Movie Review: The Stepfather

The Stepfather (2009) 

Directed by Nelson McCormick 

Written by J. S Cardone

Starring Dylan Walsh, Sela Ward, Penn Badgley, Amber Heard, Jon Tenney 

Release Date October 16th, 2009 

Published October 17th, 2009

Must we suffer more unnecessary remakes? Ugh. With a paucity of original ideas Hollywood has been mining its history, good and bad, for movies to revamp, re-imagine and re-engineer in hopes of shaking loose a few dollars from a mass audience that likely wasn't alive or aware whent the original movie was created.

The latest case in point is The Stepfather, a remake of an exceptionally lame horror thriller about a shady creep who murders the families that take him in as a step-daddy. The 1988 movie, at the very least, had the kink of an previously unexplored premise, step-dad as psycho killer. The new film is but a shadow reflecting the ultimate lameness of the original, minus the kink.

Penn Badgely, the hard bodied star of the CW Network's Gossip Girl takes the good guy role in The Stepfather as wayward black sheep Michael. Having just returned from military school for some unseen acting out, Michael finds his family has changed. Where once his father was is now David Harris (Dylan Walsh).

David hooked up with Michael's mom Susan (Sela Ward) one day in the grocery store. Their courtship was so quick that Michael wasn't gone a semester before wedding plans began. Not that Michael cared where his father went, Jay Harding (Jon Tenney) was a cheater and given the boot about the time Michael was sent to military school.

David is, at first, an exceptionally corny and overly welcoming presence in the house. However, once Michael and other begin to probe about his past David goes from cornball to creep. Soon bodies begin to pile up and Michael has to find some way to stop the psycho from making his family the latest in a series of family victims.

As loathsome as The Stepfather is there is some terrifically off-beat work by “Nip Tuck” actor Dylan Walsh. The ways in which he forces David's normalcy on others is at once tense and humorous. His secret glowering and tics become something of a dark, inside joke between him and the audience.

Sadly, little else in The Stepfather captures that off-beat spirit. Director Nelson McCormick hues closely to the formula right down to the inevitable rain soaked battle for survival between the besieged family and the family psycho-path. The ending is typical horror kitsch right down to the knowing wink.

The Stepfather is as dopey as you would expect. You really had no reason to see the 1988 original. There is less reason to see this unremarkable remake.

Movie Review: The Weather Man

The Weather Man (2005) 

Directed by Gore Verbinski 

Written by Steve Conrad 

Starring Nicolas Cage, Michael Caine, Hope Davis, Michael Rispoli 

Release Date October 28th, 2005 

Published October 28th, 2005 

It is only very recently that I have become a big Nicolas Cage fan. I loved his Oscar winning work in Leaving Las Vegas but his subsequent descent into action stardom was marred by some seriously awful work in Con Air, The Rock, 8mm and Gone In 60 Seconds. He won me back a little with his extraordinary work in Scorsese's Bringing Out The Dead but that was almost forgotten in the midst of Cage's weepy period with City of Angels, Family Man and Captain Corelli's Mandolin.

Right now, however, Cage has hit a stride that is remarkable. Pushing aside the subpar blockbuster National Treasure, Cage's run of Adaptation, Matchstick Men, Lord of War and now The Weather Man is one of the greatest series of performances by one actor in movie history. Forget the bad box office, when Cage is teamed with great people and great material there may not be a better actor working today.

Dave Spritz (Nicolas Cage) is Chicago's number one weather man. His 'Spritz nipper' has fans across the windy city stopping him on the street to ask him which will be the chilliest day of the week. Of course not everyone is a fan of Dave's. On more than one occasion Dave has found himself on the wrong side of some flying food items including a shake, a box of McNuggets, even a burrito.

Dave attributes the food throwing to the fact that he is paid a lot of money to do a job that is not that difficult. He is paid high six figures plus appearance fees, works two hours a day and did not even have to get a degree in meteorology. The food items are essentially karmic payback for a way too easy path through life, and, more to the point, a reaction to how often Dave simply gets it wrong weatherwise.

Dave is a serious case of arrested development. He has never really accomplished anything. His father, Robert (Michael Caine), on the other hand, is a Pulitzer prize winning novelist and a wonderful father to boot despite the fact that his son is a very obvious disappointment. Dave also wrote a novel although, like most everything else in his life, he never followed through with it.

Most disappointing about Dave is his family situation. Dave is divorced from his wife, Noreen (Hope Davis), and cannot seem to connect with his two children, sixteen year-old Mike (Nicholas Hoult) and eleven year-old daugter Shelly (Gemmenne de la Pena). Mike has recently been busted for smoking pot and Shelly has taken up cigarrettes. 

Dave is convinced he can turn the whole thing around with a new job on a national morning television show in New York. He had better act quickly, however, because his father is dying and his wife is preparing to marry another man. His kids' problems are even more disturbing but best left to your discovery in watching the movie.

If Dave Spritz's life sounds depressing, well that's because it really is depressing. The Weather Man, directed by Gore Verbinski, makes no pretense about the level of sadness in its story. Dave is a pathetic character, a wretched failure as a husband and father and a son. He is a narcissus cloaked in his own misery. Still, as played by Cage, Dave Spritz is fascinating to watch.

Cage's chameleonesque ability to melt into his characters is perfectly on display in The Weather Man. Even minor touches like his ease in front of a green screen doing the weather are really convincing. His near meltdowns are a tour de force of wonderfully acted inner turmoil. Dave's plastic surface seems ready to melt from the heat of his inner conflict and that is Nicolas Cage at his absolute best.

Gore Verbinski intrigues me. While I found both Mousehunt and The Mexican to be underwhelming, The Ring was visually accomplished and Pirates of The Carribean showed the potential of a mainstream movie to exceed the limitations of its genre and be both entertaining and artistically crafted.

The Weather Man is yet another step forward in Gore Verbinski's evolution into maybe becoming a very rare kind of director, a mainstream 'auteur'. Watch the way in which his camera observes Dave without engaging him. The audience, like rubberneckers at a crash site, seem to watch Dave's sad life unfold in a slow motion drive by and we cannot turn away. Here's hoping Verbinski does not get too caught up in the Pirates sequels and forgets to make more films as engrossing as The Weather Man.

The film's trailer might give people the impression that The Weather Man is a drama with comedy. There are laughs in the film but they come from a very dark place. They come from failure, humiliation and pain, and the sorrowful ways that Cage's character deals with what happens to him and around him. Dave Spritz is a sad sack character who invites indignity and cannot seem to escape it.

So if the film is as dark as I describe, it begs the question; why did I like it so much? Because it sets out to create a portrait of a particular character and no matter how dark things get the film stays true to that character and tells his story in a most compelling fashion. I liked it because Nicolas Cage is so amazing, to simplify things.

Cage deserves an Oscar nomination for his extraordinary work in The Weather Man. That, however, does not mean that the film is typically entertaining. Some people will have to change the way they look at movies to find pleasure in this film. The movie is challengingly dark and uncompromising in its grim gray look and attitude.

For fans of complicated, interesting movies that ask you to invest yourself heavily in one character The Weather Man is what you are looking for. For the average moviegoer this may not be your cup of tea. The Weather Man is not an easy film to like but, if you are up for it, you will be rewarded with yet another performance by Nicolas Cage that establishes him as arguably the most uniquely talented actor working today.

Movie Review The Girlfriend Experience

The Girlfriend Experience (2009) 

Directed by Steven Soderbergh

Written by Brian Koppelman, David Levien 

Starring Sasha Grey, Chris Santos, Glenn Kenny 

Release Date May 22nd, 2009 

Published July 15th, 2009 

For some directors prolific means 2 films in 3 years. For Steven Soderbergh 2 films in one year is par for the course. In 2009 he knocked out The Girlfriend Experience and The Informant! in under 9 months time. Not merely prolific however is Mr. Soderbergh. Both films are absolutely brilliant.

Real life adult film star Sascha Grey stars in The Girlfriend Experience as Chelsea or is she Christine? She is a high class hooker who for a couple thousand dollars does not merely sleep with a client but gives them the experience of having a girlfriend, minus the inherent ups and downs.

Christine/Chelsea has a boyfriend, Chris (Chris Santos) who rather than living a lie with her is fully aware of what she does. He's not exactly cool with it but has accepted a life with some very unique boundaries. They talk like a normal couple, even bitching about their work lives.

Then Christine meets David (David Levien). He's a screenwriter but, more important to Christine/Chelsea, he has an astrological sign that lines up with hers. As they chat and talk turns to getting together they bond and Christine/Chelsea seems like she may be crossing the line between her business and her real life.

That is the linear plot that I drew out of the film. Director Soderbergh however keeps us off balance by mixing the timeline and not telling us he's doing it. No cards, no dates, just a few verbal clues here and there to let us know where and when we are in the story. The approach is hypnotic and engaging.

Sascha Grey is a fascinating actress who, with the freedom of Soderbergh's improv style, brings a real, flesh and blood freshness to a character that in the hands of a more trained actress might become a more noticeable performance. She has a hard one comfort on screen that comes from her unique background.

