Movie Review: The Messengers

The Messengers (2007)

Directed by The Pang Brothers 

Written by Mark Wheaton

Starring Kristen Stewart, Dylan McDermott, Penelope Ann Miller, John Corbett 

Release Date February 2nd, 2007

Published February 1st, 2007

The two worst things to happen to modern horror are the rise of the PG-13 rating as a box office force and the rising influence of atmospheric Japanese horror movies. The PG-13 rips the guts out of the genre by not allowing guts to be ripped out on screen anymore. The rating robs the genre of its kink and cheap thrills and leaves nothing but the shrill screams of the soundtrack.

The influence of Japanese horror wouldn't be such a bad thing if American filmmakers could mimic it well. Unfortunately, as demonstrated by two The Ring's and two Grudge movies and the pitiful Dark Water with Jennifer Connelly, clearly we can't. Both of these bad trends come together in the latest haunted house horror flick The Messengers.

The last thing young Jess (Kristen Stewart) wants is to move to the middle of nowhere, North Dakota. Unfortunately for Jess, her dad Roy (Dylan McDermott) and mom Denise (Penelope Ann Miller), are forcing her to do just that. Dad has decided he is going to become a sunflower farmer and has used the family's savings to buy a dilapidated farmhouse and some empty acres.

Naturally, the house was once the site of a grizzly murder. A mother, her daughter, and young son, were killed in this house and their spirits haven't left. Only Jess's baby brother Ben can see the ghosts, though eventually, Jess gets up close and personal when they try and kill her. Joining the family on the farm is a mysterious wandering farmhand named Burwell (John Corbett) who may or may not have some history of his own tied up in the old house.

Commercials for The Messengers trade on the idea that small children, toddlers, can see things adults can't. It's an attention grabbing conceit. However, it has nothing to do with the movie that ends up on the screen. Yes, there is a toddler in the film and yes he does see the ghosts. However, the fact that the kid can see the ghosts has little, to no impact on the plot, it's more of a marketing tool intended to make you think of better movies in which kids see ghosts, The Sixth Sense. 

Director's Danny and Oxide Pang made the awkward but entertaining Japanese horror flick The Eye and now make their American debut with The Messengers. The new movie shares the debut picture's awkward style and low rent effects. What The Messengers lacks; and what The Eye had in abundance, is an original story. Working with first time writer Mark Wheaton, and from an idea from the man behind Jason X; Todd Farmer, the Pang Brothers deliver an uninspired bit of by the numbers direction.

There is some unintentional comedy in The Messengers, though not nearly enough for real camp fun. In one scene Dylan McDermott gets into it with some crows and ends up having to throw a haymaker at one, a dignity destroying bit of physical business. In another, John Corbett is engulfed by the evil black birds, reminiscent of a scene from The Simpsons in which Homer is attacked by crows. Oh, did I mention the fact that these bizarre bird attacks are entirely random and never actually linked to the plot? That's kind of important.

The special effects of The Messengers are about as bad as the directors fetish for black birds. The ghosts of The Messengers are The Grudge knockoffs with cracking bones and crawling on all fours on floors, walls and ceilings. Each has that very obvious digital glow about them that let's the audience know the filmmakers didn't have the money for the top notch digital effects.

The Messengers is a mindless rehash of a dozen other bad horror movies from The Ring and The Grudge to the long forgotten Sharon Stone-Dennis Quaid teaming Cold Creek Manor whose creators might consider looking into copyright infringement, the stories are so similar. The estate of the late great Alfred Hitchcock might consider litigation as well. considering The Messengers' oddball, non-plot related, bird obsession.

However, relating anything Hitchcock-ian to this thrill-less thriller is a little too insulting to the great master. Forget I ever brought it up, just as you would forget The Messengers moments after seeing it.

