Movie Review Love Don't Cost a Thing

Love Don't Cost A Thing (2003) 

Directed by Troy Beyer 

Written by Troy Beyer 

Starring Nick Cannon, Christina Milian, Steve Harvey, Kenan Thompson, Kal Penn

Release Date December 12th, 2003 

Published December 12th, 2003  

Of all of the movies that I thought deserved another take, the dopey Patrick Dempsey teen comedy Can’t Buy Me Love never occurred to me. Despite being an iconic 80’s film for many, to me its a slight comedy about a nerd who buys his way into high school popularity had overtones of outright prostitution. I would have preferred to welcome its fall into 80’s obscurity. The ever unoriginal Hollywood swill factory however disagreed with my assessment and thus we have Love Don’t Cost A Thing, a cynical “urban” (read black) take on the story.

Nick Cannon, star of last year’s drumming drama Drumline, stars as Alvin Johnson. Alvin is a high school nerd who spends his time with his nerdy friends rebuilding cars and dreaming of what it would be like to have access to the popular kid’s hallway of their high school. Yes, the high school has a hallway where the rich, popular bullies and their hot girlfriends are separated from the rabble, indicating that even the high school teachers are in on this anti-nerd conspiracy.

Alvin’s dream girl is a popular cheerleader named Paris Morgan (Christina Milian) whose current boyfriend is an NBA star who jumped directly from high school to the NBA. Paris has no occasion to ever speak to Alvin until one night when she borrows her mother’s car and crashes it while arguing on the phone with her boyfriend. While getting the car looked at Paris finds that her mother will find out about the accident unless the car is fixed immediately. Enter Alvin with his car expertise and just enough of his own money to pay for the parts. In exchange for fixing the car, Paris will be Alvin’s girl and in the process help him become popular.

What a shock it is then when the plan succeeds and popularity goes to young Alvin’s head. Alvin drops his nerdy friends, begins wearing trendy clothes and a new hairstyle and before long, Alvin surpasses Paris in his high school stature. Do you think he has a comeuppance in his future? For his part, Nick Cannon affects a nerdy black kid better than I expected. That said, the part as written has him changing rather unconvincingly from Urkel to Puff Daddy and only the Urkel part works. Cannon is a charisma-challenged actor who has yet to show a spark of the stardom that has seemed thrust upon him in the past year since the debut of his Nickelodeon kids show in 2002.

Pop starlet Christina Milian equates herself better than expected, though expectations place her just ahead of Britney Spears on the pop-tart-turned-actress-chart well behind the far more accomplished Mandy Moore. The part as written by director Troy Miller affects depth by having Paris write bad poetry and play the guitar. She also bemoans popularity as a job rather than a mere social status, an interesting idea that goes nowhere.

Director Troy Beyer adapted the screenplay of Can’t Buy Me Love, written by Michael Swerdlick. The word adaptation is used loosely. She essentially just traces within the lines of the original film, changing only minor plot points and the ethnicity of the characters.

Therein lies the most insidious problem of the film. The retrofitting of this unoriginal idea for African American audiences is a sad cynical attempt to capitalize on the paucity of films with African-American lead characters. Because there are so few films with black, lead characters, African-American audiences are prone to support any film that features a black face. This has caused Hollywood’s cynical mass marketing machine to continue to limit opportunities for African-Americans in order to maintain them as a niche market. Assuming they are willing to accept cheap, easy to market trash like Love Don’t Cost A Thing at the expense of more challenging, artistic films with African-American lead casts.

Such cynicism is nothing new from Hollywood but when it deals with race, it becomes far more serious. A film as slight as Love Don’t Cost A Thing doesn’t have any kind of social agenda in its creation. Rather, it has one thrust upon it because there are so few films with predominantly African American casts and even fewer good ones. That is not due to a lack of talented African-American filmmakers but rather due to cheap knock offs and shortsighted money grubbing of the kind that creates movies like Love Don't Cost A Thing. 

