Horror in the 90s Gremlins 2

Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990) 

Directed by Joe Dante 

Written by Charles Haas

Starring Zach Galligan, Phoebe Cates, John Glover, Robert Picardo, Christopher Lee 

Release Date June 15th, 1990 

Box Office $41.5 million dollars 

I'm convinced that the only cultural reputation that Gremlins 2: The New Batch has comes entirely from the cache earned from Key & Peele. The brilliant minds of Keegan Michael Key and Jordan Peele performed a sketch on their Comedy Central series in which Peele as a Hollywood Sequel Doctor, played by a flamboyant Jordan Peele, enters the writers room for Gremlins 2 and proceeds to take suggestions for wild ideas to add to the Gremlins 2 story. What he comes up with are actual characters from Gremlins 2 that are so outlandish and dumb that they seem to have been made up. It's a brilliant sketch but it sets a standard that the movie simply cannot match. 

As wild as this Hollywood Script Doctors ideas for Gremlins 2: The New Batch are, the movie never feels that wild or outrageous. Instead, it feels deeply disjointed, often desperate, and unfunny. Gremlins 2: The New Batch has the feel of a sequel that was thrust upon director Joe Dante who responded to the burden by trying to sabotage his own movie. Dante comes up with several bad ideas, executes them poorly, and delivered a final cut that I can only imagine left everyone mortified but unable to not release the movie. Trying to cull a plot description together seems like a fool's errand but here we are. 

Gremlins 2: The New Batch returns Zach Galligan as everyman Bill Pelzer. Billy is now working and living in New York City with his small town gal-pal, Kate, played by an also returning Phoebe Cates. Also having moved to New York City is Gizmo, the cutest of the Gremlins. How and why Gizmo is now in New York City is a plot contrivance. He's needed in New York for this dimwitted plot to unfold. A Trump like developer named Daniel Clamp (John Glover) is eager to buy the shop owned by Mr. Wing, a returning Keye Luke, so he can continue to reshape the New York skyline in his tacky image. 

When Mr. Wing dies, Clamp gets his wish and Gizmo is left homeless. By coincidence, Gizmo is found by a pair of twin scientists who work for Daniel Clamp's top scientist, played in utterly bizarre fashion by Christopher Lee. He's eager to experiment on Gizmo but a further series of coincidences, including Billy happening to work in this building and offhandedly hearing about the cute creature in an upstairs lab, leads to a Billy/Gizmo reunion. Naturally, things go off the rails pretty quickly as Gizmo gets wet from a malfunctioning water fountain and dozens of new Gremlins are born and wreck havoc. 

Not a single one of the new Gremlins, who use the chemicals in Christopher Lee's lab to genetically alter themselves to vary the species design, are funny. A Gremlin with Spider Legs is a pretty good horror visual but since Gremlins 2 is clumsily straddling the line between horror and family friendly, kid friendly, comedy, the horror elements are drearily watered down. That all of the Gremlins described in the Key & Peele sketch are indeed real provides a semblance of fun but that's coming from the absurdity of Key& Peele's comedy magic and nothing that the movie is doing. 

Read the full length review at Horror.Media 

Movie Review Haunted Mansion

Haunted Mansion (2023) 

Directed by Justin Simien 

Written by Katie Dippold 

Starring LaKeith Stanfield, Rosario Dawson, Tiffany Haddish, Owen Wilson, Danny Devito, Chase W. Dillon, Jared Leto, Jamie Lee Curtis 

Release Date July 28th, 2023 

Published July 31st, 2023 

There is a lovely idea at the heart of Haunted Mansion that gets lost among the muck of trying to make a wide appeal blockbuster family movie. At the core of Haunted Mansion, director Justin Simien, creator of the ingenious, Dear White People, appears fascinated by the concept of grief and the ways it manifests in negative ways for many people. Losing someone you love is a life altering event, it can lead to any number of negative manifestations if it is not dealt with and processed in a healthy fashion. It manifests in Haunted Mansion via LaLeith Stanfield's Ben, an astrophysicist who gave up everything after his young wife died. 

Stanfield is unquestionably an actor who can handle this kind of heavy material but the heavy nature of Haunted Mansion unfortunately drags on what is otherwise intended to be a summer blockbuster version of a Disney theme park ride. While Simien is working in the emotional space of Stanfield's grieving widower, the rest of the movie appears to be going for something broad, campy, scary and yet family friendly and the tonal dissonance is a big part of the overall failure of Haunted Mansion. By attempting to serve a number of ideas, the film ends up serving none of those ideas particularly well. 

Ben (Stanfield) was once a very successful and happy Astrophysicist shyly using his unique profession to hit on women. One of those women is Alyssa (Charity Jordan), a tour guide who leads haunted tours through New Orleans. Ben, being a man of science, doesn't believe in ghosts but he still falls hard for Alyssa and the two end up getting married at some point, we don't see that part. What we do see is that Alyssa is no longer with us, a mystery that will be unsatisfyingly resolved later in the film, and Ben is floundering. Having given up all aspects of his previous life, Ben now leads Alyssa's tours while drunk and being entirely uninterested in indulging and any notions of ghosts being real. 

Ben's trajectory is altered forever by the arrival of Father Kent (Owen Wilson). Kent knows Ben by reputation. He knows that Ben had, years earlier, invented a camera that could theoretically, take pictures of the dead. He has a job for Ben. A single mother, Gabbie (Rosario Dawson), has moved into a decrepit mansion on the outskirts of New Orleans. Gabbie, and her son, Travis (Chase W. Dillon), are also dealing with the fairly recent loss of Travis' father, a loss that neither mother or son has fully processed. The parallel of both Ben and Gabbie having lost someone is used as something of a shorthand to bring them together as love interests but the love story feels rushed and forced. 

That's the thing about Haunted Mansion, I am this far into this review and I haven't mentioned any ghosts. That's because none of the ghosts or scares in Haunted Mansion are very memorable. Jamie Lee Curtis is perhaps the most interesting of the spooks. She plays a dead psychic who was killed and her spirit was trapped inside of a crystal ball. The visual of Curtis's head in the crystal ball isn't bad but its not very elaborate. It's fine, like far too much of Haunted Mansion is fine, it's there, it exists, but it doesn't have much of anything interesting about it. 

The big bad of Haunted Mansion is the Hat Box ghost, played by Jared Leto. The Hat Box Ghost is a remarkably weak villain. The ghost's real name is Crump and the lame comparisons between Crump and Donald Trump are not stated out loud but are very clear. It's a lame non-joke, clearly intended but not well executed at all. It stands out as a bad idea because Leto's performance as Hatbox Ghost is half-hearted at best. The same can be said of the weak CGI look of the character which is scarier in a single drawing by a sketch artist in the movie than it ever is alive and moving around in Haunted Mansion. 

Incidentally, the Police sketch artist in Haunted Mansion is played by Hasan Minaj, a very funny man who is wasted in a nothing performance. Minaj is there to skeptically poke fun at Stanfield and Devito's claims about a ghost and he's offscreen in less than 3 minutes. And, Minaj isn't the biggest waste of talent in Haunted Mansion. Dan Levy and Winona Ryder both make appearances in Haunted Mansion and you are left to wonder if they owed someone a favor and that favor was being in this movie. Levy, one of the most dynamic comic personalities working today gets less than 2 minutes of screentime and his outfit is funnier than anything his character does. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media

Classic Movie Review Robin Hood Men in Tights

Robin Hood Men in Tights (1993) 

Directed by Mel Brooks 

Written by Mel Brooks, Evan Chandler, J. David Shapiro 

Starring Cary Elwes, Amy Yasbeck, Mel Brooks, Richard Lewis, Roger Rees, Isaac Hayes 

Release Date July 28th, 1993 

Published July 25th, 2023 

Mel Brooks has a generational impact. For many, their Mel Brooks movie experience began with The Producers and proceeded to Young Frankenstein and Blazing Saddles. My Mel Brooks experience, due to having been born late in the Gen-X generation, was a little different. My Mel Brooks movies were Spaceballs and Robin Hood Men in Tights. The earlier Mel Brooks classics came to me later. Thus, I think I hold both Spaceballs and Robin Hood Men in Tights in high regard because I simply saw them and fell in love with them first. 

