Movie Review: American Dreamz

American Dreamz (2006) 

Directed by Paul Weitz

Written by Paul Weitz 

Starring Hugh Grant, Dennis Quaid, Marcia Gay Harden, Mandy Moore, Willem Dafoe, Chris Klein

Release Date April 21st, 2006

Published April 20th, 2006 

When I heard that the very talented writer-director of American Pie and About A Boy, Paul Weitz, had decided to take on an ambitious satire of President George W. Bush and the vapid karaoke extravaganza American Idol, I was quite excited. Two such broad targets are, no doubt, hard to miss with hard edged satire. So how disappointed was I when, while finally watching American Dreamz, that Weitz manages to miss the target like a Buffalo Bills kicker in the Super Bowl.

Hugh Grant stars in American Dreamz as Martin Tweed a Simon Cowell clone with a nasty disposition on screen and off. A self loathing jerk, we meet Martin as he dumps his girlfriend while celebrating his shows latest spectacular ratings.

The new season of 'American Dreamz' is about to begin and a new crop of contestants are lining up. In the tiny hamlet of of Padookie, Ohio Sally Kendoo (Mandy Moore) is ready for her closeup. An ambitious, plotting, self absorbed teen, Sally celebrates her American Dreamz birth by dumping her dopey but loving boyfriend William (Chris Klein). So broken up about it William runs off to the army and is immediately sent to Iraq.

On the other side of the world Omer (Sam Galzari) is training in an Al Quaeda terrorist camp. However, he spends his evenings singing along to show tunes. He is soon sent to America to live with relatives and finds himself auditioning for American Dreamz, the producers, Tweed and flunkies played by Judi Greer and John Cho, have decided the key to ratings is diversity. They want an arab guy and they choose Omer opposite him they want a jewish guy and they get a hasidic rapper played by Adam Busch.

Running parallel to the American Dreamz story is that of President Jack Staton (Dennis Quaid). Having just narrowly won re-election, President Staton wakes up one morning and decides to read the newspaper instead of his daily briefing. He then proceeds to not leave the presidential bedroom for three solid weeks, choosing to stay in bed reading the newspaper.

To get the president back on his feet his chief of staff (Willem Dafoe in a Dick Chaney haircut) gets the president an appearance as a guest judge on American Dreamz. This places the small town witch, the Arab dreamer and the dimwit president on a collision course, unfortunately the only collision is with indifference.

American Dreamz walks up to the edge of hard satire and then runs away like a scared child. The film does not have a mean bone in it's body despite attempts to look mean. Grant's Simon Cowell may be a self loathing prick but Grant cannot turn off that natural charisma that makes even a bastard like Martin Tweed charming. He's supposed to be a Machiavellian bastard but the edges are worn off and his manipulations never take away from his likability.

Mandy Moore is supposed to be Martin's equal in terms of self involvement and angry ambition but she too cannot turn off the charms that have made her a star. Moore evinces hateful bitchiness, but in an ill-conceived romantic subplot with Grant, she turns cuddly in a dark comic way and you can't help rooting. a little, for an unearned happy ending.

The characters in American Dreamz break down into two categories, either mean or or dopey. Grant, Moore and Dafoe fall into the mean category while Golzari, Klein and Quaid are in the dopey category. In a satire with sharp edges, with a clearer perspective and point of view, this might not be such a bad thing. But in an unfocused mess like American Dreamz you are left to wonder just what are you supposed to enjoy about these characters.

Weitz aspires at once to the hard edges of Kubrick's trenchant Doctor Strangelove and Christopher Guest's gentle prodding Waiting For Guffman and Best In Show. The mix is weak kneed when it needs to be edgy, as in the too soft take on the President, and to edgy when it needs to be soft as in the American Idol satire.

The saddest thing about American Dreamz is that Weitz's approach could have worked. If he had approached the Presidential satire like Kubrick did Strangelove and the American Idol stuff like Guest took on folkies in A Mighty Wind, then American Dreamz might have mixed these two disparate subjects in a satifying way.

Instead what we have is a complete disaster of weak willed satire, dopey hateful characters and rare moments of laughter. American Dreamz is one of the most disappointing films I've seen in a very long while. The very talented Paul Weitz has many more good films in his future, let's hope he puts this one behind him quickly.

Movie Review: The Wild

The Wild (2006) 

Directed by Steve Williams

Written by Ed Decter, John J. Strauss, Mark Gibson

Starring Kiefer Sutherland, Jim Belushi, Eddie Izzard, Janeane Garofalo, William Shatner

Release Date April 14th, 2006

Published April 14th, 2006 

For people familiar with the not so amicable divorce of Jeffrey Katzenberg from Disney, the new animated film The Wild is a bit of a humorous inside joke. A joke Disney, you can be sure, is not laughing at. Katzenberg was the number 2 man at Disney, right behind Michael Eisner, in the early nineties. He is said to have been responsible for relaunching Disney's moribund animation division by championing The Lion King amongst others.

When Katzenberg was forced out and ended up founding Dreamworks with Steven Speilberg and David Geffen, he had a bit of revenge on his mind. Hence, in his time as the head of Dreamworks animation an odd pattern of copying emerged.

In Katzenberg's first post Disney animated launch Katzenberg chose Antz to lead off the new Dreamworks division. An odd choice considering Katzenberg was well aware of Disney's long in development animated film A Bugs Life, courtesy of Disney partner Pixar.

From there the pattern continued, Disney/Pixar release Finding Nemo, D'works is out soon after with Shark's Tale. And then last year Katzenberg pulled the ultimate coup when he released D'Works zoo escape adventure Madagascar ahead of Disney's long in development The Wild, a picture that was in the planning stages late in Katzenberg's own Disney run.

The Wild is Disney's first foray into computer animation without the imprimatur of the geniuses at Pixar and thanks in part to Madagascar the film not only feels like a cheap knockoff it tanked at the box office like one too. Somewhere Jeffrey Katzenberg is smiling.

Kiefer Sutherland leads the voice cast of The Wild as Samson whose massive road has made him the featured attraction at the New York City Zoo. Unfortunately, Samson's son Ryan (Greg Cipes) can't seem to get his roar going beyond a weak meow. Having spent his entire life listening to his dad's stories about fighting wildebeests in the wilds of the jungle, Ryan longs to go to the wild himself to find his roar and capture some glory of his own.

Ryan gets his chance when he spots a cargo hold being loaded on a truck that he is certain is headed for The Wild. When Samson finds his son on a truck headed for the harbor he and his pals, including Benny The Squirrel (Jim Belushi), Nigel the koala (Eddie Izzard), Bridget the giraffe (Janeane Garofalo) and Larry the snake (Richard Kind) give chase and have a grand adventure in the streets of New York before commandeering a tugboat and taking off after Ryan to the Wilds of Africa.

The stories of The Wild and Madagascar are similar but not the same. Yet it cannot be denied that the creative team at Dreamworks was well aware of Disney's competing project which was in production even before Madagascar. Nevertheless most will see The Wild as a rehash of the story from Madagascar and they are not entirely wrong.

Both stories jump off from the premise of Zoo animals escaping their cage confines and heading out to adventure in the jungle. Both feature lions as lead characters, Kiefer Sutherland taciturn and authoritative in The Wild and Ben Stiller freewheeling yet neurotic in Madagascar. Both feature giraffes as second leads with Janeane Garofalo evincing a smart sexy giraffe in The Wild to David Schwimmer's laconic dopey giraffe in Madagascar.

The main difference between the two films is the switch from Chris Rock as an ascerbic energetic zebra in Madagascar and Eddie Izzard as the wildly improvised koala in The Wild. Otherwise the films play along very similar storylines.

Try to decide whether one of these two animated flicks is better than the other is really a question of taste. Madagascar appeals to fans of broad comedy while The Wild sticks closer to a family adventure vibe with Eddie Izzard providing the occasional comic jolt with his ad libbing.

I prefer Madagascar because I just could not buy the voice of Kiefer Sutherland as Samson in The Wild. All I could hear was Jack Bauer, Sutherland's iconic TV badas, coming out of the animated mouth of a lion. When Sutherland is called on to be playful or broadly comic he comes off as stern and a little angry. His line deliveries are staccato, forced and halting, not unlike Jack Bauer's tight lipped hyper authoritative line readings on 24.

Jack Bauer simply cannot play cute and cuddly and because of that I found The Wild to be more uncomfortable than humorous.

Directed by special effects specialist Steve Spaz Williams, best know for Jim Carrey's cartoon histrionics in The Mask, The Wild has uniquely realistic look that definitely looks complicated. The hard work of the Disney animators is all up there on the screen for all to see in the couple of hundred thousand individually drawn hairs on each of the animal characters.

Complicated however, is a far cry from elegant or beautiful and like all other non-pixar computer animated films, The Wild pales in comparison to the remarkable works of art that are The Incredibles, Finding Nemo and Monsters Inc.

Even without the thievery of Madagascar I would not be recommending The Wild, a family animated adventure that is lacking in big laughs and adventure.

