Documentary Review Mr. Death

Mr. Death (1999) 

Directed by Errol Morris 

Written by Documentary 

Starring Fred A Leuchter Jr. 

Release Date December 29th, 1999 

Published August 4th, 2003 

I used to be one of those “eye for an eye” types. A guy who was adamantly pro-death penalty. Then last year as I watched the death row in Illinois dismantled by its outgoing Governor, stories began to come out about four innocent men who were nearly put to death by electrocution. I came to the realization that if even one innocent man goes to his death at the hands of the state, then that blood is on all of our hands.

The death penalty is way too flawed a concept to be continued in this supposedly civilized country. Of course, you could never convince Fred A. Leuchter Jr. of that. Leuchter is an engineer who earned the nickname Mr. Death because of his proficiency for repairing antiquated death chambers. Leuchter is the subject of the documentary Mr. Death: The Rise and Fall of Fred A. Leuchter Jr. by Errol Morris, the man who directed the thrilling documentary Fast Cheap and Out of Control.

Mr. Death was actually supposed to be merely a chapter of Fast Cheap and Out of Control, a simple 30 minute segment on this unassuming little man responsible for the deaths of hundreds of inmates. However, once Morris began to look a little deeper into Fred Leuchter's unusual life, a new subplot emerged. A quirky profile of a death chamber repairman turned into a story about the Holocaust and one small man's desperation to be loved and accepted by anyone, even if it was a group of Neo-Nazis.

Fred Leuchter Jr. grew up in the New Jersey prison system. His father was a guard and young Fred would often join his father at work. Spending his days hanging out with guards and inmates, he learned the tricks of the criminal trade like hot wiring cars. He also had an experience not many teenagers can claim, he was strapped into the electric chair. It was a life changing moment for Leuchter, it began his unusual fascination with the implements of state sponsored death.

The documentary begins as it was likely intended to in its initial conception, a series of interviews with this strange shy little man who built lethal injection machines, and repaired electric chairs, gas chambers and even gallows. As Leuchter explains directly to the camera, he was appalled by the conditions of the electric chairs and set about using his engineering skills to develop a more efficient killing machine. 

In graphic detail, Leuchter recounts the gruesomeness of the old style electric chairs, the way they charred the flesh, set the condemned on fire, and popped their eyes out of their heads. Leuchter claims his inspiration was humanistic. He was interested in making death as comfortable as possible for the condemned, though he doesn't seem very convincing. The sense I got was that he was a guy who found a unique niche for himself and took to it quite readily.

Whatever your opinion of Leuchter and his business, he does at first seem to be a simple pragmatic businessman. He had a wife and family. His business, however macabre it is, was enough to comfortably support his family.

Then a strange thing happened in the life of Fred Leuchter. He was subpoenaed to appear in court in Canada on behalf of a man named Ernst Zundel, a historical revisionist on trial for printing a pamphlet that the Canadian government claimed was a call to violence and hatred. Zundel's revisionist history of World War II included the contention that the Holocaust never happened.

What does this have to do with Fred Leuchter? Zundel hired the expert on death chambers to determine whether the German internment camps actually had gas chambers. On Zundel's dime, Leuchter, his wife and a camera crew traveled to Auschwitz and committed what can only be described as a crime. With his wife as a lookout, Leuchter went into the chamber and began chipping away pieces of the wall and floors. His intent, to take the samples back to the U.S and have them tested for cyanide, the Nazi's poison of choice.

Fred Leuchter's "investigation" however was quite flawed. He did not bother to explain to the American lab that tested his samples what he was looking for. The tests as they were conducted could not have possibly found cyanide. As the scientist who performed the experiment explained, cyanide does not penetrate deeply into the walls; it barely registers below the surface. Because the gas chambers had been exposed to the elements for nearly 40 years, when Leuchter gathered his samples the degradation of the samples rendered the experiment useless.

These massive screw-ups did not stop Leuchter from testifying that he did not find any evidence of cyanide and it was his opinion that Auschwitz did not have a gas chamber. Despite Leuchter's "expert" testimony, Zundel was convicted. Because of his findings, called The Leuchter Report, Fred became popular amongst neo-Nazi groups who adopted him as a spokesman. Leuchter basked in the attention, the standing ovations of glad handing Nazi's who called him a genius.

When Leuchter returned to his regular life, he found that the States that had contracted with him to fix their death chambers were no longer in need of his services. His report that made him so many new friends was not surprisingly off putting to politicians who don't want to be in business with a man who calls Nazi's friends. Of course, Leuchter believes it's a Jewish conspiracy, but he says he is not anti-Semitic.

Maybe he's not truly anti-Semitic, in the documentary he does seem to come off as a little naive and slow. It is as if he believes he just did a job and why should that bother anyone? He can't imagine why anyone would find his views on the Holocaust offensive.

Errol Morris appraises his subject from a far. Unlike some filmmakers, Morris is content to remain completely off camera. He doesn't even contribute a narration, allowing his subject to narrate with his answers to off-screen questions. Morris has an interesting visual style, very crisp photography mixed with archival footage and the amateur footage that Leuchter compiled on his trip to Auschwitz.

There is nothing entertaining about Mr. Death but it is oddly fascinating. Watching this strange little man as he struggles to understand why he's not taken seriously, why he can no longer find a job, and why his wife left him. Even before his trip to Germany, he struggles to understand why people look at him funny, why people find his job so creepy and weird. He's not self-conscious, just confused.

Movie Review Raising Helen

Raising Helen (2004) 

Directed by Garry Marshall

Written by Jack Amiel, Michael Begler

Starring Kate Hudson, John Corbett, Joan Cusack, Hayden Panattiere, Spencer Breslin, Helen Mirren

Release Date May 28th, 2004

Published May 30th, 2004 

Ever since I was a kid, there was one thing that my mother and I had in common and that was a love for movies. Though our tastes are very different, occasionally my mom would surprise me. She loves Days of Heaven and Sleepless In Seattle, she loves La Dolce Vita and Grease, all of which are in her video collection. Her one abiding love however is cheeseball romantic comedies. Anything of the Hanks-Ryan canon, Julia Roberts is a goddess, but only romantic Julia, preferably teamed with Richard Gere.

I bring this up because on Mother's Day my mother joined me for one of those cheeseball romantic comedies she so dearly loves, Garry Marshall's new film Raising Helen. While I sat there in my cynical, cold-hearted shell completely unmoved by Marshall's greeting card sentimentality, my mother laughed and cried as if on cue from the film to do so. It's an example that any film critic needs to hear that certain movies play to certain audiences. That doesn't make a movie good but it should give you something to think about before launching into another cynical diatribe about the death of film. I might have walked away from this film ready to write such a review had my mom not been there.

In typical romantic comedy fashion, Helen Harris (Kate Hudson) has a fabulous job, fabulous friends and endless amounts of disposable income for her fabulous clothes and apartment. This all changes when Helen's older sister Lindsey and her husband are killed in a car crash leaving behind three children. Naturally, Helen assumes that her other sister Jenny (Joan Cusack), already a wife and mother, will take in Lindsey's kids but Lindsey has a surprise for them both. In what many would consider bad judgment, Lindsey has left the kids, Audrey, 14 (Hayden Panettiere), Henry, 10 (Spencer Breslin) and Sarah, 5 (Abigail Breslin) to Helen.

Helen's life of fashion shows and nightclubs is thrown out of whack. Soon her trendy apartment is gone in favor of a not-so-posh Brooklyn apartment. Her job working at a fashion agency for the criminally underused Helen Mirren in a throwaway role as Helen's boss, is gone because her kids destroy a fashion show. On the bright side, Helen has found the kids a good school. A Lutheran high school where the principal is the very handsome Pastor Dan (John Corbett).

From my perspective this obvious material moves slowly towards its obvious conclusions with a little humor and plenty of contrived melodrama. Sitcom level humor permeates every corner of the film that isn't taken up with “very special episode” style theatrics. However, for every cynical hard-hearted comment from me, my mom laughed and cried. Mom was under the film’s spell from moment one and remained there until the very end.

The one part of the film that we both could agree upon were the actors who at times when not being manipulated by the plot, actually are very good. Kate Hudson deserves a better vehicle for her talents than the tired romances she seems trapped in at the moment. The radiance and life force that made Almost Famous so memorable still shines through, slightly dimmed because the material is not nearly as engaging as she is.

The supporting cast is also very good. Joan Cusack may be the most reliable character actresses in all of Hollywood. John Corbett backs up his handsome face with great wit and self-deprecating manner. The film actually gets a little better in the scenes when it's only Hudson and Corbett together, these two have terrific chemistry. The child actors are…well, they are child actors and in movies like these, they are placeholders for the plot.