This doesn't mean that I believe that Spaceballs and Robin Hood Men in Tights are better than the Brooks 1970s movies. It just means that I have a much softer spot for Brooks 80s period, one that many older Brooks fans do not share. Older fans of Mel Brooks have often stated that Brooks became a bit to reliant on referring to his past glory in the 80s and early 90s. They aren't entirely wrong. Both Spaceballs and Robin Hood Men in Tights rely heavily on referring to gags and characters that Brooks invented in his glorious 60s and 70s peak. 

That said, I still love Robin Hood Men in Tights and looking back on it 30 years after it was released, I was surprised to find that my love for the film is as strong as ever. Brooks' ingenious satire of Kevin Costner's dreary Robin Hood adaptation is also a loving homage to the original telling of Robin Hood on the big screen, that undertaken by the legendary Errol Flynn in the 1930s. Weaving nods to both of those Robin Hood stories, amid references to his own legendary canon, Mel Brooks created Robin Hood Men in Tights, a cocksure, headstrong comedy that stands on its own. Or was that the other way around? 

The brilliance of Mel Brooks is on display immediately in Robin Hood Men in Tights. Within moments of his credits sequence bursting on the screen with heroic music and the visual of fiery arrows being fired into the distance, Brooks begins breaking the fourth wall. The credits arrows have hit a nearby village, lighting the whole thing on fire as residents complain that this happens every time someone makes a Robin Hood movie. The very funny meta gag ends with the extras turning to the camera to tell Mel Brooks to leave them alone. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media

Classic Movie Review Dr. Strangelove

Dr. Strangelove (1964) 

Directed by Stanley Kubrick 

Written by Terry Southern, Peter George, Stanley Kubrick 

Starring Peter Sellers, George C. Scott, Sterling Hayden, Keenan Wynn, Slim Pickens 

Release Date January 29th, 1964 

Published July 24th, 2023 

Dr. Strangelove is very much a movie of its time. When it was released in 1964 it was a boiling mad, raging cauldron of immediate satire of world events currently in motion. Imagine something like Oliver Stone's W, w a film made and released while George W. Bush was still President, and you can get the sense of how timely Dr. Strangelove was in 1964. It's also far better than W which was a desperately bland attempted polemic. There was nothing bland about Dr. Strangelove in 1964. The film was bitter and biting, savaging the powerful in a fashion that genuinely set the leaders of the day on edge. 

Powerful leaders in military and government would have preferred that audiences in 1964 not know just how desperately unsafe our approach to nuclear weapons was at the time. They wanted us to be reassured that their leaders were well prepared, thoughtful, and of sound judgment. The reality, of course, was that the people in charge of our nuclear program were human beings just as potentially flawed and failing as anyone else. Dr. Strangelove takes the idea of egotistical, deeply flawed individuals in charge of world destroying technology to its most ugly and terrifying yet logical conclusion. 

The thought experiment was thus: What if one of our military leaders happened to come unglued and decided to end the world? What would it take to stop this military leader from causing the end of the world? Was it possible for one crazed lunatic in our leadership to end the world? The answer was a very uneasy, yes. The fact of the matter, though we were never blown up by nuclear weapons during the Cold War, it was always a possibility. All it took was a couple of bad breaks and one determined nut to bring about a global catastrophe. 

Dr. Strangelove exposes the absurdity of this idea, putting the idea in your head and forcing you to understand the stakes of a Cold War. Cold War has become synonymous with a period of time from Post World War 2 through the fall of the USSR in the early 1990s. But the real definition of a Cold War was simply a war that didn't involve fighting battles with troops and guns. It was a war of behind the scenes maneuvering and global chess. It was a balancing of big egos, bitter words and unrelenting suspicion. The only thing keeping us all alive was the desire among our leaders not to die. Had they come up with a solution that they could have comfortably survived, they might not have been so good at holding back the nukes. 

We look back on it now with a sort of wistful sigh of relief, as if we aren't still under threat of Nuclear annihilation. But, the fact is, Dr. Strangelove is actually still entirely relevant. Nuclear détente is still a thing. We still have a standing agreement with other countries capable of having nuclear weapons that we don't destroy each other but we all still could destroy each other. We just don't talk about nuclear weapons anymore aside from vague observations during Presidential election years when someone will allude to not wanting so and so to have the nuclear launch codes. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media

Movie Review Barbie

Barbie (2023)

Directed by Greta Gerwig 

Written by Noah Baumbach, Greta Gerwig 

Starring Margot Robbie, Helen Mirren, Ryan Gosling, Rhea Perlman, Simu Liu, Will Ferrell, America Ferrara 

Release Date July 21st, 2023 

Published July 23rd 2023 

Barbie is some of the most fun that I have had at the movies in 2023. The comedy is rich and thorny and the attitude is all sparkles and pink. It's lively, energetic and innovatively presented by one of our best working storytellers today, Greta Gerwig. I was highly skeptical and a bit perturbed that one of the best directors working today had turned their attention to directing a movie about Barbie. I should not have been. I should have just trusted that Greta Gerwig knew exactly what she was doing. The product of this highly commercial move into blockbuster product placement is a wildly funny meta-comedy about existence, purpose, and the desire to understand oneself. 

If any actress was going to be the right choice to deconstruct and uphold the legend of Barbie, it was Margot Robbie. She's ideal Barbie, an uber-talented, multi-hyphenate, who happens to look like a Barbie doll come to life. She's also among our most talented and versatile actors today so, of course, her take on Barbie is way more complex than anything you are anticipating. And it's that very complexity that brings the biggest laughs as invasive thoughts begin to consume Robbie's 'Stereotypical Barbie,' the version of Barbie you imagine when you think of Barbie Dolls. 

Of course, there have been dozens of different Barbies over the years. Barbies of different ethnicities, body types, and professions as vast and wide as Astronaut, Supreme Court Justice, and President Barbie. Each Barbie is played by a murderer's row of the best supporting players working today including Issa Rae, Hari Neff, Alexandra Shipp, Emma Mackey and Sharon Rooney. All of the Barbie's of this unique movie universe live in Barbieland, a magical place adjacent to the real world where Mattel, headed up by Will Ferrell, keeps pumping out market tested new versions of Barbie, as well as several Ken's. 

Oh, yeah, almost forgot about Ken. Ken is played by Ryan Gosling in a scene-stealing performance. He's stereotypical Ken and thus fated to love Barbie. But what happens if she doesn't love him? Meanwhile, several dozen other Ken's follow the lead of either stereotypical Ken or his nemesis, Ken 2 (Simu Liu). Both appear to be vying for Barbie's attention, much to Ken's dismay. Oh, and Alan (Michael Cera), is kicking around somewhere in the background. Alan is a long-discontinued pal of Ken and Barbie, a real Barbie character variation. The jokes about Alan are all hits throughout Barbie, even as Michael Cera portrays him quite sympathetically. 

Click here for my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review Oppenheimer

Oppenheimer (2023) 

Directed by Christopher Nolan 

Written by Christopher Nolan 

Starring Robert Downey Jr, Cillian Murphy, Emily Blunt, Matt Damon, Florence Pugh, Josh Hartnett 

Release Date July 21st, 2023 

Published July 21st, 2023 

Oppenheimer is the kind of epic filmmaking that we've not seen in years. It's expansive, expensive, and visionary work that encompasses American history within a singular story. The story of J. Robert Oppenheimer is one of contradiction and controversy. Oppenheimer gave the humanity the ability to destroy itself and placed that power in the hands of egomaniacal world leaders. Then he spent his life trying to convince people to use this power responsibly. He was somewhat successful, we haven't been incinerated by Oppenheimer's creation. But that that is cold comfort, Oppenheimer's creation still hangs like the sword of Damocles over all of our heads, even as we all do our best to ignore it. 

The expansive story of J. Robert Oppenheimer exists in movie form in three separate threads. In the first thread, Lewis Strauss (Robert Downey Jr) is facing a Congressional hearing over his appointment to a position in President Eisenhower's cabinet. Though a top aid to the President, played by Alden Ehrenreich, assures him his approval is a near guarantee, Strauss is concerned that his past interactions with J. Robert Oppenheimer, a former friend and subordinate, will cost him his position. As this story plays out there were many twists and turns in the relationship between Oppenheimer and Strauss and that we only remember one of them historically says a lot. 

