Movie Review: Alien Vs Predator

Alien Vs Predator (2004)

Directed by Paul W.S Anderson 

Written by Paul W.S Anderson

Starring Sanaa Lathan, Raoul Bova, Lance Henriksen

Release Date August 13th, 2004 

Published August 12th, 2004

In my research for reviewing Alien Vs Predator, one recurring theme kept coming up that absolutely fascinated me and that was the highly pretentious indignity of Alien fans who cannot fathom the idea of their beloved character being teamed with the Predator. Regardless of the fact that comic fans made Alien Vs Predator the fastest selling independent comic in history, Alien fans remained indignant. They were likely egged on by star Sigourney Weaver who famously dismissed any involvement of her Ripley character in an AvP project. 

Despite the outrage, Alien Vs Predator has finally made it to the big screen and maybe those fans were right to be so upset. Where the Alien has been dramatized by such action auteurs as Ridley Scott, James Cameron and David Fincher, Predator had the capable John McTiernan and Stephen Hopkins. Now both franchise characters come under the hack guidance of Paul W. S. Anderson, a director who has far more scorn than any director of his limited experience. Maybe Predator deserves this but Alien may in fact have deserved better. 

Alien Vs Predator's place in both franchises timeline is murky at best. It is set in modern times, after the Predator's have battled Arnold in the jungle and Danny in L.A but long before Ripley began kicking Alien ass. As the story goes a millionaire industrialist named Charles Bishop Weyland (Lance Henriksen) has discovered something beneath the ice in Antarctica that could be the most significant archaeological discovery in history. 

Using his vast fortune, Weyland puts together an international team of scientists and archaeologists to dig 2,000 feet into the earth and uncover this major find. This being unfamiliar territory for human beings, Weyland calls on one of the very few people in the world who can navigate the Antarctic, an environmental scientist named Lex Woods (Sanaa Lathan). Lex will prepare the crew including archaeologist Sebastian (Raoul Bova) and a cast of edible extras for the difficult trek. 

What the group discovers is indeed remarkable. It's a temple that combines the architecture of the ancient Mayans, Incas and Cambodians. Inside the temple is a complex technological maze that randomly shifts its walls in ways that something that old should not be able to do. Eventually they come to realize that the temple and its inhabitants are not human and there is more than one non-human in the place. Our human protagonists find themselves in the midst of an ancient Alien ritual that pits two awesome species against one another that could end with the destruction of mankind. 

That's as spoiler free as I can be without giving away which side the humans must choose in order to survive. I can say that, box office willing, there will be a sequel so don't look for a tidy resolution. Does it matter that I spoil things or not? No, but some people will sample this film whether I trash it or not so for those brave souls I have been discreet. With that out of the way, let's get to the trashing. 

Director Paul W.S. Anderson wrote and directed Alien Vs Predator and the hack style he brought to his previous films, Resident Evil, Mortal Kombat, Event Horizon, et al, is in full effect here. He should be banned from writing in the future as his ear for dialogue is akin to recent George Lucas, without the imagination. The story is credited to Anderson which is somewhat curious and controversial. Fans of the comic book will recognize the character arcs of the Alien and Predator rivalry as well as that of Lex who is very reminiscent of the Japanese heroine in the Dark Horse comic series. Anderson is the only one with a writing credit though the creators of Alien and Predator films do get character credit. 

It's understandable why no one would choose to sue for credit on Alien Vs. Predator because as it is on the big screen I can imagine people not wanting to be associated with it. 

Maybe the most egregious error of the film is it's PG-13 Rating. This clearly studio-ordered commercial choice compromises the one thing this film had going for it: the possibility of some serious headsplitting gore. Once you agree to the compromised PG-13 rating you have to keep the blood to a minimum and the deaths to their least horrendous. Immediately you lose one of the great Alien set pieces in which the Alien children explode from human chests. This spectacularly gory scene has been a staple of the franchise and here it lasts all of one second! And that one-second shot is nearly bloodless and very cheap looking. 

