Movie Review: Two Weeks Notice

Two Weeks Notice (2002) 

Directed by Marc Lawrence

Written by Marc Lawrence 

Starring Sandra Bullock, Hugh Grant, Alica Witt, Robert Klein

Release Date December 20th, 2002 

Published December 19th, 2002

Ugh! Another romantic comedy.

Though this romantic comedy is made slightly more appealing by it's stars, a pair of the genre's veteran players have provided some of its brightest moments. However, no matter how good the stars are, the genre is dying. That Hollywood thinks that all they have to do with this genre is dress it up with different stars is insulting. Two Weeks Notice is yet another formula romantic comedy, a slave to genre routine.

Sandra Bullock stars as Lucy Kelson, a legal aid lawyer with a social conscience that as we join the story has her hanging on a wrecking ball attempting to prevent it from demolishing an old building. There is a large "W" on the wrecking ball signifying the construction company's owner, George Wade, played by Hugh Grant. Wade is Grant's typically foppish ladies’ man, with a different girl everynight and no significant relationships. After George's brother and partner dress him down for yet again sleeping with company's top lawyer, George is forced to hire a lawyer with more qualifications than her ability to fill out her top.

This is when George meets Lucy as she is approaching him to oppose another of his construction jobs. George knows of Lucy from the number of run-ins she has had with his construction crews. After learning that Lucy is Harvard educated and hates him, meaning she's qualified and less likely to sleep with him, he offers her the job as the company's top lawyer. Lucy doesn't want the job, but after George promises to give her the power to kill a particular construction project in her Brooklyn neighborhood she accepts the job.

The key to making this overly familiar story work is the chemistry between the stars and snappy banter. Two Weeks Notice has a little of both but still clings to genre clichés. After Lucy quits because George is to demanding, she is asked to train her replacement June played by Alicia Witt. Of course, June has her eye on George, which leads Lucy to be jealous. George for his part does a good job of being clueless about both Lucy and June's obvious attraction to him.

For my money, star power is not nearly enough for me to recommend a movie. Do I go to a movie to see a star, certainly. There are a number of movie stars who when they are in a film I lay down my hard earned money to see them. However no matter who that Star is and how much I have enjoyed their work, no one gets a pass because of familiarity. Hugh Grant is one of those stars I pay to see but I will not give a pass to Two Weeks Notice just because I like him.

Two Weeks Notice is yet another predictable, genre slave decorated with star power to distract from the clichéd story and romance.

Movie Review Star Trek Nemesis

Star Trek Nemesis (2002) 

Directed by Stuart Baird 

Written by John Logan

Starring Patrick Stewart, Tom Hardy, Jonathan Frakes, Brent Spiner, LeVar Burton, Gates McFadden

Release Date December 13th, 2002 

Published December 12th, 2002 

I was a huge fan of the Star Trek: Next Generation TV Series. That is, until, the first movie was released. Generations was not a bad movie but it lacked the depth of the series. In fact, the film version seemed to brush aside the elements that made the series so interesting in favor of lame sci-fi action that dominates most films of the genre. Granted the series intelligent studied style that only resorted to action and effects when it had to probably doesn't translate well to the screen. So, if you have to change it so drastically why do it at all?

The second film in the series was a little better with it's adherence to a storyline begun on the TV series, but it too resorted to effects and action that we've seen dozens of times in sci-fi movies. Then came Insurrection, a true lowpoint as Trek made it's first dip into campy self parody. Cheesy effects, performances and action, Insurrection should have killed the series. Yet here we are again with another Next Generation movie and the continuing de-evolution of a once great series.

Nemesis reunites the familiar faces of the once great TV series including Captain Jean Luc Picard (Patrick Stewart), Commander Riker (Jonathon Frakes), Deanna Troy (Marina Sirtis), Data (Brent Spiner), Worff (Michael Dorn) and Jordy (Levar Burton). The crew of the Enterprise begins Nemesis celebrating the marriage of Commander Riker and Deanna Troy, a relationship that has evolved from the TV series. After a coup in the Romulan senate, Captain Picard and his crew are ordered to go to the Romulan neutral zone to begin possible peace talks with the new ruling regime from the Romulan neighbor planet Remus. Once in the neutral zone Picard and members of his crew beam aboard the Remus ship to speak to the leader Praetor Shinzon (Tom Hardy). It is quickly revealed that Picard was called here not for peace negotiations, but so Shinzon can reveal himself as Picard's clone.

All of this in the films first 20 minutes, the remaining screen time is dominated by dull sci-fi action and shockingly cheesy dialogue and effects. It's no surprise that Shinzon plans on blowing up the Earth and destroying the Federation, but then there are no surprises in Nemesis.

What is so shocking about Nemesis is how director Stuart Baird manages to make his talented cast look bad. The bad acting, cheesy dialogue and special effects scenes are worthy of Ed Wood. Not all the effects are that bad, in fact some of the effects are very good. However, effects that happened inside the ship (Sparks coming from engines, people pretending to fall down, forcing the poor cast to sit in their chairs and shake themselves as if they were being battered by unseen blasts) are just sad.

How is it that in the 25 some years since the first Star Trek film that none of these geniuses has been able to create a shield that doesn't degrade by 50 percent after one or two blasts? When will Jordy fix that stupid core so it doesn't blow up so quickly leaving the crew completely vulnerable? As many times as the ship has broken down and been busted up I would fire my engineer for not making some kind of improvement.


Poor Patrick Stewart. Once he was a Shakespearean trained actor and now the words “full power to forward shields” will be on his tombstone. In addition, what happened to Jonathon Frakes? At one time his Commander Riker was an oddly stoic guy with a strange sense of humor. In the past two films he has became an over the top cheeseball ham. Two movies into the Next Generation films and Frakes' charming grin is now a mask of hamminess.

The downward spiral of Next Generation from smart TV show to dull movie series is a perfect example of how money corrupts. On TV, Next Generation was forced to come up with smart scripts and stories that didn't rely on special effects because they didn't have the budget for it. Now on the big screen and flush with cash to do the effects they couldn't do on TV, the series is dominated by the effects.

Star Trek: Nemesis is not a disappointment but rather the continuation of disappointments that has been growing since the TV show was shoved onto the big screen.

Movie Review Maid in Manhattan

Maid in Manhattan (2002) 

Directed by Wayne Wang 

Written by Kevin Wade 

Starring Jennifer Lopez, Ralph Fiennes, Natasha Richardson, Stanley Tucci, Bob Hoskins

Release Date December 13th, 2002 

Published December 13th, 2002 

The romantic comedy is dead!

Or if it isn't it should be.

I'm sorry, I know people love the genre of beautiful stars falling in love in magical ways but the genre’s conventions and cliches have made the genre pass and predictable. That is not to say that romance in film is dead but that Hollywood needs to come up with a different way of presenting it. The Cinderella syndrome begun with 1990's Pretty Woman has to stop.

I realize the Cinderella-Prince Charming dynamic is one that women have fallen in love with but even the most forgiving of female filmgoers must acknowledge the genre's shortcomings. Its predictability, sugary cuteness and desperate reliance on coincidence and misunderstanding are now beyond grating. Case in point, the new Jennifer Lopez-Ralph Fiennes romance Maid In Manhattan, yet another Pretty Woman retread right off the romantic comedy assembly line.

J.Lo stars as Marisa, a maid at an opulent New York hotel, where the rich and famous make their temporary homes. Marisa is a divorced mother of one of those typically precocious romantic comedy kids named Ty, played by Tyler Posey. In typical genre fashion, Ty has a unique quality that will become important in the meeting of the two leads. Tyler loves politics, he loves it so much that as a present his mom buys him copies of the Richard Nixon White House tapes and Ty has memorized the voting record of New York Assemblyman Christopher Marshall (Ralph Fiennes). 

Marshall is staying at the hotel where Marisa works and of course he meets Ty and is impressed with his political awareness. Also staying at the hotel is a flighty rich blonde woman named Caroline (Miranda Richardson) who asks Marisa to return a very expensive outfit for her while she is out for the day. Of course Marisa can't resist the urge to try on the outfit while in the Hotel Suite and wouldn't you know that this is the moment when Ty introduces her to Chris. And what a shock when he mistakes her for a guest instead of a maid and invites her and Ty to come with him while he walks his dog in the park. Of course she could avoid the confusion by just coming clean and admitting the truth but then we wouldn't have a movie.

