How I Became a Film Critic

When I was a kid I fell in love with watching Siskel & Ebert, the absolute gold standard of televised film criticism. As I am sure it inspired hundreds of others to want share their love of movies with the world, I wanted to be Roger or Gene. I wanted the job of going to the movies. I had no idea that someone could get paid to go to the movies. That was insane to me and I wondered why everyone didn't seek that same job. In later years, I would learn that relatively few people actually pursued film criticism as a career. 

The job of film critic developed in the early 20th century, not long after the invention of movies themselves. After several years of newspapers dismissing movies as a flash in the pan phenomenon, the movies became an established part of American culture and newspapers were forced to acknowledge that phenomenon. The earliest known film critics were beat writers, often theater writers or feature writers. They may have been fascinated with the moving pictures, but they were essentially reporters who were given the movies as a beat. 

This notion of movies being a beat rather than a calling persisted for years. Rarely, if ever, did someone start out there career as a film critic. Perhaps the best, and most rare, example of film critics setting out to be critics, took place in Paris, France, where the famed Cahiers Du Cinema became one of the biggest and most influential film guides in the world. Cahier was founded by a group of people who wanted to one day be film directors. But, they began their careers as professional appreciators, people who fell in love with movies and developed an all-consuming desire to share their enthusiasm for movies. 

Jean Luc Godard, Francois Truffaut, Claude Chabrol, started out at Cahiers Du Cinema before leaving to lead the French New Wave as some of the most talented and beloved filmmakers of all time. At Cahier in the 50s they worked alongside film critics André Bazin, Jacques Doniol-Valcroze, and Joseph-Marie Lo Duca, pioneers in writing seriously and critically about film. They turned their passion for film into their own magazine, though Bazin had been famous in France prior to Cahier, having chosen film as his career years earlier after launching his career as a literary critic. 

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Movie Review May December

May December (2023) 

Directed by Todd Haynes

Written by Samy Burch 

Starring Natalie Portman, Julianne Moore, Charles Melton, D.W Moffett, Piper Curda 

Release Date November 17th, 2023 

Published November 15th, 2023 

A few days ago I watched David Fincher's new movie The Killer and I was left wondering if that film was intended to be a comedy. Not a traditional comedy mind you, rather a David Fincher comedy. A David Fincher comedy finds humor in a way that is far from typical comedy. It's a humor that either you get it or you don't and the filmmaker doesn't particularly care whether you understand the joke or not. It's a puzzling movie, to say the least. Now, I find myself watching another movie by another famously particular auteur and having the same question: Is this comedy? 

Todd Haynes' new movie, May December, starring Julianne Moore and Natalie Portman tells a story that would not, on the surface, seem appealing to Haynes' particular type of movie. The film tells the story of an actress, played by Portman, who travels to Savannah, Georgia to meet the real life woman that she is set to play in a new movie. That woman is played by Julianne Moore and some 30 odd years earlier, she went to prison after she had an affair and a baby with a 13 year old boy, played as a grown up by Harry Melton. 

If this scenario sounds familiar, you probably grew up in the 1990s and you recall the story of Mary Kay Letourneau, a teacher who was caught having sex with a 13 year old student named Vili Fualau. She was arrested and convicted of statutory rape. She became pregnant before heading to prison and went on to marry her much younger baby daddy when she was in her mid-30s and he was only 18 years old. The couple stayed together for over 20 some years before ending their marriage just before Letourneau passed away in 2020. 

That kind of trashy, tabloid story would not appear to suit the man who made such elegant movies as Carol and Far From Heaven. That said, both of those movies are about tearing away the blinders that many choose to wear regarding the America of the 1950s and 60s to reveal the trashy, ugly, and awful core that many Baby Boomers, and their parents, would like to forget. In this case, Haynes applies his talents to a story from the 1990s and he's pulling back the veil on a story we'd all put behind us and tried to ignore. We'd all made up our minds about Letourneau and her teenage victim, she was the older person in the relationship and bore responsibility for it. 

