Movie Review: The Terminal

The Terminal (2004) 

Directed by Steven Spielberg 

Written by Sacha Gervasi, Jeff Nathanson 

Starring Tom Hanks, Catherine Zeta Jones, Stanley Tucci, Chi McBride, Diego Luna, Zoe Saldana

Release Date June 18th, 2004 

Published June 17th, 2004 

I thought it was an urban legend. My brother and I were discussing the new Steven Spielberg/Tom Hanks flick The Terminal when he told me the story of Merhan Karimi Nasseri. Mr. Nasseri has spent the past 15 years in the international terminal of Charles De Gaulle Airport in France after his bag was stolen with all of his identification.

The Iranian born Mr. Nasseri has lived off the kindness of the airport staff for 15 years, has inspired 2 documentaries and a French film called Tombes Du Ciel or Lost In Transit starring the legendary Jean Rochefort. Now Mr. Nasseri is a getting a big time American treatment from Steven Spielberg and Tom Hanks. Sadly, this trifle of a film is exposed for it’s light as featheriness by the dramatic true story on which it is loosely based.

In The Terminal, Tom Hanks is Viktor Navorsky who has come to New York City from his Eastern block home of Krakozhia. Unfortunately while Mr. Navorsky was flying to America, Krakozhia plunged into civil war and the government dissipated. Now in America, Mr. Navorsky is a man without a country, his Visa is invalid because the U.S government can’t recognize a ruling power in Krakozhia. Until the war ends and a new government is established, Viktor must remain in the airport terminal.

Breaking the bad news to Viktor is the not so kindly head of the airport’s Homeland Security Office Frank Dixon (Stanley Tucci). It is Frank who could find away to really help Viktor but instead strands him with bureaucratic red tape and then takes a sadistic interest in preventing Viktor from making the most of his desperate situation.

Stuck in the International terminal, that looks more like a mall than an airport thanks to the numerous real brand name stores, Viktor waits and involves himself in the lives of the airport staff. There is Diego Luna as a food delivery worker who trades Viktor free food in exchange for Viktor’s help in romancing an INS Agent played by Zoë Saldana. Although Viktor knows he can’t leave, he visits the INS office every day to have his passport declined.

Chi McBride is a baggage handler with a soft spot for late night card games. He sees Viktor as a soft mark for poker games but soon becomes a real friend. And then there is the janitor, an Indian man played by Kumar Pallana, a lovable oddball with a secret past. Pallana provides the biggest laughs of the film and none of them at his expense.

Finally, there is Catherine Zeta Jones as Amelia, a flight attendant who takes a shine to Viktor but can’t get involved because she is hopelessly involved with a married man played briefly by Michael Nouri. While she tries to resist the urge to be with the married man, Amelia and Viktor come close to romance until the plot conspires to split them.

Despite the film’s dramatic underpinnings, everything is kept very light and airy. In fact, it’s so light that it floats off the screen and almost immediately from your memory. Tom Hanks, arguably our most talented actor, here plays a sort of lovable puppy of a character whose moral fiber is so unquestionable, he is too good to be true. There is nothing wrong with a character that is virtuous but Viktor is Touched By An Angel good. Maybe that explains why Stanley Tucci's officious bureaucrat hates him so much anyone this perfect would eventually get on your nerves. Still, Tucci is too evil to be true until the plot calls for him to look the other way.

Too good to be true describes most of The Terminal which suffers from a script full of contrivances. Viktor quickly learns English, lucks into the food deal with Diego, lucks into a job working construction in the terminal and in typical forced romantic comedy fashion, he has a meet-cute with Amelia that becomes a running gag.

I have been quite hard on The Terminal to this point so I should point out that their are a number of good things about the film. Steven Spielberg's direction is typically strong in its structure and look. Cinematographer Janusz Kaminsky relishes the freedom given him by a set that was built specifically for the film and for his camera to be positioned as he pleased.

The film’s biggest star may in fact be the set created by production designer Alex McDowell. Rather than trying to wrangle shooting time in a real airport terminal, McDowell and his team of designers built a terminal inside of a Los Angeles airport hangar. The flawless design is a seamless recreation of any major airport terminal in the country right down to the uncomfortable benches, the ungodly level of branding, and astoundingly high prices.

