Movie Review: Collateral

Collateral (2004) 

Directed by Michael Mann 

Written by Stuart Beattie 

Starring Tom Cruise, Jamie Foxx, Mark Ruffalo 

Release Date August 6th, 2004 

Published August 5th, 2004 

Tom Cruise has been at the top of his acting game the past few years with terrific performances in Vanilla Sky, Minority Report and The Last Samurai. Not only were these terrific films, they were also winners at the box office each grossing over 100 million dollars. At some point, the Law of Averages say that Cruise has to have a misstep, a failure. With his new film Collateral, Cruise once again is beating the odds with another terrific film and likely box office winner.

As the films poster says, it started like any other night. Los Angeles cab driver Max Durocher (Jamie Foxx) picked up his cab, cleaned it thoroughly and was on his way into another random L.A night. He picked up his typical rude, obnoxious, LAX going customers, that is, until he picked up a beautiful young lawyer named Annie (Jada Pinkett Smith) who bets him he can't get her to her destination faster by his route than her own. On the way the two flirt and Max even gets her number, this may not be all that typical a night after all.

Then the night takes it's most important turn as Max picks up Vincent (Cruise) a middle aged guy, gray hair, snappy but indiscreet suit, clinging to a high priced attaché case. Vincent is a little annoying, asks a lot of personal questions, he's seemingly one of those annoying glad handers who you just know has ulterior motives. Vincent's agenda is to have Max drive him to five different locations in a row for a price of six hundred dollars, more than Max would likely make the whole night. Even though Vincent makes him uneasy and it's against the rules, Max agrees and this life changing night is underway.

It doesn't take long for the night to get away from Max. On the first stop as Max waits in the cab, Vincent enters a rundown apartment building. Moments later a body falls from a window landing on Max's cab, Vincent exits the building soon after and Max puts two and two together. In an excellent dialogue exchange, Max says "You killed him" and the ever elusive Vincent replies "No, I shot him. The bullets and the fall killed him". Now it's on, and though Vincent had wanted this night to be incognito he now must take Max hostage and force him to help him finish his rounds which are tied to a drug dealer’s court case and the material witnesses that could put that drug dealer behind bars.

The plot is reminiscent of a smaller plot from the movie From Hell in which a carriage driver is employed to drive Jack The Ripper to and from each of his connected murders. Cruise's Vincent is quite similar to From Hell's version of The Ripper as an efficient, hired killer with a mysteriously meticulous purpose to his killing. However whereas the carriage driver allows poverty to overcome his conscience and becomes a co-conspirator, Foxx's cab driver chooses to follow his conscience and becomes a protagonist.

This is not your usual Hollywood-style hitman movie. The Hollywood hitman is more often than not portrayed as the anti-hero, not the villain. In Collateral, there is no question that Cruise is the villain of the piece and any attempt to humanize him in one scene will be undone by the next bit of violence. In this sense, Collateral shows more in common with Asian cinema's take on the hitman. He can be played as a straight villain or as the anti-hero that becomes more human through the plot and supporting characters. For some reason, Americans prefer their hitmen become heroic. If that is your idea of a hitman movie, then Collateral is not for you.

Another big difference between Collateral and most other Hollywood hitman movies is the style and rhythm of director Michael Mann and the script by newcomer Stuart Beattie. After 2001's disappointing Ali, Mann fell in love with the latest in digital technology and handheld camera work. In Collateral, he brings that love full circle using a combination of high definition digital and celluloid to establish the kind of dark noir-ish look that is unusually achieved through black and white photography.

Mann's direction is visual poetry that turns the city of Los Angeles into the third lead character of the film. The dialogue and the film’s soundtrack of Rock, Salsa, Techno and Jazz combine to give the film it's hum of life. This movie breathes and flows with the ease of a well oiled machine. The performances by both Jaime Foxx and Tom Cruise seem perfectly attuned to Mann's rhythm. Their dialogue and manner calibrated to fit into the scenery and stand out from it.

