Movie Review: Dickie Roberts Former Child Star

Dickie Roberts Former Child Star (2003) 

Directed by Sam Weisman

Written by Fred Wolf 

Starring David Spade, Mary McCormack, Jon Lovitz, Alyssa Milano, Rob Reiner, Craig Bierko

Release Date September 5th, 2003 

Published September 4th, 2003 

Roger Ebert has a terrific line in his review of Dickie Roberts: Child Star. A line that sums up David Spade's career better than anything I have ever heard. Roger believes that David Spade could successfully play the lead in a story that hates his character. That perfectly describes the problems with both Dickie Roberts and Spade's previous film Joe Dirt. It's obvious from watching both films that neither character was built to be likable or sweet. Yet, because Hollywood believes all lead characters must be wholly likable, these films were forced to shoehorn in character traits that Spade cannot play. Things like being likable or charismatic or attractive. 

In the 1970's, Dickie Roberts was the star of one of TV's biggest hits "The Glimmer Gang". Then when he turned 9 years old the show was canceled and Dickie's mother left him. From the age of 9, Dickie's oddball behavior and pigeonholed rep as a child star prevented him from getting an acting gig and eventually he took a job parking cars at a Hollywood restaurant.

Dickie remains grounded somewhat by his group of former child star friends including Greg Brady, Danny Partridge, Leif Garrett and Screech. The group gets together once a week to bemoan their career lows and play poker. Also helping Dickie is his agent Sidney (Jon Lovitz). Are all Hollywood agents in movies named Sidney?

After an embarrassing loss on Celebrity Boxing and a break up with his bitch girlfriend Cyndi (Alyssa Milano), Dickie hears of a movie part that he would be perfect for. It's a role in a new film directed by Rob Reiner. Unfortunately for Dickie, Rob Reiner doesn't think Dickie could play the role because Dickie never had a real childhood. This launches us into the thrust of the film; Dickie hires a family to treat him to the childhood he never had.

Given our culture’s odd fascination with the travails of former child stars, Dickie Roberts starts with a good satirical premise. Unfortunately, Spade and his co-writer Fred Wolf abandon much of the satire in favor of the treacle family stuff. The family dynamic of Dickie relearning how to be a child to become a better adult is the driving force of the plot but it's not nearly as interesting or funny as the one scene of Dickie and his child star buddies playing poker. There are a number of funny lines sprinkled throughout the poker scene such as Barry Williams using Brady memorabilia in place of cash or Dustin "Screech" Diamond's mortification over the perks he never got.

Forcing Spade and his smarmy, snarky persona into the family scenes and a terrifically misguided romantic subplot with the mother played by Mary McCormick slams the film to a halt. Credit Spade for wringing a few laughs out of these scenes but not nearly enough. Only one scene in the family section of the film shows Spade and Wolf's best comic instincts. It's a scene where the family's young daughter tries out for her schools pep squad. A more popular girl tries out first and performs a stunningly sexual dance and the judges are rightly horrified. In most films that performance would be praised but here it gets the treatment that a nine-year-old acting like a stripper deserves, utter shock and disdain.

It's unquestionable that both Spade and Wolf have strong comic instincts. The problem is they are too often reigned in by conventional film writing that states that lead characters must be likable from beginning to end. Neither Dickie Roberts or Joe Dirt are likable characters, they are buffoons and the movies that surround them struggle to treat them that way but are undermined by the conventional need to make the characters sympathetic. Spade just doesn't do sympathetic.

Given the opportunity, Spade might make a very funny movie. In fact I am one of the few who liked his first solo starring effort Lost and Found where he seemed less shackled to the conventionally likable character. That film’s massive box office failure may be some of the reason why his other films have fit easier into that Hollywood likability box and have been comic failures whereas Lost and Found was merely a money failure.