However, without a well-told story to decorate the terrific set, the movie isn't worth anymore than it's production design. The Terminal is likable and sweet, and occasionally quite funny, but it is also inconsistent, simpleminded, and lighter than air. Tom Hanks is his typically likable self and Mr. Spielberg's direction is of his usual quality. It's unfortunate that the script by Sacha Gervasi and Jeff Nathanson is far below the quality of their work.

Movie Review Larry Crowne

Larry Crowne (2011) 

Directed by Tom Hanks 

Written by Tom Hanks, Nia Vardalos 

Starring Tom Hanks, Julia Roberts, Bryan Cranston, Gugu Mbatha Raw, Taraji P Henson

Release Date July 1st, 2011 

Published June 30th, 2011 

"Larry Crowne" is a disappointment on multiple levels. First, and most important, is how truly awful a movie "Larry Crowne" is. Boring, banal, pointless and at times bordering on amateurish. Then there is the fact that the film stars two of the biggest stars of the past 25 years of film, Julia Roberts and Tom Hanks.

And finally, there is the fact that Tom Hanks co-wrote and directed this failure of sub-sitcom humor and cloying romance. Tom Hanks had shown so much promise as the director of the charming period rock n' roll movie "That Thing You Do." To see him deliver something as charm-free and banal as "Larry Crowne" is just sad.

Tom Hanks stars in the title role of Larry Crowne. Larry is maybe the nicest, sweetest guy you would ever want Tom Hanks to play; he's Forrest Gump minus most of the mental handicaps. Larry was in the Navy for more than 20 years but when asked about it he's quick with a humble smile and an admittance that he was just a cook. Awww.

Larry's wife divorced him several years ago, before they could have kids but after they had bought their suburban dream home. Since then, Larry has thrown himself into his work, taking great pride in being an eight time employee of the month at U-Mart, a Wal-Mart/Target Superstore clone.

Unfortunately for Larry, he never went to college. At UMart you can only move up to management if you have a degree and without one, Larry can't move up so he must move on. Fired from his beloved retail job, Larry finds the job market unwelcoming. Lucky for him, his neighbor has an idea, Community College.

If Larry can get a degree maybe he can get his job back or an even better job. Is the movie over? No, it has only begun as Larry returns to school and immediately acquires a new best friend, a perfect pixie named Talia (Gugu Mbatha-Raw) who immediately sets about changing Larry's life around; new clothes, new haircut, new friends and boom, slightly new Larry. She's a manic pixie dream-best friend. 

Meanwhile, in another movie, Julia Roberts plays a slightly alcoholic Community College professor who happens to have Larry Crowne in one of her classes. From time to time the camera ditches Larry to follow the professor into her sad life with her porn addicted, unemployed husband, Dean (Bryan Cranston).

Oh if only she could get a little Larry time; his cuddliness and good humor would without a doubt brighten her day and solve all of troubles. Oops. I maybe should have offered a spoiler alert there. Then again, did you think "Larry Crowne" was going to star Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts and they weren't going to be matched up?

The fact is, romantic comedies aren't about suspenseful plotting, they're about setting believable, interesting, roadblocks between potential love mates and watching them humorously negotiate said roadblocks on their way to a chirpy happy ending. Rom-coms are about the journey and in the case of "Larry Crowne," it's not a great journey.

Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts demonstrate a stunning lack of chemistry in "Larry Crowne." In fact, Hanks has a great deal more chemistry with young Gugu Mbatha-Raw than with Julia Roberts. That however, would be a different, possibly more interesting movie. That movie would at least have the tension of a cross-racial May-December romance.

"Larry Crowne," on the other hand, has no tension whatsoever. As Roger Ebert points out perfectly in his review, Larry Crowne begins as a good guy and progresses through the movie as a good guy before ending as a good guy. There is no arc to "Larry Crowne." We know where the movie is going and it gets there with a minimum of humor and zero tension, as if complicating the plot might make the audience uncomfortable.

Oh, but there is the porn addict husband, right? He's a source of tension isn't he? He's played by Breaking Bad's Bryan Cranston. That must be contentious? But it's not, the script deals the husband out of the story with such simplicity as to have simply forgotten he was even there.

It's shocking and sad just how bad "Larry Crowne" is. I am a huge Tom Hanks fan but I cannot deny just how banal the whole thing is. The humor is amateurish, the romance is lifeless and perfunctory and the movie just sort of stands around smiling pleasantly and hoping that all of the Tom Petty songs on the soundtrack, there are like a dozen of them, will be entertaining enough to distract from the dullness of what little story there is.