Movie Review: The Missing

The Missing (2003) 

Directed by Ron Howard 

Written by Ken Kaufman

Starring Cate Blanchett, Tommy Lee Jones, Evan Rachel Wood, Jenna Boyd, Aaron Eckhardt 

Release Date November 26th, 2003

Published November 24th, 2003

I have never been a big fan of westerns and yet, this year, I have seen a pair of terrific films from that genre: Kevin Costner's elegant cattle rustling drama Open Range and an unknown indie western called Dust starring Josef Fiennes; a western that toys with the traditions of the genre in ways that bring it new life and vitality. Now comes Ron Howard's take on the western, The Missing. Like Open Range, it has some of the traditional archetypes and structure of classic western, but like the innovative Dust, it has a  lot of artistry and flair that the genre has always lacked.

Cate Blanchett stars in The Missing as Maggie, a healer in a backwoods New Mexico homestead. Maggie lives and works the land with her two daughters, oldest Lilly (Evan Rachel Wood) and youngest Dot (Jenna Boyd), as well as a field hand named Brake (Aaron Eckhart) with whom Maggie is close. Their lives are mundane and, you might even say, dull, until Maggie's estranged father Samuel (Tommy Lee Jones) comes to their home in need of medical attention.

Father and daughter haven't spoken in years, not since Samuel ran off to live with Apache Indians, leaving Maggie behind with her sick mother who died soon after he left. Maggie grew up hard and fast and was only recently coming to terms with herself when Samuel shows up. It's not surprising when she angrily sends her father on his way. 

Unfortunately, Samuel will re-enter his daughter’s life again soon after when Indians kidnap Lilly and head for the Mexican border to sell her into slavery. Only Samuel has the means to track the Indians and get the girl back. The military, represented by Val Kilmer in a quick cameo, are hot on the wrong trail and are headed the wrong direction despite Maggie's pleading.

The Indian kidnappers are lead by a mystical man called Chidin, who Samuel is convinced is a witch. Chidin does indeed seem to have some sort of powers, though his motives are clearly just motivated by greed. Chidin is played by Eric Schweig who made a wonderful impression in 2002's Skins. Here, he is hardly recognizable under aging makeup and war paint, and he is more frightening than most horror movie villains.

Director Ron Howard had said he never wanted to make a western, but something about the unconventional elements of The Missing appealed to him. Howard liked that this western had a strong woman as its lead character. He liked that there were no card games or noontime shootouts at ten paces. The mystical elements of The Missing offered the opportunity to break many of the traditional western cliches. For the most part, Howard makes it work.

The success of The Missing starts with the casting of Cate Blanchett, a terrifically believable actress. Blanchett is a chameleon on par with Meryl Streep, Blanchett can play any role. Here, she plays what are essentially two roles. When we first meet Maggie, she is a hard bitten woman who is both mother and father to her two daughters. Maggie chops wood and cooks dinner. However, after her daughter is kidnapped, she is forced to become vulnerable and, as father and daughter slowly reconcile, she softens Maggie's edges in a way that is believable. Maggie never melts into a typical victim role that the character might have become in the hands of a lesser actress.

What can you say about Tommy Lee Jones? The man is toughness personified. In The Missing, even as he wears the ugliest, least convincing pony tail in film history, Jones still exudes toughness and wisdom. There is something about those deep lines in Jones's face; those lines communicate strength, intelligence, surprising humor, a most effectively wisdom. Jones' wizened visage carries gravitas, it has weight as much as age, intensity and experience. 

Credit cinematographer Salvatore Tatino with helping The Missing break with many of the western genres' most conventional elements. Using different cameras, film stock, and lighting Tatino and Howard paint a wonderfully unique looking western setting. The only significant problem with The Missing, is its length, which stretches too far past the two hour mark. 

There are a number of times the film could have ended but didn't and the final half hour is desperately padded with unnecessary scenes. It's as if screenwriter Ken Kaufmann, adapting a book by Thomas Eidsen, couldn't decide on an ending and kept circling back to wrap up forgotten and unnecessary plot points that could have been left for the audience to wonder about. Instead those plot points are resolved with pretentious, overlong bits of dialogue that threaten to sink the film near the end.

