Movie Review: War

War (2007) 

Directed by Cory Yuen 

Written by Lee Anthony Smith, Gregory J. Bradley

Starring Jason Statham, Jet Li, Devon Aoki, Luis Guzman, Saul Rubinek

Release Date August 24th, 2007

Published August 24th, 2007

What a cool idea! Put Jet Li and Jason Statham together in a movie and have them beat the holy hell out of each other. It's the urban action movie equivalent of Freddy Vs Jason, if it's done right. You can't just put them in the same movie and then not deliver on the badass, hand to hand beatdown. Sadly, War does not deliver on this promise. This mindless shoot'em up places Li and Statham on opposite ends of a gang war and then, when it finally comes down to the two of them, as you know it should, War becomes a minor police action.

Jason Statham stars in War as Crawford a San Francisco FBI agent specializing in Asian crime gangs, the Yakuza and the Triads. When his partner and his family is murdered by the top Triad assassin, known only as Rogue (Jet Li), Crawford abandons his own loving wife and small child and goes on a three year, non-stop mission to find and kill Rogue.

After years of Rogue reshaping his face and globetrotting all over the world, he finally returns to San Francisco in unusual fashion. Having been the top assassin for the Triads, he returns to San Francisco and begins killing top Triad lieutenants. Soon he is helping the Yakuza obtain priceless art from the Triads only to then get the Triad guys killed. Essentially, Rogue has gone Rogue and is starting a war to kill off both gangs.

Crawford recognizes what Rogue is up too but cannot get past the death of his partner. Whether Rogue is doing him and the world a favor by eliminating two of the world's top crime organizations, Crawford still intends to kill Rogue. Thus the set up for what should be an epic showdown. Bullets fly, hundreds of extras are gunned down, all leading to the climactic head to head. And then.... And then...

Nothing. Well, not quite nothing. Jet Li and Jason Statham do get to go head to head but the fight, as choreographed and directed by Cory Yuen, it's beyond anti-climactic. Held at the mercy of a rather ludicrous plot twist, the fight is almost reserved, even genteel by Li and Statham standards. It ends at the mercy of the plot twist and the letdown drags down the whole film.

Though Jason Statham and Jet Li have worked together before in 2001's The One. However, they weren't really on the same star plain at that time. Statham was still a rising star and that interesting sci fi action flick ended not with Li vs Statham but Jet vs Jet Li. War finds Jet Li and Jason Statham as equals, Statham having rode The Transporter flicks to action star status, thus anticipation for their face off was high.

The whole movie lives and dies on Statham against Li and when director Cory Yuen blows that, he blows the whole picture. The fight is listless, uninspired and, as edited, almost incomprehensible. Then, of course, it ends too quickly at the mercy of one of the dumber plot twists we've seen in a while. If War were a better movie, the plot twist would have ruined it, as it is the plot twist only makes a bad situation worse.

War is a disappointment on even the modest scale of anticipation that greeted it. Action fans who wanted a knock down, drag out, hand to hand face off between Jet Li and Jason Statham will find little but disappointment in War. Li, as he has confessed in interviews, has clearly lost a step which may have contributed to the lackluster fight, but that does not excuse the failure of this potentially explosive face off.

If Jet Li couldn't go, he shouldn't have made the movie. Marketers should have especially not sold the film as a War between Jet Li and Jason Statham. What a jip.

Movie Review Stardust

Stardust (2007) 

Directed by Matthew Vaughn

Written by Matthew Vaughn, Jane Goldman

Starring Charlie Cox, Claire Danes, Robert De Niro, Michele Pfeiffer, Mark Strong, Sienna Miller

Release Date August 10th, 2007

Published August 10th, 2007

From the wildly inventive mind of Neil Gaiman comes Stardust. The fantasy of Stardust combines science fiction and romance with some wondrous takes on literary legends. On the surface; director Matthew Vaughn may not seem the ideal choice for such light hearted romantic notions. A protégé of Britain's maestro of violence Guy Richie, Vaughn's first outing as a director was the Richie influenced Layer Cake, a mob story with a pre-Bond Daniel Craig.

Nevertheless, Vaughn pulls off a near masterpiece of genre fiction in Stardust.

Tristan (Charlie Cox) is a fool for romance. He has fallen in love with the most beautiful woman in all of the town of Wall, Victoria (Sienna Miller) and will go to any length to win her heart, even if it means crossing the wall. The Wall that gives Tristan's hometown its name is a magical barrier between the real world and the realm of Faerie, a kingdom ruled by kings and witches and ghosts and flying pirates.

Most citizens are unaware of what is beyond the wall, only knowing that they are never to cross that wall. Tristan however, must cross the wall when he sees a falling star crash beyond the city limits and he promises that star to Victoria in exchange for her hand. Now Tristan will cross that wall and embark on a life altering adventure.

Opposing Tristan, without knowing it, is a trio of witches led by oldest sister Lamia (Michele Pfeiffer). She needs the star in order to replenish her and her sister's powers. Also on the trail of the star is Septimus (Mark Strong). He needs the star in order to finally inherit the throne of Faerie; ahead of his brothers, four of whom have met with an ugly fate, something that the others may meet as well if Septimus is to become king.

Meanwhile, the star is actually on earth in human form. Her name is Yvaine (Claire Danes) and when she is found by Tristan, the real love story and a truly grand adventure begins.

My description of Stardust makes it sound like a trifle, however, thanks no doubt to the hard boiled influences of director Matthew Vaughn, Stardust is a good deal more tart than I let on. The early scenes between Tristan and Yvaine crackle with conflict, as any good romantic match often does. She is aware that she has been sought as a gift for another, and though he finds her striking, Tristan longs for Victoria.

The film doesn't let this torturous banter go on to long and indeed doesn't play many of the typical romantic games in order to place roadblocks in the lovers path. Matthew Vaughn and co- writer Jane Goldman do a terrific job of allowing the romance to develop naturally and create roadblocks organically rather than by what is often dictated by the history of Hollywood romance.

With a light hearted take on some rather dark materials, Stardust is classically English in wit. Take for example Prince Septimus and his brothers. As they seek the crown, four have already been disposed of in ghastly fashion, even before we meet them. Each brother sticks around after his demise; left in the final pose of their passing. This provides a number of big laughs throughout the picture as the ghosts poke about.

The film also mines laughs from an unexpected source. Robert De Niro plays Captain Shakespeare, a blood thirsty air pirate who sails the sky stealing lightning and toughening up on anyone who dares board his ship unwelcome. When the Captain encounters Tristan and Yvaine, high in the clouds, the scene is strange not just for its location but for the wit of De Niro playing against type.

Who doesn't love a great romance? Stardust has a really good one in the story of Tristan and Yvaine. It's a story rife with conflicting emotions and grand romantic gestures and a good deal of suspense. The conclusion is not shocking but it's not predictable either, Yvaine is a star and must one day return to the sky. How that is resolved is a clever bit of romantic engineering, and don't forget that the lovely Sienna Miller plays Victoria.

Stardust also has a grand adventure as we take to the skies with pirates who harvest lightning and do battle with kings and witches. It's a wonderfully literate tale that will delight readers and non-readers alike. For the literate; nods to Tolkien and Shakespeare are a treat, while never distracting from the adventure and romance familiar to everyone. This is an artful yet still populist picture that can dazzle the film buff and the parents dragged to the theater by his teenagers, all in the same scene.

Stardust is a big step forward for director Matthew Vaughn. His leap in genre from hard boiled crime to light as a feather romance and broad science fiction; is a leap most directors could not make. His range is only a small example of his talent. Watching Stardust you sense a director of great confidence, poise and imagination. Beneath the surface of sometimes surly dialogue, is the soul of a poet and a big heart. All of which will serve Vaughn well as he strives for his first masterpiece.

Stardust is almost there. A terrific example of a talent on the rise, Stardust is a crowd pleasing romantic adventure for any audience.

Movie Review Ralph Breaks the Internet

Ralph Breaks the Internet (2018) 

Directed by Rich Moore, Phil Johnston

Written by Phil Johnston, Pamela Ribon

Starring John C. Reilly, Sarah Silverman, Gal Gadot, Jane Lynch, Jack McBrayer, Alfred Molina

Release Date November 21st, 2018 

Published November 20th, 2018

Ralph Breaks the Internet is the most surprising movie of 2018. I expected the sequel to 2012’s Wreck it Ralph to be entertaining, sweet and funny like the original. What I was not expecting was for Ralph Breaks the Internet to have such a complex and emotionally fertile story, one that would leave me in tears of thoughtful joy. I had no idea that the makers of Ralph Breaks the Internet would offer one of the smartest, warmest and most mature stories of 2018 to tell.