Movie Review Scary Movie 4

Scary Movie 4 (2006) 

Directed by David Zucker

Written by Jim Abrahams, David Zucker, Craig Mazin, Pat Proft 

Starring Anna Faris, Regina Hall, Craig Bierko, Bill Pullman, Anthony Anderson, Kevin Hart, Charlie Sheen

Release Date April 14th, 2006 

Published April 16th, 2006 

Comedy is harder than it looks. Just look at how often Hollywood fails to make audiences laugh in films designated as "Comedies". It's subjective and often intractable and what is funny to one person is not funny to someone else. Comedy in and of itself is an act of bravery.

With that said, Scary Movie 4 is funny. It's not however as consistently funny as spoof predecessors like Airplane, Hot Shots or Naked Gun. The targets are safe, the laughs are extremely broad and the potshots miss as often as they hit. At the very least it is a vast improvement over the terribly unfunny Scary Movie 3.

Anna Faris returns for a 4th time as ditzy, dimbulb heroine Cindy Campbell who has, thus far in the series, seen more humiliating moments than every Ben Stiller character combined. This time around Cindy is dealing with the loss of her husband George (Simon Rex) in a tragic stool accident, a spotty Million Dollar Baby parody involving Mike Tyson in drag.

Cindy has just accepted a job as an in-home nurse in the home of a comatose woman (poor Cloris Leachman) who's being haunted by the creepy little asian kid from The Grudge.

Next door to the coma patient's house is Tom Ryan (Craig Bierko) , a construction worker and weekend dad to two kids. Ryan is straight out of War of The Worlds and he soon discovers aliens on the attack inside of a giant Ipod. Just as Tom and Cindy's relationship is beginning they are split up, he into an ongoing WOTW parody and Cindy along with returning best pal Brenda (Regina Hall) into an ill fated parody of The Village.

This is far more plot than was contained in the last Scary Movie and while plot may be superfluous to this franchise it helps root the parodies in something and makes the jokes funnier.

Another new element to the Scary Movie franchise is a dash of social satire in the person of Leslie Neilsen as the attled President of the United States. In a somewhat darkly humorous take off of President Bush's my pet duck moment on 9/11, Neilsen's Mr. President refuses to react to the alien Ipod attack until he hears what happened to the duck in a story told by small children. And naturally where Leslie Neilsen goes so goes broad physical humor, turn your head so you miss a brief shot of Mr. Neilsen's naked ass.

The films parodied well in Scary Movie 3 include War Of The Worlds and The Grudge and a surprisingly inoffensive and humorous take on Brokeback Mountain. Not so strong however are taxes on Million Dollar Baby and The Village. The problem with The Village is that M. Night Shyamalan's first major screw up is not all that well remembered. The film never really had its cultural moment and most audiences have forgotten the fake village and its olde timey denizens. When the biggest laughs are garnered by Carmen Electra on the toilet it's a clear sign that there wasn't much to work with in a Village parody.

I nearly forgot to mention a surprisingly funny parody of Saw starring the oddball pair of Shaquille O'Neal and Dr. Phil. While jokes about Shaq's free throw shooting are about as timely as Jay Leno's monologue circa 2002, Dr. Phil's highly self-effacing performance draws some big laughs and more than a few uncomfortable truths about the doctor's methods. Both Shaq and Dr. Phil are such genial sports that the scenes get a nice jolt from their positive energy.

Avoid reading any interviews with Director David Zucker who spoils some of the fun of Scary Movie 4 with a bitter streak that becomes clearer in the film upon reflection. Zucker has nothing nice to say about any of the movies parodied in Scary Movie 4 including the multiple Oscar winning Brokeback Mountain.

His comments give a nasty edge to the parodies that do not come through in the sweetness and light performances of Anna Faris, Craig Bierko and Anthony Anderson who returns from Scary Movie 3 and enlivens the Brokeback scenes. Faris needs to branch out beyond comedy soon to break her current type casting but she continues to be the one real draw of this aging franchise. As for Bierko, simply turn a camera on this guy and he's funny. Effortlessly humorous and energetic, he actually made me, an ardent fan of Tom Cruise, laugh hard through an extended parody of Cruise's couch jumping antics on Oprah.

Hit and miss at times but a great improvement over the last outing, I am recommending Scary Movie 4 for fans of spoofs and of this franchise. Fans of Brokeback Mountain, maybe you want to save your seven bucks.

Movie Review Lucky Number Slevin

Lucky Number Slevin (2006) 

Directed by Paul McGuigan

Written by Jason Smilovic

Starring Josh Hartnett, Bruce Willis, Ben Kinglsey, Morgan Freeman, Lucy Liu

Release Date April 7th, 2007

Published November 14th, 2007

Director Paul McGuigan is a rising star amongst hipster film critics like myself. His style is witty, ironic, romantic, referential and just plain hip. Most important to his hipster fans, McGuigan's films aren't all that popular at the box office which allows us the opportunity to claim him as our own and say that the masses simply don't get it.

We love it when we can do that, anyone who's heard me talk about the unpopular horror film The Descent knows that. So, I'm sure, that element plays at least a small role in my appreciation of the hip hitman flick Lucky Number Slevin, a comic, romantic modern noir with plenty of bodies, bullets and dark humor. A combination that always warms my heart.

Slevin Kellevra (Josh Hartnett) is having a bad couple of days. After losing his job he found his apartment building condemned. Going to stay at his girlfriend's place he finds her in bed with his best friend. Now having made his way to New York to stay with his pal Nick, Slevin finds himself mistaken for Nick by a pair of mob bosses each claiming Nick owes them large sums of money.

Morgan Freeman plays the Boss, head of a predominantly African American mafia who remains at all times locked away in his penthouse behind panes of bullet proof glass. His nemesis is the rabbi (Ben Kingsley) who lives directly across the street also in a penthouse, also behind bullet proof glass. The two have lived in harmony and fear of one another since ending their partnership some twenty years earlier.

Now both mobsters have competing interests in this kid Nick who is actually Slevin. Nick/Slevin owes The Boss 93,000 dollars and the rabbi somewhere in the 30 to 32,000 dollar range. The boss however, is the only one to offer a way out of debt that doesn't involve large sums of cash. If Slevin will kill the Rabbi's son, known to everyone but the Rabbi as The Fairy (go ahead and guess why he's called The Fairy), his debt will be wiped clean.

What Slevin doesn't know is that the man really pulling the strings on these dueling debt scenarios is a world renowned hitman named Goodkat (Bruce Willis). The hitman is targeting Slevin but the reasons why are unclear to either the Boss or the Rabbi and to us in the audience until the clever twists begin.

To give away too much, as recent commercials for the DVD release of Slevin have, would be a crime. Part of the fun of Lucky Number Slevin are the ways in which director McGuigan and writer Jason Smilovic twist and turn audience expectations, distracting us one way with clever dialogue and turning us the other way with unexpected bursts of violence or even romance.

While staying at Nick's apartment, Slevin strikes up an unexpected flirtation with Nick's neighbor played by Lucy Liu. Josh Hartnett and Lucy Liu spark exceptional chemistry that is at first quite reminiscent of old school, fast talking, 1940's romantic comedy. As the relationship develops it becomes quite heated and becomes one of the more winning aspects of Lucky Number Slevin.

Josh Hartnett is becoming one of my favorite actors. I like the choices he makes as an actor. First with the offbeat romantic thriller Wicker Park, also directed by Paul McGuigan, in which he turned a typical thriller character into a curiously straight edge hero. Now with Lucky Number Slevin, Hartnett delivers another slightly offbeat performance.

Slevin is a character with a big mouth and no fear. He even has invented a little term for his inability to show fear, he calls it Ataraxia, it's fake don't bother looking it up. It means he simply has no fear whether it's facing down giant thugs or looking down the barrel of a shotgun or being told he has to kill another man. Hartnett plays this lack of fear to terrific comic effect and is aided greatly by a very witty and slightly off kilter script.

Bruce Willis is the rock of Lucky Number Slevin, always lurking in the background, occasionally filling in the holes of the plot but never revealing anything till it's necessary. Like his hitman character, Willis is efficient and expert in his performance. His description of a Kansas City Shuffle, a kind of con game, in the film's opening scene, is something Christopher Walken might have really enjoyed playing.

There are many pleasures to behold in this smart, hip and humorous hitman/mobster flick. Josh Hartnett is a star of the future and surrounded by Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, Ben Kingsley and romantically paired with Lucy Liu, Hartnett's starpower and charisma get the perfect showcase. Director Paul McGuigan, like his star, is also on the rise. With Lucky Number Slevin and Wicker Park as his first two Hollywood pictures he is stoking the fire of hipster imaginations. I for one cannot wait to see what McGuigan, the hipster's director of the moment, will do next.

Movie Review: The Benchwarmers

The Benchwarmers (2006) 

Directed by Dennis Dugan

Written by Allan Covert, Nick Swardson

Starring Jon Heder, Rob Schneider, Nick Swardson, Jon Lovitz, Craig Kilborn

Release Date April 7th, 2006

Published April 11th, 2006 

There was a bit of controversy surrounding the release of the new comedy The Benchwarmers. Many critics were upset when Sony canceled critics' screenings across the country at the last minute. Critics were upset not necessarily because they did not get to see this particular film in time for newspaper reviews, but rather because it marked the continuation of a trend of films not being screened ahead of time for critics.

