Movie Review Scooby Doo

Scooby Doo (2002) 

Directed by Raja Gosnell

Written by James Gunn 

Starring Freddie Prinze Jr., Sarah Michelle Geller, Linda Cardellini, Matthew Lillard, Rowan Atkinson

Release Date June 14th, 2002

Published June 14th, 2002 

I came into this review all set to bemoan art in films, Hollywood's lack of creativity and why producers can't find original projects and so on. Then I saw the movie, and while I could still complain about all of those things, I have to be honest and say on some level I enjoyed this product of Hollywood's inability to be original.

As the story begins, we join our heroes Fred (Freddie Prinze of Darkness), Daphne (Sarah Buffy Geller), Velma(Linda Cardellini), Shaggy (Matthew Lillard) and the most famous Great Dane in the world, Scooby Doo. After doing battle with a ghost in Pamela Anderson's toy factory (yes that Pamela Anderson), the gang unmasks a janitor posing as a ghost. Another case solved by mystery Inc., except when approached by the press, Fred takes all the credit. Velma gets upset and quits, so does Daphne, and the gang is no more.

Two years later, Scooby and Shaggy are living in the Mystery Machine when they are approached by a messenger offering them money and all they can eat if they will come to the Spooky Island amusement park and solve a mystery. Fred, Velma and Daphne have also received invites and the gang is reunited. The film is as simplistic as its setup, with simple messages about friendship and teamwork that are aimed at the preschool audience. There are a couple of good chuckles for adults, such as subtle references to Shaggy's pot smoking and numerous send-ups of the cartoons classic setups.

The casting is pretty bad save for Matthew Lillard who was the perfect choice for Shaggy. He provides most of the film’s best laughs with his physical humor. Freddy Prinze Jr., to criticize him would be pointless so I'll move on. Linda Cardillini as Velma seems uncomfortable throughout the film struggling to ape the cartoon voice and manner of her cartoon counterpart. Sarah Michele Gellar as Daphne may have seemed like a good choice but after performing as long as she has on TV's best show (personal opinion) she looked bored by this material that is obviously beneath her. 

The CGI Scooby turned out surprisingly well. After the first trailer I thought he was going to look creepy. In the film, however, Scooby is well realized and the actors do a good job playing against a character that wasn't really there. Lillard had the most scenes opposite Scooby and he does a great job, it was probably easy for him, after working so often with Freddie Prinze he is used to talking to vacant spaces. I know, cheap shots.

One of the charms of the Hanna Barbera cartoon was that every episode was exactly the same. The film version does a good job at sending up those setups while still living into them. But don't be mistaken, Scooby Doo is a kid’s movie. It's meant for those between the ages of 3 and 12. And on that level Scooby is a partial success

Movie Review The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys

The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys (2002) 

Directed by Peter Care 

Written by Michael Petroni 

Starring Kieran Culkin, Emile Hirsch, Jena Malone, Jodie Foster 

Release Date June 14th, 2002 

Published November 10th, 2002 

What is your favorite childhood memory? For me it was making out with my first girlfriend Dawn. I was 12; she was 11 and every Tuesday her mother would bring her over while she played cards with my parents. Dawn and I would sneak off to a gorgeous spot right on the Mississippi River bank. The Dangerous Lives Of Altar Boys is one of those films that will make you nostalgic for your childhood, your first love, your best friends, and those moments that only you and those childhood friends will remember.

The film centers around four friends, Tim (Kieran Culkin), Francis (Emile Hirsch), Wade (Jake Richardson) and Joey (Tyler Long). The focus is on their love of comic books and their loathing of their catholic school teacher Sister Assumpta (Jodie Foster). The boys visualize themselves as comic book superheroes and their fantasies are played out in cartoon vignettes throughout the film. Things begin to change for the boys as Francis begins his first relationship with a girl, Margie, played by the lovely Jena Malone. As Francis and Margie's relationship grows, his friends’ sense they are losing their best friend, Tim especially feels he is losing his best friend.

As a way of reasserting their friendship, Tim gets an idea to take revenge on Sister Assumpta for all the trouble she has caused them. The elaborate plan calls for the guys to steal a cougar from a local zoo and unleash it in Sister Assumpta's office. Francis, Wade and Joey go along at first not realizing how serious Tim is about his over the top revenge scheme. In the meantime, Francis is dealing with Margie and her very serious home issues including alleged sexual abuse by her older brother who is a classmate of Francis.

The shocking details of the abuse would seem to be more than any teenager could deal with but Francis isn't an average teenager. Francis reacts to the many revelations from Margie at first like anyone would but his limitless kindness and gentle nature lead him to more philosophical conclusions than you would expect from someone his age. For the most part Francis retreats into his comic fantasies, incorporating his real life torments into his comic drawings and stories.

The film travels a twisted road of comedy and drama and is quite reminiscent of the movie Stand By Me in it's camaraderie between these four young guys and their ever quickening emotional growth. A tragedy near the end of the film makes sense emotionally and intellectually rather than seeming like a shallow heart string tug.

In the hands of a less skilled director, this material could have been a treacle mess. Veteran video director Peter Care, who has worked with the likes of REM, treads the line between smart comedy and drama very carefully. Care never allows his teenage characters to seem smarter than the adult types we get in so many other teen comedies and especially on TV.

Hirsch’s performance really made an impact on me. Looking like the younger brother of Adrien Grenier with his round soulful eyes and olive skin, Hirsch's look projects a budding intelligence necessary to make characters like Francis work. It is a great time for Independent film. My top ten end of the year list is likely to be dominated by them. Will The Dangerous Lives Of Altar Boys be on that list? We will see, it will surely come close.

Movie Review: Bad Company

Bad Company (2002) 

Directed by Joel Schumacher

Written by Jason Richman 

Starring Chris Rock, Anthony Hopkins, Gabriel Macht

Release Date June 7th, 2002

Published June 6th, 2002 

Anyone who has ever written a screenplay knows one of the hardest parts is coming up with a title. Back in 2000 Jerry Bruckheimer thought that when he bankrolled a mismatched, fish out of water, buddy, action comedy that the film had a perfect title. That title was Black Sheep. Bruckheimer had forgotten that just three years earlier Chris Farley and David Spade starred in a god-awful comedy of the same title. So the title was changed, however, the new title now seems just as curious. 

Bad Company is the title of at least a dozen films, one of which was a spy movie made in 1990 starring Laurence Fishburne and Ellen Barkin. Curiously that film is just like the new Bad Company, about CIA agents. Of course the fact that I have spent the first few paragraphs of this review writing about the title of the film should indicate how I felt about this latest Bad Company.

Chris Rock stars in dual roles, the first being an undercover CIA agent who is killed in the former Czech Republic in an arms deal gone bad. The second role is that of the CIA agent’s estranged twin brother Jake Hayes. After his twin brother’s death, Jake is recruited by the CIA to replace him and complete the arms deal. Jake is not surprisingly reluctant to team with the CIA and his brother’s former partner Oakes (Sir Anthony Hopkins). After finances are discussed, Jake eagerly takes up his brother’s cause.

