Movie Review: The Switch

The Switch (2010) 

Directed by Will Speck, Josh Gordon

Written by Allan Loeb

Starring Jennifer Aniston, Jason Bateman, Patrick Wilson, Jeff Goldblum 

Release Date August 20th, 2010

Published August 19th, 2010

There is chemistry between Jennifer Aniston and Jason Bateman despite what you see in the new movie The Switch. In a rare few scenes of this disposable formula comedy from the Hollywood factory floor Aniston radiates warmth and Bateman shows wit and the personalities that I'm sure they thought these characters had shines through.

These scenes are all too brief and surrounded by so much tripe that I cannot recommend you bother searching for the good moments, I can merely assure you those moments really are there. The Switch buries what good there is between the two leads beneath so much banal, humorless chatter that sifting the remains becomes a dumpster dive.

The Switch stars Bateman as sadsack stock trader Wally who is in love with his best friend Kassie (Aniston) though he doesn't yet know it. Kassie doesn't know it either but only through a massive level of cluelessness. Both are in their early 40's when Kassie announces she wants a baby and will be getting an artificial insemination.

Wally is opposed to this plan, not because his best friend is aiming to become a 40 something single mom but because he's in love with her but incapable of admitting it. Thus we arrive at the title plot; at a party where Kassie will be inseminated (is this really something people do?) Wally get wasted and stumbles on the sperm, plays with the sample cup and accidentally spills it. His solution? Give a new sample. These scenes are handled with the implied level of dignity, i.e none whatsoever for poor Jason Bateman, or poorer still, Diane Sawyer. Don't ask.

Cut to 7 years later, Kassie moved to Minnesota with her new baby but is now ready to return to New York. Wally is waiting and because he doesn't remember making the switch, he doesn't know the kid, Sebastian (Thomas Robinson), is his. Oh but he will find out and then tell Kassie and well you can figure out where all of this is going.

There is a talented ensemble rounding out the cast of The Switch including veterans Juliette Lewis and the wonderful Jeff Goldblum, but sadly all are stranded in a go nowhere script by Allen Loeb and the atonal direction of Josh Gordon and Will Speck. As the actors ache to bring something more to these characters they are shredded down to essences, Wally is morose and bumbling, Kassie is shrill and clueless and everyone else is rendered unimportant, more walking exposition than characters.

Scenes arrive and thud as the characters sketch the plot points and the scene ends without anything funny happening. The dialogue is witless and the direction strips out nuance in favor of hitting imaginary points along the lines of a map toward banal, middle of the road Hollywood romance.

The Switch is more concept than movie. Jeffrey Eugenides conceived the idea for his short story The Baster which is a thoughtful if slightly depressing short story published by the New Yorker in 1996. That story involved characters who were aware of their feelings, abortion and a deep history between the characters that Eugenides manages to communicate with an economy of words that would barely add up to 3 or 4 scenes in The Switch. 

Gone is any hint of honest back-story replaced with cluelessness that becomes not a running gag as maybe it should have been but is instead one of the artificial roadblocks used to pad this story out to feature film length. The other device is Patrick Wilson as Roland the cuckold in waiting who exists only to sustain the unlikely notion that Wally and Kassie won't end up together. 

I will leave you to discover what happened in Mr. Eugenides' far superior short story; you don't need a map or a spoiler alert to intuit where things are headed in The Switch. As with any romantic comedy it's not about the destination, we know what's expected and what we all want to happen in a rom-com. The key is crafting a journey for the audience that is smart, funny and diverting enough to make the inevitable payoff worth your time. The Switch fails miserably on this front by crafting a tedious, unfunny journey. 

It's a real shame because there is a moment when Jason Bateman is watching the kid, now 6 years old, and Jennifer Aniston walks in just watches Bateman and the kid. In this moment you can see the potential and when they finally look at one another you can sense the better movie that these two talented people could have made were they not saddled with the conventions of such an insipid and typical Hollywood formula.