Haynes doesn't try to change or complicate our memory but he does appear to add some texture and nuance to it. While we laughed at late night jokes at the expense of Letourneau in the 1990s there was a real person there and she did go on to marry her victim. What was that about? Is this a love story? Or is it something more sinister, a case of grooming that was so pervasive in the public that we collectively tried to ignore the fact that it didn't actually end when Letourneau went to prison. The story continued, she married her victim, they had more children and we all turned away to search for the next big scandal. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Classic Movie Review Defending Your Life

Defending Your Life (1991) 

Directed by Albert Brooks 

Written by Albert Brooks 

Starring Albert Brooks, Meryl Streep, Rip Torn, Lee Grant

Release Date March 22nd, 1991

Published November 14th, 2023 

If I could choose what the afterlife looks like, I'd want it to look like the afterlife as presented by Albert Brooks' Defending Your Life. As both an idyllic and, ultimately positive take on life and death, Defending Your Life has a strong philosophical underpinning. The idea is that you go to Judgment City, you defend the life you live, try to prove that you overcame the fears that held you back in your previous life, and if you did, you get to move on to a nebulous afterlife that we can only assume is some kind of unending paradise. 

For all of the meta-gags, the performative pomposity and cluelessness, that marks the Albert Brooks character, Brooks' sincere world building in Defending Your Life is inspired. Brooks plays Daniel Miller, an ad executive who buys a new car and immediately gets himself killed in an accident. Arriving in Judgment City, Daniel thinks he's in heaven. The reality however, is different. No, he's not in hell. Hell doesn't exist in this universe. Judgment City is where one goes to defend the life they lived in hopes of moving on to the next place. 

If you fail, no big deal. If you fail, you just go back to Earth and live another life. You can do this as often as it takes to finally get it right. At a certain point, yes, you may be flung into to the universe with nowhere to go, but that's just for people who've failed a lot and show no interest in moving forward. Nothing to actually worry about. That's what Rip Torn's character, Daniel's advocate in Judgment City, Bob Diamond says with confidence that he's letting you in on a comforting secret that isn't as comforting as he thinks it is. 

Torn is Academy Award level brilliant in the role of Bob Diamond. Bob Diamond will present Daniel's life to a pair of judges who will determine whether or not he overcame his fears enough to be worthy of moving on. Standing opposite Bob and Daniel is Lena Foster (Lee Grant), a shark-like prosecutor who aims to use Daniel's life choices against him to keep him from moving on. In this universe, anything you have ever done has been recorded and is accessible as a video file. To give a sense of fairness, only a specific number of days from your life will be chosen to be looked at. The more days being used in your trial, don't call it a trial, but it's a trial, the harder it can be to move on. 

There is a running gag in Defending Your Life where small talk inevitably leads to people asking Daniel 'how many days' and when he says '9,' the residents of Judgment City each cringe and wish him luck. One kind restaurant owner, upon hearing Daniel say 9 days immediately gifts him dozens of pies. This sounds insane but one of the perks of Judgment City is that its adjacency to Heaven means the food is incredible and you can eat as much of it as you want. That's the kind of perk of the afterlife we can all get behind. 

Daniel's afterlife is changed forever when he meets Julia, one of the few people who died relatively young like himself. They bond as Daniel heckles a terrible comedian at a nightclub. Apparently comedy doesn't get the rub from Heaven as the food does. Julia immediately finds Daniel charming with the easy way he can make her laugh. In Streep's gentle, sweet, and assured comic performance, we can easily see why she would fall for Albert Brooks. She can see his emotional wounds and appears eager to help him heal, both because of her kindness and because she just likes the guy. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Documentary Review Werner Herzog: Radical Dreamer

Werner Herzog: Radical Dreamer 

Directed by Thomas von Steinaecker

Written by Documentary 

Starring Werner Herzog 

Release Date December 5th, 2023 

Published November 9th, 2023 

Like many cinephiles, I have a particular fascination with the legendary director Werner Herzog. I find Herzog's work to be incredible, dangerous, unique, and often quite alien when compared to the kinds of movies I spend most of my life writing about. Herzog's work has a hypnotic quality to it, especially his documentary work where he lingers on beautiful images and in that mellifluous, German accented voiceover he explains the beauty or the horror, or the fascinating sight before us and draws us in with his philosophical and unique observations. 

