Movie Review Indiana Jones and The Dial of Destiny

Indiana Jones and The Dial of Destiny (2023) 

Directed by James Mangold 

Written by Jez Butterworth, John Henry Butterworth, David Koepp, James Mangold 

Starring Harrison Ford, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Mads Mikkelsen, Boyd Holbrook 

Release Date June 30th, 2023 

Published June 29th, 2023 

The thing that bugs me about our microwaved nostalgia culture is how often I fall for that nostalgia. Take my reaction to The Flash. I did like that movie, I stand by my positive review, problematic star aside, but the reality is that my judgment was clouded by nostalgia for my childhood. Seeing Michael Keaton in the Batsuit again, playing the role that was so important to my childhood, made me very emotional. Was I emotional because the presentation was artful and meaningful? Sort of, but I can't deny how much nostalgia for my own childhood colored that reaction. 

Indiana Jones and The Dial of Destiny is that moment in The Flash as an entire movie and the effect didn't last nearly as long. In the first few minutes, the legendary John Williams score played and my breath caught for a moment as I was transported back in time to being a very little kid seeing Raiders of the Lost Ark for the first time. I was transported back to the even more significant impact, for me, of seeing Temple of Doom in a movie theater with my mother. That John Williams score is an emotional trigger for me and for millions of other Gen-X movie nerds. 

Then a ragged and grumpy Harrison Ford came on screen and the adventure began and my mind began trying to rationalize what I was seeing. Instead of actually enjoying the action of Indiana Jones and The Dial of Destiny, most of my mental energy was dedicated to convincing myself that I was enjoying this rehash of greatest hits from an aging action star and a character well past his relevance. Even as I was falling in love with Phoebe Waller Bridge, who joins the franchises as Dr. Jones' heretofore unknown Goddaughter, Helena, I could not escape the mental gymnastics I was having to perform to will myself to enjoy something familiar and formerly beloved. 

Is Indiana Jones and The Dial of Destiny bad? No, not really. The film is directed by James Mangold who is a perfectly solid, professional director. Jez and John Henry Butterworth are solid screenwriters with a solid track record and David Koepp, co-credited on this screenplay, is among the most successful screenwriters in Hollywood. The pieces are there to make a perfectly satisfying action movie. So why don't I like this movie? Why am I having to convince myself that this is good? It starts with a half-baked and convoluted plot that lacks the energy and invention of the first two Indiana Jones movies. 

Aside from Phoebe Waller Bridge, Indiana Jones and The Dial of Destiny appears tired and lurching toward adventure as opposed to the excitement and vigor of its youthful beginnings 42 years ago. The original adventures weren't bullet proof in terms of plotting but they made up for plot holes with energy, excitement and adventure. Indiana Jones and The Dial of Destiny however, feels obligatory and that feeling works reveal more about the poorly thought out, too many cooks in the kitchen, plot holes. Three screenwriters and director James Mangold have clearly cobbled together pieces into the whole of Dial of Destiny and the patchwork is all too clear. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media

Horror in the 90s Soultaker

Soultaker (1990) 

Directed by Michael Rissi 

Written by Vivian Schilling 

Starring Vivian Schilling, Joe Estevez, Robert Z'Dar, Gregg Thomsen

Release Date October 26th, 1990 

Box Office $43,000 

When I went looking for Soultaker in order to watch it for this project, it wasn't available. I couldn't find it for rent or purchase in terms of streaming services. I mentioned to a friend of mine that I was having trouble finding it and they surprised me with a DVD copy. That sounds fortuitous right? That sounds like good luck for me doesn't it? The DVD I was given by my friend was not an official DVD of Soultaker. Rather, it was an official dub of an episode of the comedy series, Mystery Science Theater 3000. 

I was not aware of the full reputation of Soultaker when I decided to include it in Horror in the 90s. When I made the list, I saw the title Soultaker and that it was in the horror genre. I wanted to see what a movie called Soultaker was like. Had I known that its reputation was that of one of the worst horror movies ever made, I would have thought twice about including it in this book. What possible lessors or ideas could be gleaned from watching a truly terrible horror movie? 

There are certainly plenty of bad horror movies that I have watched for this book, without knowing for sure ahead of time that they were terrible. Thus, having already been told how bad Soultaker was, I had a choice to make as to whether or not it was worth seeing. That choice was complicated also by the fact that I cannot watch it in its original form. The only access to Soultaker currently is this Mystery Science Theater 3000 riffed version. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media

Classic Movie Review One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)

Directed by Milos Forman

Written by Lawrence Hauben, Bo Goldman 

Starring Jack Nicholson, Louise Fletcher, William Redfield, Danny Devito, Christopher Lloyd 

Release Date November 19th, 1975 

This week’s classic, (August 13th, 2017) on the I Hate Critics Movie Review podcast was One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest, Milos Forman’s remarkable Best Picture winning triumph. It’s been years since I had sat down to watch this remarkable film and I was surprised at just how powerful the film remains. The story of patients in a mental ward whose lives are upended when they meet Jack Nicholson’s firebrand, criminally insane, R.P McMurphy, is truly unlike any film of its era.

