucius and Bryce Dallas Howard as Ivy. Despite a slow start, the film slowly evolves as a mysterious 19th century romance with a twist of horror movie monsters hanging over it. The couple are residents of a colony that is cut off from the rest of the nearby towns by a forest populated by monsters who live in a delicate detente with the residents of The Village.

The town elders, led by William Hurt as Ivy’s father, Edward Walker, have raised their families in fear of the creatures who are fed a sacrifice of animal flesh on a weekly basis. Residents of the Village are not allowed to enter the forest and must not wear the forbidden color, red, which is said to set off the creatures. As we join the story, the monsters are believed to be raiding the town at night and causing a panic.

In the midst of the panic, Lucius begins to spend more and more time looking in on Ivy and her family and while he is a character of few words, Joaquin Phoenix as an actor communicates all we need to know about Lucius, he’s in love with Ivy and shows it by becoming her de-facto protector. For her part, Ivy is far more open and vocal about her feelings and these two approaches collide in the best scene in The Village in which they eventually declare their love.

I had forgotten about The Village since seeing it on the big screen in 2004. This led to a wild viewing experience in which I was convinced that I completely disliked it and then shocked to find myself deeply invested and enjoying it during this rewatch. No joke, I was riveted by the performances by Joaquin Phoenix, Bryce Dallas Howard, William Hurt and the supporting players including the brilliant Brendan Gleeson and Sigourney Weaver.

Then the third act hit and my memory came rushing back. Now I remember why I hated The Village back in 2004. The third act of The Village is a complete trainwreck. From the moment that Joaquin Phoenix is knocked into a plot device coma to the reveal of the big twist well before the actual end of the movie to the nonsensical and self indulgent ending, The Village goes completely off the rails.

The next section of this review of The Village goes into spoilers so if you still haven’t seen The Village and want to remain unspoiled, jump off now and come back after you see the movie, it’s on Netflix. We’ll be here when you get back.

The big twist of The Village is despite the setting in a village that even the tombstones indicate exists in the late 1800’s, the movie is actually set in modern America 2004. The monsters that provide the oppressive atmosphere of the first two acts aren’t real. The town elders portray the monsters as a way of keeping their families from trying to leave the village and find out about the modern world outside the forest.

William Hurt, it turns out, is a secret billionaire who, with the help of the elders, created The Village as a way of escaping the crime of the modern world that had tragically taken the lives of members of every family in town. This ‘twist’ is deeply problematic in numerous ways. For instance, why convince everyone they can’t wear red? Why make red a plot point at all? It never becomes important, especially after Hurt admits to making up the rules along the way/ 

At one point, after the creatures are revealed as not real, Bryce Dallas Howard, whose character is blind, is seen to have wandered into a field of red flowers and tense music plays and you’re baffled as you know there is no danger and she knows there is no danger and yet the movie wants the scene to be suspenseful because of the monsters. The monsters that, by this point, he's already revealed as fake. Why would we be afraid in this scene?

Why didn't the elders simply declare themselves Amish and create a colony based on those values? Why the elaborate ruse about the outside world? I get that they want to frighten the children into never leaving but there has to be something simpler than goofy-looking woods' monsters to convince people from leaving. This just seems like a lot of unnecessary work to hide a secret that doesn't need much hiding.

Shyamalan directs the third act of The Village as if he hadn’t revealed the twist ending at the start of the act. The movie straight up has William Hurt admit the elaborate lie to Bryce Dallas Howard and then sends her on a journey through the now completely safe woods that is then played as if there were still real monsters on the loose. When Howard finally makes it out of the woods it appears Shyamalan wants us to be surprised that we are in modern day America.

That would be fine if he didn’t tell us that before she ever actually left the village. The only real tension is that Howard’s Ivy is blind and must find her way through the forest alone and blind. This is something she manages quite well under the dire circumstances but raises the question of why Hurt didn’t just go himself. He gives some nonsense about how he vowed to never leave the village and yet he reveals the lies about everything to his blind daughter and then encourages her to leave the village on her own? Blind, going into the woods alone. At the very least, that’s awful parenting.

The Village stinks because it wastes two acts of a really compelling drama on a twist that wasn’t a twist and a series of nonsensical story beats that the script undercuts by revealing everything far too soon. We get the secret about the fake monsters and the modern day setting before Ivy leaves into the forest. The film has an action beat left courtesy of Adrien Brody’s offensive burlesque of a mentally challenged man but that’s not what we have been building toward.

We were promised a twist ala The Sixth Sense and what we got instead was a third act that would come to define the worst traits of M Night Shyamalan, his tendency toward convoluted and overwrought twist endings and big plot moments. In the third act, Shyamalan abandons the strength and heart of the film, the love story between Joaquin Phoenix and Bryce Dallas Howard in favor of nonsense action movie chases and a twist that he spoils himself before it can surprise us.

It’s a shame because there were two thirds of a really compelling movie in The Village.

