Movie Review: Sisu

Sisu (2023) 

Directed by Jalmair Helander 

Written by Jalmari Helander 

Starring Jorma Tommila, Aksel Hennie, Jack Doolan 

Release Date April 28th, 2023 

Published April 24th, 2023 

Sisu is a Finnish word that, essentially, means extraordinary determination in the face of extreme adversity. That is a strong descriptor for the main character of the movie, Sisu, a man referred to as The Immortal for his uncanny ability to survive any kind of attack. Indeed, the former Finnish commando, Aatami Korpi, played by Jorma Tommila, does appear to be immortal. The things that Korpi survives in Sisu threaten to turn the movie into a Monty Python-esque parody of what the human body is capable of surviving. 

That the film doesn't descend into parody likely comes from how satisfying it is to watch a man brutally destroy Nazis, seemingly the last group of people we collectively enjoy watching die horribly. Rarely will you hear someone try and say, can't we just let the Nazis be, and that's the way it should be, no quarter for Nazis. Depicting Nazis being brutally decimated should not only be protected, it should celebrated and shown to actual Nazis as a warning of what we collectively will do if they think about trying to come back. 

But I digress. Sisu is told over several chapters. Chapter 1 introduces Korpi as a man mourning the death of his wife and setting out into the world to seek his fortune. Chapter 2 quickly follows and shows Korpi striking it rich, finding a rich vein of gold that should set him up for life and beyond. But, that's only if he survives to get the gold to the Finnish capital where he can exchange it for his life changing fortune. This task is rendered impossible when Korpi is accosted by Nazis who are fleeing in the dying days of World War 2. 

It's 1944 and Finland has been convinced to come over to the side of the allies and banish the already fleeing Nazi army. Running away with their tale between their legs, the Nazis can't help but try to start something with an old man just trying to reach the next outpost. Korpi doesn't want trouble but the Nazis sure do and when they attack, they find out that the old man they believe they can bully and rob on their way of town is not the man to mess with. Indeed, Korpi brutally murders his attackers but in doing so, he catches the attention of a fleeing German convoy, one equally eager for a reason to fight. 

The convoy turns back to attack Korpi and a brutal and deadly game of cat and mouse ensues with Korpi somehow surviving multiple bullet wounds, losing his horse to a mine in a stomach-churning scene of violence, and a near drowning. He will survive even more than that as Sisu plays out its story but that's for you to discover when you Sisu. Korpi also gives as good as he gets as he inflicts deathly wounds on Nazis using any manner of bloody, bloody, violence. As I said earlier, it's incredibly satisfying seeing Nazis on the receiving end of this kind of brutality.

It certainly doesn't make up for the real life crimes of Nazis but since we are not currently murdering Nazis, there is a reasonable satisfaction in seeing figurative Nazis get slaughtered. If you're mad that I am saying this about NAZIs, you might want to have a long talk with yourself or maybe a therapist and consider why someone talking about the brutal, bloody, eviscerating of Nazis bothers you. Most people don't deserve this but Nazis do. Being a Nazi is not an ideology, it's not a debate, it's just wrong and should be met with that in mind. 

Find my complete review at Geeks.Media. 

Horror in the 90s Henry Portrait of a Serial Killer

Henry Portrait of a Serial Killer (1990) 

Directed by John McNaughton 

Written by Richard Fire, John McNaughton 

Starring Michael Rooker, Tracy Arnold, Tom Towles 

Release Date January 5th, 1990 

Henry Portrait of a Serial Killers opens on a perfect and horrifying bit of misdirection. With birds chirping in the background, it’s an idyllic setting, for a moment you settle into the film. You see the peaceful face of what you initially believe is a woman sleeping, perhaps about to wake up and begin her day. Then, director John McNaughton’s camera begins to reveal what is really happening here. 

The woman is not sleeping, indeed her eyes aren’t even closed, they are blackened, either from the mess made of her makeup or, perhaps a beating. Regardless, her eyes are open and lifeless. In reality, the camera was never still, it was always pulling back and always about to reveal that you are looking at a dead woman, fully nude, wounds to her abdomen fresh with blood. The camera tilts and a score sets in underneath, a droning but angelic chorus that ends in a harsh cut to a cigarette, harshly stubbed out in diner ashtray. 

