Movie Review Showdown at the Grand

Showdown at the Grand (2023) 

Directed by Orson Oblowitz 

Written by Orson Oblowitz 

Starring Terrence Howard, John Savage, Amanda Righetti, Dolph Lundgren, Piper Curda 

Release Date November 10th, 2023 

Published ? 

An evil developer threatens a beloved old movie palace in the new action thriller, Showdown at the Grand. It's an old trope and it's perfectly fitting for this old school B-Movie. Written and directed by Orson Oblowitz, Showdown at the Grand celebrates classic B-Movies while embodying all of the things we love about classic B-Movies. It's a wonderfully meta-action flick with a big beating heart and deep love for the kind of drive-in classics that made cult heroes of Roger Corman, Russ, and stars like Ken Foree and Shannon Tweed. 

Showdown at the Grand stars Terrence Howard as George Fuller, the solo proprietor of the Warner Grand Theater, a southwestern staple of B-movie presentations. Fuller has grown up at the Grand, inheriting the business from his father who sank the family's entire fortune into rescuing the Grand after George's uncle nearly ran it into the ground. Now, George is facing a reckoning of his own. A wealthy and duplicitous developer named Lynn (Amanda Righetti), is buying up properties around the Grand but she needs the land where the grand stands to complete her development. 

Aiding Lynn in her hostile takeover of the area are a pair of thugs, Reed (Mike Ferguson) and Burton (Jon Sklaroff). Burton, though he is purely malevolent, happens to be a fan of the Grand, matching George movie quote for movie quote during their multiple encounters. That won't stop Burton from trying to kill George and destroy the Grand. Standing alongside George and the Grand are his longtime best friend, Lucky (John Savage) and George's only employee Spike (Piper Curda). 

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Documentary Review Holy Frit

Holy Frit (2023) 

Directed by Justin S. Monroe 

Written by Justin S. Monroe, Ryan M. Fritsche, Gillian Fritsche 

Starring Tim Carey, Narcissus Quagliata 

Release Date November 10th in Los Angeles, California 

Published October 28th, 2023 

"In your gut, how think the window is going to turn out?" the director asks artist Tim Cary. Cary responds "I don't really trust my gut about anything." And that's the arc of Tim Cary in Holy Frit, a man who will have to learn to trust his gut and make gut wrenching decisions about his art, his massive multi-million dollar stained glass piece, and the future of his career and family. None of these decisions has an obvious answer and Tim is going to be forced to trust his choices are right without knowing what the outcome will be, trusting the gut, the instinct, as he's not done before. 

What is Frit? That is probably the first question anyone would ask, based on the title of the documentary, but it's not that special, in and of itself and the answer is passed on to us in passing. Frit is very small pieces of broken glass. Frit is the innovation of an artist named Narcissus Quagliata, a larger than life personality who innovated in the world of glass art in a way that no one had before. I can't tell you exactly how Frit works, but when dusted onto other forms of stained glass, it creates a remarkably colorful design, unlike anything you've seen before. 

The fact that Tim Cary had never worked with Frit before when he pitched his employer, Judson Stained Glass, as the company to create a 4000 square foot stained glass window for a Kansas City Mega church is just one absurd fact about how this massive stained glass work of art came to be. Judson didn't have the technique, the staff, or the space to do a project as massive as a 4000 square foot stained glass window. Oh, and the design that Tim Cary pitched to the church, is the kind of design that, at the moment he pitched it, didn't appear to be possible. 

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Classic Movie Review After Hours

After Hours (1985) 

Directed by Martin Scorsese 

Written by Joseph Minion 

Starring Griffin Dunne, Rosanna Arquette, Teri Garr, Cheech and Chong 

Release Date September 13th, 1985

Published 

The tracking shot that opens Martin Scorsese's black comedy, After Hours, is relatively meaningless. It's just a neat visual way to end up with the camera pointing to our protagonist, Paul Hackett. This is a valid cinematic choice, no criticism there. That said, as a student of opening scenes, I am a little bummed out. In my last exploration of a Scorsese classic, The Age of Innocence, Scorsese's camera opened on flowers under the credits and in the opening moment, a flower given from a performer on stage to another. The flower imagery in The Age of Innocence was the underlying theme of the movie. 