Of course it wouldn't be a romantic comedy without wacky supporting characters and a scene where the characters and wacky supporting cast dance and sing though no music is playing except that which is on the soundtrack. How do they hear it? They dance and sing and then it's time for a montage of makeovers and dresses, because of course Marisa has a ball to attend.

After all, a movie about a Senator who falls in love with a maid without a mistaken identity plot and a lot of near misses where he almost discovers the truth wouldn't be much of a romantic comedy. These stupid plot developments and false crises are tiresome and insulting to anyone who has ever seen a movie before.

Golly do you think when Chris finds out that Marisa is just a maid he will be upset? Do you think that he will get over it quickly and the two will live happily ever after? Do you think the sky is blue and the Earth is round?

Memo to Jennifer Lopez: What Happened? You were so good in Out of Sight, The Cell and Angel Eyes. In each of those movies you showed real acting chops. This is your third role in a row you have played on autopilot, Wedding Planner and Enough previously. There is hope for you yet but another turkey like this one and you may want to stick with the singing career.

Romance in movies is not dead; it is at the moment merely enslaved by cliché and creative laziness. There are still rays of hope, films like Secretary and Chasing Amy both take elements of traditional romantic comedy then find ways to tweak them and make them new, exciting, intelligent and funny. There is still hope but with each Maid In Manhattan or Sweet Home Alabama that hope dims just a little.

Movie Review The Hot Chick

The Hot Chick (2002) 

Directed by Tom Brady 

Written by Tom Brady, Rob Schneider 

Starring Rob Schneider, Rachel McAdams, Anna Faris, Matthew Lawrence, Eric Christian Olson 

Release Date December 13th, 2002 

Published December 13th, 2002 

To call a Rob Schneider movie juvenile and stupid is like looking at the sky and saying it's blue or saying water is wet. When you go see a Rob Schneider movie, you have to expect low-grade humor aimed at the 14-year-old-male demographic. Expect there to be a multitude of fart jokes, and various other references to bodily functions. There will also be genuinely funny moments and a cameo by Adam Sandler. So far, this formula has yet to yield an entertaining picture, but with the small number of laughs culled from his latest effort, The Hot Chick, the potential for a truly funny movie exists.

In The Hot Chick, a gorgeous high school cheerleader named Jessica (Rachel McAdams) rules her school with a scathing wit and disregard for her classmates' feelings. Jessica's life is perfect: she is head cheerleader, likely to be the prom queen, and she is in love with the star quarterback (Matthew Lawrence). Of course, karma has it in for this chick and it strikes when she steals a pair of ancient earrings from an unusual shop in the mall. The earrings' backstory, explained at the beginning of the film, is that they belonged to a woman who was promised into a marriage she did not want. 

Therefore, she uses the earrings' mystical power to trade bodies with a peasant girl. After Jessica loses one of the earrings and it is found by a petty criminal named Clive (Schneider), she wakes up in Clive's body and vice versa. Desperate for help, she seeks out her best friend April (Scary Movie's Anna Faris) for help. Not surprisingly April doesn't believe the strange man in front of her is her best friend but after some intimate details are shared, April realizes that this is indeed Jessica.

We have seen this set up before. In fact, in the 1980s, the body switching stuff was a genre unto its own. Anyone remember Kirk Cameron and Dudley Moore in Like Father Like Son or Judge Reinhold and Fred Savage in Vice Versa or George Burns and Charlie Schlatter in 18 Again? (And the list goes on and on.) Schneider and his co-writer/director Tom Brady do not do anything to improve upon this lame genre; merely adding gross-out jokes is not my idea of improvement. Still, Schneider's game performance has its moments, and McAdams really shines as the bitchy cheerleader.

The Hot Chick is not a very good movie but it's not nearly as bad as your average Schneider/Sandler offering. It's slightly tamer than anything he's done before, and it has some genuinely funny moments; not nearly enough laughs for me to recommend it, but not so bad as to be avoided at all costs.

Movie Review: Drumline

Drumline (2002) 

Directed by Charles Stone III 

Written by Tina Gordon Chism

Starring Nick Cannon, Zoe Saldana, Orlando Jones, Jason Weaver

Release Date December 13th, 2002 

Published December 10th, 2002

Every year Grambling University plays a football game against Southern University. The game is notable because it is played in the Louisiana Superdome and airs nationwide on Black Entertainment Television. And even when Grambling was coached by the legendary Eddie Robinson, the winningest coach of a black college team in history, the huge crowds did not come for the football; they came to see the halftime show. The showdown between these two amazing talented bands is worth the price of admission--even if you're not a football fan.

At many traditionally black colleges, the halftime show, where the bands take the field for precisely choreographed musical mayhem that mixes traditional marching band music with modern hip hop and dance, is as highly anticipated as the game itself is. Yet, the movie Drumline--made as a tribute to this unique phenomenon--fails to capture the obvious spirit and emotion that drives it.

Nick Cannon, star of his own Nickelodeon TV variety show, stars in Drumlineas Devon, a cocky freshman drummer who is joining the legendary marching band at fictional Atlanta A&T; University. From the moment Devon steps on campus, his attitude starts rubbing people the wrong way--especially the upperclassman who is the leader of the bands famed drumline, Sean (played by Leonard Roberts.) Soon, the two headstrong drummers are at each other's throats and their pettiness does not go unnoticed by the schools bandleader, Dr. James Lee (former Seven-Up spokesperson, Orlando Jones.)

Soon, Devon's attitude and battle with Sean leads him to be kicked off the team. All the while, Devon has a budding relationship with a dancer named Laila (Zoe Saldana). That relationship is also affected by Devon's problems in the marching band.

It's not long before Devon is reformed and begins to work his way back into the band in time for the battle of the bands. In true sports movie fashion, Drumline comes down to a one-on-one showdown between A&T; and their crosstown rivals, Morris Brown University. (In reality, Morris Brown is a real college with one of the most sensational marching bands in the country.)

The marching band competition is staged well, despite its fictional origins. Watching the amazing choreography and skill of the bands is a treat, but the film as a whole is a pale imitation of the sports movie cliches many critics claim it defies. The fact is that this is another Rocky-esque movie where people overcome great odds to succeed on a big stage. Drumline is like a sports movie without the sports.

The film's biggest problems are its lead performances by Cannon and Jones. Cannon isn't a bad actor but his character is so intensely obnoxious and unlikable, I can't imagine wanting to watch a film about him. As for Jones, something has always bothered me about him as an actor and Drumline exposes that something. There is something in Jones' voice, an affectation that makes every word out of his mouth seem insincere. In Drumline, he is called on to deliver some very straight, very earnest dialogue, but that vocal affectation of his makes him impossible to take seriously.

Drumline is a well-crafted film and a marginally entertaining one when the action is focused on the bands performing. However, everything that happens around performances is all dull cliche and wrongheaded character development. I would recommend it only for hardcore band geeks.

Movie Review: About Schmidt

About Schmidt (2002) 

Directed by Alexander Payne 

Written by Alexander Payne, Jim Taylor

Starring Jack Nicholson, Hope Davis, Dermot Mulroney, Kathy Bates, 

There have been a few times in Jack Nicholson's career where the image of Jack, the iconic ladies man, Laker fan Jack, the famous image, overcame the actor Jack Nicholson. Films like Wolf and even his role as The Joker in Batman showed Nicholson mugging for the camera and playing off his image rather than his talent. Then, in the early 2000’s, Nicholson seemingly set out to destroy ‘Jack’ the image and return to Jack the Actor. The Pledge, one of the best films of 2001, showcased Nicholson in a role stripped of any glamour or vanity. The Pledge is a slow boil performance that is both subtle and heartbreaking. And in About Schmidt, Jack goes for yet another unglamorous, though more mainstream, role as an aging retiree trapped in a life unlived.

As Warren Schmidt, Nicholson is a 66-year-old insurance company actuary. It’s a job Warren tells us has endowed him with the ability to determine just how long people will live. Thus, Warren is well aware of his own mortality as he sits at his retirement dinner with his wife of 42 years played by June Squibb. 42 long years, 42 very, long, years. As Warren describes in a very funny voiceover: “Who is this old woman in my bed?”

Warren and his wife have one daughter, Jeannie (Hope Davis) who is soon to be married. Though he is not allowed to say anything about the wedding by his domineering wife, Warren secretly hates his daughter’s fiance, played by Dermot Mulroney. This isn't your typical ‘no man is good enough for my daughter hatred.’ As Warren introduces his daughter’s fiance, in his voiceover, we are quick to see just what a real doofus this guy is.

