Movie Review: The Accidental Spy

The Accidental Spy (2001) 

Directed by Teddy Chan 

Written by Ivy Ho

Starring Jackie Chan, Scott Adkins 

Release Date January 18th, 2001 

Published September 4th, 2001 

Never having been a fan of Jackie Chan, I'm not sure why I rented The Accidental Spy. I respect Chan for his work ethic and impressive stunt coordination. However, his acting leaves much to be desired. That is probably because he doesn't speak English very well. Therefore, it may be an unfair judgment on my part. I'm told his early work in Hong Kong is far more spectacular than his recent Hollywood fare. 

I'm sure that's true because his Hollywood stuff, no matter how good the stunts are, are still typical brainless crowd-pleasers with no real point of view; just strung together action scenes and a couple of humorous one liners. So now, I'm still wondering what made me rent The Accidental Spy, and still don't have a clue.

As we join the story we meet Buck (Chan) an affable fitness store clerk. After a tough day at work, Buck foils a bank robbery. The robbery leads to his receiving a letter from a lawyer informing him of his dying father and a possible multimillion-dollar inheritance.

An intrigued Buck meets his father, who was thought to have died in the Korean War. In reality, Dad was a secret agent. Now on his deathbed he offers his son the chance to win a large inheritance. To do so, he must trek to Turkey and uncover a safety deposit box, which contains more than just cash. All the while, Buck is being chased by drug dealers whom his father was secretly doing business with. 

The Accidental Spy is an odd film. At times it's typical Chan slapstick and chop-socky, but it also wants to be taken seriously as it introduces one of two love interests--a young girl hooked on drugs and enslaved by Buck's pursuers. The odd switch in tone never comes together and Chan's tomfoolery deflates any drama the film might have had, making The Accidental Spy a very uneven, and at times dull, movie. 

As time goes by it's no surprise that Chan's action stunts slow down a little, and you can see it in this film, which has as much exposition and dialogue as it does fight scenes. As you can imagine, exposition isn't Jackie's strong suit and the awful overdubbing of American voices over Chinese faces makes the dialogue almost unbearable. That said, I will not judge Jackie Chan's Hong Kong oeuvre by this one film. In fact, I am going to make a point of seeing more Hong Kong movies as a way of broadening my horizons. 

Maybe that is why I rented The Accidental Spy. 

Movie Review: Amelie

Amelie (2001) 

Directed by Jean Pierre Jeunet

Written by Jean Pierre Jeunet 

Starring Audrey Tautou, Matthieu Kassovitz 

Release Date September 1st, 2001 

Published December 26th, 2001 

Working at a video store I've developed more than a few video pet peeves. One that sticks out is when a foreign film is released and some Jethro with a mullet asks me (direct quote) "Do I have to read this video". After resisting the urge to beat them senseless with the video in question I explained that the film is subtitled. Jethro then returns the film to the shelf and retrieves, I swear this is true, a copy of Joe Dirt. I bring this up because it won't be long until the brilliant French subtitled film Amelie will be out on video.

Indeed, Jethro will not be seeing Amelie and it's his loss because it's one of the best films of the last 12 months. Audrey Tautou stars as the title character who after discovering a box of childhood toys belonging to a previous tenant in her apartment sets out to return the memories to this man, and if it makes a difference to him she will do the same for others. Indeed the man is touched and Amelie, witnessing the man's joy from afar, begins her journey to spread joy to others. 

Along the way she meets and inspires an invalid artist, gives a blind man a tour of the world and encounters a young man named Nino who may be able to change her life. Nino, played by Daniel Kassovitz, and the courtship between his character and Amelie is one of the most unique dances of fate we've ever witnessed. Tautou and Kassovitz barely speak to each other but their courtship is very believable as it leads its obvious conclusion.

Director Jean Pierre Jeunet (Alien Resurrection) shows a flair for beautiful visuals that make France look like the most beautiful place on Earth. Jeunet's camera clearly loves Tautou whose expressive eyes, often seen in tight mischievous close-ups, may become a calling card on par with Angelina Jolie's lips and Julia Roberts' teeth.

Amelie is not a perfect film. At times it's flights of fancy are like a French version of Ally McBeal. Nevertheless it is a wonderfully romantic and lovely movie that should make Audrey Tautou a huge international star.