Perhaps, the vacuousness of the tracking shot in After Hours is a reflection of Paul's own vacuousness. Under the credits, we're hearing Mozart's Symphony in D Major No. 45. The symphony has little to do with the story either but it is beautiful and Paul is a handsome guy so, if I am going to read too much into every second of After Hours, perhaps these two surface level observations combined with the meaningless tracking shot crashing on Paul's face, is all to add up to how empty the character of Paul is and how his descent into a world of madness will only underline how Paul prefers being an empty vessel of capitalist exploitation to the alternative of actually living a life, as messy and problematic as that can be. 

As Paul Hackett's (Griffin Dunne) co-worker, played in a brief cameo by Bronson Pinchot, prattles on about how he doesn't plan on doing this job that Paul is teaching him in this scene, Paul is struck by the co-worker's words. He stops listening almost immediately, this man having a plan and goals in life, has Paul searching the world around him for a meaning. As the co-worker goes on about getting into publishing, Paul's eyes fall on everyday office stuff before finally landing briefly on a shot of a birthday calendar, and a picture of a child on a co-worker's desk. The story of a person with a family, a life away from work, is what jars Paul back to reality and the reality that his new co-worker doesn't realize he's hurt Paul's feelings a little, just enough to make him not pay attention before awkwardly excusing himself. 

The deck is beginning to stack. The conversation with Paul's co-worker is underlying a theme that will become clear, Paul doesn't have a life outside of work. He has no family, no girlfriend, he doesn't even seem to have friends, or, at least, he doesn't make it plain that he has anyone he can call on a Friday night. As Paul leaves work, he's just another lonely face in the crowd, so insignificant that the gates closing his office nearly close on him, and he narrowly slips through as men are closing them. All the while, another, more melancholic classical music piece plays on the soundtrack. The giant golden gate doors close, and Paul is made smaller by their massive size in a striking visual. 

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Movie Review Killers of the Flower Moon

Killers of the Flower Moon (2023) 

Directed by Martin Scorsese 

Written by Martin Scorsese, Eric Roth

Starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Lily Gladstone, Robert De Niro

Release Date October 20th, 2023

Published October 20th, 2023 

To say that Martin Scorsese is a master of the cinematic form is an understatement. The man has directed epic master works; some of the most iconic works of cinema in last 50 years. He's the Pope of Hollywood, the director that other directors look to for guidance and inspiration. As years pass, Scorsese's mastery of form only seems to grow and gain depth. With age has come patience and maturity that has taken his work from some of the most gut-wrenching and visceral to some of the most thoughtful, elegant, and instructive films ever made. It's an evolution but not a particularly overt one. Scorsese is no longer a Hollywood rebel eager to shake up the world with his cynical vision of urban violence and gritty inter-personal connections. In place of rebellion, Scorsese has embraced his place as one of Hollywood's foremost thinkers, a conscei

For his latest film, Martin Scorsese is not taking it easy but his restraint, patience, and graceful, thoughtful direction is on full display. Taking on the case that provided the foundation of the modern FBI, Scorsese takes us to the heart of Osage Country in Oklahoma. Here, a group of Native Americans happened to strike oil and as the money flowed, the Osage thrived. Then came a group of leeches, con artists and hardened criminals with a taste for both blood and money. As much as racism has a major part to play in what came next, greed is also at the rotting, curdled core of what happened to the Osage people. 

We open on a ceremony. A group of Native Americans are in a tent and delivering exposition in a rather unique way. Via this ceremony, we are drawn into the time period, just after the discovery of oil rich land and just before murderers, thieves, and parasites came looking to rob the Osage people of their newfound wealth. In this ceremony, the elders share a peace pipe that they are laying to rest, it's taught them all it can teach and it is to be symbolically buried. This is at once a warning of the violence that is coming as well as a symbol of the end of the old ways and the birth of a new, unpredictable and reasonably frightening new way of life. 

It's a brilliant opening and it sets the stage for everything that we will see going forward in Killers of the Flower Moon. From there we leap ahead to a train where a man is coming home from the first world war. Ernest (Leonardo DiCaprio), could not possibly have a more appropriate name. With his lack of education and naïve willingness to take things at face value, Ernest is earnestness personified. Ernest has come to the Osage country on the invitation of his Uncle Bill (Robert De Niro, though he know him as King. Ernest's Uncle welcomes him with open arms and immediately sets about manipulating the simple young man in the ways of his con. 