Now retired with little to do Warren spends his days with crossword puzzles and watching TV. While flipping channels he comes across one of those child-reach infomercials where some celebrity tells you that for 22 dollars a month you can feed a starving child. Warren, for some reason, likely boredom, writes down the phone number, and is soon doling out the cash and writing letters to a six year old African boy named Ndugu.



The voiceover narration in About Schmidt comes from the letters Warren writes to Ndugu, and just hearing Nicholson open a new letter with the words "Dear Ndugu" provides the funniest and saddest moments of the film. Nicholson’s rye recognition of how he’s really talking to himself 

It is not long after Warren retires that his wife passes away, leaving Warren with an empty house and a newly purchased Winnebago in his driveway that his wife had purchased to drive cross country for their daughter's wedding. Taking to the road, Warren's adventures including a sad, tragic meeting with a couple of fellow RV drivers that is a terrific diversion from the main story. The film however gains it's true narrative thrust when Warren arrives for his daughter's wedding and ends up staying with the groom's mother Roberta (Kathy Bates). Her full on personality is immediately at odds with Warren's quiet dignity. A scene where Warren and Roberta share time in the hot tub is pure comic bliss that shows Nicholson at his slow boiling best.

Director Alexander Payne is a true pro, a visionary comic auteur that deftly combines realism and comedy. About Schmidt is filled with moments of warmth and humor that never seem fake. Thanks to one of the best scripts, casts and directors of any film in the last year.

Movie Review: Empire

Empire (2002) 

Directed by Franc Reyes

Written by Franc Reyes

Starring John Leguizamo, Peter Sarsgard, Denise Richards, Sonia Braga, Isabella Rossellini 

Release Date December 6th, 2002 

Published December 6th, 2002 

When Universal Pictures bumped Empire from its original mid-March release to the highly-competitive December marketplace, many scratched their heads. The only conclusion that could be drawn from such a bold move was that Universal must have been very confident in this urban drama starring John Leguizamo. In fact, rumors persisted that Universal would begin a "For Your Consideration" (Oscar) campaign for the comedian-turned-serious-actor. However, after seeing Empire, I'm not sure that Universal's confidence is well placed.

In Empire, Leguizamo stars as Victor Rosa, a drug dealer with his own brand of heroin that he calls empire. Victor and his crew, including rapper Treach from Naughty By Nature, run a certain section of the Bronx that has been set aside for them by the city's leading drug supplier, La Columbiana (Isabella Rosselini). There are several rival dealers in the Bronx, all of whom get their supply from La Columbiana, and all of whom have their own part of town in which to work. When those boundaries are crossed, even by just twenty feet, violence ensues and someone will get hurt. As Victor explains in voiceover, thirty feet of street corner can mean thirty grand a week.

In Victor's other life, he is living with his college student girlfriend Carmen (newcomer Delilah Cotto). Carmen is aware of Victor's business, and so is her disapproving mother, played by Sonya Braga. Lately, things have been affecting Victor more and more, After something terrible happens to the small child of a rival, Tito (played with surprising charisma by rapper Fat Joe), Victor begins to wish there was a way out.

Then, through Carmen's friend Trish (who is played with eternal vapidity by Denise Richards), Victor meets an investment banker named Jack (Peter Sarsgaard). At first, the two seem friendly and Jack seems to honestly admire Victor's entrepreneurial spirit. Of course, when money gets involved, and we are talking millions of dollars, betrayal can't be far behind.

As the trailer reveals, Jack steals Victor's money, which Victor stupidly takes to him in cash. What is surprising is, despite the trailer, the film frames Jack's betrayal of Victor as a big twist as if the audience couldn't see it coming. Even without the over-explanatory trailer, Empire's plot clips along so mechanically its ending becomes obvious with more than 45 minutes remaining in the film.

At least Leguizamo doesn't suffer too badly from the poor scripting. Since his electric performance in Spike Lee's criminally underappreciated Summer Of Sam, I have been waiting for Leguizamo to get a major dramatic role. He would have had it in Empire if the film as a whole were as good as his part was. As it is, add another line to John Leguizamo's resume and wait for his next chance, because I guarantee there will be another one. And don't be surprised if, next time, we are touting Leguizamo for an Oscar. 

Movie Review: Adaptation

Adaptation (2002)

Directed by Spike Jonze

Written by Charlie Kaufman

Starring Nicolas Cage, Meryl Streep, Chris Cooper, Tilda Swinton, Brian Cox 

Release Date December 6th, 2002 

Published December 6th, 2002 

Originality is a lost art in modern Hollywood. Many people would tell you that everything has been done, and, well, they are right to a point. That is where Charlie Kaufman and Spike Jonze come in. They take a simple setup and make it original, fresh and funny. Being John Malkovich was a wild, literal, head trip of originality and humor. Now, their new film Adaptation moves the head trip inside the mind of the writer himself. In Adaptation, Kaufman writes himself into his own screenplay and the result is a film unlike anything Hollywood has ever seen.

I spoke before of originality and interestingly enough that is where the film begins. Kaufman, as played by Nicholas Cage, is wondering to himself if has an original thought in his head as he sits at a movie pitch meeting. A studio executive, played by Tilda Swinton, is offering Kaufman the opportunity to adapt the studio's latest acquisition a book called "The Orchid Thief."

Right off the bat this could have been a scene from Robert Altman's The Player with a studio executive spouting off about how this book is going to be the studio's big prestige picture, and, indeed, the book itself sounds like a Hollywood creation. However, "The Orchid Thief" is a real book by a real author and writer for The New Yorker magazine--Susan Orlean. And, in reality, Charlie Kaufman was asked to adapt "The Orchid Thief" for the screen. We are merely in the first scene and already the film is twisting reality in knots.

We flashback from there to Susan Orlean--as played by Meryl Streep--as she researches the story of John Laroche, a real-life orchid hunter played in the film by Chris Cooper, in an Oscar-courting performance. A story in the newspaper about a guy and three Indians arrested in the Florida wetlands for poaching flowers catches Orlean's eye and she is soon in Florida meeting Laroche with the intent of writing about him in The New Yorker. The article became the book and was then snapped up by a movie studio to be made into a film.

Cut back to Charlie, who explains that he doesn't want to make this a Hollywood thing, and wants to write a film that does justice to the book. The book, however, is mostly about orchids and has no real cinematic arc. Charlie has no idea what to write, and his problems will strike a chord with anyone who has ever attempted to write something. Rewards and punishments. Excuses for writing and not writing. How the mind tends to wander off when you know you have to write something but can't. 

As I write this review I'm going on almost four days since I saw the movie; not exactly a good quick turn around. I sit and stare at the computer alternately tapping out my review in my strange hunt and peck typing style that drives my girlfriend up the wall. I write a paragraph and then wonder if my laundry is done. Another sentence and wonder if I should get a bottled water or make soup. Then I realize that I have unconsciously written myself into a review of a movie about a writer who writes himself into his own screenplay. 

Adaptation will do that to you as it twists inside itself and torturously weaves reality and fiction. Kaufman does an amazing mixing job, using real people like Orlean and Laroche and even the cast of his previous film, Being John Malkovich, and then creating a fictional twin brother who acts as his onscreen id.

Cage plays both brothers, both a technical and acting feat pulled off to perfection. Donald Kaufman seems to be the antithesis of everything Charlie stands for. Donald is a lazy layabout with an ease with woman and self image far healthier than it maybe should be. Charlie is both disgusted by Donald and envious of him. They are two sides of the same coin. Donald one day announces that he too is going to be a screenwriter and with the help of a screenwriting coach played by Brian Cox, writes a typical Hollywood schlock thriller and sells it for a million dollars. 

My impression of Donald is that he and Charlie are actually the same person and that Donald allows Charlie to express how easy it would be for him to buy into the Hollywood system. Donald's amazingly bad script is riddled with everything intelligent people despise about modern Hollywood, but, on further examination, the plot mirrors the same dynamic that plays out in Adaptation. I don't want to spoil it. You have to make the connection on your own.

Lost in all the madness onscreen is director Spike Jonze who craftily loses himself behind the camera, putting all the focus on Kaufman. It is Jonze's steadiness that draws this wildly-out-of-control film together. Jonze and Kaufman litter the film with tiny details that will have you going back to see it repeatedly.

My review is finished now I can go eat, but I better check my laundry first. Hey I wonder what's on TV.