Ask me how I feel about Raising Helen and I'll tell you that Garry Marshall's affinity for greeting card level emotions is as grating as fingernails on a chalkboard. Raising Helen is another assembly line Hollywood film that had a poster before it had a script. However, my Mom would tell you that Raising Helen is a sweet, funny, family movie that will make you laugh and cry and walk out with a smile on your face and a little choked up. Mom would give Raising Helen 10 out of 10. I wish I could be as kind.

Movie Review Mostly Martha

Mostly Martha (2001) 

Directed by Sandra Nettelbeck 

Written by Sandra Nettelbeck 

Starring Martina Gedeck, Sergio Castillitto

Release Date August 6th, 2001

Published December 2nd, 2002 

In the late 90’s early 2000;s there was a small subgenre that some have dubbed the “food movie.” Films where the preparing of food is as or even more important than the character-driven stories surrounding them. Films like Big Night, Tortilla Soup, and Like Water For Chocolate all centered around food so beautifully prepared that the audience actually salivates. The German film Mostly Martha is a food movie but much depends on your love of German food. 

The film stars Martina Gedeck as Martha, a talented chef who lives to prepare food. Her obsessions are so strong that she is forced to see a shrink because she relates to food better than she does to people. Martha's assistant chef is leaving and is replaced by an Italian chef who does things his own way. Sergio Castellita plays Mario, and rather than following Martha's lead, he immediately begins changing things (including the menu), much to Martha's dismay. 

Complicating things further for Martha is the death of her sister which leaves Martha to care for her nine-year old niece Lina (Maxime Forest). Martha has never had a child and has not spent much time with her niece in her short life. Her only connection to the kid comes from food and making meals for the kid. With no other options, Martha is forced to bring Lina to the restaurant where Lina bonds with Mario.

Mostly Martha is a simple film in scale. It is an average romantic comedy with the conventional feel of an American film. Watching it, you can easily imagine an American version with Julia Roberts or Meg Ryan in the lead opposite Kevin Kline with a funny accent or a cast-against-type John Cusack as the Italian love interest. It is such a conventional romantic comedy that it exhibits everything I have come to hate about the genre: the predictability, the cuteness, and the obvious strain to keep the lovers apart until the end.

Not surprisingly, the only real bright spot in Mostly Martha is the food. There are some very lovely scenes of food preparation and presentation in Mostly. Credit goes to Cinematographer Michael Bertl for filming the food as if you could eat it off the screen. Director Sandra Nettleback seems to sense the film's weaknesses and tries to use the delectable food to distract from the predictable story.

Mostly Martha has been compared, by some, to the amazing Hugh Grant film About A Boy, because of the difficult relationship between Martha and her newly-adopted niece. The comparisons are entirely one note in that both movies depict difficult relationships between childish adults and wise-beyond-their-years children; however, the comparisons end there. Where About A Boy is charming and funny, Mostly Martha is predictable and forced.

Mostly Martha has its moments—all of them dealing with food. The rest of the film is pure romantic comedy washout.

Movie Review Resurrecting the Champ

Resurrecting the Champ (2007) 

Directed by Rod Lurie

Written by Allison Burnett 

Starring Samuel L. Jackson, Josh Hartnett, Kathryn Morris, Alan Alda, Rachel Nichols

Release Date August 24th, 2007

Published August 23rd, 2007 

Josh Hartnett is a young actor who I have really come to enjoy. His work is always complex and never predictable. His performances in Lucky Number Slevin, The Black Dahlia and Mozart & The Whale are three of the best performances by any actor in the last two years. Each has a different tone, a different approach and requires different skills and yet Hartnett nails each one.

For his latest film Resurrecting The Champ, Hartnett outclasses the material which takes a compelling true story and fouls it up with false subplots and an ending far too neat and tidy to be believed.

Resurrecting The Champ is loosely based on a story by L.A Times writer J.R Moehringer. The story of an old homeless man who claimed he was once a heavyweight boxing contender. His stories about Rocky Marciano and Jake LaMotta and Floyd Patterson held Moehringer in sway  for weeks but in researching this compelling fellow, Moehringer discovered a secret that changed the story from one of redemption to one of grand delusions and good intentions.

The movie Resurrecting The Champ casts Josh Hartnett in the role of Erik Kernan, a struggling boxing beat writer for a fake Denver newspaper, The Denver Times. His boss (Alan Alda) feels his writing lacks personality and buries most of his stories. Kernan's wife, Joyce, also a journalist, has kicked him out of the house for reasons that are only moderately clear.

Kernan lives in the shadow of his father, a legendary boxing announcer who abandoned him and his mother when Erik was only 6 years old. He is at the bottom of his self loathing, daddy blaming rope when he stumbles across the champ (Samuel L. Jackson). Claiming to be Bombing Bob Satterfield a one time contender for boxing's world heavyweight championship, the champ as those on the street call him, is now living next to a dumpster behind the Denver sports arena.

Sensing a heart rending sports story that could save his career, Erik implores the champ to tell him his life story and how he went from nearly fighting for the title to being homeless in Denver. His stories about breaking Rocky Marciano's nose and falling to Pretty Boy Floyd are compelling and Erik is at rapt attention. However, the champ has a secret that threatens to take both of them back down to the gutters.

Resurrecting The Champ is a project 10 years in the making. Producer Mike Medavoy bought the rights to J.R Moehringer's LA Times Magazine story not long after it was published in 1997. The film passed between a number of talents, including Morgan Freeman who was once set to play the champ. Finally, producer Bob Yari and director Rob Lurie managed to land Sam Jackson and Josh Hartnett for the leads and Medavoy's Phoenix Pictures finally gave the go ahead.

Jackson and Hartnett are terrific casting. Though Jackson has struggled recently, allowing his bad ass reputation to become something of a caricature, he redeems himself with an immersive performance as the champ. Josh Hartnett continues a series of tremendous performances with complex turns as a feckless self aggrandizer who is forced to confront the emptiness of his own life opposite the life of the champ who despite his circumstances, seems to want for nothing.

The script by Michael Bortman and Allison Burnett mirrors in many ways Stephen Ray's Shattered Glass. Both films are about journalists who find themselves overwhelmed by their own ambition. Shattered Glass is more accomplished, but Resurrecting The Champ benefits from a cast that elevates similar material. Both films are insightful about the pressures of the world of journalism through Glass again has the advantage with a cleaner, linear narrative.

Resurrecting The Champ tries a little too hard to cover a number of complex issues. As if the central story of this homeless fighter and the opportunistic journalist weren't enough, the film ladles on a backstory for each character about fathers and sons and the lengths one goes to be a good father or to avoid becoming a bad father. It's not that this fathers and sons subplot is poorly played, rather just that it distracts from the more interesting world of journalism and this dynamic relationship between the champ and the journalist.

Regardless of some aching narrative problems, including an ending that is far too easily tied up in a pretty bow, Resurrecting The Champ is a compelling character study. Watching Samuel L. Jackson return to form by becoming 'the champ', you are reminded of what a great talent Jackson is when given a good character to play.

His work in Resurrecting The Champ alongside Josh Hartnett is so good that you can't help but get caught up rooting for both characters even as they fail and reveal their flaws. The champ is something of an innocent, having spent much of his later years punch drunk from years in the ring, he is easy to sympathize with to a point.

Josh Hartnett has the more difficult character. His Erik Kernan is feckless, self loathing and a little lazy. When confronted about his writing early in the film we are told he really isn't very good. His own wife evinces only disappointment when she looks at him. Worst of all, Erik feels compelled to lie about his life to his six year old son leading to a scene with former Broncos quarterback John Elway that is painful and embarrassing in very real ways.

Hartnett's job is to somehow bring us to care about this guy and root for his redemption and he succeeds with an earnest come to Jesus series of epiphanies about his life that had me riveted. His character is, unfortunately, undermined late in the film by an ending that rushes past some of his more emotional moments, on its way to a too tidy ending, but Hartnett throughout remains a compelling presence.

Resurrecting The Champ is something of a disappointment in the end. The film aches to be deeper than it is and more complex than it needs to be. The story wraps up too quickly and too neatly. Still, Samuel L. Jackson and Josh Hartnett make a great team and they elevate the material to the point that their work together is worth the price of admission even if the movie itself does not hold up to much inspection.

Movie Review Kickin It Old Skool

Kickin' it Old Skool (2007)

Directed by Harvey Glazer

Written by Josh Siegel 

Starring Jamie Kennedy, Maria Menounos, Miguel Nunez, Vivica A Fox

Release Date April 27th, 2007

Published April 28th, 2007

Has any actor thrived more on less talent? I've asked this question every time I've seen Jamie Kennedy take the lead in another of his low budget unfunny comedies. Beginning with the offensively unfunny Malibu's Most Wanted to the dreadfully unwatchable Son of the Mask and now through his latest abomination called Kickin' It Old Skool a bizarre homage to or satire of 80's breakdance culture, I have watched in stunned disbelief as another film studio tossed more millions at this tremendously unfunny comic.