R.P McMurphy is a dangerous man, a volatile personality. McMurphy’s reputation as a stirrer of the proverbial pot seems ill-suited from the very beginning for Nurse Ratched’s (Louise Fletcher) orderly, scheduled, and heavily medicated psych ward. In fact, on McMurphy’s very first day we get signs of things to come as he mugs his way about stirring up his fellow patients with his antics. It seems certain from our perspective in the audience that McMurphy is going to be trouble, the only question is how much trouble.

In a typical movie, the story would be McMurphy’s antics but director Milos Forman establishes throughout One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest that as entertaining as McMurphy is in the performance of the glorious Jack Nicholson, at the height of his charismatic powers, this isn’t a typical movie. We may delight at times in McMurphy’s antics, his escape attempts, his pot stirring, et cetera, but the movie is only here to observe a day to day progression of McMurphy, the patients around him and the staff of the hospital.

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Horror in the 90s Night of the Living Dead

Night of the Living Dead (1990) 

Directed by Tom Savini 

Written by John A. Russo, George A. Romero 

Starring Tony Todd, Patricia Tallman, McKee Anderson, Tom Towles 

Release Date October 19th, 1990 

Box Office Gross $5.8 million 

The 1968 classic Night of the Living Dead is one of the greatest horror movies ever made. There was really no need for a remake. Any movie that tried to recapture the iconic qualities of the original was always doomed to failure. Naturally, the motivation to remake the George A. Romero classic was a shyster producer looking for a popular title that they could ring some cast out of. Enter Menaham Golan, half of the schlockmeister team of Golan and Globus, famous for awful sequels from Chuck Norris to Superman. It's doubtful that Golan ever even saw Romero's 1968 classic. All he wanted was the title and concept. 

That Golan hired special effects master Tom Savini to direct the remake makes sense, Golan figured he could save on salaries for both director and special effects by hiring one guy. I know that sounds cynical, but that is the exact type of corner cutting that Golan made his fortune on in the 1980s. Night of the Living Dead was Savini's first effort as a director and thus he could be brought in cheap with the added bonus of providing special effects and makeup prowess to the proceedings. 

The remake of Night of the Living Dead stars Patricia Tallman as Barbara. As she visits the grave or her late mother, along with her brother Johnny (Bill Mosely), Barbara is accosted by a strange lumbering man carrying the stench of death and a fearsome emptiness behind his. In the ensuing scuffle, Johnny is killed and Barbara goes on the run as another strange, lumbering, being emerges and reveals himself to having been recently autopsied. 

Running away, a hysterical Barbara arrives at a farm house looking for shelter. Unfortunately, what she finds inside are more of the undead lumbering and lurching after her. Barbara is rescued by the arrival of Ben (Tony Todd), who has, at the very least, learned that taking these beings out with a head shot is the only way to stop them from trying to eat their victim. Together, Ben and Barbara dispatch a pair of the monstrous undead before finding out they aren't the only ones alive in this farm house. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media

Movie Review God is a Bullet

God is a Bullet (2023)

Directed by Nick Cassavetes 

Written by Nick Cassavetes

Starring Maika Monroe, Nikolaj Coster Waldau, January Jones, Jamie Foxx 

Release Date June 23rd, 2023

Published June 22nd, 2023

God is a Bullet is an unrelentingly grim, gross, exercise in ugliness. Written and directed by Nick Cassavetes, directing with all of the artful subtlety of a sledgehammer, God is a Bullet pretends toward being a serious investigation of the horrors of human trafficking. In reality, God is a Bullet is an idiots notion of what a serious movie about a serious topic should look like. Imagine an Adam Sandler style director trying to make their version of Soderbergh's Traffic and you can get a sense of how ungodly stupid God is a Bullet truly is. 

God is a Bullet stars Nikolaj Coster Waldau as Bob Hightower, a Police Officer somewhere in the United States. Though we are told by other characters that Bob is a desk jockey, and not a particularly good cop, Bob doesn't look like a guy who eats donuts all day. Indeed, one scene in the movie shows badass Bob gluing himself back together after a severe stab wound, showing off not only how stupid he is for not going to a hospital, but also washboard abs that your average gym rat would envy. Kind of defeats the purpose of saying he's an everyman when he's got the abs of your average professional wrestler. 

Anyway, that's not an important point. God is a Bullet finds Bob having to track down a Satanic cult that has kidnapped his teenage daughter and murdered his ex-wife and her new husband. Bob is aided in his search by a former member of this Satanic Cult, Case Hardin (Maika Monroe), who narrowly escaped with her life before winding up at a rehab facility. Case agrees to help Bob find his daughter out of the guilt she feels for having helped kidnap other young girls like Bob's daughter. 

