Movie Review The Last Station

The Last Station(2009) 

Directed by Michael Hoffman 

Written by Michael Hoffman 

Starring Christopher Plummer, Helen Mirren, James McAvoy, Paul Giamatti, Kerry Condon 

Release Date December 23rd, 2009 

Published January 5th, 2010 

I know little of Leo Tolstoy beyond his most famous works. I have not read “War and Peace” or “Anna Karenina.” Like so many poseur intellectuals I speak of wanting to read them as a way of improving my standing in conversation. Tolstoy has been co-opted by many more famous impostors than I. Now, having experienced “The Last Station,” a fictionalized account of Tolstoy’s last days, I feel I should attempt a more sincere appreciation.

“The Last Station” stars Christopher Plummer as Tolstoy and Helen Mirren as his wife of 48 years, Countess Sophia. In another incarnation this film starred Anthony Hopkins as Tolstoy and Meryl Streep as the Countess. Regardless, “The Last Station” in its final form cannot be improved upon. The relationship between Tolstoy and his wife in the last year of his life is observed by us through the eyes of Valentin (James McAvoy). Hired to be Tolstoy’s personal secretary, Valentin is really a spy for Tolstoy’s long time acolyte Chertkov (Paul Giamatti), the leader of the so-called Worldwide Tolstoyan Movement.

Chertkov suspects that the Countess is pushing Tolstoy to sell his great works to the highest bidder instead of giving them to Chertkov who plans to distribute them for free as part of the movement. Valentin, a true believer in the movement, right down to the misguided chastity pledge, which Tolstoy himself disabuses him of, is trapped right in the middle of a bitter power struggle.

Valentin’s troubles are multiplied when he meets Masha (Kerry Condon). Among the only women in the movement, Masha definitely never got the chastity pledge part; she lives the Tolstoy philosophy directly from the books and not from Chertkov’s co-opting of Tolstoy. Masha immediately falls for Valentin, whose lack of sexual experience makes him both terrified and bold. The romance is encouraged by both Tolstoy and the Countess whose own love affair has run hot and cold for more than 40 years. Chertkov meanwhile, sees Valentin’s love as a betrayal and is concerned that Valentin has been won over to the side of the Countess.

When Chertkov arrives at the compound after years of house arrest in Moscow he immediately sets about isolating Tolstoy from the Countess and leaving Valentin even more trapped amid the struggle for the great man’s soul. Directed by Michael Hoffman (“Restoration”), “The Last Station” is a passionate tale of lifelong love and a devotion to an idea. Tolstoy was desperate to help the dispossessed, a need exploited by Chertkov and loathed by the Countess who felt he should care for his family above all.

The wedge driven between the love of Tolstoy’s life and the ideals he so passionately defended is a deep and enduring drama driven home in the wounded soul performance of the great Christopher Plummer. In what can be fairly called the finest performance in his illustrious career, Christopher Plummer gives a lively, full breath performance as Tolstoy.

While the great man can fairly be called out for being wishy washy over his final wishes, he is not without passion in both directions and the conflicting passions are the chafing tension at the heart of “The Last Station.”

James McAvoy is an excellent stand in for us in the audience. As the innocent observer he on our behalf witnesses with wide eyes Tolstoy’s love for the Countess and his commitment to care for the poor that was part of Tolstoy’s work. When McAvoy as Valentin falls for Masha, the film adds another layer of drama and romance to an already moving and engaging film.

Kerry Condon is radiant as Masha, a free spirit who refuses to be tied down to any one’s idea of life but her own even as she has a soft spot for Tolstoy’s visionary empathy.

Helen Mirren and Paul Giamatti round out a fine ensemble cast as two people who were destined to clash. The Countess was always a woman of privilege whose status gave Tolstoy free reign to become the champion of the poor. Chertkov, on the other hand, was a peasant and perhaps a charlatan who gained a modest amount of celebrity status for himself thanks to his access to and eventual guru-like control over Tolstoy.

“The Last Station” brims with passion, tension, love and deep sadness.