In the second thread, we see J. Robert Oppenheimer rising through the academic ranks in the world of physics before ending up at Berkley. There he forms a friendship and partnership with Ernest Lawrence (Josh Hartnett), the man who would take Oppenheimer's theory and turn it into a reality. Both men are brilliant and one doesn't succeed without the other, even as Oppenheimer is the one who goes on to infamy as the man who founded Los Alamos and led the charge to create the bomb. Nevertheless, without Lawrence, Oppenheimer may not have been sought to lead Los Alamos, it was Lawrence who joined The Manhattan Project first. 

The third thread finds Oppenheimer, known by colleagues as Oppy, though that always feels far to whimsical for a man this serious, takes charge of Los Alamos, essentially a town founded with the specific goal of uniting America's best scientists in one place in order to build the bomb. Here, Oppenheimer and General Leslie Groves work as leaders and adversaries in the 2 billion dollar effort to beat the Nazis and then the Russians to the development of a weapon of mass destruction. The point of the Manhattan Project was beating the Nazis but the war in Europe is won before the bomb is built. 

This leads to a number of ethical debates about whether the the bomb still needs to be built. Oppenheimer here is shown as ineffectual in trying to make the case against developing the bomb. At a certain point, he just wanted to know if it could be done and this ambition allowed him to passively be convinced that dropping the bomb in Japan was a necessary evil intended to end the war in the Pacific and show Russia the full force of the American military. Oppenheimer was of two minds, understanding the bomb as a deterrent to future wars while also worrying that developing the bomb would cause a dangerous and divisive arms race. 

Simmering in the background is Oppenheimer's personal life which is divided between two women, among several he may have carried on relationships with. Oppenheimer's first love was communist author and psychiatrist, Jean Tatlock (Florence Pugh). She tries to recruit Oppenheimer to communism but finding him noncommittal to the cause, she settles for a tumultuous affair with Oppenheimer that unfortunately collides with Oppenheimer's relationship with the woman who would become his wife and mother of his children, Kitty Oppenheimer (Emily Blunt). 

These two women reveal different aspects of Oppenheimer, aspects that cut to the core of the human being behind the pragmatic scientist turned unlikely patriot. From Jean Tatlock we learn about Oppenheimer's approach to politics but also to passion and how emotion can collide with his dedication to reason and education. Through Kitty we see the conflicted Oppenheimer, the vulnerable, awkward, self-effacing man behind the confident veneer of a world famous scientist. In the performances of these three actors we see this incredibly tense and passionate attempt to get Oppenheimer to open up and confront himself and his creation and we watch Murphy do everything he can to maintain composure in the face of world altering history on a very human scale. 

Click here for my full length review at Geeks.Media

Classic Movie Review Sleepaway Camp 2 & 3

Sleepaway Camp 2: Unhappy Campers (1988) and Sleepaway Camp 3: Teenage Wasteland (1989) 

Directed by Michael A. Simpson 

Written by Fritz Gordon 

Starring Pamela Springsteen 

Release Date August 26th, 1988 and August 13th 1989 

Published July 19th, 2023 

I notably did not care for 1983's Sleepaway Camp when I watched it recently and said so, loudly, in a review, linked here. I found the film unpleasant, awkwardly crafted, and acted with all of the energy and life of your average commercial for a local funeral home. There are few if any redeeming qualities to the original Sleepaway Camp and if it didn't have it's shock ending, the reveal of Angela being a teenage boy who'd been abused into playing the role of a shy teenage girl, Sleepaway Camp would have ended up on the ash heap of horror history. 

That schlocky, exploitative and gross ending appealed to the low tastes of many more forgiving slasher fans and thus, we still talk about Sleepaway Camp 40 years after it was released. I guess I could also credit the film for the bizarrely watchable, high camp performance of Desiree Gould as Angela's wildly over the top Aunt and abuser, but that's a very minor bit of enjoyment amid the misery that is Sleepaway Camp. There again though, I must pause to offer one more positive regarding Sleepaway Camp; it gave us Sleepaway Camp 2 and 3 and the glorious performance of the sadly forgotten, Pamela Springsteen. 

Yes, Bruce Springsteen's little sister, Pamela, starred in Sleepaway Camp 2 & 3, taking over the role of Angela from young Felissa Rose. It's a major upgrade. Springsteen's chipper slasher killer is a dark comic delight. With her big toothy grin and unhinged dedication to the goodness of going to camp, Springsteen's Angela is a complete refresh of the summer camp horror movie. Springsteen's take on the character is absolutely delightful, a bizarre combination of blood soaked violence and the eager enthusiasm of the ultimate apple polishing, teacher's pet. 

The story of Sleepaway Camp 2 is incredibly basic. A new camp has opened not far from the former Camp Arawak and the campers and counselors are eager to share the legend of Angela/Peter and her bloody rampage. Just as a new group is sharing Angela's story, Angela just shows up and immediately sets about punishing those that fail to live up to her standard as a happy camper. There is no attempt to hide Angela's villainy from us while the cluelessness of the campers is another fun bit of either intentional meta-comedy or poignant bad movie acting. 

The film rides the line between knowing and too knowing incredibly well, especially in Springsteen's performance. Springsteen plays every scene with the same chipper dedication and her wild-eyed nuttiness is the key to taking throwaway horror cliches and refreshing them with new, for the late 1980s, energy. We'd simply never seen a performance quite like that of Pamela Springsteen's smiling, wacky, comic energy take on a horror villain. It felt fresh and new and it still stands out all these years later. I find her to be completely hilarious and it appears to be entirely intentional while still maintaining a level of gore that befits the genre. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media 

Classic Movie Review Rookie of the Year

Rookie of the Year (1993) 

Directed by Daniel Stern 

Written by Sam Harper 

Starring Thomas Ian Nicholas, Gary Busey, Amy Morton 

Release Date July 7th 1993

Published July 17th, 2023 

As a kid, the idea of a movie featuring my Chicago Cubs was golden. I loved it. I was incredibly happy to throw down money to watch a movie featuring Wrigley Field and a hint of the magic of the Major League Baseball that I was obsessed with. Rookie of the Year existed in a pantheon of movies like Back to the Future 3 and Taking Care of Business that made a joke of having my lovably losing Cubbies winning the World Series, something the team hadn't done since 1908. For a time, the Cubs were a go-to reference for anyone wanting to reference long term losing or a poignant dedication to thankless endeavor. 

Rookie of the Year however, was a little different. The earnestness of this family comedy had the Cubs winning the World Series not as an ironic joke but as a genuine moment of unexpected triumph. It's about the ultimate underdogs overcoming the odds to do the impossible in a way that was inspiring and not meant to mock, even as it takes an over-powered kid pitcher to make it happen. Rookie of the Year's nostalgic appeal has lingered for me for 30 years simply because of the fact that it wasn't made with the intent of mocking the idea that my favorite team might actually win. 

It can be hard to wipe the nostalgia out of your eyes and see something for what it really is. Sadly, for the Everyone's a Critic 1993 Podcast, I forced myself to do just that and what I found is that Rookie of the Year is as obnoxious and insufferable as any movie in the last 30 years. It gets a break because it has incredibly low ambitions, being a movie for very small children, but watching it as an adult was a miserable experience nonetheless. The charm of Rookie of the Year has, for me, completely worn off and curdled into a spoiled bit of nostalgia that I would very much like to forget. 

Rookie of the Year stars toothy 12 year old Thomas Ian Nicholas, future star of the American Pie franchise. Here, Nicholas plays Henry Rowengartner a baseball loving nerd who lacks natural athletic gifts. This is despite the word of his mother who claims that Henry's dad was a ballplayer. Sadly, Henry's Dad left years ago and is barely a memory. Now, Mom is dating a weasel named Jack (Bruce Altman). We know he's a weasel because of his shirts, his unearned confidence, and his stupid car and haircut. 

The plot of Rookie of the Year begins when Henry suffers a broken shoulder. The break heals oddly and leaves Henry's tendons super tight. Soon Henry is throwing an incredible 100 mile per hour fastball. When he shows off his arm at a Chicago Cubs game by throwing a ball from the bleachers to home plate in record time, Henry catches the eye of the Cubs duplicitous VP Larry "Fish" Fisher. Fish tracks Henry down and cuts a deal with Jack to make Henry the newest star of the Chicago Cubs. This comes over much consternation from Henry's mom, and much to the excitement of Henry's best friends, George (Patrick Lebeque) and Clark (Patrick Hy Gorman). 