The new documentary, Werner Herzog: Radical Dreamer, aims to do for Herzog what he has done for his own subjects, reveal their fascinating qualities and revel in the beauty of such observation. Radical Dreamer opens on Herzog driving the streets of Los Angeles. He's taking director Thomas Von Steinaeker, and by extension, us, to one of his favorite places in Los Angeles. But first, Herzog muses about how doesn't actually dream. He hasn't had an actual dream in years. Rather, he has waking dreams while driving for 20 hours or so on a random road trip. In these dreams he has various visions that appear like dreams. 

Only Werner Herzog could make falling asleep behind the wheel of a moving car sound like a lovely and poetic experience. Of course, having spent a portion of his career working with Klaus Kinski, a vehicle crash is probably not something that would phase you. Radical Dreamer will take us through Herzog's legendary career, stopping on several of his most famous productions, with Kinski showing up to be Kinski, unhinged, bugged eyes, screaming and threatening Herzog and his crew with various forms of physical threats. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Albert Brooks Defending My Life

Albert Brooks: Defending My Life (2023) 

Directed by Rob Reiner 

Written by Documentary

Starring Albert Brooks, Rob Reiner 

Release Date November 11th, 2023 

Published October 4th, 2023 

It's rare, if not impossible, to find a consensus funniest person in comedy. That said, the closest one might come to a consensus all time funniest is Albert Brooks. Few in the world of comedy are as widely beloved and respected as the stand up comic turned SNL break out star to filmmaker. Brooks unites a coalition of comedy greats in the opinion that he is wildly funny, influential, and respected. That's clear from the new documentary on Brooks' career called Albert Brooks: Defending My Life. The documentary, directed by Brooks' lifelong friend Rob Reiner is mostly a conversation between the two filmmakers that is occasionally broken up by an all star cast of comedians praising Brooks. 

Oh, and that conversation is occasionally interrupted by some of the most incredible archive footage possible. Reiner, with access to Brooks' vast catalogue of comedy dating back to the late 60s and early 70s, unearths some absolute gems. Brooks was a hardworking comic and made appearances on any variety show that would have him. He soon became a beloved talk show guest, performing stand up routines unlike any comic on the planet, true comedic art projects that Brooks pulled off the top of his brilliant comic imagination. Though known today as a remarkable writer, Brooks' approach to the medium of stand up was freeform and completely unpredictable. 

Even before he became a celebrity, Brooks was beloved and ballyhooed in comedy circles. While attending High School alongside Rob Reiner, Rob's dad, Carl, saw Brooks perform at a school talent show. Brooks recounts the bit he did, one fitting of his off the cuff comedy style, and how it left Carl Reiner, then one of the most beloved minds in comedy, rolling in the aisles. So impressed was Carl Reiner that when he appeared on the Steve Allen Show, shortly after seeing Brooks perform, and before the rest of the world had heard of Brooks, Reiner called Albert the funniest guy he's ever seen. 

That's remarkable praise coming from a man who counts Dick Van Dyke and Mel Brooks as his closest friends. That's also a testament to the power of Albert Brooks, a witty guy who is not above turning himself into a spectacle for a laugh. The opening of the documentary features a routine in which a sullen Brooks lamenting his place in the world of cerebral comedy. He swears that he can be wacky and while holding onto his somber tone, he proceeds to drop his pants and hit himself in the face with a pie, all while demonstrating contempt for physical comedy, it's meta before meta was a thing. Indeed, Brooks is likely THE progenitor of meta comedy. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media

Why I Walked Out

A question that I get regularly in my line of work as a professional film critic is "Have you ever walked out of a movie?" The answer is simply, yes, I have walked out of a movie. I have, in fact, walked out of two movies. I also went on to publish remarkably negative reviews despite not having finished watching these two movies. I felt strongly that I had seen far more than enough of each of these movies to make a value judgment about them and I don't feel any sort of ethical qualms about it. These were execrable films that were unlikely to improve markedly following my leaving. 