Tom Cruise continues on a streak of performances unparalleled by any other actor. For my money the man just keeps getting better and eventually the haters, and especially the Oscar voters, are going to have to recognize. Interestingly enough before Cruise gets his due, his Collateral co-star Jaime Foxx is likely to get noticed by Oscar. Not for this film but for his role in the upcoming Ray Charles biopic Ray. Foxx's role in Collateral shows his continuing evolution from mediocre comedian to real actor. It's been a good year so far for Jaime Foxx.

The supporting cast is filled out by Mark Ruffalo as an LAPD detective. Ruffalo seems a little too big for this rather small role but he is as effective as always. The film also features a terrific cameo by Oscar nominee Javier Bardem as Vincent's employer. Bardem's only scene, played opposite Foxx, is remarkable for how much the dialogue is so very Christopher Walken-esque in it's use of unusual metaphor and overall oddity.

Collateral is conventional only on the surface. In the good vs. evil sense, it is a conventional Hollywood movie. However in the numerous ways that Mann, his cast, and screenwriter Stuart Beattie tweak the Hollywood norms and what is expected of an action movie or a hitman movie, they make Collateral transcend anything that might be perceived as similar. That alone is worth the price of admission.

Movie Review The Heartbreak Kid

The Heartbreak Kid (2007)

Directed by Peter and Bobby Farrelly 

Written by Peter Farrelly, Bobby Farrelly, Scot Armstrong, Leslie Dixon, Kevin Barnett

Starring Ben Stiller, Malin Akerman, Michelle Monaghan, Jerry Stiller, Rob Cordry, Danny McBride

Release Date October 5th, 2007 

Published October 4th, 2007 

Ben Stiller has the astonishing talent to remain as funny and likable in bad movies as he is in good movies. Night at the Museum, Meet The Fockers, Envy, all not so great movies and all movies where Stiller outshined the material provided to him. Stiller is once again in better than the movie mode in the Farrelly Brothers comedy The Heartbreak Kid. This sorta-romantic comedy, a remake of the 1972 Elaine may-Neil Simon teaming, has a terrific idea at its center and Stiller in fine form. Unfortunately directors Peter and Bobby Farrelly can't help but succumb to their worst instincts in a vain attempt to recapture past glory.

Eddie (Stiller) is 40 years old and never married. He was engaged for 5 years, but as we meet him in The Heartbreak Kid, he is attending his ex-fiance's wedding. Both Eddie's dad (Jerry Stiller) and his best pal Mac (Rob Corddry) give him no end of crap for not settling down when he had the chance. Thus when Eddie meets Lila (Malin Akerman) he rushes things a little bit.

Eddie and Lila fall into a relationship not long after he attempts to foil a bad guy who stole her purse. A whirlwind courtship leads to the hasty decision to get married and a disaster on the horizon. Taking their honeymoon in Cabo San Lucas, Eddie quickly realizes that Lila is a little off. She sings along with every song on the radio, she's horrible at math, and she's desperately in debt. She's also not very bright, thus why she is almost immediately laid up in the hotel room with a bad sunburn.

The time alone allows Eddie to meet Miranda (Michelle Monaghan), a beautiful women's lacrosse coach vacationing with her family. The two spark quickly and after spending a day together drinking and soaking in the local culture,  Eddie realizes he is in love. Now, he has to figure out a way to break it to Lila that they are not working out and make sure he has won Miranda's heart.

The set up for The Heartbreak Kid is solid, this is a terrific premise. Unfortunately, the Farrelly Brothers, back behind the camera for the first time since 2005's Fever Pitch, can't resist a return to their basest instincts. Fever Pitch was a sweet, good hearted romantic comedy that played straighter than any previous Farrelly's comedy. The Heartbreak Kid is a throwback to the less interesting Stuck On You, Shallow Hal, Me Myself and Irene days.

Those films distilled the essence of the Farrelly's oeuvre down to the lowest common denominator. Each has its moments, but for the most part each is a lesser and lesser version of the Farrelly's one true classic There's Something About Mary. The Heartbreak Kid is the palest imitation of all; featuring Stiller in the earnest, frustrated good guy role he played so well in Mary.