Movie Review Hall Pass

Hall Pass (2011) 

Directed by Peter and Bobby Farrelly 

Written by Peter and Bobby Farrelly, Pete Jones, Kevn Barnett 

Starring Owen Wilson, Jason Sudeikis, Jenna Fischer, Christina Applegate, Richard Jenkins

Release Date February 25th, 2011 

Published February 24th, 2011

Peter and Bobby Farelly haven't been relevant since they rode the public's brief fascination with Jack Black in the early 2000's to a hit with “Shallow Hal.” Since then the brothers have floundered half focused on new material and half obsessed with making a movie about the Three Stooges. The Stooges movie has been gestating since the late 90's with a variety of acting combinations dropping in and out with nothing to show for it.

Finally, the guys who started the man-child comedy revolution with movies like “There's Something About Mary” are back at full strength and making the kind of movie that was their forte. “Hall Pass” is a small miracle of outrageously raunchy humor with a good heart that made ``Mary,’ “Kingpin” and “Shallow Hal” hits.

Owen Wilson stars in “Hall Pass” as Rick, an early 40's father of three happily married for more than 15 years to Maggie (Jenna Fischer). Three kids have taken the spark out of the marriage lately and more and more Maggie is catching Rick lusting after other women like a horny old teenager.

More troubled are Rick and Maggie's best friends Fred (Jason Sudeikis) and Grace (Christina Applegate). They have no kids and no spark; leaving Fred to masturbate in the front seat of their minivan lest she catch him. (If you're wondering how that bit of information pays off, see the movie.) Rick and Fred commiserate over their troubled love lives at a local coffee shop while lusting after an Aussie barista named Leigh (Nicky Whelan) whose nubile-ness represents everything they fantasize about.

After speaking to a mutual friend “The View's Joy Behar in an unshowy cameo) Maggie and Grace come up with the idea of a Hall Pass. The concept is simple, one week off from marriage to do whatever the guys want, guilt free. Either they will spend the week striking out or they will get whatever cheating they were going to do anyway out of their systems.

This is the kind of simple, straight forward set up that Ron Howard and Vince Vaughn botched in “The Dilemma.” The Farrelly Brothers demonstrate that it takes more than just the idea to make the movie; you need characters and big gags that pay off to really make it work.

Owen Wilson shows a heretofore untapped talent for playing a middle aged dork. Usually cast as the life of the party guy, Wilson slips effortlessly into the role of Rick like one in the long line of 80's rock 'n roll t-shirts Rick thinks is cool. What Rick and Fred think is cool goes a long way for laughs in “Hall Pass.”

Jason Sudeikis is a real scene stealer in “Hall Pass;” offering the same kind of randy, goofy, raunch-ridden asides that he brought to his equally funny supporting role in last year's “Going the Distance” with Drew Barrymore and Justin Long. Sudeikis plays a great douchebag but when the role calls for him to morph into a good guy you believe it fully.

The gags in “Hall Pass” range from the classically Farrelly bathroom jokes, including some truly explosive diarrhea, to more self aware stuff reflecting the ways in which guys really talk. A scene taking place in the home of a mutual friend that neither Rick or Fred really like demonstrates that guys can be as catty as women are about the people they envy, they just have a more blunt and colorful way of being catty.

”Hall Pass” is uproariously funny with big gags mixing with strong characters and in the end a believable amount of heart minus the treacle that most other, similar films pack on when they don't have the goods to really earn audience sympathies. The Farrelly Brothers haven't been this funny in over a decade. See “Hall Pass” and rejoice and who knows, maybe that Stooges movie will actually come out someday.

Movie Review: Drive Angry 3D

Drive Angry 3D (2011) 

Directed by Patrick Lussier

Written by Todd Farmer, Patrick Lussier

Starring Nicolas Cage, Amber Heard, William Fichtner, Billy Burke, Tom Atkins, Charlotte Ross

Release Date February 25th, 2011 

Published February 25th, 2011 

Didn't Nicolas Cage already play a guy who escaped from hell? What movie was that? Didn't “Con Air” guy escape from hell? What about that “Bangkok Dangerous” hitman character? “Ghost Rider?” I don't remember or really care. Nicolas Cage is the only actor on the planet who could so nonchalantly play a guy who escaped from hell and leave you wondering if he's done it before.