What is unfortunate about this situation is that the critical anger casts The Benchwarmers as some kind of watershed moment in the history of Hollywood studios and film critics. The last thing anyone wants is to make this abomination of a film memorable in any way, let alone historic. Ugh!

The Benchwarmers stars Adam Sandler's back up band--Rob Schneider, David Spade along with a script by acolytes Allen Covert and Nick Swardson. It also stars Napoleon Dynamite's Jon Heder in a definite fire-your-agent career move.

When a couple of nerdy kids are kicked off a baseball field by bullies, Gus (Rob Schneider), Richie (David Spade) and Clark (Jon Heder) challenge the bullies to a game. Gus is a natural athlete, however Richie, a 39-year-old virgin and video store clerk and Clark, a thirty-something mama's boy who has to wear a helmet wherever he goes, are not.

The trio somehow manage to win, leading to further challenges from bully teams. A following of nerdy kids desperate to see jocks get their comeuppance from a trio of nerds develops and comes to the attention of a billionaire nerd, Mel (Jon Lovitz), who throws out an additional challenge. He will build a state-of-the-art baseball stadium and give it to whatever city's team can beat the trio, now known as the Benchwarmers.

Directed by Dennis Dugan, who has a resume only a mother could love, including both Happy Gilmore and Big Daddy, The Benchwarmers is competent in terms of being in frame and correctly lit for both indoor and outdoor shots. After that it's pretty well downhill.

I have a theory that people in general never grow up, they simply get older. Schneider, Spade and the entire Sandler crew seem, to me, to be living proof of this theory. At some point each of these men should have outgrown dick and fart jokes. However, even as each has passed the age of 40, they return to the same tired lowbrow jokes.

One could argue, why mess with success? These guys have made quite a bank load off of this brand of humor. I would argue that this cannot work forever and eventually the well for these guys will dry up and they will be left with no one to gape slack-jawed at their antics. For now, though, they are right. Despite my distaste for this brand of humor, it is successful. The Benchwarmers opened to more than 20 million at the box office.

I was going to make a joke about Schneider being cast in a role with model Molly Sims as his love interest. However, with news that in reality David Spade is dating Heather Locklear, one must forget believability--real life is even more bizarre than the movies.

What can my critical brethren take away from The Benchwarmers? Not much. Early reviews pretty well wrote themselves on this film. There are no surprises or innovations in The Benchwarmers--I could have written this negative review of the film far in advance of having seen it. The main point is the audience for The Benchwarmers would have seen the film regardless of its Rotten Tomatoes ranking--currently only 11 percent positive.

Movie Review Slither

Slither (2006) 

Directed by James Gunn

Written by James Gunn

Starring Nathan Fillion, Elizabeth Banks, Michael Rooker, Gregg Henry, Jenna Fischer

Release Date March 31st, 2006

Published March 30th, 2006 

I am in a major conflict with myself over the movie Slither. On the one hand, I laughed a lot while watching it. On the other hand, Slither is so vile and so disgusting I'm not sure that I can recommend it in good conscience. I know you believe you have a strong stomach and a love of ironic humor but Slither is so polarized in its humor and horror that many audiences will find it hard to enjoy both of those aspects at once.

In the tiny town of Wheelsy the most important time of the year is the opening of deer hunting season. The entire town seemingly shows up at one tiny little bar in the middle of town to drink beer, sing songs and plan their hunting parties for the following morning.

This year however hunting season will have a whole new meaning. Somewhere in the forest a meteorite has struck the earth and what is inside is an insidious alien being bent on consuming the entire human race. First up is the lecherous businessman Grant Grant (Michael Rooker), no typo his first and last name are Grant. In the woods after a night of drinking and preparing to cheat on his wife Starla (Elizabeth Banks), Grant stumbles across the meteorite and becomes the aliens first victim.

Grant is not dead, rather, he has become the alien delivery vessel. He carries the alien seed that will infect the entire town and eventually the world. The aliens take the form of slimy, disgusting slugs that leap into the mouths of victims turning people into flesh eating zombies.

Standing between the aliens and world domination is Wheelsy's easy going sheriff Bill Pardy (Nathan Fillion). An unassuming slacker, Pardy has remained in Wheelsy his whole life because he really had nothing better to do. He has, for years, nursed a serious crush on Starla but sadly watched as she tried only to leave Wheelsy before settling for a life of comfort with Grant.

Now the sheriff and Starla have to team together to find Grant and stop the alien invasion. They are aided by the venal Wheelsy mayor Jack McReady (Gregg Henry) and a teenage girl, Kylie (Tania Saulnier) who survives an attack by the aliens and gains the power to see their plan in full completion.

Much of Slither plays like the kind of ironic detached horror comedy that I truly love.

Minor touches like Starla and Grant's song being a super-cheeseball tune by Air Supply which we hear at the most unnerving moments are just brilliant.

The humor extends to the casting where the ultra-creepy Michael Rooker could not be more suitably cast as the sad, tragic and disgusting Grant Grant. Rooker, who played, arguably, the most terrifying screen villain in the history of the horror genre in Henry: Portrait of A Serial Killer, is unafraid to tweak his creepy persona for a few big laughs. His commitment to the character is unnerving leaving this critic with the wonderful inside joke of Rooker maybe having played Grant in a full on method performance, never breaking character.

Written and directed by James Gunn, who did an exceptional job adapting a new version of George Romero's Dawn of The Dead, Slither is one of the most stomach churning horror films in the history of the genre. That is not surprising considering Gunn's history with the ultimate purveyor of disgust in the industry, Troma films founder and filmmaker Lloyd Kaufman.

No one knows gross, not the box office kind, like Lloyd Kaufman and his influence can be felt throughout the more stomach turning moments of Slither.

The film plays like Gunn's attempt to fuse Troma style gut churning gross out with a mainstream sci fi, horror and comedy film. The attempt is brave but the results are mixed. Slither works in making its audience ill from its brand of gross out gags, eviscerated animals, oversized exploding humans and those dreadful slugs, but fails at times to keep up the energy needed to keep the audience fully engaged beyond needing pepto-bismol.

The film is very funny, with especially humorous performances by Nathan Fillion and Elizabeth Banks. Fillion's deadpan humor in the face of so much disgustingness is a real treat. Banks for her part, is funny and sexy in equal measure. Watch the scene where the hunting party searching for the now alien infested Grant find him in a field and Banks' Starla talks of marriage as a sacred unbreakable bond, very funny stuff.

There is alot to love about Slither and yet I cannot fully endorse the film. Maybe this was the film's intent all along, but I was made physically ill by the end of Slither. Do not eat before you see Slither because you may not be able to keep it down, it's that disgusting. If the filmmakers were judging the movie on how many patrons ran for the bathrooms at the end, they have a major success on their hands. However when that sickly feeling makes you forget about so much of what you enjoyed about the movie, is that really a success?

Movie Review Ice Age The Meltdown

Ice Age The Meltdown (2006) 

Directed by Carlos Saldanha

Written by Jim Hecht

Starring Ray Romano, Denis Leary, John Leguizamo, Josh Peck, Seann William Scott, Queen Latifah

Release Date March 31st 2006, 

Published March 30th, 2006 

When it comes to computer animation, if it's not Pixar it's not brilliant. The fact is -despite the success of Shrek, Shark Tale or Ice Age - no company creates computer animated films like Pixar. All others are merely pretenders feeding at the trough built by Steve Jobs and his company. Because of the empire Pixar created, movies like 2002's Ice Age were made and met with great success. Such success has bred a sequel to that pleasant if unmemorable prehistoric cartoon about ancient animal species coming together to become lifelong friends and learning to survive.

Ice Age: The Meltdown brings our friends Manny The Mammoth (Ray Romano), Sid the Sloth (John Leguizamo) and Diego the saber tooth tiger (Denis Leary) back together on the eve of the end of the Ice Age. While enjoying what they believe is a delicate spring warm up in their little valley, Manny and company discover the glaciers that surround their idyllic home are melting and soon the whole valley will be underwater.

They must lead their tribe of disparate creatures from their home to a mythical ark somewhere in the woods where they can float to safety on higher ground. Poor Manny is dealing with the sad fact that as far as he knows there are no other mammoths in the world. If he dies, his whole species dies with him. Manny however has a big surprise waiting for him.

As the group begins their trek they come across a couple of wiseacre possums (Sean William Scott and Josh Peck) who, while irritating the heck out of Diego, accidentally lead to the discovery of Ellie (Queen Latifah) a beautiful female mammoth with one unfortunate defect. After years of living with possums she has come to believe she is a possum. Manny must lead this new group to safety and along the way try and convince Ellie that she is actually a mammoth like him. He also must learn to come out of his gloomy shell if ever the effervescent free spirited Ellie is going to help him rebuild the mammoth species.

Ice Age 2 plays like a multi episode arc of a cartoon series including commercial breaks. However, instead of commercials we have Scrat the prehistoric squirrel who's sisyphean quest for the ever elusive acorn is by far the films strongest source of comedy. Scrat steals the entire movie with his little 2 and 3 minute segments during which he gains and loses his precious acorn. Scrat likely would not work in a film of his own but in small doses Scrat is minimalist brilliance. Film scholars and philosophers could muse for hours on Scrat's never ending quest for that acorn and the innumerable ways it eludes him.