Movie Review: They

They (2002) 

Directed by Robert Harmon

Written by Brendan Hood 

Starring Ethan Embry, Laura Regan, Marc Blucas, Dagmara Dominicyzk

Release Date November 27th, 2002

Published November 28th, 2002 

Wes Craven is one of the masters of the horror genre, having created a character that is likely the most enduring villain in horror history—Freddy Krueger. Recently though, the successful Scream franchise notwithstanding, Craven has taken a relaxed role in the filmmaking process; that of Executive Producer. It seems that the horror master will attach his name to anything: the horrendous Wishmaster series, Mind Ripper, and most recently Wes Craven Presents Dracula 2000. I can't be the only horror fan who sees Craven's name attached to a film and assumes he is directing it. However, more often than not, when you see the title Wes Craven Presents, it's actually someone else's film.

Still, when I saw Craven's name attached to the horror film They, I was fooled into thinking it could be another great horror film. Then, as I watch the credits, I find the film was actually directed by Robert Harmon whose previous work includes the TV movie Gotti and the Jean Claude Van Damme opus Nowhere To Run. Needless to say, I was disappointed.

Unknown actress Laura Regan is Julia who, with a friend played by Scary Movie's Jon Abrahams, shared what they called "night terrors' ' (not nightmares, "night terrors"). After her friend kills himself in front of her, Julia meets two friends he made in college who also had "night terrors." Ethan Embry (slumming since his funny turn in 1995's Empire Records) and Dagmara Dominicyk (the freaky publicist from Rock Star) are Sam and Terry. Also part of the story is Julia's boyfriend Paul, played by Mark Blucas who should know better about good horror content having spent a season on Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Once the characters are introduced, it doesn't take much to predict who die next. Julia is the lead character so obviously she will survive (at least until the end.) This leaves Terry and Sam to wander off by themselves and die, leaving Julia to fend for herself and for her boyfriend to just think she is crazy until it is time for him to be a maybe be a hero. Whether he actually does play the hero I will not say. I wouldn't want to spoil what remarkably little suspense there is in They.

So what are "They"? From what I could ascertain "They" were giant black grasshoppers that only came out at night and hated any kind of light except the ambient light necessary to light a scene. Wes Craven should be ashamed of himself for slapping his name on any dog of a movie that Miramax/Dimension wants to call horror. Let the movie, They,  be a warning to future filmgoers that just because a film has a quality name on it, it doesn't guarantee a quality film.

Movie Review Personal Velocity

Personal Velocity (2002) 

Directed by Rebecca Miller

Written by Rebecca Miller

Starring Kyra Sedgwick, Parker Posey, Fairuza Balk 

Release Date November 27th, 2002 

Published December 25th, 2002

I have many times in the past lamented the lack of good roles for women in Hollywood. 2002 did a great deal to quiet my complaints offering a wide range of excellent female driven movies. One film with three sensational lead female performances won the Grand Jury Prize at the 2002 Sundance Film festival. It's called Personal Velocity and though I had to wait over half of a year to see it, the film was worth the wait.

Written and directed by first timer Rebecca Miller, Personal Velocity is a set of three half-hour vignettes about three diverse women whose lives we join in progress. The first story is about Delia (Kyra Sedgwick), whose voiceover explains how she grew up quickly, earning the reputation of town slut before finally settling down with one guy because he was the one who asked. Sometime into the marriage, the husband develops an affinity for rough sex that evolves into physical abuse. 

Once Delia realizes that the violence could go beyond her to her children she makes the choice to leave but has nowhere to go. In desperation she calls on a woman she knew just barely in high school whom she once saved from bullies, or at least that is how she remembers it. The woman is kind enough to let Delia and her kids live in her garage and Delia gets a job in a greasy diner. Therein, she endures the come-ons of the owner’s greasy son. The half hour segment ends with no real resolution but rather a continuing spiral that seems destined to continue as we move on to the next story.

The film’s middle segment starring Parker Posey is its strongest. Posey is Greta, a cookbook editor who has fallen into a relationship of convenience with a guy who is a fact checker for The New Yorker. The guy is exactly the guy her father, a high powered attorney who divorced Greta's mother, doesn't want her to be with. That may be exactly why she married him, though she is cheating on him. When Greta gets a break at work (she's asked to edit the book of a best selling author who requested her specifically), she must deal with success for the first time in her life as well as a challenging relationship with the author. Posey is fascinating, communicating classic slacker indifference until confronted with real emotion, which she never learned to deal with before. Something many of us children of the divorce culture can relate to.

The final story is about Paula, a formerly homeless girl who is running away from the man who pulled her off the streets. After an accident nearly took her life and instead killed a man she had just met, Paula got in her car and just began driving. For some unknown reason she has picked up a young hitchhiker and now finds herself on the road to her mother’s home. Paula hasn't seen her mother since she ran away. Her mother had been divorced and remarried to a man Paula didn't like. After contacting her boyfriend, Paula hits the road again with the hitchhiker and finds that his problems may be far worse than her own. He provides the cautionary tale that Paula and the movie needs to end with a little ray of hope.

Each of the stories is connected in a small way but the connection is insignificant when you know that the stories were culled from a collection of seven stories by Rebecca Miller. It's not surprising that the stories are well written as Miller is the daughter of Playwright Arthur Miller. Rebecca Miller has a strong familiarity with her characters which helps, given that each story only has about 30 minutes to tell its story. Miller and her amazing cast are never hampered by the runtime and the stories are likely better served without the padding it would take to make each feature length.

The film has its problems, the voiceover narration by John Ventimiglia is at times rather prosaic and Ventimiglia's voice a little too arrogant. Also, shot for a very small sum on digital video, the film has a look that’s grainy and unpolished. That might be what they were looking for but I found it distracting. Those minor problems aside, Personal Velocity is a well written and very well acted film that announces Rebecca Miller as a filmmaker to look for in the future.

Movie Review: Extreme Ops

Extreme Ops (2002) 

Directed by Christian Duguay 

Written by Michael Zaidan 

Starring Devon Sawa, Bridget Wilson-Sampras, Rupert Graves, Rufus Sewell

Release Date November 27th, 2002 

Published November 27th, 2002 

I am not a big fan of extreme sports. Any sport that wasn't begun before 1960 is not a sport. But I must admit that when it's done well it can be exciting to watch, but still not a sport. The new movie Extreme Ops is about a group of extreme sports enthusiasts who accidentally stumble upon a group of Serbian terrorists.

That would never happen in football.

While on location shooting a commercial for a digital video camera, a group of extreme sportsters head to Austria to film the most dangerous stunt they could think of, skiing and snowboarding ahead of a hard-charging avalanche. Included in this ragtag bunch is the director Ian (Rufus Sewell) his partner and money man Jeffrey (Rupert Graves), the cameraman Will (Devon Sawa), a punk skateboarder named Kittie (Jana Pallaskie) another punk skateboarder named Silo (Joe Absolem) and Chloe (Bridget Wilson Sampras, smoking hot) a gold medal winning downhill skier. 

Ian does not want Chloe to be a part of the shoot but Jeffrey has hired her as the star of the commercial. The stunt is far more difficult than the downhill skiing Chloe is used and at first she can't keep up. If only that were the biggest problem. Instead they accidentally stumbled upon the mountain hideout of a Serbian terrorist who was believed to be dead. So obviously since the crew has seen him and Will actually gets a picture of him, they must be killed before they can reveal his location.

Yes the story is as ridiculous as it sounds but director Christian Duguay knows it's ridiculous and doesn't waste to much time setting up the terrorist plot, preferring to focus on the awesome skiing and snowboarding stunts. The difference between the extreme sports antics in Extreme Ops and those of other big dumb action movies like XXX is that Ops knows how ridiculous they are and embraces them. The charismatic cast perform the stunts with a wink to the audience that let's us in on the joke of the story and allows to relax and have fun with it.

Devon Sawa is one of my favorite young actors and his natural charisma is all over his character here. Sawa plays Will as a guy you would love to hang out with, get drunk or stoned and go do something incredibly dangerous and stupid with. And Bridget Wilson-Sampras who in the past has been accused of being too pretty for the plain characters she is supposed to be playing, here plays a character who is supposed to be hot. She's an actress in a TV commercial and an athlete. Newcomer Jana Pallaskie is stuck in the thankless Clea Duvall role. The “beautiful on the inside grumpy Goth chick” that has become a cliché. Pallaskie does what she can with the role and manages to come off as likable and funny.