Soderbergh's use of Digital Photography is head and shoulders beyond any other director. Too often Digital becomes shaky and unwatchable. In other films it becomes a device that sticks out. With Soderbergh the camera melts away and you feel as if you are in the room having these experiences. A fly on the wall or as a ghost in the room.

The Girlfriend Experience is a revelation. Combined with the wildly different The Informant! it announces Soderbergh as arguably the auteur of this time. His work rate combined with his artistry is like nothing we've seen before.

Movie Review: Undiscovered

Undiscovered (2005) 

Directed by Meiert Avis 

Written by John Galt 

Starring Pell James, Steven Strait, Kip Pardue, Shannyn Sossamon, Carrie Fisher

Release Date August 25th, 2005 

Published August 26th, 2005 

I have a theory about this ridiculous slump business at the box office. It is not merely that Hollywood is not making films that people want to see. Rather it is Hollywood releasing films so unwatchable that they poison the theaters that show them with a toxin that drives audiences to their homes in fear of ever returning to a movie theater.

Consider the evidence; Are We There Yet?, The Pacifier, Deuce Bigelow 2. Just typing those titles raised the bile from my stomach. Now in theaters is a film that is far worse than any of the films I mentioned. An abysmal teen rock romance called Undiscovered that should have remained Un-released.

Steven Strait's earnest pronouncements of love and heartbreak are so pathetic that realistically he would be more inclined toward a restraining order than for true love. The one-two punch of Mr. Strait's uninspired delivery and the script's stultifying dialogue is just brutal. I am told that  Strait performed all of his own music in the film and given our current music culture, his music will fit in nicely next to all of the atrocious examples of mainstream pop rock that overflows from most top 40 radio stations.

A music critic friend told me recently that modern rockers have started to go away from writing complex lyrics. Supposedly they want the focus on musicianship, but as the recent MTV Video Music Awards show, it's about projecting rock star image more than having anything to genuinely do with music. By that standard Mr. Strait, a former model, should fit right in. How unfortunate, however, that as his character is written, he's supposed to be a great songwriter. Yeah... not quite.

For her part Ms. James is-- cute. That is honestly the kindest thing I can say about her performance.  James may actually be the victim of having to carry Mr. Strait's D.O.A performance. As the more experienced of the pair she carries most of the dramatic weight, were that there was any to carry in such an airheaded film. Pell James is also saddled with carrying the supporting performance of pop star Ashlee Simpson who at the very least is more interesting to watch than our main character.

Steven Strait stars in Undiscovered as, I kid you not, Luke Falcon. Luke is a wannabe rocker on his way to L.A to make it to the big time. As he is getting off the subway with his brother Euan (Kip Pardue), on his last day in New York City, Luke has a cute encounter with Breier (Pell James). He drops his glove on the train and instead of retrieving it he tossed Breier the other glove just before the train doors closed. Remarking that he met the girl of his dreams on his last day in the city, Luke hops his flight for Los Angeles. What are the odds that Breier will soon be there as well?  It's no long shot, I assure you.

Breier is a model with dreams of becoming an actress, a confession she makes to her modeling agent played by the desperately slumming Carrie Fisher. Soon Breier is off to LA and the cutthroat world of "model slash actresses". It is through her acting class that she meets Clea (Ashlee Simpson) who happens to know Luke (He lets her sing with him at a dive bar). Luke and Breier meet cute once again but Breier cannot hook up as she has a rock star boyfriend who she knows is a cheating, lying bastard.... but she loves him. Ahh true love.

Luke and Breier stay friends and eventually she and Clea help Luke get a following at the club and the attention of a slimy record exec played by the oily Fisher Stevens. Soon Luke has his own model girlfriend played by Shannyn Sossamon, but the life of a rock star is too much for the earnest Luke who longs for the solitude of the songwriter.

No points for guessing that despite all of these roadblocks, Breier and Luke are meant for each other. This is, afterall, a teen romance. What is shocking, though, is how woefully inept the film is even from the limited expectations of its genre. Strait and James are embarrassingly hard to watch as they fumble the film's central romance like teenagers in a first time groping session.

The regrettable script, credited to first time writer John Galt is a meandering, overlong mess of typical romantic roadblocks and dialogue that would make the kids on TV's "One Tree Hill" roll their eyes. If you can somehow fight your way through the longest 93 minutes of your filmgoing life you will see the film end with the kind of Deus Ex Machina that even the lamest of screenwriting books make fun of. The ending involves a cameo by former RoboCop star Peter Weller that sounds as if he were channeling Christopher Walken, only a far less entertaining version of the man.

How serious was Lions Gate about making a real hit movie out of Undiscovered? The producers actually rewrote the picture and retitled the film for a pop song by Ms. Simpson that is naturally on the film's soundtrack. Ms. Simpson's father is credited as a producer on the film and there are two scenes with Simpson onstage that seem to stretch into eternity.

Much of the film is in fact filled out by musical performances from Strait and Simpson. Cut back on the music and Undiscovered might clock in closer to 70 minutes. That is still way too long, though, believe me. The fact is that Undiscovered is the kind of film that usually goes directly to video stores and yet somehow ended up on the big screen as a ninety three minute commercial for its abysmal soundtrack. For anyone who thought Lions Gate's template for success was Miramax, well it's actually something closer to MTV Films.

In what is clearly one of the worst years for cinema in recent history in term of film quality, the box office is doing just fine despite the slump talk.  Undiscovered ranks right near the top of the list of the worst films of the year. As Mr. Ebert famously said in the title of his book about bad movies, I hated, hated, hated, hated, hated, hated, this movie.

Movie Review Hunter Killer

Hunter Killer (2018) 

Directed by Donovan Marsh

Written by Arne Schmidt, Jamie Moss

Starring Gerard Butler, Gary Oldman, Common, Linda Cardellini, Toby Stephens 

Release Date October 26th, 2018

Published October 26th, 2018

Hunter Killer stars Gerard Butler as submarine commander Joe Glass. Glass has just been handed his very first command, aboard the USS Arkansas at a most inopportune moment. It is Joe’s task to take his hunter killer class sub crew into heavily guarded Russian territory and find out what happened to another hunter killer class sub which was sunk in the area, assumedly by a Russian sub that was also downed in the fight. 

What Joe and his crew find is something quite unexpected, both subs appear to have been attacked not by each other but by a third sub which subsequently begins attacking Joe’s sub. The Arkansas survives this encounter but having just sent another Russian sub to the bottom of the ocean, the international incident they were investigating may be exploding into World War 3 unless Joe can quickly figure out why this Russian sub has gone rogue. 

Meanwhile, back in Washington D.C, the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Charles Donnegan (Gary Oldman) has tasked Rear Admiral John Fisk with sending a team of Green Berets into Russian territory so they can get close to where the Russian President Zakarin (Alexander Diachenko) and his top military secretary, Admiral Durov (Michael Gor) are holed up near where the subs have been downed. 

What the Green Berets, led by Bill Beaman (Toby Stephens) , find is that there is a coup in process, the Russian President is the hostage of his top military secretary and the secretary is bent on starting World War 3. Now three arms of the American military, along with an advisor from the NSA (Linda Cardellini) must work together to come up with a plan to rescue the Russian President and avert World War 3. 

I must admit, that sounds like a pretty great description of a first person shooter video game. Sadly, Hunter Killer is a movie and thus not nearly as much fun. Hunter Killer is the latest in a long line of lunkheaded military rehashes from Millennium Entertainment, the group that rescued Gerard Butler from the Hollywood ash heap and given him a second act as the purest example of lunkheaded, ill-conceived 80’s action movies, the new millennium Michael Dudikoff. 

For those not among the 10 people who got that Michael Dudikoff reference, Dudikoff was the bargain action hero of Cannon Films, the group behind such glorious 80’s cheese as American Ninja, Avenging Force and the Missing in Action Franchise. Those examples should give you a good idea of the quality of Hunter Killer, we’re not talking high end action here, we’re talking about the kind of slapdash trash that used to go directly to drive-ins and eventually, directly to VHS. 

Hunter Killer is supremely dumb and not in a fun way. Rather, Hunter Killer is dumb in the most boringly competent ways imaginable. Hunter Killer was directed by a newcomer named Donovan Marsh who is just inexperienced enough and just talented enough to miss the point of the movie he’s making. He doesn’t appear to understand that Hunter Killer is cheesy and thus he commits to the idea with all his talent, not realizing that everyone in the cast knows they’re working on something cheap and disposable. They know the company they’re working for. 

Butler and Oldman have worked with Millennium Entertainment for years. Butler is there because Millennium was the only company willing to touch him after his toxic run of bombs from 2008 to 2011 that culminated with him playing a leprechaun in an almost career endingly bad segment of Movie 43. Oldman worked with Millennium because his name was just big enough to work on the box cover of a direct to DVD crime movie and their checks weren’t bouncing. 

No surprise to learn that Hunter Killer was on the shelf for a while before Oldman re-established himself among the Hollywood elite with his Academy Award winning performance in Darkest Hour. Hunter Killer is the kind of movie that if it had come out around Oscar time last year it might have cost him Best Actor just as many speculated that Norbit cast Eddie Murphy Best Supporting Actor by arriving around the time he was nominated for Dreamgirls. 