The final scenes, set inside the cottage of a railroad Pullman surrounded by a coterie of reporters waiting like vultures for the news of Tolstoy’s passing, are moving for being pitched at just the right dramatic level. As the Countess waits outside in a railroad car, Tolstoy calls out for his love and Valentin’s divided soul, minus Masha, and pulled by Chertkov, radiates with grief.

It is a powerful series of scenes and one you must see and feel for yourself. “The Last Station” is one of the best movies of 2009.

Movie Review Georgia Rule

Georgia Rule (2007)

Directed by Garry Marshall 

Written  by Mark Andrus 

Starring Jane Fonda, Lindsay Lohan, Felicity Huffman, Dermot Mulroney, Cary Elwes 

Release Date May 11th, 2007 

Published May 10th, 2007 

Director Garry Marshall has skated on the success of his hit 1990 romantic comedy Pretty Woman for more than a decade now. That film invented the idea of a 'hooker with a heart of gold.' For some reason people accepted this premise of a hooker who rises from the mean streets of Los Angeles to become the wife of a millionaire businessman. In hindsight, Pretty Woman is an objectionable fantasy that, if it didn't star the luminescent Julia Roberts it likely would have been seen for the ugly lie that it is.

This type of trash has been Marshall's stock and trade ever since. Check 1994's Exit To Eden which is a comedy about sado-masochism featuring Rosie O'Donnell and Dan Akroyd in bondage costumes and it is somehow not a horror movie. 1996's Dear God presented a group of banal mail carriers in a vaguely religious, deeply unfunny comedy. And 1999's The Other Sister was a romantic comedy about a pair of mismatched mentally handicapped people that is so insensitive that Roger Ebert described their depiction as being like trained seals.

Runaway Bride and the Princess Diaries movies were merely forgettable trifles, slightly less terrible than Marshall's other movies. And 2003's Raising Helen was yet another bizarre and objectionable premise. That one has a mother and father dying in a car accident and leaving their three kids in the care of the one person in their family least qualified to care for the children. Why did they do this? To teach this family member responsibility. If you think using your children to teach this lesson is a good idea, please consider not having children. Just to be on the safe side.

This brings us to Marshall\'s latest bizarre bad idea. Georgia Rule is a sitcomic take on some real issues. Issues like child sexual abuse, drug abuse and alcoholism. That it happens to star the troubled child star Lindsey Lohan is a strange and sad coincidence.

In Georgia Rule Lindsey Lohan stars as Rachel a troubled teenager who has been banished to her grandma Georgia's (Jane Fonda) home in Idaho for the summer. Rachel's mother, Lilly (Felicity Huffman), simply can't keep Rachel in line anymore and she hopes that her own mother's strict 'Georgia Rules' can straighten Rachel out. Things naturally get off to a rocky start. Rachel remains rebellious and incorrigible despite Georgia's constant prodding, though she does accept a job working for a local veterinarian, Simon (Dermot Mulroney), who once dated her mother.

She also begins a tentative romance with a young Mormon man, Harlan (Garrett Hedlund), who is preparing for a 2 year mission and an arranged marriage, something that somehow doesn't put off the sexually aggressive Rachel in any way. Rachel's behavior soon has Lilly coming back to town to sort things out and when she does secrets are revealed that no one is fully prepared to deal with.

Directed by uber-hack Garry Marshall, Georgia Rule is an offensively off-key disaster. It's a light hearted, light headed comedy that attempts to be an adult drama. Crammed into the seams of this ostensibly good natured family comedy are subplots in which Lohan performs oral sex on a somewhat unwilling Mormon, threatens to have sex with the boyfriends of all the girls in this small town, and attempts to sleep with Dermot Mulroney's Simon even though there is a question as to whether the Simon character may be either her real father and or in love with her mother. Ewww!

Then there is creepy Cary Elwes whose character is accused of sexually abusing Lohan's character from the time she was 12. This having happened while Felicity Huffman's Lilly was a useless fumbling drunk, which, as of the start of the movie we are told that she still is.

It\'s not unnatural that a movie would attempt to deal with such deep dark issues, the problem is in the approach. Garry Marshall's hacky, sitcomic approach to these serious issues undermines the drama and coats every scene in a creepy false veneer. Marshall tosses these issues into the movie, muddies the waters with them and then backs away for a light hearted moment and then dips back into the creepiness. Georgia Rule is a tonal train wreck.