Sadly, The Heartbreak Kid fails to capture what made Mary such a great comedy. The combination of heart and humor in There's Something About Mary is a near perfect combination of good hearted romance and lowbrow, genitalia based humor. It's a combo nearly impossible to pull off and The Heartbreak Kid doesn't even come close.

Disgusting for the sake of being disgusting, slapstick for the sake of slapstick, The Heartbreak Kid constantly steps on the more interesting aspects of Eddie's romantic dilemma by dropping in unnecessarily crude humor. Do we really need Carlos Mencia as a porn loving, sex offending, hotel manager? Do we need Jerry Stiller grossing out everyone in earshot with his many horrifying sexual innuendos?

Did we need to see Ben Stiller getting peed on or a visual gag about women's privates that may be the lowest joke of any movie in 2007? I certainly don't think so. Not when Ben Stiller, Malin Akerman and Michelle Monaghan are doing such great work creating a comically tense love triangle. The crudity only serves to distract and get in the way.

Ben Stiller gets better and better each time out. In fact, Stiller has never seemed more comfortable onscreen as he does in The Heartbreak Kid. Granted, he's played the flustered good guy for more than a decade but really, you can finally see him losing his many tics and affectations and becoming comfortable being himself on screen. This newfound comfort only serves to turn this already funny actor into a more charming and interesting screen presence.

Stiller's work clearly has a good effect on co-star Malin Akerman who does much of the heavy lifting in the broad comic moments. Akerman is a great beauty who gives herself over to broad comedy in the most unexpected ways. Not everything about her performance works, but you have to respect her bravery and willingness to do anything that was asked of her.

Michelle Monaghan is the perfect romantic foil for Stiller. The two have tremendous chemistry and the romance between them was more than interesting enough to make The Heartbreak Kid work as a romantic comedy. It's unfortunate that Peter and Bobby Farrelly didn't trust their stars enough to back off, just a little, on the lowbrow stuff.

The potential is there for a terrific romantic comedy in The Heartbreak Kid. It's undone by writer-directors desperate for faded glory. Peter and Bobby Farrelly have seen diminishing returns on each of their films since There's Something About Mary. Only Fever Pitch betrayed an attitude that they really didn't care about mimicking their past success.

Reteaming with Ben Stiller however, the Farrelly's sensed an opportunity to regain their A-list status and went for broke trying to recreate something that just can't be captured a second time. Certainly not with such desperate pandering as that which breaks The Heartbreak Kid.

Movie Review: Alvin and the Chipmunks Chipwrecked

Alvin and the Chipmunks Chipwrecked (2011) 

Directed by Mike Mitchell

Written by Jonathan Aibel, Glenn

Starring Jason Lee, Justin Long, David Cross, Jenny Slate, Anna Faris, Amy Poehler 

Release Date December 16th, 2011 

Published December 15th, 2011 

As a professional critic I know I shouldn't be biased against any movie but indeed I was biased against "Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked." The first two "Alvin and the Chipmunks" big screen adventures are moronic and terrible movies that flashed pretty colors and loud music in order to distract children and parents into thinking they'd gotten their money's worth.

"Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked" on the other hand has a richness and thoughtfulness that was lacking in the first two movies. In no way is 'Chipwrecked' a great movie but by the lowered bar of the first two films it's a "Citizen Kane" level effort.

"Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked" opens on a cruise ship where a family vacation is, of course, upended by Alvin's hijinks. Dave (Jason Lee) makes the mistake of leaving Alvin alone in their state room and he leads a break out of the room that takes him to the casino and the Chipettes to the dance floor for a dance off against some Jersey Shore babes.

The ship scenes are very reminiscent of all the things wrong with the first two 'Alvin' movies and my heart sank for about 10 minutes until Alvin took flight on a kite with Simon, Theordore, Brittany, Eleanor, and Jeanette hanging on the tale end. The kite carries the chipmunks off of the cruise ship and off-course to a lost little island.

Dave gives chase after the kids on a hang glider and is joined by his music industry rival Ian (David Cross) who gets caught up attempting to stop Dave from going after the kids. Ian is now a mascot for the cruise line and spends most of the movie dressed as a giant pelican.