Movie Review: Without a Paddle

Without a Paddle (2004) 

Directed by Steven Brill 

Written by Jay Leggett, Mitch Rouse 

Starring Seth Green, Matthew Lillard, Dax Shepard, Ethan Suplee, Burt Reynolds 

Release Date August 20th, 2004

Published August 19th, 2004 

Despite what many screenwriters will tell you, writing a screenplay is not that hard. Not hard at all if you're not interested in writing a good script. Simply follow the formula used by the writers of Without A Paddle: take three successful films, say City Slickers, Road Trip, and Deliverance, extract the most basic elements from each, and combine them into your movie. Be sure to read Screenplay Writing for Dummies to fill out your screenplay into the proper salable length and you’re done.

Without A Paddle stars Matthew Lillard, Dax Shepard, and Seth Green as three childhood buddies confronting life as adults after a friend’s death. Lillard is Jerry, a computer programmer who hates his job and can't decide whether or not to settle down with his girlfriend; for you screenwriters looking for character development shorthand, Jerry is a surfer with all of the stereotypical attributes of a surfer to fill out his character. That saves you having to write him witty dialogue or anything that might resemble an interesting character; he is a placeholder for a stereotype.

Dax Shepard is Tom, a part-time criminal, gambler, and full time ladies man. Again, a little screenwriter shorthand, the writers here use other characters’ conversations to establish Tom's colorful background (prison stays, casino trips, orgies). This is helpful because now you don't have to write the character anything interesting to do, simply tell the audience he is wacky and you’re done. Tom is a placeholder for a backstory far more interesting than the character that is written.

Finally, there is Seth Green as Dan, a doctor ,and by far the most successful of the three friends. Now, screenwriters, pay attention to the Dan character because he is an example of a modern comic rule that states that any comedy with more than one male lead must have one of those male leads be super-neurotic. Establish various fears and phobias and then add the nerd accouterments, asthma inhaler, pocket protector, bad glasses and a general fear of women. Again, you save yourself having to write an interesting, funny character.

The plot finds our intrepid trio paying tribute to their dead buddy by taking the canoe trip they had always dreamed of. The trip is special because it involves searching for the lost loot of D. B Cooper, the urban legend who robbed passengers on an airplane and leaped from the plane at an altitude that could only have killed him. It is an intriguing legend -- neither his body nor his loot have never been found -- that has inspired more than one film. If only it had inspired a better film than this.

From there, the boys head for the backwoods of Oregon where they quickly lose their way while fighting off a bear, a crooked sheriff and a pair of redneck dope dealers played by Abe Benrubi and Ethan Suplee. Both Suplee and Benrubi have seen better days. Also on the trip the guys commune with a pair of nutty environmentalist chicks and a backwoodsman played by Burt Reynolds who may hold the key to the Cooper legend.

One rather unique problem in Without A Paddle is one I mentioned briefly earlier in this review and that is the back stories given to key characters. Both the dead friend Billy and Dax Shepard's Tom have back stories that are way more interesting than the story we are forced to watch. Billy has climbed Everest, dated supermodels, and rafted the most difficult rapids in the world. Tom has been in and out of prison with all sorts of oddball encounters with criminals, scam artists, and beautiful woman. We see almost none of that and instead are treated to a very mundane road movie.

Mundane is a rather kind description for a film made by guys who think it's funny to have Burt Reynolds in their movie. Not that they have written anything funny for Mr. Reynolds, they just think that Burt Reynolds is funny. Is it kitsch? Is it ironic in some way? I have no idea and I doubt that poor Mr. Reynolds knows either, or cares as long as the check clears. Reynolds long ago surrendered his likeness to parody and now only acts for the dollars.

We should not be surprised that such a hack movie would be Directed by Steven "Adam Sandler's bitch" Brill. Brill was lenser on both Mr. Deeds and Little Nicky as well as the wretched Disney kids flick Heavyweights with Ben Stiller. Brill may have actually written the book Screenplay Writing for Dummies, he wrote Little Nicky as well as the wrestling comedy (tragedy?) Ready To Rumble and two Mighty Ducks movies. To his defense, however, he is not credited on Without A Paddle; that dubious honor goes to TV veterans Mitch Rouse and Jay Leggett.

The three leads Lillard, Shepard, and Green don't do themselves any favors but they don't embarrass themselves. Lillard, to his credit, is becoming less and less abrasive and off-putting with each role. Green will always have a place as a second or third banana and he will always have endless goodwill for his voicework on TV's Family Guy. As for Shepard, the former Punk'd star, he has a little charm. I like how he bites into a punchline but he never had a chance with this poorly written role. Based on this it's difficult to pass any kind of judgment on Dax Shepard.

I must admit that I laughed during Without A Paddle more than once. However it was mostly a reflex action from remembering funnier jokes from Road Trip or City Slickers and one quick reference that a character makes to Ned Beatty's moment of truth in Deliverance. This film is a perfect example of the kind of assembly line comedy that Hollywood executives excel at making. It's relatively inoffensive, not entirely inept but utterly unmemorable comedy that you will forget as soon as the credits roll.

Movie Review: Exorcist The Beginning

Exoricist The Beginning (2004) 

Directed by Renny Harlin 

Written by Alexi Hawley 

Starring Stellan Skarsgard, James D'arcy, Izabella Scorupco 

Release Date August 20th, 2004 

Published August 21st, 2004 

Let me begin this review with a confession. Readers of my columns already know that I have written frequently about the troubles plaguing The Exorcist film series. I have been quite critical of the film’s producers for jettisoning director Paul Schrader in favor of Renny Harlin because they felt Schrader did not deliver the kind of disgusting gore they had requested. Schrader's shabby treatment is a shadow over this film and until his finished version is released on DVD, that demon cannot be 'exorcised'.