”Drive Angry 3D” stars Nicolas Cage as John Milton and if you get the reference in the name you are not likely the target audience for this movie; an almost delicious bit of irony. Milton, as he prefers to be called, John is just too ordinary, is hunting for a cult leader (Billy Burke) who murdered his daughter and has taken Milton's baby granddaughter hostage with the intent on sacrificing her in order to literally raise hell to earth.

How intent is Milton to save his granddaughter? Well, he literally escaped from hell and to top that off, he stole Satan's very own God Killer shotgun. After torching his own muscle car in order to kill some bad guys, Milton needs a ride. Enter Piper (Amber Heard) who has a 69 Charger and enough bad attitude to match Milton bad guy for bad guy.

Together Milton and Piper set on the cult leader's trail all the while being tracked themselves by a cryptic man in a suit who calls himself 'The Accountant' (William Fichtner). We learn that 'The Accountant' works for the Dark Lord Satan but whether he is out to help or hinder Milton's quest is debatable until the end.

”Drive Angry 3D” is directed with great energy by Patrick Lussier who brought a similar edgy, low brow, ugliness and grit to his remake of “My Bloody Valentine.” Unfortunately, that film was a million times more inventive than anything in “Drive Angry 3D” which plays like a series of car chases broken up by Nicolas Cage grunting and standing slump shouldered, lost in thoughts none of us could even imagine. Don't get me wrong, there is a heavy amount of kitsch to be mined from Cage in “Drive Angry 3D” but not the so bad its good kind.

Cage brings zero humor to the role of Milton and co-star Amanda Heard is similarly far too earnest for this material. “Drive Angry 3D” cries out for the kind of over the top Nicolas Cage that drove his “Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans” to heights of manic, lunatic, craziness. Instead, a subdued Cage in “Drive Angry 3D” cannot make even a scene of fully clothed love making while shooting bad guys work as a comic set piece.

There is a good deal of effort on display in “Drive Angry 3D,” especially from Director Patrick Lussier who deserved better from his star. “Drive Angry 3D” has the elements in place for some seriously B-Movie fun but Cage refuses to have any fun and the movie sinks under the weight of his seriousness.

Movie Review The Adjustment Bureau

The Adjustment Bureau (2011) 

Directed by George Nolfi 

Written by George Nolfi 

Starring Matt Damon, Emily Blunt, Anthony Mackie, John Slattery, Terence Stamp 

Release Date March 4th, 2011

Published March 3rd, 2011 

Fate versus free will is the debate at the heart of “The Adjustment Bureau,” or so the movie wants you to believe. There is little ambiguity about the side the film comes down on: Both Sides. Surprise! A mainstream entertainment that tries to be all things to all sides; hey taking a side might cost a potential ticket buyer.

As irksome as the compromised plot of “The Adjustment Bureau” is, I can't stay mad at the movie because the makers placed Matt Damon and Emily Blunt at the center of their faux conflict. Damon and Blunt have such wonderful, unforced romantic chemistry that “The Adjustment Bureau” adjusts from a bad idea to a not terrible bit of romantic goofery.

Matt Damon stars in “The Adjustment Bureau” as Congressman David Norris, a rising star and bad boy Democrat. We meet David as he is running for Senate from the great state of New York and falling victim to one of the lamest scandals ever to befall a politician, especially one from New York.

With his campaign derailed, David is preparing his concession speech in a hotel men's room when he meets Elise (Blunt), hiding out in said men's room to avoid hotel security. She hears much of David's lame speech and unintentionally nudges him toward something slightly more genuine.

What we see of the speech doesn't really warrant the political superstardom the movie claims for David but maybe the better stuff is on the editing room floor. It doesn't really matter, the film's depiction of politics is not central to the plot which really kicks in after David takes a private sector gig, working for his pal Charlie (Michael Kelly).

Men in hats played by Anthony Mackie and Mad Men's John Slattery have been shadowing David since we met him and after he loses they step in to inform us that David has to have his path adjusted. It will be Mackie's job to slow David down on his way to work so an adjustment can be made at work. When that slowdown doesn't happen, David winds up meeting Elise again and his path gets out of control.

The man in charge or the Chairman or God or whatever, doesn't want David and Elise together; it's not part of David's life plan which may or may not involve the Presidency. Should David choose to continue pursuing Elise he will be lobotomized and the process will begin all over again, just with someone other than David.

Unfortunately, David's attraction to Elise is more powerful than the threat to becoming President or potential frontal lobe dismemberment. He chases her down and when one of the adjusters decides to help him out, plans begin to diverge toward chaos.

