Movie Review The Happytime Murders

The Happytime Murders (2018) 

Directed by Brian Henson 

Written by Todd Berger 

Starring Melissa McCarthy, Joel McHale, Maya Rudolph, Elizabeth Banks 

Release Date April 24th, 2018 

Published April 23rd, 2018 

A number of critics have called The Happytime Murders the ‘worst movie of 2018.’ These critics apparently forgot about 15:17 to Paris or The Maze Runner Death Cure. The Happytime Murders is undoubtedly bad, I completely agree with that sentiment; but not worst of the year level bad. Mostly, the film is a failure of a central idea, that idea being that puppets acting like raunchy, obnoxious humans is funny just because they are puppets.

Melissa McCarthy stars in The Happytime Murders as Detective Connie Edwards, the former partner of the first ever puppet police detective, Phil Phillips (voiced by Bill Barretta). Edwards and Phillips, now a private detective, are thrown back together when a series of murders involving the cast of a popular puppet television show comes to center on Phil as a possible suspect, one of the victims was Phil’s own brother.

Phil somehow winds up at the scene of each murder and though we know he’s not the killer, it’s no surprise that he becomes a wanted man. The plot then turns on whether he and his former partner can put aside their past and work to clear his name and solve the horrific series of murders. It’s a rather straight-forward plot and if it starred human actors instead of puppets you might have a hard time seeing Happytime Murders as a comedy.

Director Brian Henson, the son of Muppets creator Jim Henson, hasn’t had much experience directing feature films and his inexperience shows in how clumsy the approach to tone is in The Happytime Murders. Dark comedy is tricky and if you can’t get the tone just right your film will fail and Henson never finds the right vibe for this movie. Everything is far too serious and straightforward and the plot relies far too heavily on the idea that puppets are inherently funny.

Henson appears to believe that seeing a puppet act in a human fashion, especially an obnoxious or raunchy fashion, is funny regardless of the context and for me that was not the case. I found parts of The Happytime Murders downright bleak with one dark comic gag falling short after another. The film relies heavily on cop movie clichés but doesn’t do anything to deconstruct those clichés other than embody them with puppets.

Melissa McCarthy has the only good moments in The Happytime Murders. McCarthy’s Connie has a very funny Jerry Maguire moment when she thinks she's been fired from her job and delivers an unhinged monologue on her way out the door. Beyond that however, and an occasional funny line late in the movie, even McCarthy appears to take the material of The Happytime murders a little too seriously, or, at least, serious enough that the comedy fails to land.

Puppets doing human things just isn’t funny on its own. Comedy requires context and structure and timing and The Happytime Murders has little context, only modest structure and the puppets make timing jokes for the human characters difficult. Melissa McCarthy is an actress whose timing is impeccable in most of her movies but she’s off throughout The Happytime Murders because she’s stuck trying to bounce off of non-human characters who can’t react to her usually effective wordplay.

If it sounds like I hated The Happytime Murders let me assure you that I don’t hate it. I just don’t think it is very good. The film is far more forgettable than it is offensive. The badness comes not from a lack of effort, there is a clear amount of effort on display from the remarkable puppeteers who make the puppet characters feel alive. Rather, it’s the kind of badness that likely only came around as the film was being cut together and the filmmakers slowly realized they hadn’t written any good jokes, just a series of dramatic, clichéd, contexts that are only funny if you think puppets are funny regardless of context or character.

An example: is it funny that Melissa McCarthy encounters a puppet junkie? The puppet is a drug addicted former TV star. The character doesn’t have much to do, doesn’t do much in the way of jokes, aside from a shot or two at McCarthy’s appearance, and then he’s dead. Is it funny that this comes from a puppet? For me, the answer is no, I need the character to actually be funny, to do or to say something funny.

That said, if you find puppets always funny regardless of the context or content, then perhaps this movie is for you.

Movie Review: Vanilla Sky

Vanilla Sky (2001) 

Directed by Cameron Crowe 

Written by Cameron Crowe 

Starring Tom Cruise, Penelope Cruz, Cameron Diaz, Jason Lee 

Release Date December 14th, 2001 

Published December 15th, 2001 

The combination of Tom Cruise and Cameron Crowe is a meaningful one for me. This duo of director and star created my favorite movie of all time, Jerry Maguire. To be honest though my hopes were not high for their newest collaboration Vanilla Sky. My concerns were warranted with Crowe venturing out of his normal romantic dramedy safezone and Cruise hiding his leading man looks under piles of mangled makeup, Vanilla Sky was a huge gamble, one that I'm happy to report pays off bigtime.