Ralph Breaks the Internet picks up 6 years after the events of the original story with Ralph (John C. Reilly) and his best pal Vanellope (Sarah Silverman) still tied at the hip and, in Ralph’s mind, living the dream. Each day is the same, go to work and have fun and then meet up at the Tapper game and drink root beer and laugh till the day starts all over again. Ralph could not be more content with things but Vanellope is beginning to get restless.

Tired of racing and winning on the same three candy tracks in her game Sugar Rush, Vanellope confesses to Ralph that she wishes her game would be a little different from time to time. Thinking he can fix his friend’s problem, Ralph uses his strength to tear apart the background of Sugar Rush to create a new, more challenging track. Vanellope is excited to try it but while she’s racing the new track the person playing her game breaks off the steering wheel.

Because the game is broken, Sugar Rush is turned off and Vanellope and her fellow Sugar Rush cast are now homeless. The only way to save the game from being recycled for parts is to find a new steering wheel. The only place to find a vintage, intact, Sugar Rush steering wheel is the internet where one awaits on EBay. With Vanellope in tow, Ralph enters the newly installed internet port at the arcade and the two are off to the races inside the internet.

The satire of internet culture was something I was concerned would become obvious or cheesy but I must say, it’s spot on. The gags here are inspired as the creators of Ralph Breaks the Internet find one winner of a gag after another. It’s not perfect, there are a couple groaners here and there, but what Ralph Breaks the Internet does well is be consistently inventive in how the movie presents everything from EBay to video streaming to search engines.

As the story builds momentum a theme begins to reveal itself as Vanellope begins to find her place on the internet, especially in a Grand Theft Auto inspired online game called Slaughter Race. Wonder Woman star Gal Gadot gives voice to Shank, the best racer in Slaughter Race who takes an immediate liking to Vanellope. The two have a lot in common, despite the obvious differences in their game and Ralph begins to worry that Vanellope might have a friend other than him.

Amid the gags about insidious internet ads, get rich quick schemes and viral videos, Ralph Wrecks the Internet cleverly tackles a story that all kids will face in their own lives about how you have to make room in life for the lives of others. Ralph will slowly learn that because he was content with the status quo it doesn’t mean his best friend was just as happy. He’s going on a journey to learn how to be mature and respect that friends can want different things and still be friends.

It’s a lesson that even adults can stand to learn. The idea of learning to respect other people instead of demanding only what you want is a lesson too many adults haven’t fully learned. The final act of Ralph Breaks the Internet deals with insecurity and fear in a manner that is absolutely perfect and highlights how we all can feel insecure sometimes but it’s how we maturely come to terms with our insecurity that defines us as a person.

That is a brilliant and fresh piece of storytelling that could not be more important for both children and adults. That the film is also wildly funny and artfully animated only underlines why Ralph Wrecks the Internet isn’t merely the best animated movie of 2018, it’s one of the best movies of 2018 full stop. I rank this number 2 on my favorite movies of 2018, right behind a completely different but brilliant work of horrific art, Hereditary.

I completely adore Ralph Wrecks the Internet. I laughed loudly and easily and by the end I was deeply moved and quite emotional. This is the feeling we hope to have when we go to any movie, this just happens to be an animated movie intended for children. It may be aimed at kids but Ralph Wrecks the Internet can reach any audience, the film is simply brilliant on all levels, of the best movies of this year and animated milestone for this decade.

Movie Review Monty Python's The Meaning of Life

Monty Python's The Meaning of Life (1983) 

Directed by Terry Jones

Written by Monty Python

Starring Eric Idle, Michael Palin, Terry Jones, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam

Release Date March 31st, 1983

Published March 31st 2013 

I have a horrible confession to make, I've never really been into Monty Python. I know, I know, anyone who considers themselves a serious fan of comedy tends to be into Monty Python but I've never really invested the time necessary to master the basics of Python's absurdist sketch comedy.

Sure, I can appreciate "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" but only as much as it reminds me of a more absurd version of a Mel Brooks comedy. It was with this in mind that I sat down for a 30th Anniversary look at "Monty Python's Meaning of Life" and once again I came away with a vague appreciation mixed with a bit of revulsion and a touch of confusion.

A Sketch Movie

'Meaning of Life' isn't so much a movie, in the traditional sense of the word, as it a collection of all new, in 1983 anyway, Python material reminiscent of the popular TV series that spawned the legendary comedy troupe. These however, are preceded by a wonderfully bizarre and oddly still trenchant today riff on corporate accountants called "The Crimson Permanent Assurance."

This 17 minute short film follows a group of accountants treated as slaves to their adding machines until the geezers decide to rebel. Once having seized the accounting firm they pull up anchor, hoist the main sail and suddenly the stodgy old English building is a working pirate ship enroute to a swanky financial district seeking the most hostile of takeovers.

Even today so-called Corporate 'Raiders' remain the pirates of Wall Street pillaging any company they choose and doing bloody battle with any company that stands in their way. The fact that so little has seemed to change in 30 years is disturbing and yet it adds an even greater tickle to this already delightful short satire.

Why Are We Here?

From there we are thrust into the Python troupe's sorta-kinda examination of the meaning of life, i.e 'Why are here?' ("At this restaurant?" "No sir, on this planet") First up for satire is the miracle of birth from different ends of the socio-economic ladder. On one end a woman finds herself almost ignored by doctors, played by Graham Chapman and John Cleese, more interested in playing with high end medical gadgets than in delivering her baby.

On the other end of the spectrum a poor bloke played by Michael Palin has just lost his job at the mill and must break it to his several dozen children that many of them will have to be given up for medical experimentation. This is merely the jumping off point for a soft-hearted satire of Catholics and the Church's illogical stance on birth control via the song via the not-so subtle tune "Every Sperm is Sacred."

The opening bit is tagged with another satire, this time of Protestants, played by Chapman and Eric Idle, as protestants who mock the Catholic stance on birth control yet never seem to take advantage of the birth control freedoms the clueless Chapman praises in volume and in variety as his wife listens ever to be disappointed.

Stiff Upper Lips and other Such Things

Further portions of 'The Meaning of Life' tackle learning from the perspective of a fearful Catholic school that teaches an abiding fear of God's wrath alongside a very liberal idea of sex education. Later the subject of War is lampooned with a joyously violent birthday celebration amidst the chaos of World War 1 and a tribute to the ever stiff upper lips of the English Officer Class.

Though these segments earn solid chuckles they are the least connected to the themes of 'Meaning of Life' and a brief break in the middle of the movie, actually called "The Middle of the Movie," seems to acknowledge the lack of connection while the following scene 'Middle Age' quickly moves to excuse it by openly mentioning how disconnected the film is from the title.

Not that formalism is on order for "Monty Python's The Meaning of Life." Directed by the wildly brilliant and unpredictable Terry Gilliam and fellow Python Terry Jones, 'Meaning of Life' as a title is merely a marketing tactic meant to tie together the Python's many bright sketch ideas and a few less bright ideas.

Mr. Creosote

Least among the sketches in "Monty Python's The Meaning of Life" is one that opens Part 6 "The Autumn Years." I can recall friends and comedians referencing someone called 'Mr. Creosote' and having no idea what the reference was about. Now having witnessed 'Mr. Creosote' for myself I am re-evaluating my friends and idols.

The sketch involves an exceptionally large man, played director Jones, dining at a fancy restaurant and repeatedly projectile vomiting onto anything and anyone in range. I get the joke, it comes from the sheer lunacy of the large man and his extraordinary amount of vomit but knowing that doesn't make me laugh. The premise is flawed and the denouement of the large man exploding after eating a tiny after dinner mint is a mere ripoff of an Warner Bros. cartoon writ with more gore.

I did however, enjoy the final sketch "Death." It begins with a wildly inappropriate and terrifically funny sketch about a condemned man, Chapman, allowed to choose his method of death. I won't spoil this part as it truly deserves to be seen; I will only say that I might choose such a method death were I in a similarly absurd condemnation.

So, after thirty years, do I recommend "Monty Python's The Meaning of Life?" Yes and no. Yes, I recommend it for the truly curious who want to know more about the legendary Monty Python. However, because of 'Mr. Creosote' and another rather gory sketch involving forced liver donations, I must advise those with weak stomachs to pass on 'The Meaning of Life.'

Movie Review High Road to China

High Road to China (1983) 

Directed by Brian G. Hutton 

Written by Sandra Weintraub 

Starring Tom Selleck, Bess Armstrong, Jack Weston, Wilfred Brimley

Release Date March 18th, 1983

Published March 18th, 2013 

This weekend in 1983 a terrible Hollywood tradition continued; the tradition of the knock off. For every blockbuster movie there are at least one or sometimes a dozen similar movies hoping to strip mine the same success. In 1983 "High Road to China" arrived with hopes of glomming off the success of "Raiders of the Last Ark" and in grossing more than 28 million dollars it was a solid, entirely forgettable, hit movie.