Read my full length review at Geeks.Media

Movie Review The Man from Rome

The Man from Rome (2023) 

Directed by Sergio Dow 

Written by Adrian Bol, Beth Bollinger, Gretchen Cowan 

Starring Richard Armitage, Amaia Salamanca, Paul Guilfoyle 

Release Date June 29th, 2023 

Published June 26th, 2023 

I knew I was in for an unintentional laugh riot in The Man from Rome when the first scene featured a hacking of the Vatican. Now, I am sure the Vatican probably does have a modern infrastructure with a secure network and so on. They may even have a database that they would prefer not to have being hacked. That said, the scene is framed like every movie hacking scene ever. It's as if The Vatican morphs into FBI headquarters and Ethan Hunt's computer guy in Mission Impossible were tip tapping away to get into the FBI database. As staged, it's just so silly to see Vatican security trying to battle a hacker. 

The hacker succeeds in getting through Vatican security via the power of movie level typing. What was the hacker doing? They were hacking the Pope's personal laptop. I love the idea of the Pope lying in bed late at night watching Netflix and he gets hacked. The film does show the Pope on his laptop in bed and the sight is wonderfully incongruous. Again, I'm sure The Pope is as modern as any other Boomer, but it doesn't stop the sight of him in bed with a laptop from breaking out into giggles at how it looks. 

The hacker has some information about a business deal and a haunted church in Seville, Spain that is killing people. The hacker believes that someone in the Vatican is helping the business deal to destroy the church go through and they don't trust that anyone would get this information to The Pope so they have to hack the Vatican. For his part, The Pope, played by Franco Nero, is easily convinced that something strange is afoot. He immediately assigns a top Vatican investigator to the case, Father Quart (Richard Armitage). 

In another example of how delightfully, unintentionally silly The Man from Rome is, Father Quart arrives in Seville and has a deeply awkward and stilted conversation with a local detective. The detective, in explaining to us just how good Father Quart is as an investigator, says "If you ever decide to turn in that collar for a badge and a gun, you know where to find me." In this universe, Vatican higher ups are just like cops. The cop movie tropes don't stop there as the rest of the movie plays out like a modern cop movie investigation with guns and murder attempts and duplicitous, corrupt businessmen. 

The Vatican being portrayed like a Police Precinct in an 80s cop movie is perhaps the most unexpected trend of 2023. The thriller, The Pope's Exorcist, starring Russell Crowe, had the same vibe, right down to Crowe's priest nearly being asked to turn in his holy water and collar over his above the law approach to exorcism. And, in a strange coincidence that could mean these movies exist in the same weird universe, The Pope in The Pope' Exorcist and in The Man from Rome are played by the same actor, Italian legend Franco Nero. 

Nero is the seen it all, I'm too old for this s### Pope of your cop movie dreams. He never gets the chance to demand that Richard Armitage turn in his badge and gun, but in The Pope's Exorcist, he does act as Russell Crowe's man in the chair, sending him vital information for his case exactly when he needs it. The Pope in The Man from Rome is mostly just there to kick things into gear and then take a back seat for the rest of the less than thrilling action. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Horror in the 90s Tremors

Tremors (1990) 

Directed by Ron Underwood

Written by Ron Underwood, S.S Wilson 

Starring Kevin Bacon, Fred Ward, Michael Gross, Reba McEntire, Finn Carter

Release Date January 19th, 1990 

Box Office Gross $16.9 million 

Somehow, I had managed to convince myself that I didn't like the movie Tremors. I don't know where this opinion came from as I am not sure I had actually watched the movie until now. I have little memory of seeing it before seeing it for this project and quite enjoying it. Indeed, I really had a great time watching Tremors. Why I thought I had disliked it is a mystery to me. It's my own personal Mandela Effect, my mind was convinced that I had disliked the movie when reality was that I had not seen Tremors before. 

That's about as deep as I can be in a review of a movie with such shallow pleasures as Tremors. That might sound insulting, but it's not intended that way. Tremors is quite shallow but that's not a bad thing. Instead of going for anything of substance, Tremors is about shocks and thrills, a gross monster and plenty of gross jokes as well. The movie is intentionally dumb with dopey characters getting by on their wits and dumb luck as they battle one of the most inventive movie monsters in quite many years. 

Tremors stars Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward as Val and Earl, Nevada rednecks working every part time job in their tiny, tiny community. Indeed, Perfection, Nevada has all of 14 residents. That is until residents start to get sucked into the ground and eaten by giant, poop brown slugs with snakes for tongues. It takes a little while to get going but once Val and Earl find out about the giant monsters, the movie takes on a much faster pace and cleverly pays homage to drive-in monsters of the past. 

That's the true heart of Tremors, an old school monster movie. Elements of The Blob, The Killer Shrews, Night of the Lepus, Shriek of the Mutilated and so on. Tremors isn't as much of a blood and guts horror movie as those films, the kills are relatively tame by the standards of some of the great 60s drive-in movies, but the homage is still quite clear. In the heart of Tremors, this is a movie you half watch while making out in a car, in a field, with a tinny speaker in the window and a sea of fellow cars stuffed with friends. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media