Sky casts Cruise as David Aames, a jet-setting magazine impresario, emotionally stunted but staked by a father's fame and fortune. David has no meaningful relationships merely friendships of convenience with a woman named Julie, played by Cameron Diaz, who David sleeps with but still only considers a friend. David's best friend is a writer played by Jason Lee, but he too is merely convenient. David is bankrolling his buddy's book deal and though he calls him his best friend his tone doesn't convey that he means it. 

David Aames' life is changed forever when he meets Sophia, played by Penelope Cruz. David is immediately drawn to her and after spending one night with her without sleeping with her he vows to change his life work harder and take himself and those around him more seriously. Then tragedy strikes and this is where the film gets really interesting veering off in different directions, Thriller, Romance and even social commentary all of which is deftly handled by Crowe with his direction and razor sharp scripting. 

Early in the film I found it difficult to buy Cruise as a snowboarding, slacker, trust fund baby. But as the film goes on the character grows up quickly and becomes more Cruise-like; cocky, self assured but always shading the breakdown that is just under the surface. No one plays emotional devastation like Cruise, who is able to communicate agonizing emotional pain with his facial expressions better than any actor I've ever seen. 

The films supporting performances are just as good with Jason Lee as the standout. Yes it is hard to believe that Lee and Cruise as best buds but the film uses that lack of chemistry to add a deeper level to their relationship, one that plays into the unusual mystery unfolding throughout Vanilla Sky. Penelope Cruz is surprisingly good; I've never liked Penelope Cruz before but in Vanilla Sky I saw something I hadn't seen from her before, a pulse. 

The real star of Vanilla Sky though is cinematographer John Toll who should be nominated for his 4th Oscar for his beautiful work. Toll and director Cameron Crowe don't just make Vanilla Sky look good, they make it look too good in a way that plays into the central mystery of the movie. It's very subtle but those paying attention will be floored by the time the ending has arrived and how the bright visuals and color palette of Vanilla Sky was helping to tell the story. 

Vanilla Sky has the feel of a Kubrick film filtered through Cameron Crowe's pop sensibility, and that for me is an unbeatable combination.

Movie Review: Collateral

Collateral (2004) 

Directed by Michael Mann 

Written by Stuart Beattie 

Starring Tom Cruise, Jamie Foxx, Mark Ruffalo 

Release Date August 6th, 2004 

Published August 5th, 2004 

Tom Cruise has been at the top of his acting game the past few years with terrific performances in Vanilla Sky, Minority Report and The Last Samurai. Not only were these terrific films, they were also winners at the box office each grossing over 100 million dollars. At some point, the Law of Averages say that Cruise has to have a misstep, a failure. With his new film Collateral, Cruise once again is beating the odds with another terrific film and likely box office winner.

As the films poster says, it started like any other night. Los Angeles cab driver Max Durocher (Jamie Foxx) picked up his cab, cleaned it thoroughly and was on his way into another random L.A night. He picked up his typical rude, obnoxious, LAX going customers, that is, until he picked up a beautiful young lawyer named Annie (Jada Pinkett Smith) who bets him he can't get her to her destination faster by his route than her own. On the way the two flirt and Max even gets her number, this may not be all that typical a night after all.

Then the night takes it's most important turn as Max picks up Vincent (Cruise) a middle aged guy, gray hair, snappy but indiscreet suit, clinging to a high priced attaché case. Vincent is a little annoying, asks a lot of personal questions, he's seemingly one of those annoying glad handers who you just know has ulterior motives. Vincent's agenda is to have Max drive him to five different locations in a row for a price of six hundred dollars, more than Max would likely make the whole night. Even though Vincent makes him uneasy and it's against the rules, Max agrees and this life changing night is underway.

It doesn't take long for the night to get away from Max. On the first stop as Max waits in the cab, Vincent enters a rundown apartment building. Moments later a body falls from a window landing on Max's cab, Vincent exits the building soon after and Max puts two and two together. In an excellent dialogue exchange, Max says "You killed him" and the ever elusive Vincent replies "No, I shot him. The bullets and the fall killed him". Now it's on, and though Vincent had wanted this night to be incognito he now must take Max hostage and force him to help him finish his rounds which are tied to a drug dealer’s court case and the material witnesses that could put that drug dealer behind bars.