Plot

In Turkey in 1920 pilot Patrick O'Malley (Selleck) is scraping out an existence as a pilot for hire who teaches rich folks to fly planes. O'Malley's life is altered forever when he encounters Eve (Bess Armstrong), a spoiled rich girl who needs to find her missing father before she loses her inheritance. Together the gruff O'Malley and the dilettante Eve go on an adventure that will lead them into the hills of Tibet and the fires of a revolution.

Review

Arriving at the box office a week after the execrable thriller "10 to Midnight," "High Road to China" must have been a breath of fresh air by comparison. 'High Road' has the breezy charm of an episode of "Magnum P.I" with the budget explosion and bullet budget only a big screen feature can afford. Selleck has the predictable charm of a roguish adventurer and plays well off of Armstrong's flighty socialite. That said, it's easy to understand how our collective pop culture forgot about "High Road to China." The direction is less than adventurous; the plot halts and stalls more than Selleck's planes and while 'High Road' is often mildly amusing it lacks the much needed sense of humor that marked the Saturday afternoon serials of the 1930's that inspired it.

Trivia

Director Brian G. Hutton is said to have given up directing after "High Road to China" and became a plumber.

Hutton's only other notable directorial effort was the 1970 war movie "Kelly's Heroes" starring Clint Eastwood, Telly Savalas and Don Rickles.

Final thoughts

Many different sources claim that "High Road to China" was Hollywood's consolation prize to Tom Selleck after he missed out on "Raiders of the Lost Ark." As 'Raiders' fans know Selleck got as far as the screen test wearing Indy's iconic hate and whip before losing out on the role because CBS would not adjust his shooting schedule for the TV detective series "Magnum P.I." It certainly doesn't seem coincidental that Selleck wound up playing an unlikely adventurer in the 1920's in an exotic location with a beautiful sidekick/love interest.

"High Road to China" is an indication of one thing for sure, Hollywood's love of knock offs hasn't changed. Thirty years later Hollywood still looks at one successful movie and attempts to clone it for a quick buck. For every blockbuster that lasts forever ala "Raiders of the Lost Ark" there is a "High Road to China" cynically chasing a buck in the blockbuster wake.

Movie Review 10 To Midnight

10 To Midnight (1983)

Directed by J.Lee Thompsom

Written by J. Lee Thompson

Starring Charles Bronson, Andrew Stevens, Gene Davis, Ola Ray, Kelly Preston

Release Date March 11th, 1983

Published March 11th, 2013 

30 years ago, March 11th 1983, the most talked about movie of the weekend had no Witches or Wizards or magic or wonder. Instead, a 'scummy little sewer of a movie,' "10 to Midnight" packed houses and continued to demonstrate the unlikely star power of a not so handsome brut named Charles Bronson, the man men wanted to be and women didn't mind hiding behind if a killer was coming.

Plot: A nude serial killer (Gene Davis) is stalking the women who've rejected him and offing them in gruesome fashion. Nearly captured by veteran Detective Leo Kessler (Bronson) and his young handsome partner (Andrew Stevens), the killer turns his vengeance on Kessler's daughter setting up a cat and mouse chase between cop and killer that tests the limits of the law and morality.

Review: Roger Ebert called "10 to Midnight" 'a scummy little sewer of a movie' and that's not mere hyperbole. "10 to Midnight" is a revolting little piece of trash that ranks alongside "I Spit on Your Grave" and the oeuvre of Eli Roth in the pantheon of sick and twisted movies. Harsh? Hardly, the film makes great sport of nude women cowering in fear from the killer as well as the killer's penchant for stripping nude to commit his murders. Bronson draws more laughs than drama from his reading of such abysmal dialogue as "Anyone does something like this (gesturing toward a nude stabbing victim), his knife is his penis."

Trivia: "10 To Midnight" features an early performance from Kelly Preston, billed as Kelly Palzis (a savvy career movie Kelly but we recognize you), and a pre-"Thriller" Ola Ray, both playing co-workers of Bronson's daughter.

Final thoughts: Why didn't Andrew Stevens make it as a star? Maybe it was this movie.

The title "10 to Midnight" means absolutely nothing. The title is never even hinted at during the film having apparently been selected at random by producers Menachem Golan and Yuri Globus.

Golan and Globus are two of the all time scuzziest producers in Hollywood history. Their anything for a buck style of movie making led them to release six films in 1983, none more memorable than "10 to Midnight."

Movies have seemingly grown tamer since the early 80's. It hardly seems possible that a movie as sadistic, misogynist, and featuring so much unnecessary naked flesh as "10 to Midnight" would get made in this day and age. Then again, it may also be an example of the evolution of taste; after all audiences once believed a two bit, one note tough guy like Charles Bronson was a star whose presence was worth the price of admission.

Movie Review Safe Haven

Safe Haven (2013)

Directed by Lasse Hallstrom 

Written by Dana Stevens

Starring Julianne Hough, Josh Duhamel, Cobie Smulders, David Lyons

Release Date February 14th, 2013 

Published February 15th, 2013

I love "Safe Haven." I truly, love this Nicholas Sparks adapted romance starring Julianne Hough and Josh Duhamel. I just don't love it for the reasons that the filmmakers intended. "Safe Haven," directed by Oscar nominee Lasse Hallstom, has an ending that is so balls out goofy it turns an otherwise banal romantic thriller into one of the most gloriously cheeseball movies of all time.

A woman on the run

"Safe Haven" stars former "Dancing with the Stars" pro Julianne Hough as Katie, a woman on the run from a dangerous past. Flashbacks inform us that Katie may have murdered her abusive husband. We find Katie as she is boarding a bus that will eventually whisk her away to the idyllic paradise of Southport, North Carolina.

Southport is a town so small that no one bothers to do background checks or require a proof of ID before giving someone a job and renting them a home; what luck for a woman who may or may not be wanted for murder. Back in Katie's, not her real name mind you, home town in Boston a very determined and sweaty detective (David Lyons) is pulling out all the stops to track her down.

Of course there is a love story

Naturally, while Katie is trying to keep a low profile she will fall in love; this is a Nicholas Sparks adaptation after all. The love interest is Alex (Josh Duhamel), a widower with two adorable tots and an irresistible southern manner. He's smitten immediately but Katie needs a pushy neighbor named Jo (Cobie Smulders, "How I Met Your Mother") before she gives up her seclusion for romance.

For most of "Safe Haven" we are treated to boilerplate Nicholas Sparks romantic drama as Katie and Alex fall in love and Katie's past looms as the final act obstacle to their happily ever after. Then the final minutes of "Safe Haven" arrive and like a phoenix from the ashes of mediocrity "Safe Haven" arises to become an all time cornball classic; a true epic of cheesy badness.

No spoilers, I promise

I will not spoil the ending in this review because I want you to see it for yourself. I realize that this flies in the face of being a professional critic; recommending a bad movie, but I can't help myself; I love how bad this movie ends and I want to share it with you. The ending of "Safe Haven," for those who haven't read Sparks' novel, is joyous nonsense; a twist even M. Night Shyamalan would find contrived.

So wonderfully dumb is this ending that it took me nearly biting through my bottom lip to keep from bursting out in girlish giggles. Until the final 10 minutes, give or take a minute, I was ready to forget about "Safe Haven." Once the final credits began to roll however, I wanted to stand up and applaud and thank Lasse Hallstrom for the gift he's given to bad movie lovers everywhere.

"Safe Haven" is the first, and likely the only, must see bad movie of 2013.

Movie Review Bullet to the Head

Bullet to the Head (2013) 

Directed by Walter Hill

Written by Alessandro Camon

Starring Sylvester Stallone, Sung Kang, Sarah Shahi, Jason Momoa 

Release Date February 13th, 2013

Published April 1st, 2013 

If you need a good example of Hollywood misogyny look no further than to any reference to plastic surgery. Women in Hollywood are subjected to endless derision for their decision to prolong their youth through science while men like Billy Crystal and Sylvester Stallone are somehow immune. Both Crystal and Stallone make Melanie Griffith and Cher look shy and retiring by comparison and yet they are rarely the subjects of public mockery and certainly not to the extent of their female counterparts.

I bring up this topic because Mr. Stallone has returned to the big screen in the forgettable action movie "Bullet to the Head." The film finds Stallone almost unrecognizable from his days as Rocky and Rambo. Our former blue collar action hero has had more work done and ingested more chemicals to combat aging than any aging diva and yet he's allowed to keep his dignity.

Jimmy Bobo

"Bullet to the Head" casts Stallone as Jimmy Bobo, a low-level thug who specializes in killing with no questions asked. Jimmy will have more than a few questions of his own to ask however, after his partner is murdered following what seemed like a routine job knocking off a coked up ex-cop. Jimmy himself was targeted for death by the same man who killed his partner, played by Jason Momoa, but managed to survive. That, dear friend, is the setting for a revenge thriller.