With that out the way and my bias clearly in the open, we can discuss this highly unusual and tragically awful film Exorcist: The Beginning.

Father Lancaster Merrin (Stellan Skarsgard) is famous for having saved the life of young Regan McNeil in 1971's The Exorcist but he was not always a priest. In the 1950's, he was just another archaeologist digging up fossils in British-controlled North Africa. Merrin's days are spent drinking and nights spent tormented by memories of the time when he lost his faith in God. One day as Merrin is drinking, he is visited by a representative of the British government requesting that he take part in an archaeological dig that has uncovered an ancient church buried beneath the desert.

It is clear that Merrin's expertise as both a priest and archaeologist are what are being requested and Merrin is insistent that he no longer has religion in his life. Still his curiosity is piqued and soon he is off to the desert where the natives are restlessly and warily uncovering one of the most unusual finds in history. It is a church buried beneath the desert. On the dig, Merrin is joined by a priest from the Vatican, Father Francis (James D'arcy) who is to track Merrin's progress and report back to Rome, something Merrin is unhappy about. Father Francis believes this church may be the place where Lucifer fell.

Merrin is not there long before strange things begin happening. Villagers are falling ill, Hyena's are circling the camp and becoming increasingly aggressive. Eventually a young boy named Joseph (Remy Sweeney) is taken ill and the camp physician Doctor Sarah (Isabella Scorupco) can't find what is wrong with him. The villagers believe the boy is possessed and want to sacrifice him. It's up to Merrin and Sarah to protect him and eventually they will try and save him, exorcising him with the help of Father D'arcy. From there the film has a twist so mind-blowingly ridiculous it's worth the price of admission. Laughable is the best way to describe it. Campy kitsch. So funny I could almost recommend it, if you didn't have to sit through the rest of the film to get to it

Exorcist: The Beginning may sound like a straightforward story of one man's struggle with his faith and his spiritual reclamation but as directed by Renny Harlin it is a shrill, stupid horror cliche of bad twists and an insatiable lust for gore. The reason director Paul Schrader was dismissed and the film entirely reshot was that it wasn't gory enough for producer James G. Robinson. Renny Harlin made certain he did not make the same mistake and in so doing ratcheted the gore factor to an extreme that would make the most twisted imagination wince.

There are babies stillborn covered in maggots, fields of crucified bodies hanging from upside down crosses, and the most hacky of screen cliches, the child-in-danger manipulation. Numerous children, including the film’s lead child actor are placed in serious jeopardy and Harlin has the gall to portray the children’s murders without cutaways, something akin to child abuse for the young actors forced to fake their gory deaths.

Subtlety has never been Mr. Harlin's strong point, he famously failed spectacularly with Cutthroat Island, Driven and Deep Blue Sea. If you thought Mr. Harlin's special effects work in Deep Blue Sea was bad, wait till you see the horrendous CGI abortion he performs in this film. From bad CGI smoke in the film’s opening scenes to CGI Hyenas with glowing cartoon eyes to a makeup job in the film’s final moments that is something only Ed Wood could appreciate.

The blame for this abomination of Exorcist legend does not sit fully with Mr. Harlin. Most of the blame can be placed with producer James G. Robinson who has been quite vocal about his hands on approach to producing. He was rumored to have considered directing the film himself after firing Paul Schrader before settling on Renny Harlin. Mr. Robinson's hands on approach may be part of the reason why the film’s special effects are so bad, consider the film was finished just days before prints of the film had to be shipped to theaters. A producer’s decision no doubt. Delaying the film any further would push it out of it's comfy August release, a dumping ground for Hollywood's end of summer dregs.

Mr. Robinson's hands on approach has been seen on a number of his prestigious productions like Major League: Back To The Minors, Juwanna Mann and most horrifyingly alongside Director Paul WS Anderson on Soldier. While Anderson has taken most of the blame on Soldier, maybe there should be some revision of that legendary Hollywood story of how such a prized script was turned into such a bad movie to make room for Mr. Robinson.

I have been quite hard on this film and it deserves it. I have been hard on producer James G. Robinson and I think he deserves it as well (did I mention he produced Chill Factor? Sorry, distracted again). Mr. Robinson has a chance to prove me wrong when he releases Director Paul Schrader's version of Exorcist: The Beginning on DVD later this year. He has promised to release both films so that comparisons can be made and hopefully he is a man of his word. Even if Mr. Schrader's version is as bad as the producers claim, it certainly could not be as bad as the film they did release.

Movie Review Open Water

Open Water (2004) 

Directed Chris Kentis 

Written by Chris Kentis 

Starring Daniel Travis, Blanchard 

Release Date August 6th, 2004 

Published August 5th, 2004 

When I was told that the movie The Terminal was based on a real guy trapped at a French Airport, I was surprised. When I read that the left-in-the-ocean movie Open Water was based on more than one true story, I was blown away. I have been scuba diving, rather recently in fact, and the idea of being left at sea was a fear my friends and dive coach called crazy, impossible. No way that could ever happen.

