Horror in the 90s Meet the Applegates

Meet the Applegates (1991) 

Directed by Michael Lehmann 

Written by Michael Lehmann, Redbeard Simmons 

Starring Ed Begley Jr, Stockard Channing, Dabney Coleman

Release Date February 1st, 1991 

Box Office $485,000 

Writer-Director Michael Lehmann is to be respected for his... big choices. After making a splashy debut with Heathers, now beloved cult classic, Lehmann continued taking big risks. He made Hudson Hawk and allowed star Bruce Willis to walk all over him while no one could agree on what the movie should be. Lehmann's Hudson Hawk experience led him down a path to directing some of the most conventional yet memorable comedies of the late 90s, movies like Airheads and The Truth About Cats and Dogs. It's clear that Hudson Hawk chased the weird out of Michael Lehmann. 

My thesis statement for that observation is Lehmann's other pre-Hudson Hawk endeavor. While Heathers is remembered for its wild dark humor and unexpected levels of deathly violence, Lehmann took things a step further and a step stranger in 1991's Meet the Applegates. Despite having a cast led by three veteran actors of remarkable reputation, Ed Begley Jr., Stockard Channing, and Dabney Coleman, Meet the Applegates is one of the most bizarre, awkward, and peculiar movies ever made. 

In the jungles of South America, a remarkably racist and bleakly comic scene unfolds. Missionaries are teaching a collection of horrifying stereotypes about what America is like. The lesson tells the story of a family of four, parents Dick and Jane and their kids, Sally and Johnny. These four people, who don't exist, are the ideal 'nuclear family.' Just as the missionaries are completing their lesson, a construction crew breaks through and begins clearing the jungle. They are tearing down the rainforest and strip mining the place. 

In this process however, the construction crew unleashes a dormant type bug with... unique powers. These bugs, the Brazilian Cocorada, use chameleon-like powers to impersonate other species. In this case, the species they choose is human. Finding the book about the perfect nuclear family, four of the bugs take on the personas of Dick (Ed Begley Jr.), Jane (Stockard Channing), Sally (Camille Cooper) and Johnny (Robert Jayne). Using these human shells, the bugs move to the suburbs with a plan to destroy America in revenge for the destruction of the rainforest. 

This is all inferred on my part. The film quite jarringly shows the bugs murdering the missionaries and then credits. Then we are in the suburbs and a few visual clues tell us that these are the bugs in human form. Their mission becomes clear only after an expository conversation with Aunt Bea (Dabney Coleman). Aunt Bea is also a bug in disguise and he/she acts as the handler for the Applegates, giving them their mission and helping them to carry it out. Dabney Coleman in a dress is a haunting visual that should be funny but never is. 

Read my full length review at Horror.Media

Movie Review The Creator

The Creator (2023) 

Directed by Gareth Edwards 

Written by Gareth Edwards, Chris Weitz 

Starring John David Washington, Gemma Chan, Ken Watanabe, Sturgill Simpson, Allison Janney 

Release Date September 29th, 2023 

Published October 2nd, 2023 

The Creator stars John David Washington as Joshua Taylor. Make note of that biblical name, it means something. Joshua is a double agent of the future. In this future world, A.I was built to make life easier for Americans. That worked until the A.I got too real and decided to nuke Los Angeles. Some time after that, America has banned A.I and is at war with New Asia, a country that has become a haven for A.I living in among the human population as equals. Joshua is a spy who was tasked with getting close to Maya (Gemma Chan), who is believed to be the daughter of the Nirmata, the A.I creator. 

Nirmata, we are told, has been working on a weapon that could turn the tide of the war between America and New Asia. This new A.I weapon is evolving quickly and will carry the ability to destroy non-A.I technology, like that used by the U.S military. Joshua's assignment works better than expected as not only does he get close to Maya, the two fall in love and Maya gets pregnant. That's when things hit the fan as the Americans decide to attack without warning Joshua first. In the attack, it appears that Maya and the rest of Joshua's band of A.I brothers, are killed. 