We know Hunter Killer has been moldering on the shelf for a while because one of the supporting actors, Michael Nyqvist died more than 18 months ago. It’s tragic that a fine, under-recognized pro like Nyqvist has Hunter Killer as the last thing on his resume but at least he was gone before the world had seen what a terrible film he’d closed his fine career with. Here’s hoping he was well compensated. 

I realize that some people enjoy this stinky cheese of a movie but it’s definitely not for me. Butler is his usually dopey self, swaggering about spitting nonsense dialogue in his god-awful American accent. He doesn’t appear to care that he’s not acting but caricaturing American swagger in the most unfunny way possible. It’s hard to know if I pity Butler for his complete lack of talent or if I am meant to laugh at his dimwitted burlesque attempt at bringing back the 80’s action movie. 

Hunter Killer is bad in a most bland and peculiar fashion. It’s not shot poorly, it’s inoffensive in that the jingoism is tempered by having so many foreigners lead the cast of this American action movie, Butler, Oldman, and Toby Stephens, are not Americans and appear to have no interest in selling America f*** Yeah attitude that a true 80’s action movie would. Had this film actually starred Michael Dudikoff it would have ended with him planting an American flag in the heart of the dead foreign secretary while American jets flew overhead dropping tiny American flags. 

I guess, in that sense, we can consider Hunter Killer restrained. Not any good, but restrained. Unfortunately that restraint keeps the movie too tasteful to be bad in a fun way. Instead, the film is bad for being deathly dull, populated by bored actors either over-performing or under-performing masculine military cliches and spouting nonsense jargon that sounds cool but comes off like boys playing with toys and not serious-minded military adults. 

Movie Review The Exorcism of Emily Rose

The Exorcism of Emily Rose (2005)

Directed by Scott Derrickson 

Written by Scott Derrickson, Paul Harris Boardman 

Starring Laura Linney, Tom Wilkinson, Campbell Scott, Colm Feore, Jennifer Carpenter

Release Date September 9th, 2005 

Published September 10th, 2005

The saying 'based on a true story' is an oft abused term in Hollywood. Case in point the new horror film/courtroom drama The Exorcism Of Emily Rose. The film is based on a true story however the story told in the film is not the true story. The film's creators, however, include a title card that claims the story is true. But the story told in the movie only vaguely resembles the true story that was its inspiration. Make sense?

Not much of this cross breed of TV's "Law & Order '' and the horror classic The Exorcist makes sense anyway so it's fitting that its origins should be so muddled. A shame though because with such a terrific cast The Exorcism of Emily Rose had the potential to be very good.

Oscar nominee Tom Wilkinson stars in Exorcism as Father Thomas Moore. Father Moore is on trial for the negligent homicide of a nineteen year old college student Emily Rose (Jennifer Carpenter), one of his parishioners. The story of how Emily came to be in Father Moore's care is part of an elaborate series of events that leads to one extraordinary trial.

Laura Linney is Erin Bruner, Father Moore's lawyer. An agnostic, Erin is on the lookout for a promotion at her big money law firm and takes on Father Moore's case with the hopes of a partnership. Erin is coming off another high profile case where she got a guy everyone thought was guilty off on a charge of murder. Now struggling with her conscience she finds herself defending Father Moore from charges that he allowed Emily Rose to die while he was in charge of her well being.

So how did Emily Rose die? There are two competing theories in the film. The first and most logical and rational is that Emily developed epilepsy that led to psychosis that caused her to have nightmarish visions and episodes of extreme behavior that included self-mutilation and violence towards her family and friends. Emily stopped eating and eventually starved to death.

However, according to Father Moore, Emily was not sick. Rather Emily was suffering from demonic possession. Satan and various other demons entered Emily's body, fought off the Father's attempt to exercise them and prevented Emily from eating. Campbell Scott plays the prosecuting attorney, Ethan Thomas who quickly makes a farce of the defense's case with simple logical questions and scientific medical testimony.

The trial aspect of Emily Rose is the film's biggest problem. The script saddles the beleaguered Laura Linney with a defense that is so patently ridiculous that she never had a chance of winning any audience member with an ounce of critical thinking ability. I don't want to give away what the defense is, one of the joys of the film is the derisive laugh one has at the expense of the poor lawyer who might think it could work. I will say that it would not have lasted two minutes on an episode of "Perry Mason" or even the light headed "L.A Law".

Campbell Scott as the prosecutor is terrific at presenting his side not merely with a dismissive cast of his eyes skyward while the defense presents its case, though that might have been all it would take to win over the audience. No, Scott also brings eloquence and cold hard reason to the role and looks very much like a real prosecutor. There is a moment during one of the defense witness testimonies where the prosecutor objects to a question and when asked what his objection is he replies "Oh I don't know, silliness", as if he were speaking for the audience.

For her part Laura Linney, one of my all time favorite actresses, can do very little with a role so poorly conceived. Given the defense as it is written in the script has absolutely no hope of convincing anyone and Linney is left to present it with as much dignity as possible and in that respect she made it work. She never allows herself to look as foolish as the script might make her seem.

The script is written by Paul Harris Boardman and director Scott Derrickson and is fascinating for how inept the courtroom scenes are and for how effective the flashbacks to the exorcism are. In the execution of the horror part of the film, Derrickson's direction is very strong as are the characters of Father Moore and Emily.

It's like watching two different movies at once.

The flashbacks to Emily in college where her strange visions and behavior begins are surprisingly strong. Never merely imitating The Exorcist, Director Scott Derrickson shows a great flair and style and brings some old school scares to this otherwise dreary flick. A scene late in the film set inside a barn in a heavy rainstorm is very effective in building tension, and is followed by another effective scene, a dream sequence, in which Emily is visited by the Virgin Mary.

Scenes of faces melting into demonic menace, black cloaked demons and  blood dripping walls are all used to very cool effect and show that Derrickson knows how to direct a good horror movie. But when the scene shifts to the courtroom the film becomes laughable. The worst part is that there were many feasible opportunities to fix this aspect of the film with some simple courtroom logic. Any first year law student could have made a very strong case in Father Moore's favor. Instead the script opts for a defense that no one in their right mind would buy.

The courtroom drama is farce as are the non-flashback scenes outside the court as when Father Moore advises Erin to 'beware of the dark forces surrounding the case'.  Oooh scary. There is also a supremely lame bit where Erin, like Emily and like Father Moore, continuously wakes up at 3:00 AM. This same clock bit was lame when it was used in the remake of Amityville Horror this past spring and in the Bob De Niro flick Hide and Seek back in January.

The film is based on a true story. In Germany in the late sixties a teenage girl became violently, mentally ill. Rather than treat her medically, which would have meant commitment to a mental hospital, the girl's family turned her over to the church which received permission from the Vatican to perform an exorcism. The girl died from starvation and the priests involved and the girl's parents were all tried for manslaughter.

That is a great basis for drama and horror and a logical examination of faith and the limits of science, something I'm sure The Exorcism Of Emily Rose was striving to convey. However, in executing this idea something was lost in the translation. We have half of a good movie and half of a ludicrous episode of Ally McBeal, only with fewer intentional laughs.

Movie Review I Am Number 4

I Am Number 4 (2011) 

Directed by D.J Caruso

Written by Alfred Gough, Miles Millar, Marti Noxon 

Starring Alex Pettyfer, Timothy Olyphant, Teresa Palmer, Dianna Agron, Kevin Durand

Release Date February 18th, 2011

Published February 18th, 2011

If the half baked Twilight novels can ride teenage Vampires and Chastity to box office bonanza why can't a half baked story about teenage aliens and chastity do the same. That is the unspoken origin story of “I Am Number 4” a supremely lame attempt to clone the success of “Twilight” by trading angsty vamps for angsty aliens.

Number 4 (Alex Pettyfer), alternately referred to as Daniel or John looks like any other handsome teenager but that Number 4 designation kind of tips off the fact that there is more to him than meets the eye. Number 4 is an alien being from the planet Lorian. He is hiding on earth with his warrior bodyguard, Henri (Timothy Olyphant), while he waits for his powers, known to his people as Legacies, to be revealed.

Meanwhile, his numbered brethren are being hunted down by the evil Mogadorians who destroyed Lorien. The Mogadorians have killed 1,2,3 and are now on the trail of Number 4. After nearly revealing himself as an alien living in Florida, Number 4 and Henri move to Paradise, Ohio where Henri hopes to find a human with important information.

In Paradise Number 4 becomes John and begins attending High School because the plot needs him to. At school John meets and falls in love with Sarah Hart (Dianna Agron, Glee). He also by chance befriends Sam (Callan McAullife), the son of the man Henri came to Paradise to find. What luck that Sam has what Henri needs, a rock containing a link between the remaining numbered Lorians.

You don't have to be a psychic to know that I Am Number 4 is building toward a showdown between Number 4 and Mogadorians and that he will likely win this showdown as many sequels ride on his 
winning. Director D.J Caruso brings a modest amount of skill to keeping us distracted from the inevitability of this plot but the material is too weak to keep all the seams from showing.