Thankfully Ron Howard pulls out of this bad run of scenes before the film completely faltered and, for most of its run time, The Missing is an enthralling western thriller that shows there is plenty more you can do with a western setting than mere gunfights and saloon brawls.

Movie review: The Mule

The Mule (2018) 

Directed by Clint Eastwood 

Written by Nick Schenk 

Starring Clint Eastwood, Bradley Cooper, Laurence Fishburne, Michael Pena, Dianne Wiest, Andy Garcia 

Release Date December 14th, 2018 

Published December 13th, 2018 

Clint Eastwood’s career has been thought dead before but never by this critic. Never, until now. After suffering through his ‘experimental’ 15:17 to Paris earlier this year and now the misbegotten, The Mule, it feels as if Eastwood’s career as an auteur director is unquestionably over. Gone are the days of Unforgiven, Mystic River and Million Dollar Baby, deliberate and painstaking mood pieces that mixed character and drama brilliantly. 

Now we have movies like The Mule where the diminishing returns of Eastwood’s cranky old racist character have finally reached their ugly nadir. The Mule is Eastwood at his most tone deaf, and I’m not talking about his political incorrectness, this is a full fledged failure and not some political screed. The Mule isn’t merely proudly un-PC, it’s downright anti-intelligent. Where Eastwood used to be able to make up for story flaws with strong film-making, his ear for dialogue has gone deaf and his eye for visual flair is nearly blind. 

The Mule stars Eastwood as Earl Stone, a famed grower of Day-lilies. There is no need to remember this detail, it will play no role whatsoever in the movie. It’s an extraneous detail that plays like a failed rough draft that was never corrected in rewrites. That explanation may also work to answer Eastwood’s embarrassing early scenes in which he attends a flower show and delivers non-sequitur dialogue that would make Tommy Wiseau wince in recognition.

Earl chose flowers over his family, choosing the flower show over attending his daughter’s wedding The movie is so clumsy in detail that it makes it seem as if Earl has shown up at the wedding, he’s at a bar where there is a wedding party, before cutting to his having missed it and not speaking to his daughter (Alison Eastwood) again for more than a decade. He somehow manages to have a close relationship with his granddaughter, Ginny (Taissa Farmiga), though how he managed that without speaking to his daughter for most of the girl’s life is another clumsy detail in a series of dropped plot threads. 

Again, none of this matters to the central plot of The Mule. Yes, Earl’s strained relationship with his family, including his openly antagonistic relationship with his ex-wife, Mary (Dianne Wiest), is supposed to inform his character’s decisions in the main plot but the story is so muddled that he could have jettisoned the family story and it would not have altered the main narrative one iota. The Mule is shockingly lazy that way. 

The main plot of The Mule finds Earl down on his luck with his flower farm in foreclosure. Desperate for money, Earl accepts a shady job from a lowlife friend of his granddaughter. The job involves getting paid big money to drive drug shipments from Texas to Earl’s home city of Peoria, Illinois. Earl is perfect for the job because as an old white man driving a pickup truck, he is the single least likely person on the planet to get pulled over. That's not intended as trenchant observation of Police corruption however, that's more this writers observation than anything the movie characters have considered. 

No joke, he drives without a seat belt on for most of the movie and is never in danger of being stopped by police This could be a great opportunity to examine privilege and stereotypes but Eastwood shows no interest in exploring why an old white guy seemingly never has to worry about being questioned by authorities. Instead, the film appears to be a comic drama about Eastwood singing country songs in the cab of his truck while delivering load after load of illicit drugs. 

There is, I guess, some danger in the plot. The drug dealers threaten Earl’s life a lot and wave guns around a lot but he doesn’t react to any of it, as if age means that you don’t fear death or being beaten by drug dealers anymore. As much as money is his motivation, boredom could also play a role in Earl’s choice to become a mule. There appear to be no stakes on the line for Earl who uses his advanced age as an excuse to do whatever he wants. 