Daniel (Daniel Travis) and Susan (Blanchard Ryan) are your average suburban couple. They have an SUV, well-paying jobs and the stress that your average suburbanite always must escape, at least temporarily, in places like Jamaica, Hawaii or some other tropical paradise.

Daniel and Susan’s getaway is some unknown tropical location where the drinks are served in coconuts and have umbrellas. They have planned a week’s worth of activities that starts with a morning of scuba diving. Daniel has been planning this for awhile with lessons, weather maps and watching Shark Week on the Discovery Channel.

The morning dive trip is marked by a pair of minor mistakes. First, the dive team miscounts the number of divers on the boat, 20 instead of 22. Then Daniel and Susan are separated from the group and take a little too long to come back up. When they finally do come up, the boat has left without them and what seems like an urban legend becomes dangerously real. Daniel and Susan have been left behind and no one knows they are gone.

Open Water was written, directed and edited by Chris Kentis with an assist by his wife and producing partner Laura Lau. Both have clearly studied the art of suspense. For long periods as Daniel and Susan bob up and down, nothing happens. Kentis makes terrific use of what people think they know about sharks and even gives a wink and a nod to the Discovery Channel’s wildly popular Shark Week.

Shot on digital video with all natural lighting and sound, aside from a soundtrack that drifts in and out, Open Water aesthetically resembles the minimalist values of European Dogme filmmaking. Though Lars Von Trier and his European brethren would look down their nose at a genre film, Open Water shows the true potential of the minimalist approach and its ability to be as or even more exciting than any big budget film.

The film's stars, Daniel Travis and Blanchard Ryan, must be commended for their commitment as much as their performances. The two actors spent more than 250 hours in the water surrounded by the very real dangers, real jellyfish, real barracudas and yes, real sharks. Both were protected by some of the top shark wranglers, but that was little comfort as sharks swam within inches of them.

Chris Kentis is the real star of Open Water. His direction is fresh and inventive. His script is spare and darkly humorous, my favorite line “I wanted to go skiing!” The amount of suspense Kentis and company wring from this seemingly limited idea is amazing. A nearly perfect blend of direction, method acting (sort of, if you think about it), and Oscar-worthy editing. This is a terrific film.

Movie Review Little Black Book

Little Black Book (2004) 

Directed by Nick Hurran

Written by Melissa Carter, Elisa Bell 

Starring Brittany Murphy, Holly Hunter, Ron Livingston, Julianne Nicholson, Kathy Bates

Released August 4th, 2004 

Published August 4th, 2004 

I could go on for hours, and I probably have, about the problems with the modern romantic comedy. No genre has grown more stale, predictable and shrill as the romantic comedy. Its top stars, Julia Roberts and Sandra Bullock, have recognized it and are quickly abandoning it in favor of serious drama. So color me surprised when I sat down and watched a romantic comedy I actually liked. Little Black Book has a number of the faults of modern romantic comedies but with the lowered bar of quality with which we must judge the romantic comedy, it is a tolerably quirky love fest with a couple of solid laughs.

Brittany Murphy stars as Stacey Holt. I would call her flighty but that would be redundant since she is played by Brittany Murphy. Stacey has a dream of becoming a broadcast journalist and learning her craft at the feet of her hero, Diane Sawyer. Of course, you have to start somewhere and Stacey's start in the biz is as an assistant on a cheesy talk show called "Kippy Kann Do.” Kathy Bates is the aloof host Kippy. Holly Hunter is Barb, another assistant on the show that shows Stacey the ropes and becomes her friend.

Stacey's private life is further along than her career. She is involved in what she thinks is a long-term relationship with a sports agent named Derek (Ron Livingston). The two are kind of living together though Stacey still occasionally goes home to her mother (Sharon Lawrence). Mom and daughter both share an obsession with Carly Simon whose music dominates the soundtrack of the film.

The film’s plot really kicks in when Derek goes on a business trip and leaves behind his Palm pilot. With encouragement from Barb, Stacey decides to go through the Palm pilot and find out about Derek's past. Derek doesn't like to talk about his past, perhaps because his Palm is full of old photos of his ex's including a former supermodel, a doctor and a chef. Using her job at the TV show as cover, Stacey meets each of the exes to dig up some background info on Derek. You don't have to be a rocket scientist to see this is going to blow up in Stacey's face but you may be surprised how cleverly the whole story plays out.

Brittany Murphy can be a little hard to take. Her saccharine sweetness and obnoxious energy are traits that may always hold her back from big time stardom. In this film she reigns it in a little bit and is a little more believable, more human. Her biggest asset is being paired with the brilliant Holly Hunter whose hard-ass realism grounds the film’s many flights of fancy and fills in a few holes in the plot. Hunter is in a career renaissance after her Oscar nomination for 2003's Thirteen. Hopefully this role leads her to more starring roles.

The supporting cast is dotted with recognizable names including Kathy Bates and Ron Livingston though sadly both are badly underused. The most impressive supporting performance, aside from Holly Hunter, is that of Julianne Nicholson who plays one of Derek's ex's. Traditional romantic comedy rules state we are supposed to cheer for our heroine and hate the ex's but Nicholson's character is so engaging and sweet that not only does she win us over but Stacey as well, which leads the film to its unusual ending.

