Movie Review: The Rocker

The Rocker (2008) 

Directed by Peter Cattaneo 

Written by Maya Forbes, Wallace Wolodarsky 

Starring Rainn Wilson, Christina Applegate, Jeff Garlin, Josh Gad, Teddy Geiger, Emma Stone 

Release Date August 20th, 2008 

Published August 19th, 2008 

The premise of The Rocker sounds like a movie Jack Black turned down. A 40 something former drummer for an 80's hair band ends up broke, living in his sister's attic before ending up playing drums for his nephews band. It reads like a sequel to School of Rock, with a few minor tweaks. The Rocker doesn't star Jack Black however but Rainn Wilson, from TV's The Office. Even though the premise sets him up for failure, Wilson acquits himself well in the shadow of JB, and gives  a good time rocking performance.

22 years ago Vesuvius was a heavy metal band on the verge of major record label success and their drummer, Robert 'Fish' Fishman was about live his rock star dream. The success came but not for Robert who the band dropped in favor of the label owners nephew. After losing out on rock stardom,  Robert spent the next 22 years a bitter mess, working as an office drone, longing to recapture the glory of rock. 

After losing his job Robert is forced to move in with his sister (Jane Lynch), her husband (Jeff Garlin) and his nephew Matt (Josh Gad). Matt is in a band and in a not so surprising twist of plot, the band just lost their drummer, two days before their first gig, playing the prom. Matt's bandmates, brooding singer Curtis (Teddy Geiger), and female bassist Amelia (Emma Stone, Superbad), want to find a more age appropriate drummer but Matt pushes for uncle Fish.

Though he nearly blows the prom gig, Fish turns out to be a great drummer and a strong positive influence on the band. When a YouTube video of Fish playing drums naked gets the band's music heard by millions, stardom comes knocking for a second time and Fish has the kind of second chance that doesn't come around very often.

The Rocker has a strict adherence to convention that is really the antithesis of rock n' roll. The film proceeds from one plot point to the next like clockwork. If you can't predict every step of this movie from beginning to end you are not trying. Director Peter Cattaneo (The Full Monty), directing a script by former Simpsons scribe Wallace Wolodarsky and Maya Forbes; moves the undistinguished screenplay from paper to screen with little innovation or invention.

All of the success of The Rocker lies in the performance of Rainn Wilson and lucky we are that he is up to the challenge. Wilson's Rocker is sloppy and dull witted, obtuse and self-involved, but he's also sweet, funny and earnestly committed to the life and love of being a rock star. Fish seems to genuinely care about the kids in the band and despite his excesses, he eventually proves himself as a positive force.

Wilson's performance plays well with the overall familiarity of the plot, making the predictability easier to take because the vibe is so congenial. The Rocker is so gentle and feather light that it floats by. 88 minutes is really all this plot could sustain and the filmmakers were smart not to let the movie linger. As much as we like Wilson's performance, by the end we are ready to say goodbye. 

Another smart decision by the makers of The Rocker was hiring Chad Fischer to write the music for the film. Often a movie about musicians will skimp on the music. The pop tunes of The Rocker, sung by star Teddy Geiger, are really good pop tunes, songs you can believe would become top ten radio hits. If the film is a hit don't be surprised to hear a song like 'Tomorrow Never Comes' or 'Bitter' make a radio splash.

The Rocker is annoyingly formulaic but star Rainn Wilson and the music of Teddy Geiger and Chad Fischer keep it from becoming tedious. Wilson is a star on the rise and he appears to have a bright future as a goofball leading man. See The Rocker for Rainn Wilson and stay for the surprisingly strong pop tunes of Geiger and Fischer. Yes, you will see every turn of plot coming, but Rainn Wilson, at the very least, will keeping you smiling through the predictability. 

Movie Review: The Road

The Road (2009) 

Directed by John Hillcoat 

Written by Joe Penhall 

Starring Viggo Mortensen, Kodi Smit McPhee, Robert Duvall, Charlize Theron, Guy Pearce 

Release Date November 25th, 2009 

Published November 24th, 2009 

I had to suffer through The Road on two separate occasions just to reach the end. Director John Hillcoat's bleak vision of the end of the world is so overwrought, ugly and cynical that the first time I had to walk out and get some air. The second time I suffered the whole of The Road and then needed a long shower to forget it. In some unspecified future the world simply begins to consume itself. Whether what happened was environmental, nuclear war, or some kind of biblical apocalypse we are not to know. What we do know is that inhabiting this world are The Man (Viggo Mortenson) and The Boy (Codi Smit McPhee).