Movie Review Honey

Honey (2003) 

Directed by Billie Woodruff

Written by Kim Watson

Starring Jessica Alba, Mekhi Pfifer, Joy Bryan, Lil Romeo

Release Date December 5th, 2003 

Published December 6th, 2003 

The TV series Dark Angel is one of my all-time favorites. I videotaped each episode and now have them all on DVD. I stopped short of getting the barcode tattoo on the back of my neck; I'm a fan but I'm not crazy. That said, when I first saw the trailer for Honey I wasn't as excited to see Jessica Alba as I should have been, probably because I could see the film’s formula construction from a mile away. Poor inner city girl makes good leaves behind friends and family to find success and is burned before returning to her roots. Sadly, seeing the film confirmed my feelings.

Alba is Honey Daniels, a wannabe video dancer who dreams of shaking her stuff in hip-hop videos. For now, she subsists by working as a bartender, working part-time in a record store, and teaching hip-hop dancing at a community center run by her stock, disapproving mother (played by Lonette McKee.) Honey finally gets a shot at her dream when a music video director plucks her out of the club where she parties with her best friend Gina (a stunningly hot Joy Bryant).

The director is Michael Ellis (David Moscow), a smarmy white guy who acts the part of a stereotypical black person to ingratiate himself with the artists whose videos he directs. Honey is conveniently oblivious to the fact that Michael likes her for more than her dance steps. Honey may be distracted by the more attractive advances of a neighborhood barber named Chaz (Mekhi Phifer), who woos her with his integrity as much as with his charm.

Honey is also distracted by attempting to help a pair of inner-city youngsters, Benny (Rapper Lil’ Romeo) and his little brother Raymond (cute-as-a-button Zachary Williams). The kids are terrific little dancers who come from an abusive home and are skirting the edges of a drug-dealing gang. Honey hopes that getting them in a music video could help them stay straight but when she rebuffs the director’s advances, the video is called off and the kids are back on the street.

This story requires Moscow's video director to act immensely irrational in a role that is already beyond grating because of his gangsta posing. Just once, I would like to see this stock characterization reversed. This character accepts the rejection and becomes a supportive friend instead of an over-the-top mustache-twirling villain. Just once.

This formula is so familiar that even lines of dialogue can be recited by rote. Director Billie Woodruff (a former music video director) brings only better music to this formula. Directing as if the film were only a clothesline from which to hang a soundtrack album, Honey parades a number of well-known hip-hop artists past the camera for cameos. Blaque, Jadakiss and Ginuwine have unmemorable screen time, while Missy Elliot steals the movie with her two scenes that take up little more than five minutes on screen. I wouldn't mind seeing Missy get her own film.

For her part, Alba is, at the very least, very committed to her formula role. She infuses Honey with sweetness and tenderness that sells her character’s best qualities. However, when forced by the script, she becomes merely a pawn of the god-awful plot machinations. Her forced obliviousness to the director’s amorous advances are laughable, right up until she finally figures it out. Her romance with Phifer's Chaz is believable because both actors are attractive and look good together. Phifer is slumming big time with this lightweight material; his charisma and presence deserve a far better film.

This poor-kid-makes-good formula is as old as film itself, but has taken on a more insidious quality as Hollywood has moved into its pre-packaged, assembly-line era of filmmaking. Honey is the type of film that can be mass produced and recycled to endless degrees and has been. Sadly it will be again. As I love to point out, Honey is yet another Hollywood movie that had a poster before it had a script. God help us.

Movie Review Timeline

Timeline (2003)

Directed by Richard Donner 

Written by George Nolfi, Jeff Maguire

Starring Paul Walker, Frances O'Connor, Gerard Butler, Billy Connelly, David Thewlis, Anna Friel, Michael Sheen, Ethan Embry, Martin Csokas

Release Date November 26th, 2003 

Published November 26th, 2003 

It's been five years since director Richard Donner last stepped behind a camera. That was for the deathly Lethal Weapon 4, a creaky cash grab of an action movie that made even the indomitable Mel Gibson look bad. In fact, it has been nearly 10 years since Donner has directed a good movie, 1994's Maverick (also with Gibson.) In his comeback, adapting Michael Crichton's time traveling novel, Timeline, Donner continues the downward slide of his once great career.