The final grail-like quest in which Scrat nearly gains the ultimate acorn is a brilliant device that ties Scrat to the main characters. The rest of Ice Age: The Meltdown is pleasant but not all that memorable. The central story is sweet and good natured. The voice actors all do solid work. There is unfortunately nothing that sets Ice Age apart from any other product aimed at children.

The script by Peter Gaulke and Gerry Swallow is not all that clever or original. The gags with Scrat have their unique genius but only in small doses. The animation of Ice Age: The Meltdown is pretty standard stuff for the genre although I am told that animating as much water as is featured in the film was quite an impressive task in terms of the amount of work it took.

The animation pales in comparison to the elegant artistry of just about every film Pixar has ever produced. Trying to compare Ice Age 2 to anything Pixar is like comparing a velvet Elvis to the Mona Lisa. There is literally that much of a noticeable difference between what Pixar does and what everyone else in the computer animation genre is doing.

The bottom line on Ice Age: The Meltdown is that it is inoffensive and easy to watch. Exactly what parents are looking for on a Saturday afternoon with the kids. You won't find anything controversial or really all that memorable about Ice Age The Meltdown. Which is a good thing if you're looking for an electronic babysitter but not so good if, like me, you're looking to be moved intellectually or emotionally.

I recommend Ice Age: The Meltdown to the undiscerning audience. For those of you looking for true stimulation in kids entertainment go back to your Incredibles DVD or Finding Nemo or Toy Story, or.... well you get the point.

Movie Review: ATL

ATL (2006) 

Directed by Chris Robinson 

Written by Tina Gordon Chism

Starring Tip T.I Harris, Lauren London, Big Boi

Release Date March 31st, 2006 

Published April 2nd, 2006

Rapper Tip "T.I" Harris's rise to the top of the charts has been a long arduous journey. Harris's career is reminiscent of the career charted in the hip hop drama Hustle and Flow, sans the pimping. After several years of basement recordings and getting by on the skin of his teeth, Harris finally got his tape in the hands of people in the business and what they heard was a true diamond in the rough.

On the heels of his film debut ATL, released in theaters back in January '06, T.I's album King went straight to the top of the charts. The same could not be said for the films box office run but now that the film is hitting video stores Harris's newfound status as a true hip hop star may help the film reach a wider and more receptive audience.

In ATL T.I stars as Rashad a seventeen year old forced to raise his fourteen year old brother Ant (Evan Roth) after their parents are killed. Sure, their uncle George (Mykelti Williamson) is around but with his casual drinking and pot smoking he is not ideally suited to be either guardian or mentor. Rashad is still in school but he spends most of his time working and saving money to get Ant out of the ghetto.

Rashad's only real comfort comes on the weekends when he gathers with his pals Esquire (Jackie Long), Brooklyn (Albert Daniels) and Teddy (Jason Weaver) at the local roller rink called Cascades. There, the four friends perform choreographed skating routines to the delight of an amassed crowd. They aren't alone, the cascades is home to a number of talented teams all aiming toward a season ending skating competition.

It is at cascades that Rashad meets New (Lauren London), a beautiful girl with a secret. Rashad and New New take an instant liking to one another but when her secret life is revealed it threatens to destroy the burgeoning romance.

Combine a sprinkle of the 2005 comedy Roll Bounce with a dash of inner city coming of age drama and you get ATL. Director Chris Robinson, working from a story by Antwone Fisher, someone who knows a little something about the coming age drama having won praise for writing his own life story on film, and a script by Tina Gordon Chism, manages a few original moments here and there but for the most part delivers the rote story from script to screen as if merely transcribing words to images.

What little innovation Robinson brings to ATL comes in the film's look which is gritty with just a hint of music video flourish. The cinematography by music video vet Karsten Gopinath is experimental and lively and at the very least, more memorable than the plot of ATL.

Also strong is the film's soundtrack where star T.I Harris lays down some fierce radio friendly beats with his song "Ride With Me". Harris proves himself to be a very talented hip hop artist and not a bad skater either. However, when slowed down to reading and delivering the films forgettable dialogue Harris can barely rise over a mumbled few words. He does project a strong presence and manage some sexual chemistry with Lauren London but it is clear that Harris's true talents lie behind a microphone.

Not all that dramatic or comic, ATL relies on classic inner city cliches, drugs, guns and gangs to create its plot and that can't help but get dull and repetitive quickly. On the bright side, ATL gives its audience much visual and auditory pleasures. The actors and actresses are attractive and good natured and the music is some of the best hip hop of the year. It's no wonder why T.I's album King went straight to number one early in 2006.

ATL holds other minor pleasures, including a strong pair of performances from veteran character actors. Mykelti Williamson, best known as Forrest Gump's pal Bubba, delivers a painfully realistic portrayal of a man tasked with responsibilities beyond his capabilities. An arrested development, having spent his entire life slacking and working as a janitor, Williamson's Uncle George is not uncaring or unfeeling, just tired and disillusioned.

Keith David delivers a solid performance as a successful businessman who built his empire from nothing but has no interest in sharing his success with those on the wrong side of the tracks. As businessman John Garnett, whom Esquire turns to for help with a college recommendation, David is at first self effacing and helpful. However, when he finds his daughter interested in one of the so-called hoodlums from the roller rink, David shows Garnett's true self loathing nature in a pair of well acted scenes.

And finally there is a scene in ATL that is almost good enough to make me recommend the film. As young Ant is losing his virginity in the back of a friends car his struggles with intimacy range from comic to poignant and back in just mere moments. The scene is a rare moment of truth in an otherwise prepackaged genre picture.

ATL is far too typical to be truly compelling but it is professionally crafted with a likable if not all that remarkable cast. Not for audiences looking for anything really challenging, the draw of ATL is T.I for his big screen debut. This is something his fans will want to watch and keep in their collections next to copies of his number one album King and what I'm sure will be few more number one albums in the future.

Consider ATL a collectible for fans of a rising star in the world of hip hop.

Movie Review Stay Alive

Stay Alive (2006) 

Directed by William Brent Bell 

Written by Matthew Peterman 

Starring Samaire Armstrong, Frankie Muniz, Adam Goldberg, Sophia Bush

Release Date March 24th, 2006 

Published March 24th, 2006

The horror genre has always been cheap and exploitative. To expect anymore from it is to be constantly disappointed. Sure, you occasionally get something like Dawn of The Dead that sneak past the guards of genre expectations and surprise you with incisive wit and social commentary but those experiences are few and far between.

More often you get cheap forgettable trash like Stay Alive, a serviceable, not too irritating exercise in teenage bloodletting that while you may not remember it long after you see it you at the very least won't wretch when it comes to Cinemax or Showtime in two or three months from now.

Little known actor Jon Foster stars in Stay Alive as Hutch, a twenty something slacker whose all consuming love of videogames is tested by the death of a close friend. A death that is eerily reminiscent of that friend's virtual death in an underground video game called Stay Alive.

The game is an historic gorefest based on the legend of a woman named Elizabeth Bathory aka The Blood Countess. She is said to have murdered hundreds of servant girls in the late 1800's and bathed in their virgin blood in order to keep herself youthful. If Ms. Bathory sounds far more interesting than anything else in Stay Alive you can understand why this film is  disappointing.

Hutch comes into possession of Stay Alive at his buddies funeral where he also meets a strange girl named Abigail (Samaire Armstrong) who also knew Hutch's late friend but is vague about the connection. She joins Hutch for a tribute to their late friend. With fellow gamers from a local internet café, Swink (Frankie Muniz), October (Sophia Bush), Phin (Jimmie Simpson) and Miller (Adam Goldberg), Hutch will play Stay Alive until they can't play anymore.

Little does anyone realize that you don't just play this video game you literally have to survive it. Like the video in The Ring or the website in Fear Dot Com, anyone that comes in contact with this video game has sealed their fate and will be picked off in the order of their passing inside the game.

The concept is unoriginal and not very inspired but that is the genre we are dealing with. Modern horror has little more on its mind than the kill and often that is enough to make these films passably entertaining. What dooms Stay Alive however is another scourge of the genre, the PG 13 rating.

With movies like The Grudge and When A Stranger Calls proving there is a viable moneymaking market in PG 13 horror we are now subject to bloodless horror cliches stripped of what makes us want to watch a horror movie in the first place, blood and sex.

Stay Alive is the latest example of the neutered horror genre. With plenty of dead bodies but little gore Stay Alive becomes a dull exercise in horror sanitized for the protection of children. The appeal of the genre has always been in the dark recesses of our minds where our id hides that part of ourselves that cannot resist the animalistic urge for blood.

The horror film appeals to base instinct, to titillation, and only the most skilled of the genre, people like George Romero or David Cronenberg can combine it with subtext and smarts. Most horror films have to settle for that base appeal to the darkness and allow us to wallow in that caveman enjoyment of blood, guts and beautiful naked woman.

Stripped of that, a film like Stay Alive is simply boring. Like watching someone else play a video game and never giving you a turn. There is very little to hold your interest, especially with a concept that is so derivative and unoriginal as a killer video game.