In my favorite part of "Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked" former SNL bit player and "Bored to Death" actress Jenny Slate plays Zoe, a castaway on the island. Slate's wacked out Zoe has a running gag about sports balls, ala Tom Hanks in "Cast Away," that somehow got a laugh from me every time the movie brought it back.

Will kids get a reference to "Cast Away?" Probably not; but the wacky bits that Slate does with the balls, including naming them, are expansive enough to get laughs no matter whether you get the reference. It's also nice to see the creators of 'Chipwrecked' throw moms and dads a bone.

"Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked" is not a great movie; it doesn't rise to the level of great family movies like "The Muppets" or "Rango," but the fact that the makers of 'Chipwrecked' worked hard enough to improve this awful series is admirable. Director Mike Mitchell could have coasted on the 'Alvin' brand name and he didn't and I appreciate that.

Unlike the first two films, there is the sense of an actual idea in "Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked." The movie aims to dialogue a little with kids about growing up and learning and earning responsibility. It's a little idea and it's not pursued with much depth but it's one more idea than existed in the first two movies combined.


Movie Review A Haunting in Connecticut

The Haunting in Connecticut (2009) 

Directed by Peter Cornwell 

Written by Adan Simon, Tim Metcalfe

Starring Virginia Madsen, Kyle Gallner, Martin Donovan, Amanda Crew, Elias Koteas 

Release Date March 27th, 2009 

Published March 26th, 2009 

Virginia Madsen is a very talented actress. This assertion on my part is well demonstrated in her Oscar nominated performance in Sideways. However, her name on a marquee inspires the kind of fuzzy, hazy, disconnected state that only Pink Floyd could properly describe. Place her name above the title The Haunting in Connecticut and the combination inspires the kind of yawn that can only be described as jaw breaking.

The Haunting in Connecticut is a movie that commits the cardinal sin of movies. It is not merely bad, it's boring. Not boring merely in the way that one could be doing better things with their time but boring in a way that one is subjected to. As if locked in a room with blank walls and no windows. Gene Siskel put it best 'This movie does not improve upon a blank screen viewed for the same length of time.'

Virginia Madsen is ostensibly the star of The Haunting in Connecticut though one might fairly claim ennui as the film's true marquee element. Madsen plays a country mom to a cancer-addled son, played by Kyle Gallner, who decides to move her family to a suburban home closer to the local hospital. Because the family is not rich she accepts the first home in their price range. This, despite the fact that the home used to be a working funeral home. Poverty is stronger than the darkly ironic, fate tempting idea of moving her dying son into what used to be a funeral parlor.

Dad (Martin Donovan) is forced to stay in the country for work reasons but the rest of the family is coming to the creepy new house. The rest of the family include a toe-headed little brother and a pair of female cousins whose living arrangements are somewhere in the exposition, likely during the onset of my movie-long malaise.

Of course it's not long before the ghosts begin tossing plates and the shrieking musical score begins trying to convince us that all of this is pretty scary. I remain unconvinced. Along the way we greet a few more unhappy clichés including conventional horror movie misdirection where people hear noises that they think are scary but are really cats or birds or relatives.

There is even a brief digression into the child in danger plot as the youngest children are briefly menaced by apparitions. This is thankfully brief but hey if you are going to fly by on cliché you may as well throw them all in there. Clichés at the very least are familiar and even distracting yet somehow even they come off as boring in this film. It's difficult to describe this level of boredom. Imagine Ben Stein in Ferris Bueller mode reading the instruction manual for a ford fiesta. Now take that down a notch and you can imagine something close to what I felt during The Haunting in Connecticut.

This is surprising considering the 'true story' the film is allegedly based on. Al and Carmen Snedeker are a real family who moved into what was a former funeral home in Connecticut back in the mid-80's. After moving in they did indeed report a number of creepy goings on. Their story inspired Ed and Lorraine Warren, the spiritualist con artists who crafted the Amityville Horror legend years earlier, to come and craft an elaborate haunting for the Snedekers.