Director Nick Hurran and writer Melissa Carter have by no means reinvented the romantic comedy genre, but their script and the attention to detail improve greatly upon the usual cliches of the genre. Setting Stacey against the background of a cheesy parody of a daytime talk show, Jerry Springer-Jenny Jones style, could have been just a vehicle for bad jokes about midgets and whores, and it is, but it also provides an unusually rich background for the lead characters.

As Stacey and Barb dig deeper into Derek's past there are constantly things going on in the background, throwaway visual jokes and various bits of unusual banter. It's a change from the usual myopic approach to romantic comedy environments where the only story is the lead characters' problems with absolutely nothing else happening in the world around them. The ending of the film is its most unconventional element because there is no tidy wrap up. I don't want to give anything away but to say that it's kind of unique and very welcome.

Movie Review: City of God

City of God (2002) 

Directed by Fernando Meirelles 

Written by Fernando Meirelles 

Starring Alexandre Rodriguez, Seu Jorge 

Release Date May 18th, 2002 

Published November 22nd, 2003

At the end of 2002, while most critics were debating the historical accuracy of Scorsese's Gangs Of New York or making comic asides about Nicole Kidman's prosthetic nose in The Hours, Roger Ebert was proclaiming a little seen Brazilian gang movie the best film of the year. City of God is a brutally realistic tale of poverty, crime ,and community in a Brazilian ghetto told with an immediacy and power that most Hollywood films could only dream of.

Directed by Fernando Meirelles and shot on digital video, City Of God tells the story of youth gangs in the real Brazilian ghetto known as the City of God. In the city's existence, it has known only gang rule and violence. For Rocket (Alexandre Rodrigues), hope of getting out of the ghetto lies in choosing which gang will protect him until he can find his way out. As a teen he finds a stolen camera and finds his calling as a photographer, earning a protected place in the ghetto as the official photographer of both warring factions who don't mind being on the front page.

While the story is told from Rocket's perspective the story is really that of the colorful and dangerous ghetto and its unique violent history. In one terrific series of scenes, Rocket recounts the history of one apartment, which over the course of a decade passed from one powerful drug dealer to the next. Then there is the story of Knockout Ned (Seu Jorge). Ned tried to stay out of the war but was forced into it by drug dealers suspicious of a guy who didn't want to fight.

The greatest tragedy of the film however is the story of Benny (Phillipe Haagensen), a bright charismatic kid and protege of the violent leader Lil Ze (Firmino Da Hora). Benny had grown up with Ze as his right-hand man. As they grew older and more powerful, Benny saw that power as a way to get out. When Benny fell in love, he was finally ready to leave the city. His fate seems predictable but the performance by Haagensen is absolutely magnetic and director Meirelles has a way of staging the story that builds the tension to a point that the tragic events feel almost cathartic.

City of God is a tremendous piece of work from a director who is making his feature film debut. Until City Of God, Fernando Meirelles was a commercial director. After this impressive debut, it's likely that commercials will be an afterthought for Meirelles, who is destined for greater things.

Because of some snafu with it's release, City Of God was not eligible for the Oscars and won't be this year either. I understand that we must have rules but how can an award for artistry be so restrictive that one of it's most deserving be left out because of some minor rule? Regardless of the Oscar, we don't need an award to tell us that City Of God is a magnificent film. See it for yourself. 

Movie Review: Chasing Holden

Chasing Holden (2001) 

Directed by Malcolm Clarke

Written by Sean Kanan

Starring D.J Qualls, Rachel Blanchard

Release Date October 11th, 2001 

Published June 3rd, 2002 

I have never read "The Catcher In the Rye". When I was a kid I thought it was about Yankee's catcher Yogi Berra, because I thought it was set in the 50's and Yogi was a catcher in the 50's. I still don't know the story fully though from seeing the straight-to-video feature Chasing Holden starring DJ Qualls I now have a good sense for the story and I may check it out. Maybe, if I find the time.

Holden is the story of Neil (Qualls), the son of the Governor of New York. Neil has just been released from a mental hospital after his father suspected he was contemplating suicide. Neil is troubled by his father’s distance that is covered by his father’s high-profile job but has more to do with a brother we never see.

Neil is enrolled at a private school where he meets the equally messed up T.J (Rachel Blanchard). They bond over Neil's dog-eared copy of “Catcher in the Rye” and their coupling in drama class. After following her home and having dinner with her parents, Neil is convinced she is a kindred spirit and invites her on his spiritual journey to meet the author of “Catcher in The Rye”, JD Salinger.

As Neil hides his past from TJ, she too has a secret health problem that she doesn't want to reveal in fear of scaring him off. As the journey goes on we begin to see that Neil's obsession with Salinger may not be a healthy one. An obsession that is well documented in a rather creepy scene where Neil explains to TJ why Mark Chapman killed John Lennon and how Chapman's motivation was linked to Salinger's book.



Qualls is a very unlikely romantic lead, but then with his gawky frame and goofy manner he is an unlikely actor. In Chasing Holden, Qualls's strange look works, giving the character an edginess that is unsettling from beginning to end. Blanchard on the other and isn't as successful. Her TJ isn't quirky enough to match Qualls's weirdness and her character's motivations are a little thin. In the end she seems more like a plot device in service of Qualls' Neil and his journey, rather than being a character in her own right.