The film is deathly serious and could use a little humor. Not that there aren't laughs, there are laughs but they are the unintentional kind like when a character is introduced and immediately begins talking about having been away from home for too long and can't wait to get home to his kids. Like a teenager having sex at Crystal Lake, this characters fate is sealed the moment he whipped out the baby pictures. 

Poor Sanaa Lathan. This terrific young actress has had a run of good performances, mostly in romantic dramas like Love and Basketball, Disappearing Acts and Brown Sugar. Most recently she was a Tony nominee for Raisin In The Sun on Broadway. What possessed her to take on this character is beyond me. In the future, she might read the script before accepting a role, that is the only explanation I can think of for her to taken this gig. 

You might say it's noble of Paul W.S. Anderson to continue the tradition of female action heroes but as thinly written and characterized as this character is, she may have set back the cause of female action heroes for years to come. Unless you like your action heroines running and screaming in terror before luck and a very male extra-terrestrial figure enters to save their lives. 

I will say that the film does thrill when Aliens and Predators go mano a mano but the film takes a bad dialogue laden while to get to that first fight. The subsequent fights are such that you can keep score on which species is winning and that is at least momentarily involving. It's involving until one of the species wimps out and becomes an ally of the humans. The last thing anyone wants is for either the Alien or the Predator to be sensitive but that is what we get near the end. 

Now I can see why Alien fans were so upset about this film. Though their venom, or acid blood if you prefer, may be better aimed toward Paul W.S. Anderson than the Predator.

Movie Review: Alexander

Alexander (2004) 

Directed by Oliver Stone 

Written by Oliver Stone, Laeta Kalogridis 

Starring Colin Farrell, Angelina Jolie, Val Kilmer, Jared Leto, Rosario Dawson, Anthony Hopkins

Release Date November 24th, 2004

Published November 23rd, 2004 

If Aaron Spelling had made a movie about Alexander The Great, it might sound a lot like the one Oliver Stone has just pushed into theaters: A breathy, overcooked melodrama of hot-blooded hardbodies falling in and out of bed in between fighting wars. Oliver Stone's Alexander is a big budget bio-pic that would feel more at home as a trashy TV movie than as a potential Oscar nominee.

Some 300 years before the birth of Christ, one man ruled most of planet Earth before his 32nd birthday. Alexander the Great, the son of King Phillip of Macedonia (Val Kilmer) and Queen Olympias (Angelina Jolie), was never supposed to be king. Because of a feud between his mother and father, Alexander was caught in the midst of a power struggle that leads to his father's murder and suspicion that his mother may have arranged the killing. 

Regardless of how he rose to power, once Alexander took power, he lead his charges to the ends of the world conquering and civilizing all barbarian tribes along the way. His story is marked with the deaths of thousands, but history is written by the victors which may be why Alexander is remembered as a benevolent conqueror who maintained palaces and people in power even after defeating their military forces on the battlefield.

Watching Stone's take on the life of Alexander would leave you to believe that Alexander's bloodiest battles were with his own top advisors, none of whom shared his vision of Asia as part of the Macedonian empire. Alexander's men simply wanted the riches of Asia to take back to Greece or the kingdom of Babylon, but Alexander -- a regular 4th century Jesse Jackson -- wanted a rainbow coalition of subjects who would help him rule the world and mix all the races of man; a regular united colors of Benetton style conqueror. 

Yes, according to Stone, Alexander was a champion of civil rights who even took a Persian wife, Roxana (Rosario Dawson), to placate his new Persian subjects. Alexander was also a champion of gay rights as well often sharing a same-sex canoodle with slaves of various ethnicities and sharing an especially close relationship with one of his top generals, Hephaistos (Jared Leto). The two soldiers never consummate the relationship on screen but it's clear from the dewy-eyed gazes and quivery-voiced declarations that if it wouldn't hurt the box office they might have hopped into bed.