Together they are making their way to the coast where rumors of a colony of some kind near the ocean give them some kind of hope for the future. More likely, however, is the idea that The Man has invented this idea to give them something to do so that The Boy won't lose hope. That is pretty well it for plot. The film is more or less a series of dank, gloomy scenes of sadness and degrading landscape. Things are so awful that even the trees seem to take a sentient stance and decide to simply topple to the ground. The journey along the road for The Man and The Boy is a slow, repetitive journey toward death.

Is The Road well realized? Yes, Director John Hillcoat can certainly suck the life out of landscape and star Viggo Mortenson is exceptional at becoming the physical embodiment of decay but don't ask either what the point of it all is. I tried imagining that the point of The Road was to have no point at all, that went nowhere and I was left really not caring. I have not read Cormac McCarthy's much praised novel on which the film is based but I am familiar enough with McCarthy and have read enough about the novel to know that the point in McCarthy's book is as much about his words as it about anything else. It seems The Road the novel was more about the way McCarthy wrote it than about any vision of the apocalypse.

What may have been at the heart of the movie The Road is a misunderstanding. Director Hillcoat and screenwriter Joe Penhall seem to have assumed that Cormac McCarthy was offering a vicious and unyielingly bitter judgement on humanity and offering a vision of the end of the world. The reality may be, again not having read the book, that McCarthy was working in prose and that this is where his vision and wordplay took him.

However the movie The Road came about, whether it is true to McCarthy's vision or not, it is far too depressing, vile and gloomy for me to recommend. Again, I respect the technical work of John Hillcoat who could suck the life out of even the most scenic locales and the work of Mr. Mortenson who immerses himself wonderfully in every role. I just cannot abide such a dark vision without some point. I don't want to live in a world where I cannot find meaning somewhere. There seems to be no meaning, point or purpose anywhere in the ugly cynicism of The Road.

Movie Review: The Ring 2

The Ring 2 (2005) 

Directed by Hideo Nakata

Written by Ehren Kruger 

Starring Naomi Watts, Simon Baker, David Dorfman, Elizabeth Perkins, Gary Cole and Sissy Spacek 

Release Date March 18th 2005 

Published March 17th, 2005 

When The Ring was released in 2002 and became a nationwide sensation with 129 million in box office sales and there was no doubt that there would be a sequel.  Hell, the Japanese version of the film spawned multiple sequels so there was even material from which to borrow for a new movie if necessary.  The real question was whether the story they told in the sequel would matter to viewers, not that it mattered much to marketers who had the poster mocked and approved on The Ring's second weekend atop the box office. Unfortunately there is no more story worth telling, or if there is the producers of Ring Two failed to locate it.

A quick recap of the original concept: The Ring was founded on the idea of a crazy looking videotape that, when viewed, left the viewer with seven days to live. A girl trapped in a well used the supernatural powers of the videotape to escape and claim anyone who watched the tape. Naomi Watts starred in The Ring as a journalist named Rachel who saw the tape while searching out a story about the urban legend surrounding it, a legend that may have claimed the life of her young niece.

Rachel is back in Ring Two with her preternaturally creepy son Aiden (David Dorfman). The two have escaped the tape's supernatural curse by running off to a small town somewhere in Oregon where Rachel has taken a job as a reporter for a small town paper run by Max (Simon Baker). How location could prevent a supernatural being from finding victims is a logical question that the film fails to address, among many other failures in logic and works of luck and chance that would be forgivable were they not so numerous.

Unfortunately for Rachel and Aiden, the tape has been traveling with a new legend attached to it. Teens are passing it around under the pretense that if you can get someone else to watch after you the curse is transferred from you to them. This theory fails a teenager who tries to pass it off on an unsuspecting girl. This is in the opening ten minutes and for some reason is the last time in the film we will hear about the killer video.

From there the film changes the supernatural elements, losing the videotape and randomly deciding that Samara, the killer chick in the video, can attack by possessing Aiden, Exorcist style. This leads Rachel back to that well in the basement of Samara's house and to Samara's real mother, an institutionalized woman played by Sissy Spacek. None of this leads to any satisfying conclusion though to the film's credit there is no overt set up for another sequel.

Ring 2 is shockingly bad. Truly shocking considering the talent of director Hideo Tanaka whose original Ringu is terrifically stylish and suspenseful. Ring director Gore Verbinski skated by in the original by being visually inventive and taking advantage of the films unique premise. Ring 2 abandons the original premise and even much of the strong visual aspects, replacing them with what amounts to a series of rip-offs of other horror movies.