Joining Jimmy as his new odd couple sidekick is Washington D.C detective, Taylor Kwan (Sung Kang). The cop Jimmy killed is Kwan's ex-partner but for reasons the film is intentionally vague about, he's not interested in getting Jimmy but rather the people who hired Jimmy. Together Jimmy and Detective Kwan begin cutting a bloody swath through the New Orleans underworld on their way back to Momoa's big bad, a thug who has no interest in money, only in killing.

The Flower of Promise?

That last paragraph intimates some promise in this story. It's a kind of twist that you have a central villain who isn't a mustache twirling schemer but rather a character that seems like a murderous lackey and turns out to be the most formidable character in the film. That promise sadly never flowers because Momoa is too much of a blank slate. The character lacks panache and beyond his odd choice of weapon, an ax, he lacks any real characterization and has zero depth.

Director Walter Hill, a veteran of both memorable ("The Warriors") and forgettable action movies, does manage to make "Bullet to the Head" presentable, even a tad watchable. Unfortunately, he's saddled with Stallone and his vain attempt to maintain his shred of star power. Stallone's vanity dominates "Bullet to the Head" and condemns the film to desperation. A scene set in a New Orleans bathhouse is merely an opportunity for the vainglorious star to remove his shirt and pretend he's Taylor Lautner. Meanwhile we in the audience can only marvel at the wonders of science both legal and questionable.

What movie did I see?

I will give Stallone credit for not demanding a nubile love interest to further his desperate quest for youth. Young Sarah Shahi, the only female character in the film, is instead Stallone's daughter in the film, conceived assumedly when Jimmy was in his mid-forties hooker loving phase. Given the amount of substances that Stallone is on to maintain his physique, it's fair to guess that he's beyond Viagra and thus the need for a love interest. As for Ms. Shahi, she's little more than a pretty face and serves the purpose of a damsel in distress before being given as a prize to Kang's sidekick detective.

I don't hate "Bullet to the Head;" that would require more effort than the film is worth. Rather, I find it impossible to maintain much of a memory of the film. I remember enough to give you a cursory description of the plot and I have made great effort to remember the actors involved but beyond that, the film is so forgettable that the title will be lost to me in the mere seconds after I finish this review. Nothing of.. of… "Bullet to the Head" (sorry began to forget it already) has earned space in my mind, a place where Derek Jeter's rookie year batting average and the names of WWE Divas still reside.

The Aging Star

The only thing remotely memorable about "Bullet to the Head" is Sly Stallone's vanity. Where once he was Rocky, among the least vain characters in film history, he is now a caricature. Stallone is the Frankenstein's monster of modern science; a sad testament of an image obsessed culture. Stallone is now more machine than man; more dangerous science experiment than human being.

While the movie will never be remembered, still photographs from "Bullet to the Head" will likely be exhibits in Stallone's autopsy. When science finally does fail to convert Stallone into a jet fuel based life-form doctors will examine stills from this film to see where the science experiment went wrong; to see where the surgically implanted seams began to fail. It's sick and it's quite a twisted thought, but it is the only thing I will take away from "Bullet to the Head."

Movie Review Promised Land

Promised Land (2012) 

Directed by Gus Van Sant

Written by Gus Van Sant 

Starring Matt Damon, John Krasinski, Frances McDormand, Rosemarie Dewitt, Hal Holbrook 

Release Date December 28th, 2012 

"Promised Land" has an earnest charm that sadly isn't enough to repair its airless, smug storytelling. Written by stars Matt Damon and John Krasinski, "Promised Land" is an achingly liberal tract about the environmental dangers posed by gas companies and while there is a nobility of ideas, there is a distinct lacking in execution.

Born in a Small Town

Damon stars as Steve Butler, a rising star at a gas company called Global. Steve is from Eldridge, Iowa and was deeply influenced by the loss of a Caterpillar plant in Davenport that, for a time, devastated the local economy of his hometown and surrounding towns. That loss drives Steve today to buy up struggling family farms in hopes of enriching people who remind him of his former neighbors.

That much of what Steve is selling are lies does wear on him but he hopes that the potential for big checks for himself, and the small town folks he's buying up, will make up for his bad karma. Steve's partner Sue (Francis McDormand) is driven more by her paycheck than her backstory.

Together they travel to a small farming community in Pennsylvania where they hope to sell the locals on selling their land to the gas company. Steve and Sue find trouble however, in a local teacher (Hal Holbrook) and an out of town environmentalist (John Krasinski), eager to stir up anti-natural gas sentiment.

Small Town Showdown

That's the set up for a small town showdown but where the film goes from there is far too silly and smug to support the kind of drama that the stars and director Gus Van Sant want to create. We know from the beginning, as Steve is dunking his head in a bathroom sink, that a crisis of conscience is imminent. We also know the crisis of conscience is coming because Damon is a well-known liberal activist playing a character working for an evil gas company.

Whether you're inclined to agree with Damon and Krasinski or not doesn't really matter. You can be a hardcore, left wing, liberal Democrat and still find "Promised Land" mind numbingly predictable; at least in the case of Damon's Steve. If you can predict where Krasinski's character is headed, you're better at this than I am and you will also still be dumbfounded by it.

Charming Stars

All of that said, and putting my issues with the film aside, it's impossible for this group of stars, which also includes Rosemarie Dewitt as Damon's love interest/savior, not to have a little charm. Krasinski pours on the smug as the righteous environmentalist but he does deliver a charmingly bad Bruce Springsteen karaoke performance. Damon is a little more troublesome as he has the burden of predictability around his neck.

Thankfully, Damon is well teamed with Dewitt and their scenes together crackle with the chemistry of a more interesting movie. McDermott is her usual fascinating, funny self as the more pragmatic and resigned character than Damon. And then, of course, there is Holbrook who lends the film his integrity for a couple of pretty good scenes.

Is "Promised Land" a bad movie? No, but it is far from a good movie. The film telegraphs its intentions and never raises enough interest to get around its predictability. There is a good deal of skill and charm in the acting and direction of "Promised Land" but it is in service of a failing, predictable, tract of a story.

Movie Review Silver Linings Playbook

Silver Linings Playlist (2012) 

Directed by David O. Russell

Written by David O. Russell

Starring Bradley Cooper, Jennifer Lawrence, Robert De Niro, Jackie Weaver, Chris Tucker

Release Date November 16th, 2012 

Published November 15th, 2012 

Manic people can change the temperature of any room they are in with their mood. Not literally of course, but anyone who's been in a room with a manic personality has experienced the unbelievable warmth and good humor that moments later becomes an icy cold stare based on something only the manic personality is aware of.

The dramatic comedy "Silver Linings Playbook," written and directed by David O. Russell is the rare film to capture this unique change in temperature. Bradley Cooper's Patrick is a manic personality whose mood swings seem to control the very atmosphere of any room he inhabits.

White Knuckle Determination

Pat was once just a chubby Philadelphia schoolteacher with a struggling marriage and a mental illness he kept in check through white-knuckle determination. That determination was not enough to keep Pat from nearly murdering the man whom he caught having sex with his wife in his own home when he came home from work early one day.

Cut to eight months later and Pat is being released from a mental institution. Pat's mother Dolores has, against doctor's orders, decided to take legal responsibility for him and bring him home. Unfortunately for Dolores, Pat has no interest in following the rules of his release, including taking his meds and seeing a shrink. Instead, Pat intends to get in shape and win back his wife; regardless of the restraining order she has against him.

Manic, Filter-less, Motormouth

Pat's plan is altered greatly by the introduction of Tiffany (Jennifer Lawrence), a manic personality in her own right, though not nearly as volatile as Pat. Tiffany's manic nature comes from the sudden death of her husband. Months of having people step lightly around her and her problems, Tiffany finds Pat's manic, filter-less motor-mouth refreshing.

Tiffany then sets her heart on winning Pat over. Here is where writer-director David O. Russell really begins to get comfortable with this story. The first 30 to 35 minutes of the film he establishes Pat's nature via his relationship with his parents, Dolores, the cheerleader and his father Pat Sr. (Robert DeNiro), who's own anxieties are a clear influence on Pat's nature.

A Lively, Strange Romance

Once Pat and Tiffany become the center of the story "Silver Linings Playbook" becomes a lively, strange romance with the off-beat rhythm of Russell's under-appreciated "I Heart Huckabees" and the rom-com warmth of his oddball romance "Flirting with Disaster." One can also see the commercial influence of Russell's greatest hit, the Academy Award nominated "The Fighter," in the late moments of "Silver Linings Playbook" and the combination is thrilling to watch.