This, of course leads to one of those typical fish out of water sequences where the low class character has to learn to be high class and do so in very little time. Jake needs to know which fork to use at a fancy dinner and needs to learn how to dress, walk and speak. It's a scene cribbed from a dozen other formula fish out of water comedies and not improved upon here. 

Once Jake is ready he is taken to the Czech Republic to do the deal, but wouldn't you know it, the same guys who killed his brother are already waiting for Jake and the CIA and the deal goes bad. The nuclear weapon that was the subject of the deal is stolen and moved to New York City, and somehow Jake's girlfriend is kidnapped. I'm sure there was a good reason for how the bad guys figured out Jake wasn't his brother but I was so bored with Bad Company by this point I didn't care.

It's not surprising to find this formula swill was directed by Joel Schumacher, the king of formula swill. (I should note my still simmering bitterness towards the man who destroyed the Batman series). What is surprising is seeing two actors as talented as Sir Anthony Hopkins and Chris Rock in such a conventional film. From the script to the screen, I can't imagine they couldn't see how formulaic and trite this material was. 

Rock deserves a lot of credit for going off the script as often as he does, providing the only solace from the lame formula with bits taken from his standup act and his natural wit. Sir Anthony Hopkins on the other hand makes it clear that he is merely picking up a check sleepwalking through the entire film, especially it's lamest of all ending. 

It would be very easy for me to blame Joel Schumacher for this formula trash but the real fault lies with Jerry Bruckheimer. He after all is the one who keeps financing this supposedly crowd pleasing, screen tested trash. Bruckheimer knows formula swill because he and his late partner Don Simpson invented it.

Movie Review: Undercover Brother

Undercover Brother (2002) 

Directed by Malcolm D. Lee 

Written by John Ridley 

Starring Eddie Griffin, Denise Richards, Dave Chappelle, Aunjanue Ellis, Gary Anthony Williams, Neil Patrick Harris, Billy Dee Williams

Release Date May 31st 2002 

Published May 30th, 2002

Eddie Griffin is a fantastic standup comedian, with what may be the best Michael Jackson impression on the planet. As an actor however Griffin has yet to find himself. Griffin's acting resume includes 2001's worst film Double Take and worst film candidate 2002 The New Guy. Now with his new film Undercover Brother, Griffin has found himself in what may be the funniest movie of the year.

Griffin is the titular Undercover Brother, a 70's throwback to the era of Blaxploitation who takes it upon himself to steal from the rich and give to the poor inner city black folks. As one character puts it he's a "Soul Train reject with a Robin Hood complex". After breaking into a bank and destroying the mortgages of poor people who couldn't afford to pay, UC is recruited by the Brotherhood. The Brotherhood is an underground organization dedicated to the protection of black culture from the evil ministrations of "The Man". 

It's headed up by the Chief (Chi McBride), and his top agents, Sistah Girl (smokin hot Aunjenue Ellis) and Conspiracy Brother (comedy's secret weapon Dave Chappelle). Also on the team are the computer expert Smart Brother (Gary Anthony Williams) and white boy intern Lance (Doogie Howser's Neil Patrick Harris), affirmative action hire. Undercover Brother teams with the Brotherhood to save a black presidential candidate played by Billy Dee Williams who has fallen under the control of the Man and now instead of running for office, he plans to open a chain of Fried Chicken Restaurant's complete with grits, greens and a complimentary 40 ounce malt liquor.

That's just a sample of Director Malcolm Lee and writer John Ridley's satire of African American stereotypes, they have far more satiric jabs for white people including swipes at white people's love of the show Friends and their peculiar love of mayonnaise. One of the best satirical moments is the send up of the black man's weakness for white women as Undercover Brother is seduced by the evil White She Devil (Denise Richards).

Chris Kattan rounds out the cast as The Man's evil henchman Mr. Feathers, and the film does the seemingly impossible, it's makes both Kattan and Eddie Griffin funny! Undercover Brother's showdown with Mr. Feathers toward the end of the film, set to Michael Jackson's Beat It, is absolutely hysterical, making use of Griffin's years of dance training and Kattan's completely inept attempt at dancing.

While the film cribs heavily from Austin Powers; hysterically out-of-date hero and over-the-top gags, if your going to steal you might as well steal from a good movie. The film also owes a great deal to other satirical looks at race relations and Afro American culture, from the films of Spike Lee to Eriq Lasalle's little seen Gem The Drop Squad and the Wayans brothers brilliant Blaxploitation send up I'm Gonna Git You Sucka. Spike Lee, by the way, is Director Malcolm Lee's cousin, and while Malcolm doesn't have Spike's social conscience he has his sense of humor and it is well tuned in Undercover Brother.

For the first time in a long time we get a comedy that is actually FUNNY. I can barely remember the last Hollywood film that was as consistently funny as Undercover Brother. It’s all due to the confident lead performance of Eddie Griffin, the smoking hot performances of Richards and Ellis, and the well-played satire of Director Lee and Writer John Ridley, on whose web cartoon the film is based. Undercover Brother is an early candidate for the Best Comedy of 2002. And with the comedies Hollywood usually makes you might pencil it in as the winner now.

Movie Review Insomnia

Insomnia (2002) 

Directed by Christopher Nolan

Written by Hillary Seitz 

Starring Al Pacino, Robin Williams, Hilary Swank, Maura Tierney, Martin Donovan, Nicky Katt

Release Date May 24th, 2002 

Published May 23rd, 2002 

How many times has Al Pacino played a cop? About half as many times as his cohort Robert Deniro, but that is still a lot. However, Pacino has never played cop in a film directed by Christopher Nolan. That is an important distinction. As Nolan has shown, in his previous efforts Memento and Following, that genre is a dirty word. With Nolan at the helm, you know you’re not in for your typical police procedural.

Insomnia has Pacino playing Detective Will Dormer, on loan from the LAPD to an old friend who is the sheriff of Nightmute, Alaska. Dormer and his partner Hap are momentarily escaping an internal affairs investigation that threatens to destroy Dormer's high profile reputation. On arriving in Nightmute, Dormer is met by a young local cop named Ellie Burr (Hillary Swank) who fills us in on how well known Dormer is by discussing his many big cases which she studied while in the police academy.

As for the case itself, a teenage girl was found in a garbage dump having been beaten to death. The case breaks quickly as Dormer and the local cops lock onto a suspect after the discovery of the dead girl’s personal items. The discovery leads to a stakeout that goes horribly wrong, leading to the death of Will's partner and a cover-up that calls Will's integrity into question.

While investigating under the noses of the local cops, Dormer uses some questionable tactics to discover a suspect, a mystery writer named Walter Finch (Robin Williams). Somehow, Finch knows Dormer's secret and tries to use it against him. This begins a cat and mouse game where the mouse proves to be smarter and more adaptive than the cat. 

Insomnia isn't about police procedure and chase scenes, it's about atmosphere and intellect. Williams and Pacino play fantastic cat and mouse with Williams tormenting Pacino with his inability to sleep due to Alaska's never-setting summer sun. Both Williams and Pacino are spectacular as they leave their previous screen chewing person's behind.