The plot is reminiscent of a smaller plot from the movie From Hell in which a carriage driver is employed to drive Jack The Ripper to and from each of his connected murders. Cruise's Vincent is quite similar to From Hell's version of The Ripper as an efficient, hired killer with a mysteriously meticulous purpose to his killing. However whereas the carriage driver allows poverty to overcome his conscience and becomes a co-conspirator, Foxx's cab driver chooses to follow his conscience and becomes a protagonist.

This is not your usual Hollywood-style hitman movie. The Hollywood hitman is more often than not portrayed as the anti-hero, not the villain. In Collateral, there is no question that Cruise is the villain of the piece and any attempt to humanize him in one scene will be undone by the next bit of violence. In this sense, Collateral shows more in common with Asian cinema's take on the hitman. He can be played as a straight villain or as the anti-hero that becomes more human through the plot and supporting characters. For some reason, Americans prefer their hitmen become heroic. If that is your idea of a hitman movie, then Collateral is not for you.

Another big difference between Collateral and most other Hollywood hitman movies is the style and rhythm of director Michael Mann and the script by newcomer Stuart Beattie. After 2001's disappointing Ali, Mann fell in love with the latest in digital technology and handheld camera work. In Collateral, he brings that love full circle using a combination of high definition digital and celluloid to establish the kind of dark noir-ish look that is unusually achieved through black and white photography.

Mann's direction is visual poetry that turns the city of Los Angeles into the third lead character of the film. The dialogue and the film’s soundtrack of Rock, Salsa, Techno and Jazz combine to give the film it's hum of life. This movie breathes and flows with the ease of a well oiled machine. The performances by both Jaime Foxx and Tom Cruise seem perfectly attuned to Mann's rhythm. Their dialogue and manner calibrated to fit into the scenery and stand out from it.

Tom Cruise continues on a streak of performances unparalleled by any other actor. For my money the man just keeps getting better and eventually the haters, and especially the Oscar voters, are going to have to recognize. Interestingly enough before Cruise gets his due, his Collateral co-star Jaime Foxx is likely to get noticed by Oscar. Not for this film but for his role in the upcoming Ray Charles biopic Ray. Foxx's role in Collateral shows his continuing evolution from mediocre comedian to real actor. It's been a good year so far for Jaime Foxx.

The supporting cast is filled out by Mark Ruffalo as an LAPD detective. Ruffalo seems a little too big for this rather small role but he is as effective as always. The film also features a terrific cameo by Oscar nominee Javier Bardem as Vincent's employer. Bardem's only scene, played opposite Foxx, is remarkable for how much the dialogue is so very Christopher Walken-esque in it's use of unusual metaphor and overall oddity.

Collateral is conventional only on the surface. In the good vs. evil sense, it is a conventional Hollywood movie. However in the numerous ways that Mann, his cast, and screenwriter Stuart Beattie tweak the Hollywood norms and what is expected of an action movie or a hitman movie, they make Collateral transcend anything that might be perceived as similar. That alone is worth the price of admission.

Movie Review The Heartbreak Kid

The Heartbreak Kid (2007)

Directed by Peter and Bobby Farrelly 

Written by Peter Farrelly, Bobby Farrelly, Scot Armstrong, Leslie Dixon, Kevin Barnett

Starring Ben Stiller, Malin Akerman, Michelle Monaghan, Jerry Stiller, Rob Cordry, Danny McBride

Release Date October 5th, 2007 

Published October 4th, 2007 

Ben Stiller has the astonishing talent to remain as funny and likable in bad movies as he is in good movies. Night at the Museum, Meet The Fockers, Envy, all not so great movies and all movies where Stiller outshined the material provided to him. Stiller is once again in better than the movie mode in the Farrelly Brothers comedy The Heartbreak Kid. This sorta-romantic comedy, a remake of the 1972 Elaine may-Neil Simon teaming, has a terrific idea at its center and Stiller in fine form. Unfortunately directors Peter and Bobby Farrelly can't help but succumb to their worst instincts in a vain attempt to recapture past glory.

