Movie Review Kill Room

The Kill Room (2023) 

Directed by Nicol Paone 

Written by Jonathan Jacobson 

Starring Uma Thurman, Maya Hawke, Samuel L. Jackson, Joe Manganiello 

Release Date November 3rd, 2023

Published October 30th, 2023

The Kill Room stars Uma Thurman as a New York City art gallery owner who has fallen very hard times. Thurman's Patrice has fallen behind and the fast paced world of art patronage and is beginning to lose her roster of artists. Desperate for a way to buy back her credibility and place in the hierarchy of the art world, Patrice decides that money laundering doesn't seem like such a bad idea. Having recently been approached by a man named Gordon Davis (Samuel L. Jackson) regarding just such a scheme, Patrice decides to take Gordon up on his offer to pump new cash into the gallery. 

The scheme works like such, Gordon will bring in a painting, Patrice will take the painting, run it through her database, price it and sell it to someone that Gordon is doing business with. Gordon's business involves having a hitman named Reggie (Joe Manganiello) choke out men who are marked for death by local Russian mobsters, something that Patrice is unaware of. She assumes Gordon is a drug dealer and thus doesn't feel bad about taking his dirty money. With Patrice's gallery giving Gordon's money a faux legitimacy, the cover up of payments for murders goes swimmingly. 

Then, Patrice actually gets a painting and things start to take a turn. With Patrice having obviously agreed to sell a painting for the sum of $300,000, her assistant, Leslie (Amy Keum), cannot resist telling the art world about the first time artist whose work is selling for hundreds of thousands of dollars. The artist happens to be Reggie, the murderer for hire, and though his paintings aren't great, he does have a soulful and revealing aspect to his approach to sculpture. To appease the apprehension of the art world, Patrice gives Reggie the moniker 'The Bagman' and tells reporters and patrons that he's incredibly private about his work. 

It turns out that Reggie actually doesn't want to be a killer. He was dragged into the world of so called 'wet work' by an obligation to his drug addict sister. In reality, Reggie is a thoughtful, soulful and sad guy with the soul of a real artist. His art just happens to involve throwing a plastic bag over the heads of bad guys and wrestling them until they stop moving and die. Naturally, Patrice will figure out who she's really dealing with and though you might expect a romance plot to unfold between Reggie and Patrice, The Kill Room sidesteps inter-personal politics by remaining firmly in the world of mocking the trade of art and how easy art patrons can be manipulated by buzz and the notion of scarcity. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review Five Nights at Freddy's

Five Nights at Freddy's (2023) 

Directed by Emma Tammi 

Written by Scott Cawthon, Seth Cuddeback, Tyler MacIntyre 

Starring Josh Hutcherson, Elizabeth Lail, Mary Stuart Masterson, Matthew Lillard 

Release Date October 27th, 2023 

Published October 27th, 2023 

Writing about a movie like Five Nights at Freddy's is a thankless task. This is not a movie that gives a critic much to talk about. Movies this witless and needless are more of a tax on your time and energy than anything else. Five Nights at Freddy's is what is called, in industry-speak, an I.P play. That means that it is a well known intellectual property that studio marketers are confident that they can cash in on, regardless of whether the movie is any good. I.P plays are the 'content' that director Martin Scorsese was railing against when everyone accused him of hating Marvel movies. Scorsese doesn't care about Marvel movies, he cares about the result of such movies, I.P plays that take up theater space and waste the critical thinking and mental energy of filmgoers. 

The makers of Five Nights at Freddy's aren't so much make a work of art as they are designing a commercial product intended to sell tickets and shift merchandise. Instead of having a script and a visual design aesthetic, a movie like Five Nights at Freddy's has a spreadsheet that details the market testing that helps set goals for how many tickets sold, how many plush toys, blankets and video games sold, and somewhere on a back page, the money paid to people who've been hired to manufacture the final product movie, itself a product that is intended to be packaged and sold as a digital download, some time in the very near future. 

Five Nights at Freddy's isn't a movie that was written or directed, rather it is crafted by carpenters who hammer the product into something that resembles a movie but is more of an advertisement for selling tickets to what looks like a movie. The real hope is that you will buy a ticket and a t-shirt, a collector cup and a plush. And, of course, the video game which I am sure will shift a few units due to being made relevant again by a marketing campaign. As someone who loves movies and loves writing about movies, a movie like Five Nights at Freddy's is especially dispiriting. There was never any intention to make a good movie here, there was only ever a marketing campaign and merch. 

Hunger Games star Josh Hutcherson, who has apparently squandered his Hunger Games paychecks, how else does he end up here, stars in Five Nights at Freddy's as Mike, a depressed and deeply unlikable character. Mike is depressed for a reason, he feels that it was his fault that his younger brother, Garrett, was kidnapped when they were kids. Since then, Mike has made it his mission to try and recall the man who took his brother. This obsession has cost Mike jobs because either he's sleeping through work or he's angrily attacking people. 

Having been fired from his most recent job as a Mall security guard, Mike is forced to accept the only job made available to him, security guard in a dilapidated restaurant, a former kid friendly pizza place called Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. All Mike has to do is stay awake and watch some monitors, make sure no one breaks in. Why does a restaurant that has not been open in over a decade need a security guard? Who cares, the movie sure doesn't care. So, why should we care, right? It's just another extraneous detail in a movie that doesn't care about details or anything other than just existing and vaguely resembling a horror movie. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media 

Horror in the 90s Nothing But Trouble

Nothing But Trouble (1991) 

Directed by Dan Akroyd 

Written by Dan Akroyd 

Starring Chevy Chase, Demi Moore, Dan Akroyd, John Candy 

Release Date February 15th, 1991 

Box Office $8.4 million dollars 

Why does Dan Akroyd's elderly villain in Nothing But Trouble have the top of a penis for a nose? Why would this be funny? Is it intended to funny? Is it intended to be disturbing? It's certainly confusing. It achieves a high level of confusing. For the life of me, no matter how often I turn this idea over in my mind, I cannot understand the choice of having Akroyd's elderly villain creep have the tip of a penis for a nose. I imagine you reading this and kind of laughing to yourself as the absurdity of the idea of a penis tip for a nose. You're not wrong to laugh, it is absurd and funny but not in the way Dan Akroyd thinks its funny. 

And that is the deeply unfunny heart of 1991's Nothing But Trouble, it's often something you may laugh at but not for the reasons that director Dan Akroyd assumes you will laugh. For Akroyd, the presentation of something is enough to call it a joke. For instance, his penis tip nose or the sight of John Candy in a dress playing his own sister. These visuals are presented to us as if we are supposed to laugh at them, but they aren't actually doing anything funny, either visually or otherwise and thus we are left confused at the choice to show us these things. 

Another thing that writer-director Dan Akroyd thinks is funny but most assuredly is not, is Akroyd's pal, Chevy Chase at his most smug and exhausting. Akroyd has bought into Chase's delusion that just being smug engenders being charming and funny. Chase never says a single funny line in Nothing But Trouble but he's presented by Akroyd as the height of charming. Chase however, is merely arrogant and dismissive of others in a way that might be funny if Chase weren't so dead behind the eyes. Chase is all surface, no substance and his minor barbs lobbed at the villainous characters in Nothing But Trouble, never lands. 

Nothing But Trouble stars Chevy Chase as Chris, a stock expert who has made millions giving stock advice. He lives a fabulous life in a fabulous New York City apartment with fabulous friends that he can barely tolerate. One day, on the way home to a party in his own apartment, Chris meets his new neighbor, Diane (Demi Moore). It's not a meet cute in the traditional sense, it's more of two people sharing the same space that the script requires to be together. To say that Moore and Chase don't share a particular chemistry is an understatement. It appears to take a lot of effort from Moore to be in a scene with Chase, struggling to find a place amid the odor of his massive ego. 