In Kickin' It Old Skool Jamie Kennedy stars as Justin, a breakdance aficionado who puts himself into a coma attempting a difficult breakdance move. 20 some years pass before Justin somehow comes out of his coma still feeling like that 12 year old kid who loved to spin on his head. With medical bills crushing his poor parents, Justin has to find a way to make some quick cash.

His lucky break comes when a trip to the mall reunites him with his former breakdancing pal Darnell (Miguel A. Nunez) who points him in the direction of a new dance contest TV show shooting at the mall. Thus Justin launches a plan to reunite his old breakdance pals, Darnell, Aki (Bobby Lee) and Hector (Aris Alvarado) and try to win the dance contest. Standing in his way is his old rival and the show's host Kip (Michael Rosenbaum). But he does find support from Kip's girlfriend Jennifer (Maria Menounos) who was Justin's childhood crush.

Kickin' It Old Skool runs on two comic tracks. On the one track is an homage to cheeseball 80's culture including a truly lame cameo from David Hasselhoff. On the other is an attempt to parody recent dance off movies like Stomp The Yard and You Got Served. Unfortunately, director Harvey Glazer lacks the talent to combine these elements into one comic focus.

It doesn't help that his star Jamie Kennedy is utterly talentless. Yes, I admit admiring his know it all performance in Scream but name another thing that Jamie Kennedy has done that he can be proud of? Hmm.....The Mask 2?

Kickin 'It Old Skool suffers from  the same comic misapprehension as so many comedies of 2007. Movies like Hot Rod and Balls of Fury and Kickin 'It Old Skool all seem to believe that if the main character does something out of the norm; that thing is automatically funny. Context be damned. In Hot Rod it's supposed to be funny that this guy is a small town stunt man. In Balls of Fury the main character plays ping pong. In Kickin' It Old Skool Jamie Kennedy and his pals breakdance.

The creators of these films simply assume we will laugh at the premise and never bother to actually write funny jokes or give the characters anything funny to do aside from falling down or listening to music more than 20 years old. If you think old school rap is hysterically funny just for existing, then Kickin' It Old Skool is the movie for you.

I would rather watch a Rob Schneider film festival than sit through one Jamie Kennedy movie. From Malibu's Most Wanted to Son of the Mask and now Kickin' It Old Skool, Kennedy continues to demonstrate a complete lack of comic chops. On the bright side, audiences are beginning to agree as his starring roles continue to do less and less at the box office. Let's keep up the good work folks. The less people who see Kickin' It Old Skool, the less chance he'll get another starring role. If we continue to work together we can end this plague. Thank you.

Movie Review Mamma Mia

Mamma Mia (2008) 

Directed by Phyllida Lloyd 

Written by Catherine Johnson 

Starring Meryl Streep, Amanda Seyfried, Stellan Skarsgard, Colin Firth, Pierce Brosnan

Release Date July 18th, 2008 

Published July 17th, 2008

I have to confess an odd affinity for the music of Abba. The safe, uncalculating earnestness of their disco pop is a pleasant little distraction on occasion. Spike Lee even managed to turn Dancing Queen into a powerful expression of the times when he used it to evoke the synthetic happiness of the late seventies in his underappreciated epic Summer of Sam.

Broadway show tuner Phyllida Lloyd captured perfectly the jaunty, uncomplicatedness of Abba's music when she brought Mamma Mia to the stage in 2005. Even the Tony's sat up and took notice. Now Lloyd has brought the superfluous fun of arguably disco's finest ambassador's (Sorry Bee Gees fans) to the big screen.

Mamma Mia stars Meryl Streep as Donna Sheridan, a former disco queen turned hotelier. Donna runs a hotel on the coast of the Adriatic that draws the bare minimum of tourists. Her most urgent project is getting the place fixed up for her daughter Sophie's wedding. Sophie has a big surprise in order for mom. While mom is welcoming guests, including her former singing pals Tonya (Christine Baranski) and Rosie (Julie Walters), Sophie is welcoming three surprise guests, each of whom is a blast from Donna's past and, more importantly, each may be Sophie's dad.

Colin Firth plays Harry with his typical British neurotic energy. Stellan Skarsgard is Bill, a globe -trotting journalist going with the free spirited flow at all times. And Pierce Brosnan is Sam, a rich guy who quickly figures out what is going on and comes to assume that he is Sophie's dad and that after all these many, many years, he is still in love with Donna.

That makes a good straight forward plot. However, Mamma Mia is far from straight. I mean straight forward. Sorry. Because the music of Abba serves as the inspiration for Mamma Mia the songs of Sweden's number one entertainment source are jammed into every corner and only some willingly adhere to the story being told.

Making things even more complicated than trying to shoehorn so much music into the movie, is the fact that the stars sing for themselves and most aren't great. Meryl Streep is good, Christine Baranski is better and Julie Walters can carry a tune but the boys are completely overmatched.

Pierce Brosnan is outright brutal as he attempts a duet with Streep. Firth and Skarsgard are equally unlistenable. They are saved, a little bit, by the massive production numbers that accompany the song and give them light and energy. A Lot of Mamma Mia is capable of skating on good intentional and the sheer willful intent to entertain.

Mamma Mia is undeniably fun and frothy. That said, if you don't love Abba you won't love this movie. It's a musical with nothing but Abba tunes. Tunes are jammed into scenes just for the fact that they are Abba tunes and regardless of whether they belong in the story. If you aren't a fan there is nothing here to appeal to you.

Jaunty and energetic in its bizarre way, Mamma Mia is a fans only entertainment that will preach well to the converted and leave the rest in the cold.

Movie Review: Are We Done Yet?

Are We Done Yet? (2007) 

Directed by Steve Carr

Written by Hank Nelken 

Starring Ice Cube, Nia Long, Phillip Bolden, Aleisha Allen, John C. McGinley 

Release Date April 4th, 2007

Published April 3rd, 2007 

2005's Are We There Yet(?) was a meanspirited, ugly attempt at 'family comedy'. Featuring crotch shots aplenty, nasty physical humor and ugly characters, Are We There Yet(?) set new lows for an already shallow genre. Yet, despite the films massive and obvious flaws there is now a sequel and since it would nearly impossible for this film to be worse than the original, Are We Done Yet? is better than its predecessor.

Oh, don't get me wrong, Are We Done Yet(?) is not a good movie, even by comparison, it's merely an improvement. If you consider compost an improvement over yard waste.

In Are We There Yet? Nick Person (Ice Cube) wanted to do a favor for a beautiful woman, Suzanne (Nia Long). Offering to drive her two demon children, Lindsey (Aleisha Allen) and Kevin (Phillip Bolden), to there fathers for the weekend, Nick endures unending abuse and bad behavior. Then again, he was only offering to help so he could get with the hot girl so; his motives weren't just about being a good Samaritan.

Cut to two years later and apparently Nick's gesture was a winner because he and Suzanne are married and the demon children are now his loving step kids. Having given up his sports collectibles shop, Nick has gone into the publishing biz, starting his own sports magazine where he hopes an interview with Magic Johnson can get his magazine off to a splashy start. (No points for guessing Magic will figure in to the wackiness of the films ending.)

Living in Nick's cramped bachelor pad is clearly not working, no explanation is given about why they just didn't move into the beautiful home Suzanne owned in the previous film. Needing a new home, the family heads for the country where a gorgeous old fixer upper, 3 bedroom, 2 bath, home awaits. When I say fixer upper, I am understating quite a bit. Though the real estate agent, Chuck (John C. McGinley) calls it homey and rustic, the place is clearly a dump from moment one.

Nevertheless Nick and the family move and naturally, the house begins to fall apart around them. Luckily, the crook who sold them the house is also the only licensed contractor, electrician and housing inspector in the area. Soon Chuck is living with the family and sitcomic wackiness has ensued. I'll say this for Are We Done Yet(?), at least, it is far less mean spirited than its progenitor Are We There Yet(?). That film combined an awful plot with these awful characters to create an awful moviegoing experience. The children were reprehensible, even by the standards of behavior set for movie children, coming up just short of being horror film villains in this alleged family movie.  

Are We Done Yet(?) softens the child characters from potential murderers to irritating clichés. They remain only plot devices for tweaking the always on edge Nick character but; at the very least, I don't hate them as much. Yes, I said I hated them. I realize, that to hate children is pretty extreme but if you were forced to sit through Are We There Yet? as I was, you would have hated them to. Them, their parents, their parents parents and many others.

It would have been impossible for Are We Done Yet(?) not to improve upon Are We There Yet(?) but improvement is a relative term. If getting hit by a car is an improvement over getting hit by a Mack truck. Or if getting stabbed is an improvement on being shot, then yes, improvement is the right word here. Are We Done Yet? is still an exceedingly bad movie with a rote plot and mindless characters but I will take it over the toxic poison of the previous film.