Eddie (Stiller) is 40 years old and never married. He was engaged for 5 years, but as we meet him in The Heartbreak Kid, he is attending his ex-fiance's wedding. Both Eddie's dad (Jerry Stiller) and his best pal Mac (Rob Corddry) give him no end of crap for not settling down when he had the chance. Thus when Eddie meets Lila (Malin Akerman) he rushes things a little bit.

Eddie and Lila fall into a relationship not long after he attempts to foil a bad guy who stole her purse. A whirlwind courtship leads to the hasty decision to get married and a disaster on the horizon. Taking their honeymoon in Cabo San Lucas, Eddie quickly realizes that Lila is a little off. She sings along with every song on the radio, she's horrible at math, and she's desperately in debt. She's also not very bright, thus why she is almost immediately laid up in the hotel room with a bad sunburn.

The time alone allows Eddie to meet Miranda (Michelle Monaghan), a beautiful women's lacrosse coach vacationing with her family. The two spark quickly and after spending a day together drinking and soaking in the local culture,  Eddie realizes he is in love. Now, he has to figure out a way to break it to Lila that they are not working out and make sure he has won Miranda's heart.

The set up for The Heartbreak Kid is solid, this is a terrific premise. Unfortunately, the Farrelly Brothers, back behind the camera for the first time since 2005's Fever Pitch, can't resist a return to their basest instincts. Fever Pitch was a sweet, good hearted romantic comedy that played straighter than any previous Farrelly's comedy. The Heartbreak Kid is a throwback to the less interesting Stuck On You, Shallow Hal, Me Myself and Irene days.

Those films distilled the essence of the Farrelly's oeuvre down to the lowest common denominator. Each has its moments, but for the most part each is a lesser and lesser version of the Farrelly's one true classic There's Something About Mary. The Heartbreak Kid is the palest imitation of all; featuring Stiller in the earnest, frustrated good guy role he played so well in Mary.

Sadly, The Heartbreak Kid fails to capture what made Mary such a great comedy. The combination of heart and humor in There's Something About Mary is a near perfect combination of good hearted romance and lowbrow, genitalia based humor. It's a combo nearly impossible to pull off and The Heartbreak Kid doesn't even come close.

Disgusting for the sake of being disgusting, slapstick for the sake of slapstick, The Heartbreak Kid constantly steps on the more interesting aspects of Eddie's romantic dilemma by dropping in unnecessarily crude humor. Do we really need Carlos Mencia as a porn loving, sex offending, hotel manager? Do we need Jerry Stiller grossing out everyone in earshot with his many horrifying sexual innuendos?

Did we need to see Ben Stiller getting peed on or a visual gag about women's privates that may be the lowest joke of any movie in 2007? I certainly don't think so. Not when Ben Stiller, Malin Akerman and Michelle Monaghan are doing such great work creating a comically tense love triangle. The crudity only serves to distract and get in the way.

Ben Stiller gets better and better each time out. In fact, Stiller has never seemed more comfortable onscreen as he does in The Heartbreak Kid. Granted, he's played the flustered good guy for more than a decade but really, you can finally see him losing his many tics and affectations and becoming comfortable being himself on screen. This newfound comfort only serves to turn this already funny actor into a more charming and interesting screen presence.

Stiller's work clearly has a good effect on co-star Malin Akerman who does much of the heavy lifting in the broad comic moments. Akerman is a great beauty who gives herself over to broad comedy in the most unexpected ways. Not everything about her performance works, but you have to respect her bravery and willingness to do anything that was asked of her.

Michelle Monaghan is the perfect romantic foil for Stiller. The two have tremendous chemistry and the romance between them was more than interesting enough to make The Heartbreak Kid work as a romantic comedy. It's unfortunate that Peter and Bobby Farrelly didn't trust their stars enough to back off, just a little, on the lowbrow stuff.

The potential is there for a terrific romantic comedy in The Heartbreak Kid. It's undone by writer-directors desperate for faded glory. Peter and Bobby Farrelly have seen diminishing returns on each of their films since There's Something About Mary. Only Fever Pitch betrayed an attitude that they really didn't care about mimicking their past success.

Reteaming with Ben Stiller however, the Farrelly's sensed an opportunity to regain their A-list status and went for broke trying to recreate something that just can't be captured a second time. Certainly not with such desperate pandering as that which breaks The Heartbreak Kid.