Diane has just lost a big client in Atlantic City and she desperately needs a ride. She asks Chris, who she just met, if she can borrow his car and he insists on driving her himself. A pair of Chris' most obnoxious party guests, played in broad South American caricatures by comedian Taylor Negron and Berlita Demas, overhear Chris and Diane's plan to drive to Atlantic City and insist on going with them. So, on top of the anti-chemistry of Moore and Chase we have a pair of obnoxious stereotypes to overcome. It's as if Akroyd actively wanted us to hate Nothing But Trouble. His dedication to not having actual jokes continues to plague the movie. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media 

Classic Movie Review Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night 2

Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night 2 (1987) 

Directed by Bruce Pittmann 

Written by Ron Oliver 

Starring Michael Ironside, Wendy Lyon, Justin Louis 

Release Date October 16th, 1987 

Published October 18th, 2023 

Hollywood is often accused these days of being obsessed with existing I.P or intellectual property. Sequels, remakes, re-imaginings, these are movies that are derived from existing I.P. It's true, Hollywood is obsessed with existing I.P, uncovering old products that can be made new again, it's familiarity wielded as a marketing campaign. Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny is an I.P, Marvel movies, Star Wars, the Fast and Furious movies, and any number of horror franchises are existing I.P and Hollywood loves to recycle to save a little money. 

It's tempting to say that this isn't a new practice and it really isn't a new practice. But, things like Disney turning their legendary cartoons into live action movies or even creating a franchise out of something used to be at least a little bit frowned upon. Remakes, re-imaginings and loosely related sequels were once the realm of hucksters and shysters not prestigious movie studios with decades of credibility, awards, and blockbusters. Why, there was once a time when Superman got sold to a couple of con-artists who used Superman 4 as a money laundering scheme, ALLEGEDLY. Could you imagine a studio willingly giving away Superman today? 

The best example of the disreputable nature of I.P plays back in the day came from the horror genre. Hucksters and con artists of all stripes were in the business of capitalizing on I.P and, even if they didn't know it, they laid the groundwork for where we are today with the out of control obsession with I.P plays. Take for instance, Troll 2, often viewed as the best worst movie of all time. That film has nothing whatsoever to do with the modestly successful low budget 80s horror movie, Troll. The producers simply managed to become the owner of the Troll I.P and felt that slapping a number 2 on a movie was a clever marketing gimmick. 

Full length review at Horror.Media

Classic Movie Review Silence of the Lambs

Silence of the Lambs (1991) 

Directed by Jonathan Demme 

Written by Ted Tally 

Starring Jodie Foster, Anthony Hopkins, Scott Glenn 

Release Date February 14th, 1991 

Box Office $272 million dollars 

In many respects, Silence of the Lambs is the most successful horror movie of the 1990s. The film is the second highest grossing horror movie of the decade, behind only David Fincher's Seven, but it also swept the Academy Awards, winning Best Actress for Jodie Foster, Best Actor for Anthony Hopkins and Best Picture among other awards. Oddly enough, it's this remarkable level of success and respectability that causes many to dismiss the idea that Silence of the Lambs is a horror movie. Horror movies are supposed to be shown in drive ins or on late night cable television. Horror Movies do not sweep the Oscars and, in fact, aren't allowed in the hallowed halls of respectable Hollywood. 

And yet, there should be no question that we are watching and adoring a horror movie. Clarice Starling, for all of her respectable traits and awards pedigree, is a terrific example of the Final Girl archetype. Yes, she's dressed up with a terrific actor in Jodie Foster and built with a respect for women that the horror genre typically lacks, but nevertheless, the final moments of Clarice's search for the big bad of Silence of the Lambs casts Clarice as a tremendous example of the Final Girl, the survivor who lives to tell the tale of what happened with the killer. 

A lot of people who claim they don't like horror movies want to knock down the notion that Silence of the Lambs is a horror movie out of their stubborn belief that they don't find such films entertaining. On the other side, there are hardcore horror fans who don't want to accept Silence of the Lambs as a horror movie because it is too respectable, too beloved. It's a horror film for the normies who wouldn't last but a few minutes watching a 'real' horror movie. Silence of the Lambs also lacks in the kinds of transgressive bad taste that is also a hallmark of 'real' horror movies. 

Silence of the Lambs opens on FBI Trainee Clarice Starling (Jodie Foster) running through the woods, alone. It might seem like nothing but there is a heft to this image. A woman running alone through the woods a classic horror movie scenario. Whether you are talking about Friday the 13th or The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, when you place a woman in the context of being alone running through the woods, the echoes of horror movies of the past are evoked. I am going to take the image a little further however, and speculate a little bit about something a little esoteric. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media

Movie Review Butcher's Crossing

Butcher's Crossing (2023) 

Directed by Gabe Polsky 

Written by Gabe Polsky, Liam Satre Meloy 

Starring Nicolas Cage, Fred Hechinger, Xander Berkley 

Release Date October 20th, 2023 

Published ? 

I think, to be as fair as possible to Butcher's Crossing, this movie isn't for me. Butcher's Crossing is a slow, agonizingly dry piece of historical fiction. It's an interesting story, how a few people managed to savage an entire species to near extinction while nearly getting themselves killed but you have to be willing to go on this rather dreary journey. It does have its temptations, this journey. The main temptation being star Nicholas Cage with a fully shaved dome and a touch of the crazy eyes. Beyond that though, the appeal of Butcher's Crossing is limited to obsessive fans of the history of the American west. 

A naïve and ill-prepared Harvard drop out arrives at a fort in the west in early 1800s. Will Andrews (Fred Hechinger) is a rich kid with a little of dad's money and a desire to see what the American west looks like. He's traveled to this place to meet a man who worked for his father years ago. Will hopes that this man will allow him to join one of his buffalo hunting parties as a sort of hunting tourist. The man turns him down and sends him on his way. Not one for giving up, Will seeks out a man in a saloon with a big reputation. 

Miller (Nicolas Cage) is a well known buffalo hunter with a taste for blood and a gleam in his eye. Miller can see this wimp coming a mile away and he smells the kids money. Miller just happens to harbor a desire to no longer work for the hunting companies in this town, he wants to branch out on his own and all he needs is a bank roll. Miller also claims to know where he can find a seemingly endless supply of Buffalo that could be harvested, skinned and provide more money than any local hunter could possibly dream of. 

Naturally, the dimwitted Harvard drop out is won over by the charismatic hunter. Once they hire a skinner, (Jeremy Bobb), they are on their way to a valley no one but Miller believes exists. After seeming to get lost, they actually find the valley and indeed, they find a herd of buffalo unlike any that's been harvested before. It's large and for some reason, despite Miller picking them off repeatedly with a rifle, most of the herd doesn't try to leave the valley, making them easy to hunt to an almost ludicrous degree. The hunters will harvest more buffalo than they could possible skin and return to their outpost and Miller's mania for killing buffalo will eventually risk all of their lives in the harsh conditions of the Colorado territory. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Classic Movie Review Judgment Night

Judgment Night (1993) 

Directed by Stephen Hopkins 

Written by Lewis Colick 

Starring Emilio Estevez, Cuba Gooding Jr., Jeremy Piven, Stephen Dorff, Denis Leary 

Release Date October 15th, 1993

Published October 16th, 2023 

The most interesting aspect of 1993's action flick, Judgment Night is how star Emilio Estevez held the producers over a barrel. Estevez is rumored to have been very low on the list of actors that the producers wanted for the lead role of Frank in Judgment Day. Naturally, they were chasing a big star, Tom Cruise. That didn't work so they went to Christian Slater who also passed on the role. The role was then passed on by John Travolta and Ray Liotta before landing at the feet of Emilio Estevez. The production had a small window to actually shoot and complete the film and with that, the studio offered Estevez the role because he was available and so many others said no. And then Estevez asked for $4 million dollars for the role and he got it. 