The ideas in “The Adjustment Bureau” are interesting but they are not all that well explored. The film is based, not surprisingly, on a short story by Phillip K. Dick which explored the theme of fate versus free will in a more thorough and concise manner in a much shorter amount of time.

Writer-director George Nolfi appreciates the ideas of Dick's story but his movie doesn't really explore the themes. Instead, we get a lot of chase scenes and scenes between Matt Damon and Emily Blunt that do well to distract us and then scenes with Damon and Anthony Mackie that remind us that the movie isn't very good.

Nothing against Mackie, it's not his fault that his character is more functionary than character. The same goes for John Slattery and Terrence Stamp who don't so much have character arcs as spots they have to hit in order to throw a wrench in Damon's plans. That wouldn't be so bad if they at least had interesting things to say, maybe if they were funny or brought any real energy to their work. 

But no, these adjuster characters have few emotions beyond being tired from their ungodly workload; there are several billion people with paths to adjust. Their dialogue is mostly expository with Mackie coming off, at times, like he has one of those videogame bubbles over his head in order to illustrate the instructions Damon must have for his next move in the game. 

Now, it sounds like I hated “The Adjustment Bureau” but I don't. Despite the major plot issues I walked out of “The Adjustment Bureau” smiling thanks to stars Matt Damon and Emily Blunt. Damon is at his charismatic best investing David Norris with the oily charm of a politician and the ability to convert genuinely into an average guy. 

When Damon is opposite the beautiful Ms. Blunt his eyes light and the whole movie seems to perk up. Emily Blunt has that essential quality of a star ingenue; beauty combined with that something behind the eyes that holds an audience in rapt attention to whatever she is trying to communicate. These two brilliant people together are irresistible and when the rest of the plot gets out of their way, it works. 

Is that really enough to recommend “The Adjustment Bureau?” Well, for me it is. It's hard to say whether this appeal will be there for all audiences; fair to guess that many people will be so disappointed with the failed sci-fi plot that they can't like the movie. For me, Damon and Blunt are worth the price of a ticket and in the future, easily worth a look at the Redbox.

Movie Review: Take Me Home Tonight

Take Me Home Tonight (2011)

Directed by Michael Dowse 

Written by Jackie Filgo, Jeff Filgo 

Starring Topher Grace, Anna Faris, Teresa Palmer, Dan Fogler 

Release Date March 4th, 2011 

Published March 3rd, 2011 

Nostalgia is a great selling point; so long as the seller knows truly what is being sold. You are essentially selling memories back to those who had them. You are selling familiarity and the comfort of things remembered. The makers of “Take Me Home Tonight” are aware of what they are selling and the pitch is funny enough that you won't regret buying it. 

Topher Grace is the star of “Take Me Home Tonight” as confused underachiever, Matt Franklin. Sure, Matt graduated from M.I.T but he's now back home in California and working at Suncoast Video at the mall. Matt has no idea what to do with the rest of his life but his day takes shape when into his store walks his high school crush, Tori Fredericking (Teresa Palmer.) 

She is attending an annual party being thrown by Matt's twin sister Wendy (Anna Faris) and her jerk boyfriend Kyle (Chris Pratt), a party Matt has always skipped. He will be attending this year however because tonight he will finally ask for Tori's number. Along for the ride will be Matt's only friend Barry (Dan Fogler) who skipped college but is intent on getting the experience of college back in a single night. 

It's an epic night with fights and drugs and sex and all kinds of classic 80's music from the title song, courtesy of Eddie Money, to The Safety Dance, to INXS and even a breakdancing scene. I think I heard a little Duran Duran in there as well; you can't have an 80's set movie without Duran Duran can you? 

Continuity nerds may want to skip “Take Me Home Tonight” as there are plenty of anachronisms to catalog but for those who don't know what year a particular song was released or when a particular TV show debuted, you should be able to focus on the more charming elements of this warm bit of Nostalgia.

Of all of the cast members on “That 70's Show,” another warm bit of nostalgia, Topher Grace has always been my favorite. Grace has an every guy quality, a nebbishy charm, that makes him more relatable than Ashton or Danny Masterson and the rest who all seemed to work very hard at appearing cool. 

Grace did yeoman's work on “That 70's Show” demonstrating how ‘trying’ to be cool is a futile effort. Called upon to continually sacrifice his dignity, Grace did so with a genuine comic flair. He has brought that same genuine quality to his film work, though few have noticed, his movies like “Win a Date With Tad Hamilton,” “In Good Company” and “P.S” have been almost universally ignored. 