Perhaps that’s meant to be funny, Earl’s give no you know what attitude. Indeed, Eastwood could have been playing for laughs but there is nothing in Eastwood’s direction that indicates he’s being anything less than serious about this story. Just because it is terribly clumsy doesn’t mean it isn’t also dour in that way that bad melodramas are always dour as a way of seeming more dramatic than they really are. 

The Mule is downright dreary as it trudges to a finish that is unpredictable only because it is so messy it’s impossible to predict where we are headed. The film has no narrative momentum, it has no forward motion at times, scenes start, linger and peter out before being replaced by another. The scenes of Eastwood driving and singing along to old country and pop songs are endless and repeated to a torturous degree. 

Eastwood’s decline as a director is stunning. I won’t attribute it to his age because I still believe him capable of delivering a good movie. I think the issue is that he no longer cares for making movies. It’s my feeling that he likes keeping busy and collecting paychecks. 15:17 to Paris and The Mule are movies from a filmmaker who has nothing better to do and decided that making a movie with his buddies is a good way to pass the time.  Here’s hoping Mr. Eastwood had a better time making The Mule than we did watching it. 

Movie Review: The Mummy Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

The Mummy Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008) 

Directed by Rob Cohen 

Written by Alfred Gough, Miles Millar 

Starring Brendan Fraser, Jet Li, Maria Bello, Russell Wong, Michelle Yeoh 

Release Date August 1st, 2008 

Published July 30th, 2008 

Brenden Fraser has long been one of my favorite actors. No actor does big, goofy galoot, nearly as well as Fraser who has essayed roles as a caveman, as George of the Jungle, and in the Mummy movies a 40's era action movie leading man. Often, even when the movie really stinks Fraser remains above the fray, a goofy, good time presence. Unfortunately, even Fraser's good natured goofiness can't rescue the latest in the Mummy series, Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. By the end of this 2 plus hour slog even Fraser seems tired.

When we rejoin the Mummy-verse, Rick O'Connell (Fraser) and his wife Evelyn (Maria Bello, replacing the not returning Rachel Weisz) have retired from the adventure business. After turning back the attack of the mummy Imhotep twice, and even an encounter with the Scorpion King, Rick and Evy are in a welcome respite. At home in their stately manse in England they spend lazy days fishing, writing and being bored out of their minds.

Yes, they actually miss the days when they were risking their lives against supernatural forces and narrowly escaping death through cunning and guile. So, when a British official shows up asking them to return to duty to accompany an ancient artifact to China they leap at the chance. And, as luck would have it, Evy's brother John happens to have moved to Shanghai and opened a nightclub.

Meanwhile, Rick and Evy's son Alex (Luke Ford) happens to be in China discovering the lost tomb of the legendary Dragon Emperor (Jet Li). Unfortunately, after he makes his discovery, Luke gets double crossed and a group of military exiles take possession of the Emperor and set about restoring him to eternal life. Now, Luke and his parents must join forces with an ancient witch (Michelle Yeoh) and her daughter (Isabella Leong) to battle the resurrected dragon emperor and his army of Terra cottar warriors.

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor was directed by Rob Cohen with a tin ear for melodrama and big action. Listening to characters in this latest Mummy movie chat, you get a painful series of scenes where characters state what just happened ir what happens next in stultifying exposition. It's the most perfunctory, irritating explication you can imagine. When they aren't explaining things to us that we are already painfully aware of, characters are professing their feelings to each other with lunkhead-ed platitudes that would make the folks at Hallmark wretch.

Of course, you can't expect a Mummy movie to have great dialogue, if you've seen the previous two blockbusters, and the offshoot, The Scorpion King, you know what you can expect of the script. You have to just hope going in that there won't be so much of those endless reams of expostion. Hopefully you get big action and effects scenes to drown out whatever waste of breath dialogue there may be. Stephen Sommers, who directed the first two Mummy movies, mastered the ability to put action and effects ahead of all else.