Georgia Rule plays like a Todd Solondz movie directed by mainstream hack. At that time that thought occurred to me, I was honestly unaware that Garry Marshall was the director of Georgia Rule. Seeing his name in the credits at the end was a revelation. He perfectly fits my perception of just the kind of mainstream comic hack who should not visit Solondz style material.

Georgia Rule is bizarre, offensive, clueless, dunderheaded and foolish. Garry Marshall has always been a hack director but Georgia Rule is so wretched I had to even reconsider my feelings on the one movie of his I liked, Pretty Woman. In hindsight, Pretty Woman is nearly as repellent as Georgia Rule. The difference is that movie had Julia Roberts at her most appealing. Georgia Rule has Lindsay Lohan at her most troubled.

What is it about Garry Marshall that makes him try to turn everything into a pasty sitcom? It's bizarre how he tries to portray real life traumatic situations and stick them into his preferred context, the half hour comedy. Drug abuse, sexual abuse, alcohol abuse, Marshall puts these things into his movies and adds a metaphorical laugh track via his banal direction and inability to relate to these problems on a human level. 

Movie Review Gemini Man

Gemini Man (2019)

Directed by Ang Lee 

Written by David Benioff, Billy Ray, Darren Lemke

Starring Will Smith, Clive Owen, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Benedict Wong 

Release Date October 11th, 2019 

Published October 10th, 2019 

Gemini Man stars Will Smith as Henry Brogan, the world's foremost assassin. We meet Henry in the midst of a mission. Henry is perched on a mountain top waiting for a train. Henry's task is to kill a potential terrorist who is aboard this high speed, moving train. Henry is going to attempt to assassinate his target from 200 yards away while the train is moving. It's a shot only a few people in the world can make and Henry Brogan does not miss. 

Unfortunately, Henry doesn't actually know who this target was. The information given to him by his intelligence handler says the man was a scientist working to create weapons for terrorists. In reality, the man was working for the American government. The assassination of this man has put Henry on someone else's hit list. Henry was set up and to stay safe, he will have to go on the run and try to find the people who set him up. 

Opposite Henry and looking to take him out is Clay Veras (Clive Owen). Veras is Henry's former commander and the man who set Henry up. He's now also in charge of capturing or killing Henry now that he's a fugitive. Veras has a small army at his command as an independent military contractor but he's not going to use it. Instead, Clay has something more unique in mind. 23 years ago, Veras extracted Henry's DNA and set about creating a clone of his best assassin. The goal was to raise a new Henry, one with fewer flaws and no conscience. 

Gemini Man was directed by Ang Lee and produced by Michael Bay from a script by David Benioff (Game of Thrones) and Billy Ray (Shattered Glass). The premise of the film is clever and with Ang Lee at the helm, Gemini Man has a sheen of professionalism and a genuine narrative energy. The look of Gemini Man is crisp and expensive with strong cinematography and the unique look of an Ang Lee movie with his odd angles and use of closeups. 

Late period Will Smith movies showcase Smith's choice to appear dignified at the expense of his charismatic energy. He's still a movie star handsome but less lively and energetic as in his earlier work such as Bad Boys or Men in Black. No longer chasing jokes, Smith is now more eager to appear youthful in action than in spirit. It's a tradeoff that doesn't resonate with me but I understand it. While I might prefer the more lighthearted version of Smith, his late period self-seriousness does lend gravity to the sci-fi lite aesthetic of Gemini Man. 

In Gemini Man we see a youthful Will Smith CGI recreation and it's relatively convincing outside of a couple of rubbery, early 2000's shots. The narrative of the young Henry Brogan, nicknamed Junior by Owen as his surrogate father, is rather apt for who Will Smith is now. It's as if the current Will Smith had had his charismatic, live wire energy bred out of him in order to create a more perfect action star, badass persona. 

Gemini Man is convincing enough in its technology and that lends a strong helping hand to the action which is legitimately pulse-pounding. I was genuinely excited throughout Gemini Man by the big action set pieces, especially chases through Cartagena, Columbia, and Istanbul, Turkey in which young and old Will Smith match each other move for move with the older Smith able to repeatedly out-wit the younger version despite the younger version having superior physicality. 