Director Christopher Nolan brilliantly uses the never-ending sunlight of this unusual and unlikely location as the perfect backdrop for this intensely dark suspense flick. As Pacino drives around at 3 in the morning and the sun shines, it is as if the light turned his mind into a prison shining a harsh light on his guilty conscience and many regretful decisions.

Nolan is becoming one of the best directors in the world, an auteur whose genius lies in keeping both the audience and his characters off balance. In Memento it was Leonard's short term memory, in Following it was the young man’s writer's block and guilty conscience, and in Insomnia it's Dormer's inability to sleep that keeps the audience and the characters from ever getting comfortable or complacent.

Insomnia is a strong move into the mainstream for Christopher Nolan who manages to make a Hollywood film without compromising his artistic vision and Auteurist style.

Movie Review: Enough

Enough (2002) 

Directed by Michael Apted

Written by Nicholas Kazan

Starring Jennifer Lopez, Billy Campbell, Noah Wyle, Juliette Lewis, Dan Futterman

Release Date May 24th, 2002 

Published May 21st, 2002 

For all the jokes about Jennifer Lopez's personal life, singing career, and her backside, one thing people shouldn't joke about is her acting. With her performances in Out Of Sight, The Cell and the very under-appreciated Angel Eyes, J.Lo has proven she can act. Though her latest film Enough isn't as good as her previous films, it certainly wasn't her fault.

Enough is the story of Slim (Lopez), a waitress who while being hit on by a jerk cop named Robbie (ER's Noah Wylie), is saved by Mitch (Once & Again's Billy Campbell). What appears to be love at first sight turns into a marriage gone wrong. Several years after Slim and Mitch get married and have a baby named Racie (Tesa Allen), Slim finds out Mitch is cheating on her. When Slim confronts him, he beats her up. Slim eventually escapes and Mitch goes after her, leading the film from “movie of the week” drama to ridiculous revenge flick.

I saw a preview screening of Enough and I wonder if maybe the film wasn't finished yet. I say this because the first third of the film is such a complete mess your left wondering if a first-year film student high on Jolt Cola and Marlboro Lights edited it. Rather than developing a relationship between Slim and Mitch that makes sense, the film employs silent movie title cards to inform the audience of the stage of their relationship. Thus the audience is left wondering just what each character’s motivation was for being together at all.

The film does have some effective moments, mostly when J.Lo is on the run and training to fight her husband. Director Michael Apted does what he can with the limited script and effectively uses omniscient narration to build tension, especially in the film’s fight scene crescendo. In the end though, Enough is a ridiculous, revenge fantasy meant to appeal to the same girl-power feminists who made Ashley Judd's Double Jeopardy a 100-Million hit. See Enough for Jennifer Lopez's stellar performance, but if your not a fan, skip it. 

Movie Review Star Wars Episode Two Attack of the Clones

Star Wars Episode II Attack of the Clones (2002) 

Directed by George Lucas 

Written by George Lucas 

Starring Ewan McGregor, Hayden Christensen, Samuel L. Jackson, Natalie Portman, Christopher Lee, Ian McDiarmid, Frank Oz, Joel Edgerton, Anthony Daniels, Kenny Baker 

Release Date May 16th. 2002 

Published May 16th, 2002  

Did you like The Phantom Menace? I thought I did but when I watched it, to prepare for Episode 2, cracks began to show. Where I once actually attempted to defend Jar Jar Binks, I now see how completely indefensible the character is. On the 12th viewing, Phantom Menace doesn't hold up. The film was efficiently crafted but lacked a soul. Episode 2: Attack of the Clones is also efficiently crafted but like Phantom Menace it too lacks a soul.

We rejoin the story as Senator Padme Amidala, the former queen of Naboo, arrives for an important vote on the formation of an army of the republic, an idea she is uncertain about. Upon her arrival there is an assassination attempt. Amidala survives and is put under the protection of Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor) and Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen). While Obi-Wan is assigned to hunt the bounty hunter who orchestrated the assassination attempt, Anakin is told to escort Amidala back to Naboo and keep her safe.

The setup is a little obvious but then Lucas merely uses characters as transitory figures in between awe-inspiring effects. So now Anakin and Amidala are alone and as we already know they fall in love. The inevitability of their relationship takes away from the love story, but not nearly as much as Christensen and Portman's lack of chemistry and Lucas's quickest way to get the point across scripting.

Christensen isn't bad but he's not great. Rather than communicating the tortured soul that would lead to the dark side, Christensen communicates, for the most part, with whining and crying. Christensen played a similarly whiny and tiresome character in last year's Life as A House, and at this rate it is difficult to envision him improving much beyond what we've seen. 

Natalie Portman also isn't very good at all in AOTC. Whereas in Phantom Menace Amidala had courage and intelligence, now Amidala has become full of angst and moony eyes over Anakin. Also, the fact that Amidala looks as if she hasn't aged is an unavoidable criticism. Ewan Mcgregor and Samuel L. Jackson are strong but are let down greatly by Lucas's transitory script which forgoes wit and intelligence in favor of spiritual platitude and dull transitions from special effect to special effect.

Of course, Attack of The Clones isn't about dialogue and characters, it's about action and, in that aspect, it doesn't disappoint. The special effects are spectacular, and while I still prefer real sets and actors, Lucas has done a remarkable job of creating a whole universe almost without them. The special effects give the film an epic feel, especially the many landscapes of Tatooine, Coruscant and Naboo that are fully realized places made from absolutely nothing.

Of course, the scene that will get people through the door is Yoda's fight scene. At the showing I attended Yoda's CGI confrontation with Christopher Lee's Count Dooku elicited loud cheers from the audience. I couldn't help but to get caught up a little myself.

AOTC isn't bad but it seems like two plus hours of exposition for the far more interesting Episode 3, the episode that completes Anakin Skywalker's transformation into Darth Vader. And while I would like to have seen better acting and dialogue, I have a feeling George is saving the really good stuff for the next film.

Movie Review: Unfaithful

Unfaithful (2002) 

Directed by Adrian Lyne

Written by Alvin Sargent, William Broyles Jr. 

Starring Richard Gere, Diane Lane, Olivier Martinez, Michelle Monaghan, Chad Lowe 

Release Date May 10th, 2002 

Published May 9th, 2002

I have never understood people's desperate need to get married and buy a house in the country. Being a city person, I just can't imagine leaving behind the constant motion for the quiet serenity. There is something very dull sounding about spending the rest of your life with someone so far away from where there are things to do. Maybe that is what drives Diane Lane's seemingly happy, married mother of one to risk her marriage on a stupid fling. Or maybe she just needed to be in a city.

In Unfaithful, Lane is Connie Sumner, mother of one son named Charlie (Malcolm in the Middle's youngest, Eric Per Sullivan) and wife of Edward (Richard Gere), a businessman whose business is never really explained. The marriage is typically mundane. Edward takes the train into work every day and comes home at the same time every day. Connie doesn't work as often as Edward; her job obtaining items for auctions brings her into the city maybe once a week. 