Director Malcolm Clarke gives the feeling of a director still feeling his way around a camera. He has an idea of what he wants to do with each shot but isn't entirely sure how to make it work. In the end, Clarke's Chasing Holden is an interesting film. A little dull at times, but saved moderately by Qualls’ interesting performance.

Movie Review: Catwoman

Catwoman (2004) 

Directed by Pitof 

Written by John Brancato, Roger Ferris, John Rogers 

Starring Halle Berry, Sharon Stone, Frances Conroy, Benjamin Bratt 

Release Date July 23rd, 2004 

Published July 23rd, 2004 

I don’t know what your opinion is, but for my money Michele Pfeiffer’s Catwoman in Batman Returns rocked. She was sexy, she was funny, and she and Michael Keaton’s Batman had a fiery chemistry. If ever there was a chance for Catwoman to be made into a stand-alone film character, it was with Pfeiffer and director Tim Burton about 12 years ago.

Of course, timing and good buzz do not mean much to dunderheaded studio execs whose arrogance tells them they can sell anything at any time. That arrogance is what gives us this new Catwoman movie without Pfeiffer and Burton and without any connection to Batman. Halle Berry and someone called Pitof are behind this Catwoman and while Berry fits the costume that is about all that fits in this lame repackaged comic book misfire.

Patience Phillips (Berry) is a mousy wannabe artist who works in advertising because she’s too scared to be a real artist. While working on a big project for a new cosmetics line, Patience comes across a chilling secret; the company’s newest product is an addictive face-destroying disaster. Before she can do anything about it she is found by the evil cosmetic company henchman and killed.

Yes indeed, Patience died, but is reborn when a gaggle of Cat’s discovers her body and one special cat delivers some kitty CPR. The strange cat called Midnight is owned by an even stranger woman, a crazy cat lady played by Six Feet Under star Frances Conroy. The crazy cat lady explains how Patience was brought back to life as a Catwoman and that she will now have all sorts of new powers and odd cravings.

Before Patience became Catwoman she met a guy, a cop named Tom Lone (Benjamin Bratt). Tom happens to be the cop on the case when Catwoman is accused of robbing a jewelry store and eventually multiple homicides. The idea that Tom doesn’t recognize Patience is Catwoman is suspension of disbelief stretched to its breaking point. Catwoman must prove her innocence and stop the evil cosmetics company led by Laurel Hedare (Sharon Stone). If your thinking catfight, well duh.

Here is the amazing thing. Most, if not all of this mindblowingly-ridiculous plot is played straight. Anyone with half a brain could sense the camp potential of this material. Anyone that is, except for director Pitof who thinks he’s making a straight action movie. Pitof also convinced his star Halle Berry to play this material with a straight face which sinks any chance she had of succeeding in this role.

Halle’s Patience is a female Steve Urkel who, when she becomes Catwoman, is never believable. Delivering awful cat puns and mimicking cat behaviors, Berry comes off as something akin to a furry, minus the proper furry costume. She's got the cat cosplay down but any trace of anti-hero turned superhero is distinctly lacking. Part of the joy of Catwoman is her villainous side that softens ever so slightly via the tempting attraction to Batman. Since there is no Batman in this universe, Catwoman is forced to rely entirely on a badly contrived plot and the aforementioned and awful cat puns. 

There is the romance aspect, yeesh! Halle Berry and Benjamin Bratt spark the chemistry of two good friends or perhaps cousins who are a bit too close for comfort. But they never connect as potential bedmates. Benjamin Bratt has never been this bland on screen even on TV's Law & Order which didn't require much personality to begin with. Bratt is almost catatonic in Catwoman, his expressions rarely change. It doesn’t help that he’s saddled with a detective character more clueless than Clouseau.

The only member of the cast with any awareness of the camp material they’ve been given is Frances Conroy who tosses her dignity to the wind as the crazy cat lady. Conroy has to deliver the films most laughable dialogue as she explains what a Catwoman is and how it came to be. She deserves some kind of award for delivering her monologue with a straight face, though it likely took a few takes.

Pitof a former visual effects supervisor on films like Alien Resurrection and Luc Besson’s Joan Of Arc flick Messenger, he learned a little on those films as he does show some visual flare. However as a novice director he also has an unhealthy obsession with closeups and flashy unnecessary camera movement. The guy has some talent and with time he could round into a pretty good director but he is very raw and much too raw for such a high-profile project.

Though his background is reportedly in special effects, director Pitof comes off like an amateur when it comes to CGI. The Computer Generated Images in Catwoman are absolutely abysmal. Part of the problem could be that many of us have recently seen great CGI work in Spider-Man 2 and or I, Robot, two tremendously accomplished special effects spectaculars. But, the real problem is the seeming lack of care and ability behind the CGI in Catwoman. Just look at the way Halle Berry's Catwoman glistens when she becomes a special effect. She becomes shiny and rubbery and obviously not a person. She could be a character in a Pixar movie, that's how damningly obvious the special effects of Catwoman are, it's as if a Toy Story character emerged in real life but remained animated. 