Paul Walker stars as Chris, the son of archaeologist Professor Edward Johnston (Billy Connelly). When the professor disappears on a job, his son and his crew of archaeology students including Marek (Gerard Butler), David (Ethan Embry) and Kate (Frances O'Conner) must follow his clues to find him. The Professor's last job was working for a mysterious corporation called ITC. The corporation’s scientists have figured a way to send human beings back in time but only to one specific location: Castleberg, France in the 14th century on the eve of war between the French and British.

Well, wouldn't you these students just happen to be experts in that exact era? In fact they are excavating that very battlefield. What an amazing coincidence. ITC has sent the Professor back to the 14th century and now want to send Chris and company back there to find him and bring him back. Oh but if it were that easy, we wouldn't have a movie. Accompanied by a shady military guy played by Neal McDonough and his two soon-to-be-dead lackeys, the gang has six hours to find the professor and get back to the future.

For Donner, working entirely on autopilot, the time travel plot is merely a clothesline on which to hang one lame action sequence after another. The action has the period authenticity of a high school production of Shakespeare. When we aren't being annoyed with the lame action scene, we are treated to plot points that screenwriters Jeff Maguire and George Nolfi obviously thought were clever. The script ham-handedly sets up things in the present that will payoff in the past. When the supposed payoffs come, the actors practically scream, "see how this paid off, wow aren't we clever.”

Some of the plot points pay off so obviously you can't help but giggle at the goofiness of it all. The actors react like children who just discovered a light switch and want to explain to the audience how it works.

For his part, Walker turns in yet another young Keanu Reeves impression. All that is missing is the signature "Whoa." Walker looks about as comfortable in period garb as Dom Deluise would in a thong. The rest of the cast isn't much better, especially a slumming Frances O'Connor as Walker's love interest. O'Connor was so good in Spielberg's A.I that scripts like this should be easy to pass on but somehow, here she is.

Donner's best days are clearly behind him. The man who made Lethal Weapon and Lethal Weapon II, arguably the best buddy movie franchise ever, and the man who made arguably the best superhero movie of all time--Superman with Christopher Reeve--has now settled into a depressing groove of just simply picking up his check and turning out below-average action movies that make for great posters but not much else.

Movie Review The Haunted Mansion

The Haunted Mansion (2003) 

Directed by Rob Minkoff 

Written by David Berenbaum 

Starring Eddie Murphy, Terence Stamp, Wallace Shawn, Jennifer Tilly 

Release Date November 26th, 2003 

Published November 25th, 2003 

It may be time to finally put our memories of Eddie Murphy 'comic genius' away for good. It seems we will never see Murphy's talent ever again. With every mediocre family movie in which he picks up an eight figure paycheck, the Eddie Murphy of our memory dies a little. Eddie can't go and make an edgy, raunchy, action comedy anymore because it might cost him his next family movie paycheck. With his latest mediocre family movie, The Haunted Mansion, Murphy pounds yet another nail into the coffin of his former comic persona.

In The Haunted Mansion, which is based on the Disney theme park ride, Murphy is real estate maven Jim Evers of Evers and Evers Real Estate. The family's cringe-inducing catchphrase is “Evers and Evers making your family happy for Evers and Evers.” Yikes. In an all too familiar plot, Jim works way too much, and his wife Sara (Marsha Tomason) is upset that he doesn't spend enough time with the kids, daughter Megan (Aree Davis) and son Michael (Marc John Jeffries).

To that end, Jim proposes a family trip to the lake with no work at all for the entire weekend. No work until a new client comes calling with a huge property to sell. It's a gothic 1800s mansion called Gracie Manor and if the Evers want the listing they have to come immediately. In what is supposed to be a quick detour from their trip, the family stops at Gracie Manor to meet the owner and wind up spending the night with ghosts, zombies, and various other horror movie staples.

The ghosts in the Haunted Mansion are Master Gracie (Nathaniel Parker) and his staff, headed up by Ramsley (Terrence Stamp) the butler and his assistants played by Wallace Shawn and Dina Spybey. Jennifer Tilly also shows up as a gypsy in magic ball. The ghosts of Gracie Manor can only escape if their curse is lifted and the vagaries of the curse involve a woman who looks exactly like Sara Evers. When Sara is captured by the ghosts, it's up to Jim to save her and find some other way to lift the curse.