Unfortunately, Sommers is gone and replaced by Rob Cohen whose resume includes XXX and Stealth. Those films stink pretty bad but The Mummy Tomb of the Dragon Emperor somehow manages to be even worse. On top of the horrendous dialogue and atrocious melodrama, the action and effects of this Mummy sequel stink. Like digital Ed Wood characters, the digital armies of the dead look worse than most modern video-games and are a hell of a lot less interesting.

Compounding the problems is the grounding of Jet Li. Promoting Jet Li as the Dragon Emperor was a downright lie. Li's role is little more than a cameo. The dragon emperor is more often than not a dull special effect that hardly even looked like Jet Li. When Jet Li does show up he is asked to actually act as opposed to leap about and do things we want Jet Li to do. It's a baffling choice but essentially the filmmakers chose a bad CGI of Jet Li over the real life Jet, arguably one the greatest human special effects of all time.

As a third movie The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor had low expectations when it was completed and somehow manages to come in worse than those expectations. This is a tremendously bad movie that leaves little doubt why Oscar nominee Rachel Weisz rejected the idea of coming back to the role of Evy. With a script this bad and a director this inept it's a wonder this film attracted the onscreen talent it did. I'm still a fan of Brenden Fraser and with the charming Journey To The Center of the earth in theaters, it's not to hard to forget Tomb of the Dragon Emporer. I just cannot forget it fast enough.

Movie Review: The Muppet Movie

The Muppet Movie (1979) 

Directed by James Frawley 

Written by Jerry Juhl, Jack Burns 

Starring Jim Henson, Frank Oz, Dom Deluise, James Coburn, Elliott Gould 

Release Date June 22nd, 1979 

Published August 24th, 2018 (in conjunction with the release of 'The Happy Time Murders) 

There is a reason I love to look back on and remember and write about old movies, they can feel like new again. A great example of that is The Muppet Movie from 1979. I remember being delighted by this movie when I was a very small child, I watched it consistently alongside episodes of The Muppet Show. It was formative for me, elements of my personality and my my humor were formed from watching, Kermit, Miss Piggy and Fozzy.

Jim Henson's love of the absurd became my love for the absurd. Something like Pigs in Space which appears so inconsequential today, was the height of comedy for me as a child and has remained influential for me as I love a big, booming announcer voice and the simple juxtaposition that comes from the idea of pigs piloting a spaceship. Watch it today and you get an even more nuanced gag that plays on the pigs acting like the hammy actors from 50’s and 60’s sci-fi cheapies and, of course, WIlliam Shatner.

The glory of The Muppets is in the clever subtlety. The send up of Hollywood and show business in The Muppets is never mean, it’s wildly clever. Are there digs at the pomposity of showbiz phonies? Of Course, but they are done in the fashion of an elbow in the ribs prodding and not a baseball bat to the head obviousness. Watching The Muppet Movie in the wake of the release of The Happytime Murders helped remind me what a true joy The Muppets are and always have been.

The Muppet Movie sets out to tell the origin story of Kermit and the gang. In lore, Kermit was sitting on a log singing “Rainbow Connection” and playing his banjo when a big Hollywood producer (Dom Deluise) floats up on a boat. The producer is lost and needs to get back to Hollywood but first he tells Kermit that Hollywood is hot to cast frogs for a big movie. Kermit isn’t immediately excited by the prospect of leaving the swamp but he has a desire for some adventure so he gets on his way.

From there it’s a stop at a place called El Sleezo where, after encountering Madeline Kahn, James Coburn and Telly Savalas, Kermit meets his new best friend Fozzy Bear. Fozzy is attempting his stand-up comedy routine and it is not going well so Kermit jumped on stage and still things did not go well. The scene proceeds to a silly conclusion but one that sets the table for the kind of wonderfully slight gags we’re going to enjoy for the rest of the movie.