Colin Farrell has played sexually confused man-child before, in the indie A Home At The End Of The World. However, there is a big difference between a broken home teenager searching for a family and an identity and the man who united the kingdoms of man before his 32nd birthday. If you want to play the character gay, that's fine, but do it with more depth than whiny schoolgirl stares and grandiloquent speeches whose only weight comes from the fact that they are delivered with an accent.

What happened to the fire that Colin Farrell used to carry him through his best performance in Tigerland? The fire that made him a logical choice for mega-stardom? Somewhere in the making of Alexander, that fire was replaced by the petulant longings of a dewy-eyed manchild. With his childish mood swings, it's hard to believe that this guy could have conquered his mother’s bedroom let alone the known world. I don't need Alexander to be John Wayne but a little butching up couldn't hurt. 

As for his mother, Jolie's performance provides the film’s only entertaining moments; not for her eloquent line readings or smoldering presence but rather the campy Joan Collins-style overacting she employs. Her every scene reminded me of the behind the scenes scheming that Collins made so deliciously goofy on Dynasty. Kilmer is no John Forsythe but he can bite into the scenery with the best of them and here he's a regular Jeremy Irons, absolutely chewing the walls.

Oliver Stone has always been prone to excess, but even by his standards, Alexander is a little much. His ego is way out in front of his storytelling here and what should be an epic feels more like an exercise of Stone's ability to raise large amounts of studio capital to feed his massive ego. A true disaster, Alexander will be remembered on Oscar night only as the subject of one of Chris Rock's biting monologue punchlines. 

Movie Review The Jimmy Show

The Jimmy Show (2002) 

Directed by Frank Whaley 

Written by Frank Whaley, Jonathan Marc Sherman 

Starring Frank Whaley, Ethan Hawke, Carla Gugino

Release Date December 13th, 2002 

Published July 23rd, 2003 

Frank Whaley has had one of the most unique career paths in all of Hollywood. After a very brief respite in the sitcom world, Whaley moved to his true calling in independent films. He has done some small roles in big budgets flicks like, Hoffa, Born On The 4th Of July and JFK, but it was in the indies that he found his niche. 1994's Swimming With Sharks made Whaley's career. His role as a stressed-out junior agent opposite Kevin Spacey's maniacal Mike Ovitz impression gave Whaley the indie cred he needed to get to where he is today, a respected writer-director-actor. His most recent hyphenated feature is The Jimmy Show.

Though the film's settings include a comedy club, The Jimmy Show is no comedy. Whaley is Jimmy O'Brien, a shiftless New Jersey layabout who can't hold a job and dreams of being a comedian. By day he works at a supermarket stealing beer out of the back room, by night he is at the comedy club bombing miserably.

Jimmy's personal life is complicated by his love for his high school sweetheart Annie (Carla Gugino). When Annie tells him she's pregnant Jimmy, has the look of a man condemned to death as he vaguely proposes marriage. Jimmy also must take care of his invalid grandmother who he, for some reason, won't put in a nursing home despite the fact that he can't afford to care for her.

Jimmy's only solace is on stage where his act about cat food varieties soon become rambling monologues about the various indignities of his daily life. Sadly, these monologues are no funnier than his cat food bit. One night when Annie hears him going on and on about the sad state of their sex life, she decides to end the marriage and take their now-six year old daughter away to another state. It's difficult to tell whether Jimmy is unhappy that she's leaving or somewhat relieved. He halfheartedly attempts to get her back before realizing it's better to let her go.

Based on a stage play by Jonathan Marc Sherman, The Jimmy Show is structured so that the comedy club bits are the film's narration. Whenever the film jumps ahead a year or two in Jimmy's life, the time is summed up in one of Jimmy's monologues. The structure works and though the first few times Jimmy is on stage are brutal, they pick up intensity as Jimmy's anger with his station in life grows. The couple of times hecklers take Jimmy to task over his unfunny material, Jimmy's overwhelming anger and intensity seem to lead him toward something that resembles humor but instead end with Jimmy nearly getting his ass kicked.