The problem with Catwoman is the fact that it was made at all. There was a clamor for a female Superhero franchise but not this one. Wonder Woman has been gestating for awhile with a number of actresses and directors attached and unattached at various times. Catwoman had its moment in time back in the nineties on the heels of the success of Batman but that time has passed,

This Catwoman was doomed from the moment it was greenlighted. Doomed by executive overkill, businessmen whose only concern is printing money off of well-known properties. They put this film on the fast track, rushed the production, went cheap on a young, inexperienced director and maybe thought casting one of Hollywood’s hottest actresses would guarantee box office even if the quality film wasn’t there.

They were wrong. Very, Very Wrong!

Movie Review Buffalo Soldiers

Buffalo Soldiers (2001) 

Directed by Gregor Jordan

Written by Gregor Jordan, Eric Weiss, Nora Maccoby 

Starring Joaquin Phoenix, Ed Harris, Scott Glenn, Anna Paquin 

Release Date July 18th, 2003 

Published November 11th, 2003 

We have been waiting for quite awhile now for film adaptation of Robert O'Connor's caustic military novel Buffalo Soldiers. The film version is one of the last films delayed by the tragedy of September 11th.

It gathered dust on the shelves of Miramax because of its decidedly unpatriotic look at military life. The soldiers of Buffalo Soldiers are not the patriotic stick figures trotted out for numerous war movies dating back through all of Hollywood history. These soldiers are drug dealers, murderers, racists and pimps. So it's not surprising that after September 11th and subsequent wars in Afghanistan and Iraq that the film stirred enough controversy to be dumped into limited release and essentially disowned by it's studio.

This decidedly nihilistic look at military life on a German base in peacetime stars Joaquin Phoenix as PFC. Ray Elwood. From his smirking demeanor, he looks like any other acerbic rebel of a number of different military movies. However, on closer inspection, Ray Elwood is no one liner spouting caricature but rather an amoral drug-dealing, wheeler dealer with few if any redeeming qualities. Bill Murray-lovable loser type this is not. 

Ray runs the military base from the office of Colonel Berman (Ed Harris). As Berman's assistant, Ray can requisition any and all material goods and what he can't get he can trade for on the black market. Ray is also the best drug cook in the military, a skill that landed him in the military when a judge offered him the choice of the army or jail. Ray acquires and prepares heroin for the base's top drug dealer, a military police officer played by Sheik Mahmoud Bey.

Elwood's operation is thrown into jeopardy when a new top Sergeant (Scott Glenn) decides to put Elwood out of business. A former Vietnam veteran, the top sergeant has a reputation as a killer. This doesn't stop Elwood from pressing the Sergeant's buttons, even going as far as dating his daughter Robyn (Anna Paquin), a wild child in her own right, who introduces Elwood to ecstasy. The rivalry between Elwood and the Sergeant is the crux of the film.

From a story standpoint, it's interesting to consider what it must have been like for our military for the number of years between Vietnam and the first war in Iraq. Aside from the minor skirmish here and there, our military guys had a lot of time on their hands, and you know what they say about idle hands. Try idle hands with access to a lot of weapons and drugs.

The problem with Buffalo Soldiers however, is that it never establishes a rooting interest. Phoenix's Elwood is nearly charming enough for us to buy into his anti-hero bit. However, he just doesn't quite have the offhand charm of a good movie scoundrel. The performance is all too earnestly nihilistic to care about.

Director Gregor Jordan seems to go out of his way to separate Buffalo Soldiers from obvious genre movies. He isn't making straight drama or comedy but he seems to go out of his way, especially to avoid comedy. The film’s funniest moments come from Ed Harris playing against type as the bumbling Colonel Berman.

Imagine Stripes as envisioned by Chuck Pahlaniuk and directed by David Fincher and you get an idea what Buffalo Soldiers is going for. It's a take it or leave it portrait of questionable behavior, death, machismo, and murder. No one liners, no forced perspectives or lessons to be learned. Buffalo Soldiers is more of an interesting concept than it is a great movie.

Movie Review Buffalo 66

Buffalo 66 

Directed by Vincent Gallo 

Written by Vincent Gallo, Allison Bagnall 

Starring Vincent Gallo, Christina Ricci, Ben Gazzara, Mickey Rourke, Anjelica Huston 

Release Date June 26th, 1998 

Published August 11th, 2003 

Actor Vincent Gallo courted controversy at the 2003 Cannes Film festival with his latest film, The Brown Bunny. It was called the worst film in the festival’s history and was roundly trashed by Roger Ebert amongst others. Gallo didn't take the rebukes lightly, lashing out at journalists at the film’s press conference and later chastising Ebert and calling him a fat pig. This is not the intelligent discourse one attributes to a great artist. Despite Gallo's horrible attitude and childish behavior at Cannes, he is undeniably an artist, as he showed with his most famous directorial outing, 1997's fresh oddball love story Buffalo 66.

The Buffalo of the title is Buffalo New York where our pseudo hero Billy Brown (Gallo) was born and raised until he went to prison. As we meet him Billy is leaving prison and headed home to Buffalo. Poor Billy desperately needs to use the restroom after his long bus ride, but finds every bathroom either out of service or locked until finally he wanders into a dance studio. Even then, an odd encounter with a male student causes Billy the inability to go. Instead, he uses a payphone to call his mother to tell her he's coming home.

