Movie Review: The Rundown

The Rundown (2003) 

Directed by Peter Berg 

Written by R.J Stewart, James Vanderbilt 

Starring Dwayne The Rock Johnson, Seann William Scott, Christopher Walken, Rosario Dawson

Release Date September 26th, 2003 

Published September 25th, 2003 

After The Scorpion King made Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson a viable action superstar, many were quick to anoint him as the heir apparent to the Schwarzenegger-Stallone action star crown. The Rock need only prove himself in a film that wasn't connected to a previously successful vehicle (Scorpion King being a continuation of a character from The Mummy franchise).That proof of The Rock's star-power comes with his star turn in The Rundown, an action comedy that pairs the Rock's muscles with the motor mouth comedy of Seann William Scott for a fun action spectacle.

In The Rundown The Rock takes on the role of Beck, a henchman for some kind of mob figure. After failing to retrieve a debt for his boss, Beck is given the option of one more job. This job that will get Beck the money he needs to get out of the thug business and into his dream gig, owning a restaurant. However, this not your everyday gig for a thug. Instead, this job involves going into the dangerous jungles of Brazil to capture the mobster’s erstwhile son and return him to Los Angeles. 

On the surface, that might sounds simple enough but when Beck gets to the city of El Dorado, or as the locals have dubbed it, Helldorado, it's hot, it's dangerous and it's run by a whacked-out nut job played by Christopher Walken. Beck is quick to find the kid, Travis (Seann William Scott), but Walken's weirdo dictator and his wacky henchmen have plans of their own for Travis. Seems the kid has happened upon the whereabouts of a valuable artifact that could be worth millions.

Walken isn't the only one with designs on Travis either. Jungle rebels lead by the lovely Marianna (Rosario Dawson) also want to get their hands on the artifact so that they can get their people out from under Walken's tyrannous reign. This leaves Beck stuck in the middle of all of the fighting between Walken's thugs, the rebel’s, and in one scene some various amorous monkeys. And Beck is also fighting with Travis who's motor mouth is far more brutal than his fighting.

The Rundown is predictable, certainly not high minded or idealistic. What the movie does have going for it however, is some fun action scenes, some truly brutal looking stunt work, and a strong enough amount of wit provided by The Rock's put upon performance. Johnson's incredulous reactions to the numerous indignities visited upon his character is the film’s strongest source of comedy. That and it's physical humor which has the Rock hanging upside down, fighting monkeys and getting beat up by a group of Brazilian Little People. 

The films stunt work does press the boundaries of believability, such as an early scene where Rock and Scott roll down a hill and take a brutal amount of punishment. It's nothing a little suspension of disbelief can't get you past but it does feel a bit excessive. As directed by Peter Berg, The Rundown combines the kind of 80's style action movie where no one runs out of bullets with the 90's style action movie where you shoot and pause for an ironic aside before shooting again. It's clichéd but the actors make it tolerable with fun, witty, and knowing performances.

And then, Christopher Walken delivers yet another of his iconic weirdo performances. Be sure to watch out for a particularly peculiar rant from Walken's would be dictator about the tooth fairy. It's a bizarrely long monologue that is delivered in a way that only Christopher Walken could deliver it. Walken gives this monologue with his entire being, his fully physicality embodies this moment. It's completely outside of the movie and stops the whole story dead in its tracks but, it's worth it because Walken is incredibly entertaining. 

Even with a show stealer like Christopher Walken however, The Rundown belongs to The Rock, who I realize wants to be known as Dwayne Johnson but as a wrestling fan he will always be The Rock to me. Top lining his first stand-alone action vehicle, The Rock oozes the kind of star quality that you just can't teach. It's a great star making performance in a film that I hope will make him a star for good. The action genre needs The Rock's cool and charisma to carry it over clichéd plots and endless violence of stock action movies like The Ruindown. 