Less excited about this than anyone is the Cubs legendary pitching star Chet "Rocket" Steadman. He thinks Henry is a sideshow attraction and suspects that this publicity stunt isn't good for anything other than the Cubs' bottom line. Nevertheless, Chet will have to get on board as his manager assigns Chet to try and teach Henry how to control his 100 mile per hour fastball. Naturally, the standoffish Chet will slowly come around as a mentor for Henry and emerges as a love interest for Henry's mom. 

Read my full length review at Geeks.Media

Classic Movie Review Dirty Dancing

Dirty Dancing (1987)

Directed by Emile Ardolino 

Written by Eleanor Bergstein

Starring Patrick Swayze, Jennifer Grey, Jerry Orbach, Kelly Bishop 

Release Date August 25th, 1987 

“It’s nothing, Marjorie, go back to sleep.”

As I watched Dirty Dancing for the first time in several years, this seemingly throwaway line from Jerry Orbach to Kelly Bishop, as the parents of Jennifer Grey’s Frances “Baby” Houseman, struck me. Orbach's Jake, a wealthy doctor, has just returned to his bungalow at this Catskills Hotel after having given treatment to Cynthia Rhodes’ Penny who has just undergone what at the time was referred to as a back-alley abortion. This was after she’d been knocked up by Robbie, a selfish snob doing time to raise money he doesn’t need for his Ivy League education.

The line struck me because of the way in which it spoke volumes in just six words. Here was past and future colliding; generational values only beginning to be challenged and two symbols of the supposed Greatest Generation, one in denial urging the other two go back to sleep and pretend time isn’t passing them and their values by. Seven years after when Dirty Dancing is set, Roe v. Wade would give women their first victory in reclaiming their bodies and their decisions from the white male patriarchy.

I realize that a review of Dirty Dancing is not the most likely place for a discussion of issues like abortion but that’s what makes this seeming trifle of 80s nostalgia so powerful, in of all places, the Reagan Era, when it seemed as if the Eisenhower, 50s family values crowd was making comeback after having defeated the hippies while getting millions of people killed to reclaim their supposed family values, here is Dirty Dancing, a musical with this innocent, almost Disney-esque sheen to it, to remind us what so many people had fought and died for. Change.

This theme of how the times they are a changing plays as the Greek Chorus of Dirty Dancing, always popping up in the background, playing peek-a-boo behind the graceful coming of age love story between Jennifer Grey and Patrick Swayze’s electrifying Johnny Castle, a man who looks like he just walked off the poster of some bad seed, Hayes Code era, motorcycle picture. Keeping with the theme, Baby is the idealistic innocent swept up in the change that people like Johnny are busy bringing about.

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media

Classic Movie Review The Killers (1964)

The Killers (1964) 

Directed by Don Siegel 

Written by Gene L. Coon 

Starring Lee Marvin, John Cassavetes, Angie Dickinson, Ronald Reagan 

Release Date July 7th, 1964 

Published July 14th, 2023 

1964's The Killers shifts away from Ernest Hemingway's source material while maintaining a little of the framing device used in the 1946 version of The Killers from director Robert Siodmak. Director Don Siegel's biggest change however, came from beefing up the role of the titular Killers. Where Siodmak sidelines the killers after they've served their purpose, killing Burt Lancaster's Swede, Siodmak hired Lee Marvin and Clu Gulager to bring attention to these killers who also take on the role of the killers but also the role of the investigators, the role played by Edmond O'Brien in 1946. 

That's not the only change to the story of The Killers. Don Siegel's vision of The Killers has a new protagonist as well. Johnny North (John Cassavetes) is a race car driver who partially loses his sight following a racing accident. Desperate for work, he's working demolition derby's under a fake name when his former lover, Sheila Farr (Angie Dickinson), approaches him with an offer. Sheila's new lover, a gangster named Jack Browning (Ronald Reagan, yes THAT Ronald Reagan), needs a getaway driver for a heist he's pulling with a small crew. 

We know that Johnny agrees because by the time we see the heist coming together, in the modern timeline, Johnny is dead. While working as a shop teacher at a school for the blind, Johnny is approached by Charlie (Lee Marvin) and Lee (Clu Gulager), who kill him where he stands. Johnny seems to hardly react to his own death and his resignation in the face of life threatening danger and eventual death, haunts Charlie. Charlie becomes obsessed with knowing why Johnny was so willing to die at his hands? 

From here, Charlie, and a reluctant but loyal Lee, begin working backwards through the life of Johnny North to uncover Johnny's motivation while also, perhaps, seeking the whereabouts of the treasure that seemingly caused someone to hire Charlie and Lee to kill him. First on the interrogation list is Johnny's former partner and mechanic, played by Claude Akins in a haunting and soulful performance. Akins explains Johnny's relationship with Sheila and how he warned Johnny about her duplicitousness only to end up losing his friendship and his business partner. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Classic Movie Review Sleepaway Camp

Sleepaway Camp (1983) 

Directed by Robert Hiltzik 

Written by Robert Hiltzik 

Starring Felissa Rose, Mike Kellin, Paul DeAngelo, Jonathan Tiersten 

Release Date November 18th, 1983 

Published July 16th, 2023 

When I first saw Sleepaway Camp, some time in my early 20s, I thought it was a goofy, silly, fun-bad horror movie. Now, in my 40s, the joke has worn thin. Instead of enjoying the terrible acting, the odd choice to show a large portion of a camp baseball game, and Felissa Rose's bizarre performance, all feel like a massive waste of my time. Where I once laughed at the outrageous gory death scenes and THAT twist reveal at the end, I am no longer enjoying myself. Is it maturity or a general grumpiness that has set in? I can't be sure. One thing that I am sure of however is, I now have a Sleepaway Camp box set DVD for sale. 

Sleepaway Camp is a slasher film set at a summer camp in the early 1980s. Angela (Felissa Rose) is being forced to attend by her bizarre Aunt Martha (Desiree Gould). Thankfully, Angela has her cousin, Ricky (Jonathan Tiersten), who threatens to fight anyone who gives Angela a hard time. That, at least, keeps the boys in line but it doesn't stop Ricky's camp crush, Judy (Karen Fields), from mocking Angela, with her camp counselor pal Meg (Katherine Kamhi), always at her side. These two-mock poor, silent and shy Angela at every turn. 

But they may not be the biggest threat Angela faces at camp. Not long after arriving, the camp cook, a dirty, crusty looking creep, sets his sights on Angela. Trapping her in the walk-in cooler, the threat to Angela is very real. Thankfully, Ricky arrives just in time to make the save. Just as fortuitously for future victims of this creep, he's soon dispatched by an unseen killer. In a scene that defies basic logic and physics, the creep nearly ends up being dumped in a pot of boiling water. Instead of falling in the far too tall pot, he falls and drags the boiling pot onto himself, leaving massive, eventually deadly, burns. 

This is the first of what will be several dead bodies in Sleepaway Camp, each a gruesome but also logic defying death. All of this leading up to a nonsensical reveal that is shockingly graphic, considering the circumstances, but not well thought out or presented in a way that makes much sense. Spoiler alert, Angela is a boy. Her crazy Aunt Martha adopted Angela after his sister and father were killed in a boating accident in 1978. In the five years since that day, Martha has forced Angela to live as a boy, even fooling her own son into believing that Angela is his female cousin. 

The murders are supposed to be the result of a growing sense of rage over his/her identity, his/her declining mental state, and the people who have mistreated and bullied Angela since she arrived at the camp. But the film is so oddly desperate to hide its big twist that it includes murders of numerous people who have nothing to do with bullying Angela. I know that logic isn't welcome in a movie this broad, silly, and low budget, but Angela's motivations aren't strong enough to sustain the narrative. What should be a cathartic rage is too often presented with the aim of creating a red-herring that never emerges. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media

Horror in the 90s Troll 2

Troll 2 (1990)

Directed by Claudio Fragasso

Written by Claudio Fragasso, Rossella Drudi 

Starring George Hardy, Michael Stephenson, Connie McFarland 

Release Date October 12th 1990 

Box Office Gross 0 

"It's a ferocious analysis of today's society" Rossella Drudi on her script for Troll 2 

That's a real quote from someone who co-wrote the script for 1990's Troll 2. For those aware of the reputation of Troll 2, it's hard not to assume that Drudi is making a joke. I assure you, she is not. The quote comes directly from Drudi in the amazing documentary, Best Worst Movie, a documentary about the rebirth of Troll 2 as a so bad it's good cult classic. Drudi, in a tone that betrays irritation at having to defend her work, actually says, with some conviction, how she views Troll 2. 