Eddie Murphy, as he does even in his worst films, shows flashes of the kind of comedy we know he's capable of. Murphy remains charismatic and occasionally that comic spark comes back. But sadly, for the most part, Eddie Murphy in The Haunter Mansion is in pick up a check mode. Murphy's Jim Evers is a bumbling scaredy cat channeling Abbott & Costello meet Frankenstein, until it's time for him to save the day. That might not sound bad but Murphy's strength is not being Abbott or Costello and his idea of broad physical comedy is forced and unpleasant. 

Poor Terrence Stamp looks, in every scene, as if he can barely keep from rolling his eyes. Stamp's boredom with this lame material is evident in his every gesture, facial expression and line of dialogue. Like Murphy, he's not here to make The Haunted Mansion good, he's here to get his paycheck and go do something else. This is a feeling that permeates the entirety of The Haunted Mansion, a complete disinterest in actually making a good movie. 

Director Rob Minkoff is one of those studio hacks that Disney keeps on the payroll just for movies like this: Mediocre, inoffensive family comedies that need merely to transfer script to screen. Minkoff shows little directorial flair in The Haunted Mansion. It's likely he could spend his entire career turning out mediocre hits like this one or another Stuart Little movie. The Haunted Mansion is not an offensively bad movie. Merely a mediocre movie. Of course I've often wondered just which is worse, mediocre or just plain bad.

Movie Review Love Actually

Love, Actually 2003 

Directed by Richard Curtis

Written by Richard Curtis 

Starring Hugh Grant, Emma Thompson, Alan Rickman, Colin Firth, Liam Neeson, Keira Knightley

Release Date November 7th, 2003 

Published November 4th, 2003 

In Hollywood, the romantic comedy has been beaten to death by clichés and predictable, cookie-cutter plotting. For fans of the genre, our only solace comes when Working Title Films out of Britain releases yet another ingeniously witty, romantic comedy written by Richard Curtis. The man wrote Four Weddings and A Funeral and Notting Hill, and adapted the screenplay for Bridget Jones's Diary. Now, stepping behind the camera for the first time, Curtis shows he could be an industry all to himself writing and directing hit romantic comedies forever. His seemingly endless wit is once again on display in Love Actually, an epic romance if only for the names in its cast.

There are so many different actors and plots in Love Actuallythat it's difficult to condense, so I will lay out the best of the numerous plots individually. Hugh Grant has the best part as the newly-elected British Prime Minister. The film is set apparently sometime in the near future and there are some very funny moments where the script takes loving shots at current real-life Prime Minister Tony Blair. 

As the new prime minister prepares for the arrival of the American President, he begins a flirtation with his tea server Natalie (newcomer Martine McCutcheon). Curtis does an excellent job in balancing the job of prime minister with the script’s flights of romantic fantasy. When the American President arrives, a priceless cameo that I won't spoil, Grant's Prime Minister is allowed to have a point of view on world politics, especially Britain's perceived position as America's bitch, where less courageous directors would have glossed over any actual politics.

Laura Linney has another terrific part as a shy American transplant who is constantly glued to her cell phone. She is nursing a serious crush on one of her co-workers, a crush that everyone in her office from her boss (Alan Rickman) to the bitchy secretary knows about. Even the object of her affection knows about her feelings but is waiting for her to act. This subplot is bittersweet because Linney has a secret that is linked to her constantly ringing cell phone. It's another great piece of work by Linney who has long been one of my favorite actresses.

The most romantic of all the plots involves Colin Firth as a writer who moves away to France after finding his wife cheating with his brother. After moving into his French villa, he hires a maid named Aurelia (Lucia Moniz). The two have an interesting working relationship because Aurelia is Portuguese and doesn't speak a word of English. Their attempts at communicating are sweet and funny moments of misunderstanding. This plot shouldn't work but it does because of the subtle complicated work of Colin Firth. The plot is rushed and predictable but Firth is so winning you can't help but cheer for his happiness.

