Movie Review Secretariat

Secretariat (2010) 

Directed by Randall Wallace

Written by Mike Rich, Sheldon Turner

Starring Diane Lane, John Malkovich, Dylan Walsh, James Cromwell, Margo Martindale

Release Date October 8th, 2010

Published October 7th, 2010

“Secretariat” is a shockingly square movie, even by the standards of the modern family movie. There is nothing remotely cool or modestly subversive about “Secretariat,” even as the film is set in 1973 the time of the Vietnam War, the beginnings of the Women's movement and the end of the Nixon Administration.

It was a time, ironically enough, when movies like “Secretariat” were rendered irrelevant by a gang of drug fueled visionaries who today craft blockbusters and award winners and have inspired a new generation of less drug fueled but equally visionary creative types who would sooner adapt videogames to the big screen than look twice at something like Secretariat.

There is nothing wrong with the story of Secretariat, the true story of Penny Tweedy and her amazing super horse which won horse racing's Triple Crown while captivating the sports world. Rather, it's an issue of style and approach, a boring, conventional approach that is crafted to be comfortable, warm and never for a moment cause the audience to do any of that awkward thinking stuff that other better movies do.

No, it's better instead to lull them into a pleasant, popcorn sated stupor than remind them of the actual history of the time in which Secretariat became a needed distraction for a weary nation. Weary of what? The filmmakers would rather you didn't ask.  

Diane Lane stars in “Secretariat” as Penny Tweedy, formerly Penny Chenery, daughter of a famed stable owning family in Virginia. Penny's mother has passed away leaving behind her ailing father (Scott Glenn) and no one to run the family's stables. Returning to Virginia with her impatient husband Jack (Dylan Walsh) and their four cute, indiscernible children, Penny reunites with Miss Hamm (Margo Martindale), her father's loyal secretary, and Eddie Sweatt (Nelson Ellis), the family's long time stable hand.

The return to Virginia finds the family finances bleeding red ink. The only hope is a rather unusual one, a coin toss. Years earlier, Penny's father made a long standing deal with the world's richest man, Ogden Phipps (James Cromwell), their prized horses would breed together and a coin toss would decide which man got his choice of the prize offspring.

Penny may have left her horse knowledge behind when she ditched Virginia for family life in Denver years ago, but her instincts remain and she knows which horse she wants and she knows she wants to lose the coin toss to get it. The scene with Lane and Cromwell is cute and effective and nicely lulls the audience into the overall feel of “Secretariat” a good natured, entirely square movie that would be boring if it weren't so pleasantly clueless.

The key for scenes like the coin toss or the obligatory celebration montages or the obligatory everybody dance and wash the horse scene or the obligatory dramatic roadblock to success scene seems to be the ability of director Randall Wallace to set these scenes without a hint of self consciousness as if no one would notice they are watching a scene of two millionaires flipping coin over who gets a horse. To his astonishing credit, no one in the audience did seem to notice or care. It was all so gentle and pleasant.

There is nary a moment of discord or discomfort in “Secretariat” as the film side steps it's true life setting in the early 1970's by quietly having Penny's daughter Kate (Amanda Mischalka) act out a play of war protest in front of an audience that seemed as passive as the one watching “Secretariat.” It's easily the most pleasant and passive war protest ever brought to the big screen.

One should see “Secretariat” if only for the shots of passive hippies, the somehow non-dope smoking types whose only connection to being a hippie is a hippie uniform, watching and loving Secretariat right alongside the proletariat parents of the film's likely target audience. It's a serene, almost Leave it to Beaver-esque pastiche of what the era would have been like had Dad and the Beav gone into the documentary film business and left out all of the supposed unpleasantness of the time.

The average episode of The Brady Bunch offers a more subversive view of the early 1970's than does “Secretariat.”

Now, before you howl that this is a horse racing movie and not a documentary about the tumultuous year of 1973, I will point out that the film itself brings up Vietnam by having the daughter be a protester, thus opening the vein for my line of criticism of the films portrayal of this actual period in our shared American history.

For the howlers, let's get into the horse racing stuff; it's not bad. Director Wallace takes us into the starting gate and puts us right in the action as the big ol' horses make their sinewy, snorting way around the track. It can come as little surprise that the audience, lulled by the pleasant passivity of the characters and the story, would be compelled to cheer the action of the horse racing scenes.

What was a little surprising was the cheering at the end of each of the races in the film, save the Wood Memorial which Secretariat lost. (If one of you mentions spoiler alert I will come through this computer screen) Secretariat lost the Wood but bounced back to win the Triple Crown in a dominant fashion that would seem to rob the final hour of real tension. Again, I have to credit director Randall Wallace for the effective staging of the racing scenes; they are compelling and even moving, even Secretariat's 30 odd length victory at the Belmont sealing his triple crown.

The racing scenes stand at odds with the rest of “Secretariat” which is depressingly square. Critic Andrew O' Hehir of Salon.com alleges an honest to god, Christian, right wing ideological conspiracy as to why “Secretariat” so blithely ignores the radical elements of its era.  O'Hehir calls the film 'a creepy American myth' and he's not far off. There is what feels like a creepy intent to all of the boring pleasantness of “Secretariat.”

I cannot truly assign any agenda to “Secretariat” however, aside from that of Disney and its desire to make a profitable sports film. “Secretariat” is merely a sports movie directly from the mold of “Miracle” and “The Rookie” and like those films, bled of all life beyond their uplifting finishes and obstacles overcome, Secretariat is a boring, well crafted machine of a sports movie fashioned from the Disney factory floor.

These movies are made with the intent to offend no one and somehow entertain all. They are meant as all things to all audiences and no one can really complain aside from whiny film critics who decry anything that isn’t some challenging drama or quirky indie romance. Hey, wait a minute!

To be serious for a moment; someone at Disney clearly believes that movies can be made that will sell to every possible audience, from red state to blue state. The conventions of the sports movie provide a safe place to try to find that all encompassing audience and with a horse story you can even appeal to women. “Secretariat” even has a female protagonist, a mother of four, women, family audiences, sports fans and kids! Kids like horses and their parents who are tired of cartoons will be able to drag them to the horse movie. Throw in John Malkovich as a clown and you have a movie with the potential to please all.

Sure, all of this market sensitivity makes my soul hurt but Disney is a business not a movie company. One can only guess that if “Secretariat” somehow fails, they will move on to the next soul crunching market driven bit of saccharine sports movie. For now, at least “Secretariat” is pleasant and hey, who needs to think.