Where do we begin with the mess that is Troll 2. From a personal perspective, I have been aware of Troll 2 for years without ever taking the time to actually watch it. I've watched numerous other critics poke hilarious fun at Troll 2 on YouTube and that's really been all the Troll 2 I have ever needed. Troll 2 is far more fun if you watch it with a group of like-minded friends or via the perspective of a very funny YouTube critic who can deliver the gist of the movie in a tight 15 to 20 minute package. 

So, despite feeling as if I have seen Troll 2 via these critics, the words of friends in the bad movie community, and the remarkable documentary, Best Worst Movie, directed by the film's star, Michael Stephenson, this watch, for this project, is actually the first time that I have seen Troll 2 in its entirety. What have I learned? It's about as crazy and deeply misguided as I thought it was. Indeed, dear reader, unless you are going to a Troll 2 party, you never need to actually see Troll 2, everything you already know about it is more than enough. 

Troll 2 follows a family that is engaging a summer home exchange. They are going to stay on a farm in a small Utah town while a family from that town will stay in their home in the 'big city.' The craziness kicks off right away as our protagonist, 10 year old Joshua (Michael Stephenson) is being read a story about evil, human consuming Goblins who roam the forest. The man reading the story is Joshua's grandfather, Seth (Robert Ormsby), a man who happens to be dead. 

We learn this from some of the clumsiest, clunky exposition possible. The poor amateur actors of Troll 2 are a sincere lot but they are fully defeated by a script translated from Italian by a tyrant who was, according to Best Worst Movie, eager to tell his American actors that he knew the way Americans talk better than they did. Claudio Fragasso's comically misguided dedication to preserving the bizarre, though incredibly quotable dialogue, leads to these amateur actors having to try and perform while fighting the very script they are supposed to be performing. 

Director Claudio Fragosso directs Troll 2 as if he were attempting to shame America by presenting Americans as viewed through the lens of the rest of the world. In Fragosso's world, Americans are grotesque weirdoes who engage in bizarre behaviors like Vegetarianism, and engage in a dystopia via a rigid set of expectations that when not met, can lead to murderous chaos. Americans are both the monsters and the victims in Troll 2, so the intentions of Fragosso are more than a bit muddled, but, yeah, that is apparently Fragosso's intention. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media

Movie Review Mission Impossible Dead Reckoning Part 1

Mission Impossible Dead Reckoning Part 1 (2023) 

Directed by Christopher McQuarrie 

Written by Christopher McQuarrie, Erik Jendresen 

Starring Tom Cruise, Hayley Atwell, Simon Pegg, Ving Rhames, Rebecca Ferguson, Esai Morales, Cary Elwes, Vanessa Kirby, Pom Klementieff, Shea Whigham, Henry Czerny 

Release Date July 12th, 2023 

Published July 13th, 2023 

I'd never heard the term Dead Reckoning before. In the opening minutes of the new Mission Impossible franchise entry, titled Mission Impossible Dead Reckoning Part 1, they explain the term in the most efficient fashion and it dawns on you just what a perfect title this is for this adventure. It's a little thing, but I absolutely love that level of attention to detail and I appreciated that the movie gave us this information not with a windy info dump but with an offhand comment that explains the context of the term. On a colloquial level, it very simply means to navigate based on limited information on your own location. 

That's a perfect metaphor for where the Impossible Mission Force, headed up by Tom Cruise's super-spy, Ethan Hunt, find themselves. They are navigating a world saving adventure plot with very little knowledge or where they are going next. Every little twist and turn of the plot, every development surrounding the McGuffin, is delivered with precision and in a way that only gives us and these wonderful characters, just enough info to take us the next step. That the McGuffin happens to be a literal Key is quite a fun and clever detail that, again, I absolutely love. 

Mission Impossible Dead Reckoning opens on a Russian Submarine navigating back to Russia after a very successful mission. This mission involved fooling the entire world's worth of submarines and military intelligence. The sub commander explains that his new sub was able to get within mere meters of the most advanced submarines and military ports in the world, completely undetected. It's a game changing piece of technology that would give Russia a grave advantage in any world conflict. I say that it would, if this sub didn't soon wind up at the bottom of the ocean. 

How it got there is the world altering mystery at the heart of Mission Impossible Dead Reckoning Part 1. Ethan Hunt has been given the mission of recovering to halves of a very special key. It's a key that unlocks control of a world altering A.I that may itself be the villain of this movie. With his newly reunited team, including Rebecca Ferguson as Ilsa, Simon Pegg as Benji, and Ving Rhames as Luther, Cruise's Ethan Hunt must recover a key but he doesn't know what this key unlocks or where the lock actually is. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review Talk to Me

Talk to Me (2023) 

Directed by Danny Phillipou, Michael Phillipou

Written by Danny Phillipou, Bill Hinzman 

Starring Sophie Wilde, Alexandra Jensen, Joe Bird, Miranda Otto, Otis Dhanji, Zoe Terakes 

Release Date July 27th, 2023 

Published July 12th, 2023 

Talk to Me is a fresh take on the teen horror genre. It's filled with clever, terrifying ideas, and it features a lead performance that is haunting and brilliant. We've been subjected to a lot of bad teen horror movies, movies overflowing with familiar tropes and irritating, repetitive jump scares. Talk to Me has familiar elements but it is elevated via stylish direction, and the precise deployment of violence. The film has jump scares but the pacing is measured to a specific degree so that when the violence ramps up, in one very specific, and completely terrifying scene, it has more impact than if we'd been subjected to repeated violence throughout. 

Talk to Me stars the absolutely incredible Sophie Wilde as Mia. Mia has recently lost her mother to what may have been a suicide, though she is convinced it was an accidental overdose. As happens when such a traumatic event occurs in a family, her mother's death has estranged her from her father, Max (Marcus Johnson), who makes attempts to reach her throughout the movie as the actual plot is unfolding and engulfing Mia's life.

Thankfully, though she is distant from her father, Mia is welcomed into the home of her best friend, Jade (Alexandra Jensen), where she is treated like an extra sibling to Jade's brother, Riley (Joe Bird), and another daughter to Jade's mom, Sue (Miranda Otto). The level of familiarity and comfort in this family dynamic is the foundation for what comes next, the horrific fracturing of this family unit via the horrors that come from, frankly speaking, Mia's poor choices. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media 

Movie Review The Firm

The Firm (1993) 

Directed by Sydney Pollack 

Written by David Rabe, Robert Towne, David Rayfiel 

Starring Tom Cruise, Jeanne Tripplehorn, Gene Hackman, Hal Holbrook, Wilfred Brimley, Holly Hunter, David Straithairn, Ed Harris

Release Date June 30th, 1993 

Published July 10th, 2023 

John Grisham was a phenomenon in 1993. He owned the bestseller lists with the rapid fire releases of his easy, breezy legal thrillers. Each story bubbled with melodramatic twists and turns that you legitimately did not want to put down. For a time, Grisham's thrillers were met with the kind of frenzy that has only since been matched by the likes of Dan Brown, Stephanie Meyer, and She Who Shall Not Be Named. In 1993 alone two Grisham novels were adapted into blockbuster movies. 

While we have to wait until December for the joyous pleasure of The Pelican Brief, we first have The Firm, a potboiler of a legal drama surrounding the tumultuous tenure of a young lawyer and his job at a deeply corrupt law firm in Memphis, Tennessee. It's remarkable how easily Grisham's pulpy legalese translates to film without missing a beat. Grisham's style is remarkably detailed and yet wildly cinematic with easy to follow twists and turns that rarely get caught up in things that cannot be easily translated to another medium. It's no surprise that the author designed his thrillers with selling the movie rights in the back of his mind. 