Not surprisingly, the whole thing became a bestselling book and now this movie. Except that the movie seems to have left out some of the more juicy and entertaining details. Not the ghosts, the bodies allegedly stuffed in the walls, or the alleged séances that may or may not have taken place as a regular bit of funeral home business. That's all in there somewhere, I think, I may have blacked out briefly. 

No. It's the part where Al and Carmen cop to having been raped by apparitions repeatedly over the TWO YEARS they lived in this house. Disturbing on so many levels? Yes, but definitely not boring. This detail was dropped from the movie either in a nod to good taste (Booo) or because writing this detail into the movie would take more effort than the writers were willing to put into it. 

Or, even more likely, it was a commerce over creepiness decision. The film is more bankable as a PG 13 feature not featuring ghostly forced sex. I'm not sure what this says about me but I cannot honestly tell you whether I preferred the boredom or the creeptastic, ungodly alternative left out of the final film. I guess we'll never know. The Haunting in Connecticut is what it is, an utterly mind numbing bore.


Movie Review The Haunting of Molly Hartley

The Haunting of Molly Hartley (2008) 

Directed by Mickey Liddell 

Written by Rebecca Sonnenshine, John Travis

Starring Haley Bennett, Chace Crawford, Annalynne McCord, Ron Canada 

Release Date October 31st, 2008

Published October 31st, 2008 

If PG-13 horror movies get anymore tired they are going to have to sell Starbucks coffee with every ticket. I needed an extra strength caffeine back-up to stay awake during the latest mind numbing PG-13 'horror movie,' The Haunting of Molly Hartley, a slow witted, formulaic piece of over-marketed junk.

Haley Bennett is Molly Hartley, a pretty but troubled young girl whose mother tried to kill her. Mom stabbed Molly but she survived and mom went away. Now Dad (Jake Weber) has moved her to a new High School where she befriends the most popular and handsome boy in the school, Joseph (Chace Crawford).

But, of course, Haley's past can't help but follow her to the new school. First it's terrible nightmares about her mom's attack. Then word gets around that her mother is in an asylum, kids can be so cruel. Then Molly begins to have her own psychotic freak outs, just like mom's and then... well things get even worse with one last twist.

First time feature director Mickey Liddell directed The Haunting of Molly Hartley with all the skill of a sledgehammer hitting cement. The film offers thuddingly loud jump-scare sounds, whipsaw camera tricks and faux suspense to build what little atmosphere it can in order to hold us in place till the big twist is revealed.

It doesn't work. By the time we get to the 'twist' the audience's minds have drifted to other things such as, dinner after the show, laundry, ceiling tiles, napping., stamp collecting, texting, crossword puzzles, the stimulus package, navel lint, favorite beers, ear hair, other movies, is it cold enough for a winter coat or warm enough for a jacket?

Should I go back to the gym? Did I bring my checkbook? That was a good milkshake? Was that my phone? What's that stuck to my shoe...

Oops sorry, The Haunting of Molly Hartley is so deathly dull and preposterously forgettable that I managed to drift off during my review. You can go ahead and skip the rental on The Haunting Of Molly Hartley, unless your most inane thoughts need a dull bleating soundtrack. Then maybe.


Movie Review The Heart is Deceitful Above All Things

Movie Review The Heart is Deceitful Above All Things (2006) 

Directed by Asia Argento 

Written by Asia Argento, Alessandro Magania 

Starring Asia Argento, Jimmy Bennett, Cole Sprouse, Dylan Sprouse, Marilyn Manson, 

Release Date March 10th, 2006

Published July 17th, 2006 

We have seen manic moms portrayed on the big screen before. Most often they are wild eccentrics who try harder to be their child's pal instead of their parent. They are loving but scattered mom's who are often as childish as their kids.

The mother played by Asia Argento in The Heart Is Deceitful Above All Things is no loving eccentric. After retrieving her seven year old son from a loving foster home this manic depressive, drug and alcohol addicted sex worker proceeds to drag the kid through some of the worst experiences that the modern American underbelly has to offer.