Movie Review: The Runaways

The Runaways (2010) 

Directed by Fioria Sigismondi 

Written by Fioria Sigismondi 

Starring Kristen Stewart, Dakota Fanning, Michael Shannon 

Release Date March 19th, 2010 

Published March 18th, 2010 

No wonder we are so hyper-vigilant about teen sexuality these days. Apparently in the 1970's every adult in the country was looking the other way. How else to explain how “The Runaways” became overnight sensations selling the sexuality of 15 year old lead singer Cherie Currie all the way to world tours and platinum records.

Now, I'm sure there was outrage at the time but that is not in the movie “The Runaways.” Instead we get a film that is as eager to capitalize on the sexuality of 16 year old Dakota Fanning as much as real life record exec Kim Fowley, portrayed in the film by Oscar nominee Michael Shannon, who eagerly and greedily exploited the real Cherie Currie.

Based on Currie's biographical account of her life, “Neon Angel,” “The Runaways” stars Fanning as the David Bowie influenced Currie and “Twiilght's” Kristen Stewart as the Suzy Quatro loving Joan Jett. Thrust together by record exec Kim Fowley, who saw the novel possibilities of an all girl punk band just as punk was bubbling up to the mainstream, the two teenagers from broken homes bonded and made memorable music and more together.

Find my full length review at Beat.Media 

Movie Review: The Ruins

The Ruins (2008) 

Directed by Carter Smith 

Written by Scott Smith 

Starring Jonathan Tucker, Jena Malone, Shawn Ashmore, Laura Ramsey, Joe Anderson 

Release Date April 4th, 2008

Published April 3rd, 2008 

For the past couple of years we have been saddled with horror porn assaulting moviegoers across the country with the ugliest possible images sick minds could think to film. This has served to both cause many critics to wretch uncontrollably and to distract critics from the other forms of junk horror being dumped onto the other screens. Take for instance The Ruins a goofball horror flick too squeamish to be horror porn but not smart enough or wild enough to be in the intellectual vain of Saw or the freewheeling thrills of Nightmare on Elm Street. Rather, The Ruins settles in to that awkward middle ground inhabited by junk horror like The Ring and The Grudge and other such ’The’ horror films.

Jonathan Tucker stars in The Ruins as Jeff a med student on vacation with his girlfriend Jenny (Jena Malone), her best friend Stacy (Laura Ramsey), and Stacy's boyfriend Eric (Shawn Ashmore). Together they have spent the week lounging by the pool and getting drunker and drunker. On their last day at this Mexican resort they have been enticed by a fellow traveler named Mathias (John Anderson) to get away from the drinks and the pool and get some culture. Mathias has a map to some ancient ruins that is not on any of the sanctioned maps of the countryside.

They will journey deep into the jungle where Mathias expects his brother will be waiting for them. The trip is not all that arduous, they find the ruins with little challenge. However, once they arrive at the ruins the tourists find themselves surrounded by locals who won’t let them leave. Their only option is to climb to the top of the ruins and hope the locals will leave. When the locals refuse to follow them and instead begin to quarantine the area, our heroes quickly realize there is something very wrong with these ruins. The vines and weeds that surround the the giant temple are coming to life and soon the ancient curse will reveal itself.

If we wanted to try and apply a meaning to The Ruins, perhaps, we could infer that he weeds that surround the ruins and begin sucking bodies into them, hissing at our heroes, crawling into and out of their bodies, could be seen as some kind of drug metaphor. The movie kind of reminded me of those extremely lame and heavy-handed ONDCP ads that show kids burning their possessions or building weed cocoons and emerging as middle aged fat guys. It's possible that the makers of The Ruins could be positing an anti-pot message that says if you smoke weed it invades your entire body, eating you from the inside out but that's a big stretch. Nothing in the movie indicates that anything means anything beyond being kind of gross. 