Returning to America, Joshua takes a crappy job and appears ready to spend the rest of his life guiltily drinking himself to death. That's when he's approached by General Andrews (Ralph Ineson) and Colonel Howell (Allison Janney). They have proof that Maya is still alive and they want Joshua to go to New Asia on a mission to reconnect with her and by extension, get close to the new A.I weapon so that it can be destroyed before it evolves to destroy the American military. That's the plan anyway, these things in movies tend to fall apart and fall apart they do. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Classic Movie Review The Wizard of Oz

The Wizard of Oz (1939) 

Directed by Victor Fleming 

Written by Noel Langley, Florence Ryerson, Edgar Allen Woolf 

Starring Judy Garland, Frank Morgan, Ray Bolger, Burt Lahr, Jack Haley 

Release Date August 25th 1939 

Published September 25th, 2023 

The Wizard of Oz is a rich template for movie makers past and present. It's a movie that created a dynamic that became the model for thousands of movies that followed it. Movies that you would never assume have a connection to The Wizard of Oz are in many unique ways connected back to Victor Fleming's wildly imaginative, influential and generationally beloved adventure. In 2022, an entire documentary was released that charted the many ways David Lynch movies were influenced by Lynch's unending fascination with The Wizard of Oz. That's how wildly influential and groundbreaking The Wizard of Oz was and is more than 80 years later. 

Dorothy Gale (Judy Garland) is a sheltered child living in Kansas on a farm that seems days away from any neighbor or civilized area. It's close enough for her to attend school and for her to cross paths with a vile neighbor named Almira Gulch (Margaret Hamilton). Ms. Gulch claims that Dorothy's beloved Dog Toto chased her cat and bit her. She has talked to the local sheriff and intends to take Toto to be euthanized. Toto manages to escape and return to Dorothy and the two make a run for it, running away from the only life Dorothy has ever known. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media

Movie Review It Lives Inside

It Lives Inside (2023) 

Directed by Bishal Dutta 

Written by Bishal Dutta 

Starring Megan Suri, Neeru Bajwa, Vik Sahay, Betty Gabriel 

Release Date September 22nd, 2023 

Published September 26th, 2023 

It Lives Inside is a mostly effective horror movie with the twist of being set in a Hindu legend. The Pishacha is a demonic spirit that forms around a drunkard, liar, adulterer or a person who dies while insane. The Pishacha of It Lives Inside uses this as a jumping off point for a monster movie about a giant nasty ghost bug thing that eats souls. So, it doesn't fully take on the actual Hindu legend, per se, but it uses it as a firm base from which to jump into a creepy monster movie with a subtext about growing up feeling like an outsider and the stress of trying to live in two different worlds. 

It Lives Inside stars Megan Suri as Sam, or Samhida. She prefers Sam as this is the name that her school friends have begun using now that she's becoming more assimilated into her mostly white school. The only person at school who still calls her Samidha is Tamira (Mohana Krishnan), her long ago closest friend. Sam and Tamira grew up together but grew apart as Sam sought further acceptance into their neighborhood and school. Tamira meanwhile, in her loneliness began looking into the death of another Indian family in their neighborhood. 

This leads to Tamira discovering a glass jar that she claims is speaking to her. She's become a fearsome and spectral creature at school, quietly walking the halls carrying this dirty looking jar and refusing to put it down. When Tamira finally approaches Sam looking for help, Sam grows frustrated and in her haste, she breaks the jar. Sam was unaware that the jar contained a demon, a Pishacha, which subsequently captures Tamira and then sets about haunting Sam as it seeks its next soul to devour. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media 

Horror in the 90s Warlock

Warlock (1991) 

Directed by Steve Miner 

Written by David Twohy 

Starring Julian Sands, Lori Singer, Richard E. Grant 

Release Date January 11th, 1991 

Box Office $15 million dollars 

Warlock is a completely hilarious disaster. Though it stars respected English actors, Julian Sands and Richard E. Grant, it's an embarrassment to both men's legacies. It's a black mark on their CV's for sure and I feel unkind in even bringing it up in the wake of Julian Sands' tragic passing. But, sadly, as we start a new year of Horror in the 90s, winding out 1990 into 1991, we are confronted with Warlock as the next major horror movie release. Never mind that the movie was actually made in 1989, the release date and its subsequent reputation as both a disaster and somehow a franchise, begins in 1991. 