That's way more interesting than what happens in this dopey urban action drama which posits a mostly empty downtown Chicago a fully dystopian Chicago that is desperately violent but also a ghost town. Four buddies are traveling to the big city from the suburbs in order to attend a boxing event. Frank (Estevez) is joining his best friend Mike (Cuba Gooding Jr), Frank's brother, John (Stephen Dorff), and their obnoxious, pushy, irritating pal Ray (Jeremy Piven) for the trip to the city. 

Because his personality apparently isn't obnoxious enough, Ray decides to scam his way to borrowing a gigantic motor home to take the four friends to the city for the fight. Unfortunately, the group fails to account for Chicago traffic on a night when there is a giant sporting event and they wind up missing the start of the event while trapped on an expressway. With time slipping away, Ray makes an illegal turn and uses an off-ramp to try and sneak around traffic. The group ends up in the dystopian future set of Chicago, unrecognizable to suburban yokels like themselves. 

As the group bickers about being lost, Ray hits a pedestrian with the motor home. Forced to stop by his friends, Ray frets about going to jail as his buddies tend to the injured pedestrian. To say this pedestrian is having a rough night would be an understatement. Not only was hit just hit by a motor home, he'd been shot in the gut just before the accident. Clutching a bag full of ill-gotten cash, the man begs for help and the friends force Ray to try and find a hospital, despite his desire to abandon the injured man and try to avoid going to jail. 

Mike takes over driving and the group is on the run, choosing to try and chase a police car on its way to call. That's when the motor home is struck by a car and forced off the road. The motor home finally comes to rest trapped between two buildings. The men in the car that hit them turn out to be gangsters led by Fallon (Denis Leary). They break open the back of the motor home to snatch the injured man and they kill him. They then want to kill the witnesses to that killing and set off after our suburban commandos who rush off into those famously empty Chicago streets. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Classic Movie Review The Exorcist

The Exorcist (1973)

Directed by William Friedkin 

Written by William Peter Blatty 

Starring Ellen Burstyn, Max Von Sydow, Lee J. Cobb, Jason Miller 

Release Date December 26th, 1973

Published October 10th, 2023 

The first image you see in William Friedkin's The Exorcist is the sun, bright, orange, dawning a new day. This is followed by an image of a sweltering desert in Northern Iraq. On the soundtrack is Arabic music. What does any of this tell us about the rest of the movie we are about to watch? I would argue, it tell us nothing. The sun doesn't have any meaning related to the rest of the movie. Nor does a sweltering desert. Perhaps if I reach beyond logic, I could argue that the sun and the desert reflect the heat of Hell? Maybe? But that is a very big stretch. 

An archaeological dig is occurring in this northern Iraqi desert. Numerous men swing pickaxes and other implements intended to break rock and remove dirt. Why? We can assume it has something to do with ancient religion, an attempt to uncover something lost to time. Here, William Friedkin lingers over the images of Iraqi men with their tools, the dirt, the heat, is this a representation of what hell is like? What does it mean that Friedkin's stand in for Hell is located in a Muslim country? What does this have to do in any way with a child who later stab herself in the crotch with a crucifix? 

An elderly white archaeologist is called to come to a place where some small items have been found. The old man goes and when he reaches into the cave where these small items have been found, he finds one more, a small idol with what appears to be the face of a dog or a dragon or something. We don't know who this old man is at this point, but we stay with him as he goes to a café and has some tea. He's shaky, he takes pills for what I assume is a heart condition. He appears shaky though whether that is due to having found this idol thing or because he's very old and has been working in the hot sun all day, is unclear. 

The shaky old dude leaves the café. He walks around the corner and sees three blacksmiths hard at work, rhythmically pounding away at a piece of hot metal. One of the men turns to the old man and reveals a cloudy eye. The old man, our seeming protagonist wheezes, and the scene ends. Cut to a ticking clock. The old man mumbles 'Evil against Evil.' Finally, we learn that the old man is a priest as the other man in the room refers to him as 'Father.' The clock on the wall stops and the man says he is sorry to see the old man leave. Father tells the man that he has something he must do. The old man goes back to the archaeological dig site, he locates a statue, one that resembles the small idol he found earlier. A man kicks some rocks, dogs fight, Father stares at the statue, we fade to the sun which ends the scene and takes us to Georgetown, Virginia, USA, the setting for our story. 

Why does William Friedkin's The Exorcist begin with this prologue? What have we learned? Father Merrin (Max Von Sydow) was in Iraq. He found an idol and stared at a statue. The idol and the statue are related. By the rules of storytelling then, this demonic figure that Father Merrin found must be related to the possession of young Regan O'Neill (Linda Blair). There is one, relatively inane visual scene that links Iraq and the idol to Regan and Georgetown. Following the offscreen death of a filmmaker who was directing a movie Regan's mom was working on, a Police Detective (Lee J. Cobb) finds what looks like an idol just like the one Father Merrin found in Iraq. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media 

Movie Review The Exorcist Believer

The Exorcist Believer (2023)

Directed by David Gordon Green 

Written by David Gordon Green, Peter Sattier

Starring Leslie Odom Jr, Ann Dowd, Ellen Burstyn, Jennifer Nettles

Release Date Friday, October 6th 

Published October 9th, 2023 

The Exorcist Believer stars Leslie Odom Jr. as Victor Fielding, a single father and photographer. Victor's wife died in child birth while the couple were traveling in Haiti some 13 years ago. Angela (Lidya Jewett) appears to be a relatively good student, follows the rules, rarely finds trouble. Then, one day after school, Angela doesn't come home. What we know, that Victor doesn't know, is that Angela and her best friend, Katherine (Olivia Marcum) have decided to go into the woods to see if they can contact Angela's late mother. Then, the girls vanished. 

After three agonizing days for Victor and for Katherine's parents, Miranda (Jennifer Nettles) and Tony (Nortbert Leo Butz), the girls are found hiding in a farmhouse not far from their school. The girls believe that they have only been gone for a few hours and they cannot account for three days. Nothing appears to be physically out of sorts with the girls but they are slowly descending into madness. Angela starts convulsing and cursing at her father and Katherine soon after follows suit. 

Both girls soon end up back in the hospital where they had been treated and released in the immediate aftermath of their disappearance. This time however, no one knows what could be wrong with either girl. They have the same symptoms and they present the exact way. Both girls appear to be possessed by demons and Victor, not being religious, has no idea what to do. Luckily, Victor's neighbor is a nurse, and when she sees the state of Angela going to the hospital, she leaps into action. 

Through Ann, we are reintroduced to Kris O'Neil (Ellen Burstyn). Luckily for Victor, she lives in driving distance of his home. In the years since she witnessed the aftermath of her daughter's exorcism, Kris O'Neill dedicated her life to hiding her child from the world. This works for a little while, but when she joins this story, Kris and her daughter haven't spoken in several years. Kris has written more than one book about her daughter's possession. She has unique insight into the rituals and she may be the person who knows how to rescue the children. 

And then, she gets stabbed in both eyes and is out of the movie. Honestly, it's as if Ellen Burstyn were simply padding her retirement years with the biggest paycheck she can get her hands on. A woman of her age and dignity should not have to waste her time playing a character who exists solely for name value and nebulous familiar references to things from previous versions of The Exorcist franchise. It would be pathetic if it were not for how dignified Burstyn is, even as she's rushing out of the door of the movie as soon as she can. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media

The Return of I Hate Critics

The Everyone's a Critic Podcast is going back in time. Back to the time we were known as I Hate Critics. Yes, we are bringing back our original name. Why? Because it just feels right. We want to refresh the brand and with our new additions, Jeff, Amy, and M.J all working to freshen up what Bob and Sean have been doing for more than a decade now, it feels right to revisit the origins of the podcast. We began the show based on the idea of film fans, Bob and Josh, getting the chance to question, quarrel and converse with a person who had earned the title of professional film critic. 