The Ruins is based on a novel by Scott B. Smith, and directed by Carter Smith and is typical of the junk horror genre that has delivered movies like Turistas or Cabin Fever. It features some of the same cardboard characters, the same shallow anti-American stereotypes, and the same Clearasil splashed teen heartthrobs who seem to gravitate toward death by serial killer or supernatural force in movies like this. There is absolutely nothing special, memorable, or remotely interesting in The Ruins. The film enacts a familiar plot in the most basic way, provides a couple of grossout moments and is over so fast you will likely forget you saw it before you get to your car. 

Movie Review: The Roommate

The Roommate (2011) 

Directed by Christian E Christiansen 

Written by Sonny Malhi 

Starring Leighton Meester, Minka Kelly, Cam Gigandet, Aly Michalka, Daneel Harris, Billy Zane 

Release Date February 4th, 2011 

Published February 3rd, 2011 

It's odd to think of a little movie like “Single White Female” and deem it iconic. Yet, there are few women in the past 20 years who have moved in with another woman and not thought for a brief moment of the potential for a Bridget Fonda/Jennifer Jason Leigh scenario before laughing it off. ”Single White Female” was nothing all that new or inventive; rather it was simply more stylish and well acted than many similar genre efforts. 

In an attempt to recreate that iconic style and culturally relevant kitsch, the makers of the new thriller “The Roommate” have offered us a copy of “Single White Female,” a black and white, low-light copy from a machine that is low on toner. ”Friday Night Lights” star Minka Kelly is “The Roommate” of the title, Sara Matthews. Sara is a daughter of privilege from Los Angeles who is attending a nameless L.A College to get out from under her parents watchful eyes. 

Sara's college roommate is Rebecca (“Gossip Girl's” Leighton Meester), fresh off the bus from Des Moines, Iowa and hoping to make it as a big city fashion designer. Sara and Rebecca are fast friends but others are quick to see Sara's dark side. Tracy (Aly Michalka), for one, is immediately creeped out by Sara's too friendly demeanor, and is soon avoiding Rebecca at Sara's warning. Meanwhile, Rebecca meets and falls for Stephen (Cam Gigandet) and while he doesn't have any dangerous encounters with Sara, we witness her stalking him in the library without his knowledge.

Every scene in “The Roommate” coheres to a similar scene in “Single White Female” right down to a murder committed by the psycho roommate while in the guise of the non-psycho roommate. Remakes are becoming relatively typical but are we truly far enough away from a movie like “Single White Female,” which was released in 1992, for a complete rehash? Taken on its own “The Roommate” is flat and joyless; an exercise in tedium that lacks not merely in originality but in any kind of invention. Even those unfamiliar with “Single White Female” will assume the beats of this story and easily determine the simpleminded 'twists' well before they turn.

”Single White Female”, at the very least, was not afraid of being trashy, indeed, that film traded in high class trash to become iconic of its brand of thriller. “The Roommate” could have used a little trashiness to dress up these flat, boring characters. Instead, with a PG-13 rating the closest we get to trashy is the sight of one character's belly ring in a shower scene.

I don't mean to come off perverted but when you trade in stock characters, unambitious dialogue, and a boring, overly familiar plot, the least you could do is trash it up with stronger girl fights and a little more bare flesh. If you are going to bore us to tears with a mere rehash of a better movie at least dress it down with some high class campy trash. Is that too much to ask?

Movie Review: The Rookie

The Rookie (2002) 

Directed by John Lee Hancock 

Written by Mike Rich 

Starring Dennis Quaid, Rachel Griffiths, Jay Hernandez, Brian Cox 

Release Date March 29th, 2002

Published March 28th, 2002

Is there any more tired genre than the sports movie?

Many films are bogged down by the conventions of genre but the sports movie is so constricted it's almost pointless. Every sports film ends up a clone of every other sports film. 2001's Hardball was essentially an urban Bad News Bears with a hint of The Mighty Ducks. The 2000 football movie The Replacements was the same movie that was made in 1993 under the name Necessary Roughness, and so on and so on. Examples of this tired genre stretch out for miles and now comes yet another tired sports movie The Rookie starring Dennis Quaid.