Extreme Ops is a B movie that knows it's a B movie. Director Christian Duguay never has any pretense of trying to create art or memorable film. He is making a movie that is a series of stunts and excellent camerawork and both are spectacular. There are moments where things are obviously too dangerous and the filmmakers were forced to use bad CGI effects, but, for the most part, these are awesome stuntmen and women pulling off real stunts.

Real cool stunts.

Movie Review Adam Sandler's Eight Crazy Nights

Adam Sandler's Eight Crazy Nights

Directed by Sean Kearsley

Written by Alan Covert, Adam Sandler

Starring Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider 

Release Date November 27th, 2002 

Published November 25th, 2002 

Just when Adam Sandler earns a modicum of respect with his sensational turn in Punch Drunk Love, he turns around and slaps the audience in the face with his trademark juvenile stupidity. It's like in High School when the popular jock would talk to the nerds until his friends came around. Then he would be mean and boorish again. (Not that I could relate to that story... stupid nerds.) 

This time around, it's an animated Sandler voicing Davey Stone, the meanest guy in town. Stone has made it a habit to ruin Hanukkah and Christmas for everyone in town since his parents died when he was twelve. After Davey gets drunk and steals a snowmobile that he uses to destroy a Hanukkah/Christmas ice sculpture, Davey is hauled into court where he should be sent away for ten years. 

Before he can be sentenced an old man named Whitey, also voiced by Sandler, volunteers to take Davey under his wing. Davey is sentenced to work with Whitey refereeing kids basketball games. At first, Davey doesn't change at all and is a complete jerk to Whitey and Whitey's sister Eleanore, also voiced by Sandler. Of course, in typical fashion, Whitey begins to wear Davey down and after a cute little song, they are friends until the script throws up one last roadblock to prolong the film until its forced happy ending. Along the way, we are treated to excrement, snot, and various other disgusting elements that Sandler has some juvenile affinity for. 

I would be lying if I said that 8 Crazy Nights didn't have a couple of good laughs: something this scatological can't help but hit the target once in a while. But the laughs are rare and not nearly sufficient to make 8 Crazy Nights worth seeing. 

Memo to Adam Sandler: Punch Drunk Love showed honest potential, as does your teaming with Jack Nicholson in the forthcoming Anger Management. There is no need for this kind of stupidity. 8 Crazy Nights is likely to make more money on its opening weekend than Punch Drunk Lovewill make during its entire run, but remember, quality work is its own reward.

Movie Review: The Emperor's Club

The Emperor's Club (2002)

Directed by Michael Hoffman

Written by Neil Tolkin 

Starring Kevin Kline, Steven Culp, Embeth Davidtz, Patrick Dempsey, Emile Hirsch, Rob Morrow 

Release Date November 22nd, 2002 

Published November 22nd, 2002 

In Life as A House, Kevin Kline pandered unsuccessfully to Oscar voters with a character that begged to be loved. Why an actor as talented as Kline felt the need to beg for an Oscar nomination is beyond me because, with his roles in the highly underrated comedy Dave and the forgotten cop thriller The January Man (which is a personal favorite of mine), Kline has proved he can act as well as anyone. In his latest film, The Emperor's Club, Kline takes on yet another role that seems to scream for Oscar attention while not deserving it.

Kline stars as Mr. Hundert, a professor at an all-boys private school named St. Benedictus. Mr Hundert teaches the classics and Roman history, to a group of kids who will grow up to be politicians and the future captains of industry. At first, he is simply dealing with a group of bright kids who are just there to learn. Things change when the troublemaking son of a senator named Sedgewick Bell (Emile Hirsch) joins the class and begins to disrupt things. At first, Mr. Hundert is at a loss as to how to teach Sedgewick since the kid simply refuses to do anything. However after speaking to Sedgewick's father (character actor Harris Yulin, in a typically villainous role), Hundert sees a way to reach the young boy.

The culmination of the school year is a competition between students to become Mr. Julius Caesar, a crown bestowed on the student who has the greatest knowledge of Roman history. Sedgewick begins taking part in class and earns a spot in the contest finals for Mr. Julius Caesar. Though Sedgewick didn't truly earn his spot, Mr. Hundert increased Sedgewick's score on a test, just enough to get him in the contest. Whether he felt sorry for Sedgewick or felt his hard work warranted the extra couple points, Mr. Hundert's decision will come to haunt him when he catches Sedgewick trying to cheat in the contest.

The film begins with an older Mr. Hundert reuniting with his class of 1976, the class which incluses Sedgewick and his friends, and ends with the actual reunion which was organized by Sedgewick as a rematch of the Mr. Julius Caesar contest.

The Emperor's Club is notable for its simplistic scale. This is not meant to be a broad inspirational tale, but rather, a straightforward, earnest character study. It is a movie that seems dedicated to the one teacher that everyone remembers fondly, but instead is a study of one man and his decisions and morals. Mr. Hundert is a good man whose bad decisions haunt him for a long time, but never overwhelm him.

This is not Mr. Holland's Opus or Dead Poets Society; this film isn't that broad. The Emperor's Club is a simple character study. If only that character were more interesting than this one. The Emperor's Club could have been pretty good. Kevin Kline has natural charisma and intelligence yet his Mr. Hundert is an endlessly dull character, as are his students.

Anyone who has never been to a private school and could care less for its rites and traditions will find that The Emperor's Club does little to make them interesting. I expected the film to illustrate the exhilaration of learning. Learning even the most obscure knowledge can be exciting, but the film fails to show this. Instead, the film glosses over the teaching and learning in favor of its morality play.

I have yet to see a film that really expressed the joy of learning. Stand & Deliver came close, but was more concerned with racial politics than with learning. The Emperor's Club had the opportunity and missed. Still I believe someday a film will truly show the joy of learning and that will be one great film.

Movie Review: Die Another Day

Die Another Day (2002) 

Directed by Lee Tamahori 

Written by Neil Purvis, Robert Wade 

Starring Pierce Brosnan, Halle Berry, Rick Yune, Judi Dench

Release Date November 22nd, 2002 

Published November 21st, 2002 

I've wondered recently as I awaited the release of the latest in the James Bond series, whether it's the character I like or a perception of the character that I've built in my own mind. I've always thought I liked James Bond, but I don't seek out the films. In fact, I haven't seen any of the Bond movies all the way through since the last one was in theaters. I have my own preconceptions of what Bond should be based on vague memories of movies I haven't seen in years. Maybe that is why Die Another Day is so disappointing, because it doesn't match my memory. It may be quite faithful to the legend as it actually exists but for my notion of James Bond, it doesn't work.

Pierce Brosnan takes on the role of 007 for the 4th time, still in the shadow of Sean Connery and not likely to escape it being that this is likely his last go around with the character. In the opening scenes Bond surfs onto the shores of North Korea and kidnaps a diamond dealer who is on his way to sell diamonds to a corrupt North Korean General. Bond takes the dealer’s place with the intent of killing the General, however his cover is blown during the deal and Bond is captured. 

A flash forward during the credits shows us Bond being tortured for several months ‘til he is freed in a prisoner exchange with South Korea. Under normal circumstances a double 0 agent would be left to die but Bond's bosses fear he may have cracked and before he can give up any important information they trade a most dangerous prisoner, Zao played by The Fast & the Furious star Rick Yune, for Bond.

Now suspected of treachery, Bond must escape his own people and find the people who blew his cover. Along the way, Bond makes the acquaintance of an American operative named Jinx (Halle Berry). The only person who knows who set Bond up is Zao, who Bond tracks to Cuba and finally to Iceland and the part time home of a megalomaniacal diamond broker named Gustav Graves. The connection between Zao and Graves is a good one and typical of the franchise, anyone with a vague understanding of the legend will see through it immediately.

SPOILER ALERT – YOU’VE BEEN WARNED

Indeed throughout Die Another Day, Director Lee Tamohori and screenwriters Neal Purvis and Robert Wade, tip their hand with a sly wink to the audience. There is not one twist or surprise in Die Another Day save for a terrific cameo by Madonna. If you have seen any of the previous Bond films then you know everything that will happen in Die Another Day, including the agent that turns on Bond, the true identity of Gustav Graves, and where Jinx's loyalty lies. Here is a hint, she is getting her own spin off film so safe to say she isn't the bad guy.