"Silver Linings Playbook" is the perfect David O. Russell movie. The characters are a reflection of his interests, flawed, struggling human beings striving to be better while often standing in their own way. Pat strives toward what he calls a 'Silver Lining' and it is a credit to Russell that this aphorism is never really explained and only means something to Pat.

Appealing and Entertaining

Bradley Cooper's performance in "Silver Linings Playbook" can easily be overlooked. Much of Pat's manic personality is expressed through Russell's camerawork and the brilliant classic rock score that feels as if it is emerging from Pat's fevered mind. That said, it's Cooper who has to convince you fully of Pat's volatile qualities as wells as his relatable, lovable qualities and he does that in a most appealing and entertaining way.

Cooper is aided greatly by a generous performance by Academy Award nominee Jennifer Lawrence. We find a strange sort of balance in Pat when he's with Tiffany and while we recognize it immediately, it's exciting to watch Pat slowly realize it throughout the rest of the movie. These two damaged souls are perfect together and unlike so many romantic comedy pairings, that perfection isn't forced into being but allowed time to breath and build.

The Return of Robert DeNiro

Add Robert DeNiro's finest work in years and you have quite a remarkable movie. Over the last decade, I had come to believe that DeNiro was coasting on his own legend. Watching some of DeNiro's recent work you see an actor not fully engaged, an old man too tired to do the work needed to transcend the way he did as a younger, fresher and more committed performer.

Something in the direction of David O. Russell lit a fire under DeNiro in "Silver Linings Playbook" and for the first time since maybe "Goodfellas" that twinkle in DeNiro's eye is more than just the memory of his past greatness. The passion and energy that DeNiro brings to Pat Sr. matches the volatility and sadness of Cooper's manic character and the father son dynamic they create is both awkward and illuminating.

Director and Character Unite

It's easy to suggest that "Silver Linings Playbook" comes from a very personal place for David O. Russell. Outside of his writing and directing Russell is known for his volatility with actors and critics. It's easy to speculate that Russell finds something of himself in the character of Pat and it gives him an insight into the character that others may not have. It would be foolish to diagnose Russell manic or bi-polar from afar but the evidence presented in "Silver Linings Playbook" indicates an insight others don't have.

Were Russell to share a degree of Pat's illness it would only serve to deepen the film's final act. As Pat finds something akin to peace, maturity and perspective, so has Russell seemed to gain something similar over the arc of his career. "Spanking the Monkey," "Flirting with Disaster,"Three Kings" and "I Heart Huckabees" were made by an uncompromising artist committed to a very specific vision and willing to physically defend that vision. Then, after reaching his most volatile with 'Huckabees,' a new perspective and maturity took hold and led to "The Fighter," his greatest success.

"Silver Linings Playbook" has the best of both of David O. Russell's worlds. The vision that made Russell an artist and the maturity that made him successful. The parallel journey of director and character in "Silver Linings Playbook" is remarkable to watch and part of what makes this one of the best movies of 2012.

Movie Review Deadfall

Deadfall (2012) 

Directed by Stefan Ruzowitzky 

Written by Zach Dean 

Starring Eric Bana, Charlie Hunnam, Sissy Spacek, Kris Kristofferson, Kate Mara, Olivia Wilde 

Release Date December 7th, 2012 

Published December 14th, 2012

Some movies just don't get the support they deserve. The thriller "Deadfall" is a good example. This smart, effective thriller starring Eric Bana, Olivia Wilde and Charlie Hunnam was forced to forgo much of a theatrical release in favor of an On-Demand cable release and has been judged by many as a failure because it's not playing on over a thousand screens nationwide.

That most movies that go this release route aren't very good serves to taint "Deadfall" and that's truly a shame. The fact is, "Deadfall" is better than dozens of so-called thrillers that made it to thousands of screens only to disappoint mass audiences in the same way "Deadfall" is thrilling and surprising the lucky few who've given it a chance.

Knocked Off Balance

"Deadfall" knocks viewers off balance from the opening moment. Three thieves, including Bana and Wilde as brother and sister, Addison and Liza, are headed for the Canadian border when their getaway car strikes a deer and the careens off of a snowy, Michigan back road. The getaway driver is killed and moments later, a bloodied Addison murders a responding State Trooper.

This jarring opening sets an unusual but nonetheless compelling tone for "Deadfall." As Addison and Liza divide their money and part ways with plans to reconnect in Canada another part of this story begins. Jay (Charlie Hunnam) has just been released from prison. We aren't made aware of his crime but it involves his past as boxer and a fraud in the ring. Jay quickly finds trouble again at his former gym and is soon on the run.

A Thriller, A Love Story, A Psychological Examination

These two stories converge when Jay happens upon a near catatonic Liza in the middle of the frozen highway. After rescuing her the two find sanctuary at a hotel bar. A few drinks and minor confessions later they are forgetting their troubles by shedding their clothes in the hotel. For Liza, this is part of a plan to get Jay to take her to his parents home, near the Michigan-Canadian border, a place he mentioned in passing.

After Liza calls Addison and tells him where they should meet up, her plans begin to change. Forced to spend another day at the hotel because of the winter conditions, Liza finds her connection to Jay getting deeper. The damage these two share leads to passion and what could very well be love, even as the two have only just met. It's a testament to the chemistry of Wilde and Hunnam that we barely question this connection.

Near Perfect Logic

The story of "Deadfall" unfolds to include Jay's perfectly cast parents, Sissy Spacek and Kris Kristofferson, and a young rural cop played by Kate Mara who's dealing with familial issues of her own in the form of her over-bearing cop father played by Treat Williams. That all of these characters will arrive at the same place at the same time at the end of the film is a given. How all arrive there and what happens is what makes "Deadfall" such an effective thriller.

There is a near perfect logic to the way the ending of "Deadfall" plays out. Writer Dean and director Ruzowitzky combine the psychological examination of Addison with the brief love story of Jay and Liza, the parental angst of Mara and Williams and Jay's struggles with his parents and his life into a simple, straightforward thriller plot that somehow never feels crowed over-complicated. There should not be a way for "Deadfall" to work so efficiently with so much weight heaped upon each character but it does.

Don't Judge a Movie By Its Release Strategy

So why, if "Deadfall" is as good as I am telling you it is, have you not heard about this film? Some of it has to do with Bana, a movie star who just hasn't become a Movie Star. When Bana was cast in "Deadfall" there was hope that his star-power along with a terrific supporting cast could propel the film. Unfortunately, Bana has simply never caught on with audiences and it was more efficient, from a business standpoint, to forgo theatrical release in favor of a direct to cable route.

While playing in several small theaters "Deadfall" was made available on Video on Demand services and on Amazon.com's streaming service. Do yourself a favor and don't judge the film for its lack of a wide theatrical release. "Deadfall" is more than worth a look On Demand or download.

Movie Review Hyde Park on the Hudson

Hyde Park on the Hudson (2012) 

Directed by Roger Mitchell 

Written by Richard Nelson

Starring Bill Murray, Laura Linney 

Release Date August 31st, 2012 

Published November 10th, 2012 

"Hyde Park on Hudson" is a strange movie. On the surface, it appears to be a prim and proper period piece centered on an American President. In reality, it is a trim and tawdry, Jerry Springer-esque expose on the secret affair between a President and his cousin. Jerry Springer-esque is a slight overstatement though this version of FDR and his sordid private life would make a fitting guest for a trashy talk show.

There is no arguing with the notion that President Franklin Delano Roosevelt cheated on his wife Eleanor with many different women. There is also no denying that a good movie can be made about one or all of these affairs. The problem is "Hyde Park on Hudson" picks the absolute worst instance of this adultery to focus on. It's about the time that FDR got a handjob from his cousin and pursued sleeping with her. UGHHH!!!! 

Uncomfortable and Icky

Laura Linney is the ostensible star of "Hyde Park on Hudson" as President FDR's fifth cousin Daisy (If you think her being a fifth cousin is an excuse, re-evaluate your life and don't spend time with your extended family, eww). When the President, played by Bill Murray, is at his home away from home, known as Hyde Park on Hudson, he finds distraction and comfort in the company of Daisy with whom he can, for a moment, forget the problems of the free world and simply be Franklin.

That sounds lovely until 'that scene' happens. Our illusions about the stately, period picture decorum of "Hyde Park on Hudson" are shattered early on in Daisy and FDR's first outing together. Having driven out to the middle of a field and dismissed the secret service, FDR slowly encourages Daisy into a... sexual encounter. She... gives the President a handy. I already mentioned that but it calls for repeating, the President encouraged his cousin into giving him a handjob and someone thought that should be in a movie starring Bill Murrary and Laura Linney. 