On one particularly windy day, as Connie is shopping for her sons ninth birthday, the wind literally blows her into the arms of a handsome rare books dealer named Paul Martel (Oliver Martinez). Paul is a good ten years younger than Diane, but his lust for her is quite obvious. Maybe having a younger man find her attractive (or maybe Paul's cheeseball game, in which he gives her a book that he has planted in a particular spot for just this occasion) something stirs in Connie and her intrigue will lead her to stray from her marriage.

Edward is not entirely clueless. In fact, after Connie's first meeting with Paul, Edward senses something is wrong. Eventually Edward's suspicions grow to the point where he hires a private detective to follow his wife. Of course, he finds out what he suspected is true and this leads to a plot twist that is surprising, not for shock value but for how studied and quiet it is.

Director Adrian Lyne does something interesting with Unfaithful. A less-skilled director would have made Unfaithful into a predictable thriller with either the husband or the lover as some kind of psycho who flies into a rage and tries to kill everyone. Lyne, however, is more interested in the effect on the marriage. All of the actions taken by the characters are a logical extension of real emotion and not mere plot manipulation. Even toward the end, when the film takes its twisted turn, the actions still feel realistic.

Diane Lane is receiving the best reviews of her career for this role, and they are deserved. Gere is also strong, but the film's best element is director Adrian Lyne, whose lovely camerawork and studied pacing brings a realistic portrait of a troubled marriage that shouldn't be troubled.

Unfaithful is an interesting portrait of the need to break routine and cause change in one's life even if that change is painful and unnecessary. No matter how much two people love each other, there is only so much they can do together without getting bored. That may not be romantic or moral, but anyone who has ever been in a long-term relationship can understand the need for personal time and space and the need to have something that is entirely your own. This doesn't justify cheating on a wife or a husband but a film like Unfaithful provides a logical explanation of this destructive behavior.

Movie Review Spider-Man

Spider-Man (2002)

Directed by Sam Raimi 

Written by David Koepp

Starring Tobey Maguire, James Franco, Kirsten Dunst, Willem Dafoe, Bruce Campbell, J.K Simmons

Release Date May May 3rd, 2002 

Published May 2nd, 2002 

I must admit that when I heard Tobey Maguire had won the role of my favorite superhero, Spiderman, I was quite disappointed. How could the Cider House Rules geek be a superhero?!? Well, I'm glad that I now must eat those words because Tobey Maguire is a terrific Spiderman and now, I can't imagine anyone else doing this role.

As the film begins, we are introduced to science geek Peter Parker, a shy introverted kid who’s only friend is Harry Osborn (James Franco) and nurses a crush on the girl-next-door Mary Jane Watson (Kirsten Dunst). I'm sure most people are familiar with the origin of Spiderman; he was bitten by a radioactive Spider and began to take on the spider’s traits. The ability to spin webs, strength 10 times normal and of course the amazing ability to crawl up walls.

Suddenly the shy kid is a muscled-up superhero and immediately looks for a way to cash in on his newfound abilities. He finds it in a wrestling ring with a huge guy named Bonesaw (The legendary Randy “The Macho Man” Savage). Peter, now calling himself Spiderman, defeats Bonesaw to win $3,000 dollars, however the promoter refuses to pay the full amount. The promoter’s office is then robbed, and Peter skips an opportunity to catch the thief. The decision to let the thief get away is a fateful one as it is the same thief who shoots and kills Peter's beloved Uncle Ben (Cliff Robertson).

Parallel with Peter Parker's story is that of Norman Osborn (Willem Dafoe), father of Peter's friend Harry and the president of Oscorp. With his company on the verge of losing a major military contract Osborn decides to test his controversial new weapon on himself. Needless to say, the experiment is a mistake and causes Osborn's personality to split between Norman and his new alter ego, the Green Goblin.

It's a classic comic book story and transfers to the screen extremely well thanks to the brilliant director Sam Raimi. Raimi could have just used his big budget for nothing but special effects, but instead he uses it to create a whole universe for Spiderman and his supporting cast to inhabit. Whether it's Aunt May and Uncle Ben's row house, Peter's High School, or even a professional wrestling ring, the comic book sheen that Raimi and his team brings to Spider-Man looks terrific. 

Maguire is excellent; he makes Spiderman and Peter Parker come to life. Maguire never plays him like your typical, all-powerful, unkillable superhero. He plays him as a human who can bleed and get angry and has to fight his emotions as well as his pursuers. Kirsten Dunst has it easy, she merely has to smile, and the audience falls for her the same way Peter Parker does. Dunst is a wonderful actress who builds great chemistry with Maguire. Willem Dafoe is effective as Osborn/Goblin, he certainly can play a believable psycho and in Spiderman he does so with only a little bit of scenery chewing.

It is rare that a summer blockbuster actually meets expectations; it is far rarer when one surpasses them. Spiderman does exactly that and is one of the best movies I've seen this year and one of the best blockbusters of all time.

Movie Review Hollywood Ending

Hollywood Ending (2002)

Directed by Woody Allen 

Written by Woody Allen

Starring Woody Allen, Tea Leoni, Treat Williams, Mark Rydell, Debra Messing

Release Date May 3rd, 2002 

Published May 2nd, 2002

Being from the Midwest, Woody Allen's humor is somewhat lost on me. Allen's humor is at times very specific to New Yorkers, which can be a turn off to Midwesterners like myself. In his latest film, Hollywood Ending, Allen isn't too New York. Oddly enough, the lifetime New Yorker is too Hollywood. 

In Hollywood Ending, Allen is Val Waxman, a washed-up former Oscar winning director now working on TV commercials in Canada. Val's luck is about to change with a little help from his sympathetic ex-wife Ellie (Tea Leoni). Ellie is now a Hollywood producer and is pushing her studio head fiancee (Treat Williams) to hire Val for a movie called "The City That Never Sleeps." Val is not an easy sell for the studio as he has a history of being difficult including outrageous demands of time, money and even daylight. After some prodding and a meeting with Val, the studio reluctantly agrees to hire him with the caveat that he can be fired at any moment.

So excited is Val at landing the job that he loses his sight. Val suffers from psychosomatic blindness. So, Val should probably drop out of the picture until he gets his sight back, but on the advice of his agent Al (Mark Rydell) he stays in the picture even though he thinks he should quit.

Val: "Don't you think people will notice a blind director?"

Al: "What? Are you kidding me? Have you seen these movies today?"

Allen has some terrific moments of physical comedy, built around his being blind and attempting to negotiate the movie's set. With the help of an on-set translator (Barney Cheng), hired to help Val communicate with his Chinese cameraman, Al and Val try to make it seem like everything is fine so that Val doesn't get fired. Eventually Ellie discovers Val's secret and then she too tries to help him pull it off.

The cast is rounded out by Debra Messing as Val's ditzy girlfriend and George Hamilton as a vapid movie producer. The cast is good as is most of Allen's script, but Hollywood Ending is troubled by a tendency to be too Hollywood. A lot of the film's humor is aimed at the film industry, which is a ripe place for satire. However, it is at times a little too inside the industry. Jokes about agents and references to the director's guild will be lost on casual film fans.