The Jimmy Show is a difficult film to sit through for its first hour but, as Whaley's performance becomes more desperate, the performance becomes riveting. You can't help but stare at Jimmy's car wreck-like routines which never once elicit a laugh from the films club audience or those of us watching at home. The film could have used a couple of laughs, something that might keep Jimmy from seeming completely on the verge of suicide, but it's far more truthful to the story that the sadness prevails over everything.

I recommend The Jimmy Show to fans of unusual indie films and to fans of Frank Whaley's previous work such as Joe The King. The average movie watcher might want to find something else.

Movie Review Heathers

Heathers (1989) 

Directed by Michael Lehmann 

Written by Daniel Waters 

Starring Winona Ryder, Christian Slater, Shannen Doherty, Kim Walker, Lisanne Falk 

Release Date March 31st 1989 

Published March 31st 2009 

In the late 1980's, as the John Hughes boom began to wane, a film came along that exploded the teen movie genre and changed the way teen movies are seen forever. With it's twisted violence and sick humor, Heathers was a kick in the ass to any and all teen movies that came before it.Though it wasn't a huge hit in the moment, it worked to cement a budding legend in Winona Ryder while establishing Christian Slater as a heartthrob and a budding leading man in the Nicholson-Brando mold. 

The film stars Winona Ryder as Veronica, a member of the popular clique in her school, the Heathers, named for the other three girls in the group whose names were all Heather. Veronica, being the only member of the clique not named Heather, is a bit of an outcast leaving one to wonder why is she even in the group, a question she often asks herself. Veronica goes through the motions of watching her friends play cruel tricks on classmates and generally being obnoxious until she meets JD (Christian Slater).

JD is a misanthropic outcast with an intense dislike of the Heathers. Veronica falls for JD and the two set about avenging the misdeeds of the Heathers. Veronica's idea of vengeance is slightly different than JD's though. With Heather #1 (Kim Walker), Veronica just thinks they are going to make her sick with a combination of milk and orange juice, JD, however, wants to use Drano and various other household items. After eliminating Heather #1, Veronica and JD make Heather #1's death look like suicide.

Just how trendy are the Heather's, Heather 1's suicide makes the uber-bitch into a saint and makes suicide another trendy teen accessory. Veronica is horrified by what happened but equally horrified by the reaction of others to what happened. JD then convinces Veronica to undertake another staged suicide, this time it's two asshole jock football players who are dispatched as if they were a lovers suicide pact.

Once again the suicides turn the jerks into hero's and Veronica realizes JD's romantic notion of saving the school from the cliques and the jocks is actually a psychotic obsession. Winona Ryder is spectacular in what may be the best role of her career. Her delivery and timing is flawless, not to mention her chemistry with Slater who also swings for the fences and nails it. Slater's slow boil from broody boy-toy to Jack Nicholson in The Shining levels of kooky psychotic behavior is a dark comic delight. 

Heather's is cynical ironic and endlessly quotable. Nowadays, with political correctness being what it is this movie would be hard to make. That's not to say it can't be done but that it would take a great deal of savvy to find the right twisted buttons to push in this seemingly more sensitive time. Thankfully, Heathers exists as it is so who cares about whether it could be made again. The original is sharp, nasty, and completely hilarious today, yesterday and will remain so for years to come. 

Movie Review Ramona & Beezus

Ramona & Beezus (2010) 

Directed by Elizabeth Allen 

Written by Laurie Craig, Nick Pustay 

Starring Joey King, Selena Gomez, John Corbett, Bridget Moynihan, Ginnifer Goodwin, Josh Duhamel, Sandra Oh 

Release Date July 23rd, 2010 

Published July 22nd, 2010 

The movie is called “Ramona and Beezus” but it really could be called just Ramona. Beezus, played by Disney Channel star Selena Gomez, is integral to the plot, but the story is unquestionably about Ramona played by 9-year-old Joey King as whirling dervish of sweet funny chaos. That's not to speak ill of Selena Gomez, she's a charming actress, but up against young Joey King's incredible performance, it's hard for anyone to stand out. 