In this mostly true story, Dennis Quaid stars as Jim Morris, a small-town science teacher and baseball coach. With his team playing poorly and desperately needing motivation, Morris cuts them a deal. Morris agrees to try out for a major league baseball team if his team makes it to the States. You see, Morris was on the fast track to the majors in his youth but blew out his arm. Now his arm is healthy and throwing harder than ever. Well it doesn't take a rocket scientist to tell you what happens next; after all it is a true story. Even if it weren't a true story do you honestly think the team would lose and the coach not tryout for the majors?

The Rookie is not a bad film. Technically it is well shot and the acting is first rate. I especially loved Rachel Griffith who, while having very little to do in the picture, still manages to create a strong character. In the end though, no matter how proficient the project is it cannot escape the demons of the sports genre, which is more than ripe for parody. Those genre conventions and the film’s corn-pone, family values, Disneyfied universe make for a film that while efficiently made was doomed to failure even before it began because it is so by the numbers. 

Jim Morris's triumph is intended to be inspiring but because it feels like EVERY other sports movie, every other baseball movie, The Rookie is rendered inert. The drama drags along through scenes that feel as if we've seen them in every other movie. The Rookie has a true life story but director John Lee Hancock makes that story feel so like every other sports movie that even this TRUE story feel like just another sports genre movie. Each beat of the story, every character development, and the ultimate triumph all feel unimpressive and forgettable. 

Movie Review: The Rocker

The Rocker (2008) 

Directed by Peter Cattaneo 

Written by Maya Forbes, Wallace Wolodarsky 

Starring Rainn Wilson, Christina Applegate, Jeff Garlin, Josh Gad, Teddy Geiger, Emma Stone 

Release Date August 20th, 2008 

Published August 19th, 2008 

The premise of The Rocker sounds like a movie Jack Black turned down. A 40 something former drummer for an 80's hair band ends up broke, living in his sister's attic before ending up playing drums for his nephews band. It reads like a sequel to School of Rock, with a few minor tweaks. The Rocker doesn't star Jack Black however but Rainn Wilson, from TV's The Office. Even though the premise sets him up for failure, Wilson acquits himself well in the shadow of JB, and gives  a good time rocking performance.

22 years ago Vesuvius was a heavy metal band on the verge of major record label success and their drummer, Robert 'Fish' Fishman was about live his rock star dream. The success came but not for Robert who the band dropped in favor of the label owners nephew. After losing out on rock stardom,  Robert spent the next 22 years a bitter mess, working as an office drone, longing to recapture the glory of rock. 

After losing his job Robert is forced to move in with his sister (Jane Lynch), her husband (Jeff Garlin) and his nephew Matt (Josh Gad). Matt is in a band and in a not so surprising twist of plot, the band just lost their drummer, two days before their first gig, playing the prom. Matt's bandmates, brooding singer Curtis (Teddy Geiger), and female bassist Amelia (Emma Stone, Superbad), want to find a more age appropriate drummer but Matt pushes for uncle Fish.

Though he nearly blows the prom gig, Fish turns out to be a great drummer and a strong positive influence on the band. When a YouTube video of Fish playing drums naked gets the band's music heard by millions, stardom comes knocking for a second time and Fish has the kind of second chance that doesn't come around very often.

The Rocker has a strict adherence to convention that is really the antithesis of rock n' roll. The film proceeds from one plot point to the next like clockwork. If you can't predict every step of this movie from beginning to end you are not trying. Director Peter Cattaneo (The Full Monty), directing a script by former Simpsons scribe Wallace Wolodarsky and Maya Forbes; moves the undistinguished screenplay from paper to screen with little innovation or invention.

All of the success of The Rocker lies in the performance of Rainn Wilson and lucky we are that he is up to the challenge. Wilson's Rocker is sloppy and dull witted, obtuse and self-involved, but he's also sweet, funny and earnestly committed to the life and love of being a rock star. Fish seems to genuinely care about the kids in the band and despite his excesses, he eventually proves himself as a positive force.