That is only a minor brushing of the characters in Love Actually, each of the characters I already mentioned have connections to other characters who have their own subplots. Emma Thompson plays Rickman's wife who wonders if her husband is cheating on her. Liam Neeson shows up as a widower left to raise a 10 year old stepson. Keira Knightley is a newlywed who has a secret admirer who happens to be her husband's best man. Bill Nighy plays an aging rocker, modeled on Mick Jagger, whose awful Christmas song plays throughout the film. The song, a holiday reworking of the pop standard “Love Is All Around '' is intentionally bad and Nighy's character freely admits it and his honesty makes the song defiantly a hit.

And there are still more plots I don't have the time or patience to describe. The cast is unwieldy but Curtis finds an almost awe-inspiring way of giving each time to develop and be resolved in ways that are satisfying and funny. Towards the end, just when you think there is no way to resolve all of these plot strands Curtis returns to a piece of dialogue from Hugh Grant's opening voiceover and uses it to unite the entire cast and make a grand point about the nature of love and life. It's a work of subtle brilliance that will cause audience members to leave the theater smiling at the conclusion of the film.

This is a wonderfully exuberant film filled with music, love, and romance that is never saccharine. That wonderful British wit is always in place and keeps the plot from spilling over into super sweetness. Something about the British accent that makes even the most wildly over-the-top flights of fancy seem smart and meaningful. This is one excellent romantic comedy from the last group of producers, director, and actors that can do it right.

Movie Review Shattered Glass

Shattered Glass (2003) 

Directed by Billy Ray 

Written by Billy Ray 

Starring Hayden Christensen, Peter Sarsgard, Chloe Sevigny, Rosario Dawson, Hank Azaria, Steve Zahn

Release Date October 31st, 2003 

Published October 30th, 2003 

The New Republic magazine prides itself as the in-flight magazine of Air Force One. Its pretentiousness has been earned by years of literate intelligent discourse on policy and international politics. Appreciate their perspective or not, you have to respect that they get into these subjects that so many average Americans think are boring.

So it was a huge black eye for the storied magazine to find out one of its writers had faked numerous stories. If there is one cardinal sin in journalism, it's lying, and Stephen Glass lied on a scale that dwarfs the lies of your average tabloid rag. The story of Glass's lies and how he was finally caught are the subject of the adroit and fascinating film Shattered Glass.

Hayden Christensen stars as Glass, the youngest writer on a staff whose median age is 26 years old. The 22-year-old Glass is a rising star with a habit of looking into fantastic stories. The stories occasionally raise suspicions but the puppy dog sweetness of Glass disarms co-workers who couldn't believe Steve would make up such a story. For the most part Stephen's stories check out, he has detailed notes and phone numbers from his subjects. Those subjects can tend to be unwieldy for fact checkers, but there is enough verifiable truth to what Stephen reports that the stories go through.

As the film progresses there is a very subtle shift of focus from the character Stephen Glass to the uncovering of Glass's deception, seen through the eyes of Peter Sarsgaard's New Republic Editor Chuck Lane. The shift is signaled almost unconsciously through scenes of Glass working late to cover his lies and Lane at home with his wife and daughter. These scenes allow the audience to choose sides without feeling bad for abandoning poor Stephen.

Coming to the story with a good knowledge of what Stephen Glass did and the type of person he is (his appearance on 60 Minutes earlier this year was the tip of the iceberg as to his serial compulsion toward hiding the truth), I never felt much of any sympathy for Glass. Thus, I came to Shattered Glass with my mind made up about the man and his crimes. There are however many people willing to like Glass as he's portrayed by the gifted Hayden Christensen. His Stephen Glass is a seemingly sweet natured glad hander who remembers everybody's birthday and offers to help you move without being asked.

I read another reviewer who was familiar with the real life players and who thought the film built up Chuck Lane as more pious than he ever truly was. I would disagree with that assessment in the context of the film. Perhaps the reviewer is too close to the real situation to consider the film. Lane as played by Peter Sarsgaard is merely a put-upon editor who happens to have a serious breach of journalistic ethics thrust in his lap. 