Movie Review: 40 Days and 40 Nights

40 Days and 40 Nights (2002) 

Directed by Michael Lehmann 

Written by Robert Perez

Starring Josh Hartnett, Shannyn Sossomon, Paulo Costanzo, Vinessa Shaw, Griffin Dunne, Monet Mazur

Release Date March 1st 2002 

Published February 27th 2002 

In the 1980's, guys attempting to get laid became a genre all it's own. In the 90's however, political correctness threatened to destroy the horny guy movie. Now in 2002, things have become so inverted that we have a film featuring a guy doing all he can to not get laid. What is this world coming to? 40 Days & 40 Nights stars Josh Hartnett as Matt, a web designer recovering from a bad breakup by having a lot of meaningless sex. After finding sex not to be the answer, Matt decides to go in the opposite direction, no sex at all. 

Of course it is then that he meets the girl of his dreams, Erica (Shannyn Sossamon). Matt decides to try to just be friends with Erica but mistakenly does not explain his current no-sex crusade. Matt's friend and Roommate Ryan (Road Trip's Paulo Costanzo) finds out what he's up to and seize the opportunity to start a website to take bets as to whether Ryan can hold out the full 40 days. 



From there we are treated to the usual romantic comedy situations that desperately throw up lame roadblocks to keep the lovebirds apart. Of course all of the complications could be avoided if the characters were honest with one another, but if they did that there wouldn't be any movie. Director Michael Lehman obviously knew his story was weak so he also throws in a little gross-out humor to fill out the film’s just-over-90 minute runtime.

40 Days & 40 Nights is a well-crafted film. It is well shot, the performances are good. Hartnett occasionally looks like he is straining for the joke, but for the most part comes off as the likeable doofus the character is supposed to be.

In the end the film isn't bad but it is far from memorable. It is the definition of average.

Movie Review: Torque

Torque (2004) 

Directed by Joseph Kahn 

Written by Matt Johnson

Starring Martin Henderson, Ice Cube, Monet Mazur, Adam Scott, Jay Hernandez

Release Date January 16th, 2004

Published January 16th, 2004

The trailer for Torque is so eye-rollingly derivative as to bring about a physically painful reaction. The trailer inspired in me a groan of such depth it's almost indescribable. The trailer is as big, dumb and loud as any full-length action movie of the last ten years. Ear splitting metal music, dopey, mock tough guy dialogue and stunts so hokey they are beyond laughable. But it would be unfair to review the film based solely on the trailer so I actually went to see Torque and found exactly what the trailer promised it would be and worse.

Martin Henderson stars as motorcycle tough guy/ underwear model (okay not really an underwear model but you know what I mean), Cary Ford. Cary has just returned from Thailand where he was hiding from the Feds after being sought on drug charges. Cary has returned to California to set things right with the cops and get back the girl he left behind, Shane played by Monet Mazur.

With a pair of his old motorcycle buddies, Dalton (Jay Hernandez) and Val (Will Yun Lee), Cary makes his way back to LA but not without starting trouble with the motorcycle gang The Reapers, headed up by Trey (Ice Cube). Cary is able to reconnect with Shane though she fights it for a few minutes. Cary also reconnects with the guy who set him up on the drug charge, a fellow biker named Henry James (Matt Schulze). Cary still has Henry's drugs stashed somewhere and Henry wants them back. Rather than just kick Cary's ass and get the drugs back that way, Henry sets up Cary for the murder of Trey's brother (Rapper Fredro Starr). Henry will help Cary get away from Trey if Cary gives him his drugs back.

Why Henry can't just directly intimidate Cary into giving him his drugs back instead of setting up this byzantine murder plot that also involves a pair of FBI agents played by Dane Cook and Justina Machado, is one of the film’s innumerable plot issues. Then again, why do you need a plot when you have cool looking motorcycles?

Herein lies the problem with Torque. I was willing to give 2 Fast 2 Furious a pass because that film was laughably bad but had the coolest cars. Paul Walker is a terrifically bad actor, so bad that it's enjoyable to have him onscreen just to make fun of him. Torque on the other hand wants to be a better film than 2 Fast 2 Furious and it wants you to know it with lame little jokes about motorcycles being cooler and faster than cars. Unfortunately the motorcycles aren't cooler than the cars and the superior attitude of the film is badly misplaced.