Allen still has a great ear for dialogue and his classic self-deprecating humor is well in place, but Hollywood Ending is just not funny enough. While Hollywood is a wonderful source for satire (see David Mamet's hysterical State & Main), Hollywood Ending just doesn't have enough good jokes. The humor is scattered throughout and in fact the film is funnier in scenes between Allen and Tea Leoni as they rehash their failed marriage. Allen is indeed a funny guy, maybe someday all of us will get the joke.

Movie Review: Deuces Wild

Deuces Wild (2002)

Directed by Scott Kalvert

Written by Christopher Gamble 

Starring Brad Renfro, Stephen Dorff, Fairuza Balk, James Franco, Johnny Knoxville, Matt Dillon, Norman Reedus, Deborah Harry, Frankie Muniz 

Release Date May 3rd, 2002

Published May 3rd, 2002

The troubles of actor Brad Renfro are well documented. Renfro has had multiple run-ins with the law and is also notoriously difficult to work with. What gets lost in Renfro's problems is the fact that the kid is one hell of an actor. Renfro has a Brandoesque persona, handsome with deep soulful eyes that emit a piercing gaze that cuts like a knife. Sadly, Renfro's troubles have kept him from the acting status his work aspires to and is likely the reason he is relegated to such B-release fare as Deuces Wild.

In Deuces, Renfro plays Bobby, a street tough who runs with a gang called the Vipers. The film begins in flashback with Bobby's brother Leon (Stephen Dorff) carrying the limp lifeless body of their brother Al. Al is dead from a drug overdose administered by rival gang members Marco (Norman Reedus) and Franky (Balthazar Getty), members of the Vipers.

Three years later Leon is the leader of the Deuces and Bobby is his thuggish enforcer. The Deuces are dedicated to keep drugs off their block. This comes into conflict with the Vipers and their leader Marco, fresh from jail and looking for revenge against Leon for sending him there. Neither gang can make a move without the approval of a local mobster named Fitzy and played semi convincingly by Matt Dillon.

Deuces Wild is as much a gang movie as it is a love story, as Bobby falls for a Vipers girl named Annie (Fairuza Balk). The courtship between Bobby and Annie would be sweet if it weren't steeped in cliché and bad 50's dialogue. In fact, the whole film is buried under clichés from West Side Story, The Outsiders, Lords of Flatbush and whatever greaser gang movie you can think of.

It gets worse, even with the problems of the ridiculous attempts to ape 50's lingo, the film introduces and dismisses subplot after subplot. Marco seeks revenge on Leon for sending him to jail, while we in the audience find out in a dream sequence that it wasn't Leon who did the deed, a piece of information that makes no difference whatsoever and is never resolved. Then there is Leon's romance with Betsy (Soprano's actress Drea Demateo), which exists solely to provide Leon with something to do while not beating the crap out of people in fistfights.

And why does Leon feel so bad about everything he does? Where is the commitment to the cause? In one scene he watches as the Vipers burn down his block. In another scene he admonishes his gang for acting against a pair of drug dealers moving into their territory. It was interesting to note that gangs of 50's Brooklyn only controlled one block. Literally one block! So, the Deuces kept drugs off of one city block, but if drugs were sold right around the corner, it was all good.

Renfro for his part is uncomfortable with the lame attempts at 50's dialogue, but still communicates with body language and his laser stare. This kid is a contender, as he showed in Apt Pupil and his Tour De force performance in Bully. With Deuces Wild, Renfro signals an attempt to move into mainstream Hollywood roles. Here's hoping he develops the same eye for Hollywood material as he has for his indie work, and that Deuces Wild is just a minor annoyance on the way to an Oscar nomination.

Movie Review Life or Something Like It

Life or Something Like It (2002) 

Directed by Stephen Herek, 

Written by Dana Stevens

Starring Angelina Jolie, Edward Burns, Stockard Channing, Tony Shalhoub 

Release Date April 29th, 2002 

Published April 29th, 2002  

It seems there is a new Angelina Jolie story every week. Whether it's making out with her brother, entering into an ill-advised marriage or feuding with her celebrity father Jon Voight, Angelina Jolie can't do anything without making the papers. One is left to wonder, when will Jolie's movies become as notable as her personal life? Her latest work, Life or Something Like It, is another step in the wrong direction, a film only notable for the fact that it is worse than her last film.

Life finds Angelina Jolie under a poorly fitting blonde wig as Lanie Kerrigan, a TV features reporter at a Seattle TV station. Like any conventional movie character Lanie has it all, looks, money and a wealthy baseball star boyfriend. Indeed life is perfect, until her boss reteams her with her ex-boyfriend, a cameraman named Pete (Edward Burns). Lanie and Pete had some sort of previous relationship though the film is unclear about what exactly happened, we do know they don't like each other, which in movie parlance means they will end up together. (That, by the way, is not a spoiler. If you didn't know they were ending up together please purchase my book Romantic Comedies for Dummies).

Lanie and Pete argue and fight until they do a story about a street performer who some believe can tell the future. Tony Shalhoub plays Prophet Jack who tells Lanie she has only a week to live. Lanie does the only thing any rational person could do in that situation, she believes him. If a crazy homeless guy told you that you were going to die of course you would believe him, right?. From there the film devolves into your typical romantic comedy cliches without providing one original moment.

I can't say I was disappointed in Life Or Something Like It, going in I knew what I was seeing. I had hoped that an actress of Angelina Jolie's talent could provide a more interesting performance even in such a conventional romantic comedy. She doesn't. And what of Edward Burns, wasn't this guy supposed to be something special? Since his debut in the surprisingly good Brothers McMullan, Burns had been hailed as the next Woody Allen. He has yet to show the talent that was expected of him.

Director Stephen Herek, who's RockStar has become a guilty pleasure movie for me, returns to his genre safe work that helped ruin Eddie Murphy's career (Holy Man). Herek has the same lame crowd-pleasing instincts that mark the worst Hollywood hacks. Nothing challenging, nothing different, everything safely market tested for proper effectiveness. Honestly this kind of filmmaking turns my stomach.

Say what you will but I am tired of this cookie cutter Hollywood swill like Life Or Something Like It. I realize that not every film can be a genre buster but shouldn't every movie aspire to something other than just box office?

Movie Review My Big Fat Greek Wedding

My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002) 

Directed by Joel Zwick 

Written by Nia Vardolas 

Starring Nia Vardalos Michael Constantine, John Corbett, Lanie Kazan 

Release Date April 19th, 2002 

Published April 18th, 2002 

My heritage is Irish, which by stereotype means I love potatoes and lots of alcohol. I do like potatoes but I don't drink. Not everyone lives into a stereotype. Nia Vardalos, the star of My Big Fat Greek Wedding, also doesn't live up to the stereotype of a Greek woman. She is supposed to marry a nice Greek boy, have lots of children and cook until she dies. Nia's character, Toula Portokalos, aspires to be more than the stereotype.