The Firm takes on an extra dimension on the big screen as it is overseen by a masterful director. By this point, Sydney Pollack was winding down his legendary career but when he had good material he could be coaxed back behind the camera and we were lucky to have him class up the pulpy prose of Grisham, dressing it up with one of the most over-qualified casts in movie history. Seven cast-members either had or soon would have an Academy Award nomination, a true murderers row of performers brought to bear on what was already set to be a blockbuster courtesy of Grisham's own ludicrously large fanbase. 

Heading up this Yankee's circa 1932 lineup of performers, Tom Cruise stars in The Firm as Mitchell McDeere, a young lawyer fresh out of law school and highly in-demand. We watch early on as Mitch is courted everywhere from Los Angeles, to Boston, to Wall Street. Least likely among Mitch's many potential employers is a small firm out of Memphis, Tennessee. Bendini, Lambert, & Lock only has around forty lawyers on its roster, unlike the other firms which are teeming with associates. They only want Mitch among his prestigious graduating class and to say he's flattered is an understatement. 

Find my full length review linked here

Movie Review Joyride

Joy Ride (2023) 

Directed by Adele Lim 

Written by Cherry Chevapravataldumrong, Terese Hsiao, Adel Lim

Starring Ashley Park, Sherry Cola, Stephanie Hsu, Sabrina Wu

Release Date July 7th, 2023 

Published July 11th, 2023 

There is a visual gag in Joy Ride that is one of the biggest laughs of 2023. It involves one of the most elaborate and unexpected tattoos ever brought to a film screen. I will not spoil it, but truly, any attempt to describe this gag does not do justice the visual designer who crafted this. I don't know if that was makeup or a CGI design of some sort, whatever it was, it's so funny that I laughed embarrassingly loudly. I laughed so hard that it hurt. My eyes popped open to such a degree that I was concerned. It's just that great of a visual gag. 

It's also a very raunchy, incredibly R-Rated gag and thus why you will have to see it for yourself when you see Joy Ride, a terrifically funny and very R-Rated road trip comedy. The film stars Ashley Park as Audrey, one of the boys, despite being very much a woman, at her boy's club of a law office. With her shot at a partnership on the line, Ashley agrees to travel to China to meet with a client and secure a deal. Not speaking Chinses however, Audrey is forced to bring along her childhood friend Lolo (Sherry Cola). 

Lolo is a loving and devoted friend but also a bit of a chaos demon. The two met as the only two Asian girls at their local park. Shy and reserved Audrey was there with her adopted, white parents who could not be more excited to welcome an Asian couple with an Asian daughter to their neighborhood. Lolo secures their friendship when she punches out a boy who uses a racial slur against Audrey. They've been best friends ever since, even as Audrey has gone on to professional success in the law and Lolo has lived in a guest house nearby while working on being an artist. 

Because of Lolo's inability to say no to her family, the two are being joined on the trip to China by Lolo's deeply odd and ambiguous Cousin, Deadeye (Sabrina Wu). Deadeye is the Zach Galifianakis of this Hangover style comedy, a breakout weirdo with her own movie happening in her head that we only catch glimpses of. The final member of the Joy Ride foursome is Audrey's friend from college, Kat (Stephanie Hsu), now a famous Chinese television actress known for her radiant innocence. Once you know that, you know how that joke is likely to payoff but you won't believe how it pays off. 

Click here for my full length review at Geeks.Media

Movie Review Insidious Chapter 3

Insidious Chapter 3 (2015) 

Directed by Leigh Whannell 

Written by Leigh Whannell 

Starring Lin Shaye, Leigh Whannell, Angus Sampson, Dermot Mulroney, Stefanie Scott 

Release Date June 15th, 2015 

Published July 10th, 2023 

Insidious Chapter 3 is a vastly underrated entry in this terrific horror franchise. All of the Insidious movies have been pretty good but Chapter 3, with Leigh Whannell writing and directing is a low key brilliant horror movie. Whannell is a thoughtful, thorough, and detailed director and he brings that fully to bear on the trim, ingenious scares of Insidious Chapter 3. Stepping out of the shadow of his friend and partner James Wan, Whannell had a lot to live up and Insidious Chapter 3 was proof that he could hang with the best in the genre. 

Insidious Chapter 3 is set several years prior the first Insidious film. The story finds our hero, Elise Rainer (Lin Shaye), a shell of the woman she was when we met her. It's the story of Elise finding herself again following the death of her husband and the threats made against her life by a demonic entity we will eventually come to know as 'The Black Bride." For now, however, Elise pads about in a housecoat and sleeps with her husband's cardigan in a scene so sad I can't stand thinking about it. Elise's stupor is interrupted by the arrival of young woman at her door. 

Quinn Brenner (Stefanie Scott) is desperate to speak with her late mother and she's been referred to Elise as someone who can communicate with the dead. Elise, at first, tries to turn the young woman away but soon relents. What she finds is that Quinn's forays into the world of the dead have communicated with someone, but it is most certainly not her mother. She warns Quinn not to continue contacting her mother but deep down, Elise knows that this vile entity is now attached to Quinn and she's in great danger. 

Insidious Chapter 3 also gives us the origin of Elise's connection to Specks (Leigh Whannell) and Tucker (Angus Sampson). The duo is a pair of ghost hunters who have yet to encounter any actual ghosts. They do however, have advanced equipment that could, potentially, help them find one. Specks and Tucker are called by Quinn's father, Sean Brenner (Dermot Mulroney), at the behest of his son, who saw them on YouTube. Quinn, at this point, has undergone several inexplicable events that have endangered her life so even her skeptical father has to admit, something is going on. 

That's when Elise returns, partners with Specks and Tucker, and the fight to save Quinn from The Further is on. Whannell's talent for pacing, clever ideas for scares, and atmosphere are on full display in Insidious Chapter 3. Whannell has a sense of wonder about his work that I really enjoy. He has a sort of awe for what his characters are doing which feels appropriate. Eventually, this will be a routine for them, but this is there first adventure together and their chemistry is immediately apparent. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media 

Movie Review Son in Law (1993)

Son in Law (1993) 

Directed by Steve Rash 

Written by Fax Bahr, Adam Small, Shawn Schepps 

Starring Pauly Shore, Carla Gugino, Lane Smith, Tiffani Amber Thiessen 

Release Date July 2nd 1993 

Published July 11th, 2003 

I feel as if I need to apologize to my Everyone's a Critic 1993 co-host M.J. Being a member of Gen-Z, M.J once lived in a world where they were blissfully unaware of the existence of Pauly Shore. Our podcast has ruined that for them. M.J is now fully aware of the existence of the man once known as 'The Weezil,' and they are forever changed by this knowledge. I'm reminded of how I managed to go for over a year of the Baby Shark phenomenon without ever hearing the viral tune, only to have a co-worker destroy minus innocence and torment my mind via a shared office Alexa. 

For M.J, the Everyone's a Critic 1993 Podcast has included learning about a movie star with a confusingly large penis, they've seen not one but two terrible films starring the eminently forgettable actor, Arye Gross, and now, they know of the existence of Pauly Shore thanks to a screening of the movie Son in Law. If they weren't of legal, adult age, honestly, I might be risking arrest for having shown my young friend such horrors in just a mere six months of reflecting on the movies of 1993. 

Son in Law is a blisteringly terrible comedy in which the blindingly obnoxious Pauly Shore inflicts himself on everyone around him. Shore is a whirling dervish of a comic void that sucks in all of the good around him and then returns it all less beautiful, and entirely unfunny. With his irksome comic accent and bizarre language, Shore is what Adam Sandler would be if all of Sandler's characters were variations on Billy Madison. That's a hellscape I don't even want to imagine but there it is. 

The threadbare premise of Son in Law finds Becca Warner (Carla Gugino), a small-town gal from South Dakota, moving to Los Angeles to attend college. Finding herself a small fish in a big pond, Becca becomes completely overwhelmed and plans to give up everything and go home. That's when her new Resident Advisor, Crawl (Pauly Shore), yes, his name is Crawl, you try and figure out why, Crawl steps in to keep her from giving up everything. 

Crawl takes Becca under his obnoxious, oblivious wing, gets her new clothes and a new haircut, and generally treats her like the newest member of a cult. Truly, this is how Nxivm started. The end game of Son in Law is Shore and Gugino being arrested alongside one of the stars of Smallville. Okay, it's just a makeover and a tattoo, but it's still kind of weird how she changes every aspect of her life based on the advice on one weird guy. 