SPOILER ALERT OVER

Director Lee Tamohori is to be commended for the film’s action, which is very well staged. The special effects and stunts in Die Another Day are spectacular. If the only reason your seeing the film is for the action and special effects you will be very pleased. Die Another Day is a well-oiled machine of a movie. Think of it like a perfectly running car engine. It's quite brilliant but do you want to watch an engine run for 2 hours?

Ultimately, Die Another Day has no heart, no soul and no passion. And accuse me if you like of asking too much of a Hollywood popcorn film, I don't care. I need characters and story. Die Another Day has neither. It has paper-thin caricatures going through the motions of special effect and action. And as for Bond, the character is now skating entirely on past glory. That past is quite glorious even in my fuzzy memory but reputation can only carry you so far and Pierce Brosnan, since taking over the role, has brought nothing new to the character. 

In fact, he lacks the qualities that made Bond so glorious before him. Much like his immediate predecessor Timothy Dalton, Brosnan's Bond is wooden and charmless attempting to pass solely on looks and legend. Both Connery and Roger Moore brought unique characteristics to their Bond. Connery's Bond was charming and dangerous and just so cool. Moore's Bond lacked Connery's charisma, but he too was cool and he brought a new humor to the character that wasn't a part of Connery's Bond.

The next in the series is likely to bring a new actor to the role of Bond, and my hope is he can bring something new to the character, but he will need the help of a director with vision and a writer with the wit enough not to fall back on effects and stunts and provide real suspense and, heaven forbid, dialogue. Not too much though, I wouldn't want to take away from the effects too much. Just enough to allow an actor to act.

As a technical feat, Die Another Day is flawless. As a movie, it’s lacking.

Movie Review Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002) 

Directed by Christopher Columbus 

Written by Steve Kloves 

Starring Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Kenneth Branagh, Robbie Coltrane 

Release Date November 15th, 2002 

Published November 14th, 2002 

There is an unspoken competition between the Harry Potter film series and the Lord Of The Rings trilogy. While there are numerous other movie franchises, few match the scope and scale of these two series. The competition has nothing to do with box office—though that should be a close race. It has to do with quality filmmaking; which series will be more artistically satisfying? The first of the Potter series was strong, if not memorable, while the first of the Rings achieved everything it set out to achieve until its awful abrupt ending. 

That film established its characters, its universe and its rules, creating a good deal of anticipation for the next two films in the trilogy. If the original Potter film wasn't as successful in those respects, it was through no lack of trying. In its second outing, the Potter series flies out of the box with all the magic and wonder of classic Hollywood filmmaking and modern technology. Harry Potter and the Chamber Of Secrets throws down the artistic gauntlet to the The Two Towers and sets the bar high on quality filmmaking.

As we rejoin the story of the world's most famous boy wizard, young Harry (Daniel Radcliffe, aging rapidly) is back home with his Muggle (i.e. non-wizard) guardians. Locked in his bedroom and badly mistreated, Harry cannot wait to return to his real home at Hogwarts Academy. Harry is a little down, however, as he has not heard anything from his close friends Ron Weasley (Rupert Grint) and Hermione Granger (Emma Watson). 

As it turns out, Harry's correspondence with his friends has been interrupted by an elf named Dobby who comes to Harry with a warning: Do not return to Hogwarts because your life and those of your friends are in great danger if you do. Undeterred, Harry has no other wish but to return to Hogwarts, and when his friends show up at his home to bust him out and bring him to Hogwarts he literally jumps at the chance.

Once back in the wizard realm he is quickly reunited with his old friend, the giant Hagrid (Robbie Coltrane) and comes to meet his newest Professor, the pompous and overbearing Gilderoy Lockhart (Kenneth Branagh). Harry is also quickly reunited with his Hogwarts rival Draco Malfoy (Tom Felton) and Draco's equally slimy father Lucius (Jason Isaacs). It isn't long after Harry returns to Hogwarts that strange things begin to happen. First Harry is nearly killed in a quidditch match and then he finds himself accused of paralyzing a cat and scrolling in blood that the Chamber of Secrets has been opened.

Thankfully for Harry, the school headmaster, Professor Dumbledore (Richard Harris), believes Harry did not commit the crime. Dumbledore knows more than he lets on but plays it close to the vest. As if illustrating Harry's growth into puberty and beyond, he begins to discover new powers, including a rather frightening ability to speak to snakes, a power usually restricted to those who are members of the Slytherin House. Harry is also hearing voices that no one else can hear— a trait that is a little strange, even for a wizard. After a friend is struck paralyzed by the entity that also froze the cat, Harry and his friends can't help but investigate, and find out what the Chamber of Secrets is and whether it has anything to do with the Malfoys, Slytherin, or worse.

There is a deeper story with the Malfoy family who make clear in early scenes their dislike of Muggles and especially wizards descended from Muggle parents like Hermione. The allusion to Nazism is obvious but not overdone. Draco is obviously the model of Aryan nazi youth, and this sets up a metaphor that I'm sure will play itself out in the sequels to come.

One advantage to never having read the books is that I'm excited to not know what's going to happen next, and director Chris Columbus does an excellent job of foreshadowing the future of Harry and his friends— especially the future relationship between Harry and Hermione who seem destined to be more than friends.

It would be easy to underestimate the performance of Daniel Radcliffe, since the kid really is so comfortable in the role he makes it look very easy. However, it can't be easy spending most of the film talking to things that actually aren't there, as Radcliffe does. Be they elves, giant spiders or ghosts, Radcliffe's performance, combined with state-of-the-art effects and editing, bring the film to life in a vibrant and exciting way.

In a wonderful coda to an amazing career Richard Harris leaves us with a wonderful performance. Putting aside the sympathy votes, Harris' performance is honestly Oscar worthy, as is the performance of the newest addition to the series, Kenneth Branagh. With energy and bravado to spare, Branagh's egotistical, cowardly Professor Gilderoy Lockhart is a comic whirlwind who earns laughs with simply a smile. Branagh's performance is truly delightful.

Director Chris Columbus will turn over the reins of the Potter series to Alfonso Cuaron (Y Tu Mama Tambien), and it is sad to see him go. The director, who was a controversial choice the first time around, really proved himself on this film. Though, for me, the original wasn't the winning concoction so many others enjoyed, it did show that Columbus had a touch for staging and effects. In Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Columbus fills out the Potter universe in spectacular fashion. Hogwarts becomes a fully realized place, almost a character in itself. Columbus's expertise in staging and effects here combines itself with a compelling story and performances, to make for a truly magical film. The Two Towers has a lot to live up to if it hopes to match the quality of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.

Movie Review Half Past Dead

Half Past Dead (2002) 

Directed by Don Michael Paul

Written by Don Michael Paul 

Starring Steven Seagal, Ja Rule, Kurupt, Morris Chestnut, Nia Peeples 

Release Date November 15th, 2002

Published November 15th, 2002 

As long as rap stars want an "actor" to make them look good, Steven Seagal will have a film career. Never known for his acting, Seagal is the perfect foil for rappers beginning their acting careers because his sullen, wooden ridiculousness makes his co-stars seem Deniro-esque in comparison. In Half Past Dead Seagal does the trick for first timer Ja Rule.

Dead features Seagal as Sascha, an FBI agent who is deep undercover in a group of car thieves. Sascha's unwitting partner is Nick (Ja Rule) who thinks his new partner is a straight thug criminal. Nick is getting Sascha close to the criminal organization that killed Sascha's wife until the two are busted at a stolen car chop shop and Nick is sent to jail. To stay undercover and close to Nick, Sascha joins Nick at the newly reopened Acatraz Island prison.

Alcatraz is about to perform its first execution since reopening on a man named Sonny Eckvall (Richard Bremmer). Sonny was sentenced to death for the murder of FBI agents who were attempting to arrest him for stealing $200 million in gold. Before committing the murders, Sonny stashed the gold and plans to take the gold’s location to his grave. A female Supreme Court justice, conveniently soon to be a hostage, played by Linda Thorson, has come to Alcatraz to preside over the execution.

Before the execution can occur, a group of terrorists lead by a prison bureaucrat played by Morris Chestnutt (slumming for a paycheck), attack the prison with the intent of forcing Sonny to reveal the location of the gold. Unfortunately for them, Sascha is loose in the prison and is quickly dispatching of his henchman.

It is no surprise that Half Past Dead is a slipshod, slapped together B movie. What is surprising is how truly inept a movie made in this day and age can be. Especially a film with a studio backing. Bad movies are bad movies but there is no excuse for the massive continuity errors and logical leaps forced upon us by first time feature director Don Michael Paul. My favorite is when the bad guys leap out of a plane in what is clearly daylight and then land on Alcatraz at night. You could skydive from the moon and land faster than that.