As Kermit and Fozzy are getting out of town, Kermit is approached by an oily fast food shop owner, played by Charles Durning, and his lackey, played by Austin Pendleton. The fast food man wants Kermit to become the face of his Frog Legs franchise but Kermit recognizes how awful that idea is and he and Fozzy make a hasty escape. Durning and Pendleton follow after and show up when the plot needs kicked along. Eventually we meet the rest of the gang, including Gonzo and Miss Piggy and we get plenty of songs and gags along the way.

The Muppet Movie was directed by James Frawley a surprisingly indistinct director for such a distinctive movie. Frawley’s background is in directing television and in 1979 and even since after The Muppets, Frawley has had nothing to do with The Muppets. With the way he captures the tone and the joy of The Muppets, you might reasonably assume that Frawley was a regular collaborator but he wasn’t, he was just a good hired hand.

It’s likely that Jim Henson stepped to the fore to really direct The Muppet Movie and make sure that it met the expectations of fans. Frawley was perhaps brought on board to assure studio execs that there was an adult in the room while Henson and Frank Oz and the rest set about bringing there silly puppet show to life on the big screen. That’s not to take away from Frawley who I am willing to bet didn’t just stand aside and allow the inmates to run the asylum.

The other part that likely got The Muppet Movie made were the cameos. Big time stars jumped at the chance to be in The Muppet Movie for a bit of business. I mentioned James Coburn, Madeline Kahn, and Dom Deluise already. Charles Durning and Austin Pendleton are actually part of the plot but then there are tiny bits of fun from Richard Pryor, Bob Hope, Mel Brooks, and Steve Martin gets an extended cameo as an angry waiter that is a real show stealer.

There are numerous other cameos as well, watch for Carol Kane’s double cameo, the second time she shows up is one of the most random and hilarious gags in the movie. There is an inventiveness to the humor of The Muppets that is too often forgotten when we remember them as kids entertainers or for their wonderful songs. There is a runner in the movie about Hare Krishna’s that repeatedly gets a laugh, the Carol Kane bit is completely random yet ingenious and the pie gag involving Durning and Pendleton’s villains is wonderfully, brilliantly absurd and well imagined.

Then there are those wonderful songs. Rainbow Connection may be a tad sappy but the way it is introduced and then brought back late in the movie is a fine piece of musical film-making. Movin’ Right Along is one of the most underrated and adorable songs of all time. It’s also an incredible piece of pop song tune-smithing. Paul Williams is rightfully remembered as a genius and while he received an Academy Award for Rainbow Connection, he could have easily received the nomination for any one of the brilliant songs on this soundtrack.

The Happytime Murders, if it accomplishes one thing, it got me to watch The Muppet Movie again. It reminded me of how wonderfully clever and inventive The Muppet Movie is. I know the films are only really related in name to Henson, Jim Henson’s son, Brian directed The Happytime Murders, but they aren’t truly related. The Happytime Murders is comedically sloppy and tonally inept. The Muppet Movie is exactly the opposite and completely hilarious, the films are in two completely different universes.

The Happytime Murders really could have used a James Frawley to reign things in and perhaps make things coherent. 

Movie Review: The Nanny Diaries

The Nanny Diaries (2007) 

Directed by Shari Springer Berman, Robert Pulcini 

Written by Robert Pulcini, Shari Springer Berman 

Starring Scarlett Johansson, Laura Linney, Alicia Keys, Chris Evans, Paul Giamatti 

Release Date August 24th, 2007

Published August 23rd, 2007  

In an interview with the New York Times, directors Robert Pulcini and Sherry Springer Berman, the husband and wife team behind American Splendor, told a reporter that they really wanted to direct a mainstream Hollywood feature. Immediately, after reading that, I knew the movie was doomed. Trying to make a mainstream Hollywood movie is to fail at making a mainstream Hollywood movie. Immediately you link yourself to an almost untenable template of cliches and perfunctory scenes. Throw in a dull romantic subplot and you get the supremely disappointing The Nanny Diaries.