Billy never told his parents he went to jail, his Byzantine excuse for his disappearance includes working for the government and a fictional wife. Desperate to appease his mother Billy decides to kidnap Layla (Christina Ricci), a dance student who just happened to overhear Billy's conversation with his mother. The abduction isn't very violent or frightening for Layla who seems to take this odd occurrence and even Billy's raging hostility in stride.

Once arriving at Billy's home, Layla is told that her new name is Wendy and that her only job is to make him look good to his parents, a task she takes to with relish.

Billy's parents Jan (Angelica Huston) and Jimmy (Ben Gazzara) are quite the odd couple. Mom is an obsessive Bills football fan whose photo albums contain only photos of Bills players and the one picture of her son is difficult to find. Billy's Dad is a former lounge singer who even serenades Layla in a strange almost dreamlike sequence. Angelica Huston has the film’s most telling and dramatic moment when she off handedly explains the film’s title.

Layla/Wendy does everything she can to make Billy look good to Mom and Dad, telling them about Billy's job with the CIA and his covert activities in the spy world. It isn't until she tells them that she’s pregnant that she gets their attention away from the Bills game.

While at the parent’s house, Billy calls his best friend Goon (Kevin Corrigan) and we learn the details of how Billy went to jail and his plans now that he is out. Billy it seems lost a great deal of money on the Bills Super Bowl loss to the Giants. He paid his debt to his bookie (played in a small cameo by Mickey Rourke) by confessing to a crime committed by one of the bookie's associates. Now that he's out Billy is going to get revenge, not on the bookie but on the Bills kicker who missed the game winning field goal.

That may seem like an actual plot but Buffalo 66 never settles into a conventional narrative. Instead, Gallo, who also wrote and directed the film, prefers to simply observe his characters and their reactions to the strange circumstances surrounding them. He employs a unique visual style, very gritty at times then straying into dream sequences that include musical interludes and a tap dance by Ricci. These flights of visual and narrative fancy are a welcome change from the downer story. Not that it's a bad story, it's very unique.

It is Ricci who carries much of the film with her sympathetic eyes and endearing sweetness, not to mention a weird quality that makes her character’s willingness to stick with Billy and even fall in love with seem perfectly natural. Characters thrust into the situation her character is in are supposed to be frightened and attempting to escape and other very correct and conventional reactions. Then again, there is nothing conventional about Buffalo 66

Movie Review: Bubba Ho-Tep

Bubba Ho-Tep (2002) 

Directed by Don Coscarelli 

Written by Don Coscarelli 

Starring Bruce Campbell, Ossie Davis

Release Date June 9th, 2002 

Published April 20th, 2004

Bruce Campbell made his name with arguably the best B-movie horror films series in history, Evil Dead. Army Of Darkness cemented his legend but since that film’s 1993 release, Campbell has not been able to rise to that level of genius.

Until now that is.

With the release of Bubba Ho-tep (it was released in late 2002 and just reached my small hole in the universe in April 2004), Campbell has recaptured that vibe that made Ash a legend. Playing an aged King of Rock N Roll fighting a mummy, Campbell reaches a level that flies well past camp and into a realm that only a Bruce Campbell B-movie could reach.

Just before Elvis Presley was found dead in his Graceland mansion, the real Elvis visited a man that was believed to be the best Elvis impersonator in the world. His name is Sebastian Haff and the deal he made was to become Elvis, allowing the real King to go into hiding, pretending to be an Elvis impersonator. Part of the deal the two men made was that Elvis could switch back whenever he wanted. Before he could though, Sebastian Haff died and the real Elvis fell off a stage during a performance and landed himself in a Texas old folk’s home where he's been laid up for more than 20 years.

Elvis fell into a drab, depressing routine of watching roommates pass away and unexciting sponge baths from the bitchy nursing staff. All the while lamenting the loss of his fame and fortune. Elvis's only friend and the only man who believes he really is Elvis is a man who is convinced that he himself is John F. Kennedy. This despite being a black man (Ossie Davis plays the unusual role). According to Jack, they dyed him after they shot him.

It is Jack that first becomes aware of a peculiar series of deaths in the home. Peculiar because they are precipitated by the appearance a huge cockroach-looking thing and electrical surges. Soon the two friends discover that the real peculiar thing is that there is a mummy in a cowboy hat that is sucking the life out of old people to keep itself alive. Now these two legends must find away to save their home and themselves from a creature that Elvis dubs Bubba Ho-tep.

Just the concept alone, Elvis and JFK vs. a mummy, is brilliant enough. Then, as directed by Don Coscarelli, the man who directed Phantasm, it reaches another level of cheesy brilliance. Coscarelli only knows one way to direct a film and that is with as minimalist a palette as possible. He’s a veteran director but he can never be confused for an artist. However, it is exactly that lack of precision and skill that so perfectly captures such a strange weird movie. It is my honest opinion that in this case, it takes a bad director to make a bad movie transcend its badness into something wholly brilliant.

Campy, kooky, over the top ridiculousness abounds in Bubba Ho-tep. From the gutter mouth dialogue to the cheeseball look to a mummy in a cowboy hat, Bubba is an ingenious B-movie that returns Bruce Campbell to his so-bad-it's-good brilliance. This is a film that has to be seen to be believed. 

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