”I Am Number 4” is a naked cash grab; a supremely lame attempt to lure in “Twilight” fans for a new, easily sequelized, franchise built on iconic genre creatures, aliens instead of Vampires, and great looking actors who do little else than look good. Not to demean young star Alex Pettyfer too much. Pettyfer is a really handsome kid hamstrung by a part that doesn't offer him any challenge.

Pettyfer along with Glee star Dianna Agron and Teresa Palmer, who plays yet another numbered Lorian, Number 6 for those who care, are all great looking and if that were all it took to make a movie work they would have a real hit on their hands. Those of us however, who go to movies for more than just the ogling of pretty people will find “I Am Number 4” lacking.

”I Am Number 4” was the brainchild of legendary liar and literary fraud James Frey who has found another money making scam, young adult fiction. Under the odd pseudonym 'Pittacus Lore' he and co-writer Jobie Hughes have demonstrated just how easy Twilight has made it for hacks to crack the book biz these days. 

Take a legendary genre character, in this case aliens, throw them in a high school setting. Give them bullies and bad guys; teen angst and a little chaste romance and cook for 30 minutes. Bang! You've got a young adult bestseller just aching for a Hollywood adaptation. 

The cynicism pours from every scripted word of “I Am Number 4” and while I don't blame the young actors involved, everyone else in this production should be (but are not) ashamed of this movie. It's our fault for giving them such an easy in, it was our culture that allowed “Twilight” to thrive. As long as we don't ask for more than just pretty, stupid movies then “I Am Number 4” is what Hollywood is going to give us.

Movie Review: Zola

Zola (2021) 

Directed by Janicza Bravo 

Written by Janicza Bravo, Jeremy Harris

Starring Taylour Paige, Colman Domingo, Riley Keough, Nicholas Braun

Release Date June 30th, 2021 

Published August 21st, 2022 

Zola is a breath of fresh air in modern cinema. Based on a larger than life story from a Twitter thread, of all places, Zola tells a story of modern sexuality, female friendship, empowerment, and the American sexual marketplace in a suitably surreal fashion. The film was adapted and directed by Janicza Bravo, an exciting new filmmaker whose candy colored visuals are a lovely comment on the dark, almost neo-noir story she’s telling. 

Zola stars newcomer Taylour Paige as Zola, a waitress and part time exotic dancer, who meets and falls in lust with Stefani (Riley Keough), a customer at the Hooters style restaurant where Zola works. Whether or not the attraction between Zola and Stefani is sexual in nature is up to your imagination, however the film keeps the nature of that fluid in a manner that recognizes how so much of millennial culture is based on sexual fluidity. 

The surreally captured scene of Zola and Stefani vibing with each other crackles with tension and excitement and is a terrific set up for the story about to be told. Zola and Stefani exchange phone numbers and text messages and soon enough, Stefani invites Zola for a weekend of getting paid easy money, touring strip clubs in Florida. Stefani claims that she has a hook up who can get them stage time at a series of popular clubs for good money and Zola is eager for the money. 

Things, naturally, take a turn once the trip actually begins. Stefani has invited her boyfriend, a dupe named Derrek (Nicholas Braun), who is certainty in love with Stefani and blind to how Stefani truly feels about him. Also joining in on this journey is a man Stefani calls her ‘roommate,’ Zola has no idea what his name is. The roommate is played by Colman Domingo and he immediately gives off the impression that he is a bad dude. 

Zola is right to be suspicious as soon after they arrive at their cockroach infested Florida motel, the Roommate takes them to the club and leaves poor Derrek behind. He then books a separate room at a much nicer hotel and when the girls are done stripping, they are shown to this room where the real purpose of this so-called ‘ho trip’ is revealed. Zola must find a way to fend for herself while also looking out for Stefani, even if it is all Stefani’s fault that Zola is in this mess. 

The real A’ziah ‘Zola’ King was made to be a social media star. With her natural wit and charisma, it’s no surprise that her 2015 Twitter thread about this ‘ho trip’ to Florida became an immediate sensation. King captures the way young people talk in frank and uncompromising terms. She’s fully self-possessed and brilliantly detailed in her storytelling and that Janicza Bravo captures that unique, brash, and fresh voice so perfectly is what makes Zola the movie so remarkable. 

The movie makes sex work look borderline mundane and yet dangerous all at once. As Zola navigates this bizarre trip, taking mental Twitter notes the whole way, she is both a figure of motherly concern for Stefani and a very pissed off co-worker. Taylour Paige embodies the bizarre dynamic of Zola beautifully as her attitude tells us more than any dialogue ever could. Her suspicion of Stefani and her ‘roommate,’ her being completely over the whole sex work dynamic that Stefani has brought upon the trip, and her strong sense of self-protection and wit, are a refreshing way to experience a character. 

You might suspect a movie based on a Twitter feed would be thin and not particularly artful but you would be assuming wrong about Zola. Zola is brimming with wit and invention. It’s a frank and bitter dark comedy and simply a well told story from beginning to end. The characters are fascinating and the performances are uniformly brilliant, each bringing a different and electric energy to the movie. Taylour Paige is a revelation as Zola, a rare fully formed female character on the big screen. For such a young actress to be this assured and charismatic is a true wonder to watch. 

Then there is director Janicza Bravo whose work is the equal of her young star. Bravo has complete mastery of her aesthetic and a remarkably well placed confidence in her actors. Zola is an exceptional announcement of a new directorial talent. Based on this confident, smart, exciting movie you can't help but be excited about what Janicza Bravo will do next. 

Movie Review: Wallace and Gromit

Wallace and Gromit The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (2005)

Directed by Nick Park, Steve Box

Written by Steve Box, Nick Park, Mark Burton, Bob Baker

Starring Peter Sallis, Ralph Fiennes, Helena Bonham Carter, Peter Kay

Release Date October 7th, 2005

Published October 8th, 2005 

Recently Aardman studios, home to the famous stop motion animation duo Wallace and Gromit and their plasticine cousins from the 1999 hit  Chicken Run, burned to the ground. The building and everything inside was lost. On the bright side however W & G creator Nick Park, while out on a worldwide promotional tour for the pair's first feature length film Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of The Were-Rabbit, had with him one of the many clay models of Wallace and Gromit used in the movie.

This guarantees that Wallace and Gromit, despite the tragic loss of their home, will be back again. This is wonderful news considering that their feature debut is a wildly entertaining kiddie flick with a great heart and a nice lesson wrapped up in a technological marvel of filmmaking technique.

The tiny English village home to the beloved duo of Wallace and Gromit is abuzz over the big vegetable festival. When I say big vegetable festival I mean BIG vegetable festival. All of the villagers are engaged in growing the largest veggies ever seen for Lady Tottington (voiceed by Helena Bonham Carter) and her family's 518th annual vegetable festival.

Unfortunately, the town has a bit of a rabbit problem. The cute and fuzzy bunnies of the world have converged on the town and only Wallace and Gromit and their pest control service, the cleverly monikered Anti-Pesto, can protect the town's giant veggies by employing Wallace's latest invention, the Bun-Vac, a vacuum powered device that allows W & G to collect all of the rabbits in a way that does not harm them.

Lady Tottington, hosting the festival at her massive estate also has a rabbit problem that requires Anti-Pesto's attention. Wallace and Gromit show up to take care of it and Wallace is immediately smitten. Lady Tottington has another suitor in the scheming jerk Victor Quartermaine (voiced by Ralph Fiennes), a hunting enthusiast with a mean dog.

The plot kicks in with yet another new invention of Wallace's, a mind control device that he hopes will change the minds of the rabbits from veggie-lovers to cheeseheads. Things naturally go awry and soon a very large rabbit, still very much a veggie lover, is terrorizing the countryside threatening to cancel the big festival. Can Wallace and Gromit track down this giant rabbit and save the festival or will Victor Quartermaine and his big game hunting get him first?

This lovingly crafted tale of friendship, vegetables and PETA friendly animal control is wonderfully realized with a fillmmaking technology that is truly astonishing. In a five year process the animators manipulated the characters movements frame by frame. On a good day three seconds of usable footage was a major accomplishment.

Augmenting the process with CGI effects Wallace and Gromit and their terrific supporting cast inhabit a magically realistic environment. So wonderfully crafted are the characters and sets in Curse of The Were-Rabbit that even the fingerprints occasionally found on the Plasticine characters are charming.

In his Oscar winning Wallace and Gromit short features, The Wrong Trousers and A Close Shave, director Nick Park developed a style of simple storytelling that is safe for kids without being condescending. Wallace and Gromit are lovable, fun characters that you want to watch and hope succeed in whatever adventure they take up.

The duo's feature debut is the perfect culmination of that simple style of storytelling combined with innovative technology and just plain hard work. Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of The Were-Rabbit is an extraordinary little film. The team at Aardman Studios is rivaled only by the computer magicians at Pixar in their combination of craftsmanship and storytelling.