At the age of seven Jeremiah, played by Jimmy Bennett, finds himself forced from the only home he has ever known. The mother who abandoned him as a baby has somehow procured custody of him and is determined to play mommy.

Over the course of a few years Jeremiah is subjected to numerous abuses, is forced to witness mom turning tricks, often just a few feet where he cowers in fear. His mother gives him drugs and alcohol and allows some of her men to abuse him the way they abuse her.

Then she's gone again and Jeremiah is left with her most recent 'new daddy'. This didn't last long as the new daddy really wasn't interested in raising a kid. So, after being sexually abused, Jeremiah somehow finds himself in the Christian fundamentalist home of his grandparents played by Peter Fonda and Ornelia Muti. They are strict, even vicious about their Christianity but anything is preferable to life on the streets.

Cut to three years later and Jeremiah, now played by twins Cole and Dylan Sprouse, is an 11 year old street corner preacher when mommy returns and wants him back. This leads to further horrors physical and sexual abuse, drugs, alcohol and a near death experience.

Asia Argento who plays mom in the film also directed The Heart Is Deceitful Above All Things. Her direction is relentless and at times arresting. However, as I'm sure you have culled from my description, the film is all dark with no light. I have no idea what to take away from this picture but utter despair.

It is undeniably brave to present a story as bleak and heart-rending as this and to not dose it with irony or even a hint of goodness. The Heart Is Deceitful Above All Things challenges its audience to look away. Look away from the constant horror that is this child's life. Turn, if you can, a blind eye to the fact that there are children out there living this life.

Just last week in the tiny town of Spencer Iowa a woman left her five year old son in the car while she was inside a bar getting drunk and stripping on a table top. The incident would have gone unnoticed if the mother had not gotten herself arrested. This scene is played out in The Heart Is Deceitful Above All Things except there is no police interference. Young Jeremiah witnessed the alternate reality of that Spencer, Iowa scene.

The ending of the film is bitter, sad and open ended. Young Jeremiah's life remains in the horrifying orbit of his mothers disease. A disturbing end for a thoroughly disturbing film.

Movie Review Hostel

Hostel (2006) 

Directed by Eli Roth 

Written by Eli Roth 

Starring Jay Hernandez, Derek Richardson, Rick Hoffman

Release Date January 6th, 2006 

Published January 6th, 2006 

Filmmakers have a very interesting mental link between sex and violence. Because both are really the last societal taboos, certain forms of each are in violation of all social graces, they can be exploited in order to shock and titillate audiences. Movies as varied as the brilliant A History Violence and the abysmal Devil's Rejects have drawn sex and violence together as if the two things were inextricably linked.

Eli Roth, the director of the horror flick Hostel, is a true believer in the link between sex and violence. Hostel puts the two subjects in direct relation as college-aged protagonists seek cheap, meaningless sex on a trip through Europe and end up paying dearly for it in the typically mindless, blood-soaked fashion of modern exploitation flicks.

Paxton (Jay Hernandez) and Josh (Derek Richardson) are fresh out of college and ready to party. They have traveled to the modern day Sodom that is Amsterdam in search of the holy grail of twenty-something morons: loose woman and legal hash. Paxton is the more indulgent and headstrong of the two, partaking in both the willing bar girls and the pay-for-play gals lining the streets in lighted window displays. Josh, on the other hand, is slightly more reserved and even a little put off by the sex on sale.

Once Paxton and a fellow traveler, Oli (Eythor Gudjonsson), who the guys hook up with along the way, have exhausted the local talent, they come across a German teen who has the inside scoop on the best looking and loosest women in all of Europe. There is, the teen claims, a youth hostel that is on no map, and where the local women are dying to sleep with any foreigners. All the boys have to do is hop a train to scenic Bratislava.

A lengthy train trip later; the three friends have found the mythic hostel. The story is true: naked flesh is easy to come by and the naked women are easier than ever imagined. The fun, however, does not last long. After an epic night of debauchery, that even Josh partakes in, Oli disappears with a young Japanese girl. Soon Josh too has disappeared, and Paxton seeks out their new female companions to find out what happened to his pals.