What a Waste

The film never recovers from this scene. even as the screenwriting attempts to make excuses about the distance between Daisy and FDR on the family tree. Every scene after Daisy and FDR's indelicate encounter in the field is a forced attempt at classing things up. The film's supposed focus is the first ever visit of the British Royal Family to the home of an American President but we're never allowed the opportunity to invest in that plot because there is no recovering from the President getting tossed off by a member of his family. 

As I said earlier, there is a good movie to be made about the messy private life of an American President but this is not it. "Hyde Park on Hudson" is a shabby, tawdry, and still somehow, often quite dull picture that wastes the talents of two of my favorite performers, Bill Murray and Laura Linney. It says something terrible about "Hyde Park on Hudson" that two so talented actors as Murray and Linney cannot improve the movie enough to make it palatable.

Movie Review Killing Them Softly

Killing Them Softly (2012) 

Directed by Andrew Dominik 

Written by Andrew Dominik 

Starring Brad Pitt, Scoot McNairy, Ben Mendelsohn, Richard Jenkins, James Gandolfini, Ray Liotta 

Release Date November 30th, 2012 

Published November 29th, 2012 

There is a good movie somewhere in the bones of "Killing them Softly." Sadly, what finally arrives on the big screen is only mildly interesting. This Brad Pitt starring mob drama about a hitman assigned to exact revenge on minor thieves who've stolen mob money has moments that are transcendent but also feel as if they belong in a different and more interesting movie.

'Indecisive and bureaucratic'

"Killing them Softly" stars Pitt as mob hit-man Jackie. Hired by the mob in New Orleans when their regular killer, Sam Shepard in a cameo, falls ill, Jackie is a philosophical killer eager to discuss plans for murder but growing weary of a mob that has become shockingly indecisive and bureaucratic.

Writer-director Andrew Domenik spends a great deal of effort to draw parallels between the mob and the modern American government, an ineffectual, gridlocked bureaucracy incapable of taking decisive action even in the face of overwhelming evidence. Every decision is work-shopped in committee and related via functionaries' Ala Richard Jenkins' mob lawyer.

Obama, McCain and Tony Soprano

The parallels between the mob and the government are thickly brewed and ladled on quite heavy as every scene seems to be scored by scenes from the 2008 economic crisis; the film is set in 2008 amid the Obama-McCain election. That said, the parallels are darkly amusing as are Pitt's exasperated expository conversations with Jenkins.

Also good are the talk heavy scenes between Pitt and a fellow mob hitman played by 'Sopranos' star James Gandolfini. There is a fascinating "My Dinner with Andre" style movie to be made with these two killers talking about the strange twists and turns of their lives and at times "Killing them Softly" almost becomes that movie.

Not enough star-power

The weakest moments of "Killing them Softly" and the reason why the film fails to become great, are the far too many moments when Pitt is off-screen. Scoot McNary and Ben Mandelsohn play the small-time crooks that Pitt takes aim at and we spend a shocking amount of time with these characters who never earn our interest and leave viewers wondering where Brad Pitt is.

"Killing them Softly" is a fascinating failure. Pitt, Jenkins and Gandolfini are very good but when they aren't onscreen, the film becomes far less compelling.

Movie Review Rust and Bone

Rust and Bone (2012) 

Directed by Jacques Audiard 

Written by Jacques Audiard 

Starring Marion Cotillard, Matthias Schoenaerts

Release Date May 17th, 2012 

Published November 10th, 2012 

I was reading another critic's take on the foreign film entry "Rust and Bone" and was struck by the phrase 'misery porn.' I believe this same phrase has been attached to another Awards contender this season, the indie flick "Beasts of the Southern Wild." In both cases the phrase is an exaggeration, though as with most over-statement it carries an element of truth.

Both "Beasts of the Southern Wild" and "Rust and Bone" ladle on the dire circumstances of their protagonists with the thickness of heavy syrup. But, to call the portrayal of poverty in either film 'fetishistic' is to miss the point of both films. "Rust and Bone" for sure is not so much a portrait of poverty as it is a careful study of a romance between people defined by dire circumstance.

'Misery Porn'

Alain (Matthias Schoenaerts) is a lost soul only more alienated by the arrival in his life of a five year old son, Sam (Armand Verdure), thrust upon him by an absentee mother. Alain is on the run from something, though we aren't sure what. He's shifty and nervous at first glance and in the course of "Rust and Bone" we don't so much warm up to him as we come to accept who he is in the way the other characters in the film choose to.

Stephanie (Marion Cotillard) is more appealing though nearly as troubled. Our first glimpse of Stephanie comes as she picks a fight in a bar where Alain is a bouncer. She's bloodied and not terribly coherent, accepting Alain's offer of a ride home only as a taunt to a lover waiting back at her apartment.

They're both missing something

Why when Stephanie loses both her legs in an accident involving a killer whale, she's an Orca trainer when she's not picking bar fights, she chooses to call Alain is a mystery the film has no interest in clearing up. It's possible with his deep emotional wounds Stephanie see's an equivalent to her physical wounds but director Jaques Audiard is too smart to underline the connection.

To say that Alain and Stephanie begin a tentative romance is a misnomer. For Stephanie there is romance, for Alain there is just sport. Alain takes Stephanie to bed on a whim, figuring he's doing his disfigured friend a favor by showing her that her parts still function. Okay, the early sex scenes do somewhat underline Alain's missing emotional parts as what Stephanie is drawn to but not so much that it doesn't feel authentic.

Learning to love your damage

That's the thrust of "Rust and Bone," two damaged people learning to love the damage in each other. The rest of the film is filled out with the twin lures of sex and violence. The sex scenes in "Rust and Bone" are as powerful and compelling as any sex scene in 2012 and Audiard is equally unsparing in the film's violence; Alain takes to underground mixed martial arts fights as a way of making money and filling a need for self-punishment that he is incapable of explaining in words.

The further you get from "Rust and Bone" the more it resonates with you; Cotillard's beauty and despair mixes with Schoenaerts soulful brutality to create the most compelling and dark romance of the year. Both performances are award worthy as is the films elegant cinematography by Stephane Fontaine. I also loved director Audiard's use of American pop songs in unexpectedly poignant ways. Katy Perry's "Firework" is played to gloriously dramatic effect in one of the film's many powerful scenes.

"Rust and Bone" is not a movie I will likely ever watch again; it is at times quite bleak. That said, I can't help but admire the film even if I never see it again.

Movie Review Vamps

Vamps (2012) 

Directed by Amy Heckerling 

Written by Amy Heckerling 

Starring Alicia Silverstone, Krysten Ritter, Sigourney Weaver, Dan Stevens, Richard Lewis, Wallace Shawn, Justin Kirk

Release Date November 2nd, 2012 

Published November 5th, 2012 

I could watch Krysten Ritter in just about anything. As the star of ABC's under-appreciated sitcom "Don't Trust the 'B' in Apartment 23" Ritter's acerbic wit sets the series apart from other shows that wish they could be as edgy and funny. Ritter has a fearlessness that never feels like an act. It's the same fearlessness Ritter brings to her role in the modest but pleasant living dead comedy "Vamps."

Don't Trust the Vamp

Goody (Alicia Silverstone) and Stacy (Ritter) seem like any other nightlife loving New Yorkers. The only difference is that they've loved the nightlife for a great deal longer than the kids they party with. Goody and Stacy are vampires; Goody for more than 100 years and Stacy since the 90's. The same 'Stem' Vampire played with devilish wit by Sigourney Weaver turned both.

"Vamps" turns on an unexpected and inconvenient romance. Stacy falls in love with Joey (Dan Stevens), a slightly tragic circumstance because Joey happens to be Joey Van Helsing, heir to the vampire hunting legend currently held by his father, played by the brilliant Wallace Shawn. In the course of events, it is revealed that Stacy could return to human form, thus offering her the chance to be with Joey, if her stem vampire is killed.

Alicia Silverstone and Richard Lewis?

Circumstances are much more complicated for Goody. You see, if the stem vampire were killed the girls would return to their real ages. For Stacy that means her early 40's. Goody however is over 100 years old and thus will herself die. There is also a complex romance for Goody who stumbles on a former lover played by Richard Lewis with a sad tale of his own.

Don't worry fans of director Amy Heckerling, the proceedings of "Vamps" are not nearly as bleak, or dramatic as my last paragraph makes them seem. "Vamps" maintains a lighthearted tone throughout and while I won't say the film is wall to wall laughs, it is as consistently amusing as you would expect from the director of "Clueless."

Hopping the Vampire Bandwagon

Many critics have accused Heckerling of jumping the Vampire bandwagon, citing the popularity of the 'Twilight' franchise as the inspiration for "Vamps." There is an element of truth to that but "Vamps" has enough juice in it's own story to stand well apart from the glum, goofy characters of Stephanie Meyers' money train.