Click here for my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Classic Movie Review The Killers (1946)

The Killers (1946) 

Directed by Robert Siodmak 

Written by Anthony Veiller 

Starring Burt Lancaster, Ava Gardner, Edmond O'Brien, Albert Decker 

Release Date August 30th 1946 

Published July 10th, 2023 

The Killers is both an apt and somewhat abstract title for this movie. On the one hand, the film is about two men who go to a small town to kill an ex-boxer over a debt he may or may not owe. On the other hand, the killers of the title are not central to the plot of The Killers. They put the plot in motion by murdering a seemingly random guy, but then they are mostly absent in the story until they are reintroduced late in the 3rd act. The title centers you on The Killers but the movie is more interested in the victim and how he came to be the victim. 

The movie is based on a short story by Ernest Hemingway, a short story that unfolds over the first 10 minutes of The Killers. Two men, Max (William Conrad) and Al (Charles McGraw), enter a small town diner and have a tense back and forth with the diner owner. Over the course of their terse exchange, the two men reveal why they are here. They've come to the diner on this night to kill a man known by most as 'The Swede,' also known as Ole Anderson. The Swede eats at this diner every night at this time and they intend to kill him when he arrives. 

When The Swede (Burt Lancaster) doesn't show up, the killers leave to search for him. Nick, a patron of the diner and a co-worker of The Swede rushes to warn his friend that the killers are coming. In a moment of breathtaking despair, The Swede tells Nick that there is nothing that can be done to stop this and that Nick needs to leave and never look back. Soon after, the killers arrive at The Swede's door and he accepts their arrival with a heartbreaking resolve. 

Hemingway's story ended with Nick returning to tell the diner owner what happened and when the diner owner simply nods in a cynical acceptance of what has happened, the young, idealistic Nick leaves town in disgust. The conflict is between Nick and the diner owner and their dueling perspectives. The diner owner represents an old school mindset that would prefer to ignore the encroachment of the outside world into the insular world of a small town. Nick represents the future, an idealistic notion of right and wrong, justice versus injustice.            

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review Insidious The Red Door

Insidious The Red Door (2023) 

Directed by Patrick Wilson

Written by Scott Teems 

Starring Patrick Wilson, Ty Simpkins, Sinclair Daniel, Rose Byne, Lin Shaye 

Release Date July 7th, 2023 

Published July 7th, 2023 

The key to the Insidious franchise is the wildly brilliant mind of writer-director Leigh Whannell. His consistently terrifying and inventive work on each of the Insidious films, co-writing and directing the first two and providing the screenplay for Insidious The Last Key, are proof that he's one of the modern auteurs of the horror genre. Thus when I saw that he'd neither directed nor provided the screenplay for the latest Insidious movie, Insidious The Red Door, I was immediately skeptical. My skepticism peaked further when it was announced that star Patrick Wilson would be making his directorial debut with Insidious The Red Door. 

That's not intended as a negative judgment of Wilson's work before I had seen it, rather just a manifestation of my overall skepticism of an Insidious sequel without the direct influence of the franchises creator and steward. Whannell does make a cameo in Insidious The Red Door, but his presence behind the camera and the keyboard becomes notable as the film goes on. Insidious The Red Door is lacking the essential ingredients of an Insidious movie, those that Whannell's fertile, creative, and slightly disturbing mind had always provided. 

In his directorial debut, Patrick Wilson also stars in Insidious The Red Door, reprising his role as Joshua Lambert. As a child, Joshua discovered that he could travel into a nether-realm called The Further. There he would be menaced by demons who would attempt to steal his body to return themselves to the real world. Joshua's mother, played by Barbara Hershey, was able to rescue her son with the help of a psychic medium named Elise Rainer (Lin Shaye). Through Elise, Joshua was made to forget his ability to travel into The Further. 

Cut to many years later, Josh is married to Renai (Rose Byrne), and they have three kids including their oldest, Dalton (Ty Simpkins), who has been exhibiting some odd behavior. When Dalton ends up in a coma, his grandmother recognizes what is happening and is forced to confront Joshua's past. She once again calls on Elise to save her family. The solution to the problems was supposed to be once again hypnotizing Josh and also Dalton, so that they forget about The Further. Naturally, this won't be enough to keep their memories at bay for long and that's where the story of Insidious The Red Door kicks in. 

We are nearly a decade in the future from when Dalton and Joshua were hypnotized into forgetting The Further and both, father and son, are having strange dreams and fuzzy memories. For Josh, the decade since the hypnosis he's struggled with daily tasks and has become a shell of his former self. Things are so bad that he and Renai have separated and Joshua has become distant from his three kids, including Dalton who is now getting ready to leave for college. Since Joshua and Dalton rarely talk, Joshua volunteers to drive Dalton to his new college. This only serves to further the rift between father and son. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media 

Movie Review Insidious Chapter 2

Insidious Chapter 2 (2013) 

Directed by James Wan 

Written by Leigh Whannell 

Starring Patrick Wilson, Rose Byrne, Lin Shaye, Leigh Whannell, Ty Simpkins 

Release Date September 13th, 2023 

Published July 8th, 2023 

The first Insidious Chapter was an impressively creepy movie for a PG-13 rated horror movie. The film achieved a solid atmosphere and via tremendous production design, makeup and practical effects, the film became a smash hit. And it deserved to be a hit, James Wan and Leigh Whannell had managed to create a wholly original horror movie at a time when franchises and familiar I.P remakes were the norm in Hollywood. It was a no-brainer that there would be an Insidious sequel but what no one could expect is how much of an improvement the sequel would be over the terrific original. 

Insidious Chapter 2 picks up in the wake of the shock death of Lin Shaye's iconic and immediately beloved, Elise Rainer. The Lamber family is now living with Lorraine Lambert (Barbara Hershey), Josh's mom, in the wake of the horrors that led to their son, Dalton (Ty Simpkins), spending a year trapped in another realm called The Further. Josh (Patrick Wilson) had managed to save his son from this other realm but, as observed by Renai (Rose Byrne), Josh did not come back the same man he was. Instead, an unsteady, often volatile Josh stalks their home, only occasionally showing off the qualities that she loves about him. 

The plot of Insidious Chapter 2 kicks into gear quickly with Lorraine realizing that her son is not the man she knows. Knowing something is very wrong, Lorraine seeks out Elise's team, Specks (Leigh Whannell) and Tucker (Angus Sampson), who are now at Elise's home. They've found a key piece of evidence that shows Josh may be trapped in The Further. With Elise gone, they need a new medium and Lorraine calls on another old friend, Carl (Steve Coulter), the man who initially connected Lorraine with Elise when Josh was a child and traveling dangerously into the further. 

Via Carl we get the backstory of the person who has been stalking Josh all his life, The Black Bride, a vicious and very dangerous serial murderer. Is the Black Bride the entity who has possessed Josh? How will they find their way into The Further to find out? And how will Elise come back to help? These questions have solid answers that build brilliantly on what you already know from Insidious Chapter 1. Watching Insidious Chapter 2 it appears quite clear that James Wan and Leigh Whannell had a plan for a sequel all along as moments from the first film provide a perfect foundation for what we get in Chapter 2. 

It's almost like a fun little game, recalling things that happened in Insidious Chapter 1 and seeing how they happened via Insidious Chapter 2. The seamless integration of the two films gives a little kick to the proceedings of Chapter 2. For me, auteurs are filmmakers for whom details matter. Meticulousness is a strong trait among our best film storytellers and James Wan, along with Leigh Whannell, are an auteurist team who care deeply about the minutia of their storytelling. They recognize the joy that can from having lore and how discovering lore can bond and audience with a story. 

The Insidious movies are thick with lore but not so dense that they become incomprehensible to new audiences. It's a delicate balance, but one that Wan and Whannell achieve via studious attention to details that audiences can choose to follow closely or simply experience on a per thrill basis. You can either actively involve yourself in Insidious or simply enjoy the horror movie ride of the Insidious films without taking note of the layered and extensive lore. For me, I love the lore, I adore the attention to detail and the care with which the filmmakers take to build a community around the Insidious films. 