He rightfully despises Glass and his crimes and scenes early in the film establish the two characters at odds from the beginning. Personality-wise, it's not hard for me to dislike the serial glad-handing Glass and his childish reaction to anything critical. The character of Chuck Lane communicates a similar dislike throughout the film that makes angry outbursts near the end of the film nearly as personal as professional.

Few films have shone such a clear light on the journalistic process. How a piece goes from the reporter to the page and exactly how flawed that process can be if abused. First time director Billy Ray tells his story on two levels, getting to know the character of Stephen Glass and also showing us the behind the scenes action at a magazine. If only for a moment, it makes you consider all that goes into your favorite magazines.

What really stays with you after the film however is the performances of Hayden Christensen and Peter Sarsgaard, who perfectly inhabit their opposing characters. Christensen brings an almost creepy quality to the sweetness that so many people liked about the real Stephen Glass. That creepiness makes it that much easier to dislike him, and is important for audience members who don't understand how he did such a horrible thing. Sarsgaard, despite what others might say, never makes Chuck Lane into a journalistic crusader for ethics. He's a journalist and editor who is doing the right thing and has a righteous outrage toward Glass for the serious damage he did to the credibility of a magazine that made its reputation on credibility.

As a debut behind the camera, Billy Ray shows he knows how to tell a compelling story. His visual style doesn't leave much to the memory but this is a character piece and as such, it succeeds marvelously. Shattered Glass is one of the year’s best films.

Movie Review The Human Stain

The Human Stain (2003) 

Directed by Robert Benton 

Written by Nicholas Meyer 

Starring Anthony Hopkins, Nicole Kidman, Ed Harris, Gary Sinise 

Release Date October 31st, 2003 

Published November 4th, 2003 

This is truly one of the worst titles you've ever seen. It's made worse by the fact that it is only part metaphor and does in fact refer to the gutter-minded definition your so ashamed to ascribe it. In his 2000 novel The Human Stain, writer Phillip Roth makes it clear that his title refers to that infamous blue dress owned by Monica Lewinsky. Yes there is a deeper metaphorical meaning to the title for the books characters but it's the Monica definition that people come away with and in so doing, forget that there is a rather compelling drama behind that title.

For the film adaptation of Roth's novel, director Robert Benton may have been better off without the literal title. The film is all about the metaphor with little mention of Roth's contempt for the Clinton impeachment and to his book’s first act plot point. You shouldn't judge a book (or movie) by it's title but in this case it's hard not to. So many people will avoid seeing this film because of that title that it renders the whole thing meaningless.

Coleman Silk (Sir Anthony Hopkins) has, in his time as Dean of Classics at Berkshire College, turned the sleepy small town institution into the shadow of an Ivy League University. In so doing he has made many friends and many more enemies. Therefore, it's not surprising then that when he makes one seemingly minor mistake on the eve of his retirement that his enemies seize upon it to get rid of him early.

Coleman's mistake was referring to a pair of students who never showed up in his class as "spooks.” Coleman's reference was to the ghostly definition of the word but because the missing students were African-Americans a complaint was filed and some people seized on the other definition of the word spooks as a racial epithet. And so it is that the very people Coleman himself hired at the college that shove him out the door.

The controversy is ironic because Coleman himself is African-American though you would not know it to look at him. He has for most of his 71 years passed himself off as Jewish and because of his light skin has never had to admit to anyone he is black. Coleman never told his wife of more than 40 years or his colleagues at the college or his closest friend a writer, Nathan Zuckerman (Gary Sinise), who after Coleman's death must piece his life together from the scraps of lies and half truths he left behind.

Coleman's death is another great source of controversy. After quitting his job, losing his wife to an embolism and becoming a pariah in his small town, Coleman takes up a scandalous affair with Faunia Farley (Nicole Kidman) a woman half his age, divorced and working as a janitor at the college. Faunia's ex-husband Les (Ed Harris) is a Vietnam veteran and highly unstable.