Adapted from the terrifically catty bestseller by Emma McLaughlin and Nicola Kraus, two real life, former New York Nannies, The Nanny Diaries stars Scarlett Johannson as Annie. An aimless college grad, Annie longs to get into anthropology. For now she is content to get out of her mom's house. When Annie meets 4 year old Grayer (Nicholas Art) she saves him from a collision with a careless jogger and is immediately offered the opportunity to become his nanny, though she has no child care experience whatsoever.

Sensing an interesting anthropological opportunity to observe the customs and mores of upper east side New Yorkers, Annie accepts the job and finds herself in an ugly world of consumption and child neglect. Grayer's parents, who Annie refers to as Mr. & Mrs. X (Paul Giamatti and Laura Linney), treat their son as an inconvenience, as a pawn, and as a status symbol.

Grayer's plight forces Annie to commit beyond her anthropological interests and try and find ways to protect the poor kid from his awful parents. Tacked onto this plot is a romance between Annie and a guy she calls Harvard Hottie (Chris Evans), a nickname she uses to keep him at a distance, a tactic that fails miserably after just one date.

What is lacking in The Nanny Diaries is the kind of catty insights and snarky wit of the book by Emma McLaughlin and Nicola Kraus. The film adaptation is a spineless version of the book that tries to go for heart strings instead of the funny bone and misses both quite badly. In their attempt to make a mainstream Hollywood comedy, directors Sherry Springer Berman and Robert Pulcini dull their sharp edges to appeal to a broader audience.

Someone should have told them that you can't please everyone no matter how bland and inoffensive you might be. Bland and inoffensive is certainly a good description of The Nanny Diaries which, though the parents played by Laura Linney and Paul Giamatti are truly awful people, the film refuses to judge them too harshly. Linney is almost sympathetic in her sadness, while Giamatti is off-screen too often for us to judge him much at all. Mr. X is a surface bastard with seemingly no motivation for his bad behavior.

The one element of The Nanny Diaries that works is Scarlett Johannson who plays the role that is given to her to the best of her abilities. Though hampered by a role that should be a little smarter, funnier and more biting and insightful, Johannson is, at the very least, charismatic and that goes a long way to improving an otherwise dismal movie. It's a shame that Johannson's romance with Chris Evans' Harvard Hottie never really sparks. The romantic subplot exists only to break the monotony of the dreary family plot and for that we are thankful. Unfortunately, the distractions are brief and Johansson and Evans never find that elusive romantic connection.

The Nanny Diaries lacks the spine to really tear into these awful parents and instead is understanding to a ludicrous extent. The actions of these parents is akin to emotional abuse and yet by the end we are to believe that young Grayer has hopes for a bright happy future without his nanny for protection. The film needed to be edgier, more judgmental, with the kind of catty insider perspective that made the book a beach read phenomenon.

Spineless and forgettable, The Nanny Diaries is a real disappointment. When independent directors like Sherry Springer Berman and Robert Pulcini move into the realm of the mainstream the hope is they won't bend to mainstream conventions but will bend convention to there artistic will. That doesn't happen in The Nanny Diaries and the result is a movie that tries to please all audiences and ends up pleasing few.

Movie Review: The New World

The New World (2005) 

Directed by Terence Malick 

Written by Terence Malick 

Starring Q'orianka Kilcher, Colin Farrell, Christian Bale, Christopher Plummer, Wes Studi 

Release Date December 25th, 2005

Published Decemeber 23rd, 2005 

A Terence Malick movie is an event. Not just because that, in his thirty plus year career, he has only directed four features. It's because each of those four pictures have been accomplished by a master director. That doesn't mean that Malick or his work is universally beloved. Only that his work is undeniably the work of a director who's heart and soul goes into every film.