I also enjoyed Paul's admission on the commentary track that some of the film's footage was a direct lift from his buddy Michael Bay's movie The Rock. Originality gets its ass kicked again. Now to be fair, director Paul does give the film a slick and polished music video style that looks very cool on DVD. Oh, and whomever dressed up Nia Peeples did a great job because she has never looked hotter.

Unfortunately, no matter how slick the movie may look it can't make Steven Seagal look good. Seagal's plodding dullness is becoming more and more evident with every film. He continues to get slower and more overweight in every movie. Where his martial arts moves may have once been credible, or were they? I don't remember. Regardless, they are clearly embellished by stuntmen and effects in Half Past Dead.

As for Ja Rule, he isn't an unpleasant actor but his range is limited and I can't imagine much of a future for him as an actor outside of ultraviolet low dialogue B-movies. Half Past Dead is more evidence, as if anymore was needed, that Steven Seagal is beyond washed up. Though I'm sure that because Hollywood is a cesspool of greed and stupidity there will always be a place for him in movies. Let's hope this film’s lack of box office will seal his fate as a straight-to-video B-movie actor.

Movie Review: Far From Heaven

Far From Heaven (2002)

Directed by Todd Haynes 

Written by Todd Haynes

Starring Julianne Moore, Dennis Quaid, Dennis Haysbert, Patricia Clarkson, Viola Davis, George Clooney

Release Date November 8th, 2002

Published December 24th, 2002

The 1950s is bathed in that Donna Reed/Leave It To Beaver sheen that seems, to irony, impenetrable. The earnestness and honesty of the times is anathema to our current state of affairs. Not that I would prefer the constricted fifties to our open society, rather, I'm merely illustrating the differences that are in conflict in Todd Haynes 50s era drama Far From Heaven, which attempts to openly comment on modern social issues while maintaining the earnestness of its time period. It is a balancing act that ends up in mixed results at best.

Inspired by the works of fifties era hauteur Douglas Sirk, Far From Heaven is a domestic drama that casts Julianne Moore as mother and housewife Catherine Whitaker. Living in the perfect suburb with her perfect children, home and lifestyle, Catherine is the Donna Reed-like ideal 50s woman. Perfect to the point that she and her husband are cast as the perfect couple in an advertisement for her husband's TV manufacturing company. So perfect that a local reporter profiles her as the womanly ideal.

However, cracks are beginning to show. Catherine's husband Frank continually arrives home later and later from work. Then, as Catherine waits for Frank to arrive home to escort her to a party, she is called to the police station to bail him out. She never questions why Frank was in jail; he claims the officer mistook him for the real criminal. The cracks become a huge gaping hole when Catherine decides to deliver dinner to a late working Frank and finds him in flagrante delicto with another man.

Rather than risk her perfect life, Catherine is very forgiving of Frank, escorting him to a psychiatrist where he hopes to be cured of his "affliction." So how does Catherine deal with her emotions? Rather than confide in her closest friend, played by Patricia Clarkson, she takes solace in the kind ear of her new gardener a black man named Raymond Deagen. The attraction isn't overtly sexual; at first, it is friendly and supportive and, slowly, an undercurrent of passion develops that both are fearful of exploring. Especially after a neighbor begins gossiping about the relationship.

Writer-director Todd Haynes is extremely faithful to his period and anyone who has flipped past Turner Classic Movies will recognize from the title sequence, the score by Elmer Bernstein, all the way to the closing credits, the look of the 50s dramas that were actually made in the 1950s. It is really remarkable but also troublesome. Haynes is so successful in his homage that it almost becomes comical, a parody.

The film deals with serious issues in the same ways that the movies that influenced it did, but far more overtly. Films of the 50s couldn't portray overtly homosexual characters or interracial romances, so commentaries on those topics were done through complicated metaphors that are still being discovered today. It is here that Haynes' freedom to portray these issues openly betrays him. Far From Heaven doesn't have the benefit of the mystery of metaphor that was invoked by the films that influenced it.

Julianne Moore gives a fine performance but, at times, only her natural warmth and audience credibility save the character from drifting into Stepford Wife-like parody. Dennis Quaid, as her closeted husband, has an easier time with his role, which has a natural conflict that allows him to be human from beginning to end (whereas Moore's character is at first required to be a Donna Reed clone and then gradually becomes a realistic character.) Haysbert has the difficult task of being saintly from beginning to end, at times taking on an almost beatific air. How a character in his situation could so naively wander from scene to scene without conflict is rather unbelievable.

Todd Haynes shows maturity and savvy that are quite remarkable; he has a very bright future ahead of him. Haynes will do especially well if he maintains his team of art director Peter Rogness, cinematographer Edward Lachman and production designer Mark Friedberg, who bathe every scene in the film in beautiful colors. The look of the film is remarkable for its clarity and will look truly amazing on DVD.

Far From Heaven is a good movie, but it is also a movie that cannot transcend its scenery. The 50s setting is a blessing and a curse. A blessing for the palate it provides for the production design, a curse for the faithfulness and attention to detail it seems to require, that cause the film to seem like almost a parody of itself.

Movie Review: 8 Mile

8 Mile (2002) 

Directed by Curtis Hanson 

Written by Scott Silver

Starring Eminem, Mekhi Phifer, Brittany Murphy, Kim Basinger

Release Date November 8th, 2002 

Published November 7th, 2002 

Once, Detroit was the center of the automotive boom. Flush with jobs the area was a boomtown until a sea change in the 60's when riots and recession began to reshape the city. By the 1980’s, the automotive boom was over. General Motors, amongst other car companies, began closing plants and laying off workers. The economic strife led many, mostly white people to move away from Detroit. The racial divide which has always been unspoken became more pronounced as one city street became a geographical dividing line between black and white. 

That street was 8 Mile, and it was on this street lined with run down buildings that a community of underground musicians began to rise, particularly a rap scene that was on the verge of changing the music scene. The movie 8 Mile dramatizes the underground Detroit rap scene, focusing on the white kid who would shock everyone by becoming it's breakout star. 8 Mile is not technically a biography of rapper Eminem, but the story of Eminem's 8 Mile character closely parallels the real life of the Real Slim Shady.

Eminem stars as Jimmy Smith Jr., known to his friends as Rabbit. As we join the story Rabbit is about to take the stage for a verbal war. Rappers get on stage dissing each other to the delight of the crowd, who ever delivers the stronger rap, wins. The battle of the MC's is presided over by Rabbit's close friend Future, effectively embodied by Mekhi Phifer. Future has had to beg and plead with Rabbit to jump on stage and show the skills that he and the crew known as the 313, for the Detroit area code, have seen. It is the skill we in the audience know he has, because he's Eminem. 

In the film however a frightened Rabbit first pukes his guts out backstage then get on stage and freezes, walking off stage without a word. Whether it was the hostile all black crowd, or his opponent Popa Doc's savage raps, we aren't sure. However, to see the man who in real life is known for his fast and fearless style run off stage without a word is an intriguing introduction the semi autobiographical story. 

Rabbit can be forgiven his lack of focus on stage as off stage he has real problems. He and his girlfriend have broken up after she revealed she is pregnant. Rabbit just lost his job delivering pizza's and now works at an automotive parts plant, a job no one wants. Worst of all Rabbit must go back to his mother’s trailer where his alcoholic mother is living with her equally alcoholic boyfriend, who is merely 2 years older than Rabbit himself. 

Future has big plans for himself and Rabbit, he wants to record a demo but most of all he holds out hope that someone important will hear Rabbit onstage and offer to produce them. Unfortunately, Future has been talking like this for years while another friend, a hustler named Wink (Eugene Bird) is actually making some things happen at a local radio station, though his tactics may be less than ethical. Wink also represents the 313's rivals, a group that includes Popa Doc (Anthony Mack) and rapper Xzibit as the group’s leader Hassan. 

With battles at home and on the streets, Rabbit turns to his friends for shelter then meets a girl that could be his oasis from all the trouble. Brittany Murphy plays Em's love interest, Alex, a wannabe model with a connection to Wink who she says is helping her get a modeling contract. The relationship develops quickly with Rabbit jumping in quickly even while Alex's motives are obviously unseemly. Alex's ulterior motives, as apparent as they are to the audience, give depth to the character that is necessary to leaven Murphy's bubbly exterior. When Alex's duplicitousness is shown to Rabbit the scene is very effective and gives her presence throughout the remainder of the film a kick. From there, the story is a very conventional overcoming the odds story that will obviously culminate with Rabbit onstage. 