The situation that Coleman has placed himself in is one that is obviously dangerous. It's a situation that someone of his dignity and intelligence should never find himself in, as his friends including Nathan and his Lawyer Nelson Primus (Clark Gregg) remind him constantly. However as Faunia tells him when they first meet, action is the enemy of thought. Coleman acts without thinking allowing lust to overcome logic. Whether or not Coleman and Faunia can achieve something beyond lust is one of the film’s central questions.

Parallel to the main love story is Coleman's history. Flashbacks take us back 50 years to when Coleman (played in the past by newcomer Wentworth Miller) first decided his life would be easier if lived as a white Jew. While attending school in New York City, Coleman meets a beautiful Midwestern blonde named Steena Paulson (Jacinda Barrett). Steena has no idea that Coleman is African-American, she assumes he is Jewish which explains his ethnic looks. It seems like true love but when Coleman brings Steena home to meet his mother, he gets his first lesson in why his life might be easier if he pretended he was someone else.

The backstory is actually far more interesting than the central love story. Wentworth Miller and Jacinda Barrett light up the screen with a fiery chemistry. Ms. Barrett is particularly surprising as she pulls off the wide-eyed innocence of a mid twentieth century Midwesterner. Until now she has been cast as sexpots, typecast from her time as a one the over-sexed simpletons on MTV's The Real World (she was in the London cast).

Of course, Sir Anthony Hopkins and Nicole Kidman make strong impressions, they are terrific actors. Their plot however is astoundingly dreary. Any momentary light that shines in their relationship is punished and it's only in the flashbacks to Coleman and Steena, before she dumped him, that we get any reprieve from the constant onslaught of misery.

Director Robert Benton has a knack for capturing older male characters preparing to conquer their old age. It was Benton who directed Paul Newman to his best late years performance in Nobody's Fool. Here he does well by Sir Anthony Hopkins by giving the legendary actor his first romantic lead role. Unfortunately, as great as Mr. Hopkins is, I never believed he and Wentworth Miller were playing the same character. After leaving his job at the college Coleman's connection to his past is left only as an ironic passage in his life. The film shifts it's focus to his relationship with Faunia which has nothing to do with race. It's an entirely different plot.

As for the allusion to the Lewinsky scandal, that was far more the book’s concern than the films. It is referred on more than one occasion and as in the book it is brought up as an example of political correctness run amok. It runs parallel to the ridiculousness of Coleman's own persecution for his racist remark that wasn't racist. Clinton's indiscretion was bad but not impeachable. 

The novel used Coleman and Faunia's many problems to magnify why Clinton-Lewinsky was such a meaningless endeavor, the movie makes the same reference and both seem heavy-handed to those of us who already realize what a bunch of trumped up ridiculousness Clinton-Lewinsky was. Of course issues of race, and death and family are more important than whether or not Bill Clinton got a BJ in the Oval Office. We know that! Thankfully the film doesn't linger on the point.

I would have liked to see more about Coleman growing up. Pretending to be white while coming of age in the 50's and 60’s with the rise of the Civil Rights movement, that has more inherent drama than any semi-controversial small town May-December romance ever could. Someday someone should revisit Roth's novel and extrapolate on the ideas put forth about Coleman's youth. That sounds like a movie I would like to see.

Movie Review Scary Movie 3

Scary Movie 3 (2003) 

Directed by David Zucker 

Written by Craig Mazin, Pat Proft 

Starring Anna Faris, Anthony Anderson, Kevin Hart, Leslie Nielsen, Simon Rex, Eddie Griffin 

Release Date October 24th, 2003 

Published October 23rd, 2003 

Scream was a film that changed the rules of modern horror forever by turning its conventions in on itself. Scary Movie had a timely “of the moment” quality even if the idea of parodying a film that was a parody in some respects itself was a little out there. Scary Movie succeeded, piling satire on top of pop culture scatology and earned its place amongst the best of modern madcap comedies. The sequel however could not match the energy of the original and most importantly its humor.

Now with a third sequel, Scary Movie has come to mirror the trilogy that inspired it. Scream 3 had none of the originality and creative energy of the first Scream and Scary Movie 3 is merely a pale imitation of its progenitor. The Zucker Brothers, the team behind the Airplane and Naked Gun films, take the creative reins from the Wayans Brothers. Even so, Scary Movie 3 is a limp parody of recent blockbusters ranging from The Matrix to The Others to M. Night Shyamalan's Signs and Eminem's 8 Mile. The modest 2002 horror hit The Ring provides the basis for much of the film’s satire.