Movie Review: Wisegirls

Wise Girls (2002 

Directed by David Anspaugh 

Written by John Meadows

Starring Mira Sorvino, Mariah Carey, Melora Waters

Release Date January 13th, 2002

Published February 12th, 2002

With all due respect to those of you with a marketing degree, there is no greater scourge in modern Hollywood than marketing. Say what you will about a film's marketing having nothing to do with the film's quality, the fact is that commercials, trailers and posters shape a viewer's point of view when seeing a film. The new-to-video Lions Gate release WiseGirls is a perfect case in point.

Everything in it's marketing would lead you to believe that Wisegirls is a comedy starring Mariah Carey, when in fact the film is a drama and Carey is merely a supporting character to Mira Sorvino's lead. I went in expecting a lame comedy and another chance to rip Mariah Carey's acting skills. Instead, I got a somewhat gripping mob drama from a female perspective that, because of it's marketing, will turn away many potential viewers.

Sorvino stars as Meg Kennedy, a former med school student who has moved to Long Island to live with her ailing grandmother and run away from her tragic past. With the help of her grandmother's caretaker. Meg finds work in an Italian restaurant that is run by the mob. At first Meg has no clue who she is working for, but her new friend Raychel (Carey) is quick to clue her in after one of their special clients accidentally shoots himself and needs Meg's medical training to save his life. 

Meg's first inclination is to quit but once she is clued into how much money she can make and how she would be able to care for her ailing grandmother, she puts aside her moral objections and keeps the job. In the meantime she and Raychel and another waitress named Kate (Melora Walters) bond and become close friends. That bond is tested after Meg witnesses her new boss murdering a man who attacked her. The authorities begin to close in on the restaurant, with particular interest in the things Meg witnessed, which include the murder and the drugs being funneled through the restaurant's kitchen.

WiseGirls is a rather surprising movie in it's first hour and twenty minutes. The film builds three very believable lead characters thanks to the strong performances of Sorvino, Waters and, I can't believe I'm saying this, Mariah Carey. Yes, its true, Mariah doesn't suck in WiseGirls. In fact, supporting character work seems to suit her. Her performance is relaxed and engaging, she makes Raychel a girl we all think we've met before.

It is Sorvino's performance that nearly pushes WiseGirls into being a good movie. Sorvino does a sensational job of earning the audiences sympathy. There's help from the script by John Meadows that allows her character to evolve in ways that are logical, if somewhat misguided. Sorvino's Meg shows the slippery slope that many of us could find ourselves on if we don't keep good company. Admit it, we all have that drug dealer friend that we only hang with in public for fear of being there when the cops bust him. The fact is that, much like six degrees of Kevin Bacon, we all have some connection to crime, organized or otherwise, and this film shows what happens when you allow those relationships to go to far.

Many reviews of this film have referred to the film's stereotypical mobster characters played by Arthur J. Nascarella and Christian Maelan amongst others. I honestly didn't think the stereotypes were as pronounced as most reviewers thought. The problem was the actors who seemed to be just going through the motions of their characters.

The biggest problem with WiseGirls is a serious one, it's ending. This film has possibly the worst ending of any film released in the last year. The ending is a total cop out and ruins any emotional crescendo that had risen into a strong cathartic moment. The ending ruined the movie for me.

That said, if you stop watching with maybe five or ten minutes left, you might walk away with a pleasant view of WiseGirls. But stay for those final moments, and you will be very disappointed.

Movie Review: Wimbledon

Wimbledon (2004) 

Directed by Richard Loncraine

Written by Adam Brooks, Jennifer Flackett, Mark Levin

Starring Paul Bettany, Kirsten Dunst, Sam Neill, Jon Favreau

Release Date September 17th, 2004

Published September 16th, 2004

With what I have written in the past about my disdain for the clichés of sports movie and of the modern romantic comedy, you could sense that a movie like Wimbledon would be a special sort of torture. Simply take the worst of both genres and combine them and ugh. However Wimbledon is the creation of Working Title Films, a company that has discovered it's own unique formula for romantic comedies that really works.

Working Title is the company that made Hugh Grant a star in Four Weddings and A Funeral and Notting Hill and delivered last year’s wonderful romantic ensemble Love Actually. It must be a British thing. There is something about Working Title's approach to romantic comedy that usually works. It works in Wimbledon albeit not as well as it has in the past.

Paul Bettany stars as over-the-hill (32-years-old) tennis star Peter Colt. Peter is playing Wimbledon for the final time in his fifteen-year career. In fact, Wimbledon will be his final tournament period, Peter is retiring to be the club pro at a posh resort. He only hopes not to embarrass himself and just maybe win one last match before he quits.

Before he steps on the court he has the pleasure of meeting a beautiful young American tennis star named Lizzie Bradbury. The two meet in a cute way when Peter accidentally gets the key to her hotel room and walks in while she is in the shower. From there, the two start bumping into each other and soon its a little romance, under the radar of course, the British press can be murder.

Complicating things further is Lizzie's overbearing father (Sam Neill) who warns Peter not to interfere with Lizzie's concentration. That is a subtle way of saying stay away from my daughter, something Peter just can't do. Peter especially can't stay away from Lizzie because after meeting her, he begins to play well and wins and wins again. Soon people are talking about him again and he has a shot at going all the way.

Naturally, since this is a romantic comedy you know that there will be some artificial roadblock thrown in front of the lovebirds to separate them until the big finish. This contrivance is usually where the Working Title formula separates itself from other romantic comedies but this time they fail a little. The contrivance is less than believable this time. It's saved only by Bettany who comes through in the film’s final reel to save the movie from the typical pitfalls of the romantic comedy.

In a role that many will recognize as one Hugh Grant turned down, Paul Bettany becomes a star in his own right. Not quite as charismatic as his Chaucer from A Knight's Tale, his Peter Colt is charismatic but subdued. He is weary and sees only dreariness in the near future. That is until he meets Lizzie who opens his eyes to an entirely new and brighter future. At first, the relationship is ambiguous as to whether we have a love match or superstition. Are Peter and Lizzie in love or do they get together because they play well after being together. Bettany plays the ambiguity well but plays the love and devotion even better as the film progresses.

For her part Kirsten Dunst does well to put over Bettany's starring role. She seems to act as a way for Bettany's character to get to the next big scene. It's as if she is a supporting character rather than a lead and that works surprisingly well. Especially well because of how poorly written Lizzie's backstory is written. She's playing her first Wimbledon and is one of the top players in the world but how old is she? Most champions of her ilk are 18 or 19, Lizzie seems older. This maybe a sticking point for tennis fans only.

I happen to love watching tennis. I have vivid memories of Boris Becker's first Wimbledon victory, of Jimmy Connors at the U.S. Open and Pete Sampras failing to win the French Open for so many years. My love of tennis makes this film so much more pleasurable because Paul Bettany is a terrific tennis player. Much praise must be given to technical advisor and former player Pat Cash for developing Bettany into a competent enough player that his scenes look believable.

The film’s final tennis match is spectacularly well realized, aside from the unnecessary commentary by tennis legends John McEnroe and Chris Evert. Bettany's play is excellent and director Richard Loncraine embellishes it with terrific camerawork and a plot device that let's us inside Peter Colt's head, a weary stream of conscience that is funny and endearing.

I must say what a pleasant surprise it is to watch a romantic comedy and a sports movie that is not absolute torture. Wimbledon may not avoid the cliches of it's combined genres but at the very least it embellishes them enough to make it interesting. Paul Bettany is the film’s real find and the element that lifts Wimbledon above it's many cliches and contrivances. This could be a star making and Hugh Grant had best start looking in his rearview mirror for Paul Bettany who could be scooping up a few of those roles that used to go right to him.

Movie Review The Hills Have Eyes 2

The Hills Have Eyes 2 (2007) 

Directed by Martin Weisz 

Written by Wes Craven, Jonathan Craven 

Starring Michael McMillian, Jacob Vargas, Flex Alexander, Jessica Stroup 

Release Date March 27th, 2007 

Published March 27th, 2007 

Wes Craven is a terrific director. His work speaks for itself, when he is behind the camera, horror, suspense, blood and guts are on near perfect display. However, when Craven puts his imprimatur on a film without taking part in the film's direction; the quality dips dramatically. In the late nineties and early in this decade; Craven seemed to put his name on any piece of garbage horror film that came his way.

Craven has stopped placing his name above other people's titles in the past few years but his behind the scenes, non-directorial work continues to suffer. His latest effort is a remake of a sequel to a remake of an original that he directed. The Hills Have Eyes 2 follows a remake of Craven's original The Hills Have Eyes. Like the 2006 remake, The Hills Have Eyes 2 suffers for Craven's work in the background rather than the foreground as director.

In 2006's The Hills Have Eyes, as well as the film it re-imagined, a family took a wrong turn in the desert and ended up victims of hill dwelling mutants. One year later, the military has moved in to look over the areas where they once dropped an atom bomb; to find whether it has become inhabitable after 50 years. What they found, unfortunately, was an underground tunnel system overrun with man-eating mutants. Whoops!