We began the I Hate Critics Podcast based on the premise that I got into film criticism out of a genuine love for writing about movies and the belief that I would be cool if I was a film critic. I was never cool growing up, I thought that having a cool job would make me cool by association. I was wrong. What I experienced in earning my professional title and membership in the then Broadcast Film Critics Association, now the Critics Choice Association, was proudly telling people I met that I was a film critic and being met with more hostility and derisiveness than I was fully prepared for. 

"I never agree with critics." "I don't listen to the critics." Or "Critics hate everything." These are the statements that met me every time I introduced myself and was asked about my chosen profession. I genuinely thought I was going to be cool if I told people I was a film critic. Instead, I found most people eager to tell me I was wrong and that they hated the critics. Thus, I Hate Critics was born. It's a chance for film fans to confront a film critic and force him to defend his position. However, it evolved quickly as Bob, Josh, and myself became close friends. It became less about challenging me as a critic and more about sharing a mutual love of movies. 

That was at the heart of changing the name to Everyone's a Critic. We wanted to create a community that was safe for all opinions. We wanted to be inclusive and that was great for a long time. We enjoyed a place of positivity and inclusion. Lately however, the tide has turned and once again, film criticism is in the crosshairs. Film Critics have been trying to defend the profession against the encroachment of so called 'influencer culture.' There is a tide of opinion that rages against Critics and is forcing critics to defend their positions. That's a good thing in many ways, critics should be challenged. 

Find my full length article at Geeks.Media

My Saw franchise Top 10

With Saw X taking us back to more of Jigsaw's (Tobin Bell) back story, it appears that there are still stories to tell in the Saw-niverse. (The Saw-Universe). Box office-wise, the film made only $18 million on its opening weekend, it finished behind Paw Patrol, mostly thanks to the meme Saw Patrol which married the kiddie flick with the horror favorite for an even more unique double feature than Barb-enheimer. $18 million dollars is a far cry from the early 2000s heyday of the franchise when $30 million dollar opening weekends were the norm, but nevertheless, the franchise is wildly profitable thanks to its relatively low budget and its high level of gory excitement. Loyal Saw-ties, as I call my fellow Saw fans, will always turn out for this incredible franchise, arguably the best horror franchise of all time. 

With that in mind, with 10 Saw movies in the books, it's time to rank the Saw franchise. What is your favorite Saw movie Saw-ties? My top 10 is below... 

10. Jigsaw - 2017- Jigsaw retcons a little too much of John Kramer-Jigsaw's back story and is rather derivative in terms of the traps and the gore involved. The first trap, the Barn Trap, is a near complete ripoff of Saw four which also featured a series of inter-connected victims failing to work together and ending up dead for their selfish ways. There is also the way in which the film cheats the overall Saw timeline that left a bad taste in my mouth. This is the rare, not good Saw movie. Most of the Saw movies, in my estimation, are actually good movies. 

9. Spiral from the Book of Saw -2021- Big stars really don't have a place in the Saw franchise. Movie stars, even one as minor as Chris Rock, tend to go into movies like this with too much of what I call 'Main Character Powers.' The chances that Rock was going to end up in a Saw trap with his hand or leg or head cut off were minimal simply because he's a movie star, a big name celebrity. The other Saw movies made smart choices for their players. Recognizable faces like Scott Patterson from Gilmore Girls and Costas Mandylor have faces you know but they are not movie stars. Thus, they can die at any moment in a Saw movie and no one is going to get too upset. The Saw movies, after the original, are ensemble films with multiple stories unfolding. Movie stars pull all of the focus away from Jigsaw, the traps, and the plot. 

8. Saw 2 -2005- I like Saw 2, I like the energy that Donnie Wahlberg brings to this franchise. He's right in the lead actor sweet spot for a Saw movie, not a big movie star but a guy with a recognizable face. I like how his hard headedness is both his best quality as a cop and his downfall as a person. He's determined to save the life of his son but he blows the whole case because he can't control his anger. It's a phenomenal twist ending. That said, outside of Wahlberg's confrontation with Jigsaw, what remains of Saw 2 stumbles around a bit. The filmmakers haven't quite found the formula yet that binds the Saw philosophy to horror movie scares. Saw 2 is like a schematic for the better Saw movies to follow and improve upon. 

7. Saw 3D aka Saw 7 -2010- The end of the Detective Hoffman arc was a bit of a letdown for me. I hated seeing what happened to Betsy Russell's Jill Tuck and it bummed me out enough to push Saw 3D low on this list. And that's despite the much welcomed return of Cary Elwes as Doctor Gordon. Gordon as an apprentice of Jigsaw is a great reveal and the way the noose encircles the main character, Bobby (Sean Patrick Flannery) is terrific. I'm too sad about Jill Tuck to put Saw 3D higher on this list. 

6. Saw 4 -2007- The first post-Jigsaw's death Saw movie struggles a little to get going but once it does, the battle between Hoffman and Strahn, and the main trap centered on Officer Rigg is tremendous. We finally get to learn the fate of Detective Matthews and that ending, it's a heartbreaker. 

Full length list at Horror.Media 

Classic Song Review Voices Carry

Aimee Man is a brilliant songwriter and clearly always has been. My thesis statement for that admittedly not very bold claim is the 1984 song, Voices Carry, performed by Aimee's then band Til Tuesday. In many ways, this is a classic pop song. It has the structure and the strengths of a great pop song. You can, as I did for so many years, passively enjoy Voices Carry as a classic example of 80's pop music. Listening to it today however, and with the context of the incredibly simple but effective music video, you find layers and layers of relationship lore and a narrative of casual abuse that is carefully and brilliantly layered into this four minute pop song. 

Voices Carry tells the story of a relationship between a young woman finding her voice for the first time and the man who is determined to keep that voice silent. The video begins on a narrative thread with the man, played by actor Cully Holland, passive aggressively belittling Aimee's music career, her band and her look. In a voice dripping with condescension, the man  says "I'm SO happy the band is doing well. By the way, what's with the hair? Is that part of the new 'image.'" If you're skin doesn't crawl hearing this man talk, you need to listen again with a new understanding. 

Aimee Mann's opening lyrics are striking and beautifully set the tone for the song and the state of this relationship: 

"In the dark I'd like to read his mind, but I'm frightened of the things I might find." That brilliantly evocative lyric is haunting, it lingers as the song continues. The opening of the song layers in Aimee's insecurity and the excuses she's making to herself about his dismissive behavior towards her. Before long we get to the heart of something in the title of the song that Aimee the character is only beginning to understand about him and herself. When she says I love you, he tells her to keep it down. Voices Carry. Why would he say that? Is he ashamed of her? No, they're in public together in a couple context, he's not ashamed to be seen with her. 

So what's really happening here? It's about control. It's about him telling her how and when she can express her feelings. He's using the notion of propriety and manners in public to exert control over her. She can say I love you but only in the context that he allows it. He gets upset if she expresses her emotions outside of the context of his control. That notion is at the heart of the abuse going on between this man and Aimee, the character in the song and video. By this point in their relationship, it's clear she's coming into her own, finding a voice and giving power to her own words. He intends on keeping control, asserting his will, pretending that it's about some ancient notion of propriety and manners is just a cover for his controlling nature. 

In the music video, this point is made even clearer in a visual. Aimee is wearing a stylish, over-sized earring, expressive of her growing personality and sense of herself, her style. In the visual, the man reaches over the table and removes her earring and replaces it with a pair of more conservative, expensive, earrings, jewelry more in keeping with his style, the classic 80's rich guy. Once again, he's asserting his control over her. It's rendered more insidious by trying to hide his abusive control in the form of what might be mistaken as a generous, expensive gift. It would be easy to miss if you saw this interaction in public. I can see in my mind's eye, some of you shaking your head, lost to the concept that a generous gift could be anymore than just a generous gift. Keep reading. 