The harshness of the cut and the symbolism of the cigarette, once carrying a fiery, intoxicating life before being snuffed out with a careless force hits you hard. We are barely two minutes into Henry Portrait of a Serial Killer, and that’s counting a credits sequence, that is just text on a black screen with a tense synth score. And yet, director John McNaughton has already set the tone. The plasticine perfection of nature in our imagination slowly melting to a horrifying and harsh reality. 

The movement from the mundane to the horrific is another hallmark of Henry Portrait of a Serial Killer. After that harsh cut from before establishes Henry in the diner, stubbing out his cigarette, we watch a mundane moment play out. The camera slowly pulls back to observe Henry pick up his bill, stand, put on his jacket, walk a few steps to the other side of the counter. He pays his bill and half heartedly flirts with his waitress. Then Henry walks to his car and climbs inside, giving us, ever so-briefly, a glimpse of his face. 

Then WHAM! Hard cut to a body lying face down on the counter of a liquor store, a bullet in her head. Look at the visuals, side by side of the diner waitress and the woman on the counter, they could be the same person. It’s as if the movie is showing us that no one is safe, Henry will kill whenever he feels like killing and whomever. We’re not even finished with the reveal however, as this time, there are two corpses, another lying on the floor, feet away from the first victim. 

We don’t need to see the killings, it’s quite clear from the editing, the progression of scene to scene, who is responsible for these grisly deaths. The sound design also progresses at this moment. I am imagining from the birds chirping and the silence of the opening moments, that the first victim was likely dumped in that location. I am inferring that because when the liquor store owners die, we see their corpses, but the sound design plays out the scene, we here the terror in the woman’s voice, we hear the shots fired that end their lives, and briefly Henry’s voice, telling the woman to shut-up. 

Cut to Henry, casually driving his car and idly listening to a rock n’roll radio station. Then, smash cut to bloody sheets in a hotel room. The droning bass of the score, a hellish drone. The camera slowly pans and the slow motion horror of this moment cannot be understated. The choice of weapon here catches you off guard. You don’t see it right away but as the camera slowly moves closer to the victim, the outline of a glass bottle protruding from her bloody mouth comes into focus as the source of the blood pouring down her neck to her chest. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media 

Horror in the 90s The First Power

The First Power (1990) 

Directed by Robert Resnikoff 

Written by Robert Resnikoff 

Starring Lou Diamond Phillips, Tracy Griffiths, Jeff Kober, Mykelti Williamson 

Release Date April 6th, 1990 

Box Office $22.4 million 

Right off the bat in The First Power, we are off to a bad start. The film begins on a massive info dump of exposition. A Nun, Sister Marguerite (Elizabeth Arlen), is speaking to a group of Priests, her church leadership, one can infer. She lays out the state of the universe. 15 people in Los Angeles have been murdered and their bodies have been mutilated with a symbol of the Devil, the pentagram. Sister Marguerite believes that this a sign, a symbol of, perhaps, the rise of Satan and the start of an apocalypse. The church leaders dismiss her concern and send her back to her convent. 

We know, by knowing the movie that we've chosen to watch, that this Nun is right, and the Devil is indeed inspiring this killer to kill. So, why dump exposition like this? Laziness? Clumsiness? A disrespect for audience intelligence? Yeah, probably. Making things infinitely more insulting however is how awful the acting is in this moment. Now, to be as fair as possible to Elizabeth Arlen, no actor, of any level of skill could deliver this kind of dialogue while emoting and trying to communicate a character and come off well. She was at a grave disadvantage. 

Why choose to start what is supposed to be an atmospheric chiller about a demon possessed serial killer like this? No music, neither the main character or the killer is on screen, and reams of exposition delivered by a main character to several non-characters. It doesn't tell us anything about the church, it tells us little about Sister Marguerite aside from how much her actor is struggling to fight through the scene. Writer-Director Robert Resnikoff has done a grave disservice to Ms. Arlen by placing the burden of starting the movie entirely on her when he has a movie star, Lou Diamond Phillips, at the ready. 