Martin Henderson is a better actor than Paul Walker, which presents a different problem because there isn't much to make fun of. None of the material in the script for Torque is very good yet as delivered by Henderson it's not so terrifically bad that we can make fun of it. It's all just sort of there…it's not good, it's not bad, it's just a dull and derivative.

The action in Torque isn't all that shabby. First-time director Joseph Kahn is a pretty good technician behind the camera and he shoots some okay action stuff. None of it however rises to the memorably ridiculous levels of the worst of Bruckheimer and Bay or even it's cousins, The Fast and The Furious, and it's sequel. Sure Torque is big, it's dumb and it's loud, but in a more mediocre and far less interesting way than in a memorably good or awful way.

It's odd, I'm almost disappointed at how good Torque is. Let me correct that, I meant to say how bad it is but not as bad as it should have been to be good. It's a bad movie, but it's not bad in the way that 2 Fast 2 Furious or The Rock or Gone In 60 Seconds is bad. Torque isn't bad in that campy, fun unintentional way. It's just a bad movie and that's it.

Movie Review: Along Came Polly

Along Came Polly (2004) 

Directed by John Hamburg

Written by John Hamburg 

Starring Ben Stiller, Jennifer Aniston, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Debra Messing, Hank Azaria 

Release Date January 16th, 2004 

Published January 15th, 2004 

2004 is shaping up to be a big year for Ben Stiller. He has 3 films coming out in just the first five months of the year and is directing another. With Starsky and Hutch due in March, his much delayed teaming with Jack Black in Envy pushed to early Spring and a just-begun multi-episode stint on Larry David's HBO series “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” Stiller is going to be everywhere this year. His first film of the year, the romantic comedy Along Came Polly with Jennifer Aniston, gets 2004 off to a good start.

In Along Came Polly, Stiller is Rueben Feffer, an expert in risk management. Ruben's job as a risk evaluator for an insurance company has taught him to be quite cautious in everything he does. Cautious even in his personal life which has caused him to settle down with Lisa (Debra Messing) for what seems like a safe, life-long commitment. However, on their honeymoon in St Barts, the couple meets a French scuba diving instructor named Claude (Hank Azaria in a stellar cameo). Of course, Claude and Lisa end up in bed together, discovered by Rueben while doing it with their scuba gear still on. No one does this kind of indignity quite as well as Stiller, who is to humiliation what Jack Benny was to being a tightwad.

Returning home, Rueben is consoled by his friend and former child star Sandy (Phillip Seymour Hoffman) who tries to raise his spirits by taking him to a party. At the party Rueben runs into Polly Prince (Jennifer Aniston), a girl he went to junior high with and who now works as a cocktail waitress in between flights of fancy that have taken her all over the world.

Rueben and Polly are totally opposite personalities, Rueben is uptight, neurotic and fearful while Polly is adventurous, carefree and owns a ferret as a pet. However, like any man who sees an opportunity to be with a beautiful woman, Rueben puts aside his fears of spicy food, salsa dancing and ferrets. Of course, all of which leads to numerous comic foul-ups where his fears get the best of him. 

Once again, Stiller's talent for taking the worst that life can give him makes these varying humiliations terrifically funny. Even the awful bathroom scene after Rueben has suffered through dinner at an Indian restaurant and the spicy food has caused his irritable bowel syndrome to act up. Ugh!

The problem with Stiller's performance in Along Came Polly, as funny as he is, is that we have seen him do variations on this same character plenty of times. Rueben is essentially just an extension of the character he played in last years Duplex who was an extension of Greg Fokker in Meet The Parents (Not so coincidentally, Parents and Along Came Polly are both written and directed by John Hamburg). Further still, those roles were basically toned down takes on Stiller's role in There's Something About Mary. Stiller's act is still funny in Along Came Polly but it is growing a little too familiar and tiresome.

As for Jennifer Aniston, she once again shows why she is the Friend most likely to breakout as a bigtime film star. She's got it, acting chops and comic timing. Her role is surprisingly small as the film makes room for a number of supporting characters. Her Polly has little interaction with the supporting characters which makes her feel as if she were in a slightly different film. Unlike Cameron Diaz in the very similar There's Something About Mary, Aniston's Polly is played straight, above all of the humiliating gross out gags. Polly is central to the plot but is outside much of the humor of the film.