A question for Frankie Muniz. Why are you in this movie? Muniz is not exactly a big star. His TV show Malcolm In The Middle is limping to the finish line and his Cody Banks film series is not likely to continue. However on name recognition alone he is the biggest star in this movie and yet he plays a supporting role to a guy who's biggest role to date was the gas station attendant in Terminator 3? Okay, Jon Foster has had bigger roles but he is nowhere near as well known as Muniz whose career takes a big step backward in Stay Alive.

Of all the disappointments in Stay Alive however, maybe the biggest is writer-director William Brent Bell who shows off far more talent behind the camera than the film deserves. Bell's occasional directorial flourishes make you wonder why he put so much talent in service of such a forgettable little film. Bell's writing could use a great deal of work but as a director he seems to have a good deal of talent.

Someday William Brent Bell may make a serious name for himself as a director for hire on big budget features where a strong producer like Joel Silver can help him focus on simply making the film and forget about trying to be a writer slash director. As the script for Stay Alive, co-written with fellow first timer Matthew Peterman, shows, Bell simply doesn't have the writing chops.

Stay Alive is yet another forgettable teenage slasher flick designed more as a studio ATM than as an entertaining horror film. I'm not recommending it, hell I can barely remember having seen it myself.

Movie Review Thank You For Smoking

Thank You for Smoking (2006) 

Directed by Jason Reitman

Written by Jason Reitman 

Starring Aaron Eckhart, David Koechner, Maria Bello, Sam Elliott, Katie Holmes, Rob Lowe, J.K Simmons, Robert Duvall, William H. Macy

Release Date March 17th, 2006 

Published April 20th, 2006 

Whether you call him "Yuppie Mephistopheles'', "Goebbels In Gucci" or simply "Death Merchant" you cannot say Nick Naylor (Aaron Eckhart) is not a charming assassin. In his role as lobbyist for the tobacco industry Naylor's job is to charm, cajole and if necessary deceive whomever is in front of him into seeing his industry as the underdog in an unfair and unjust war on personal freedom. Never before has anyone been more charmingly full of shit.

Adapted from a novel by Christopher Buckley, son of the unctuous conservative pundit William F. Buckley, Thank You For Smoking is an amiable and amoral look inside the life of Washington's most sinister and charming lobbyist. Like him or not Nick Naylor could convince you the sky was green while standing outside.

Thank You For Smoking directed by another prominent scion Jason Reitman son of  director Ivan Reitman (Twins, Kindergarten Cop, Ghostbusters). But do not expect anything as gentle as his father's fun loving mainstream blockbusters. Jason Reitman's talent, it would seem, is sharp satire of the most un-P.C kind.

Thank You For Smoking is shockingly not about making the tobacco industry look any more demonic than they already do. Rather it's about this character, Nick Naylor, and his insidiously powerful charms. That his charms are employed by the tobacco companies is merely part of the deep dark fun. Listening to someone convince you that a product that kills more Americans than any other product in existence, a statistic Nick prides while discussing with fellow merchants of death Polly (Maria Bello), lobbyist for the alcohol industry, and Bobby (David Koechner), lobbyist for guns, lends a black humor to Nick's charm. He knows what he's doing is wrong, that the science he misrepresents is complete B.S but being charming and winning seemingly unwinnable arguments is what pays the bills. He also happens to be really good at it.

Darker still is Nick's relationship with his son Joey (Cameron Bright). His attempts to get closer to his son, he is divorced from Joey's mother, include attending a career day at Joey's school where he essentially convinces the children that they should make up their own minds about smoking rather than listen to mom and dad, especially if mom says smoking is bad for you.

Nick takes his son on a business trip to Los Angeles where with the help of an equally amoral superagent played by Rob Lowe, he hopes to restore the cigarrette's good standing in film. Nick's hope is that he can get the cigarette into a big time blockbuster movie in the hands of real movie stars rather than the modern norm that has cigarettes mostly in the hands of villains or europeans.

Also while in Los Angeles Nick is to meet with Lorne Lutch (Sam Elliott) the original Marlboro Man who, now dying of cancer, has become a vocal anti-smoking advocate. In a scene so disarming in its honesty and dark humor, Nick essentially bribes Lutch with a suitcase full of cash and yet convinces him and us that the money is not a bribe, but a gift that it would be rude or hypocritical to complain about publicly. Nick's son is witness to this scene and yet does not lose the esteem of his father. In fact he is convinced he would like to be more like his father.

Nick's near downfall, as it is with most men, is a beautiful woman, a reporter named Heather Holloway, who has her own unique opinion off and on the record. Heather's arc is likely the weakest in the film as her triumph over Nick is too easily overcome and the comic possibilities of the relationship are not fully discovered.

Thank You For Smoking is as nihilistic in its point of view of the dangers of smoking as Nick is. The film is not about condemning smoking, the tobacco industry, or its protagonist. In that perspective it's fair to say that film is not as sharp as it could be. A precise perspective would be welcome. However as a dark hearted satirical character study the film is whip smart and very, very funny. Thank You For Smoking is a must see.

Movie Review She's the Man

She's The Man (2006) 

Directed by Andy Fickman

Written by Karen McCulloch-Lutz, Kirsten Smith

Starring Amanda Bynes, Channing Tatum, David Cross, Vinnie Jones, Emily Perkins 

Release Date March 17th, 2006

Published March 18th, 2006

Nickelodeon star Amanda Bynes has graduated to the big screen with surprising ease. Her debut feature What A Girl Wants did not exactly set the world on fire but it was an excellent showcase for Amanda Bynes' I Love Lucy meets Sandra Bullock style. Now with her latest flick, She's The Man, Amanda Bynes takes a shot at low grade Shakespeare with a high school take on 12th Night that, like What A Girl Wants, shows Bynes in the best light of her talents, combining goofy charm and physical comedy.

In She's The Man Amanda Bynes stars as Viola who is looking forward to college on a soccer scholarship until her plans are derailed when her school cancels the girls soccer program and refuses to let her try out for the boys team. With her future on the line Viola hatches the kind of wacky scheme that only takes place in the movies.

Viola's brother Sebastian (James Kirk) is a rocker who has decided to run to Europe for a summer tour with his rock band leaving his twin sister behind to cover for him. His disappearance gives Viola the opportunity for a crazy scheme.  Viola decides that she will impersonate  Sebastian at his fancy private school and attempt to make the soccer team. Once established on the team she can reveal her true self and claim her scholarship.

Naturally, complications ensue from the first moment Viola appears on campus. Most problematic for Viola is her new roommate Duke (Channing Tatum), a real hunk who she takes an immediate liking to. Unfortunately, as a guy she cannot pursue him and meanwhile, Duke has developed a crush on Olivia (Laura Ramsey) and enlists his new roommates help in trying to get her attention. This backfires when Olivia takes a shine to Sebastian/Viola.

The story is from Shakespeare's 12th Night but the comedy is straight slapstick. Bynes and company take a beating, falling down, kicking and running into one another. That this physicality is at times quite funny is because Bynes is a skilled physical comedian. She is also quite charming and though we never for a moment buy Viola as Sebastian we enjoy watching Bynes give the role all that she's got.

If the supporting cast shared Bynes' energy, She's The Man really could have been much funnier than it is. Sadly co-stars Channing Tatum and Laura Ramsey lack Bynes talent and charisma and are really just good looking models standing in for real actors. Tatum has his moments of real likability but he never gets beyond his meathead exterior. Ramsey for her part delivers a good hearted effort but seems terribly uncomfortable with the film's physical humor.

What makes She's The Man worth recommending, to less than discerning audiences, is Amanda Bynes whose wide eyed beauty and physical comedy are a winning combination. Bynes is no great dramatist but she has real comic chops and oodles of charisma and that makes up for a lot of the problems of this outlandish take on Shakespeare.

The other reason to see She's The Man is comic David Cross who makes a surprise appearance as the clueless principle of the private school. Cross shines in his gut, twistingly creepy attempts to bond with Sebastian/Viola and even weirder when he attempts to expose the fraud in his midst. Cross is just naturally funny and while teen comedy is not his usual milieu he gives it the old college try and picks up a nice paycheck along the way.

She's The Man is not a movie you are going to remember long after watching it but while it's on it is a charming, inoffensive little teen comedy that showcases the rising talents of young Amanda Bynes. This kid has a bright future ahead of her. She doesn't have the acting chops of Lindsey Lohan or the model good looks of Hillary Duff, rather Amanda Bynes succeeds on tomboy charm and the willingness to take the fall for a laugh. That kind of moxie goes a long way.

Movie Review: Failure to Launch

Failure to Launch (2006) 

Directed by Tom Dey 

Written by Matt Ember

Starring Matthew McConaughey, Sarah Jessica Parker, Terry Bradshaw, Kathy Bates, Zoey Deschanel

Release Date February 10th, 2006 

Published February 10th, 2006

To buy into the premise of the new romantic comedy Failure To Launch you have to be willing to believe that there are so many men over the age of 30 still living with their parents that a woman could start a profitable business helping parents get rid of them. I just did not buy it and, thus, I felt that Failure To Launch was a failure in making sense.