A group of new recruits, on a training mission in the desert, are supposed to be delivering supplies to the soldiers and scientists in a remote desert outpost. However, when the recruits arrive; they find the camp empty and signs that the soldiers and scientists did not leave willingly. Somewhere in the barren hills surrounding the camp there may be survivors, but more urgently, those killer mutants are waiting for more victims.

Last years The Hills Have Eyes remake benefitted from a skilled cast of a higher quality than most b-movie horror flicks. Cathleen Quinlan, Ted Levine and Aaron Sanford are strong actors with strong presence who brought strength and gravitas to a rote horror formula. Director Alexandre Aja, who I am not a great fan of, is at the very least highly skilled in his presentation of horrific gore.

The Hills Have Eyes 2 ,on the other hand, features the 5th lead from Snakes On A Plane, Flex Anderson, in the lead role, or at least as the only actor onscreen I was able to recognize. The rest of the cast is desperately in need of a scorecard. These aren't bad actors, they are merely young, inexperienced actors whose inexperience shows in nearly every scene.

Add to that, the relative inexperience of director Martin Weisz, who I'm told is a highly skilled music video director. His work on The Hills Have Eyes 2 goes to show how very different the mediums of music video and film really are. Weisz is not necessarily a bad director, but one who doesn't yet understand the medium and thus relies on his music video tricks and a good deal of rote interpretation to direct this film.

There really isn't much to enjoy about The Hills Have Eyes 2. The film is stock horror clichés combined with ugly special effects and a barren location that offers little escape from the dreary story being told. The film has no sense of humor to speak of and the young, inexperienced cast is at a loss to bring anything other than their unsteady, babies learning to walk, style of acting to these roles.

There is something sorta charming about these actors but not anything that makes me want to watch them die horrifically, or more importantly, not die horrifically, in a horror film.

It's interesting to note that there was a The Hills Have Eye Part 2 back in 1985, a sequel to the original. That sequel was so awful, and so long forgotten, that no attempt was made to remake it. That film was directed by Wes Craven, who created the original, and it may be the genesis to his current philosophy of anything for a buck.

The script for The Hills Have Eyes 2 was written by Wes Craven with his son Jonathan which goes to show that nepotism in Hollywood is alive and well. Would this movie have been made without Wes Craven's name somewhere in the credits, beyond the based upon notice? No. And, frankly, we would be better off. However, Mr. Craven's bank account would not be better off and that is apparently what really matters when it comes down to it.

The Hills Have Eyes 2 serves its purpose. Made on the cheap, the film will make money and Wes Craven will take home a tidy sum. Congrats Wes, enjoy that new wave pool. I'll let you know if I stumble across your artistic soul somewhere.

Movie Review: An American Crime

An American Crime (2007) 

Directed by Tommy O'Haver

Written by Tommy O'Haver, Irene Turner

Starring Elliott Page, Catherine Keener, Hayley McFarland, Ari Graynor, James Franco

Release Date January 19th, 2007

Published January 15th, 2007 

There is a delicate balance at play in An American Crime. At once there is a need to demonstrate the abuse heaped upon the unfortunate young woman at the story's center. On the other hand, you risk losing the audience if you dwell or linger on the girl's suffering. Writer-Director Tommy O'Haver takes a just the facts, scholarly approach that does well not to linger but in the end fails to connect emotionally beyond  the simple demonstration of human suffering.

Sylvia Likens (Elliott Page) was by all accounts a pious, devoted young woman who loved her mom and dad and little sister and never harmed a soul.  When she and her sister Jennie (Hayley McFarland) were left in the care of Gertrude Baniszewski (Catherine Keener) it was thought that they would be there just a few months while their parents made their way around the carny circuit.

Three months turned to four and five and though their parents paid Gertrude 20 dollars a month to care for their daughters, that didn't prevent Gertrude from taking out her many problems on young Sylvia. Initially, Sylvia had bonded with Gertrude's oldest daughter Paula (Ari Graynor) but when they had a falling out, the abuse began. Sylvia is blamed for all of Paula's troubles and soon finds herself the subject of inhuman abuses.

Director Tommy O'Haver presents An American Crime with an almost documentary seriousness. Managing the delicate balance of not wanting to revel in Sylvia's pain but needing to demonstrate it, O'Haver retreats often to a courtroom setting where former West Wing star Bradley Whitford is prosecuting Gertrude for Sylvia's abuse.

The court room set allows O'Haver to keep some of the abuse in description rather than having to show too much. The courtroom scenes are based on actual court records, giving authenticity to the scenes and an extra little emotional punch when you see Gertrude's young son Lester (Nick Searcy) describe not just his mother's abuse of Sylvia but also his own. Searcy's sincere, unapologetic recounting of events is chilling.

Oscar nominee Elliott Page continues to seek the anti-Juno, a role that won't remind people of her indelible, fast talking, pop spewing pregnant teen. An American Crime is certainly far from Juno. Unfortunately, it also lacks Juno's ability to connect emotionally. Page's Sylvia is really nothing more than a demonstrative device. We watch as she is abused and we connect as we would with any child being abused but nothing beyond that. An American Crime fails to deepen the tragedy by giving us a character we really bond with.

The same sense of demonstration over connection affects the performance of Catherine Keener. Like Page we witness her actions but we don't connect with them specifically. We know this is a tragic situation and that Gertrude is a bad person but what led her this way? What made Gertrude commit such a heinous crime? An American Crime is good at demonstrating the crime but doesn't venture to guess why the crime took place.

It has to be more than just Gertrude decided to destroy this beautiful young girl. Was she sick? Was she abused? Did Sylvia do something that set off the situation? There is obviously no justification for the crime that was committed but something motivated this crime and failing to ascribe some motivation to it is a dramatic failure.

Near the end of American Crime there is a device employed by director O'Haver that can fairly be called a cheat or merely O'Haver screwing with the audience. I won't go into the details because it may be a mystery to some who see it, but I was irritated by it. It comes down to a series of seemingly important scenes that turn out to be the director's way of filling time and creating false drama.

If An American Crime was so unfilmable that this device was necessary to invent and inject some drama into the movie, don't make the movie. The crime seems compelling enough to me. The device employed is an unnecessary screw job to the audience.

An American Crime is based on a true story from Indiana in the 1960's. At the time it was the single worst documented case of child abuse in American history. The prosecution of Gertrude was a national story and today would likely be the subject of endless Nancy Grace hours and CNN specials. Writer-director Tommy O'Haver connects with this story better than our drive by media likely would but not by much.

His scholarly chronicling of the crime and word for word courtroom reenactments are better suited to the documentary feature than to the dramatic movie. His approach is too distant. Without the ability to get closer to these characters we are merely left as after the fact witnesses to the demonstration of pain and suffering.

Movie Review Post Grad

Post-Grad (2009) 

Directed by Vicky Jenson

Written by Kelly Fremon

Starring Alexis Bledel, Zach Gilford, Rodrigo Santoro, Jane Lynch, Carol Burnett, Michael Keaton

Release Date August 21st, 2009

Published August 20th, 2009

The late great Gene Siskel is quoted as having asked this question about a movie: "Is this movie as interesting as watching a documentary of this same group of actors having lunch?".  It was a pass/fail standard that Mr. Siskel established for good and bad movies and applied to the new comedy Post Grad, we have a definite failure.

With a cast that includes Carol Burnett, Michael Keaton, Jane Lynch and Alexis Bledel, I would have rather watched them read reviews of their other movies than watch them play out this brutal mess of a comedy.

Post Grad ostensibly stars Alexis Bledel as a disastrously put upon college grad. As Ryden Malby, Bledel is a bright. sweet and utterly clueless gal who fails to secure a job before she graduates college. Hanging her hopes on one interview at the only company she wants to work for, Ryden not surprisingly finds herself jobless when the company hires someone more qualified than she.

Her troubles send her back to mom and dad's house. Mom and dad are played by Michael Keaton and Jane Lynch as the wacky approximations of sitcom characters. Keaton is an endlessly tinkering oddball who, in classic sitcom fashion, loves a good get rich quick scheme. They have another child, much younger than Ryden, who is even weirder and more off-putting than his bizarre parents.

And then there is grandma played by Carol Burnett. Her main character trait is waiting to die. She has an oxygen tank and at one point calls her family, including her young grandson, to a funeral parlor where she is looking to purchase a high end casket. This idea plays out in such a broad and bizarre way that sympathetic gang members and a casket on the lawn are somehow the result.

Of course, a film this mindless and idiotic has romantic complications. Ryden has a best friend played by Friday Night Lights QB Zach Gilford. Of course they are meant to be, he's in love with her for reasons only he knows, she's written as a dummy who can't see he's in love with her. Meanwhile, Ryden has a dalliance with a doofy neighbor, ten years her senior, that only exists to delay the inevitable. The neighbor has a cat and.. well... the less said about the cat the better.