Strangely, Gemini Man is light on the identity aspect of the story, the one you might expect to drive the plot more. Despite this being an Ang Lee movie with a script by a pair of writers who know a little about crafting characters, Gemini Man appears to be far closer to the vision of Jerry Bruckheimer rather than three authorial voices. The action of Gemini Man is far more at the heart of the movie than any examination of the notion of battling oneself to find peace. 

The theme of identity is so subtle as to only be implied just by the premise. Gemini Man rarely slows down long enough for Henry to think much about what it's like to face a version of himself that is trying to kill him. I appreciate the subtlety to a point. That said, there appears to be a scene missing that might deepen the subtext into something more memorable. Instead, the character of Henry Brogan appears to find it notable that he's facing a clone of himself but not enough for him to spend much time thinking about it. 

The script appears to take the easy way out rather than go into depth about the moral quandaries of being a professional killer. Instead, the movie appears to prefer the moral question of whether cloning is right or wrong, a quaint notion that feels like something from a movie in the 1990's. I'm not saying the argument over genetic cloning has been resolved but it hasn't been top of mind since Dolly the sheep was a thing. Thus why it feels quaint and more than a little bit of a cop out to be the moral crux of Gemini Man. 

It occurs to me now that I am nearing the end of this review that I have not once mentioned actress Mary Elizabeth Winstead who plays the female lead in Gemini Man. So forgettable, underwritten and unnecessary is the character of Danny that I barely remembered to mention her. That's not a commentary on Winstead's performance, she's solid. Rather, it's a commentary on how bereft of interest in female characters that the filmmakers are. 

At a loss to do anything with the character of Danny, since she is not a romantic interest of either Henry or his clone, the filmmakers turn her into a plot convenience, she's there to move things along as needed, or as a nod to the modern aesthetic of the tough chick, the strawman of modern feminine empowerment. Through the character of Danny the filmmakers are saying "Hey look, she can beat up a guy. See, how progressive we are? She may not have complexity but she can do what the boys can do so we can consider ourselves progressive by association." 

That said, I don't hate Gemini Man. It's legitimately well made with a terrific pace and gripping action. Ang Lee is a pro director and the fast paced action kept my attention while the Will Smith characters invested me in their story. I don't think there is much more to Gemini Man than cheap thrills but as cheap thrills go, it's better than many other action movies. Will Smith is still an actor I am eager to watch in a lead role and I still enjoy his personality, even as he has dialed back on the aspects of his personality that I have always found most appealing. 

Gemini Man is worth seeing on the big screen, if there isn't something you are more interested in seeing. It will also be a solid bit of distraction on Blu-Ray, DVD or streaming early next year. 

Movie Review Garfield

Garfield (2004) 

Directed by Peter Hewitt 

Written by Joel Cohen, Alec Sokolow

Starring Breckin Meyer, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Bill Murray, Stephen Tobolowsky 

Release Date June 11th, 2004

Published June 10th, 2004 

As a kid, I was a huge fan of Garfield the comic strip. I had all the books, made up of all of the Newspaper strips, I had the Garfield videos that aired on each holiday and I was a regular Saturday morning viewer of Garfield and Friends. However, when I heard that Garfield was coming to the big screen I was not excited. Especially since the film would not be animated but live action with Garfield rendered in CGI. Throw in Breckin Meyer, Jennifer Love Hewitt and director Peter Hewitt and I was even less excited.

Then they cast Bill Murray as the voice of Garfield and somehow this mess of an idea became mildly tolerable as a concept. 

For those of you unfamiliar with the comic strip, Garfield is a fat, lazy, lasagna loving, orange cat. He loves to eat, sleep and watch TV and occasionally revel in the constant humiliation of his owner John, played here by Breckin Meyer. The plot of the film has Garfield's comfy life turned upside down by the arrival of Odie, a lost puppy that was a gift from Garfield's attractive veterinarian, Liz (Jennifer Love Hewitt).