The scene immediately following the opening is WAY more intriguing and effective. Detective Logan (Lou Diamond Phillips) is looking over a map of recent killings. He has crime scene photos laid out, a visual indication of who he is and what he is doing. Logan gets a phone call from a mysterious woman whom we will learn, eventually, is a psychic named Tess Seaton (Tracy Griffith). She tells Logan that she knows where the killer is and will tell Logan if he promises not to kill him, and not to push for the death penalty when he captures him. Logan agrees and the two agree to meet. 

Who is this woman? How does she know what she knows? The crime scene photos tell us he's a killer, the phone conversation tells us he's dangerous and has a very specific M.O. Logan crosses lines on a map based on what the woman on the phone has said, the X's marking the map are places where bodies were found. Each can be connected with lines that come together to form a Pentagram. In less than 2 minutes of cryptic but intriguing visuals and dialogue, we've been brought into The First Power far more effectively that in the opening scene. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media 

Horror in the 90s Leatherface Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3

Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3 

Directed by Jeff Burr 

Written by David J. Schrow 

Starring Kate Hodge, William Butler, Ken Foree, Tom Hudson, R.A Mihailoff 

Release Date January 12th, 1990 

Box Office Gross $5.8 million dollars 

Bottom-feeding cash-ins are always pretty obvious about their intentions. That was certainly the case when a group of huckster con-artists looked to cash in on the legacy of the greatest horror movie ever made, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Studio execs like money and when they can seize the rights to an exploitable property, they eagerly gobble up the opportunity with little concern for the quality of the product they plan to capitalize on. With this as the background, was there any way for Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre to succeed? No, probably not. 

A very game and determined Kate Hodge stars in Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3 as Michelle, a student driving her dad's vintage car from California to Florida alongside her soon to be ex-boyfriend. William Butler is the soon-to-be ex of Michelle and he quickly makes a case for why they are no longer going to be together by being a whiny little prat. He can't understand why Michelle would want to leave him for a chance to travel the world. We understand it from just a few lines of whiny, man-baby dialogue from Ryan. 

The story of Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3 kicks in when the couple stops at a last chance gas station. The creeptastic gas station employee, begins to perv on Michelle, eventually spying on her in the ladies room. He's stopped by a transient, Edward 'Tex' Sawyer (Viggo Mortensen), who hopes that interceding will convince Michelle and Ryan to give him a ride. He ends up getting shot by the creepy gas station attendant while giving Michelle and Ryan a chance to escape. He appears benevolent but it's merely a ruse, he is, after all, a member of the Sawyer clan. 

Michelle and Ryan's escape is short-lived as they are soon chased down and menaced by what they assume is the gas station creep. They end up with a flat tire and try hiding on a side road. This side road however, leads them right to Leatherface (R.A Mihailoff) who attacks with his trusty chainsaw and his unnatural amount of physical strength which he demonstrates by ripping the top off of the car's trunk. Having made another narrow escape, Michelle and Ryan end up in another crash and, after colliding with Benny (Ken Foree), the trio end up in a life threatening game of cat and mouse with the horrific Sawyer family. 

The mercenary nature of Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3 is obvious in the dimwitted marketing campaign which focuses entirely on Leatherface's weapon of choice, a chainsaw. In this case, it's a custom made saw, silver plated and engraved with the film's tagline, 'The Saw is Family.' The movie was pitched with a comic teaser trailer in which the custom chainsaw is gifted to Leatherface King Arthur style, via a lady in a lake. You can almost hear the cash registers ringing in the hearts of heartless studio execs. 

Cynicism aside, for just a moment, I want to commend Kate Hodge and Ken Foree. These two terrific actors work very, very hard to bring something to this beyond the cash-in effort being put in everywhere else in the movie. Where the film's writers, director, and producers either don't know or don't care about the legacy of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Hodge and Foree are giving great performances. While the rest of the film appears dedicated to sullying the memory of the original, these two performance darn near redeem the misconceived enterprise that is Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3. 