For kids of all ages Wallace and Gromit: Curse of the Were-Rabbit ranks right up there with Finding Nemo, Shrek and Monsters Inc. as a modern animation classic. Not just for kids, however, because it is so well accomplished, so detailed and so wonderfully optimistic. When the Oscar for best animated feature is announced in March 2006, don't be surprised when Nick Park and co-director Steve Box make their way to the podium to collect yet another Oscar.

Movie Review 2 Days in Paris

2 Days in Paris (2007) 

Directed by Julie Delpy 

Written by Julie Delpy 

Starring Julie Delpy, Adam Goldberg, Daniel Bruhl 

Release Date May 17th, 2007 

Published May 17th, 2007 

Julie Delpy, so enchanting opposite Ethan Hawke in Richard Linklater's indelible double feature Before Sunrise and Before Sunset, brings that Linklater influence to her directorial debut 2 Days In Paris. No Sunrise/Sunset clone is this. 2 Days In Paris is similar in theme and content to her influences, but the characters she has created for herself and Adam Goldberg are wholly her own. Smart, funny, sexy and very French 2 Days In Paris unfolds the realistic twists and turns of a couple under the strain of a two year, where is this thing headed, relationship and a cross Europe vacation that concludes with a visit to Paris and a meet the parents situation unlike anything you've ever experienced, I would hope.

Marion (Julie Delpy) and Jack (Adam Goldberg) have been together two years and though they seem happy where they are, a couple can't be together two years without talk of the future looming overhead. They have spent the past two weeks all over Italy on what was supposed to be a romantic vacation. It has been romantic, occasionally, but Jack has been sick and Marion has been looking ahead to her visit home to Paris. They are laying over two days in Marion's old apartment, she keeps it though they live together in New York.

While there Jack will meet Marion's parents, Anna (Marie Pillet) and Jeannot (Albert Delpy, Julie's real father). Meeting the parents is always awkward but when you literally don't speak the language it can be interminable. Then there are Marion's friends, mostly men, some of them ex's. Naturally Jack is a little insecure and these being French men things get a little more uncomfortable, talk of sex is more open and every conversation is rich with flirtation and entirely in French. That language, so romantic sounding that even the most innocuous compliment sounds like poetry.

All of the strain of a foreign vacation, Marion's parents, Marion's past and Jack's insecurities finally comes to a head and we get scenes of exceptionally smart and wrenching dialogue between two people who communicate a depth and history to their relationship without having to explain it. The tiny jokes, the offhand insults, the little things that make a life between two people are the things that director Julie Delpy captures so beautifully. When we arrive at the more difficult conversations, the tough moments, we are not taking sides, rather we are invested in both characters and this relationship as if we had something at stake in them being together. That is exceptional work.

Adam Goldberg is an actor that can be difficult to take. His characters are all the same, neurotic, New Yorkers, constantly angst ridden and on the edge of an angry explosion. In 2 Days in Paris, as familiar as this character is, there is a little more nuance to it. Goldberg is more in control of his tics and mannerisms here than I've seen him before. He's a little more emotional and in touch with his feelings and though he still has that sarcastic armor that is his calling card, it's part of a richer character. As put off by his act as I'm sure some of you are, you will find it fits this character well.

As for the actress Julie Delpy, she is typically magnificent. I'm sure Ms. Delpy has made some bad movies but when she in her element, romance, France, she is ethereal. This character is more complicated and screwed up than the romantic heroine of Before Sunrise and Before Sunset so she must find different ways of getting us to root for her and somehow, even after some major meltdowns and questionable decisions we root for her and wish for her. It's a terrific performance made all the more impressive because she was directing herself.

Talky, provocative, smart and very funny, 2 Days In Paris is one of the movies I wish I would have seen before I listed my best movies of the year. It is that good. The influence of Richard Linklater has done well for Julie Delpy but 2 Days In Paris is her baby and it is quite beautiful. It is soon to be on DVD and you must check it out.

Movie Review I Don't Know How She Does It

I Don't Know How She Does It (2011) 

Directed by Douglas McGrath

Written by Aline Brosh McKenna 

Starring Sarah Jessica Parker, Pierce Brosnan, Greg Kinnear, Christina Hendricks, Kelsey Grammer, Olivia Munn, Seth Meyers 

Release Date September 16th, 2011 

Published September 17th, 2011

I Don’t Know How She Does It begins with the oddity of characters speaking directly to the camera about the main character, Kate, played by Sarah Jessica Parker. It’s done in a documentary style but the thing is, there is no documentary aspect to the movie. Essentially, this is a hoary device that the movie can rely on without having to explain.

I Don’t Know How She Does It is marked by this kind of sloppiness. This very typical romantic comedy flubs details repeatedly in order to reach the moments that it wants to reach; never mind the fact that the audience is not reaching those moments with the movie, but in spite of it.

Sarah Jessica Parker is Kate Reddy; super-mom. Kate works a big job as an investment banker yet still finds time for bake sales and birthday parties. Even though her job requires her to travel a lot, Kate’s kids and her husband Richard never want for her time and attention.

That changed a few months late last year–apparently the story is told in flashback though again, the structure is so sloppy–when Kate took on the biggest project of her career. Kate has landed a major meeting with Jack (Pierce Brosnan) from the New York office. When she nails the meeting, Kate finds herself busier than ever.

Screenwriter Aline Brosh McKenna has long been fascinated by the ways in which women balance career and private life. Her script for The Devil Wears Prada turns on the question of work ambition versus life away from work. In 27 Dresses, Katherine Heigl’s character created a personal life at work only to find it was a fantasy.

In Morning Glory, Rachel McAdams’ TV producer was ready to dump her man because he refused to accept her dedication to her job. When I read that McKenna had written I Don’t Know How She Does It, I assumed this would be her thesis statement on the topic of balance between work and home.

Instead, I Don’t Know How She Does It is a sub-sitcom level comedy about a mess of a woman, her messy life and the boring complications foisted upon her by the conventions of a boring movie. The ideas that McKenna enjoys examining are there but they exist not as ideas worth discussing but as boring romantic comedy roadblocks.

The only interesting performance in I Don’t Know How She Does It, among a cast that includes Greg Kinnear, Busy Phillipps, Christina Hendricks, Seth Meyers, Olivia Munn and Kelsey Grammer, is from Pierce Brosnan. The former 007 is completely charming in I Don’t Know How She Does It and for a time, he elevates the plot from the cliched depths of lame romantic comedy.

I can’t say that I Don’t Know How She Does It is disappointing, as the trailers did little to instill confidence. However, I did hope that screenwriter Aline Brosh McKenna might sneak a few ideas into the film. Sadly, she failed and what we get is a mediocre sitcom pilot complete with storylines that could continue for endless banal weeks on any network or maybe Lifetime.

Documentary Review: Whitey The United States V James Bulger

Whitey The United States Vs. James Bulger (2014) 

Directed by Joe Berlinger

Written by Documentary 

Starring Whitey Bulger

Release Date January 18th, 2014

Published January 18th, 2014 

I sit here thoroughly depressed and deeply moved. Joe Berlinger's "Whitey: The United States of America V. James J. Bulger" has wrecked me. The case that Berlinger lays out against the FBI and aspects of the Justice Department is thorough, damning and terrifyingly true. That Whitey Bulger is a horrible murderous individual is not in question. How the government made use of Bulger during his time being a horrible murderous individual is as criminal as any crime Bulger committed. 

What are we to do when the people charged with enforcing our laws flaunt those laws. It's the question we've confronted since we first hired men to be police officers and prosecutors. That these, our most trusted individuals can be corrupted is not surprising. When these same men make criminals of us all through their actions however, it's not so much surprising as appalling and terrifying. That's what the FBI and the Justice Department did, they made criminals of us all under the guise of fighting a just fight. 

From the late 70's through the early 90's members of Boston's FBI and Justice Department aided and abetted the life of the murderer Whitey Bulger. Bulger, you see, was uniquely positioned to be of use to them as a supposed FBI informant. However, Bulger was not and never has been an FBI informant. Rather, Bulger's name as a criminal was used as a cover by lazy, venal FBI agents and Justice officials to gain access to members of La Cosa Nostra, the Italian mob. 

Placing Bulger's name on an informant list lent credibility to flimsy prosecution requests that indeed did lead to the capture and conviction of criminals equal to and greater than Whitey Bulger. Indeed, one could argue that while leaving Bulger free under the guise of being an informant to kill whom he pleased, may have saved more lives than Bulger's actions ever took. You could argue that if you were capable of the kind of evil calculus that made people like Whitey Bulger possible. 

Do the ends justify the means? That may be a question you ask. Lives were saved when evidence uncovered using Bulger's name put away members of the Anguilo crime family; the Anguilo's were killers just like Whitey. But ask yourself this: Who should decide who lived and who died? Who's to say that the lives saved by putting away the Anguilo's were worth more than the lives lost by those killed by Whitey Bulger and the members of his crime family. Members of Boston's law enforcement community, the FBI and the Justice Department made themselves into Gods and decided fates. What gave them the right? 