With Odie getting all of John's attention, Garfield hatches a plan to get rid of him. His plan works but when Garfield sees how sad John is at losing Odie, he decides to get Odie back. That's not as easy as it sounds because Odie has been picked up by a conniving kid’s show host named Happy Chapman (Stephen Tobolowsky) who wants to make Odie part of his act and take the act to New York. It's up to Garfield to stop him before Odie is taken away forever.

The plot of Garfield the movie is dull, as are the human characters. What's not dull is Bill Murray whose constant riffing and laconic delivery are what I've always imagined Garfield would sound like. Garfield's lines in this script are as tepid as anything the human characters have to deliver but when Murray seems to go off the script the movie gets pretty funny. Maybe I'm biased by how much I like the character and how much I like Bill Murray, but I found myself willing to tolerate most of the banal plot of Garfield because I liked Bill Murray's performance as Garfield.

The CGI Garfield is not the best special effect. He does not seamlessly integrate into the background and his unreality is exacerbated by not having human characters interesting enough to distract from the effects. Nothing against Breckin Meyer or Jennifer Love Hewitt, who are both likable actors in the right roles. However, when the material is bad they can do little to improve it, unlike more experienced and talented actors like Murray who can make bad material better than it should be.

See Garfield only if you are a huge fan of Bill Murray and his unique brand of personality and humor. 

Movie Review Gangs of New York

Gangs of New York (2002) 

Directed by Martin Scorsese 

Written by Jay Cocks, Steven Zaillian, Kenneth Lonergan 

Starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Daniel Day Lewis, Cameron Diaz, John C Reilly, Jim Broadbent 

Release Date December 20th, 2002 

Published December 18th, 2002 

The argument rages on as to who our greatest living director is. Certainly an argument can be made that there is no more popular and well known filmmaker than Steven Spielberg. The quality of Spielberg's work is impeccable. But when you talk about artistry in filmmaking and storytelling there is none more talented than Martin Scorsese. Though some may argue his work is too “East Coast,” that it lacks mainstream appeal and thus is not popular, the man' artistry is too great to deny. Scorsese's latest work, though again very “East Coast,” is nonetheless another work of stunning artistry.

Gangs Of New York is not just the story of its lead characters, Bill "The Butcher" Cutter (Daniel Day Lewis) and Amsterdam Vallon (Leonardo DiCaprio). It's also the story of our country and how it was forged in the blood and sweat of immigrants. It's a history that many don't like to reflect on. A history of incivility and murder, of prejudice and inhumanity. This is no wondrous tale of how Lincoln led the charge to freedom, it's far too honest to make a hero of anyone ,even a sacred cow like President Lincoln.

Gangs Of New York takes place on the fringe of the Civil War, in the ghetto known as Five Points where the Irish immigrants fleeing famine in their home country have established a foothold. Opposing Irish immigration is a group calling themselves The Natives led by Bill the Butcher. A vicious crime lord, The Butcher's hatred of the immigrants leads to a showdown in 1846 that would decide control of Five Points. Leading the immigrants is a man known as Priest Vallon (Liam Neeson). Though not a real Priest, he wears a collar and carries a staff with a cross on it which he uses as a weapon.

In this opening showdown Priest is killed by The Butcher, who claims control of Five Points. Witnessing the bloody carnage from the sidelines, young Amsterdam Vallon witnesses his father’s murder and vows revenge on The Butcher. Amsterdam is taken away from Five Points and sent to a prison school called Hell's Gate until he is of age. Years later Amsterdam returns to Five Points to claim his revenge.

Amsterdam is quick to find that the neighborhood has changed a lot and The Butcher is still in control. In fact he is now now more than just a vicious thug, The Butcher has made inroads in politics, buying the freedom of his syndicate through his relationship with New York's political leader Boss Tweed (Jim Broadbent). Killing The Butcher will not be easy, so Amsterdam schemes his way into The Butcher's inner circle with the help of a friend named Johnny (Henry Thomas). Once in close contact with the butcher however Amsterdam is nearly seduced by his charm and honor. 