The best parts of the film are the supporting roles played by Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Alec Baldwin and Hank Azaria. These three terrific actors are in place to put Stiller in the most humiliating situations possible and they do their jobs well. Azaria is especially funny in his small role. Carrying his best accent since his gay Puerto Rican is The Birdcage, Azaria walks nude on the beach, murders the English language and as he should puts Stiller's Rueben in the most humiliating situations possible.

The supporting players, as good as they are, do however expose one of the films main flaws. Writer-Director John Hamburg can't decide on a comic tone. The script attempts to combine over-the-top slapstick, gross-out humor with a realistic romance. The over-the-top elements pull you out of the realistic story, rendering it less believable, especially at the end when the film wants you to get emotional about whether the romance will have a happy ending.

It's difficult to criticize a film that is as funny as Along Came Polly. The cast is terrific and there are a number of funny gags. Still, the romance never feels real because, as written, it gets stepped on by the slapsticky, gross-out humor. Thus we are left with a series of comic skits tied together loosely by a romance that is only in place to give the jokes context. I can kind of recommend Along Came Polly but with a slight reservations. 

Movie Review: Chasing Liberty

Chasing Liberty (2004) 

Directed by Andy Cadiff 

Written by Derek Guiley 

Starring Mandy Moore, Matthew Goode, Jeremy Piven, Annabella Sciorra, Mark Harmon

Release Date January January 9th, 2004

Published January 8th, 2004 

In my review of Mandy Moore's film debut A Walk To Remember, I employed the hack-y cliché “don't quit your day job” in reference to Ms. Moore's excruciatingly-bland performance. At that time, it was a justifiable, if horribly cynical, criticism of her performance. But that is no excuse for using such a cliché. Since then, Moore has made me eat those words (sort of.) Her pleasant turn in the pop-sensible teen drama How To Deal showed marked improvement over A Walk To Remember. Now, in her latest starring effort as the President's daughter in Chasing Liberty, Moore shows even more improvement as a charming, sweet leading lady.

Liberty is the secret service code name of Anna Foster who has spent her formative years in the largest possible spotlight. Anna is the 18-year-old daughter of a two-term President (Mark Harmon). When we meet Anna, she is about to head out on her first date ever. The date is a miserable failure that ends with Secret Service guns drawn on the boyfriend who mistakenly attempted a surprise gift. That's it for the boyfriend. Luckily, Anna has a trip with dad coming up that could provide an opportunity for fun, if she can shake the Secret Service.

On a state visit to Prague, Anna plans to meet up with a friend and head for Berlin for something called Love Fest. Dad doesn't want her to go but relents when she agrees to having a pair of top agents, Jeremy Piven and Annabella Sciorra, follow her. That plan falls apart though when dad breaks his promise and Anna is swarmed by agents while at a concert. To lose them, Anna gets the help of Ben (Matthew Good) who whisks her away on his scooter. What Anna doesn't know is that Ben is a Secret Service agent.

Thus begins a whirlwind romantic trip across Europe as Anna thinks she is evading the Secret Service while Ben fends off her advances while trying to keep up with her. Moore and Good have little chemistry and with all the next-big-thing talk about Good, I was surprised how wooden and dull he is. Moore, on the other hand, is effervescent. Comparisons to a young Doris Day are not unwarranted. She is sunny and sweet and has lost that cloying innocence that sacked her performance in A Walk To Remember.

Chasing Liberty is not a great film. It's full of typical romantic comedy clichés and those romantic dialogue bits that always pay off at the end. The typical eye-rolling moments of realization and forgiveness that you've seen a million times are not improved upon here. What makes the film nearly passable is Moore, who has found that kind of star quality that many actresses never find. Whenever she is onscreen, I couldn't help but smile. She is aided by a funny subplot involving Piven and Sciorra's Secret Service agents who fall in love while watching the first daughter fall in love.

Maybe it's my romantic idealism, but I have always wanted to backpack across Europe with a beautiful stranger and fall in love while scamming for places to sleep for a night or thumbing a ride on the back of a farm truck on it way to some tiny village that hasn't aged since the 1800s. Chasing Liberty captures some of that romantic idealism, especially in Moore's wonderfully likable performance.