Warlock stars Julian Sands as the title character, Warlock. Here we must pause to examine the first thing we see in Warlock. A man is building a cage into which cats will be placed. These cats are then taken to the gallows where they are stacked on top of kindling. The ritual is being undertaken for the execution of the Warlock. The cats are being burned alive along with the witch because... witches like cats? Cats and witches do have a long-standing association though where director Steve Miner got the notion that cats were burned with witches they weren't directly associated with; I have no idea. 

Anyway, before he can be executed by fire with cats, Warlock talks to Satan and is tornadoed into the future. The movie literally shows a wispy cartoon tornado engulf Julian Sands and sweep him out of the room. It's the first of several unintentionally funny special effects in this epic bad movie. For reasons never explained, Satan tosses the Warlock into the future world via a farty tornado and tosses him through the window of a suburban California home. Here, the world's most chill roommates, Lori Singer's Kassandra and Kevin O'Brien as Chas, react to having a human being crash through the window of their home the way you or I might react to spilling our drink. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media 

Movie Review Saw X

Saw X (2023) 

Directed by Kevin Greutert 

Written by Peter Goldfinger, Josh Stolerg

Starring Tobin Bell, Shawnee Smith, Synnove Macody Lund, Steven Brand

Release Date September 29th, 2023 

Published September 29th, 2023 

I'm a huge fan of the Saw horror franchise. I find the underlying philosophy fascinating and challenging. At once, I don't want to see anyone harmed and I am fascinated by the harm Jigsaw creates for his subjects who must endure ungodly pain in order to survive and find redemption. It's like an extreme form of self flagellation with the intent of seeing what the body and mind can endure to survive. Pushing the limits of the human body to their absolute breaking point is something many people talk about as being the most alive one can feel. Jigsaw makes that happen for people with the difference being that they don't get to choose not to do this. 

That's a big and important difference. Jigsaw's victims aren't choosing to challenge themselves, they are forced into this challenge. Now, they end up being challenged because of their own actions, Jigsaw doesn't harm the innocent, only those who have wronged others or who fail to value their own life. But it's still an important point that he is forcing the issue, these people had no intention of seeing the limits they would go to to save their own life. With that acknowledgment out of the way, let's talk about what Jigsaw does as a form of redemption and self-actualization. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media 

Movie Review The Expendables 4

The Expendables 4 (2023) 

Directed by Scott Waugh 

Written by Kurt Wimmer, Max Adams, Tad Daggerhart

Starring Jason Statham, Sylvester Stallone, Megan Fox, 50 Cent, Dolph Lundgren, Tony Jaa, Iko Uwais 

Release Date September 22nd, 2023 

Published September 26th, 2023 

It speaks volumes without saying a word that before the end of the first act, Sylvester Stallone has left The Expendables 4. Stallone's character may or may not have been killed on a raid on terrorists in Libya. So, even the stars of Expendables 4 don't want to be in Expendables 4 if they don't have to be. The Expendables 4 is an utter shambles, a complete embarrassment for everyone involved. It's a lazy boomer fantasy of middle aged tough guys who use their unique set of skills to kill a mass number of lackeys who seem to form out of thin air only to be brutally murdered as quick as they appear. 

The story of The Expendables 4, such as it is, finds our heroes Barney (Sylvester Stallone) and Christmas (Jason Statham), tracking down a terrorist that has long eluded them both. Rahmat (Iko Uwais) is dangerous on his own and has a history with Christmas. Now, however, Rahmat is working with an international terrorist whom Barney has been looking for since the 80s. With Rahmat in Libya getting detonators for a nuclear bomb, the Expendables team, including Toll Road (Randy Couture), Gunnar (Dolph Lundgren), and newcomers Easy Day (50 Cent) and Galan (Jacob Scipio), head into battle. 

The mission is a disaster, the detonators get away and Christmas is fired. What happens to Barney is a spoiler. Regardless, the Expendables team leadership falls to Gina (Megan Fox). It will be her mission now to try and find where Rahmat is taking the nuclear detonators and to stop him from using them to star World War 3. Naturally, Gina happens to be Christmas' ex-girlfriend. And just as predictably, the two have angry fight sex before he hatches a plan to follow her on her mission. Recruiting the help of a former Expendable, Decha (Tony Jaa). 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media