Movie Review See No Evil

See No Evil (2006) 

Directed by Gregory Dark 

Written by Dan Madigan

Starring Glenn 'Kane' Jacobs, Christina Vidal, Luke Pegler 

Release Date May 19th, 2006

Published May 20th, 2006

I have a confession to make. My name is Sean Patrick and I am a wrestling fan. Yes, every Monday night I clear the decks and watch Monday Night Raw and I love it. This is why I was more aware than most of the new horror film See No Evil. As a WWE insider, a fan who holds literal stock -one lone share of WWE stock- I was made aware early on that WWE intended to get into the movie biz and that its first venture was to be a low budget horror flick called Eye Scream Man starring WWE superstar Kane.

The title may have changed but the inspired idea of taking the WWE's premiere 7 foot tall 300 plus pound former psychotic inmate and turning him into a horror film bad guy remained. Now under the title See No Evil, with heavy promotion on WWE TV, Kane is on the big screen and while he looks the part of the terrifying, unstoppable killer, the film is disappointingly mundane horror garbage.

Jakob Goodknight (Kane) grew up under the thumb of a fundamentalist mother who kept him in a cage as a child and drilled into his head that all women except for her were dirty and evil and needed to be punished for their sins. No shock then when Jakob grows up to be a fearsome serial killer. Early on in his psycho career Jakob survives a run in with cops by taking the head off of a nameless rookie before taking a bullet from his veteran partner, not before taking the vets hand with his ax.

Williams was that cop's name and three years after losing his hand he has no idea whatever happened to Goodknight. Now working in a juvenile detention facility Williams leads a work detail of teenage offenders assigned to clean up an old hotel which is to be converted to a home for the homeless.

Bad luck for all involved that Jakob has taken up residence in the hotel and he doesn't like visitors. With the cannon fodder cast of hot body twentysomethings, playing teens, in place Jakob can run amok plucking out eyeballs, his favorite pastime that gets little to no explanation.

I'm told in interviews with Kane and other member of the See No Evil production team that each of Jakob's modes of murder has some kind of significance, irony or hidden meaning. In the hands of former porn director Gregory Dark however, any such meaning is lost in translation, or directorial incompetence to be less colloquial about it.

Director Dark and screenwriter Dan Madigan's idea of an ironic death is a bimbo blonde who ends up eating her cellphone and a PETA member who is eaten by wild dogs. Subtlety and deep meaning, not exactly the milieu of this filmmaking duo.

Kane cuts an intimidating figure onscreen at 7 foot 300 plus pounds but unfortunately director Gregory Dark too often brings Kane down to the size of his victims through his sheer incompetence in how to shoot a movie scene. His angles and lighting make Kane look smaller and more lumbering than he is. Also where Jason had that very frightening, kee kee hah hah hah sound effect to reveal his presence on screen , Kane is stuck with the buzzing of a fly which rather than striking fear of Jakob's presence, makes you wonder if the psycho needs a shower.

The less said about the rest of the films, the better. Each is merely a placeholder for violence. Watching Kane/Jakob pick them off one by one gives no one any fear for their passing or dark pleasure in the way they are disposed of. Not one of the kids in See No Evil earns sympathy or even becomes character enough for us to quietly root for their horrifying demise.

There is a good idea in turning the hulking, intimidating presence of Kane into a horror film villain. He has played a variation of that role on WWE Raw for years to great effect. Maybe they shouldn't have left that idea in the hands of the auteur behind such cinema classics as The Devil 'IN' Miss Jones 5 and, I kid you not, Hootermania.