Ring 2 is the perfect example of what I have called 'sequelitis.' It's a film that exists solely as a concept, a poster, a series of demographic marketing numbers and never anything resembling a real film.

Movie Review: The Ring

The Ring (2002) 

Directed by Gore Verbinski 

Written by Ehren Kruger 

Starring Naomi Watts, Martin Henderson, David Dorfman, Brian Cox, Jane Alexander 

Release Date October 18th, 2002 

Published October 17th, 2002 

With Halloween around the corner, movie fans are making their plans for Halloween movie watching. Most will stick to the classics: Jason, Freddy, and Rocky Horror. Some fans will take a chance on new movies like Ghost Ship and The Ring. Will either of these films become Halloween rituals? We shall wait and see on Ghost Ship. As for The Ring, with its stylishness and mystery, it has a chance at achieving cult status.

The Ring stars Mulholland Drive’s Naomi Watts, an actress used to stylish mystery, as Rachel Keller, a journalist investigating the unexplained death of her niece. Investigators and doctors have no clue what could have killed this normal, healthy 15-year-old girl. What the investigators failed to notice were the mysterious deaths of three of the girl's friends in separate locations, with each of the kids dying at exactly the same time: 10 p.m.

From a friend of her niece, Rachel learns of an urban legend about a videotape. If you watch it you die exactly one week later. A typically skeptical Rachel begins investigating more benign leads, which takes her to a cabin not far from the girls' Seattle home. At the cabin, Rachel stumbles across the tape and watches it for herself. Suddenly the details described in the legend begin to come true; an eerie phone call informs Rachel she has one week to live and images from the tape begin to appear in reality.

Rachel then takes the tape to her ex-husband, Noah (Martin Henderson), who happens to be a video expert. He also watches the tape and is puzzled at his inability to determine its origin. The tape doesn’t have the distinguishing marks of an average tape. Adding to Rachel’s mounting terror is her strangely sullen but intuitive son Aiden (David Dorfman) who accidentally views the tape, making the investigation even more urgent.

We have seen this conceit before. In fact, we saw it earlier this year in Fear Dot Com. In that film, if you viewed the Web site in the title, you would die in three days. In each film, the investigators believe that if they find the source they can stop the killer. However, there are many subtle differences. Fear Dot Com is a poorly lit, slowly plotted, poorly acted, deeply dull film, more obsessed with unusual visuals than with creating a compelling story. The Ring is more stylish, with an occasional arty quality that is notable in the killer video.

The performances by Naomi Watts, Martin Henderson and David Dorfman are all perfectly pitched, with each creating interesting characters that are never merely manipulated by the plot. The film also has a great mystery to it. At first, the killer is unseen and the more the killer stays off screen the more suspense the film builds.

In fact, it isn’t until the killer is revealed that the film loses steam. It’s a shame that as good as most of The Ring is that director Gore Verbinsky can’t resist the false ending. The ending is highly unsatisfying, a shameful Hollywood tease for a sequel in case the film is profitable. Why is it the first ending of a modern horror movie is almost always the better ending? 

The same thing happened in Red Dragon recently, the Silence of the Lambs spinoff. Putting aside the distasteful ending, The Ring isn’t a bad movie. For most of the film, it’s a suspenseful, engaging horror mystery and I recommend it for your Halloween viewing. However, you're better off leaving when you think it should end instead of waiting for the film itself to end.

Movie Review: The Recruit

The Recruit (2003) 

Directed by Roger Donaldson 

Written by Roger Towne, Kurt Wimmer, Mitch Glazer 

Starring Al Pacino, Colin Farrell, Bridget Moynihan, Gabriel Macht 

Release Date January 31st, 2003 

Published January 30th, 2003 

Is Al Pacino's act running thin? An unquestionably brilliant actor for most of his career, Pacino has been uneven at best in his most recent work. His last, the Hollywood satire Simone, was a middling comedy that featured a mugging, forced performance by Pacino. However, the film before that, the ingenious thriller Insomnia, showed Pacino at his best. His newest work continues the spate of uneven performances as Pacino plays mentor/tormentor to Colin Farrell in The Recruit.

In The Recruit, Al Pacino plays CIA recruiter Walter Burke, a grizzled vet whose job it is to find the next generation of agents. Burke has his eye on an MIT student named James Clayton (Farrell), whose father may or may not have been an agent himself. Clayton isn't interested at first, but suspicions as to whether his father was an agent and whether Burke knew him, and how his father died, cause Clayton to join up.