Heckerling may be forcefully attempting to capture the zeitgeist but she also invests in this story, in both the laughs and the difficult choices her characters have to make and the unlikely dramatic circumstances they find themselves in. Also, let's credit Heckerling with her faithfulness to classic vampire lore, unlike the shiny ones of 'Twilight,' these "Vamps" avoid sunlight.

"Vamps doesn't approach the wit or charm of Heckerling's twin teen comedy masterworks, "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" or "Clueless," but it has an ease and good humor that many modern comedies can't muster. Add to that a terrifically game cast, especially the radiant Ms. Ritter, and you have a movie more than worth a stop at the Redbox.

Movie Review Arbitrage

Arbitrage (2012) 

Directed by Nicholas Jarecki 

Written by Nicholas Jarecki 

Starring Richard Gere, Susan Sarandon, Tim Roth, Laetitia Costa, Nate Parker 

Release Date September 14th, 2012 

Published December 15th, 2012

Director's enjoy taking Richard Gere and put the screws to him. Gere's handsome visage, his easy charm makes him the perfect target for the pent up jealousies of lesser men. "American Gigolo," "Unfaithful," even something as tacky as "An Officer and a Gentleman," each turn on Gere's great looks and charm being tested by whatever a writer and director could throw at him.

Taking Gere, giving him power and money, then turning the heat up on him, and watching him squirm is part of the fun of casting Richard Gere in "Arbitrage," a thriller that teases a Bernie Madoff-esque story of corporate intrigue that turns on a "Bonfire of the Vanities," style murder plot.

In "Arbitrage" Mr. Gere stars as Richard Miller, a corporate titan who risked everything on a big bet and lost. We know that, he knows that but lucky for him, no one else knows just how bad the loss really was. Miller is about to sell a company that in reality has no assets and won't have any until it's sold.

It's a huge gamble, one big enough to spin a very compelling story of corporate intrigue. However "Arbitrage, it turns out, has other ideas in mind. Despite indicating a happy marriage and life as a happy, 60 plus year old grandfather, Miller has a secret life with a secret girlfriend (Laetitia Casta), as billionaire gamblers are wont to have.

When that girlfriend is killed in a car accident caused by his driving while sleepy, Miller initiates a cover up. The cover up, involving the son of a late friend, well-played by Nate Parker, at first seems like a distraction but quickly evolves into the focus of the film as a determined, class warrior cop (Tim Roth) makes a point of trying to nail the billionaire.

So you see, the Madoff stuff, the corporate intrigue is actually the distraction; it is the way of upping the ante and turning up the heat. We come to watch Gere squirm and writer-director Nicholas Jarecki delivers in fine fashion. Gere hasn't squirmed so entertainingly since the greatly underappreciated 2007 con-man movie "The Hoax."

"Arbitrage" is right up Gere's alley; he's handsome and successful on the surface and deviously rotting on the inside. He's the candy coating over the rotten fruit of a corporate titan. Watching him get the screws put to him is highly entertaining and waiting to see if he can wiggle his way out of it all is just as delicious.

Do you root for him to get away with it? That is very much in the eye of the beholder. One of the great things about "Arbitrage" is that it never begs sympathy nor does it try to tempt your sympathy; the film offers you the opportunity to wallow in the ugly behavior of Gere's corporate titan or judge him guilty and hope for him to be properly shamed.

The ending of "Arbitrage" somehow manages to satisfy all sides. There is a near perfect ambiguity to the ending that allows everyone to feel whatever they like about the character and the story. I won't say more in order to avoid spoilers, the film is after all something of a thriller and requires a bit of mystery to be fully enjoyed.

The bottom line is that "Arbitrage" is a highly entertaining Richard Gere movie. We get to see Gere twist and sweat and generally gutted and whether you root for the punishment or root for him to escape, you will be incredibly entertained throughout. Gere is the perfect actor onto which we can project our jealousies or our hopes.

His face brings with it privilege and based on your feelings toward the privileged you can enjoy watching him sweat or secretly root for him to skate. Few actors have ever possessed such unique qualities, the ability to suffer and deserve it and to suffer and have us root for it to end.

Movie Review Ghost Rider Spirit of Vengeance

Ghost Rider Spirit of Vengeance (2012) 

Directed by Neveldine and Taylor 

Written by Scott M. Gimple, Seth Hoffman, David S. Goyer 

Starring Nicolas Cage, Ciaran Hinds, Johnny Whitworth, Idris Elba, Christopher Lambert

Release Date February 17th, 2012

Published February 17th, 2012 

Johnny Blaze (Nicholas Cage) is back in "Ghost Rider Spirit of Vengeance 3D." Almost abandoning any relation to the 2009 blockbuster "Ghost Rider," "Ghost Rider Spirit Vengeance" re-launches the comic book hero by rehashing his deal gone wrong with devil, the nature of his curse and his quest regain his soul. All of this info is delivered in an entertaining opening cartoon sequence that launches us right into Johnny's latest adventure.

Sadly, "Spirit of Vengeance" is far too goofy and campy to sustain the momentum from the opening credits. Once Johnny is informed of his latest mission, by the oh-so helpful Moreau (Idris Elba, slumming in this sub-B-movie), Johnny is set on a quest to get his soul back by saving the life of a child who happens to be the target for Satan's (Ciaran Hinds) next form on earth.

Standing in Ghost Rider/Johnny's way is a thug named Carrigan (Johnny Whitworth) who is oddly un-phased while facing down a flame-headed, un-killable demon. Karrigan's complete lack of surprise continues even after he gets his own disturbing super-natural powers from the lord of evil. I like Johnny Whitworth, I have since his charming turn in "Empire Records" but he's really terrible as the Devil's top henchman in "Ghost Rider Spirit of Vengeance."

Nicholas Cage is unquestionably the most bizarre actor on the planet. Sure, Johnny Depp has his ticks and quirks but even Depp at his most unusual cannot match the crazy vibe emanating from Cage. In "Ghost Rider Spirit of Vengeance" Cage truly lets his freak flag fly by chewing and spitting dialogue that would make Christopher Walken blush. There are actors in Roger Corman movies who may find scenes in "Ghost Rider Spirit of Vengeance" beneath their talent.

The biggest problem that "Ghost Rider Spirit of Vengeance" has however is a lack of a sense of humor. The film is deathly serious about the goofball nuttiness it delivers and seems to expect audiences to eat what it's dishing out without question. This leads to uproarious confusion as bizarre, laugh out loud scenes arrive that the filmmakers did not intend to be laugh out loud funny.

Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor suffered from a similar lack of self-awareness in their "Crank" movies starring Jason Statham. Both of the "Crank" movies were wildly funny without ever intending to be. It's not that the directors want to deliver Oscar caliber drama but rather that they intend on their movies being gripping, thrilling, action movies and not the bizarre unintentional comedies that they are.

There is entertainment value in the strange disconnection from reality that all involved in "Ghost Rider Spirit of Vengeance" suffer from but you have to have a slightly mean sense of humor to find it. Laughing at the undoubtedly hard-working folks behind "Ghost Rider Spirit of Vengeance" is like laughing at someone who trips over their own feet; it's not intended to be funny and you shouldn't laugh but you can't help it.

As Nicholas Cage started 2011 with one of the worst movies of that year, "Season of the Witch," Cage begins 2012 with a movie just as likely to be not so fondly remembered at the end of 2012.

Movie Review Booksmart

Booksmart (2019) 

Directed by Olivia Wilde 

Written by Susanna Vogel, Katie Silberman, Sarah Haskins 

Starring Beanie Feldstein, Kaitlyn Dever, Lisa Kudrow, Will Forte

Release Date March 24th, 2019

Published March 24th, 2019

Booksmart stars Beanie Feldstein and Kaitlyn Dever, a long way from her role on Tim Allen’s Last Man Standing, as Molly and Amy, High School best friends who believe they have the whole school thing locked down. Molly and Amy have done little but focus on getting into the best colleges and owning the student government in order to make sure their college resumes were strong. The pair's plan appears to have worked as both are off to amazing schools. 

I say the plan appears to have worked but appearances can be deceiving. On the final day of the school year, Molly overhears some classmates making fun of her high achieving ways but when she tries to show them up by talking about getting into Yale, she finds that her fellow classmates have also gotten into good schools. This includes a girl Molly had dismissed as a tramp, Triple A (Molly Gordon), the name gets explained, trust me, who has also gotten into Yale. 

As Molly begins to confront other students about their school plans in the fall she finds that even her nemesis/crush, the jock football goof, Nick (Mason Gooding, Cuba Gooding’s son, FYI), has landed a scholarship to Georgetown in the fall. All of the time and effort that Molly and Amy put into getting into a good school wasn’t in vain, per se, but the realization is that they could have both achieved and still found time to enjoy themselves and party. 