Movie Review: Alvin and the Chipmunks Chipwrecked

Alvin and the Chipmunks Chipwrecked (2011) 

Directed by Mike Mitchell

Written by Jonathan Aibel, Glenn

Starring Jason Lee, Justin Long, David Cross, Jenny Slate, Anna Faris, Amy Poehler 

Release Date December 16th, 2011 

Published December 15th, 2011 

As a professional critic I know I shouldn't be biased against any movie but indeed I was biased against "Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked." The first two "Alvin and the Chipmunks" big screen adventures are moronic and terrible movies that flashed pretty colors and loud music in order to distract children and parents into thinking they'd gotten their money's worth.

"Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked" on the other hand has a richness and thoughtfulness that was lacking in the first two movies. In no way is 'Chipwrecked' a great movie but by the lowered bar of the first two films it's a "Citizen Kane" level effort.

"Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked" opens on a cruise ship where a family vacation is, of course, upended by Alvin's hijinks. Dave (Jason Lee) makes the mistake of leaving Alvin alone in their state room and he leads a break out of the room that takes him to the casino and the Chipettes to the dance floor for a dance off against some Jersey Shore babes.

The ship scenes are very reminiscent of all the things wrong with the first two 'Alvin' movies and my heart sank for about 10 minutes until Alvin took flight on a kite with Simon, Theordore, Brittany, Eleanor, and Jeanette hanging on the tale end. The kite carries the chipmunks off of the cruise ship and off-course to a lost little island.

Dave gives chase after the kids on a hang glider and is joined by his music industry rival Ian (David Cross) who gets caught up attempting to stop Dave from going after the kids. Ian is now a mascot for the cruise line and spends most of the movie dressed as a giant pelican.

In my favorite part of "Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked" former SNL bit player and "Bored to Death" actress Jenny Slate plays Zoe, a castaway on the island. Slate's wacked out Zoe has a running gag about sports balls, ala Tom Hanks in "Cast Away," that somehow got a laugh from me every time the movie brought it back.

Will kids get a reference to "Cast Away?" Probably not; but the wacky bits that Slate does with the balls, including naming them, are expansive enough to get laughs no matter whether you get the reference. It's also nice to see the creators of 'Chipwrecked' throw moms and dads a bone.

"Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked" is not a great movie; it doesn't rise to the level of great family movies like "The Muppets" or "Rango," but the fact that the makers of 'Chipwrecked' worked hard enough to improve this awful series is admirable. Director Mike Mitchell could have coasted on the 'Alvin' brand name and he didn't and I appreciate that.

Unlike the first two films, there is the sense of an actual idea in "Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked." The movie aims to dialogue a little with kids about growing up and learning and earning responsibility. It's a little idea and it's not pursued with much depth but it's one more idea than existed in the first two movies combined.

Movie Review A Haunting in Connecticut

The Haunting in Connecticut (2009) 

Directed by Peter Cornwell 

Written by Adan Simon, Tim Metcalfe

Starring Virginia Madsen, Kyle Gallner, Martin Donovan, Amanda Crew, Elias Koteas 

Release Date March 27th, 2009 

Published March 26th, 2009 

Virginia Madsen is a very talented actress. This assertion on my part is well demonstrated in her Oscar nominated performance in Sideways. However, her name on a marquee inspires the kind of fuzzy, hazy, disconnected state that only Pink Floyd could properly describe. Place her name above the title The Haunting in Connecticut and the combination inspires the kind of yawn that can only be described as jaw breaking.

The Haunting in Connecticut is a movie that commits the cardinal sin of movies. It is not merely bad, it's boring. Not boring merely in the way that one could be doing better things with their time but boring in a way that one is subjected to. As if locked in a room with blank walls and no windows. Gene Siskel put it best 'This movie does not improve upon a blank screen viewed for the same length of time.'

Virginia Madsen is ostensibly the star of The Haunting in Connecticut though one might fairly claim ennui as the film's true marquee element. Madsen plays a country mom to a cancer-addled son, played by Kyle Gallner, who decides to move her family to a suburban home closer to the local hospital. Because the family is not rich she accepts the first home in their price range. This, despite the fact that the home used to be a working funeral home. Poverty is stronger than the darkly ironic, fate tempting idea of moving her dying son into what used to be a funeral parlor.

Dad (Martin Donovan) is forced to stay in the country for work reasons but the rest of the family is coming to the creepy new house. The rest of the family include a toe-headed little brother and a pair of female cousins whose living arrangements are somewhere in the exposition, likely during the onset of my movie-long malaise.