Soon Clayton is shipped off to the Farm, the CIA's highly secretive spy training ground. Burke is the Farm's lead trainer and though he was friendly with Clayton while recruiting him, Burke is quick to let Clayton know that things are different on the Farm. From now on, nothing is what it seems as students and teachers turn tables on each other in a series of testy spy games meant to wash out the weak and send the strong on to the CIA. While at the Farm, Clayton meets Layla (Bridget Moynihan), another potential agent whose alluring chemistry with Clayton may or may not be an act.

The Recruit is a construct of numerous setups meant to lead the audience in one direction and then pull the rug out from under them. Unfortunately, the setups are rather ham-handed and lack any real suspense. Any intelligent audience member can see where the film is going. That is, until the end--which is a minor surprise--but by then, the movie has spent so much time jerking the audience around with one random twist after another, it becomes hard to really care.

Farrell is very good in a role that requires his character to be very smart but yet, easily manipulated by Pacino's character who may a bad guy or may be a good guy. Farrell has the look of a star; he's charismatic and engaging with a strong good-guy swagger. There are moments where he evokes a young Mel Gibson. Like it or not, that Hollywood buzz about Farrell being the next big thing may be more than just hype.

If the rest of The Recruit were as good as Farrell, it would have been a very good film. Unfortunately, director Roger Donaldson takes this intelligent character and buries him with an uninteresting love interest, a hammy Al Pacino, and a plot that twists and turns so much as to exhaust the audience rather than entertain it. Colin Farrell has a very bright future in front of him and The Recruit will do little to slow his momentum as he builds towards bigger roles in Daredevil and the delayed, but much buzzed about, Phone Booth. The Recruit will be just another film on his resume soon enough.

Movie Review: The Reaping

The Reaping (2007)

Directed by Stephen Hopkins

Written by Carey Hayes, Chad Hayes 

Starring Hilary Swank, David Morrissey, Idris Elba, AnnaSophia Robb, Stephen Rea 

Release Date April 5th, 2007

Published April 4th, 2007

Is Hilary Swank finally feeling her Oscar curse? After winning two Oscars, a feat only two other actresses in history can claim, Swank continued her strong run with the terrific drama Freedom Writers. That film however, despite solid reviews was not a box office winner. Now comes the low-point of Ms. Swank's post Oscar career. The Reaping is a dull witted, thrill-less thriller. A horror film with little or no horror. A religious based scare-fest that fails to be either really religious or scary.

In The Reaping Hilary Swank plays Katherine Winter a former missionary turned college professor whose hobby is debunking religious miracles. She touts having visited 47 miracles and found 47 scientific explanations for the so called miracle. Her loss of faith is related to her time in Africa with father Castigan (Stephen Rea) where her husband and pre-teen daughter were slaughtered by fearful tribesmen who believed the sacrifices would save the lives of others.

Catherine's latest debunking assignment takes her to a small town in Louisiana called Haven. There a science teacher, Doug (David Morrissey), is trying to convince the townsfolk that they are not under attack from the ten biblical plagues. The plagues that the people believe are being visited upon them are believed by many to be coming from a teenage girl (Anna Sophia Robb) whose brother died under mysterious circumstances.

Since the death of the girl's brother, the river surrounding the town has seemingly turned to blood, frogs are falling from the trees, and soon each of the biblical plagues will have made an appearance, killing dozens of people. Is it god, the devil, or does this teenage girl represent one or the other? These are the questions that Catherine must answer before the next plague becomes the last.

I'll say this for Hillary Swank in The Reaping, she has never looked this good before. Swank has always been unconventionally attractive but in The Reaping she is tanned and toned and her sometimes severe features have been toned down through some sort of cosmetics work and all of this really works for her. If I was recommending movies solely on the attractiveness of the star, I would totally recommend The Reaping.

That however, is not something I would ever actually do. As great looking as Hillary Swank is in The Reaping, the movie is a dopey series of clichés leading to an ending more predictable than your average romantic comedy. Director Stephen Hopkins (The Life and Death of Peter Sellers) is not untalented. The problem is the story he's telling isn't all that compelling.

The Reaping plays like an above average production of one of those lame ass Left Behind movies where highly religious characters spout this and that about God's love until the wicked are smited and the righteous live on. Bad actors, overly earnest dialogue, and low budget aesthetics give those films a camp appeal that might have made The Reaping a ripe parody. Unfortunately, this high budget flick is deathly serious about its dopey, superstitious plot.