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Movie Review Kill Room

The Kill Room (2023) 

Directed by Nicol Paone 

Written by Jonathan Jacobson 

Starring Uma Thurman, Maya Hawke, Samuel L. Jackson, Joe Manganiello 

Release Date November 3rd, 2023

Published October 30th, 2023

The Kill Room stars Uma Thurman as a New York City art gallery owner who has fallen very hard times. Thurman's Patrice has fallen behind and the fast paced world of art patronage and is beginning to lose her roster of artists. Desperate for a way to buy back her credibility and place in the hierarchy of the art world, Patrice decides that money laundering doesn't seem like such a bad idea. Having recently been approached by a man named Gordon Davis (Samuel L. Jackson) regarding just such a scheme, Patrice decides to take Gordon up on his offer to pump new cash into the gallery. 

The scheme works like such, Gordon will bring in a painting, Patrice will take the painting, run it through her database, price it and sell it to someone that Gordon is doing business with. Gordon's business involves having a hitman named Reggie (Joe Manganiello) choke out men who are marked for death by local Russian mobsters, something that Patrice is unaware of. She assumes Gordon is a drug dealer and thus doesn't feel bad about taking his dirty money. With Patrice's gallery giving Gordon's money a faux legitimacy, the cover up of payments for murders goes swimmingly. 

Then, Patrice actually gets a painting and things start to take a turn. With Patrice having obviously agreed to sell a painting for the sum of $300,000, her assistant, Leslie (Amy Keum), cannot resist telling the art world about the first time artist whose work is selling for hundreds of thousands of dollars. The artist happens to be Reggie, the murderer for hire, and though his paintings aren't great, he does have a soulful and revealing aspect to his approach to sculpture. To appease the apprehension of the art world, Patrice gives Reggie the moniker 'The Bagman' and tells reporters and patrons that he's incredibly private about his work. 

It turns out that Reggie actually doesn't want to be a killer. He was dragged into the world of so called 'wet work' by an obligation to his drug addict sister. In reality, Reggie is a thoughtful, soulful and sad guy with the soul of a real artist. His art just happens to involve throwing a plastic bag over the heads of bad guys and wrestling them until they stop moving and die. Naturally, Patrice will figure out who she's really dealing with and though you might expect a romance plot to unfold between Reggie and Patrice, The Kill Room sidesteps inter-personal politics by remaining firmly in the world of mocking the trade of art and how easy art patrons can be manipulated by buzz and the notion of scarcity. 

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Movie Review Five Nights at Freddy's

Five Nights at Freddy's (2023) 

Directed by Emma Tammi 

Written by Scott Cawthon, Seth Cuddeback, Tyler MacIntyre 

Starring Josh Hutcherson, Elizabeth Lail, Mary Stuart Masterson, Matthew Lillard 

Release Date October 27th, 2023 

Published October 27th, 2023 

Writing about a movie like Five Nights at Freddy's is a thankless task. This is not a movie that gives a critic much to talk about. Movies this witless and needless are more of a tax on your time and energy than anything else. Five Nights at Freddy's is what is called, in industry-speak, an I.P play. That means that it is a well known intellectual property that studio marketers are confident that they can cash in on, regardless of whether the movie is any good. I.P plays are the 'content' that director Martin Scorsese was railing against when everyone accused him of hating Marvel movies. Scorsese doesn't care about Marvel movies, he cares about the result of such movies, I.P plays that take up theater space and waste the critical thinking and mental energy of filmgoers. 

The makers of Five Nights at Freddy's aren't so much make a work of art as they are designing a commercial product intended to sell tickets and shift merchandise. Instead of having a script and a visual design aesthetic, a movie like Five Nights at Freddy's has a spreadsheet that details the market testing that helps set goals for how many tickets sold, how many plush toys, blankets and video games sold, and somewhere on a back page, the money paid to people who've been hired to manufacture the final product movie, itself a product that is intended to be packaged and sold as a digital download, some time in the very near future. 