I also love, love, love the work of Lin Shaye. It was clear in the original Insidious that she was the star of the movie and perhaps the biggest failure of Insidious Chapter 1 was not pivoting away from her ending in that movie. Shaye was the breakout character and the filmmakers recognized that going foward when they bring her back here in Chapter 2 and go back to her in subsequent features, minus Wan but with Whannell firmly shaping the lore. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media 

Movie Review Past Lives

Past Lives (2023) 

Directed by Celine Song 

Written by Celine Song 

Starring Greta Lee, Teo Yoo, John Magaro 

Release Date June 30th, 2023 

Published July 3rd, 2023 

The opening scene of Past Lives catches you immediately off-guard. Our main characters are in a bar together but we are not with them. We are watching them from across the bar as we listen to characters we will never meet, talking about our main characters. These strangers speculate about who our main characters are, whose the husband, who is the lover or ex-lover, are they family members? What is their dynamic? It's the kind of conversation many of use nosy people have had about strangers in public for years. It might break with formal film construction to begin the movie from a perspective other than that of your main character but this breaking of formality is rather brilliant once you come to understand the story being told in Past Lives. 

Past Lives is the kind of movies that spark your imagination in unique ways. It leads you to conversations about it and its many, many ideas about life, love, relationships, friendships, and the dynamics of the heart and mind. It invites you to consider the role you play in the lives of others and how any meaningful interaction you've had with another person has changed you in some way, for good or for ill. It's about how the impressions you make on others matter in ways we most often overlook. It's about a gentle, thoughtful exploration of these ideas via three wonderfully complicated and warm characters. 

24 years ago in South Korea, Nora (Greta Lee) became friends with Hae Sung (Teo Yoo). They may have had more than friendly feelings for each other, but they were too young for that kind of thing. They did go on what their mother's called a 'date' but, again, too young for them to actually know what that means. In school they competed and encouraged each other. When Hae Sung finally beat Nora on a test, she cried and he offered her comfort, in the sort of rudimentary way a teenage boy might offer comfort. Their friendship is rather lovely until Nora bluntly informs her class that her family is moving to America, and she fails to prepare her best friend for this bombshell. 

He's clearly hurt by this and the two part ways almost silently, their last word being a simple and blunt 'Bye.' It takes a decade, but they do eventually reconnect. While chatting with her mother, Nora decides to search for her childhood friend on Facebook. She finds that he's been searching for her as well. This leads to a brief flirtation via Skype, hey it was a decade ago, okay? The relationship gets emotional and involved and discussions are had about seeing each other but life gets in the way. He can't travel to America because of his work, and she can't visit Korea because she's earned a chance to travel to a prestigious writer's commune. She suggests they take a break and he agrees. 

Read my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Classic Movie Review Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom

Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom (1984)

Directed by Steven Spielberg 

Written by Willard Huyck, Gloria Katz 

Starring Harrison Ford, Kate Capshaw, Ke Huy Quan, Amrish Puri 

Release Date May 23rd, 1984 

Published July 3rd, 2023 

Controversial opinion alert: I think Temple of Doom is the best Indiana Jones movie. Before you click away in disgust, allow me to make my case. I don't expect to convince you to agree with me. I understand this is a personal preference thing, my opinion is not more important than yours. But I want the chance to talk about the unending pleasures I find in Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom. From the opening scene to the final moments of Indiana Jones triumphing over evil, Temple of Doom is the most fun Indiana Jones adventure of them all. 

The opening set piece of Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom is incredible. It opens with a terrific musical number by Kate Capshaw, a lavish, gaudy, opening number that really sets the tone for who she is in this story, a classic screwball heroine. Our hero, Indiana Jones, is here to meet with gangsters with whom he has made a deal. Indy has secured a relic they want and in exchange, Indy is supposed to get a rare and quite large diamond. Naturally, betrayal is afoot, Indy gets poisoned and the bad guys withhold the antidote as a way of getting Indy to give back his treasure. 

The scene devolves into screwball chaos from there as the gangsters start shooting, Indy starts punching, he's chasing the vial full of cure, Willie (Capshaw), is chasing the diamond, and they both must run to get away from the many, many bullets being fired. This leads to one of my favorite action moments ever as Indy cuts loose a giant steel gong hanging from the ceiling of the nightclub. It lands and rolls off the stage and as it does, Indy hides behind it, using it as a shield from the tommy gun being endlessly fired in his direction. When Willie grabs the cure, Indy grabs her, and they both go flying through a window. 

The scene leads to a comic set piece with the two falling through numerous awnings before landing perfectly as Short Round (Ke Huy Quan) shows up with the getaway car. A chase scene ensues until Indy makes it to a plane only to reveal a terrific gag that yes, doesn't entirely make sense, but is still quite funny in presentation, especially Indy's comic grin as he thinks he's showed up the gangsters only to reveal to us the trouble he's just bought for himself. Spielberg's direction is pitch perfect, the adventure here feels like a direct lift from an Errol Flynn adventure from the 30s or 40s, and the screwball comedies of that era get wonderful homage as well. 

Much like Indiana Jones and The Raiders of the Lost Ark thrives on Spielberg and George Lucas's love of action serial movies from the era of Saturday afternoon matinees, Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom ages up for homage to Errol Flynn crossed with a classic screwball comedy with just the right touch of Hope and Crosby travel picture. All of it elevated to a level of originality by Spielberg at the height of his cinematic powers. Spielberg's talent for tone and invention is on best display in Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom as he deftly crosses comic touches with scares involving hearts being ripped out of bodies and child slaves living under the whip of a dangerous cult. 

Read my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Classic Movie Review Raiders of the Lost Ark

Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) 

Directed by Steven Spielberg 

Written by Lawrence Kasden 

Starring Harrison Ford, Karen Allen, John Rhys Davies, Denholm Elliott 

Release Date July 12th 1981 

Published July 2nd 1981 

It's the spirit of Indiana Jones that gets me every time I watch Raiders of the Lost Ark. The sense of wonder and excitement that Steven Spielberg brings to his direction, the choices he makes in staging acting, and the way he and Harrison Ford clearly know the vibe they are going for, it's glorious to watch. I may not have grown up on the kind of serialized adventures that George Lucas and Steven Spielberg did, but watching Raiders of the Lost Ark, I feel like I was there with them, when they were little boys, delighting in adventures that they would watch over and over again at the movie theaters of their youth. 

It's a spirit of adventure as much as it is an actual adventure that you enjoy when you watch Raiders of the Lost Ark. It's old school movie magic, a sense of wonder that permeates the screen. In trying to recreate their youth, Spielberg and Lucas invited us along, welcomed us like fellow kids into their exuberant childhood obsessions, they invited us to play with them. It's invitation to be a little kid again and watch as a charismatic hero takes center stage to perform daring stunts because it needs to be done, it' the right and just thing. 

The simple pleasures of Raiders of the Lost Ark are amplified but the wonderful intention of Raiders of the Lost Ark. It's intended to thrill you in a way that Spielberg and Lucas understand the thrill of their own childhoods. It's the purest expression of childlike wonder and nostalgia, rendered fresh and new via remarkable artistry, effects, and a movie star that feels perfectly at home amid the wonder and excitement. Harrison Ford is different from Spielberg and Lucas in a way that carries the spirit of Indiana Jones but also stands aside from it. 

Where Spielberg and Lucas are in earnest admiration of this kind of adventure, Ford's performance doesn't hold the same kind of preciousness. He's living the adventure, he's living Indiana Jones as if the character existed wholly within a real world. This is an essential part of his appeal. Had he attempted to deliver the same kind of enthusiasm and wonder that Lucas and Spielberg were bringing to the creation of Raiders of the Lost Ark, the whole thing could tip into a childish parody. Ford is very much the adult in the room, grounding the action from the perspective of someone taking all of this very seriously. 

That's because, for Indiana Jones, this is all very serious For him, it's an adventure but it is a genuinely life or death adventure. For him, there must be a sense of gravity, a sense of weight, he's providing the stakes of this story. He doesn't have time to indulge in the wonder or step back and think about being in the midst of an incredible adventure, this is life or death, and Ford brings that sense of gravity to Indiana Jones in a wonderfully tricky fashion. He must balance being the embodiment of a wondrous adventure and communicate the grave circumstances that he faces in this story all at once. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media