Ramona Quimby is a precocious kid who doesn't really go looking for trouble but certainly finds it. With her huge imagination, Ramona can turn even the most straightforward activity, like the hanging rings on the playground, into a massive adventure that ends with her nearly missing a class because she has somehow hung herself upside down. There are some who will watch Ramona daydreaming, playing and finding trouble and diagnose her with attention deficit disorder but the movie, directed by Elizabeth Allen, has no time for diagnosing its star. The movie has far more serious and true elements to examine.

In a plot twist that was not part of Beverly Cleary's sunny fun vision of life on Klickitat St. in Portland Oregon, Ramona's dad (John Corbett) loses his job just as the family is building an addition on their already sprawling home. With Mom (Bridget Moynihan) heading back to work, the stress in the house begins to affect Ramona who finds new trouble in trying to help her parents keep their house.

This dramatic plot turn however, does not get overwhelmingly dramatic and for the most part Ramona and Beezus is breezy, warmhearted and sweet. 9-year-old Joey King is wonderful as Ramona, perfectly capturing her unintentional mischievousness and the soulful look in her eyes when she inevitably makes a giant mess of things.

John Corbett is terrific as the father who stays positive, patient and caring even as he seems a little dazed being over 40 and thrust back into the job hunt. Bridget Moynihan has far less screen time but her presence is felt early on. Rounding out the cast is a sweet romantic pairing between Ramona's Aunt Bea played by Ginnifer Goodwin and Ramona's neighbor Hobart played by Josh Duhamel.

Credit Goodwin and Duhamel for putting aside star ego to take minor supporting roles - both could be taking lead roles; Duhamel is in fact hard at work on another Transformers sequel but saw quality in Ramona and Beezus and could not pass it up. “Ramona and Beezus” is wonderful family entertainment. The drama of mom and dad's marriage trouble related to his unemployment is merely the underscore to a story about a big hearted little girl who finds adventure and trouble in equal measure just by being her slightly off-kilter self.

There is a reason that decades after they first appeared on Klickitat Street, courtesy of the pen of Beverly Cleary, why “Ramona and Beezus” are still around. These are quality stories and characters that resonate through time with their radiant, fun loving spirits and big, big hearts. Joey King is wonderfully well cast and though her radiance overshadows Selena Gomez as Beezus, it speaks to Selena Gomez's generosity as an actress that she is such wonderful support to King's lead performance. 

Ramona and Beezus is a delight. 

Movie Review Shallow Hal

Shallow Hal (2001) 

Directed by The Farrelly Brothers

Written by The Farrelly Brothers 

Starring Jack Black, Gwyneth Paltrow, Tony Robbins, Jason Alexander

Release Date November 9th, 2001 

Published March 15th, 2002

The Farrelly Brothers have had an extremely hit and miss career, having created two of the best comedies of the last ten years, Kingpin and There's Something About Mary, and a couple of the worst, Dumb and Dumber, Say It Isn't So and Osmosis Jones. I'm glad to say that with their latest effort, Shallow Hal, starring Jack Black and Gwyneth Paltrow, the Farrelly's have a hit on their hands. The Hal of Shallow Hal is High Fidelity's wind up toy from hell Jack Black and he is back himself after the misfire of Saving Silverman.

Hal is an extremely self deluded jerk who believes that all that matters when it comes to women is physical beauty, neglecting the fact that he is no prize pig himself. Jason Alexander plays his best friend Mauricio who shares Hal's delusion to an even greater degree, Mauricio also has a few of those truly Farrelly Esqe physical features that payoff with big laughs. One day Hal gets locked in an elevator with self improvement guru Tony Robbins, in a surprisingly dexterous turn, who listens to Hal's life story and decides to help him by hypnotizing him into seeing people's inner beauty.