Box office success however is not the measure of a good performer and Grace shows in “Take Me Home Tonight” why he is so damn likable, he works harder at it than most do. Grace is funny; he has a good instinct for the laugh. He's handsome in a non-threatening way, i.e. you could leave your girlfriend alone in a room with him without worry. 

It all adds up in “Take Me Home Tonight” to a lead character who is easy to like and easy to root for and it's shocking when you realize how many movies fail at creating that character. On the weekend “Take Me Home Tonight” hits theaters so does a movie called “Beastly” where not one thoughtful, interesting or even modestly likable character emerges. 

See “Take Me Home Tonight” for that warm, nostalgic feeling it offers and for Topher Grace, a funny guy who deserves a better box office fate than some of his former co-stars who have seen so much unearned adulation and star-power despite having a lesser resume.

Movie Review: Beastly

Beastly (2011) 

Directed by Daniel Barnz 

Written by Daniel Barnz 

Starring Alex Pettyfer, Vanessa Hudgens, Mary Kate Olson, Neil Patrick Harris, Dakota Johnson

Release Date March 4th, 2011 

Published March 3rd, 2011 

Take the legendary French faery tale “Beauty and the Beast” and cross it with the elegant and joyous Disney cartoon and Jean Cocteau's artist's rendering of the story from 1946 and then throw all of it in the trash save for the very barest bones of the original premise and you find “Beastly,” a dreary rendering of a 2007 novel that was already a shallow recreation of what came before.

”Beastly” stars Alex Pettyfer as Kyle an ugly on the inside Big Man on Campus who tells anyone who will listen how easy life is when you are incredibly good looking. He's ‘Zoolander’ without the irony and dumber. Kyle is cursed by Kendra (Mary Kate Olson), a witch, who sentences Kyle to magically become as ugly on the outside as he is inside.

Suddenly, Kyle has scars all over his head and weird tattoos that cohere to the seasons as they pass. Kyle has one year from the beginning of his curse to find a woman who will love him despite his hideousness.  The top candidate for this gig is Lindy (Vanessa Hudgens), a not so popular but pretty girl who cares about the environment.

How Lindy comes to live in Kyle's posh riverside digs, paid for by his news anchor daddy (Peter Krause), is one of a litany of contrivances in “Beastly.” Briefly, Kyle becomes a stalker Batman who rescues Lindy from drug dealers and saves her druggie dad from a murder rap. The filmmakers craft this scenario with a deathly seriousness that only underlines how over the top nutty it all is.

Then there is Kyle and Lindy's eventual romance which happens as they spend several months with Kyle's tutor, played by Neil Patrick Harris as a blind man, studying one single poem. Now, to be fair, with the amount of depth given to these two characters one cannot be surprised that it would take them several months to read a single poem but one would think they would eventually move on to the meanings and themes at least.

Now, no one wants to watch these two pretty folks learn anything; we want to watch them fall in love. And what a treat that is as after their months of poem reading, Kyle and Lindy do fall in love but her daddy gets in the way leaving Kyle only days to get her to say 'I love you.’ This leads to the film's next bizarre contrivance called 'why doesn't dorko just answer his stupid phone instead of waiting to confess his love at the last minute of the last day.' But that is a little too spoilery, so I won't go into it.

”Beastly” is a serious bit of foolishness, a post-ironic love story that begs for a little knowing wink and someone other than Neil Patrick Harris to puncture the pompous sincerity on display. Nothing against Mr. Harris who has the film's only sense of humor but he is merely playing his ‘How I Met Your Mother’ character as a blind guy. It's a lazy performance but then Harris is likely the only one who saw the writing on the wall and figured 'why bother with my best effort.'

Alex Pettyfer sure is pretty and with “Beastly” and last month's “I Am Number 4” Hollywood seems dedicated to making him happen. That's lucky for Mr. Pettyfer because if Hollywood were merit based rather than 'look at me' based he might be struggling for a TV pilot right now. Instead I am sure Mr. Pettyfer is readying some sort of summer or fall picture that will once again show off his shirtlessness.

In fairness to Alex Pettyfer, Hollywood did the same thing to Johnny Depp and Heath Ledger and both reacted by going into their heads, rebelling against the system and finding depths that no one expected of them. Mr. Ledger's sad fate aside, Mr. Pettyfer still has a chance to rebel against the image makers and craft his own path to real stardom.