"Whitey" forces you to confront this question. "Whitey" demands that when you begin considering the math in who lived and who died by what murderous thug that you look into the eyes of the wife of Michael Donahue, a man killed for being in the wrong place at the wrong time and explain why the life of her husband was mathematically convenient for American law enforcement. The facts are indisputable that if law enforcement had done its job Whitey Bulger would have been in prison long before Michael Donahue died. Whitey was allowed to take the life of Michael Donahue, husband and father, because Whitey's life made life easier for a group of lazy, fat, FBI criminals and Justice officials. 

It gets even more disgusting than the simple actions of a few corrupt FBI Agents and a few prosecutors however. Even after Whitey Bulger was captured and brought to trial last year, after nearly 15 years on the run, the Justice Department continued the deception and maintained their lie so as not to lose the tainted evidence they gained from his name. The supposedly heroic members of the Justice Department who put away one of "America's Most 10 Most Wanted Criminals," are perpetuating the crimes their predecessors committed because they don't want to confront the work that would be needed to clean up this mess. 

Prosecutor Michael Kelly who's been feted as much as anyone for his hard-nosed prosecutorial tactics in the Bulger case even goes as far as to attack the one heroic member of the FBI who tried to expose Bulger in the midst of worst criminal years and make him a target. Bob Fitzpatrick called Bulger's installation as an upper echelon informant into question in the early 80's and was shouted down before being drummed out of the FBI. When he tells this story in court, even as he is corroborating cases against Bulger, he is treated as a criminal for pointing out the corruption that allowed Bulger to be a murderous criminal for so long. Why? To maintain the convenient lie: That Whitey Bulger was an informant.

Documentary Review: American Meme

The American Meme (2018) 

Directed by Bert Marcus 

Written by Documentary 

Starring Paris Hilton, Josh Ostrovsky, Hailey Baldwin, D.J Khaled

Release Date December 7th, 2018 

Published December 7th, 2018

American Meme is a recent document on Netflix that tells the story of a group of people who are ‘internet famous.’ What that means essentially is that they have achieved a level of notoriety on Instagram that has reached a level that in some ways transcends our popular culture. The documentary was directed by Bert Marcus as a rather dim profile of these internet famous people other than an actual investigation of this truly bizarre phenomenon. 

The documentary opens on Paris Hilton. In case you perhaps thought that her pop culture profile had diminished since she hasn’t been on television in several years, Hilton is still out there and her medium of choice is Instagram where she has more than 50 million followers. The main takeaway from this short segment is how according to Hilton herself, her family is concerned about how much time she spends with her online fans, including allowing them to stay at her house. 

The film proceeds next, and briefly, into the life of Brittary Furlan who has made her life on social media. Furlan does characters, impressions and straight up goofy nonsense. The documentary captures her as she is first performing an impression of Paris Hilton and then sets herself up for a photo shoot in which she recreates a famous Beyonce pose while holding an oversized burrito. The scene ends sadly when she finds that a rival called The Fat Jewish has recreated the same pose. 

Josh Ostrovsky is better known as The Fat Jewish, don’t ask about the name. The film details mostly his pictures with his dogs and his love of Paris Hilton. The Fat Jewish was famous most recently for stealing bits from comedians and posting them on his Instagram as his own jokes but America Meme does nothing to cover Josh Ostrovsky’s controversial side. Instead they allowed him to play up how he managed to get invited to the Washington Correspondents Dinner and got a picture with President Obama. 

This vapid documentary is nearly nearly as vapid as the meme worthy people it portrays. Model Emily Ratajkowski shows up for a moment to talk about how she became famous in Robin Thicke’s Blurred Lines video and then she’s gone. DJ Khaled is another celebrity featured talking about how he documents nearly every aspect of his life on Instagram. Everything from his breakfast, lunch and dinner to his successes as a rap music producer. 

The worst of those profiled is a photographer named Kirill whose fame is based basically on light pornography, not unlike Girls Gone Wild. Kirll’s interview is hard to watch as his obnoxiousness radiates through the screen. I don’t have a problem with nudity, I am not a prude, I just really don’t like this guy based off of the interviews in American Meme. Kirill has been repeatedly kicked off of Instagram until he finally changed his name to SlutWhisperer and suddenly the platform just let him be for whatever reason. At least the name indicates his obnoxiousness. 

Kathy Hilton is the only person who really comes off well in this movie. According to what is in this documentary, she never wanted this for her daughters. Based on this information, much of what became Paris Hilton’s infamy came without her mother’s influence. Kathy is portrayed not as some out of touch stage mom, but a reasonable and concerned parent who expresses genuine concern regarding the ways in which her daughter’s celebrity emerged. 

American Meme briefly flirts with something meaningful in both the relationship between Kathy and Paris and in dealing directly and honestly with Paris’s sex tape. Paris expresses genuine sadness  over how the tape came to be. When Paris talks about how the tape changed her life and prevented her from reaching her potential, it’s honestly moving. It’s hard to feel much sympathy for someone of such ludicrous privilege but I can say I did feel for her here. 

That’s about as close to depth as you are going to get in American Meme. The documentary is about the lowest form of modern celebrity. Instagram is this empty place full of self-involved, obnoxious people who have made ridiculous amounts of money for doing things that would have had them in detention in High School. Or there is Kirill who is basically a pornographer posing as a provocateur. 

If you are fascinated by the culture that your kids and grandkids are investing in, American Meme is kind of valuable in that way. It’s a cautionary warning to make sure that you are keeping a close eye on what your kids are doing on social media. Pay close attention to your kids and if they are following these people on social media, heed that and be afraid, be very, very afraid.

Documentary Review: Waiting for Superman

Waiting for Superman (2010) 

Directed by Davis Guggenheim 

Written by Documentary 

Starring Geoffrey Canada 

Release Date September 24th, 2010 

Published November 15th, 2010 

We should be ashamed of ourselves. The documentary “Waiting for Superman” from Oscar winning filmmaker Davis Guggenheim should make us all ashamed to look our children in the eyes. It’s our fault. We let this happen. Years and years of neglect and an inability to adjust to the times combined with an intractable group of teachers who we’ve allowed to slouch toward tenure have turned more than a third of the schools in the United States into what one expert calls ‘Failure factories.’

“Waiting for Superman” begins with an idealistic Davis Guggenheim looking back at the amazing, dedicated teachers he met while making his first documentary more than 10 years ago. A decade later Davis has kids and this fact has forced him to reassess his opinion of public schools. The fact is that with a little research Davis finds that the best place to assure his kids of a good education is a private school, even if this flies in the face of his liberal ideals.

Yes, Davis Guggenheim does not hide his political leanings, never has; he won an Oscar with Vice President Al Gore for “An Inconvenient Truth.” Politics aligns Guggenheim with the teacher’s union, a group whose funding of the national Democratic Party has lead to the party being called a ‘wholly owned subsidiary of the teacher’s union.’

Yet, it is also this union that is a big part of what is sinking our schools. A scourge of bad teachers shirking their duty to kids are leaving generations of our children unprepared for the road ahead of them. These teachers pass on kids who lack the skills needed to move forward only to get them out of their classroom. Then, this teacher is bounced from one school to another in the vain hope that the next bad teacher won’t be as bad as the one he/she replaced.

Not all teachers are bad and not all of our problems can be blamed on the teachers union but, Davis Guggenheim and “Waiting For Superman” make a persuasive case that teachers acting in their own self interest and union leaders who put bad teachers ahead of children, are driving schools into the ground to protect the jobs of teachers who deserve to be fired.

The best example of this in “Waiting for Superman” is found in Washington D.C, the single worst school district in the country. A reformer by the name of Michelle Rhee was named Superintendent in 2007. Her goal was to cut through the bureaucracy and move the millions of dollars that the district wasted on administration out to the schools. Once she began that shift; Ms. Rhee found that not only was bureaucracy dragging down D.C schools but an intractable union, braced by a tenure agreement was passing on generation after generation of unprepared and ill-educated children.

Michelle Rhee set about changing this as well and seemed to have a solution. She offered an exchange; teachers could get exorbitant pay increases, six figure salaries, if they gave up tenure.

Giving up tenure would allow the Superintendent to fire the failing teachers and reward the teachers who deserved it. The teachers union refused to even discuss the idea, giving up tenure would mean losing members and losing members equals losing power. D.C is the ultimate example of adults choosing their best interest over the interests of children. “Waiting for Superman” is not all criticism of the teacher union and the despair of lost children; there are heroes to be found here. Jeffrey Canada was an idealistic New York teacher who rose through the ranks to become an administrator in New York. Canada believed he could change the system that was creating so much poverty in Harlem, New York. Then he ran up against the teacher’s union.

Stymied by a union which wastes more than 100 million tax dollars per year on failing teachers, Jeffrey Canada moved to start a charter school, a non-union school that would select a small group of students and educate them in new and progressive ways. Jeffrey Canada’s Harlem Success Academy is changing the way kids are educated. Harlem Success Academy catches kids before they lose hope, before bad teachers rob them of their love of learning.

Jeffrey Canada is joined by other heroic educators who also have started charter schools and are showing astonishing results. In Texas and California; KIPP, Knowledge is Power Program, is delivering kids who are prepared to compete in the changing global economy.