Wedding is the story of Toula Portokalos, a frumpy depressed waitress at her family's restaurant called  Dancing Zorba's. Her father Gus (Michael Constantine) is a very loving man who believes Windex can cure almost any ailment. Gus wants Toula to marry a Greek boy and have Greek babies. Toula would rather go to college and learn about computers and get out from under her family for a little while. Toula's mother Maria (Lanie Kazan) understands her daughter’s ambition and coerces Gus into letting her go.

After a makeover from her frump phase into the attractive girl she had always hidden, Toula goes to college and decides to become a travel agent. After getting a job in her Aunt's travel agency Toula meets Ian (John Corbett). They have immediate chemistry and before long they are ready to head down the aisle. If only it were that simple. First Ian must get past Toula's father, a difficult task because Ian isn't Greek. Then Toula must meet Ian's parents who are WASPs, White Anglo Saxon Protestants. In other words, the Whitest people on the planet.

The problem is I'm not sure what this film was aiming for. Were the scenes with Toula's Aunt played by Andrea Martin meant to be over the top or was she supposed to be taken seriously? The way Martin plays the role it's difficult to tell.

Some of the characters also live into the various stereotypes, while our leads Vardoulias and Corbett play everything straight. Maybe that was the attempt; juxtapose Ian and Toula against the more stereotypical characters in order to show what they are attempting to overcome. If that was the attempt I'm stretching to get it. The film's tone defies that explanation a couple times throughout the film.

The film is still very amusing at times, like when Ian's parents are introduced to Toula's family and extended family and they meet Toula's six cousins and nephews all named Nick and her cousin Nikki. Also, Toula's grandmother, who was brought over from the old country and is always trying to go back.

The laughs are there and so is the heart. Despite the stereotypes each character is shown to have a great heart and is written with love. The film is drawn from Vardoulas' own life so she does genuinely love each of these characters, so her broad interpretation of each character is done with love. My Big Fat Greek Wedding is a light, fun little film with some solid laughs. I recommend you check it out, especially if you are Greek.

Movie Review: The Sweetest Thing

The Sweetest Thing (2002) 

Directed by Roger Kumble 

Written by Nancy Pimental 

Starring Cameron Diaz, Thomas Jane, Selma Blair, Christina Applegate

Release Date April 12th, 2002

The battle for the title of Worst Film of 2002 is a three-film race so far. There is John Mctiernan's expression of audience hatred, Rollerball, Dominique Swain's spiraling career suicide in Tart, and now Cameron Diaz's inexplicable The Sweetest Thing. This bizarre, gross, deeply failing comedy somehow manages to make the terrific Cameron Diaz look like a terrible person. That should tell you all you need to know about The Sweetest Thing. 

The Sweetest Thing begins in documentary style with guys talking straight to the camera about a girl named Christina who broke their hearts. This pre-credit sequence seems tacked on as if the director realized that the script didn't bother to introduce the character Cameron Diaz is playing so he had to do something desperate to get some exposition into the movie to provide comic credentials for Diaz's character. 

Once we are into the actual film we meet Christina (Cameron Diaz), your typical flighty movie chick dancing in the streets of San Francisco. Where are these pixie-ish girls who dance in the streets with no regard for the world around them? Oh right, mental hospitals.  Christina and her friend Courtney (Christina Applegate) meet up at Christina's apartment where their friend Jane (Selma Blair) is crying over a lost boyfriend. Christina and Courtney give her the typical advice, forget about Mr. Right and go get Mr. Right Now. How clever! 

The three friends go to a club where Christina meets Peter Donahue (Thomas Jane). Initially, Christina and Peter are adversarial but then they keep meeting and grow to like each other. Peter eventually invites Christina to a party but she decides not to go. Why? Well, if she goes, we wouldn't have this idiot plot where Christina has to try and find this great guy she met a this party. Oh, and she didn't get his phone number either for the same reason. 

One of my movie pet peeves is when an entire film hinges on a situation easily resolved by a brief conversation but left unresolved in service of the plot. In The Sweetest Thing all they had to do is what anyone in that situation would have done, either go to the party or exchange phone numbers. If they did that though we wouldn't have the lame road sequence where the girls have wacky things happen, like Christina's discovery of what a glory hole is. Oh so clever.

I doubt the glory hole has ever been used for a good laugh in a film, there is probably a reason for that, but The Sweetest Thing doesn't stop there. The film includes a sequence where the girls start a restaurant singalong about penis size, and poor abused Selma Blair has a scene where let's just say something gets stuck somewhere.

Writer Nancy Pimental and Director Roger Kumble want to roll around in the same mud as There's Something About Mary and the American Pie movies, but they forget what it was that made those movies funny. There's Something About Mary and American Pie 1 & 2 were funny because the disgusting jokes were in context and framed against characters who earned our sympathy. The Sweetest Thing never bothers to introduce the characters, they expect that we will like them because we like the stars. That was not enough for me.

The Sweetest Thing is legitimately hard to watch. Rather than relating to the characters I was embarrassed for the stars trapped in the film’s humiliating and stupid situations. The Sweetest Thing is a complete embarrassment. 

Movie Review: Changing Lanes

Changing Lanes (2002) 

Directed by Roger Mitchell 

Written by Michael Tolkin 

Starring Ben Affleck, Samuel L Jackson, Toni Collette, Sidney Pollack, William Hurt, Amanda Peet 

Release Date April 12th, 2002 

Published April 11th, 2002 

Each and every one of us has been there. We've all done it. All of us have done something that to this day we still regret. Be it cheating, lying or stealing, often all three at the same time. Ethically there is no justification for these actions but at the time it was what suited our needs and we were able to rationalize it to the point where we can live with the consequences. It is such a moral quandary that is at the heart of the gripping drama Changing Lanes.

Lanes stars Ben Affleck as high-powered attorney Gavin Banek who, while on his way to court to file some very important papers, has a minor fender bender with a man named Doyle Gipson played by Samuel L. Jackson. Gipson is also on his way to court, he is trying to save his marriage by buying a home and therefore convincing his wife that he has changed. You see Gipson is a recovering alcoholic. Fate is a funny thing and Gavin, in a hurry, tries to pay Doyle off to forget what happened. Gipson refuses, so Banek takes off and leaves Doyle on the side of the road. When Doyle asks for a ride Gavin replies "better luck next time". What Gavin doesn't know is that he has lost his precious file and Doyle has it.

This setup could have lead to a series of action movie clichés like gunplay and fistfights and vows of revenge, but director Roger Michell and writers Michael Tolkin and Chap Taylor choose instead to make a more grounded film. They allow the characters bruised egos and bravado to carry the story through its series of plausible arcs.

Affleck has never been better. I thought I might have a hard time taking him seriously, as by reputation he doesn't take himself seriously. And for the first half of the film I was having a hard time believing him. However through a series of well written scenes and strong supporting actors (Toni Collette as Gavin's colleague and former lover, Amanda Peet as Gavin's wife and director Sydney Pollock as his boss), Affleck proves he can carry a drama as well as he can do comedy.