Thus, with one night remaining before graduation, and Nick the jock throwing a raging party at his aunt’s house, Molly convinces Amy that they deserve one night of classic High School debauchery with drugs, drinking and bad choices. But first, they will need to find out where the party is actually taking place and find some way of getting there. This leads to a series of bizarre encounters on the way to the party. 

My absolute, unquestionable, favorite part of Booksmart is Billie Lourde, Carrie Fisher’s remarkably brilliant daughter. Lourd plays Gigi, a debauched rich girl who pals around with Jared (Skyler Gisondo), a sweet, misguided rich kid with a crush on Molly. Gigi pops up at random moments throughout Booksmart and gets a big laugh every single time. Lourd is boiling with charisma and charm and comic timing and I wanted more of her even as I recognize that any more of Gigi would ruin the magic of the character. 

A close second in the race for best supporting player in Booksmart is former Daily Show correspondent and co-host of the podcast ‘2 Dope Queens,’ Jessica Williams. Williams plays Ms. Fine, Molly and Amy’s favorite teacher. Such big fans of each other, the girls actually get their teacher’s phone number in class so they can stay in touch. Williams will re-enter the story later at the party and has a funny running gag about a student with a crush on her. Williams is brilliantly funny, never going for the easiest laugh and finding ways to twist a good joke. 

The whole of Booksmart falls under the direction of actress turned first time feature film director Olivia Wilde and what a remarkable job she has done. Taking a screenplay with four credited writers, Susanna Fogel, Emily Halpern, Sarah Haskin, and Katie Silberman, who has the ‘written by’ credit on IMDB, and shapes it with strong direction into a movie with memorable characters and big laughs. For a first time director, Wilde directs Booksmart with the confidence and competence of a veteran director. 

This is a wonderfully strong outing for someone with only a few short films on her directorial resume. Olivia Wilde has come out of the gates with a movie that demonstrates a director with a strong authorial voice. Wilde appears generous with her cast, giving them the time to find the jokes while shaping the scenes to the overall narrative. The film is notably raunchy, as the trailer indicates, but Booksmart also has a strong emotional component that plays into the ending I won’t spoil. It’s a lovely coda and one you should see and enjoy. 

I can’t believe I have gone this far without talking about the young stars of Booksmart, but here we are. Beanie Feldstein and Kaitlyn Dever are, no surprise if you’ve read this far, wonderful in Booksmart. Feldstein consistently subverts expectations and gets laughs and pathos in equal measure. Dever, playing an out of the closet teenager in authentic and achingly real fashion, has an emotional arc that is also exceptionally funny because she is naturally talented and draws the laughs out of the real. The chemistry between Feldstein and Dever is off the charts and you can’t help but adore their dynamic. 

Booksmart is one of my favorite movies of 2019. Wildly funny, smart and emotional, it’s an exceptionally strong debut feature for director Olivia Wilde. I can only imagine incredible things for Wilde’s directorial future. The raunchy humor and comparisons to Superbad may be what gets audiences in the door, but they will remember Booksmart for a terrific cast and Olivia Wilde’s smart, funny directorial choices. 

Movie Review Big Miracle

Big Miracle (2012) 

Directed by Ken Kwapis 

Written by Jack Amiel, Michael Begler

Starring Drew Barrymore, John Krasinski, Dermot Mulroney, Tim Blake Nelson, Vinessa Shaw, Ted Danson

Release Date February 3rd, 2012 

Published February 4th, 2012

Movies released in the first two months of any year tend to stink. It's not a rule and this fact is certainly not based on an intention to release bad movies; it's a function of Hollywood studios seeking a time of light movie-going during which to off-load a troubled project that does not hold the potential to battle the box office behemoths of the Spring, Summer and Winter seasons.

This fact makes a movie like "Big Miracle" all the more welcome. This delightful story, based on real life events, is thoughtful, sweet, harrowing and, in the end, uplifting; a very rare combination at this oft-neglected time of the movie-going year.

Based on a true story

Drew Barrymore stars in "Big Miracle" as Rachel Kramer a Greenpeace activist who, when we meet her, is living in Alaska and battling a big oil company, headed by J.W McGraw (Ted Danson), over drilling in the Arctic Wildlife Preserve. When Rachel hears the story of a trio of whales trapped off the coast of an Alaskan whaling village she begins an extraordinary campaign to free the trapped creatures that becomes an international cause.

The reporter who uncovers the whale story happens to be Rachel's ex-boyfriend Adam (John Krasinski). Yes, this fact is a plot convenience but get over it; Barrymore and Krasinski have good banter and romantic chemistry and that brings another layer of joy to "Big Miracle." Also adding to the joy of this terrific, heartfelt little movie is young Ahmaogak Sweeney who plays Nathan, a native of the village; grandson of a local whaling captain, and our narrator.

A colorful and clever supporting cast

There are minor missteps in "Big Miracle" like the casting of Kristen Bell and John Michael Higgins as heartless reporters chasing the whale story for ratings, but for the most part the film is spot on. The majority of the supporting cast is populated by colorful characters like Rob Riggle and James Le Gros as a pair of brothers from Minnesota who's de-icing machine for ice fisherman becomes a key component in keeping the breathing holes open for the whales.

Director Ken Kwapis is a veteran storyteller from TV's "The Office" and the big screen teen adventure "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants." Kwapis has a real knack for combining heart and humor without seeming cloying or manipulative. In "Big Miracle" he takes a real life story and invests it with relatable warmth and a cast that earns our sympathy from the opening frame.

Smiling, laughing and Cheering

"Big Miracle" may be the big surprise of the early portion of 2012. This sweet family-friendly does have moments that will be hard for young children to watch but by the end the whole family will be smiling, laughing and cheering.

Movie Review Shame

Shame (2011) 

Directed by Steve McQueen

Written by Steve McQueen, Abi Morgan 

Starring Michael Fassbender, Carey Mulligan

Release Date December 2nd, 2011

Published November 28th, 2011 

In my role as a film critic and member of the Broadcast Film Critics, I am grateful for the opportunity to receive what the industry calls "screeners" of movies that studios want me to consider for our end of the year awards show The Critic's Choice Movie Awards on VH1. It was in this capacity that I was able to see and review the much buzzed about indie movie "Shame," starring Michael Fassbender and Carey Mulligan.

"Shame" is the story of an extremely self-involved man and his addiction to porn. Directed by indie darling Steve McQueen and starring rising star Fassbender, "Shame" is a character portrait about a character you're not all that interested in spending time with.

A Severe Addiction to Pornography

Brandon (Fassbender) is a handsome guy who tends to hold people's gazes a little longer than he should. Yes, he's good looking but he has a creepiness in his eyes that has likely contributed to his still being single in his 30s. Well, that and his rather severe addiction to pornography.

So severe is Brandon's addiction to online pornography that one day he arrives at work and his computer is gone, taken after IT found a massive store of porn and viruses in it. Thankfully, Brandon's boss and friend David (James Badge Dale) is convinced that the porn was the work of an intern, not Brandon.

Sister Act

Brandon's less than covert addiction to porn runs into a major obstacle when his sister Sissy (Carey Mulligan) shows up in his apartment unexpectedly. Sissy is a failed singer who subsists on occasional gigs singing in bars and restaurants. For the most part she sponges off of the men in her life, especially her brother. With Sissy sleeping on his couch and seemingly living in every corner of his life, Brandon's secret addiction is precariously balanced and his "shame" stands to be exposed at any moment to the last significant person in his life.

"Shame"-Less

Fassbender's performance in "Shame" is admirably brave given how often the actor is called on to be nude onscreen. Credit Fassbender for not having so much "shame" when it came to showing all onscreen. That said, there isn't much about Brandon I wanted to see.

Brandon is a bad guy; he's a jerk to his sister, the one person who honestly cares about him. He's allowed his porn addiction to become so severe that actual intimacy with a real person is physically impossible; though emotion-free, bought and paid for hook-ups with prostitutes still get his engine revved.

A Childlike Vulnerability

I get that Brandon is supposed to be a tragic figure but it is Sissy who, for me, was the more interesting tragedy. Carey Mulligan has a face that earns your sympathy with little effort. Her soft, dewy eyes and puffy cheeks give Mulligan a childlike quality that is addictively sympathetic. It's Mulligan's childlike vulnerability that gives her brief nudity more power than Fassbender's frequent nakedness.

Get Away, Creep!

"Shame" is supposed to pack an emotional wallop but I found most of it emotionally inert. Brandon never becomes sympathetic, merely sad and pathetic. I did pity Brandon but, more than anything, I just wanted to get away from him before his next bit of active creepiness. 

"Shame" opens in limited release on Friday, December 2, and will expand as far as its NC-17 rating will allow as the awards season continues.