Really, the less said about this movie the better. A week after audiences so foolishly passed on the terrific teen comedy Bandslam we get Post Grad, a movie with more power behind it and thus more likely to be seen. What a shame. Bandslam will likely be out of theaters by the end of this weekend while Post Grad stinks up far too many screens.

Post Grad is an idiot movie, filled with idiot characters trapped in an idiot approximation of a plot. I am begging you, if you can find Bandslam, see that movie and forget you have ever heard of Post Grad. Bandslam doesn't have long before it leaves theaters all together.

Movie Review Suspect Zero

Suspect Zero (2004) 

Directed by E Elias Merhige

Written by Zak Penn, Billy Ray 

Starring Aaron Eckhardt, Ben Kingsley, Carrie Ann Moss

Release Date August 27th, 2004

Published August 26th, 2004

“Remote viewing” is something fans of late night radio host Art Bell are very familiar with. The CIA is rumored to have used remote viewing to locate dangerous criminals until the concept was found unreliable. Remote viewing is essentially a psychic phenomenon. Viewers claim to be able to find people using only their mind, describing what they see by drawing a picture with their eyes closed.

While remote viewing has been debunked, see Penn & Teller's brilliant "Bullshit" series, it does make an interesting plot for a movie. Suspect Zero, starring Aaron Eckhart and Ben Kingsley, makes good use of it as a plot point but a weak performance from Eckhart is the film’s undoing.

Eckhardt stars as FBI agent Thomas Mackelway, recently returned to duty after a suspension. Mackelway had once been a top guy in the bustling Dallas office but now has been busted down to the relatively mundane Albuquerque office. As he's settling in to what he thinks will be a pretty dull gig he gets a big case, a murder that places the body directly on the New Mexico-Texas border.

Because the body is on the border, it is a federal investigation. The murder has the telltale signs of a serial killer. Numerous markings, a strange symbol (a zero with a line through it), and the victims eyelids have been cut off. The capper though is that, like most movie serial killers, the killer has specifically chosen Mackelway to be his opponent in a murderous game of cat and mouse.

Ah, but this film is a little more complex than other films of its genre. Our killer, Benjamin O'Ryan (Kingsley) has chosen his victims because they are serial killers. One of the victims happens to be the reason why Mackelway just got off suspension, he attacked the man and thus he got off on a technicality until O'Ryan came along and killed him. The manipulation here is pretty good; you sympathize with O'Ryan because he is killing bad guys.

O'Ryan tracks the killers through remote viewing, a skill he developed as an agent of the FBI. O'Ryan believes that Mackelway may have the gift as well. O'Ryan wants Mackelway to help him track down a killer he calls suspect zero, a killer who has killed indiscriminately across the entire country with no serial pattern. This suspect zero, O'Ryan believes, may be responsible for most of the unsolved murders in the country.

The film was directed by E. Elias Merhige, whose Shadow Of The Vampire was a quiet success back in 2000. Here his direction lacks the precision of Shadow. He falls way too in love with moving his camera, neglecting at times to secure it before moving it on a dolly, thus the camera shakes to distraction. Merhige uses way too many super tight close-ups, so close you can count nose hairs. Thankfully, toward the end of the film, Merhige's direction becomes tighter and the final 20 minutes get real good.

The most glaring problem of the film is star Aaron Eckhardt whose performance is uncertain and imprecise. It may be more the fault of Zak Penn's script for underwriting the character but clearly the character is off balance the entire film. The subplot about Mackelway possibly having the gift of remote viewing is never resolved though he spends a good deal of energy selling the pain of the migraines and visions that accompany the gift.

Also, hasn't this guy ever heard of the Internet? How is there not one computer in the entire FBI office? There is also a throwaway romantic plot with a former girlfriend and partner played by Carrie Ann Moss that just seems rote and unnecessary.

Who can blame Zak Penn for underwriting Eckhart's character when Ben Kingsley's O'Ryan is such a great part to write for? Kingsley is becoming known for strong performances in weak films, even earning an Oscar nomination for the over-hyped Sexy Beast. He's even not horrible in Thunderbirds where his righteous overacting is at least worth a few chuckles. Here he is riveting and more than believable as a man who has seen too many horrible things.

There is something so seedy and yet appealing about vigilante justice. You can't say it's okay to kill people but when O'Ryan comes upon a serial rapist, beats the hell out of him and kills him, you can't help but pause for a moment and think it's not so bad. I always love movies that test the limits of my morality, and sense of right and wrong and Suspect Zero does that.

I wish I could give Suspect Zero a full recommendation but that is impossible when the lead character just doesn't work. On the strength of Ben Kingsley's performance and the very good final reel, I can give Suspect Zero a partial recommendation.

Movie Review: Fair Game

Fair Game (2010) 

Directed by Doug Liman

Written by Jez Butterworth, Jon Butterworth

Starring Naomi Watts, Sean Penn, Noah Emmerich, Ty Burrell, Michael Kelly 

Release Date October 1st, 2010

Published October 2nd, 2010 

Is it just me or does the American left wing love remembering their failures? Whether it's Paul Greengrass in “Green Zone” relieving many of the massive intelligence failures that slipped past us during the Iraq war or Doug Liman building a lovely monument to our ignorance of the truths uncovered by Ambassador Joe Wilson in “Fair Game,” we cannot seem to get enough of reminding ourselves how powerless and ignorant we were.

The left loves mulling over it's failures and “Fair Game” is nothing short of a commemorative plaque to failure, a paean to blithe ignorance and a testament to the left's love of pointlessly re-living the past while ignoring the present and failing the future. Oh and I haven't even yet mentioned director Doug Liman who apparently must have been made quite ill by what he found in the story of Valerie Plame as his camera whips and sways about like vertigo patient off of his meds.

Valerie Plame (Naomi Watts), for those who are somehow still ignorant, was a CIA agent working on intelligence in the run up to the war with Iraq. We pick up her story in that brief respite from September 11th, the bombing of Afghanistan and the rather bizarre decision to attack Iraq. Plame was working around the globe all the while returning home on weekends for dinners with friends and nights with her former Ambassador husband, Joe Wilson (Sean Penn) and two children.

When the White House made the attention shift to Iraq Plame was among the working class analysts who looked at the data with zero agenda and offered sane sound evidence. Among the many intelligence gathering tasks Plame's group was assigned were allegations that Saddam Hussein was attempting to buy Yellow Cake Uranium from the tiny African nation of Niger, not to be confused with Nigeria; two different places.

Knowing that her husband had contacts and experience in the region from his time in the Ambassador corps; Plame recommended Joe be sent to meet with a group put together by the Vice President who then sent Wilson to Niger on a fact finding mission. That mission revealed that Niger had almost zero capability of transporting the alleged materials if indeed they ever had such things.

Meanwhile, Valerie's own intelligence gathering seemed to uncover that Iraq barely had the weapons to rub two sticks together let alone create a working nuclear program. The greatest danger in the country lay with the scientists from the long defunct nuke program whose knowledge and capability might be valuable to another more viable enemy such as neighboring Iran or even North Korea.

Valerie was on task to gather many of these scientists to bring to the US when all hell broke loose. Watching helplessly as the White House ignored and distorted evidence he had gathered, Joe Wilson took to the op-ed pages and the Sunday talk shows to reveal the lies of the Bush Administration. In retaliation a coterie of Bush henchman including Richard Armitage, Karl Rove and fall guy Scooter Libby leaked the name of Joe's wife and set off a tidal wave of lies that likely lead to more death and future instability in the Middle East.

Sounds like a wonderful narrative for the American left doesn't it? Well, it's not so much a narrative, that's what truly happened. Wilson, Plame and numerous others told us this was happening as it was happening and have since written comprehensive non-fiction accounts of it all. We simply were not listening. Now, Doug Liman offers “Fair Game” and because it is such a lazy, slipshod effort we will continue not listening.

”Fair Game” offers nothing new to the story of Valerie Plame, nothing that those already interested in her story don't already know and nothing that anyone opposed to the Plame 'version' will willingly listen to. It's great to have yet another pop cultural recording of our failure to stop the war in Iraq but like Paul Greengrass's “Green Zone,” we needed this movie five years ago.

We needed movies like “Fair Game” when John Kerry was being beaten in a must win 2004 election. We needed movies like “Fair Game” when people on our side of the argument like then Senator Hillary Clinton voted to send us to Iraq.

We knew then, even before Joe Wilson and Valerie Plame were being dragged through the mud that we were being lied to and we did little to nothing to oppose it. “Fair Game” would be worthy now if it offered some object lesson for us to learn from. This would be a worthy effort if it gave us something useful to carry forward. Instead, “Fair Game” is merely a checklist of our failures recounted with tremendous historical accuracy.

And then there is the bizarre direction of Doug Liman, one of our finest action directors (Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Bourne Supremacy, Bourne Ultimatum) who battles the straight drama of “Fair Game” with an action directors eye. Using a handheld camera, Liman acted as his own Cinematographer and attempts to give us a firsthand point of view of the events inside the Plame-Wilson household.