Sam Jackson is easy to take for granted. Myself, I walk into his movies and assume he'll be great and he hasn't proved me wrong yet. In Changing Lanes, Jackson plays a man who desperately wants to be a good person but can't resist trouble. As William Hurt as Doyle's AA sponsor says, Doyle is addicted to chaos.

Changing Lanes shows the thin line between right and wrong and does so with honesty and a clear vision. Right and wrong are merely choices with morals and ethics as the lowest common denominator. The film never allows anyone to become a villain. Each character is able to explain the motivation behind their seemingly unethical acts and they do so in ways that are actually very understandable. 

Amanda Peet's character is most effective at getting this point across, explaining her motivations that are on the surface sad and depressing but the underlying reason is a plausible decision she has made to be comfortable instead of happy. In the end there is very little black and white just a lot of gray. We would all like to do the right thing all the time and expect others to do so as well, but we don't live in a fairy tale.

Changing Lanes is no fairy tale, it is an honest observation of humanity, wart and all. Few films have the courage to do what this film does. It avoids formula and actually attempts to say something. For those of you who are just looking for a popcorn movie you may think this to be a little heavy but trust me, the film as a whole is as entertaining as it's message is resonant.

Movie Review National Lampoon's Van Wilder

National Lampoon's Van Wilder (2002) 

Directed by Walt Becker

Written by Brent Goldberg

Starring Ryan Reynolds, Tim Matheson, Todd Black, Tara Reid, Simon Helberg, Aaron Paul, Kal Penn, Tom Everett Scott

Release Date April 5th, 2002 

Published April 4th, 2002 

Another college comedy, how original, I mean we haven't seen that in what, a week? 2 weeks? Oh, but this college comedy is from National Lampoon, the people behind Chevy Chase's career meltdown and a long list of tremendously unfunny comedies. Save for the 1977 masterpiece Animal House ironically also a college based comedy.

Van Wilder (Ryan Reynolds) is the big man on campus at fictional Coolidge College and has been for 7 years. Unfortunately for Van, his father (Animal House star Tim Matheson) is no longer willing to pay for his tuition. This means Van and his wacky sidekicks must find a way to pay for Van to stay. This leads to plots, schemes, parties, topless girls and drunken mayhem, as if you could make a college comedy without those things. The film, having covered the college comedy requirements, now must add a love interest and a nemesis. Enter Tara Reid as a journalism major doing a story on Van and her evil frat-guy boyfriend (Todd Black).

I have spent the better part of this review running this movie down when in actuality there was a lot about it I liked. The film’s star, Ryan Reynolds, is amazingly charismatic with impeccable comic timing and a unique way of delivering a line. Even if what he's saying isn't meant to be funny it still makes you smile. Tara Reid may not be the most believable journalism major but as the subject of every man's lust she perfectly fits the bill.

In the legend and lore of college comedy, Animal House and the little seen PCU run as the best of the genre, and the recent Sorority Boys, falls as the absolute worst. I would say Van Wilder falls somewhere in the middle with Rodney Dangerfield's Back To School. It's not great but it's not horribly unwatchable. On a side note, Van Wilder is not for the squeamish. A scene with a character masturbating a dog is rather disgusting but its aftermath may drive some of you out of the theater.

Is Van Wilder worth seeing? Yes, but wait for the DVD, which will likely come within the next 3 or 4 months.

Movie Review High Crimes

High Crimes (2002)

Directed by Carl Franklin 

Written by Yuri Zetser

Starring Ashley Judd, Morgan Freeman, James Caviezel, Adam Scott, Amanda Peet, Michael Shannon

Release Date April 5th, 2002 

Published April 5th, 2002 

The team of Ashley Judd and Morgan Freeman is a strong one. In Kiss the Girls their chemistry made what could have been a mundane suspense thriller into an entertaining suspense thriller. Thankfully. Judd and Freeman bring that same chemistry to High Crimes.

As we join the story Claire Kubik (Judd), is rolling out of bed and searching for her husband Tom (Jim Caviezel). The two are trying to have a baby. Claire is a lawyer; her most recent case has gotten her on TV and dangerously raised her profile. After getting her client off on a technicality her house is broken into. The next night as she and her husband are walking home and the FBI jumps out of nowhere and arrests them. It seems that as the police were investigating the break in her husband’s fingerprints came up as a match with a man wanted by military justice for the execution-style killings that took place during a military raid in El Salvador.

Claire wants to defend her husband but finds military courts to be far different than the court she is used to. So Claire employs the help of an ex-military lawyer named Charlie Grimes (Freeman). Also on the team is a naive young military lawyer played by Adam Scott and Claire's sister played by Amanda Peet.

Ashley Judd is very strong in High Crimes, her character through most of the film is never predictable. Though at the end she has one of those rather obvious but necessary scenes that you must have in average clockwork thrillers. Judd is better than the material she's given, which you could say about most of the films she has made. One of these days she will get a script as strong as she is.

Not that this script is bad, writer Yuri Zeltser takes what isn't very original and twists it just enough to make it interesting. Though the trailer gives away too much (I rented it already knowing the ending intuitively), there is just enough suspense to make the film entertaining. Of course the film is blessed to have such a sensational cast to carry out its clockwork plot.

High Crimes is indeed another by the book suspense thriller, set apart only by the great acting. Director Carl Franklin wrings just enough good dialogue and suspense out of the thin script to make an entertaining Friday night rental.

Movie Review: Big Trouble

Big Trouble (2002) 

Directed by Barry Sonnenfeld 

Written by Robert Ramsey, Matthew Stone, Dave Barry 

Starring Tim Allen, Rene Russo, Ben Foster, Stanley Tucci, Johnny Knoxville, Tom Sizemore, Jason Lee

Release Date April 5th, 2002 

Published October 14th, 2002 

Of the many things to be lost in the shuffle after 9/11, one of the strangest was the movie Big Trouble. 

A comedy based on a book by humorist Dave Barry and directed by Men In Black’s Barry Sonnenfeld, Big Trouble stars Tim Allen as a Dave Barry-like newspaper columnist who becomes involved with a plot to buy a nuclear weapon. Because the nuclear weapon was at a certain point in the film on an airplane, the film became a hot potato and was pulled from it’s September 2001 release. After nearly 8 months on the shelf the film finally made it to the big screen on April 5th and tanked badly. Now the film is available on DVD, and it deserves a second chance.

Tim Allen stars as Eliot Arnold who, after being fired from his job writing for a newspaper, takes up advertising only to find his sense of humor unappreciated by clients who believe naked flesh is the best way to sell products. Outside of work Eliot is dealing with a divorce and a teenage son who thinks he is a loser. Ben Foster is Eliot’s son Matt who is constantly making fun of Dad for driving a Geo Metro, a perfectly Dave Barry bit.

Matt is pursuing a girl in his school named Jenny Herk, whose father, Arthur (Stanley Tucci), is jerk who is in trouble with the mob. Jenny’s mother, Anna (Rene Russo), is slowly realizing that she hates Arthur and can’t remember why she married the jerk. After Matt attempts to shoot Jenny at her house with a water gun as part of a twisted high school game, Eliot comes to pick him up and he and Anna hit it off. 