All of Malick's features have the divisive of power of great art that brings out strong emotions in those that love it and those that do not. Malick's latest feature may be the ultimate example of his polarizing work. The New World has split the critics and moviegoers more than any of his previous films. The New World examines the founding of America in a stylized epic fashion that utilizes its environment as a character as much as its actors. It's one extraordinary experiment.

By 1609, The New World had long been discovered by Europe, but it was yet to be colonized. A ship carrying the very first Americans, as they would someday come to be called, arrived with all of the grandeur and arrogance that has come to define the American character in the nearly 400 years since. Great English ships with huge sails soaring arrive in what would become Jamestown to establish the first colony.

Led by Captain Newport (Christopher Plummer) the settlers are aware of the indigenous people, or naturals as they call them, that await them in the new world, and Newport sets the tone early on, urging his people to engage the naturals peacefully. The first encounter between these two tribes is a fascinatingly Malick experience. Mostly wordless, they meet in a field of high weeds with the soundtrack bereft of all but the sounds of nature. The naturals greet these alien newcomers with wary fascination; the settlers with edgy excitement bordering on murderous fear.

After this initial encounter, the naturals watch as these newcomers begin building their makeshift forts and homes. There is more interaction but the language and cultural barriers lead often to violent misunderstandings. Eventually it is decided that in order to make peace with the naturals, a group of settlers must go forth to their encampment and attempt to establish trade, while Newport sails back to England to gather more supplies.

Captain John Smith (Colin Farrell), who arrived in the new world as a captive, is chosen to lead this expedition because of his military training. The trip initially becomes a violent encounter as the naturals defend their camp from this outside intruder. Smith is beaten and captured. Taken to Chief Powhaton (August Schellenberg) he is sentenced to die until the chief's daughter, nameless in the film though history calls her Pocahontas (Q'orianka Kilcher), throws herself across Smith's body and begs for mercy. The Chief acquiesces to his daughter and Smith is allowed to live. Staying among the naturals, Smith and Pocahontas begin a unique and transfixing love affair.

The story of The New World continues beyond Smith and Pocahontas' love affair and basically bypasses the story of the founding of America to tell the story of this extraordinary young girl who braved the frontiers of her family, her tribe and the unknown dangers of the of Americans and their English home. When John Smith chooses to disappear, Pocahontas meets John Rolfe (Christian Bale) and eventually makes her way to England in scenes that are just as powerful as the initial scenes in set in America.

The New World is as much a beautiful travelogue vision of early America and England as it is a history lesson or a love story. All of these diverse elements work because each is part of the same symphony, all being conducted by Terence Malick. His mastery of visuals is unquestioned, and his legend only grows with the wondrous landscapes of The New World. Terence Malick is underrated is in his storytelling which, in this case, mixes perfectly a realistic representation of American history with a powerful and deeply moving love story.

15-year-old Q'Orianka Kilcher is the centerpiece of The New World and is all the more amazing for the fact that this is one epic film that she holds together brilliantly. Malick's camera seeks her at every moment and bathes in her radiant spirit. It is not difficult to see why Malick cast this beautiful teenager, she has that innocent star quality and assuredness that can only be ascribed to the naivete of youth. She is never nervous about being the center of an epic movie because she doesn't appear to realize that she should be.

Be forewarned that The New World is not for every audience. Fans of Malick, like myself, walked into The New World expecting to fall in love with it and were not disappointed. On the other hand, non-fans may find Malick's love of scenery and luxuriant pacing off-putting. The film is long, at nearly three hours, something else that might test the patience of non-Malick fans.

However, if you consider yourself a film fan, I cannot imagine not loving The New World. Malick's painterly directorial strokes, Q'Orianka Kilcher's enthralling performance and the wide historical scope of the film are just the kind of ambitious film-making exploits that film buffs love. Malick is an auteur, a visionary whose genius makes even his indulgent flaws endearing.

A work of wondrous imagination and skill, The New World is Terence Malick at the height of his powers. Not for all audiences but for an audience willing to indulge a masterful director's vision, The New World is a more than rewarding experience. If you can't tell, I love this movie!