It’s a bold experiment except that Liman’s idea of a firsthand account is a whipsaw move of the camera from one character to the next as if we were strapped to the back of a fly on the wall. Bring your sea-sickness meds, especially for the dinner party scenes where Liman attempts to take on the perspective of every character at the table in very short order.

Late in the movie, in a quiet scene between Penn's Joe Wilson and Watt's Valerie Plame, Liman's camera can barely stay still to keep Ms. Watts in frame. Yet, in the next moment it is trained almost perfectly on Mr. Penn as if the actor, who is a fine director in his own right, demanded Mr. Liman pauses while filming him.

There is a scene between Watts and Sam Shepard who plays Valerie Plame's father where the director actually seems to have left in a frame where someone off screen bumped the camera knocking both actors almost completely out of frame. Whether this is some sort of cinema verite experiment or just plain laziness is anyone's guess.

I truly despise much of “Fair Game.” As someone who opposed the war in Iraq from day one I am tired of reliving our failure to prevent this massive screw up. It's done, millions of Iraqis are dead, hundreds of thousands of our soldiers are dead and no one, not even the beloved President Obama, can give us a reason why or voice any kind of proper outrage about it.

Joe Wilson and Valerie Plame have tired of the topic. Having moved from Washington after writing their books they are content to leave it all behind. Their approach is my approach. Unless you can show me something new, a lesson that we can pass on from this devastating, destructive, nearly decade long failure that is Iraq, I am simply not interested. “Fair Game” is irrelevance in film form.

Movie Review: Firewall

Firewall (2006) 

Directed by Richard Loncraine

Written by Joe Forte

Starring Harrison Ford, Paul Bettany, Virginia Madsen, Mary Lyn Rajskub, Robert Patrick, Robert Forster, Alan Arkin

Release Date February 10th, 2006 

Published February 9th, 2006 

It's been a tough millenium for Harrison Ford. Since the year 2000 the man who was once our number one action star has had one hit movie, 2000's What Lies Beneath. Ford has worked sparingly since, and each of his three projects has been creakier and more tired than the last. In 2002,  K-19: The Widowmaker featured Ford with an embarrassing Russian accent in a film that was otherwise entirely forgettable.

Hollywood Homicide (2004) was meant to share some of Ford's action-star status with Josh Hartnett. That slipshod effort, however, did nothing for either actor. Now comes the nadir of Ford's recent career, a techno-thriller called Firewall.

Jack Stanfield (Harrison Ford) is the top bank security officer in the field. His computer network is seemingly impenetrable. In fact, its only flaw is Jack himself. In a situation that he or someone from the bank might have predicted, a group of bank robbers lead by Bill Cox (Paul Bettany) has been watching Jack and his family. When Jack takes a late-evening meeting with Cox he has no idea that Cox's thugs have taken his family hostage.

The plan is not all that ingenious really. The bad guys threaten to kill Jack's family unless he will use his security knowledge to find the robbers a way to steal the cash. Naturally, the evil plot involves framing Jack for the theft while the bad guys sneak off to the Carribean with their cash in one of those offshore accounts that are so ubiquitous amongst movie criminals.

Firewall is merely the latest in a new genre called the techno-thriller. It's a genre that requires actors to spout techno-jargon while outwitting one another at computer terminals. What sets Firewall apart is star Harrison Ford who, at 63, could not possibly seem more out of place. The crotchety action star never for a moment seems comfortable with the techno-jargon. Only when the techno-thriller devolves into fistfights does Ford rouse slightly from his discomfort.

Criticizing Harrison Ford is not easy, especially for a fanboy like myself. The man has earned undying appreciation for being Han Solo, Indiana Jones and Jack Ryan. However with his last film, Hollywood Homicide, and now Firewall, the man once considered America's number one action hero is more than showing his age. Ford looks tired throughout Firewall and it's not just because of the character's stressful situation.

Watching the clearly bedraggled action hero vainly beat on his much younger nemeses and expect us to accept it is sad to watch. Someone needed to pull Ford aside and tell him that this role is no longer his strong suit. Ford should be seeking the kind of elder statesman roles that befit someone of his age and stature. Never one to seek awards recognition, Ford might consider chasing more challenging and more rewarding pictures. Certainly no one would begrudge one of our great heroes were he to launch an attempt at being taken seriously.

Director Richard Loncraine, who directed a British thriller called Bellman & True with a very similar plot to Firewall, brings a levelheaded professionalism to his direction. Loncraine is a veteran who knows how to build tension, but working within the constrictions of this genre and a sub-par script by Joe Forte, there is not much even a pro like Loncraine could do.

Loncraine, however, must take some of the blame for taking care of his star's vanity. It is Loncraine who allowed Ford to monopolize the film with his vain attempt at recreating past heroic glories. I would not want to be the director who has to tell Harrison Ford that he just doesn't have that action juice anymore, but someone needed to take responsibility and the director should have been the one.

It took about 15 minutes into Firewall before my eyes began rolling. Once the villains begin talking about encryption codes and servers I wanted to walk out. These computer terms became tired tropes around 1998 when Sandra Bullock ran them into the ground in the identity-theft thriller The Net. They were painfully dull once again in 2000's Swordfish with Hugh Jackman and John Travolta. And I had hoped they had passed for good after Michael Douglas' oh so lame Don't Say A Word. Sadly, Firewall rolls the clichés right back out and reminds us why they were so lame the first time.

Don't Say A Word is an even-closer cousin to Firewall, and not just because Douglas is in Ford's age bracket. Both films indulge another tiresome commonplace plot device, the all-seeing cameras. Big Brother plays a big part in Firewall as the baddies have invented all sorts of neato electronic gizmos to spy on the security expert and his family. In fact these items, along with their laptops and the leader's high-performance sports car, lead one to wonder why they need to rob a bank at all. Simply sell that high-tech equipment and there is a million bucks in your pocket right there.

Firewall is not Harrison Ford's first disaster--Random Hearts, Six Days Seven Nights and Hollywood Homicide could each qualify for that. Firewall, however, is somewhat sadder than the rest. This is the first time that Ford has looked worn out, beaten and defeated. Maybe that was the intent of the performance and, if so, it was a bad decision. Ford looks tired. He looks like a guy in need of retirement or a very long vacation and that just makes the film sad to watch.

Movie Review: The Woods

The Woods (2006)

Directed by Lucky McKee

Written by David Ross

Starring Agnes Bruckner, Patricia Clarkson, Bruce Campbell, Rachel Nichols

Release Date September 26th, 2006 

Published December 29th, 2006 

Lucky McKee's debut feature May should have made him a star director. With rave reviews from Roger Ebert, Ainitcoolnews and several other high profile outlets the film had killer buzz and somehow never made it past a couple hundred theaters. The botched release of May did no favors for McKee's follow-up a boarding school set creepfest called The Woods.

Havng been completed in 2004, the film was shelved when M. Night Shyamalan briefly considered the title The Woods for his own film which later changed to The Village. The Woods ended up temporarily without a studio home until MGM snapped it up. Then the film was lost in that company's collapse. Two years later the film is now found dumped unceremoniously on DVD and another brilliant example of talent of Lucky McKee goes unnoticed.

Agnes Bruckner (Blue Car) stars in The Woods as Heather a troubled teen who finds herself being dumped into a creepy all girls school after she nearly burned her house down. The Falburn Academy is located in the middle of a forest that has a creepy legend attached to it. It is alleged that some years ago three girls were found in that forest and taken to the school. There; the girls were suspected of being witches and were subjected to horrible taunting.

Somehow, after escaping back into the woods, the three girls turned their classmates into their co-conspirators and returned to the school late one night to murder the headmistress with an axe. Even before hearing this legend; poor Heather has seen this story play out in her dreams. Heather isn't the only one hearing voices; her bitchy rival Samantha (Rachel Nichols) and her only friend Alice (Emma Campbell) hear them as well.

All of this is somehow tied to the creepy faculty lead by headmistress Ms. Traverse (Patricia Clarkson). The headmistress pulls Heather and two other scholarship students out of class often to work privately. These private lessons often lead to inexplicable supernatural occurances all of which are somehow linked to the legend of the woods that surround the school.

The story of The Woods is rather convoluted and often misunderstood. Working from a script by David Ross, director Lucky McKee seems far more interested in his directorial toys than with telling a creepy compelling story. The difference between the Lucky McKee of May and the Lucky McKee of The Woods is this time McKee did not write the script. First time screenwriter David Ross has a good sketch of a horror movie idea but it never comes together.