Hampered by a script that adds unnecessary aspects to the Sawyer legacy, Hodge delivers a gritty, hard as nails final girl performance while the horror veteran Foree is so good as Benny that the character is allowed to survive wounds that were absolutely intended as his death blow. Benny survived only because test audiences loved Benny and hated seeing him go. That's yet another testament to the mercenary quality of Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3. But, it's also a credit to Foree whose performance is so good, you may not mind the ludicrous nature of his miraculous survival. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media 

Horror in the 90s: Brain Dead

Brain Dead (1990) 

Directed by Adam Simon 

Written by Adam Simon, Charles Beaumont 

Starring Bill Pullman, Bill Paxton, George Kennedy, Bud Cort, Patricia Charbonneau 

Release Date January 19th, 1990 

Box Office Gross $1.6 million dollars 

One image. Brain Dead is remembered for one, singular image. The fact that this one image has nothing to do with the movie that contains it, does not matter. There is only one thing that anyone remembers about Brain Dead and it is just one memorable, awful, brutal image. You see it in all of the marketing materials about the movie when it was released. To those who've never seen Brain Dead, this image is the star of the film. It's a very compelling image, one worthy of building a bizarre cult movie marketing campaign around. 

In a college science lab there is an unnamed student toying with a human brain. The student shoves an electrode into the ooey gooey brain situated in a petri dish. The brain is connected to something, a metal apparatus. Upon this apparatus is a complete abomination. Stretched like horrifying silly putty across an empty expanse, connecting to a circular metal apparatus is a human face. This face has eyes, a nose, and a mouth. It seems to have facial muscles somehow, hidden behind a weathered expanse of skin. 

The facial muscles are implied in the film by the way the face twitches in pain when the brain in the pan is electrocuted back to life. Depending on where the student stabs his electrode into this brain in a pan, the face twitches its eyes, wrinkles its nose, or turns the mouth in a pained expression, a wince. From the manner in which the student playfully stabs away at this brain, this is a normal day in the lab. We don't know how long the student and the face have been in this dynamic, but it is not the first time this student has engaged in this twisted game. 

You would be forgiven if you thought that this detached face were that of a main character, that of Bill Pullman, or Bill Paxton, or Bud Cort. It's not. In fact, we have no idea where this face came from or how this face ended up attached to a brain in a pan being painfully stimulated by electrodes. We get only a vague sense of why this is even being done. It's being done to prove that the human brain is capable of being stimulated after death. 

That's part of the crazed, doomed experiments being conducted by Bill Pullman's monstrous, genius brain scientist. Dr. Rex Martin believes he can cure all manner of neurological disorders by using the brains of the dead as guinea pigs. Dr. Martin's particular specialty is paranoia and he is convinced he can cure paranoia via brain surgery. This brings his research in line with the awful, amoral aims of Bill Paxton's corporate shark. Paxton wants Pullman to cure the paranoia of a genius mathematician, Bud Cort, so that said genius will reveal an equation that could be worth billions. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media 

Movie Review What's Love Got to Do With It

What's Love Got to Do With It (2023) 

Directed by Shekhar Kapur 

Written by Jemima Khan 

Starring Lily James, Shazad Latif, Emma Thompson, Sajal Aly 

Release Date May 5th, 2023

Published May 4th, 2023 

What's Love Got to Do With It has some hard work to do to overcome a rote, predictable outcome. The film follows a documentary filmmaker, played by Lily Collins whose new documentary is about her Pakistani friend, played by Shazad Latif, going through the motions of an arranged marriage. She's supposed to document his marriage to a stranger arranged by a matchmaker but since this is a movie and both Collins and Latif are young and attractive, we know that the movie is arranging for them to be married. 

Knowing that, the movie needs to find a way to be charming while also being insanely predictable. The film has an uphill battle to try and build tension into a movie story that has no tension whatsoever. It can be done, most romantic comedies are built on a highly predictable conceit. The key to a modern rom-com is scribbling in the margins, creating laughs and charm amid the highly predictable machinations of a pre-destined ending. 

Zoe (Collins) doesn't believe in love. She's not a romantic, she's a pragmatist. When she tells fairy tales to her best friends daughters, her cracked fairy tales invariably find the female protagonist rejecting the Prince in favor of independence and adventure. Her retelling of The Princess and the Frog has the hero failing to kiss the frog, preferring to take her new talking frog on the road to show off for audiences. Hey, how cool would it be to have a talking frog, right? 