Then Hal meets Rosemary who he and we see as Gwyneth Paltrow but who is actually Gwyneth 300 hundred pounds heavier. This is where the film could have gone wrong. It could have gone very wrong with disgusting jokes at the expense of overweight people but the Farrelly's deftly turn it into an almost afterschool special like a lesson on not judging a book by its cover.

Don't get me wrong, the film is very funny and often raunchy, but the inner beauty message is laid on a little thick at times. Gwyneth Paltrow is amazingly sweet and beautiful even under 300 hundred pounds of makeup. She and Jack Black make a surprisingly fantastic pair with great chemistry and timing. Paltrow is a tad stiff with the Farrelly's brand of physical humor but she makes up for it with a go for the gusto laughter that is very endearing. 

The Farrelly Brothers, when they indulge in their sweet side as they did in both Kingpin and There's Something ABout Mary, and now in Shallow Hal, are quite good at introducing and taking care of sweet, vulnerable characters. It's the sweetness that rescues the often quite sour humor of The Farrelly Brothers whose raunchy jokes may not be for everybody but when they are delivered with earnest good nature, they can reach all audiences equally. 

Shallow Hal is the proof of concept that not all Farrelly Brothers characters have to be obnoxious or on all the time in order to draw out a laughter. The Farrelly's deploy romance like weapon and use it soften the blow from their more sophomoric style of humor. 

Movie Review Kate and Leopold

Kate & Leopold 

Directed by James Mangold 

Written by James Mangold, Steven Rogers

Starring Hugh Jackman, Meg Ryan, Liev Schreiber, Breckin Meyer, Natasha Lyonne, Bradley Whitford

Release Date December 25th, 2001 

Published January 24th, 2002 

There has been talk that romantic comedy is a dying genre. The plots and conventions of the genre have become too familiar and many filmgoers are growing more pessimistic about on-screen romance. Kate & Leopold may not be the film to breathe new life into this struggling genre but for what it is, a light little cookie of a film, it's not bad.

You know your watching a romantic comedy when Meg Ryan comes on screen wrinkling her cute button nose that screams, “Love me.” In this film she is the titular Kate, who is more concerned about getting ahead at her job in advertising than finding a meaningful relationship. Her last relationship was with a quirky scientist played by Liev Schreiber. Schreiber is trying to solve the puzzle of time travel so that he can travel through time to meet his great-great uncle Leopold (Hugh Jackman), an inventor who may hold the key to Liev's scientific writer’s block.

After accomplishing time travel he accidentally brings Leopold back to the future with him. From there Kate meets Leopold who she assumes is some method actor. Leopold is immediately drawn to Kate but she at first just thinks he's weird. There is something odd about him, he's chivalrous and well mannered and well spoken. Very unusual for the modern male, but then as we already know he's not modern at all.

The love story develops well and director James Mangold doesn't let the film’s gimmicky premise get in the way of Ryan and Jackman's wonderful chemistry. All great romantic comedies are based on the chemistry of the lead actors, as Ryan has shown with Tom Hanks and Billy Crystal previously.

In Kate & Leopold, Jackman shows himself a worthy replacement for Hanks. Jackman's best work is in his willingness to humiliate himself while holding on to his Victorian era dignity. Jackman becomes a star right in front of our eyes, breaking out of the action genre and proving he can do just about anything as an actor, as he would later demonstrate in a brilliant hosting gig on SNL.

Ryan is her natural cute self in Kate & Leopold, which isn't a bad thing. But there are moments where you can see she is beginning to tire of this kind of role. More than a couple times she looks outright bored by material that she has done more than a few times. Jackman and the very surprising comic turn by Schreiber save the film. He steals every scene he's in with a goofy energy we haven't seen from him before.

Kate & Leopold isn't anything you haven't seen before but as a Friday night rental to relax and watch with your girlfriend, it’s an enjoyable rent that will leave you smiling.