I left both films due to being severely grossed out. I will explain but please understand that while I will use as much tactful language as I can, I may have to describe some things that will be uncomfortable to say the least and disgusting at worst. Take that as a warning, the following passages on these two movies contain language of a gross and descriptive nature: Reader discretion is advised. Do me a favor, if you decide to continue reading, drop your own movie walk out stories in the comments, I am curious how many of my loyal readers have similar walkout experiences to mine. Thanks! 

Formula 51 (The 51st State) 

My first walkout came very early in my career. In 2001 I was assigned to watch and write about a troubled production called Formula 51. The film had been through the ringer during its troubled production having been initially titled The 51st State. The film underwent severe reshoots and was finally dumped unceremoniously in theaters with little promotion. The film stars Samuel L. Jackson as a drug dealer who has created a killer new drug. The drug is super addictive and everyone wants to get their hands on it. Jackson's Elmo has to outwit numerous killers trying to get his drugs and the recipe to produce it. 

I'm recalling the plot from memory so that could be a little off but that is the gist of it. Regardless, at about the halfway point of Formula 51 Jackson manages to avoid a group hitmen by giving them a severe diuretic. How he got them to take the drug, I have no idea. But as Elmo watches on from another room through a two-way mirror, the killers start to.... feel the effects of the super-laxative. You can imagine, the scene starts with bubbling and gurgling noises before descending into the baddies having massive diarrhea in the room and we have to see it. I can't recall how much of the fecal results we had to endure because after the first baddie began filling his pants, I walked out. 

Find my full length article at Geeks.Media 

Classic Movie Review Fatal Instinct

Fatal Instinct (1993) 

Directed by Carl Reiner 

Written by David O'Malley 

Starring Armand Assante, Sherilyn Fenn, Kate Nelligan, Christopher McDonald, Sean Young 

Release Date October 29th, 1993 

Published October 31st, 2023 

Why is there no legacy for the movie Fatal Instinct? This brilliant parody of Basic Instinct, Fatal Attraction, and several other sex thrillers is absolutely hysterical from beginning to end. Legendary comic icon Carl Reiner is spot on in his timing, his direction is superb, and the jokes are nearly non-stop from start to finish. I can't understand it, why have most people have forgotten about Fatal Instinct? While Robin Hood Prince of Thieves and Hot Shots Part Deux are deservedly remembered for their 1993 releases, Fatal Instinct languishes in obscurity, and it makes no sense. All three of these movies, and Loaded Weapon, should all be fondly recalled as some of the best spoof comedies of all time. 

Armand Assante stars in Fatal Instinct and while he's not a natural comic actor, he's remarkably game for the nonsense being thrown at him in Fatal Instinct. Assante is Detective Ned Ravine, a good cop by night and a defense attorney by day. Thus, when we see Ravine bust a criminal during a stakeout at an amusement park, we also see Ravine become the man's defense attorney the following day in a series of very funny visual gags that I won't try to detail here. The visual jokes keep coming throughout the movie and you may have to watch Fatal Instinct a couple times in order to catch all the hilarious gags in Fatal Instinct. 

My favorite early gag is one I will try to lay out as it gives you a good sense of the sensibilities of Fatal Instinct. In the opening credits, if you're a huge music fan, you may make note of a credit for Clarence 'Big Man' Clemons. Indeed, Clarence is in the movie and he's used in a terrific running gag in which Sean Young, playing a noir femme fatale named Lola Cain is followed everywhere she goes by her very own sultry sax solo played by Clarence Clemons. It's a very simple but very effective joke that pays off later in another famous musician cameo that gets a big laugh. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media