Five Nights at Freddy's isn't a movie that was written or directed, rather it is crafted by carpenters who hammer the product into something that resembles a movie but is more of an advertisement for selling tickets to what looks like a movie. The real hope is that you will buy a ticket and a t-shirt, a collector cup and a plush. And, of course, the video game which I am sure will shift a few units due to being made relevant again by a marketing campaign. As someone who loves movies and loves writing about movies, a movie like Five Nights at Freddy's is especially dispiriting. There was never any intention to make a good movie here, there was only ever a marketing campaign and merch. 

Hunger Games star Josh Hutcherson, who has apparently squandered his Hunger Games paychecks, how else does he end up here, stars in Five Nights at Freddy's as Mike, a depressed and deeply unlikable character. Mike is depressed for a reason, he feels that it was his fault that his younger brother, Garrett, was kidnapped when they were kids. Since then, Mike has made it his mission to try and recall the man who took his brother. This obsession has cost Mike jobs because either he's sleeping through work or he's angrily attacking people. 

Having been fired from his most recent job as a Mall security guard, Mike is forced to accept the only job made available to him, security guard in a dilapidated restaurant, a former kid friendly pizza place called Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. All Mike has to do is stay awake and watch some monitors, make sure no one breaks in. Why does a restaurant that has not been open in over a decade need a security guard? Who cares, the movie sure doesn't care. So, why should we care, right? It's just another extraneous detail in a movie that doesn't care about details or anything other than just existing and vaguely resembling a horror movie. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media 

Horror in the 90s Nothing But Trouble

Nothing But Trouble (1991) 

Directed by Dan Akroyd 

Written by Dan Akroyd 

Starring Chevy Chase, Demi Moore, Dan Akroyd, John Candy 

Release Date February 15th, 1991 

Box Office $8.4 million dollars 

Why does Dan Akroyd's elderly villain in Nothing But Trouble have the top of a penis for a nose? Why would this be funny? Is it intended to funny? Is it intended to be disturbing? It's certainly confusing. It achieves a high level of confusing. For the life of me, no matter how often I turn this idea over in my mind, I cannot understand the choice of having Akroyd's elderly villain creep have the tip of a penis for a nose. I imagine you reading this and kind of laughing to yourself as the absurdity of the idea of a penis tip for a nose. You're not wrong to laugh, it is absurd and funny but not in the way Dan Akroyd thinks its funny. 

And that is the deeply unfunny heart of 1991's Nothing But Trouble, it's often something you may laugh at but not for the reasons that director Dan Akroyd assumes you will laugh. For Akroyd, the presentation of something is enough to call it a joke. For instance, his penis tip nose or the sight of John Candy in a dress playing his own sister. These visuals are presented to us as if we are supposed to laugh at them, but they aren't actually doing anything funny, either visually or otherwise and thus we are left confused at the choice to show us these things. 

Another thing that writer-director Dan Akroyd thinks is funny but most assuredly is not, is Akroyd's pal, Chevy Chase at his most smug and exhausting. Akroyd has bought into Chase's delusion that just being smug engenders being charming and funny. Chase never says a single funny line in Nothing But Trouble but he's presented by Akroyd as the height of charming. Chase however, is merely arrogant and dismissive of others in a way that might be funny if Chase weren't so dead behind the eyes. Chase is all surface, no substance and his minor barbs lobbed at the villainous characters in Nothing But Trouble, never lands. 

Nothing But Trouble stars Chevy Chase as Chris, a stock expert who has made millions giving stock advice. He lives a fabulous life in a fabulous New York City apartment with fabulous friends that he can barely tolerate. One day, on the way home to a party in his own apartment, Chris meets his new neighbor, Diane (Demi Moore). It's not a meet cute in the traditional sense, it's more of two people sharing the same space that the script requires to be together. To say that Moore and Chase don't share a particular chemistry is an understatement. It appears to take a lot of effort from Moore to be in a scene with Chase, struggling to find a place amid the odor of his massive ego. 

Diane has just lost a big client in Atlantic City and she desperately needs a ride. She asks Chris, who she just met, if she can borrow his car and he insists on driving her himself. A pair of Chris' most obnoxious party guests, played in broad South American caricatures by comedian Taylor Negron and Berlita Demas, overhear Chris and Diane's plan to drive to Atlantic City and insist on going with them. So, on top of the anti-chemistry of Moore and Chase we have a pair of obnoxious stereotypes to overcome. It's as if Akroyd actively wanted us to hate Nothing But Trouble. His dedication to not having actual jokes continues to plague the movie. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media