Sarah Jessica Parker stars as Paula, an expert in removing deadbeats from mom and dad's house. She is hired by the parents of Tripp (Matthew McConaughey) who, despite having a good job selling boats for a living, driving a Porsche, and having his pick of beautiful women, still lives with his mom and dad, played by Kathy Bates and Terry Bradshaw.

Paula’s method for dealing with these momma's boy losers is to pretend to be the guy's girlfriend, build their self esteem in a simulated relationship and urge the men to get out on their own if they want to keep her. Once they are out of mom and dad's place, she dumps them. If you think that sounds ludicrous and, potentially, a little cruel this movie may not be for you.

Essentially, the premise of Failure To Launch is too stupid to support the movie. Things are not helped by the film's many diversions to goofy supporting characters like Paula’s roommate, Kit, played by Zooey Deschanel. Kit drinks constantly and, for some reason, is plagued by a bird that she chooses to hunt with the help of one of Tripp’s friends, played by Justin Bartha. The film gives ample screentime to this bizarre subplot, which has nothing to do with the main romance.

Then there are the animal attacks. For some strange, inexplicable reason Failure to Launch director Tom Dey thinks it is hysterically funny to have a character repeatedly attacked by various animals. A small chipmunk, a bottlenose dolphin and a small vegetarian lizard each randomly attack Tripp in what his buddy Demo (Bradley Cooper) says is nature punishing Tripp for his unnatural lifestyle. If you find these scenes funny you are on a very different wavelength than me.

I get that romantic comedies are often absurd from conception. Pretty Woman posited the lovely Julia Roberts as a grungy L.A prostitute. While You Were Sleeping pushed Sandra Bullock as the fake wife of a coma patient and one of my recent favorites, 50 First Dates, had Drew Barrymore as a woman with a severe short-term memory loss.  That was not the absurd part--finding Adam Sandler memorable enough to fall for, that was absurd.

So I get that logic, reason. and even coherence are not the strengths of this genre. Abandoning these things for a moment to evaluate Failure To Launch on its own terms I will admit that both McConaughey and Parker strike a likable chord. They spark well together in romantic scenes and give off the air of a loving couple even as the film spins out of control.

However the film is too out of control for my taste. Again I return to Deschanel's Kit whose fight with an obnoxious mockingbird interrupts the film's romantic plot once too often. A bizarre example is a scene set in a sporting-goods store where Kit attempts to buy a shotgun and is mistaken by the store clerk (the Daily Show's Rob Corddry in an unnecessary cameo) as someone contemplating suicide. The scene goes on for three or four minutes with this misunderstanding. Why this scene exists only director Tom Dey knows for sure.

Then there is the ending which undoes much of the good work that McConaughey and Parker do by making both look nearly as foolish as the rest of the film. The film plays on one of my movie pet peeves--the argument that would be solved if the characters simply spoke to one another. Tripp and Paula's romantic trouble could be solved with one easy conversation. Instead, the film pushes them together in an elaborately comic fashion, where neither is willing to say the few words that could solve the problem.

And only in a film this absurd could this important conversation be broadcast over the internet so all of the supporting players and more than a few extras can watch and cheer along their friends. One gets the sense that moments like these would work better as parody of romantic comedies and not as a sincere romance. The comedy of Failure To Launch seems designed like another take on what The 40 Year Virgin accomplished last year. A sweet-natured examination of arrested development with broad comic intentions specifically designed for the talents of comic actors accustomed to such material.

The actors involved in Failure To Launch, aside from the oddly well-suited Terry Bradshaw, are too straight laced and earnest for this expansively comic material. Both Parker and McConaughey have cultivated screen personas that make money playing real romance, not broadly comic slapstick with a hint of romance, ala Adam Sandler or Steve Carell.

With a pair of terrific lead actors there was certainly potential for Failure To Launch. But, doomed by an absurd premise better suited to the broad comic talents , Failure To Launch is an out-of-control mess of a film, distracted by its own precious idea of what is funny.

Movie Review: Ultraviolet

Ultraviolet (2006) 

Directed by Kurt Wimmer

Written by Kurt Wimmer

Starring Milla Jovovich, Cameron Bright, William Fichtner

Release Date March 3rd, 2006

Published March 6th, 2006

After the government uses genetics to create a race of super soldiers, a blood-borne virus is created and infects the population. Turning everyday Americans into vampire hybrids, the virus is kept under control by the same government scientists who created it through any means necessary. A war between the infected and non-infected is at hand after a weapon is created that allegedly kills all vampires. Hired to obtain the weapon is an infected female assassin named Violet (Milla Jovovich). Little does Violet know that the weapon is in the form of a small child whose blood was engineered to kill vampires.

Cameron Bright plays the kid, Six, a clone of the government's top scientist and bad guy Daxus (Nick Chinlund). He wants his clone back and the vampires dead. The vampires want the kid dead and the only thing standing between the warring factions is Violet, whose protective mothering instincts kick in at the worst possible moment. William Fichtner takes on the role of Violet's only ally, Garth, a scientist and weapon-maker who also nurses a long-suffering crush on Violet. Garth believes the kid could be the key to curing the vampires.

The plot of Ultraviolet is not exactly as clear-cut as my description might make it seem. The whole vampire virus thing is muddled and confusing, as if writer-director Kurt Wimmer could not decide if a virus or vampire would make a better story. Nick Chinlund, as the bad guy of the picture, has his motivation for his evil deeds shift with the wind. That might explain why Chinlund goes all-out chewing the scenery, he can't keep the plot straight so he acts every moment to the back of the room in hopes of distracting us from the confusion with pure bombast.

Milla Jovovich is an effective lead actress. The same action heroine chops she showed in the two Resident Evil pictures serve her well here but, like those failed efforts, Ultraviolet is never good enough to deserve her hard work. Sexy and dangerous, Jovovich gives a performance reminiscent of Uma Thurman in Kill Bill gone sci-fi. She is fluid and deadly with a samurai sword and swift with double-barreled weapons. The plot lets Jovovich down by not providing a compelling context for the action she so lithely and athletically brings to the screen.

Ultraviolet is a step backward for director Kurt Wimmer, whose Equilibrium was a brilliant, but little seen, sci-fi kung fu movie. Wimmer and his stunt people created a new form of martial arts for Equilibrium that they dubbed Gunkata. This combination of martial arts and heavy artillery is once again on display in Ultraviolet but seems tamed somehow.

Ultraviolet has an amped-up body count but is relatively bloodless. There are a number of bodies sliced and diced, but very little blood is shed. In what was ultimately a vain attempt at a teen-friendly rating, the film keeps the bodies piled high but the blood to a minimum in a strangely unsatisfying combination. With so much action and so many bodies falling, bloodlust is a natural reaction. It's a little disappointing to watch a samurai sword in action and never see its aftermath.

The biggest problem with Ultraviolet, however, may not be its confused plotting or wimpy violence but rather the visual components that were supposed to be the film's calling-card. Using the camera technology that only George Lucas had previously employed for his last three Star Wars pics, Ultraviolet lacks the crisp, vivid, textures of Star Wars and instead takes on the milky aesthetic of a bad video game.

Whether it was a lack of experience with the technology or some kind of post-production snafu, the look of Ultraviolet is often out of focus, to the point where I asked the projectionist if there was a problem with the print. There wasn't. The faces of the actors are over exposed causing shadows or trailing; the colors go from vivid to filmy, often within the same scene.

It now seems like no surprise that Ultraviolet was held frin critics until opening weekend--they did not want this information about the film's look getting out.

The one reliable draw of Ultraviolet is star Milla Jovovich, who is quickly becoming the action heroine that Angelina Jolie was supposed to become with the Lara Croft movies. Granted, Jovovich has yet to take the lead in a really good action movie, but she has shown the chops of an action hero in everything from her supporting role in The Fifth Element, to both of the Resident Evil disasters, and now Ultraviolet. Through hard work and, yes, a killer body, Jovovich has managed to place herself above the subpar material and help you forget that she was in some pretty bad movies.

After Equilibrium became a fanboy favorite on DVD, director Kurt Wimmer could write his own ticket for his follow-up and, while Ultraviolet is a failure, you have to respect the risks he takes. Using a technology that neither he nor cinematographer Glen MacPherson knew how to use properly, Wimmer took a risk to create a new look for Ultraviolet and failed spectacularly. You have to respect the attempt, it made for one killer trailer.

Ultraviolet is a disappointment on a number of levels. From failing to give proper life to Milla Jovovich's well-crafted hero to director Kurt Wimmer's squandered potential. However, both will be back and here's hoping they try again together. Ultraviolet may not be successful, but its failure showed the potential a pair of risk-takers like Wimmer and Jovovich have of doing something great in the future.

Movie Review 16 Blocks

16 Blocks (2006) 

Directed by Richard Donner 

Written by Richard Wenk 

Starring Bruce Willis, Mos Def, David Morse

Release Date March 3rd, 2006 

Published March 2nd, 2006 

16 Blocks is the latest suspense-thriller from director Richard Donner, best known for the Lethal Weapon pictures. Those films are remembered more for Mel Gibson's manic performance and Donner's bombastic action scenes than for intricate or clever plotting. That makes 16 Blocks something of a surprise. Donner's attention to character details and fast-paced plotting in 16 Blocks turns what might have been another average action exercise into a compelling nail-biting suspenser.