The next series of lyrics are some of the most powerful and revealing. 

"I try so hard not to get upset, because I know all of the trouble I'll get." The word 'trouble' is doing a lot of heavy lifting in this line. It's mundane enough to indicate that she just doesn't want to endure the griping or arguments that might come from her showing  her emotions. Or, it could mean that she fears his more direct abuse and the exerting of control over her. People who have suffered abuse understand on a fundamental level the idea of going along to get along, hide your feelings so as not to set off an often unpredictable abuser hidden inside a seemingly loving partner. 

"Oh, he tells tears are something to hide, or something to fear. And I try so hard to keep it inside, so no one can hear." 

"Tears are something to hide or something to fear" is a line of remarkable emotional weight. Essentially, he's telling her that she should be ashamed to cry, to express herself in such a display. But the second half that, 'or something to fear,' is chilling. She should be afraid to cry. What could he have possibly done to make her afraid to cry? That's the strongest indication thus far that this abuse is more than just emotional, there is some kind of physical intimidation, if not, outright physical abuse going on here if she's been made afraid to cry. 

Find my full length article at Beat.Media 

Classic Song Review Take Me Home Tonight

Take Me Home Tonight (1986) 

Singer Eddie Money

Songwriter Mick Leeson, Peter Vale, Ellie Greenwich, Jeff Barry, Phil Spector 

Release Date August 1986 

You know something? Sometimes, thinking too much about a song is a terrible idea. When you ponder some songs, even ones you ostensibly enjoy, you can start to hate that song. That's what has happened to me with a song that was massive in my childhood. I was 10 years old when I first heard Eddie Money sing Take Me Home Tonight. It was on the radio constantly and the video, filmed in black and white in an empty arena, was in massive rotation on MTV, the true obsession of my young mind. 

MTV took up days and hours of my time as a child. I was obsessed with music videos. I was obsessed with music video countdowns, be it the weekly Top 25 Countdown or Dial MTV, the daily Top 8 or 10 countdown to which I committed my parents hard earned money by calling in to make requests and try to push Def Leppard or Poison or Stryper's latest song to the top of the rankings. I never called to vote for Take Me Home Tonight. It wasn't that I didn't like it, rather, it was just never that kind of song. 

Take Me Home Tonight is one of those songs from the 80s that seemed to become a hit out of a particular kind of boomer nostalgia. By 1986, Eddie Money had not released a record in 3 years. He'd been a relatively brief arena rock obsession. In 1977 he released his first record and scored two big hits, Baby Hold On and Two Tickets to Paradise. Money found fame quickly but was just as quickly was reduced to a novelty. His subsequent three records struggled and he was in the wilderness for three years before Take Me Home Tonight became a song he was forced to sing. 

Take Me Home Tonight was the price Eddie Money had to pay to keep his record deal. He didn't actually like the song. His producer and the record company loved the demo and forced it on Money who then recruited Ronnie Spector to sing on the record. Why was Ronnie Spector sought for the song? Because, as lead singer of The Ronettes, her song "Be My Baby" was at the heart of Take Me Home Tonight. It's the song that the protagonist of Take Me Home Tonight is listening to while begs and cajoles a woman to Take him home Tonight.

So, with the ringing endorsement that Eddie Money didn't like the song and Ronnie Spector had to be begged to sing on it, let's dig into this utterly bizarre, lazy, and creepy song. Take Me Home Tonight could be remixed to be a song about a man who was stalking someone and has crept into their bedroom at night, through a window, uninvited to beg her for sex. It really doesn't take much more than thinking about it to move Take Me Home Tonight into the same uncanny valley where The Police classic Every Breath You Takes has lingered for about 40 years. 

Find my full length review at Beat.Media 

Movie Review Pieces

Pieces (1983) 

Directed by Juan Piquer Simion 

Written by Dick Randall, Roberto Loyola 

Starring Christopher George, Paul Smith, Edmund Purdom, Linda Day 

Release Date October 14th, 1983 

Published October 17th, 2023 

Pieces? Where have you been for all of my horror movie loving life. Pieces is a 1983 slasher movie that perfectly mixes camp and horror. The film is often hysterically over the top and genuinely gross in gory set pieces well at home in the horror genre. It's not an easy balance between being goofy and scary and Pieces really hits the sweet spot. I can't say that anyone making Pieces knew they were making a goofball melodrama crossed with a bloody slasher movie, I imagine they thought they were just making an exploitation film. And yet, what they made is exactly what I love about 80s horror, a hilariously overwrought drama and a slasher movie. 

Pieces centers on a child named Timmy Reston. It's 1942 and Timmy's daddy is fighting in World War 2. On the home front, Timmy has found some of dad's risque collection of... puzzles. Well, one puzzle specifically, one of a nude, smiling woman. When Timmy's mom catches him putting the puzzle together, she reacts with fury and plans to burn the puzzle and everything Timmy owns in revenge for this lustful heart. Timmy, being perhaps even more dramatic than his mother, runs to grab an ax which he uses to split his mother's skull and dismember her body. Timmy manages this just as his governess is arriving at the home. She calls the Police and though Timmy is covered in blood and his mother's head is in his closet, they assume he's just a traumatized kid and not the killer. 

Cut to 40 years later, it's 1982 and we get our first bizarre non-sequitur moment. On a college campus, we see a young friendly girl on roller skates. She's waving to friends  and appears to be a beloved young person. Shots of her on her roller skates are cross-cut with the arrival of a van for a glass company. We see the girl on skates and workers exiting the vehicle. She skates faster and more excited and the workers are removing a sheet of glass from the van. You know where this is heading and exactly what you think is going to happen, happens, she crashes into the glass. Is she dead? You might assume so. Why did we witness this? Beats me, there is zero explanation for this happening. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media

Movie Review Fair Play

Fair Play (2023) 

Directed by Chloe Domont 

Written by Chloe Domont 

Starring Phoebe Dynevor, Alden Ehrenreich, Eddie Marsan, Rich Sommer 

Release Date September 29th, 2023 

Published October 12th 

Fair Play is a vile, ugly, nasty movie and I kind of love it. Few films have gotten under my skin as deeply as Fair Play has. I've struggled to write about the film until now simply because trying to gather my thoughts on it leaves me both enraged and exhausted. In a good way. I've written this review several times and thrown it out several times. I've written negative reviews and positive reviews and tried to figure out a way to talk about the movie without revealing too much about myself. That's the power of a work of art, when it can get inside you and mess around like that. 

Fair Play has a really clever opening shot. The camera opens on the back of Phoebe Dynevor's Emily at a party. She stands alone in the distance as Donna Summer's sex anthem, Love to Love You Baby plays on the soundtrack. The deeper meanings of this shot will become clear as the movie plays out. Emily, alone, singular, distant, and yet, sex is in the air. Sex has a big role to play in Fair Play. In fact, within mere moments of introducing Emily, we meet her boyfriend Luke (Alden Ehrenreich) and the two engage in deeply, unexpectedly transgressive sex that gets bloody. Note that, it's important later. 

The sex is followed by Luke almost accidentally asking Emily to marry him. He happened to be carrying a ring which fell out of his pocket as he was getting dressed. Despite the deeply inappropriate moment, Luke decides to ask Emily to marry him and she, surprisingly, says yes. The story of their engagement will be memorable, though I doubt it's the story they will tell their kids if they have any. Get ready because writer-director Chloe Domont is going to do this to us throughout Fair Play, taking life events and giving them a nasty twist. 

Emily and Luke met while working together at the same finance gig. Luke has been with the company longer and when an opening management comes around, both Emily and Luke assume that he will get the job. They even celebrate prematurely with sex. That night, at around 2 in the morning, Emily gets a call from their boss, Campbell (Eddie Marsan). He wants her to come have a drink and upon arrival, she's told that she will be getting the promotion that she thought was going to Luke. 