Of course it's not long before the ghosts begin tossing plates and the shrieking musical score begins trying to convince us that all of this is pretty scary. I remain unconvinced. Along the way we greet a few more unhappy clichés including conventional horror movie misdirection where people hear noises that they think are scary but are really cats or birds or relatives.

There is even a brief digression into the child in danger plot as the youngest children are briefly menaced by apparitions. This is thankfully brief but hey if you are going to fly by on cliché you may as well throw them all in there. Clichés at the very least are familiar and even distracting yet somehow even they come off as boring in this film. It's difficult to describe this level of boredom. Imagine Ben Stein in Ferris Bueller mode reading the instruction manual for a ford fiesta. Now take that down a notch and you can imagine something close to what I felt during The Haunting in Connecticut.

This is surprising considering the 'true story' the film is allegedly based on. Al and Carmen Snedeker are a real family who moved into what was a former funeral home in Connecticut back in the mid-80's. After moving in they did indeed report a number of creepy goings on. Their story inspired Ed and Lorraine Warren, the spiritualist con artists who crafted the Amityville Horror legend years earlier, to come and craft an elaborate haunting for the Snedekers.

Not surprisingly, the whole thing became a bestselling book and now this movie. Except that the movie seems to have left out some of the more juicy and entertaining details. Not the ghosts, the bodies allegedly stuffed in the walls, or the alleged séances that may or may not have taken place as a regular bit of funeral home business. That's all in there somewhere, I think, I may have blacked out briefly. 

No. It's the part where Al and Carmen cop to having been raped by apparitions repeatedly over the TWO YEARS they lived in this house. Disturbing on so many levels? Yes, but definitely not boring. This detail was dropped from the movie either in a nod to good taste (Booo) or because writing this detail into the movie would take more effort than the writers were willing to put into it. 

Or, even more likely, it was a commerce over creepiness decision. The film is more bankable as a PG 13 feature not featuring ghostly forced sex. I'm not sure what this says about me but I cannot honestly tell you whether I preferred the boredom or the creeptastic, ungodly alternative left out of the final film. I guess we'll never know. The Haunting in Connecticut is what it is, an utterly mind numbing bore.

Movie Review The Haunting of Molly Hartley

The Haunting of Molly Hartley (2008) 

Directed by Mickey Liddell 

Written by Rebecca Sonnenshine, John Travis

Starring Haley Bennett, Chace Crawford, Annalynne McCord, Ron Canada 

Release Date October 31st, 2008

Published October 31st, 2008 

If PG-13 horror movies get anymore tired they are going to have to sell Starbucks coffee with every ticket. I needed an extra strength caffeine back-up to stay awake during the latest mind numbing PG-13 'horror movie,' The Haunting of Molly Hartley, a slow witted, formulaic piece of over-marketed junk.

Haley Bennett is Molly Hartley, a pretty but troubled young girl whose mother tried to kill her. Mom stabbed Molly but she survived and mom went away. Now Dad (Jake Weber) has moved her to a new High School where she befriends the most popular and handsome boy in the school, Joseph (Chace Crawford).

But, of course, Haley's past can't help but follow her to the new school. First it's terrible nightmares about her mom's attack. Then word gets around that her mother is in an asylum, kids can be so cruel. Then Molly begins to have her own psychotic freak outs, just like mom's and then... well things get even worse with one last twist.

First time feature director Mickey Liddell directed The Haunting of Molly Hartley with all the skill of a sledgehammer hitting cement. The film offers thuddingly loud jump-scare sounds, whipsaw camera tricks and faux suspense to build what little atmosphere it can in order to hold us in place till the big twist is revealed.

It doesn't work. By the time we get to the 'twist' the audience's minds have drifted to other things such as, dinner after the show, laundry, ceiling tiles, napping., stamp collecting, texting, crossword puzzles, the stimulus package, navel lint, favorite beers, ear hair, other movies, is it cold enough for a winter coat or warm enough for a jacket?

Should I go back to the gym? Did I bring my checkbook? That was a good milkshake? Was that my phone? What's that stuck to my shoe...

Oops sorry, The Haunting of Molly Hartley is so deathly dull and preposterously forgettable that I managed to drift off during my review. You can go ahead and skip the rental on The Haunting Of Molly Hartley, unless your most inane thoughts need a dull bleating soundtrack. Then maybe.