In Los Angeles, Seed Academy is pulling kids out of impoverished homes and placing them in a boarding school that separates them from the violence, crime and apathy of the streets. Each of these schools has been around for nearly a decade and the results have been staggering. Unfortunately, thanks to the teacher’s unions, these charter schools can only take on a small number of kids.

Year after year these charter schools hold state mandated lotteries during which they choose 40 or 50 applications from hundreds of struggling parents desperate to rescue their child from the education system that, in most cases failed that parent in decades passed. Davis Guggenheim follows several families from Los Angeles to D.C to New York as they pray for a space in a charter school.

“Waiting for Superman” ends on a heart rending note as we watch several ordinary and sometimes extraordinary kids facing what could be the defining moment of their lives. If these kids do not get into Harlem Success, KIPP or Seed they will end up at failing middle schools and high schools. The most despairing example is an exceptionally bright, 6 year old Latina girl who if she loses out on the KIPP lottery in Los Angeles will be turned over to one of the worst schools in the country because that’s the district in which her struggling parents live.

These lotteries play like Sophie’s Choice on a massive scale. At one charter school we can save 60 students at another charter we can save 150 students and at still another charter we can save 10 or 20 students. Davis Guggenheim is very specific in choosing the families he chose to follow, kids who are in failing school districts who will end up at some of the worst schools in the country because of geography.

One might guess that only inner city schools are failing but that is not the case. Guggenheim travels to a posh suburban school in Silicon Valley that has nearly as many failing students as any inner city school. Even with a school that looks like a University parents are eager to get their children out and into a charter school that has shown an uncanny knack for sending kids to college and prepared to actually be in college.

This suburban palace school you see has a curriculum based on what is called tracking. Tracking is a system created during World War 2 and was meant to quickly identify traits in kids that could predict how their skills could be put to use in a very different workforce. The economic changes of the last 60 years have shifted the ground beneath us. We have evolved from a manufacturing economy to a thought economy that values a very different set of skills and yet schools continue tracking kids to jobs that are no longer relevant.

On the hopeful side, Guggenheim demonstrates quite clearly that kids are not failing in school, we are failing them. At Harlem Success Academy and KIPP and Seed, kids who in the past would have been written off as being incapable of learning or kids who would have been tracked into irrelevance and despair, are thriving and striving toward College and success.

“Waiting for Superman” is an act of bravery, a desperate cry for help and for change. It’s not about throwing more money at schools but about changing the way schools are set up. Teacher’s unions are protecting bad teachers for their own self interest and in doing so they are abandoning generations of kids to lives of despair, poverty and struggle.

We need to be embarrassed. We should be outraged. We tout the US as the greatest country in the world and yet we rank in the 20’s in terms of education worldwide. China, among others, is well ahead of us in math. When the companies in Silicon Valley go looking for Engineers they look to India because US schools are not turning out kids with the skill level to handle these exceptionally difficult and well paying jobs.

It is an embarrassment and an outrage. Republican or Democrat, you cannot watch “Waiting for Superman” and not come away outraged and ashamed. See “Waiting for Superman” and get involved in changing this abhorrent situation. There is still time to save several generations of kids but we must act now.

Documentary Review: Touching the Void

Touching the Void (2003) 

Directed by Kevin MacDonald 

Written by Documentary 

Starring Brendan Mackey, Nicholas Aaron, Ollie Ryall

Release Date December 12th, 2003

Published December 12th, 2003 

I am not much of an outdoorsman. I am especially not much of a climber, I once damn near killed myself on one of those plastic climbing walls, don't ask me how. So reading the book Touching The Void by Joe Simpson, detailing his unreal ascent from a mountain in Peru with a broken leg and a climbing party that assumed he was dead, was quite an experience. The book, however, is surpassed by this amazing docu-drama that combines the best of documentary filmmaking with re-enactments of what happened on that mountain in 1985, a story that was nearly never to be told.

In 1985, two friends from Britain were looking for a challenge. Having only been climbing for a little while Joe Simpson and his slightly more experienced partner Simon Yates felt they were ready for a real challenge and chose a large, snowy peak in the Andes mountain range in Peru. With a climbing party consisting of just them and another man, Richard Hawking, who remained at the base camp, the two made for the top of Siula Grande 21,000 feet high.

Climbing to the very top of the mountain was quite a challenge, especially with the constant snowstorms and freezing temperatures. However, Joe and Simon's real challenge would came on the way back down. Having made the peak in two days and looking down on the world, they were ready to go back to camp. There are no maps on the top of a mountain to tell you what is solid and what is just lightly packed snow. One false step and you could fall a long way. That is what happened to Joe Simpson.

Searching for the safest route to climb down, Simpson walked to the edge of a snow shelf to look over the side when the shelf broke and Joe fell. Thankfully he was tied at the waste with Simon but that was not enough to keep him from hitting the ground hard and breaking his leg. This is a serious injury at any altitude but on this high peak, in this weather, it's a veritable death sentence. Simon could leave Joe and go for help but by the time he could get to base camp (it's a three day walk back to the main road and still a few hours drive to get to civilization), it might be too late.

Simpson tells us that he would not have blamed Simon for leaving him and was in fact a little surprised that he didn't. Instead, they attempted a very complicated descent that put both their lives in great danger. Simon, using all of the rope they had, slowly lowered Joe as far as the rope would go. Then, he would climb down to where Joe was and lower him again. Having to cover some 20,000 feet of mountain with three hundred feet of rope, this took a while. They worked through the night, with no sleep and even colder temperatures.

Things get worse when another snow shelf causes Joe to fall, this time with Simon too far away to know what happened. Joe is dangling over the side of a snow shelf unable to reach the wall and brace himself. Simon is left to wonder if Joe has succumbed to the cold or blood loss from his injury and is forced to make a difficult decision that pits his life against that of Joe's. Should Simon assume Joe is dead and cut the rope, thus saving his own life? Or, hope that Joe is alive and can correct the problem and continue the climb? Simon's decision has been debated ever since among climbers and laymen alike.

What is most amazing about Touching The Void is the combination of documentary-style narration of Simon, Joe and Richard alongside actors Nicholas Aaron, Brenden Mackey and Ollie Ryall re-enacting the climb on the actual mountain in Peru and the slightly safer Alps. Yates and Simpson narrate the action, which shows that they survived this amazing ordeal and yet the action is so well-directed by filmmaker Kevin McDonald (Oscar winner for One Day In September), that the suspense is still palpable.

People have been trying to turn the book Touching The Void into a live-action feature since it was published in 1990. Sally Field had once been in line to direct the film with Tom Cruise as Simpson but something about this story escapes a traditional narrative. Invented dialogue and traditional movie structured storytelling just doesn't seem right for this.

Kevin McDonald's docu-drama approach is the clearly the perfect way to attack this material. The actors resemble Yates and Simpson so well and the situations described in the on camera interviews and voiceover so well rendered you can't escape the feeling of actually being there. You feel as if you are inside the memories of Yates and Simpson and that is a truly amazing feeling.

Documentary Review The Fabulous Alan Carr

The Fabulous Alan Carr (2017) 

Directed by Jeffrey Schwartz 

Written by Documentary 

Starring Alan Carr

Release Date May 19th, 2017

Published May 19th, 2017

Today, the name Allan Carr is not a name that rings many bells but in the 1970’s, he was one of the most famous Hollywood movie producers in the world. Known for his lavish movie premieres, Carr was a fixture on talk shows such as Merv Griffin where his flamboyant personality was as notable and entertaining as many of the movies he was supposedly on hand to promote.

The new documentary The Fabulous Allan Carr brings the famed producer back for another look at his unique legacy. Born in Chicago, Illinois in 1937, Allan Carr was always a little different from the other kids. From an early age he was fascinated by fashion and was friends with all of the girls and yes, these are the cliched traits of many gay men of Allan Carr’s time but nevertheless true as shown in the documentary.

With his lively personality Allan took to the High School theater crowd and found his first love in show business. With the help of his parents he rehabbed a Chicago Theater and booked shows with Hollywood legend Bette Davis, far from her heyday as an Academy Award winner but still a big name who, until Carr came along, was touring High School gymnasiums and small dinner theater outlets. Carr put Davis back on the stage and got his first hit.

From there, Carr parlayed a job booking talent for Hugh Hefner’s Chicago set television series, “Playboy Tonight” into a career in Hollywood. He began as an agent for big name clients like Ann Margaret who credits Carr saving her career by taking her to Las Vegas and helping create a lavish stage show that turned into one of the highest grossing acts in the history of sin city. Carr also produced Ann Margaret TV specials but it was on the big screen where Carr found his biggest success.

In 1978 Carr teamed with music mogul Robert Stigwood to create Grease. Based on a popular Broadway musical, Grease became a monster hit and propelled Allan Carr to the talk show circuit and fame well beyond that of many Hollywood producers. The Fabulous Allan Carr has wonderful interviews with Carr’s closest friends talking about the success of Grease and how it transformed Carr’s life.