It gets more awkward as Luke will now be Emily's immediate underling, her analyst. She will have to tell him what to do and take credit for work that he will do on her behalf, such is the nature of the job. She has to make the hard decision on an investment, but it's based on his grunt work. Luke tries to be happy for his now secret fiancée but the cracks in the relationship are immediate and seemingly irreparable. It's not merely Luke's male ego or pride getting in the way, it's also the way both are tip toeing around each other at work and at home.

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review Totally Killer

Totally Killer (2023) 

Directed by Nahnatchka Khan

Written by David Matalon, Sasha Perl Raver, Jen D'Angelo 

Starring Kiernan Shipka, Olivia Holt, Julie Bowen 

Release Date October 6th, 2023 

Published October 12th, 2023 

Totally Killer stars Kiernan Shipka as Jamie, a High School student with a typically standoffish relationship with her mother, Pam (Julie Bowen). The two fight and disagree as mothers and daughters are wont to do but when Pam is murdered, Jamie is devastated. The killer is one familiar to the town they live in, a vile serial murderer known as the Sweet Sixteen Killer. The moniker comes from the killer's M.O, stabbing his victims 16 times. The killer made a splash in 1987 when he killed three teenagers who happen to have been Pam's best friends as a kid. 

The killer left a note indicating that he'd planned on killing Pam all along though why he waited until now to get around to it is unclear. Nevertheless, Jamie is despondent until her best friend, Amelia (Kelcey Mawema), reveals that she has built a time machine for their school project. It's based on a design created by Amelia's mother, Lauren (Kimberly Huie), who gave up her inventing dreams when she became a single mom. Amelia believes that she can send Jamie back to 1987 which would give Jamie the chance to stop the killer before he's able to take even one victim, thus saving her mom in the future. 

This time travel theory is put to the test the same night when the Sweet Sixteen killer tracks down Jamie and chases her right into Amelia's time machine. Stabbing the control panel, the killer inadvertently sends Jamie back in time. Arriving in 1987, Jamie must now convince people that she's from the future to stop the murders but, she has to be careful not to change too much of the past or it could lead to her not having a future. In the past, Jamie meets her mom, played as a teen by Olivia Holt, and finds out that she's a mean girl. 

Pam was the leader of a group of bullies known as The Molly's. They're The Molly's because the four of them all dress like Molly Ringwald. It was the three other Molly's, Tiffany (Liana Liberato), Heather (Anna Diaz) and Marisa (Stephi Chin Salvo), who were the original victims of the Sweet Sixteen Killer. From here, the movie lays out several potential killers including the future school Principal, Doug, the future Gym Teacher Randy, and future Podcaster, Chris, who happens to specialize in documenting and exploiting the Sweet Sixteen Murders as a True Crime Podcaster. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media 

Horror in the 90s Popcorn

Popcorn (1991) 

Directed by Mark Herrier 

Written by Tod Hackett 

Starring Jill Schoelen, Tom Villard, Dee Wallace Stone, Ray Walston, Derek Rydall 

Release Date February 1st, 1991 

Box Office $4.205 million 

Popcorn is a minor miracle of a horror movie. The film should have been a complete disaster. The film ran through three directors, two lead actresses, and a screenplay credit fight that ended with the credited screenwriter being a fake name. There is no good reason that Popcorn turned out as well as it did. And yet, the film has developed a minor cult following. Despite having been passed on by Black Christmas director Bob Clark and then taken away from director Alan Orsmby, who directed a significant portion of the film, and switching lead actors after the film had begun production, Popcorn is a wildly fun and exciting horror flick. 

Popcorn follows the denizens of a college film class as they seek funding for their short films by throwing a horror film festival at a rundown local movie theater. Having somehow secured three cult horror movies from the 1960s, the plan is to use the wild, over the top marketing gimmicks of these movies to sell out the place and use the money to make short films. The plan comes together when one of the students manages to legendary movie props from the dramatic and iconic Dr. Mnesyne (Ray Walston). With his tools, the students can recreate the weird wonderful time when the movies in their festival were briefly the most innovative and popular of genre fare. 

The story of Popcorn however, truly centers on one of the students, Maggie (Jill Schoelen). Plagued by nightmares, Maggie hopes to take her wild dreams and turn them into her own short horror movie. What she doesn't know yet is that her dreams are based around a real childhood drama. When Jill was very young, her film director father murdered her mother on stage after the showing of his own short film for which the ending was unshot. The ending was instead acted out live on stage with the murder of Jill's mother. Jill was also meant to die but she was rescued at the last moment. 

Jill knows none of this so when a ragged looking can of film is found among the movie props they've borrowed for the festival, she's unaware that it is her father's legendary lost short film. She does however, recognize some of it as she and her fellow film students watch it out of curiosity. The short film happens to look a lot like the scenes from Maggie's nightmares. The question that will eventually emerge as Popcorn goes along, is Maggie's father actually dead? We may find out as her fellow students consider showing this creepy short as part of the festival. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media 

Classic Movie Review Demolition Man Take 2

Demolition Man (1993) 

Directed by Marco Brambilla 

Written by Daniel Waters 

Starring Sylvester Stallone, Wesley Snipes, Sandra Bullock, Nigel Hawthorne, Benjamin Bratt, Denis Leary

Release Date October 9th 1993

Published October 11th, 2023 

Demolition Man is a desperate, sad, and pathetic attempt by Sylvester Stallone to cast himself as the 'cool guy.' There was this character archetype of the 80s and 90s, one pioneered by Eddie Murphy, for the most part. It's a character who is the smartest, funniest, coolest guy in any room that he's in. I call these characters Bugs Bunny types. Bugs Bunny was always one step ahead of whoever he was on screen with. Bugs was never the subject of the joke, he was the one delivering the punchline. No one got over on Bugs Bunny, he always came out on top by being funnier, smarter, and more dynamic than anyone else on screen. 

Whether Eddie Murphy was aware of it or not, his Beverly Hills Cop persona is an R-Rated version of a Bugs Bunny archetype. Axel Foley is Bugs Bunny. He's always three steps ahead of everyone in a scene. Axel is the funniest, smartest, and wittiest person in every moment. No one can keep up with Axel or Bugs Bunny and no one is allowed to get one over on Axel or Bugs Bunny. There is an element of the archetypal Simpson's character Poochie in Axel Foley as in the few moments that Axel is off screen, everyone has to be talking about Axel and wondering what he's doing at that moment. 

I don't mean this to demean Eddie Murphy or his performance as Axel Foley, it's merely an observation. Being like Bugs Bunny is a solid compliment. There is also the matter of coming timing and instinct that make Eddie Murphy such a comic icon. His bravado, that swagger, it's unlike anyone we've seen in this kind of role. Why am I lingering on Beverly Hills Cop, Bugs Bunny, and Eddie Murphy in a review of Demolition Man? Because Sylvester Stallone wants so badly to be as cool as Eddie Murphy. 

It's very clear that the lead role in Demolition Man was written with someone of Murphy's comic timing and instinct in mind. It's clear that the movie would benefit from having a fleet footed comic voice at the heart of the story. It's also clear that having Sylvester Stallone and his sad, desperate, egotism at the heart of the movie, drags the whole thing down. Stallone is not an actor with strong comic instincts. He's lumbering, he speaks slowly, and he's not cool, no matter how much he might want you to believer it. He's simply not believable as the smartest, funniest, most dynamic guy in any room that he's in. 

Thus, what should be a fast paced action comedy, becomes a flat, lumbering, lumbering, clumsy, testosterone heavy, bloated explosion-fest. In order to frame Stallone as the coolest guy in any room, the rest of the cast is forced to dial back their performances to match Stallone's slow, witless cadence. So, we have a character played by a young and lovable Sandra Bullock who is rendered almost unwatchable as she bravely battles her way through some of the worst dialogue in any movie ever. And you have a remaining supporting cast that is not allowed to have either screen time or presence that might compete with Stallone or make him look any less dynamic than he already appears. 