This may be why McKee throws himself so much into the technique of filmmaking and ignores some story aspects. There are gaping holes in this plot and occasions when the younger actresses, Agnes Bruckner especially, seem lost. That is as much McKee's fault as Ross's

There is no denying that McKee's direction is first rate. The look he achieves for the film, with the help of cinematographer John R. Leonetti, eerily evokes the 60's and 70's work of Dario Argento and Roman Polanski. Pay close attention to the clever and creepy way McKee uses sound in The Woods. Listen to how certain effects are used, how footfalls are occasionally louder than need be, the way wind and rustling leaves so deftly mix with the film score. Sound design is an underappreciated art but in the hands of a master like Lucky McKee it certainly gets its due.

Kudos to Lucky McKee for hiring Bruce Campbell to play Heather's father. Just when you think its only a cameo, McKee brings the greatest B-movie actor alive back into the action late in the film. If only he had access to a chainsaw; I might have found fanboy nirvana.

The one actor who thrives in The Woods is Patricia Clarkson whose perfectly measured gentility never boils over into cackling villain overkill. Clarkson's headmistress is far more intriguing for being serene and eerie and that is just how Clarkson plays it. The oscar nominee brings gravitas to an otherwise B-movie cast and her presence raises the level of the actors around her.

The Woods is a rare example of how great direction can be a form of popcorn entertainment. For fans of the techniques of filmmaking a movie like The Woods is as enjoyable as any average good movie. Lucky McKee's little filmmaking touches, his use of sound, his evocative visuals, his numerous homages to genre veterans, all of these things are so clever and entertaining that I can forgive the rather mundane story he's telling.

Not nearly the masterpiece that was May, The Woods is an example of the talent and potential of Lucky McKee. He should probably stick to self generated material from now on in order to keep himself interested in all aspects of filmmaking. His storytelling in The Woods suffers mostly for lack of attention as much as not having great material to work from.

Flawed but still quite engaging, I am recommending The Woods but be sure to see May first. That way you will have a full understanding of just how talented Lucky McKee really is.

Movie Review The Grudge 2

The Grudge 2 (2006)

Directed by Takashi Shimizu

Written by Stephen Susco

Starring Arielle Kebbel, Jennifer Beats, Amber Tamblyn, Takako Fuji, Sarah Michelle Geller

Release Date October 13th, 2006

Published October 13th, 2006

Some say that Ju-On, Takashi Shimizu's 2001 horror flick is a Japanese horror classic. I've seen Ju-on and I was not that impressed. I was further unimpressed when Shimizu adapted his film for American audiences in 2004 and called it The Grudge. I missed Ju-On 2, sad for me, however I did see The Grudge 2. If the Ju-On sequel is anything like its American twin I'm sure I would have been just as unimpressed.

Sarah Michele Gellar briefly returns to the role of Karen in Grudge 2. If you recall, Karen was an American student attending school in Tokyo when she was cursed by entering a house where a brutal murder took place. Now Karen is in a mental institution because no one believes that the murder victim, now a ghost, is after her.

In Grudge 2 Karen's sister Aubrey (Amber Tamblyn) arrives to take Karen home but unfortunately she arrives just in time to witness Karen's seeming suicide. (If you are calling this a spoiler you haven't seen the film's trailer which features Karen's death). Of course, Karen's death was no suicide; something Aubrey finds out from a journalist named Eason (Edison Chen). Eason has been following the story of the murderous house and the deaths of the people associated with it and soon he has drawn Aubrey into the ghostly danger.

Meanwhile in another movie, I mean subplot, three teenagers arrive at the Grudge house on a dare and soon find themselves cursed by the house and followed by the deathly pale ghost of a dead woman and her dead son. While two of the teenagers disappear another takes the Grudge ghosts home to America with her where they begin to infect the inhabitants of a stately Chicago apartment building.

The Grudge 2 is what I like to call a 'BOO' movie. Essentially the film plods along with dull expository dialogue, then the eerie soundtrack kicks up, and the bad guy turns to the camera and says 'BOO'. Then more dull dialogue and another 'BOO'.

Director Takashi Shimizu does not know how to craft a creepy atmosphere. His use of gray offset at times by bright colors is interesting. Unfortunately, the atmosphere is the only interesting thing about The Grudge 2. The story of the movie is so convoluted and ludicrous that figuring out the plot is a lesson in futility. What is The Grudge? Is the creepy house called The Grudge? Does the house have a grudge against the people that walk inside it? Does the ghost have a grudge against the living?

I don't need the answers to all of these questions but some recognition of the confusion caused by this odd title is something it would not have killed the filmmakers to provide.

The PG-13 rating of The Grudge 2 takes most of the fun out of the scares. Blood and guts aren't absolutely necessary for a great horror film but the best of the genre certainly make good use of them. The Grudge and now Grudge 2 are pretty well bloodless and rely almost entirely on atmosphere, creepy music and 'boo' moments when something leaps out of the dark, perfectly timed to a screech in a music track.

My main point is this, if your film is so obviously devoid of scares then, at the very least you could spill a little blood, display a little carnage, show a little skin. This is the genre that toys with the senses, titillating in one moment, repulsing in the next. It's one of the things we go to a horror movie for, that push and pull of emotions, the manipulation of the fear response and the gag reflex. Without those elements a movie like The Grudge 2 is just dull.

BOO! can be scary when you aren't expecting it. When you buy a ticket for a horror movie however, you are expecting BOO!. Thus, a good horror movie needs more than BOO!. The Grudge 2 augments the BOO! with a creepy atmosphere but nothing more. That may frighten a two year old but not many two year old's will be attending The Grudge 2.

Movie Review The Goods Live Hard Sell Hard

The Goods Live Hard Sell Hard (2009) 

Directed by Neal Brennan

Written by Adam McKay, Will Ferrell, Kevin Messick, Chris Henchy

Starring Jeremy Piven, David Koechner, Kathryn Hahn, Ken Jeong, Jordan Spiro 

Release Date April 14th, 2009 

Published April 13th, 2009 

The makers of the comedy The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard, owe a deep debt, possibly even royalty payments, to John Landis who's 2004 documentary Slasher is undoubtedly the inspiration for this comedy about a group of mercenary car salesmen who stage massive sales for desperate car dealers. No mention is made in the credits or on the film's IMDB page of Slasher but I fear, honestly, litigation could be on order.

I had time to ponder this as I watched The Goods because this inconsistent comedy leaves a good deal of time for thinking about other things.

in The Goods Jeremy Piven plays Don Ready. His job, really, his life, is selling cars. With his for hire team of mercenary salesmen, Don is in a new city week after week with a new sale to run and new suckers to take advantage of. His latest job however, in the middle of nowhere town of Temecula(?) has some unexpected pitfalls.

Hired by Ben Selleck (James Brolin) to save his used car lot from bank foreclosure and taken over by his rival (Alan Thicke, in cameo), Don finds himself beginning to question his mercenary lifestyle. In the course of business Don meets and falls for Ivy (Jordan Spiro), Selleck's daughter. And then there is Blake (Jason Sadowski) , a Selleck employee who may or may not be Don's illegitimate son via a one night stand two decades earlier.

Meanwhile, Don's team are also meeting new challenges. Brent (David Koechner), the team finance guy, has to fend off the unwanted advances of Mr. Selleck. Babs (Kathryn Hahn), team eye candy, falls for Selleck's 10 year old son. Don't worry, he's a ten year old in the body of a thirtysomething and played by comic Rob Riggle. Jibby (Ving Rhames), the team's ethnic diversity, falls for a stripper and hopes to 'make love' for the first time.

Naturally, there is an enemy and he is played by Ed Helms as a rival car salesman who also happens to be engaged to Ivy and a member of a so-called 'Man band' whose claim to fame is once having opened for the group O-Town. If you think he has much hope of competing with Don Ready you probably haven't seen many movies.

The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard is yet another in a long line of comedies that tries to get past predictable plotting by being exceptionally raunchy. The formula is however kicked up a notch thanks to the casting of some of the best comic supporting players working today. The all star team of supporting players is lead by Ken Jeong (The Hangover, Role Models), Tony Hale (Arrested Development), Wendie Malick and Craig Robinson. This terrific group pull laughs like the pros that they are and they elevate the otherwise forgettable movie with their uncommon talents.

Not that the main cast isn't good. I really like Ving Rhames in a very non-typically vulnerable performance. David Koechner's performance never goes in the direction you expect it to and Kathryn Hahn more than holds her own against the veteran launchers like Koechner and Helms.

The one performance that is just a degree off is Jeremy Piven who seems adrift between being the Fonzie and the affable, likable lead. The balance is never found. Don Ready is something of a loser, so no cool to fall back on and he is never all that likable even when he is supposedly playing vulnerable and in love.

I don't know if Piven is miscast in the role but he is definitely one of the things in the movie that doesn't completely work. The other is the stilted direction of TV vet Neal Brennan. Underlining all his points, Brennan directs The Goods as if mimicking, even parodying, other raunchy comedies of recent years.

There is nothing to really set The Goods apart from other R-rated comedies. Is it funny? Yes, and for some that will be enough. Myself, I was hoping for something more. Oddly enough, that is likely the feeling of most people who buy cars from guys like Don Ready.