There is no doubt that The Butcher is a cold blooded killer but he is also an honorable fighter who has, ever since the great gang battle of 1846, honored the memory of Amsterdam's father with a massive celebration. The butcher is unaware of Amsterdam's identity until Johnny, jealous of Amsterdam's relationship with a lovely pick pocket, Jenny Everdeane (Cameron Diaz), tells Bill the truth and nearly gets Amsterdam killed.

In a scene of incredible staging, Amsterdam makes an attempt on The Butcher's life during the celebration of his father’s death. He fails, but The Butcher, now aware of Amsterdam's true identity, shows mercy on Amsterdam and allows him to walk out, but not before scarring his face with a hot blade. This leads to the film’s climactic street fight between the immigrants and the natives. A combination of civility and brutality, which begins with a meeting between the gangs to decide on rules, weapons and a date and time for the fight.

How historically accurate is Gangs Of New York? Well like any Hollywood film, there will always be artistic license whether you like it or not. Scorsese has repeatedly stated his meaningful attempts at accuracy, which many see as the reason the film’s budget ballooned past the 100 million-dollar mark. Indeed the costumes and cobbled streets seem to fit what is known of the era. Not many history books outside the state of New York tell the story of the 1860's such as the draft riots which lead to bloody battles in the streets between New Yorkers and union soldiers. Indeed that actually happened whether we want to remember it or not. Similarly, people would like to forget the corruption and violence of 5 Points and the Gangs of New York. 

History lesson or not, Gangs Of New York is an enthralling tale told by a master storyteller. Scorsese is in complete control and the passion he clearly has for this material, which he has wanted to film for 20 plus years, is expressed remarkably on the screen. The Oscar buzz surrounding the performance of Daniel Day Lewis is more than justified. Lewis' Butcher is a seductive villain, charming and cunning. Even Amsterdam, who has for years thought only of killing him, is briefly seduced by him because despite his evil, he has honor and lives by a code of the streets that is long gone.

But while everyone praises Daniel Day Lewis these days, I would like to call attention to DiCaprio who makes a real statement in this film. DiCaprio has grown up and though he still carries many teenybopper fans who swoon at his every word, we critics can no longer write him off as a guy who trades on his good looks. In Gangs Of New York, DiCaprio steps up to the big time and now must be taken seriously as an actor of depth.

Gangs Of New York is epic filmmaking in every way possible. It has scope and scale but not at the expense of character development and scripting. The production value and performances and script all come together under the craftsmanly eye of Scorsese who makes yet another masterpiece. If Scorsese doesn't win best director this time around there is something very wrong with the world. Gangs Of New York is one of the best films of the year.

Movie Review Gamer

Gamer (2009) 

Directed by Neveldine and Taylor 

Written by Neveldine and Taylor 

Starring Gerald Butler, Michael C Hall, Amber Valletta, Logan Lerman, Terry Crews 

Release Date September 4th, 2009 

Published by September 3rd, 2009 

I was under the impression that actor Gerard Butler's career was going really well. That clearly is not the case after watching his new movie Gamer. If Mr. Butler has to pick up a role that Jason Statham obviously passed on, things aren't going that well. Ok, admittedly, I cannot prove that Mr. Statham passed on Gamer. However, the movie comes from the Crank team of directors, Mark Neveldine and Bryan Taylor.

Not to mention the fact that the role is pitched to Statham's vibe of brain free, bloody grit. Gerard Butler picks up the role and one cannot escape the idea of a not so bad actor picking up another actor's scraps. What a shame. Gamer is a dopey sci-fi action movie that thrusts its audience into the midst of a story in progress. In some not so distant future interactive gaming has evolved to an inhumane level. Real men and women are being incorporated into the gaming world through technology created by Ken Castle (Michael C. Hall). Castle is a malevolent version of Bill Gates.

Castle's brain controlling technology allows gamers to control real people. His first breakthrough game, Society, allowed the gamer to live out debauched fantasies, through real people. Castle's major breakthrough however is called Slayers, a game where death row inmates run about shooting at other death row inmates. If one inmate survives 30 battles he or she can be set free.

The star of Slayers is Kable (Butler). He had survived 27 battles when we meet him. Kable's real name is Tillman and he is surviving so that he can be reunited with his wife and daughter. Kable is controlled by a teenager named Simon (Logan Lerman) and when Simon is approached by a group opposed to Castle, Kable may find his way to escape.