Movie Review Peter Pan

Peter Pan (2003) 

Directed by P.J Hogan 

Written by P.J Hogan 

Starring Jeremy Sumpter, Jason Isaacs, Rachel Hurd Wood, Olivia Williams, Lynn Redgrave 

Release Date December 25th, 2003 

Published December 24th, 2003 

There is a tradition on stage and in televised versions of Peter Pan that has Peter portrayed by a woman. I can’t pretend to understand why this is but it does remove some of Author J.M Barrie’s more uncomfortable suggestions about Peter and Wendy’s attraction to one another. In director P.J Hogan’s new film adaptation of the more than 100-year-old fairy tale, a boy rightfully portrays Peter. Though somewhat muted, the Peter-Wendy dynamic is once again in play. Whether or not it is to an uncomfortable degree is up to the viewer.

The legendary fairy tale about the boy who refuses to grow up stars Jeremy Sumpter in the role of Peter. However, from the beginning it’s clear that the real star of the show is Wendy played by Rachel Hurd Wood. When we meet Wendy we, like Peter, float to her window and listen in as she dazzles her younger brothers John (Harry Newell) and Michael (Freddie Popplewell) with stories of pirates, Indians and swordplay.

Their revelry is broken by the arrival of their aunt Millicent (Lynn Redgrave) who informs their parents, Mr. and Mrs. Darling (Jason Isaacs and Olivia Williams), that it is time for Wendy to begin training for marriage. This means moving her out of her shared bedroom with her brothers and beginning training in elocution and manners. Essentially, it means it’s time to grow up.

Spying on this scene, Peter decides to reveal himself to Wendy and invite her to Neverland where she won’t have to grow up. This choice is made much to the dismay of Peter’s best friend Tink (Luvigne Sagnier). The scene is filled with meaningful looks and gestures of tentative flirtation and almost uncomfortable sexual tension. At Peter's invitation, Wendy with her brothers in tow is ready to fly off to Neverland.

Once in the pink clouds and green jungles of Neverland, Wendy hears the legend of Captain Hook (as tradition holds, Jason Isaacs, who also plays Wendy's father) and his band of pirates. Of course, Wendy's clumsy little brothers are immediately captured and it's up to Peter and Wendy to save them. In a wonderful action scene filled with terrific humor and exciting swordplay, Wendy and Peter save her brothers and introduce us to Hook's other nemesis, a giant alligator with a ticking clock in its stomach. The gator was previously bitten off Hook's hand as the result of a previous fight with Peter.

All of this happens very quickly. Director P.J Hogan keeps the pace and humor moving all the way through the film slowing down only momentarily for romantic interludes between Peter and Wendy. Despite what a number of critics have said about the sexual tension and romance between Wendy and Peter, it's not as creepy as it sounds. In fact, what director P.J Hogan really captures is the breathless exhilaration of first love. What Wendy and Peter experience is the first rush of the pubescent realization of romance and you can read a lot more into that if you like. I prefer the chaste impression of two kids for whom a kiss is the most sexual idea in the world.

Many films have attempted to capture the essence of that transition from adolescence into puberty, but few films are this successful. Entirely through the use of metaphor, Peter Pan is more true to the confusing emotions and careening hormones of puberty than most films that tackle the subject head on.

To top it off the film also is one of the best looking films of the year. The special effects and production design are as spectacular as anything you've seen this year and bring even more magic to this already magical story. Credit Cinematographer Donald McAlpine and Production Designer Roger Ford with fully realizing Neverland like never before.

At the helm of it all is Hogan who comes out of nowhere with a surprisingly confident rendering of this usual material. Hogan, with the help of Michael Goldenberg, also tackled the adaptation of the screenplay giving the whole production an unexpectedly auteurist vision.

The acting by these novice young actors is also spot on, especially young Rachel Hurd Wood who is spectacular as Wendy. She brings some amazing, unspeakable quality to Wendy that I can't quite put my finger on. Call it star quality or presence, whatever it is, it's something special. She and Jeremy Sumpter, best known for his work in 2002's Frailty, have a chemistry that many adult acting pairs would envy.

This film is a terrific surprise. An exciting, visually spectacular family film. A film that never panders and never pulls back from its rich subtext the way most cookie cutter Hollywood films in the same vein do. This is a film for the whole family, a story that will entrance children with its safe but exciting action and entertain adults with its rich subtext and storytelling. Peter Pan is one of the best films of the year.

Movie Review Crash

Crash  Directed by Paul Haggis Written by Paul Haggis, Robert Moresco Starring Matt Dillon, Don Cheadle, Terence Howard, Sandra Bullock, Tha...