The main question everyone wants answered is, can Eminem act? The answer is an honest 'I don't know.' Yes he does have an effective presence but the fact that he is playing a version of himself makes the comfort he shows in front of the camera a little too easy. Rabbit never transcends Eminem to become a separate entity. You can't separate Eminem from the character, a quality necessary when judging the performance. 

The thrust of the film comes from the stage. The rap battles are as exciting as any boxing match, with words landing like body blows and the audience cheering like the hordes at the roman coliseum every time a sword lands a blow. It is in these scenes that Em truly shines, showing his remarkable self-deprecating wit and savage wordplay. Nevertheless, once again, this does blur the line between character and actor.

The main problem with 8 Mile isn't Eminem, it is director Curtis Hanson. Best known for being an actor’s director, Hanson has never been short on intelligent word play and he isn't in 8 Mile. What is lacking is style. Hanson's Detroit is a depressed bombed out city that looks more at home in the former Czechoslovakia than Michigan. Yes, economic hardship has taken its toll on the city over the years but Hanson's vision of Detroit is at times so bleak that it's distracting. We see that Rabbit has a lot to overcome with his mother, played by Kim Basinger, an ex-girlfriend and soon to be mother of his child played by Bridget Moynihan, and with his would-be career in Hip-Hop. Is it necessary that he also overcome his physical surroundings, which seem to swallow him at times in a depressive gray hue. 

The little light there is comes from Rabbit's interaction with his crew, Future, Cheddar Bob (Evan Jones), D.J Iz (De Angelo Wilson) and Sol George (Omar Benson Miller). The easy fun interaction between the friends provide the few light moments 8 Mile provides.

8 Mile isn't a bad film, it's just too conventional at times. It's as if Curtis Hanson simplified his style to make an easier environment for his first time star. The film needs a more risk-taking style and less genre safety. The film plays too straight, it needs maybe some handheld camera style, and more close-ups or deep focus shots. Something different from the point and shoot style of every other film.  I liked 8 Mile, especially the on stage verbal warfare, but there is something wholly unsatisfying about it. I recommend 8 Mile but it's not as good as many of us had hoped.

Movie Review: Femme Fatale

Femme Fatale (2002) 

Directed by Brian De Palma

Written by Brian DePalma

Starring Rebecca Romijn, Antonio Banderas, Peter Coyle, Gregg Henry

Release Date November 6th, 2002 

Published November 5th, 2002

Whether you like Brian De Palma or not you have to respect a director who so often presses the boundaries of good taste, decency and filmmaking. So many of De Palma's films are unqualified classics simply for his willingness to push the envelope of filmmaking style and trashy storytelling. Films like Dressed To Kill and Raising Cain are such wildly fantastical slasher pictures that the viewer doesn't know whether to laugh or recoil in horror. Even when De Palma's risk-taking style fails (Snake Eyes), the failure is at least memorable.

Who can't remember that awesome 5-minute tracking shot at the opening of Snake Eyes with De Palma's voyeuristic floating camera following Nicholas Cage through an Atlantic City casino? Pure style. In Femme Fatale the De Palma's trademark stylishness is in place but much like Snake Eyes, it's a memorable failure.

The femme fatale of the title is Laure Ash played by supermodel Rebecca Romijn-Stamos. Laure is a professional thief who, with the help of two nameless black guys, plots to steal a million dollars in diamonds. In typical De Palma style the diamond heist is a trashy, exciting plot as the diamonds in question are being worn by a model attending the Cannes Film Festival. In fact, the diamond and gold outfit is basically the only thing the model is wearing. 

This is no trouble for Laure who has already made contact with the model and is planning on seducing the diamonds right off the models body. In a scene only De Palma could write, Stamos seduces the woman and has sex with her in a bathroom stall, and then uses the model to help her double cross her collaborators and walk out with the diamonds herself. The less I tell you about the diamond plot the better.

From there Laure has to get out of the country before her partners find her which leads her into a mistaken identity plot where she is confused for a grieving widow and taken in by the girl’s parents. While in the care of her pseudo parents she happens across a plane ticket and passport belonging to her lookalike. Boarding the plane with her new identity, she meets an American businessman played by veteran character guy Peter Coyote.

Cut to seven years later, Laure has married Coyote whose character is returning to Paris as the new American Ambassador. As Laure attempts to fly under the radar to avoid her past, her low profile attracts the attention of the French tabloids. One of the papers hire a paparazzi photographer played by Antonio Banderas to capture a photo of the new Ambassador's wife. He of course gets the photo, which is not surprisingly seen by her former partners. This sets off a chain of events that have Laure posing as an abused wife to lure Antonio into a plot she has designed to bilk her husband out of ten million dollars. Whatever happened to the diamonds is anyone's guess.



It’s not surprising that Stamos is the film’s biggest problem. As an actress, Stamos makes for sensational eye candy but she is completely overmatched as an actress. That is likely the reason why though she is the lead she has far less dialogue than her co-stars. She is never once believable as the badass manipulator that the character is supposed to be and she never projects the intellect a character like this would need to make it as far as she does.

De Palma is in rare form with his trashy take on classic Hitchcock. There is De Palma's legendary use of tracking shots and his unique use of amazing French architecture. The colors that saturated the France of Amelie are dimmed by rain covered streets in Femme Fatale but are nearly as vivid. De Palma is in love with his camera, floating it everywhere and using extensive close-ups to raise the tension of the film. If Stamos' performance weren't so chuckle-inducing, Femme Fatale could have been a style-over-substance cult classic. As it is, Femme Fatale is a missed opportunity for the director who lives for every opportunity, successful or otherwise.

Movie Review: The Truth About Charlie

The Truth About Charlie (2002) 

Directed by Jonathan Demme

Written by Jonathan Demme

Starring Mark Wahlberg, Thandie Newton, Tim Robbins, Ted Levine

Release Date October 25th, 2002 

Published October 24th, 2002 

There are many signs of a troubled production. Media rumors of on set strife. Inflated egos inflating budgets. And the ever present internet reviews of scripts and rough cuts, either intentionally leaked or stolen. Maybe the most quiet but telling portent of trouble is the shift of release dates. In most cases once completed a film is immediately put on the schedule. However if the studio releasing the film see’s something they don’t like, they delay the release and do what they can to hide and fix the problems.

Such was the case with The Truth About Charlie. A search of Upcomingmovies.com reveals a number of release dates and that the film was completed over a year ago. What is unclear after viewing the film is what was so bad about it that the studio so unceremoniously dumped it into release with so little fan fare. It’s not that bad.

Charlie stars Thandie Newton as a newlywed of three months who returns from a vacation, taken without her new hubby, to find her apartment and bank accounts empty. Her character, Regina, is informed that her husband Charlie has been killed while on a train ride to, well, no one is quite sure where he was going. Regina had thought Charlie was an art dealer but after the cops show her a number of different passports all belonging to the man she assumed was just her husband she is forced to re-evaluate everything she thought she knew. 

In the meantime she finds herself pursued by people from Charlie’s past who are searching for 6 million dollars Charlie stole from them. Regina, however, has no idea where it is. Throw into the mix an American named Joshua Peters (Mark Wahlberg) who just keeps popping up whenever she’s in trouble. Also throw in an American spy played by Tim Robbins as yet another character with questionable motives.

Based on the 1963 Grant-Hepburn movie Charade, The Truth About Charlie is a classic superfluous spy movie. A love story adventure where characters change sides at a moments notice and motivations change just as quick. Director Jonathan Demme’s sure-handed direction steadies what could have been a confusing and tiresome story. The film clicks along at a quick pace knowing that if it slows down too much, it’s paper thin story will unravel.

The only problem I could sense about the film is Mark Wahlberg as Joshua. Wahlberg seems to be sleepwalking through the role and never generates any palpable chemistry with co-star Thandie Newton. Newton on the other hand is sensational. Though Wahlberg gets top billing for box office purposes, this is clearly Newton’s movie. Give her a co-star who could project the charm and danger projected by Cary Grant in the original version and you might have quite a good film.

In the end unfortunately,`1 The Truth About Charlie is a thin but watchable Saturday night rental. The kind of film you can watch and immediately forget. See it for Newton who get’s more beautiful everytime she’s onscreen.

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