I have brought some order to this story through my description of the plot but trust me when I tell you that the movie itself is much more of a mess than I let on. As with their two Crank movies, directors Neveldine and Taylor have little care for telling a story. The interests of these two low watt auteurs is playing with violent toys and reveling in human destruction.

Neveldine and Taylor have a low opinion of humanity and through their movies they choose to appeal only to the base impulses. This cynical approach is expressed through misogynist imagery and hardcore violence. Women are treated as victims and sex objects and violence is exploited and glorified in a fashion that makes you worry for the director's private lives.

Movies like Gamer and both of the Crank films are like a psychological profile of the people who created them. What they show are a pair of adults who act out like teenagers. The unrestrained id. The out of control ego. And finally, the plain and simple immaturity of these films makes you wonder if regular therapy sessions would be a better use of time than filmmaking for Neveldine and Taylor.

Not only is Gamer ugly, immature and cynical, it's also derivative. Take a dash of Running Man, cross it with Death Race and you get the bare bones of Gamer. Place big dumb action star in an inescapably violent future state. Place big dumb action star in a violent game where bloodthirsty audiences ooh and ahh. Finally, have big dumb action guy bring down the bad guy.

Whether Butler's Kable is successful in stopping the evil Bill Gates guy, I will leave you to discover should you choose to endure Gamer. It doesn't really matter whether he succeeds or not. It doesn't improve the awful, ugly mess that is Gamer. Really, nothing could.

Movie Review G-Force

G-Force (2009) 

Directed by Hoyt H Yeatman Jr. 

Written by Cormac Wibberly, Marianne Wibberly 

Starring Zach Galifianakis, Nicolas Cage, Penelope Cruz, Tracy Morgan, Will Arnett, Steve Buscemi 

Release Date July 24th, 2009 

Published July 23rd, 2009 

The star of The Hangover, the foul mouthed lowbrow road comedy sensation of summer 2009, Zach Galifianakis, changes gears completely in the family adventure comedy, G-Force. Going from debauchery in Vegas to daring do alongside computer generated guinea pigs, Galifianakis may have one of the most successful and schizophrenic summer movie seasons of any actor ever.

In G-Force Zach Galifianakis plays Ben, the head scientist in a secret government lab that trains animals as spies. Ben started by training cockroaches to carry bugging devices (HA!). His greatest breakthrough however is inventing a way for guinea pigs to speak and then perform tasks. Sending them into the field for the first time, Ben has G-Force, as they come to be called, infiltrate the home of a wealthy industrialist (Bill Nighy) with alleged ambitions for taking over the world. G-Force is made up of Darwin (Sam Rockwell), Blaster (Tracy Morgan), Juarez (Penelope Cruz) and Speckles (Nicolas Cage). Speckles is a mole and a computer expert.

G-Force unfortunately fails their first mission. The evidence they thought they found was corrupted. This leads to the team being taken away from Ben and the whole operation getting shutdown by Agent Killian (Will Arnett). G-Force ends up in a pet shop but eventually their training kicks in and they are soon back on the case, even as their own government chases them down. Will they stop the tycoon from taking over the world? Do you care?

OK. You likely don't care and neither, really, will the target audience of children. What matters in G-Force are the little pleasures like a touch of the lowbrow humor, a waste of time car chase involving giant SUVs and tiny plastic hamster balls, and the sight of star Zach Galifianakis so convincingly interacting with CGI rodents.

G-Force, as most kids movies these days, is in 3D and while it adds very little to the proceedings, G-Force at least can slightly justify the use with some big time, flying at the screen action set pieces. The 3D isn't as forced as a lot of the modern 3D films and because G-Force is not a colorful or visually dynamic movie the 3D doesn't harm the experience like it did with animated films like Coraline and Up.

Is G-Force a good movie? Eh, not really. But, by the lowered standards of the kiddie flick it's not bad. Zach Galifianakis makes the most of his limited screen time and he's become a very welcome presence in movies. Bottom line is, as 3D kiddie fare goes, I can recommend G-Force even if I have already begun to forget it.