A burned-out, drunkard cop, Jack Mosley (Bruce Willis) thinks his shift is over for the day. Heading for the door, and another bottle, Jack is stopped by his lieutenant and given one last assignment. Jack has 118 minutes to escort a prisoner, Eddie Bunker (Mos Def), 16 Blocks to the courthouse before the grand jury wraps for the day. Little does Jack know that the case the kid is testifying in is dangerous enough to get them both killed.

Bruce Willis is easily the most reliably compelling action star in film today. Even in his most rote or underwhelming vehicles like Bandits or Mercury Rising, Willis' flair and charisma are undeniable. In 16 Blocks Willis gives a character-driven performance that is becoming a trend as he transitions to elder-statesman action hero.

From his cop in Sin City to his cop in Hostage to his cop in 16 Blocks, Willis understands his niche and goes about finding unique notes for each character to play. The results have been very good thus far, with another unique character-driven performance coming this spring--a supporting role in the buzzworthy flick Alpha Dog.

Mos Def has proven himself an exceptionally-talented actor well beyond the stereotypical rapper-turned-actor. Seeking roles that most rappers-turned-actors either never seek nor pull off, Mos Def has excelled in the medical drama Something The Lord Made--for which he was nominated for an Emmy--and the effervescent Lackawanna Blues.

In 16 Blocks ,Mos Def cuts the figure of Eddie Bunker by adopting a unique, if occasionally unintelligible, patois that gives his motor-mouth character another layer of backstory for us to ponder. As the loquacious Eddie runs his mouth, Willis' cop becomes as irritated as we in the audience do, but just as he is eventually won over by Eddie's spirit and good nature, so are we.

Written by Richard Wenk, the screenplay for 16 Blocks is a cleverly-constructed action piece with two exceptional lead characters. Wenk strikes a near-perfect balance of character quirks, plot twists and big action sequences that, in retrospect, create a script that could not have been better suited for director Richard Donner, a master of the big action scene who's never had an action plot this good to back him up.

In 16 Blocks, Bruce Willis takes on the kind of role that Harrison Ford should consider. Willis, playing to  his age and capabilities, crafts a believable character. There is little ego to Willis' performance. The character is vulnerable, human, and very flawed. Where Ford cannot let go of his superman-action-hero persona, Willis defies his persona in ways that bring depth to his most recent performances. Am I saying one actor is better than the other? No, I am saying that Willis is currently making better choices than Ford and that Ford could learn a little something from watching Sin City, Hostage or 16 Blocks.

Director Richard Donner knows how to direct a crowd-pleasing action flick--he's been doing it since 1978's Superman. Three of the four Lethal Weapon movies are endlessly entertaining (the less said about the last Weapon sequel the better). Conspiracy Theory, Maverick and The Goonies are other terrific examples of Donner's crowd-pleasing abilities. What sets 16 Blocks apart from those films is the whipsmart plotting that backs up his other forte as a director--big, dumb, loud action. Keep an eye out for the bus chase scene which satisfies Donner's required major action set piece.

With Bruce Willis in the lead, 16 Blocks becomes almost infallibly entertaining. Watching Willis transition from action hero to aging character actor and yet maintain that star charisma is a real treat. His new persona solidified, we can only wonder now about his upcoming fourth Diehard film and how John McClane will fit with the new Bruce Willis. I cannot wait to see that, but even if Diehard 4 turns out to be a mistake, the new Bruce Willis should be able to recover quickly with another cheap, but efficient, thriller like 16 Blocks.

Movie Review Running Scared

Running Scared (2006) 

Directed by Wayne Kramer 

Written Wayne Kramer

Starring Paul Walker, Cameron Bright, Vera Farmiga, Michael Cudlitz

Release Date February 24th, 2006

Published February 24th, 2006 

Violence for the sake of violence is not necessarily a hallmark of the thriller genre, unless you're Quentin Tarentino. The thriller Running Scared shows why most thrillers begin with a plot and then introduce only the violence necessary to tell the story. Overwhelmed by its blood, guts and body count, Running Scared devolves quickly from a fast paced, Tony Scott inspired thriller into a nonsensical horror film.

Making matters worse is the fact that the film was directed by the terrific young auteur Wayne Kramer who made such a great splash with his debut feature The Cooler. Running Scared is a major step backward for a director with more talent than what this film demonstrates.

Paul Walker stars as Joey Gazelle, a low level mobster with the simple task of getting rid of dirty guns. After a drug deal goes bad and Joey's boss (Johnny Messner) kills a dirty cop, it's up to Joey to get rid of the piece, a pearl handled snub nosed revolver. Joey however has another idea. In covering his own backside he has been taking the hot guns he was supposed to be disposing of and hiding them in his basement in case he needs them for leverage.

Things go bad for Joey when one of his son's friends, Oleg (Cameron Bright) takes the pearl handle gun from his stash and uses it to try and kill his abusive father (John Noble). The kid fails to kill his dad, who also happens to have mob connections, and is now on the streets with the hot piece. Joey must find the kid and retrieve the gun before his partners or the cops find it first.

The plot to Running Scared is a correlative to Robert Altman's brilliant but short lived anthology series Gun which aired briefly on ABC in the mid-nineties. That show followed the path of a gun from one owner to the next and detailed the havoc wreaked in its wake. In the case of the gun in Running Scared it's the lives of mobsters, dirty cops, gang bangers and one small child.

Where Gun was a brilliant verbose little drama, Running Scared is a brutally violent and utterly meaningless mess of a film. Director Wayne Kramer, who made the far more interesting film The Cooler with William H. Macy, directs Running Scared as if he wished he had made a horror film instead of a gritty thriller. Amping up the body count to cover up his lack of a compelling plot, Kramer is forced to rely on his sleepy eyed star to provide the film's driving force and oh what a mistake that is.

Paul Walker with his slacker, frat boy, surfer demeanor is an actor I find insufferable. Though he was not bad in the doggy adventure flick Eight Below he was out acted by a group of huskies. He was okay in the Fast and Furious films but those movies aren't exactly challenging cinema. Running Scared wants to be something a little more than a cheap violent thriller but because Walker's only emotions are confused and sleepy the film falls short of exciting or even playful.

Kramer's love of over the top violence and seeing my sexuality are not merely reminiscent of Tony Scott they are, in Running Scared, an outright ripoff. The whip pan camera work and overlapping film stocks are direct lifts from Scott's last two features Domino and Man On Fire. The ridiculous violence and high body count a nod to Scott's True Romance.

The only originality to seep into this dark, dystopian thriller is a hockey torture scene that has received heavy rotation in the films ad campaign. The look of the scene is clever and the torture is something I had never seen before. The scene is bloody and a bit of a nail biter. Unfortunately this good scene is rare amidst the misguided plot.

Running Scared is a bizarre little film. Violent to the point of parody, the film could qualify as a horror flick for the amount of blood and guts that get spilled but it's all in service of nothing. There is nothing you can take away from the film. This film's many influences, Tony Scott and Quentin Tarentino among others, are each far superior. While Scott's last two films, Domino and Man On Fire were not great films, Scott's direction is amped and always in service of a compelling if flawed plot.

Tarentino is, of course, the master of screen violence. Kill Bill 1 & 2 are the only films outside the horror film genre that can favorably compare body counts with Running Scared. The difference is the violence in Tarentino's masterpieces plays like a blood and guts symphony. Each bullet fired, each slice of a samurai blade a note in a grand opera of eloquent violence. In Running Scared the violence is simply for the sake of being violent. The style of the film, the grit, the color scheme and the whip pans, are merely showing off and never part of a coherent vision of how to present screen violence.

Violence for violence sake is okay in the horror genre, but it gets old quickly in the thriller or noir genre if it is not clearly in service of a good plot. The plot to Running Scared is simply not compelling enough to justify the blood, guts and body count. Pure viscerality can only get a movie so far before you need to give the audience something to really chew on.

Running Scared is a step backward for a director who showed eclectic style in his debut feature. Wayne Kramer's The Cooler was a hard R-rated character piece with an excellent cast that was directed with a purpose. The violence and sexuality of The Cooler worked with its compelling characters and unique plot not against them. There was simply more to that film than the action and flesh displayed.

Running Scared never stops moving which works for maybe 45 minutes but without great characters and not much of a plot the wheels eventually come off and the film flies off the rails.

Movie Review Madea's Family Reunion

Madea's Family Reunion (2006) 

Directed by Tyler Perry 

Written by Tyler Perry 

Starring Tyler Perry, Blair Underwood, Lynn Whitfield, Boris Kodjoe 

Release Date February 24th, 2006

Published February 25th, 2006 

One of the most memorable moments of my critical career was a conversation with a colleague about how I got sucked in by Tyler Perry's drag queen melodrama Diary Of A Mad Black Woman. While my fellow critic stared through me as if I did not have a head, I recounted that I was taken with Perry's broad comedy and earnest social concerns. 

My colleague was, to say the least, not of the same mind regarding Diary of a Mad Black Woman. She could not get past Perry's bizarre drag-queen grandma, who she felt was even less convincing than Martin Lawrence's big momma. I would compare Madea more realistically to basketball star Larry Johnson's Grandmama commercial character in terms of believability, but I was willing to look past the bizarre drag queen escapade and allowed myself to be sucked in by the film's good intentions and big heart.