If there is anything lacking from The Fabulous Allan Carr it is interviews with the stars that Carr worked with in his fabulous career. Despite his work on Grease we don’t hear from John Travolta or Olivia Newton John. There is an interview with one of The Village People who Carr worked with on the flop musical Can’t Stop the Music but no Steve Guttenberg or Katelyn Jenner, though Valerie Perrine does show up.

Then there is the most interesting flop of Carr’s career, the 61st Academy Awards. Carr was hired to produce the Academy Awards and wound up producing what is remembered as one of the biggest disasters in Oscars history. Carr was the man who came up with the idea of having Snow White sing Proud Mary with Rob Lowe in a disastrous opening musical number that cost millions of dollars and lasted more than 20 minutes to open the show.

The documentary hints that perhaps this number wasn’t all that bad and that Carr’s vision for the Oscars was something that had been maligned by history but the filmmakers do little to back up that assertion. Instead, the makers of The Fabulous Allan Carr dedicated several minutes to telling us that it was Carr who first had presenters use the phrase “And the Oscar Goes to…”, a notable anecdote but not exactly enough to make us forget Proud Mary.

Overall, The Fabulous Allan Carr is an interesting documentary for anyone who loves a slice of behind the scenes Hollywood. It’s worth checking out on-demand where it is available for rent from Amazon, YouTube, and Google Play services.

Documentary Review The Devil and Daniel Johnston

The Devil and Daniel Johnston (2005) 

Directed by Jeff Feuerzeig 

Written by Documentary

Starring Daniel Johnson 

Release Date March 31st, 2006 

Published August 20th, 2006 

There is a thin line between genius and madness. Daniel Johnston crossed that line with a combination of manic depression, fundamentalist Christianity, and bad acid trips. Somehow, despite his obvious mental deficiencies, Daniel Johnston became a cult legend as a musician and an artist and the line between genius and madness blurred to nothing.

In 1985 Daniel Johnston left his home in West Virginia to live with his brother in Texas. He soon disappeared and was later found to have joined up with a traveling carnival. The carnival led him to Austin, Texas, the iconoclastic home of one of the most eclectic music and art scenes in the country.

Johnston, carrying his self produced tapes and lyrics, made the rounds introducing himself, handing out his tapes, and blowing the minds of the Austin intelligentsia who saw something in him that most people did not. Johnston would go on to become one of Austin's most renowned characters and likely its most tragic.

His national profile is equally uncanny. Daniel Johnston once lucked his way onto MTV when the music channel's hip underground show, 120 Minutes, profiled Austin's music scene and Daniel simply showed up at the taping and soon found his way on to the stage. From there, in between trips to various mental facilities, Daniel Johnston's friends and acquaintances passed his legend on to anyone who would listen.

When Johnston’s manager set up a publishing label for him, bands like Nirvana, Pearl Jam and Sonic Youth lined up to cover his work. Curt Cobain brought Daniel his most consistent national exposure by wearing a T-shirt with a drawing created by Daniel Johnston on the MTV music video awards. Cobain subsequently wore the shirt in TV and magazine interviews for months on end.

Here is the odd thing I kept going back to as I watched the documentary, The Devil and Daniel Johnston, Daniel Johnston is clinically quite crazy. From a purely scientific standpoint the man's mind is out of his control. He has crazy visions of God and Satan, some of which he has copied down and sold as art. Daniel Johnston has the kind of grand delusions that would have most people lined up for lifetime commitment to a hospital. However, a random arrival in Austin and finding just the right oddball community of artists, finds Daniel Johnston a world renowned musician and artist.

I don't know whether I admire Daniel Johnston or pity him. Watching people like the members of Sonic Youth, who brought Daniel to New York to record with them, and people like Simpsons creator Matt Groening, talk about how much they love Daniel's music is very strange. If these same people saw Daniel Johnston singing on a street corner in New York or LA would they or anyone give him a moment's notice?

The music of Daniel Johnston is bizarre. At once unlistenable and strangely compelling. When Daniel Johnston is riffing at his best; his lyrical combinations are rather mind blowing. More often, however, listeners will find Daniel Johnston lost in his delusions and proselytizing about god and satan and the various voices in his head.

Daniel Johnston has a gift and absolutely no ability to master it. This makes him both fascinating and tragic. It makes the documentary about his life The Devil and Daniel Johnston one of the most compelling and thought provoking documentaries I have ever seen.

Documentary Review: Free Solo

Free Solo (2018)

Directed by Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi, Jimmy Chin

Written by Documentary

Starring Alex Honnold, Tomy Caldwell 

Release Date September 28th, 2018

Published September 26th, 2018 

Free Solo is one of the most strange and harrowing experiences I have had at the movies in 2018. This deification of free climber Alex Honnold which attempts to portray Honnold as a heroic figure and not a man with a death wish or a callous disregard for life, is also wildly, enthralling. Free Solo contains a full 20 minute sequence that is one of the most riveting of this or any year as we watch Honnold do something no one has ever done before and lived to tell. 

Free Solo introduces Alex Honnold as a legend already in progress. Among rock climbers, Alex is a God. Alex has made some of the most difficult climbs in history, all around the globe and all without the use of safety equipment. What Alex does is called Free Solo and it very simply means that he climbs mountains without the use of a rope, a harness or anything else that could keep him alive if he were to lose his grip and fall from hundreds of feet in the air. 

We meet a restless Alex as he is once again pondering an attempt at the most difficult Free Solo Climb on American soil. No one in history has completed a free solo climb of El Capitan in Yosemite National Park in California but Alex has had the idea to do it for some time. As Alex recounts in the documentary, he had been to ‘El Cap’ three years in a row with the intent of possibly making the attempt at a free solo, only to back out. 

Nerves are a rarity for Alex and we don’t really know what it was that drove him to abandon his previous attempts. Was he afraid? Did his research of the mountain, climbing with safety equipment, discourage him? Don’t expect to find out much about Alex’s thought process. A key scene in Free Solo has Alex undergo an MRI to see if his brain works any differently than normal people and indeed, his amygdala, the part of the brain that senses an emergency or fear, is less active than the average brain. So, we can rule out fear, for the most part. 

Were it not for Alex’s girlfriend, a non-climber named Sanni, we might not learn much of anything about Alex beyond his climbing exploits. He’s not a big personality, he’s not particularly charismatic, he’s friendly enough but if you were to ask about anything other than climbing rocks it’s easy to imagine his level of discomfort or disinterest in any other topic. Rock Climbing is everything for Alex Honnold and El Cap is the closest thing he has to a religious experience. 

Free Solo was directed by Honnold’s friends Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi and Jimmy Chin a married couple and fellow climbers who’ve been with Alex for a few years. They too have an obsession with climbing as their previous director effort was Meru which followed Chin’s ascent of the 4000 foot mountain climb in the Himalayas on a rock known as ‘the shark fin.’ Rock climbing, as portrayed in Meru and especially here in Free Solo is portrayed as pure obsession. 

There is a dark complexity to Free Solo that is inescapable for those of us in the audience. Free Solo at once is quite direct about the danger of free solo climbing and yet still manages to portray Alex Honnold as a hero. There is a sequence in Free Solo in which we hear about the number of people, some of whom are contemporaries of Alex, men he had admired and emulated who have died, falling from incredible heights during a free solo climb. 

Alex is almost indifferent to these facts. Alex is downright callous in his disregard of how these men died. The filmmakers are similarly unaffected by these scenes that they chose to include. They don’t so much as confront Alex with these men’s deaths as offer these men's’ lives as a plot point in order to demonstrate how incredible what Alex is doing truly is. It’s not hard to imagine that these scenes are in the movie simply to deflect the idea that they are simply making a hagiography of Alex that glories in his manly pursuit of his dangerous vocation. 

That would, at least, be a more honest movie. Instead, what we get is a movie that is rather dismissive of how dangerous free solo climbing is in favor of showing how cool free solo climbing is. Indeed, I cannot deny that free solo climbing is cool looking. I can’t sit here and pretend I wasn’t riveted with car wreck fascination over Alex’s climb, even as I knew he had survived it. Much like Nascar, we pretend that this is about the remarkable challenge but we secretly, darkly, are watching for something horrible that might happen. 

Do I recommend Free Solo? Yes, it’s undeniably compelling even as it is uncomfortably uncritical of how it glorifies an activity that will get more than a few people killed. Free Solo will inspire someone to want to try what Alex did. You could say this about a number of different movies but there is something more disquieting about Free Solo and how it appears to invite new daredevils to be the next Alex by making him a hero just for not falling to his death. 

The lengthy segment of Free Solo in which Alex Honnold is making his climb to the top of El Capitan is among the most exciting, unnerving and compelling scenes in any movie in 2018. There are very few words, just grunts and brief sounds updating the crew on where Alex is on the mountain. The crew is just as transfixed as we are and while the silence was certainly a dramatic choice, it was also because they are as absorbed in this sight as we are. These scenes are why I can’t dislike Free Solo even as I am uncomfortable with it. 

Relay (2025) Review: Riz Ahmed and Lily James Can’t Save This Thriller Snoozefest

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