Wilson's performance plays well with the overall familiarity of the plot, making the predictability easier to take because the vibe is so congenial. The Rocker is so gentle and feather light that it floats by. 88 minutes is really all this plot could sustain and the filmmakers were smart not to let the movie linger. As much as we like Wilson's performance, by the end we are ready to say goodbye. 

Another smart decision by the makers of The Rocker was hiring Chad Fischer to write the music for the film. Often a movie about musicians will skimp on the music. The pop tunes of The Rocker, sung by star Teddy Geiger, are really good pop tunes, songs you can believe would become top ten radio hits. If the film is a hit don't be surprised to hear a song like 'Tomorrow Never Comes' or 'Bitter' make a radio splash.

The Rocker is annoyingly formulaic but star Rainn Wilson and the music of Teddy Geiger and Chad Fischer keep it from becoming tedious. Wilson is a star on the rise and he appears to have a bright future as a goofball leading man. See The Rocker for Rainn Wilson and stay for the surprisingly strong pop tunes of Geiger and Fischer. Yes, you will see every turn of plot coming, but Rainn Wilson, at the very least, will keeping you smiling through the predictability. 

Movie Review: The Road

The Road (2009) 

Directed by John Hillcoat 

Written by Joe Penhall 

Starring Viggo Mortensen, Kodi Smit McPhee, Robert Duvall, Charlize Theron, Guy Pearce 

Release Date November 25th, 2009 

Published November 24th, 2009 

I had to suffer through The Road on two separate occasions just to reach the end. Director John Hillcoat's bleak vision of the end of the world is so overwrought, ugly and cynical that the first time I had to walk out and get some air. The second time I suffered the whole of The Road and then needed a long shower to forget it. In some unspecified future the world simply begins to consume itself. Whether what happened was environmental, nuclear war, or some kind of biblical apocalypse we are not to know. What we do know is that inhabiting this world are The Man (Viggo Mortenson) and The Boy (Codi Smit McPhee).

Together they are making their way to the coast where rumors of a colony of some kind near the ocean give them some kind of hope for the future. More likely, however, is the idea that The Man has invented this idea to give them something to do so that The Boy won't lose hope. That is pretty well it for plot. The film is more or less a series of dank, gloomy scenes of sadness and degrading landscape. Things are so awful that even the trees seem to take a sentient stance and decide to simply topple to the ground. The journey along the road for The Man and The Boy is a slow, repetitive journey toward death.

Is The Road well realized? Yes, Director John Hillcoat can certainly suck the life out of landscape and star Viggo Mortenson is exceptional at becoming the physical embodiment of decay but don't ask either what the point of it all is. I tried imagining that the point of The Road was to have no point at all, that went nowhere and I was left really not caring. I have not read Cormac McCarthy's much praised novel on which the film is based but I am familiar enough with McCarthy and have read enough about the novel to know that the point in McCarthy's book is as much about his words as it about anything else. It seems The Road the novel was more about the way McCarthy wrote it than about any vision of the apocalypse.

What may have been at the heart of the movie The Road is a misunderstanding. Director Hillcoat and screenwriter Joe Penhall seem to have assumed that Cormac McCarthy was offering a vicious and unyielingly bitter judgement on humanity and offering a vision of the end of the world. The reality may be, again not having read the book, that McCarthy was working in prose and that this is where his vision and wordplay took him.

However the movie The Road came about, whether it is true to McCarthy's vision or not, it is far too depressing, vile and gloomy for me to recommend. Again, I respect the technical work of John Hillcoat who could suck the life out of even the most scenic locales and the work of Mr. Mortenson who immerses himself wonderfully in every role. I just cannot abide such a dark vision without some point. I don't want to live in a world where I cannot find meaning somewhere. There seems to be no meaning, point or purpose anywhere in the ugly cynicism of The Road.