Meanwhile Arthur is being pursued by two hitmen, played by Dennis Farina and Jack Kehler, and Arthur is attempting to get back at the mob by purchasing a nuclear weapon from a pair of Russian bar owners. As Arthur is making his purchase at the bar, two moron thieves, Johnny Knoxville and Tom Sizemore, decide to rob the place and end up stealing the nuclear weapon. All of these people come together when the morons kidnap Arthur and go to his place to rob it. 

Also in the cast are Patrick Warburton and Janeane Garofalo as cops, and a very funny cameo by Andy Richter as a bumbling mall security guard. Also, Jason Lee as the film's narrator Puggy, a homeless guy who witnesses everything while living in a tree outside the Herk’s home. Let us not forget Heavy D and Omar Epps as FBI agents with an executive order that allows them to do anything they want.

The film is often very funny, but it’s also very muddled. There are numerous moments where the film's story could have been tightened up. For instance, though I thought Andy Richter’s cameo was funny, it has nothing to do with the main story and easily could have been cut without affecting the central story. Director Barry Sonnenfeld likely had to keep the Richter cameo just to keep the film feature length. The film is a mere 89 minutes long.

Despite the running time and the occasionally lackadaisical scripting, Big Trouble is still a very funny movie. It’s all in the dialogue, screenwriters Robert Ramsey and Matthew Stone smartly retain most of Dave Barry’s original dialogue. It is the dialogue and the spirited cast that make Big Trouble so much fun. Given the release date shenanigans and the unfortunate 9/11 related issues, it's a wonder that Big Trouble made it to release at all. Now that it is available on home video, I hope people forget the trouble and give this movie a chance. 

Movie Review No Such Thing

No Such Thing (2002) 

Directed by Hal Hartley

Written by Hal Hartley 

Starring Sarah Polley, Helen Mirren, Julie Christie, Baltasar Kormakur

Release Date March 29th, 2002 

Published July 8th, 2002 

Director Hal Hartley is known for his unusual, free-form style of filmmaking. When Hartley’s style is really on to something  good the result can be brilliant. But when it's wrong it is often massively so. Such was the case of Hartley’s 2001 release, No Such Thing. The film is an absolute catastrophe. It’s a meandering and often pointless feature desperately in search of a purpose. 

The film stars the lovely Sarah Polley as Beatrice, a naive young television intern whose fiancée, a reporter, disappears while doing an investigative report in Iceland. Beatrice's Uber-bitch boss, played by  Helen Mirren, and credited only as ‘The Boss’, wants to exploit the boyfriend’s disappearance based upon the sensationalistic rumor that a real-life monster killed the TV crew.

Is the monster some sort of legend or does he really exist? Beatrice offers to fly to Iceland to investigate and is given the assignment but on the way there she is nearly killed in a plane crash. Once again, The Boss sees a story she can exploit. The one survivor of the plane crash is her intern so she naturally assumes she will have an exclusive. Beatrice however, refuses to be interviewed so The Boss fires her. 

After 2 years under the care of the kindly Dr. Anna (Julie Christie), and with miracle surgery, Beatrice learns to walk again and continues her journey to Iceland where she encounters the Monster. Former Robocop 3 star Robert John Burke is the extremely put-upon monster who would be fine if people would just leave him alone. He isn't as psychotic as he is annoyed, so if killing a couple of people here and there will buy him some peace then he'll kill. 

Arriving in the village where her fiance and his crew disappeared, Beatrice is convinced to drink herself into a stupor by the locals. Then, they strip her and leave her as an offering to The Beast who’d really rather be left alone than have to kill anyone.  From there, Beatrice and the Monster form an unusual bond, which leads them to New York and the media spotlight and inklings of the monster’s origin.

If my plot description is convoluted you should see the movie. I've seen more coherent storylines in untranslated original language anime cartoons. Hal Hartley both wrote and directed No Such Thing and he appears to want to make a statement about our over-saturated media. However, Hartley tells the story in such a way that he is just beating the audience over the head with his own personal dislikes regarding the media. 

The film’s resolution, if you could call it that, is an annoyingly stupid metaphor, a statement about our society that is so obvious I'm stretching to call it a metaphor. The dialogue practically screams what Hartley should be saying much more quietly. Media bad. No subtlety, no thoughtful statement about how consumer society and a 24 hour news cycle have combined to create a poisonous public discourse. No, No Such Thing is basically Hartley shouting in your ear, MEDIA BAD! 

Not even the incredible Sarah Polley can make a dent in the mess that is No Such Thing. In this film she's called upon to dull her best features, her wry intelligence and sharp wit in service of Hartley’s hammer blow approach to metaphor. Would you tell Meryl Streep not to do an accent? Then don't tell Sarah Polley to not be acerbic. Polley, when she was acting, before she moved to the director’s chair, was one of our sharpest actors and seeing her be dull in No Such Thing is a major letdown. 

I will say this for Hal Hartley, when he fails he fails spectacularly. No Such Thing is quite clearly a swing for the fences. Unfortunately, he struck out.

Movie Review: Death to Smoochy

Death to Smoochy (2002) 

Directed by Danny Devito

Written by Adan Resnick 

Starring Edward Norton, Robin Williams, Catherine Keener, Jon Stewart, Pam Ferris

Release Date March 29th, 2002

Published March 28th, 2002

I'm not one of those people who harbor a visceral hatred for kids show hosts. Frankly if you feel the need to, even jokingly, take the life of one of the Teletubbies, you need to examine your anger issues. Nonetheless if you are one of the degenerates who sign online petitions to have Barney drawn and quartered, you may be just the audience for Death To Smoochy.

Smoochy is, at first, the story of kid’s show icon Rainbow Randall. On TV, Randall is a paragon of childish virtue and off-screen he is a boozing, drugging womanizer who makes cash under the table selling prime space on his show for parents who want their kid on TV. After the IRS catches up to Randall, he loses his show and eventually his mind. Enter Sheldon Mopes AKA Smoochy the Rhino played by Edward Norton. Smoochy is a good-hearted vegetarian who spends his free time performing his unusual kid’s songs at methadone clinics. After being discovered by a TV executive played by Catherine Keener Smoochy moves onto primetime TV and becomes the sick obsession of Randall.

There are also subplots involving Jon Stewart's network executive and Danny Devito's talent agent conspiring with an evil charity organization to put on an ice show and something to do with Irish mobsters. Honestly once you get to the mobsters, the film has become so incoherent you don't care why they are in the movie. There are a few funny moments in Smoochy, especially Norton's weird and creepy kids songs that I pray are on the film’s soundtrack. Also, the film’s ice show climax is so amazingly elaborate and over the top it almost saves the picture.

Unfortunately those moments lack the proper context to be truly funny, and the films narrative structure, or lack thereof, ruins any of the films remaining comic potential.

Though Norton and Williams are funny, the supporting performances are not, especially Keener whose innate intelligence renders her unable to sell the film’s broadly comic setups. In the end, Death To Smoochy is an occasionally funny mess that wants to be a dark comedy, but turns out to be just plain dark.