Movie Review Killers

Killers (2010) 

Directed by Robert Luketic 

Written by Ted Griffin

Starring Ashton Kutcher, Katherine Heigl, Tom Selleck, Catherine O'Hara

Release Date June 4th, 2010 

Published June 5th, 2010 

I was a big Katherine Heigl fan. Stress WAS. Her graceless exit from Gray's Anatomy combined with the complete awfulness of The Ugly Truth has soured me on this once promising star. My opinion of Ms. Heigl drops even further with the release of Killers, a spectacularly lame attempt to mix action and romantic comedy.

In Killers, Ms. Heigl plays Jen, a single, sexless, 30-something on vacation in France with her parents (Tom Selleck and Katherine O'Hara) when she meets Spencer (Ashton Kutcher). Though he is vague about his private life and why he is on vacation alone in France, she is far too smitten with his rippling muscles to notice.

Months later the two are married and cut to 3 years later they remain blissfully in love and living in suburbia. The suburban tranquility of course cannot last because what we know and Jen doesn't is that Spencer was once a CIA agent. When his old boss (Martin Mull in an odd cameo) contacts him Spencer is quick to see trouble ahead.

What he hadn't counted on is finding his former boss dead and all of his neighbors, people he has known for a few years now trying to kill him. Jen too is quite surprised by all of this but unlike a normal human being who might have headed for the hills at the sight of so much danger, Jen is quick to leap into the fray and soon the couple is on the run from their killer neighbors.

There is one more twist that Jen and Spencer cannot see coming but we sure can. I won't spoil the not so surprising 'twist' but let's just say the foreshadowing by director Robert Luketic is less subtle than a trainwreck/plane crash where a plane crashes into two trains as the trains crash into one another.

Killers is a skill free exercise in formula filmmaking. Director Luketic and his cast range through the apt clichés of both action movies and romantic comedies and fail to either thrill or tickle the audience for a moment. It is hard to fathom that Robert Luketic was the director of the wonderful comedy Legally Blonde a decade ago as since that movie he has turned out one terrifically awful film after another with Killers as the spoiled cherry on top of a moldering dessert.

As for Ms. Heigl, Killers like The Ugly Truth focuses on her least attractive tendencies. Both film's fail to give her more than a sketch of a character and forced to improvise something with her talent, Ms. Heigl turns to shrill screeching and hyperventilating to convey her character.

To be fair to Ms. Heigl the character as given to her is a true bonehead. One might, if confronted by a husband who is attempting to kill his best friend in their suburban living room, call the police and not instead listen to her husband's call to retrieve a gun from their bedroom.

Logically, one might be more than a little distressed about a husband who has after three years of marriage revealed himself to be a paid assassin for the US government and possibly put concerns about a weeks old pregnancy aside in favor of seeking safe haven with the authorities. Instead, Ms. Heigl's character attends a Target Superstore to purchase a pregnancy test of every available title. If this scene sounds familiar, it should. Ms. Heigl played the same scene to more appropriate laughter in Knocked Up, a film she has subsequently disowned.  

Ms. Heigl’s Jen never acts appropriately, never reacts as a rational human being might to her situation. Ms. Heigl is at all times subject to the whims of the screenplay and never for a moment anything but a pawn pushed across the screen from one brain free set piece to the next.

Another, more adventurous actress might have found a beat to play that might make you forget that the plot is nonsense. Angelina Jolie made a wonderful camp farce of both Wanted and Mr. and Mrs. Smith using her sexuality as a comedic foil. Sandra Bullock played up her tomboy cuteness against the ludicrous backdrop of Speed.

Ms. Heigl’s reaction to the ridiculousness of Killers is to amp up the shrill factor, screeching each line through clenched teeth or a tight, forced smile. Few actresses have ever seemed as terribly uncomfortable on screen as Ms. Heigl does in Killers.

You've likely noticed that I have left Mr. Kutcher out of most of this review. The fact is he's not so horrible here. His character makes sense in the context of the film. He reacts appropriately to the situation before him and plays each beat sincerely. It makes his performance more passably forgettable than bad.

Ms. Heigl should strive to be forgettable in Killers. Sadly for her, Killers will likely linger long enough for the Razzies, those wonderful awards for the worst Hollywood has to offer year after year. This year the gracious Sandra Bullock accepted her Razzie for All About Steve in person the same weekend she won Best Actress for The Blind Side.

Fair to guess, Ms. Heigl won't be that lucky or gracious.