Zoe's conceptions of love and marriage are put to the test when her long time neighbor and friend, Kaz Khan tells her that he's agreed to see a matchmaker for an arranged marriage to a Pakistani woman, one approved of by his mother. His choice is fraught with backstory, Kaz's sister has been cast out of the family after she married a white man and had a child. Kaz's desire to be a good son to his traditional mother and grandmother drives his actions but it's clear his heart is not in this idea. 

Zoe is compelled to capture the wedding process on film after she finds out that her latest documentary idea, something dreary about war or famine or some such thing, has been rejected for being too bleak. Needing a pitch in a pinch, she pitches Kaz's arranged marriage process as a documentary and receives a greenlight from her producers. Getting Kaz's green light however, is a little harder, he's not exactly thrilled about this idea. He reluctantly agrees and the documentary becomes the bomb under the table, that McGuffin that threatens the status quo of Kaz's plans for his arranged marriage. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Horror in the 90s Tales from the Darkside

Tales from the Darkside: The Movie (1990) 

Directed by John Harrison

Written by Michael McDowell, George A. Romero 

Starring Debbie Harry, Steve Buscemi, Julianne Moore, Christian Slater, James Remar, Rae Dawn Chong

Release Date May 4th, 1990 

Box Office Gross $16.3 million

Why don't more people talk about how great Tales from the Darkside The Movie is? I've seen Tales from the Darkside The Movie a few times but somehow, it wasn't until this viewing that it really clicked for me. This anthology of three horror movies, and one wraparound segment, combines the talents of Stephen King, George Romero and a powerhouse cast, across four stories, to deliver one of the most consistently entertaining horror movies of the 1990s. 

Let's begin with our wrap-around story. Tales from the Darkside: The Movie opens on a peaceful suburban milieu. A lovely looking woman has purchased groceries and is returning home to start dinner for a dinner party. This is classic horror movie stuff as perverting the pristine perfection of suburban life is a classic trope. The first signs of such perversions of norms only arrives once we are inside the home of that plain Jane woman and her groceries. 

We arrive in the home of Betty, played by rock icon Debbie Harry, before she does. While she's getting her groceries, the camera takes us into her home and a strange looking broom is propped against a wall. While we puzzle over the broom, which brings to mind a witches broom, we begin to hear a noise. The camera slowly reveals a door in the kitchen and someone struggling to open the door before fearfully retreating when Betty comes inside. The skillful visual filmmaking tells us everything we need to know, Betty is a witch and whoever is in that locked pantry, is her prisoner. 

Perverting things even further, Betty soon reveals her victim, tiny moppet with floppy hair and a crooked grin. This is Timmy (Matthew Lawrence) and we soon learn that Timmy is set to be that night's main course as Betty is bringing her witch friends over for a Timmy casserole. In a desperate attempt to keep himself alive, Timmy grabs a story book called Tales from the Darkside and offers to tell Betty a scary story as a reason to keep him alive. She agrees and we proceed with our first terrific story. 

The most star-studded of our three stories was not quite so star-studded at the time of release. Lot 249 stars a pair of stars before they became big stars. Steve Buscemi and Julianne Moore were at the beginning of what would be lengthy and critically acclaimed careers when they played academic rivals in Lot 249, the story of a man and his mummy. Christian Slater, already having become a leading man by 1990, is the best known of the cast which is rounded out by lesser known character actor Robert Sedgwick. 

Lot 249 is a tale of revenge as Edward Bellingham (Buscemi) is convinced that a rich idiot, Lee (Robert Sedgwick), has used his influence, and his equally rich and duplicitous girlfriend, Susan (Moore), to steal a lucrative scholarship from him. The loss may force Bellingham to have to leave school just as he is on the verge of an astonishing breakthrough in his research on ancient Egypt. Through nefarious circumstance, Bellingham has secured Lot 249, an ancient Egyptian sarcophagus that could be worth millions, depending on what he finds inside. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media