Only Wesley Snipes is allowed to shine opposite Stallone and thus why Snipes disappears for so much time in Demolition Man. Though Snipes' Simon Phoenix is the big bad of Demolition Man, his colorful villain is kept off screen for lengthy periods of time while the screenwriters desperately try to craft scenes to make Stallone look cool. The world building in Demolition Man might appear, on the surface, to be similar to any other sci-fi movie set in the future. But, look closer, if you do, you can see a series of innovations that are clearly inventions intended to make Stallone appear more relatable and especially cooler than anyone else in the movie. 

One example that stands out as the kind of gag that is written for an Eddie Murphy type comic actor that falls flat as delivered by Stallone, involves bathroom habits of the future. I'd rather not linger on the famed 'three seashells' of Demolition Man, but the gag is one that Murphy would have thrived in riffing on. There would undoubtedly be a fast paced, curse word laden rant that Murphy would riff off the top of his head about the 'three seashells.' In the hands of Murphy, it's a masterpiece of raunchy humor. In the hands of Sylvester Stallone, the bit dies an unmourned death that raises far too many needless questions that distract from the story being told. 

For those that aren't familiar with Demolition Man, the story goes that Sylvester Stallone is John Spartan, a cop in 1996 Los Angeles. Spartan is a good cop who plays his own rules, a classic cliche of 80s and 90s action movies. John Spartan has been given the awkward moniker, Demolition Man, because his style of being a cop involves a remarkable level of property damage and death. In pursuing the violent criminal gang leader, Simon Phoenix (Wesley Snipes), Spartan is accused of getting a group of hostages killed and Spartan himself is convicted and placed in a cryo-prison. 

Frozen inside a giant ice cube, John Spartan is sleeping his life away until 2036 when his old nemesis, Simon Phoenix escapes from the same cryo-prison under strange circumstances. In 2036, there is no crime, no music, no salt, no sugar, and society is a pristine, plasticized bore. The Police still exist but they don't have much to do. Thus, when Simon Phoenix commits the first murders in more than 30 years, no one in the Police Department is prepared to deal with his level of violence. A young cop named Lenina Huxley offers an unusual solution, thaw out legendary cop John Spartan, reinstate him to the Police and have him track down Simon Phoenix. 

That's the plot of Demolition Man and there are the building blocks of a good idea in there. It's a classic fish out of water scenario in which a man from a different time suffers comical culture shock in a future he doesn't understand. It's a premise rife with easy culture clash gags that might be elevated by a comic mind like Eddie Murphy. Sadly, with Sylvester Stallone in the lead, the jokes basically devolve to dimwitted observations about how boring the future is without cool stuff we had in the past. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Documentary Review Mr. Organ

Mister Organ (2023) 

Directed by David Farrier 

Written by David Farrier 

Starring David Farrier, Michael Organ 

Release Date October 6th, 2023 

Published October 6th, 2023 

And then it hits you, he can talk and even confess to these people living in this place because he knows, and we know in many ways, no one will believe them. 

That was the thought that punched me in the gut as I finished watching David Farrier's incredible new documentary, Mister Organ. Once again, the director and creator of the brilliantly funny, brutal, and insightful documentary, Tickled, has found himself tangled in the most unlikely of webs. As a journalist in New Zealand, David became curious about a series of complaints that were filed by people who claimed to have been scammed by what David refers to as a 'Clamper.' 

A clamper is someone who literally uses a wheel clamp on cars. In this case, the clamper was clamping the wheels of cars parked near an antiques store in Ponsonby, Aukland, New Zealand. The pattern went that someone would unknowingly park near the store, unaware that they were parking on private property. The minute they were away from their vehicle, the clamper would strike and place clamps on the wheels that would prevent the car from leaving. When these unsuspecting people returned to their vehicle, they would be accosted by this clamping man and forced to pay an excessive amount of money in order to get the clamps removed. 

Technically, the clamper is correct that these people were parked 'illegally' but the way he held people up for more and more money led to police complaints and eventually David doing a story on the antiques store and the antics of this clamper in trying to force people to pay more and more money in this obvious scam. After David's story comes out the antiques store soon closes. David remains interested in the clamping man and the store owner, Jillian Bashford who seems to employ the clamping man but also claims in public not to know the man. Ah, but she most assuredly does know him and indeed, David may know of him as well. 

In the past, a man known as Michael Organ had claimed to have been of royal lineage. He'd claimed to be a lawyer and he had spent time in jail after he had stolen a yacht. So, records of Michael Organ do exist but there is so much more to this story. For the legend of Michael Organ, or is it Prince Michael Organ Shirinsky? What is his name? Is it even Michael Organ? You won't know what to believe, even after the documentary has ended. 

"If Michael went to hell, the Devil would be banging on the door of heaven asking God to get him away from Michael." That is by far the most cogent and thoughtful summation anyone could give of the character of Michael Organ based on what you see of the man in this remarkable documentary. Who says this line is a brilliant bit of magic that I won't reveal, you must see it for yourself. This is devastating stuff to watch unfold. Farrier meticulously and relentlessly unfolds a terrifying story that is all too familiar to people who've been in abusive relationships. 

Find my full length review at Psyche.Media

Horror in the 90s Meet the Applegates

Meet the Applegates (1991) 

Directed by Michael Lehmann 

Written by Michael Lehmann, Redbeard Simmons 

Starring Ed Begley Jr, Stockard Channing, Dabney Coleman

Release Date February 1st, 1991 

Box Office $485,000 

Writer-Director Michael Lehmann is to be respected for his... big choices. After making a splashy debut with Heathers, now beloved cult classic, Lehmann continued taking big risks. He made Hudson Hawk and allowed star Bruce Willis to walk all over him while no one could agree on what the movie should be. Lehmann's Hudson Hawk experience led him down a path to directing some of the most conventional yet memorable comedies of the late 90s, movies like Airheads and The Truth About Cats and Dogs. It's clear that Hudson Hawk chased the weird out of Michael Lehmann. 

My thesis statement for that observation is Lehmann's other pre-Hudson Hawk endeavor. While Heathers is remembered for its wild dark humor and unexpected levels of deathly violence, Lehmann took things a step further and a step stranger in 1991's Meet the Applegates. Despite having a cast led by three veteran actors of remarkable reputation, Ed Begley Jr., Stockard Channing, and Dabney Coleman, Meet the Applegates is one of the most bizarre, awkward, and peculiar movies ever made. 

In the jungles of South America, a remarkably racist and bleakly comic scene unfolds. Missionaries are teaching a collection of horrifying stereotypes about what America is like. The lesson tells the story of a family of four, parents Dick and Jane and their kids, Sally and Johnny. These four people, who don't exist, are the ideal 'nuclear family.' Just as the missionaries are completing their lesson, a construction crew breaks through and begins clearing the jungle. They are tearing down the rainforest and strip mining the place. 

In this process however, the construction crew unleashes a dormant type bug with... unique powers. These bugs, the Brazilian Cocorada, use chameleon-like powers to impersonate other species. In this case, the species they choose is human. Finding the book about the perfect nuclear family, four of the bugs take on the personas of Dick (Ed Begley Jr.), Jane (Stockard Channing), Sally (Camille Cooper) and Johnny (Robert Jayne). Using these human shells, the bugs move to the suburbs with a plan to destroy America in revenge for the destruction of the rainforest. 

This is all inferred on my part. The film quite jarringly shows the bugs murdering the missionaries and then credits. Then we are in the suburbs and a few visual clues tell us that these are the bugs in human form. Their mission becomes clear only after an expository conversation with Aunt Bea (Dabney Coleman). Aunt Bea is also a bug in disguise and he/she acts as the handler for the Applegates, giving them their mission and helping them to carry it out. Dabney Coleman in a dress is a haunting visual that should be funny but never is. 