He is told that both guys are at an art show, and, in standard Eastern European fashion, the supposed "art show" is housed in a slaughterhouse. Of course, by now we in the audience are well aware that the art show is actually a brutal torture chamber where hostel stayers are kidnapped and killed in the most horrifying ways imaginable.

Director Eli Roth showed an interesting level of originality in his first feature, 2003's Cabin Fever. That film was a skin-crawling genre exercise that twisted expectations by not focusing on a human killer but a timely viral killer. That film was not all that visually accomplished, partly because of its low budget, and neither is Hostel. The films share a low budget aesthetic, but Hostel, with a slightly higher budget and the imprimatur of Quentin Tarantino, makes it fair to wonder when Roth will finally show a talent for crafting visuals that don't rely on special effects splatter.

Of the many attempts at scary visuals, only a scene where a character has his kneecaps drilled and his Achilles heel sliced comes across as shocking. A later, gorier scene in which a woman's eyeball dangles precariously from its socket is truly underwhelming as both an effect and makeup. Poorly executed special effects aside, Roth lacks the necessary skill to negate his low budget with story tension.

Jay Hernandez, so impressive in the 2001 teen romance Crazy/Beautiful, fails to make a compelling lead in Hostel. His boorish American tourist bit is believable but not all that enjoyable or relatable. Co-star Derek Richardson's own wet blanket character is even less impressive, and thus no help to Hernandez. Only Icelandic actor Gudjonsson manages to be entertaining, but he is quickly dispatched. His charming comic presence is missed once he's gone.

Hostel has the hallmarks of the exploitation genre down cold. Buckets of blood are spilled, copious amounts of naked female flesh are displayed; all of the basic horror elements that had once held the genre in the movie ghetto of late night pay cable and direct to video land are featured in Hostel. Something about all that nudity in Hostel, combined with the lack of even one strong female character in Hostel, leads me to wonder whether Eli Roth has a problem with women. 

Hostel is not merely misogynist, the film demonstrates a direct loathing and objectification of women. The women of Hostel  exist to remove their clothing and die horribly. Whether this is a symptom of Roth's inability to write for women, a similar lack of compelling female characters plagued Cabin Fever, or he really does dislike women is up for debate.

Roth apparently enjoys the company of Quentin Tarantino and yet he seems to have never seen Kill Bill, which provided more than a few examples of how to write convincing, compelling female characters. Then again, writing is not Roth's strong suit anyway. On more than one occasion Roth comes within a few lines of something interesting and walks away to throw more blood and gore at the screen.

Hostel comes close to a clever parody of the current anti-American attitudes so pervasive in Europe where American travelers are encouraged to claim Canadian citizenship to avoid a hassle. Sadly Hostel comes to the precipice of joking about this timely subject but then travels the easier path to exploitation success, more naked flesh and piles of human remains.

There is also, I believe, an unintentional undercurrent of puritanical feelings bubbling beneath the surface of Hostel. The way in which sin and vice lead almost directly to death in Hostel is rather Old Testament. Hostel shares this sex-death link with classic horror movies like A Nightmare On Elm Street and Friday The 13th, but oddly no horror film director has had the nerve to explore this vengeful god scenario in an intellectually satisfying way.

Eli Roth may have earned the appreciation of a true genius in Quentin Tarantino, but there is no evidence in Hostel that Roth actually learned anything from his new mentor. Where Tarantino crafts artful visuals from the lowest of genres, Roth can barely craft a solid scare. That is not to say that Roth won't develop into a good director someday, but for now his work is merely terribly overrated.

For lovers of the exploitation genre, (what writer David Poland has cleverly dubbed the "horror porn" genre, including recent films like Devil's Rejects, High Tension and Wolf Creek) Hostel will be a huge hit. But for fans of well made movies, Hostel is yet another waste of screen space. 

Movie Review Megalopolis

 Megalopolis  Directed by Francis Ford Coppola  Written by Francis Ford Coppola  Starring Adam Driver, Nathalie Emmanuel, Giancarlo Esposito...