A similar feeling overtook me a few times during Perry's new film, Madea's Family Reunion. Unfortunately, those good feelings were less frequent as Family Reunion breaks down too often into pure melodrama and forgets to mix in the broad comic persona of Madea who, despite her appearance, was a reliable comic foil in Diary of A Mad Black Woman. In Family Reunion Madea is too often on the sidelines and in the scenes she's not in, she is missed.

Though Tyler Perry's Madea character is the star in title, the film's two lead performers are Madea's troubled nieces Lisa (Rochelle Aytes) and Vanessa (Lisa Arindell Anderson). Lisa is engaged to an abusive lawyer, Carlos (Blair Underwood), who made her his object of obsession at the behest of her own social-climbing mother Victoria (Lynn Whitfield), who sees the marriage as a boon to her flagging social standing.

Poor Vanessa is estranged from Victoria and has moved with her two children into Madea's welcoming home. She has a tentative romance with a bus driver, Frankie (Boris Kodjoe), who has a child of his own and a strict faith in God. He's also an elegant artist who values Vanessa's talent as a poet. It's a romance almost too good to be true that is nearly undone by dark family secrets that keep Vanessa from getting too close to the earnest and loving Frankie.

The film is not content, however, with these two highly melodramatic storylines. Perry, who wrote and directed the picture, cannot help tossing in snippets of his Christian values and an uplifting pair of monologues from the majestic Maya Angelou and the legendary Cicely Tyson. In a pair of speeches bemoaning the lack of manners, good taste and pride in the modern african-american community, these two elegant voices of reason address the family reunion on the virtues of faith, love and self respect.

These are admirable moments, but they are out of place. They are tacked on and distract from the main storylines. The speeches, no matter how well delivered, suck the air out of the room and leave the once boisterous, occasionally cheesy, and over-the-top film gasping. Most egregiously these scenes do not involve Madea, whose homespun politically-incorrect wisdom might have avoided the burdensome weightiness of the speeches.

In fact most of the film longs for more Madea. The main storyline involving Lisa, Vanessa and Victoria flies off the handle and into Dynasty-style kitsch melodrama. Whitfield especially vamps like Joan Collins and bullies her way through scenes like a Joan Crawford impersonator screaming for wire hangers. The plot twists are wildly dramatic with each of the sisters suffering in Jovian proportions their harridan mother's abusive past and present.

These scenes cry out for Madea to take the edge off with her sharp insults and 'get over it or I'll slap it out of you' style. Madea is outsized and unbelievable, but Perry makes her the funniest and by far most compelling character in the film. This is not vanity either. Perry gives his actors ample room to establish themselves apart from Madea but no one, aside from Whitfield's camp villainess, is able to take the reins and make the picture their own.

It is bizarre to think that Madea's Family Reunion needed more of Perry's drag queen grandmother but the fact is that the film's one true virtue is Madea's broad comic presence. Every scene that Madea is not the center of, you search for her. During the ponderous speechifying she is spotted in the crowd but does not speak. As each of the sisters' stories unfold Madea is consulted, but unlike Diary which brought Madea into the action as the heroine's violent protector, Family Reunion only allows Madea the occasional consultation.

You wait to see Madea open up a can of sassy whoopass on either Underwood's pompous abuser or Whitfield's witchy mother, but it never happens. Instead, Perry tries to rely on his young actresses to carry the day and neither Aytes or Anderson steps into the limelight.

The film's most entertaining moments are, like it or not, Madea's. A storyline that is sadly discarded, quite early in the film, has Madea assigned as the foster mother to a troubled runaway played by Keke Parker. As the rebellious child attempts to show Madea who's boss, the matronly Madea turns things around quickly with a swift backhand and, later, her belt. This sounds more controversial than it is. Madea is a caring foster mother who turns the child's life around with her old-school brand of tough love.

The scenes with Madea and the child are too few but they crackle with vitality, humor, warmth and justice. Madea is hardcore, but that is what we love about her. She is the parent as raging id, indulging the kind of freewheeling discipline that many parents grew up with in their own homes, but had drilled out of them in the age of Dr. Spock and, now, Dr. Phil. In Madea's world a spank and a hug are not too far apart in showing a child you care. Her approach is refreshing.

Madea's Family Reunion lacks the spark and originality of Diary Of A Mad Black Woman but ,most of all, it lacks Madea. I am almost embarrassed to admit it, but once again Tyler Perry managed to charm me with his good-hearted drag performance. Campy, kitschy, borderline ludicrous--I cannot help but enjoy Madea's outsize personality and heart.

If the film was more Madea and less the road show of Dynasty, I could give this film a hearty recommendation. As it is, Madea's Family Reunion is a good-natured but highly flawed melodrama, sprinkled with big laughs, but lacking a true center.

Movie Review: Eight Below

Eight Below (2006) 

Directed by Frank Marshall 

Written by David Digillio 

Starring Paul Walker, Bruce Greenwood, Jason Biggs, Moon Bloodgood

Release Date February 17th, 2006 

Published February 16th, 2006

Disney has a formula for every kind of film. That is how we end up with such junk as Glory Road or the wretched talking dog flick Snow Dogs. That also, however, is how we end up with such surprises as the monster hit Pirates of The Caribbean and the new animal adventure flick Eight Below. We know these two otherwise diverse films are of a particular brand name formula but both are so well accomplished we not only forgive the formula we like the film more for overcoming that formula.

Eight Below is 'inspired by' a true story of doggie survival in Antarctica in the 1950's. The story was first adapted by Japanese filmmakers in 1980 for a film called Nankoyoku Monogatari, unseen by me and well, unseen by most. In Eight Below the story of eight sled dogs abandoned in the arctic winter is directed by Frank Marshall and stars Paul "Sleep" Walker.

A science team in Antarctica sometime in the early nineties is welcoming a visiting UCLA science professor (Bruce Greenwood) who is on an expedition to find a meteorite he believes may be from Mars. With his hefty check in hand, and unbeknownst to the teams lead field explorer Gerry (Paul Walker), the teams boss has agreed to a dangerous excursion over the most treacherous sheets of ice in the arctic.

This means that instead of a simple snowmobile trip, Gerry and the professor will have to travel with the teams elite group of sled dogs. This is the human adventure portion of the film as Gerry and the professor make their way out to the most remote and dangerous mountain ranges in the arctic. Along the way they see dangerous leopard seals, and avoid treacherous thin ice. Of course it wouldn't be dramatic if the  the novice professor didn't fall through some thin ice and had to be rescued. On the plus side it's a chance for those amazing dogs to show off their talent.

From there a giant storm hits forcing the human inhabitants to flee. Gerry promises to return for the dogs but with the storm growing worse and the dangerous arctic winter setting in his imminent return seems unlikely. The dogs will have to fend for themselves for several months, that is if they can even escape their chains.

Frank Marshall is a director who works infrequently. In fact Eight Below is Marshall's first big screen effort since 1994's Congo. Still his work, including that aforementioned angry monkey movie, the plane crash horror film Alive and 1990's spider comedy Arachnophobia, has an indelible quality that has managed to become part of pop culture and cult phenomena. Eight Below is sadly very likely to be his least remembered film, in terms of pop culture cache, but it may in fact be his best. The films story of cross-species friendship, love and adventure is a terrific piece of work.

Especially strong are the scenes featuring the dogs. Alone in the arctic wilderness foraging for food, fighting for survival and remaining a family. The dogs become real characters with their own personalities. The rooting interest that Frank Marshall and screenwriter David Digillio instill in the dogs is remarkable and works even for those who may not consider themselves dog lovers.

Any film starring Paul 'Sleep' Walker that manages to be as exciting as Eight Below deserves some kind of award. Perhaps I am being a little hard on Walker, he rarely actually sleeps on screen. He's just a little slow is all. In Eight Below Walker is more than effective as the conscientious adventurer whose love of his sled dog team is as strong as any familial bond imaginable. Forget the sparkless romantic subplot with co-star Moon Bloodgood, Walker's love affair with the dogs works, giving him more than enough emotional depth for us to accept him.... no matter how slow he may be.

With all of the horrendous product aimed at kids at the movies, Eight Below is a revelation. The film never condescends to being a family drama. Frank Marshall simply tells his story to the best of his abilities and that it happens to be a family friendly adventure with strong values -friendship, family, love-  is really a bonus.

Unlike other Disney branded non-animation tripe -Shaggy Dog, Glory Road, Remember The Titans- Eight Below never gives you the sense you are being preached to or being sold something. This is a film of great integrity and in no way feels compromised like much of the product Disney shovels into theaters.

Yes the film is working from a particular formula and within genre strictures. The key to the film is how Frank Marshall and his team take the established formula and improve upon it with great skill and savvy. Eight Below defies formula by improving upon it.

From looking at Eight Below and Frank Marshall's resume of pop culture home runs, I wish he would work more frequently. However, if his long delays between projects means we can have more films of the quality and exciting nature of Eight Below, Frank Marshall should take as much time as he needs for his next picture.

Eight Below is a terrific film.