Read my full length review at Horror.Media

Movie Review The Creator

The Creator (2023) 

Directed by Gareth Edwards 

Written by Gareth Edwards, Chris Weitz 

Starring John David Washington, Gemma Chan, Ken Watanabe, Sturgill Simpson, Allison Janney 

Release Date September 29th, 2023 

Published October 2nd, 2023 

The Creator stars John David Washington as Joshua Taylor. Make note of that biblical name, it means something. Joshua is a double agent of the future. In this future world, A.I was built to make life easier for Americans. That worked until the A.I got too real and decided to nuke Los Angeles. Some time after that, America has banned A.I and is at war with New Asia, a country that has become a haven for A.I living in among the human population as equals. Joshua is a spy who was tasked with getting close to Maya (Gemma Chan), who is believed to be the daughter of the Nirmata, the A.I creator. 

Nirmata, we are told, has been working on a weapon that could turn the tide of the war between America and New Asia. This new A.I weapon is evolving quickly and will carry the ability to destroy non-A.I technology, like that used by the U.S military. Joshua's assignment works better than expected as not only does he get close to Maya, the two fall in love and Maya gets pregnant. That's when things hit the fan as the Americans decide to attack without warning Joshua first. In the attack, it appears that Maya and the rest of Joshua's band of A.I brothers, are killed. 

Returning to America, Joshua takes a crappy job and appears ready to spend the rest of his life guiltily drinking himself to death. That's when he's approached by General Andrews (Ralph Ineson) and Colonel Howell (Allison Janney). They have proof that Maya is still alive and they want Joshua to go to New Asia on a mission to reconnect with her and by extension, get close to the new A.I weapon so that it can be destroyed before it evolves to destroy the American military. That's the plan anyway, these things in movies tend to fall apart and fall apart they do. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Classic Movie Review The Wizard of Oz

The Wizard of Oz (1939) 

Directed by Victor Fleming 

Written by Noel Langley, Florence Ryerson, Edgar Allen Woolf 

Starring Judy Garland, Frank Morgan, Ray Bolger, Burt Lahr, Jack Haley 

Release Date August 25th 1939 

Published September 25th, 2023 

The Wizard of Oz is a rich template for movie makers past and present. It's a movie that created a dynamic that became the model for thousands of movies that followed it. Movies that you would never assume have a connection to The Wizard of Oz are in many unique ways connected back to Victor Fleming's wildly imaginative, influential and generationally beloved adventure. In 2022, an entire documentary was released that charted the many ways David Lynch movies were influenced by Lynch's unending fascination with The Wizard of Oz. That's how wildly influential and groundbreaking The Wizard of Oz was and is more than 80 years later. 

Dorothy Gale (Judy Garland) is a sheltered child living in Kansas on a farm that seems days away from any neighbor or civilized area. It's close enough for her to attend school and for her to cross paths with a vile neighbor named Almira Gulch (Margaret Hamilton). Ms. Gulch claims that Dorothy's beloved Dog Toto chased her cat and bit her. She has talked to the local sheriff and intends to take Toto to be euthanized. Toto manages to escape and return to Dorothy and the two make a run for it, running away from the only life Dorothy has ever known. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media

Movie Review It Lives Inside

It Lives Inside (2023) 

Directed by Bishal Dutta 

Written by Bishal Dutta 

Starring Megan Suri, Neeru Bajwa, Vik Sahay, Betty Gabriel 

Release Date September 22nd, 2023 

Published September 26th, 2023 

It Lives Inside is a mostly effective horror movie with the twist of being set in a Hindu legend. The Pishacha is a demonic spirit that forms around a drunkard, liar, adulterer or a person who dies while insane. The Pishacha of It Lives Inside uses this as a jumping off point for a monster movie about a giant nasty ghost bug thing that eats souls. So, it doesn't fully take on the actual Hindu legend, per se, but it uses it as a firm base from which to jump into a creepy monster movie with a subtext about growing up feeling like an outsider and the stress of trying to live in two different worlds. 

It Lives Inside stars Megan Suri as Sam, or Samhida. She prefers Sam as this is the name that her school friends have begun using now that she's becoming more assimilated into her mostly white school. The only person at school who still calls her Samidha is Tamira (Mohana Krishnan), her long ago closest friend. Sam and Tamira grew up together but grew apart as Sam sought further acceptance into their neighborhood and school. Tamira meanwhile, in her loneliness began looking into the death of another Indian family in their neighborhood. 

This leads to Tamira discovering a glass jar that she claims is speaking to her. She's become a fearsome and spectral creature at school, quietly walking the halls carrying this dirty looking jar and refusing to put it down. When Tamira finally approaches Sam looking for help, Sam grows frustrated and in her haste, she breaks the jar. Sam was unaware that the jar contained a demon, a Pishacha, which subsequently captures Tamira and then sets about haunting Sam as it seeks its next soul to devour. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media 

Horror in the 90s Warlock

Warlock (1991) 

Directed by Steve Miner 

Written by David Twohy 

Starring Julian Sands, Lori Singer, Richard E. Grant 

Release Date January 11th, 1991 

Box Office $15 million dollars 

Warlock is a completely hilarious disaster. Though it stars respected English actors, Julian Sands and Richard E. Grant, it's an embarrassment to both men's legacies. It's a black mark on their CV's for sure and I feel unkind in even bringing it up in the wake of Julian Sands' tragic passing. But, sadly, as we start a new year of Horror in the 90s, winding out 1990 into 1991, we are confronted with Warlock as the next major horror movie release. Never mind that the movie was actually made in 1989, the release date and its subsequent reputation as both a disaster and somehow a franchise, begins in 1991. 

Warlock stars Julian Sands as the title character, Warlock. Here we must pause to examine the first thing we see in Warlock. A man is building a cage into which cats will be placed. These cats are then taken to the gallows where they are stacked on top of kindling. The ritual is being undertaken for the execution of the Warlock. The cats are being burned alive along with the witch because... witches like cats? Cats and witches do have a long-standing association though where director Steve Miner got the notion that cats were burned with witches they weren't directly associated with; I have no idea. 

Anyway, before he can be executed by fire with cats, Warlock talks to Satan and is tornadoed into the future. The movie literally shows a wispy cartoon tornado engulf Julian Sands and sweep him out of the room. It's the first of several unintentionally funny special effects in this epic bad movie. For reasons never explained, Satan tosses the Warlock into the future world via a farty tornado and tosses him through the window of a suburban California home. Here, the world's most chill roommates, Lori Singer's Kassandra and Kevin O'Brien as Chas, react to having a human being crash through the window of their home the way you or I might react to spilling our drink. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media 

Movie Review Saw X

Saw X (2023) 

Directed by Kevin Greutert 

Written by Peter Goldfinger, Josh Stolerg

Starring Tobin Bell, Shawnee Smith, Synnove Macody Lund, Steven Brand

Release Date September 29th, 2023 

Published September 29th, 2023 

I'm a huge fan of the Saw horror franchise. I find the underlying philosophy fascinating and challenging. At once, I don't want to see anyone harmed and I am fascinated by the harm Jigsaw creates for his subjects who must endure ungodly pain in order to survive and find redemption. It's like an extreme form of self flagellation with the intent of seeing what the body and mind can endure to survive. Pushing the limits of the human body to their absolute breaking point is something many people talk about as being the most alive one can feel. Jigsaw makes that happen for people with the difference being that they don't get to choose not to do this. 

That's a big and important difference. Jigsaw's victims aren't choosing to challenge themselves, they are forced into this challenge. Now, they end up being challenged because of their own actions, Jigsaw doesn't harm the innocent, only those who have wronged others or who fail to value their own life. But it's still an important point that he is forcing the issue, these people had no intention of seeing the limits they would go to to save their own life. With that acknowledgment out of the way, let's talk about what Jigsaw does as a form of redemption and self-actualization. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media