Is this the Oscar curse finally catching up with Hillary Swank? Maybe? Maybe not? The failure of The Reaping seems to be more a function of genre than of superstition. Aside from last years The Omen remake, religious themed horror flicks haven't delivered big scares since the 70's. Movie's like Bless The Child, Lost Souls and Skeleton Key have all starred beautiful starlets battling satanic forces and each has stunk out loud.

Is that because we are simply tired of rote plots and tired situations? Probably. It may also be that the old fire and brimstone doesn't really do much to put fear into people anymore. In a post 9/11 world, can the perceived horrors of potential damnation compete with the real life horrors in front of our eyes? The Reaping is also rather outdated in its reliance on the supernatural in an era where a more realistic, visceral and bloody style of horror dominates the market.

Whatever the reason, supernatural or otherwise, The Reaping is a failure. Not scary enough for horror. Not bad enough for camp, the film flickers on to the screen and simply lays there. Hilary Swank looks gorgeous and is impeccably talented but even two Oscars can't roust these characters and this situation into anything lively enough to be called entertaining.

Movie Review: The Real Cancun

The Real Cancun (2003) 

Directed by Rick De Oliveira 

Written by Brian Caldirola 

Starring Benjamin Fletcher, Laura Ramsey, Snoop Dogg, Simple Plan 

Release Date April 25th, 2003 

Published April 30th, 2003 

What do you get when you cross “Girls Gone Wild” with MTV's “The Real World?” You get the tepid sociological experiment The Real Cancun. Taking the conceits of reality TV and translating them to the loosened standards of the big screen, the producers of America’s first reality show have created a new category that is not quite documentary but not exactly verite either. It's a new genre that is being called "reality movies.” Reality in it's pseudo TV definition. But thanks to this film’s box office belly flop, the genre is likely DOA. Shot over 1 one week, edited in 6 weeks and in theaters just as quickly, The Real Cancun is about a group of strangers thrown together in a beautiful Cancun hotel and filmed 24 hours a day, just like “The Real World.”

This collection of buff bodies and minimal intellect includes a pair of African American pals, Paul and Jorell, who speak more “player” than they act. A pair of friends, David and Heidi, who swear they are just friends (Yeah right). There are the twins, Nicole and Roxanne who provide the film’s “Girls Gone Wild” moment with their tandem flashing in the wet T-shirt contest. There is also Allan, the virginal 18 year old who before Cancun has never drank alcohol before. How long do you think that lasts? Another virginal character is Laura, a seemingly naïve 20 year old from Wisconsin who surprisingly maintains her virtue throughout the film.

Aside from Alan, the guys in this film are interchangeable caricatures of the worst in male stereotypes. There is the vapid underwear model Casey, who's catchphrase "Any of you girls wanna make out" is featured heavily in the film’s ads, and who is as stupid as his pick up line. Jeremy, who claims to have a girlfriend back home is the first in the house to 'get some.' In fact, he gets some from one of the girls in the house, though which interchangeably attractive girl it was escapes me. Jeremy then proceeds to ignore the girl the rest of the week. 

The other two guys, Matt and Fletch, pal around while Matt attempts to get a woman named Sarah to have sex with him. Sarah is a Vegas girl who claims she has a boyfriend she loves back home, this does not sop Matt in any way. Matt and Fletch are portrayed as such dopey testosterone-fueled morons that they will likely be the first to complain about how they were edited. Hey guys, before you complain remember you were the one wearing the Female Body Inspector T-shirts.

The Real Cancun is played as much as a good time as it is a social experiment. Of course it doesn't take much to mix alcohol and 20-somethings and end up with sex and various other debaucheries. What is surprising is how tame it really is. Anyone going for the boobs and sex won't be entirely disappointed but this is not “Girls Gone Wild.” For example, when one of the twins goes topless in the wet t-shirt contest, she covers her breasts with her hands as much as she can.

There really isn't much of a story here, though producers would like you to fall for Allan and his coming of age, so to speak. But Allan is so amazingly clueless that his minor personality switch isn't really that compelling. The movie’s best story arc involves Paul and Sky, a gorgeous African-American girl who has strict requirements on how she is to be courted and when Paul doesn't follow the rules her rebuff is quick and brutal. Paul doesn't sulk long and is soon in the sack with some girl off the beach, after which he spends his remaining days failing to win Sky back.

The Real Cancun is a tepid experiment in trying to convert the conceit of “The Real World” to the big screen. Though any of these people would make the cut on the TV show, their adventures aren't interesting enough to warrant a feature film. Remake The Real Cancun as a weekly series on HBO and maybe you have enough cheap thrills for late night TV.