Anna Faris returns as the series heroine Cindy Campbell, now working as a reporter ala Naomi Watts' character in The Ring. Cindy stumbles on two big news stories that may be connected, a videotape that promises death and crop circles in a small-town cornfield owned by Tom (Charlie Sheen in a parody of Mel Gibson's fallen priest in Signs). Simon Rex is George, Tom's younger brother and wannabe rapper a la Eminem in8 Mile. George is also Cindy's love interest in the film

None of the plot matters, of course, it's merely a jumping off point for movie parodies that reminded me of Weird Al Yankovic's song parodies. The film takes the plot of Signs or The Ring, recreates the scenes and simply changes the dialogue from melodrama to comedy. It's the same formula that worked so well in the original Scary Movie. However, the original smartly kept its focus on parodying one film at a time, Scary Movie 3 attempts to parody several different films all at once, at times more than one film in the same scene. The lack of focus forces the script to do a lot of explaining and re-explaining of what is being parodied. All of the exposition necessary to give context to the next gag is tiresome to say the least.

The film’s trailer is somewhat misleading. The trailer promises a Matrix parody with Queen Latifah and Eddie Griffin. In reality there is a bit of Matrix parody but Latifah and Griffin have more screen time in the trailer than in the actual film. I won't spoil the surprise of what actor plays the role of the Architect in another Matrix riff but it's one of the film’s few bright spots.

The film’s weak spots are numerous but especially glaring are its weak attempts at racial humor. The scenes that parody 8 Mile are completely off the mark and Simon Rex is especially overmatched attempting to send up Eminem who's verbal virtuosity is ten times funnier than any of the weak satire of Scary Movie 3. 

How do you send-up a character who himself is a brilliant parodist? You have to be able to top him and the Zucker Brothers never come close to any satire that Eminem hasn't already done himself and funnier. The Zucker's clearly lack the Wayans's sharp eye for racial humor. While watching the 8 Mile send-ups, you’re left to wonder how the Wayans Boys would have handled the same material and you know it would be far funnier.

The only thing Scary Movie 3 has going for it is Anna Faris who once again shows an astounding comedic ability to rise above even the most revolting indignities. Her Cindy Campbell has been beaten to heck in each of the three films and still Faris manages to shine. Faris takes on all of the lowest forms of humor with chipper aplomb and winks at the audience the whole way. She is the only element of Scary Movie 3 that works.

The Zucker Brothers with writing partner Jim Abrahams invented the parody genre. With Scary Movie 3 they may have effectively ended it from a creative standpoint. It's clear they have lost their deftness and comic touch in favor of half-assed, inane scatology. From a commercial standpoint unfortunately, the genre will likely have another life, it is clear this film will be a hit despite its innumerable flaws.

Movie Review Radio

Radio (2003)

Directed by Michael Tollin 

Written by Mike Rich 

Starring Cuba Gooding Jr, Ed Harris, Alfre Woodard, Debra Winger, Sarah Drew 

Release Date October 24th, 2003 

Published October 25th, 2003

Writer-Director-Producer Michael Tollin seems to aspire to mediocrity. A cursory look at his resume shows just that, a string of mediocre films as both a director and a producer. He has a particular affinity for the most mediocre of genres, the sports movie. With his partner, Brian Robbins, Tollin was a part of the predictable football movie Varsity Blues, the lame and predictable baseball movie Hardball and the God-awful Freddie Prinze Jr. movie Summer Catch. The latest addition to the Tollin-Robbins sports pantheon is Radio, a cloying tearjerker that hits all the manipulative notes.

The film stars Cuba Gooding Jr. as a mentally challenged man named Radio, a nickname given to him by Coach Harold Jones, the coach of the local High School football team. Coach decides to help out Radio after finding some of his players harassing the poor guy. Coach makes Radio a part of the team, allowing him to take part in practices and eventually allowing him into the school and classes.

Radio's involvement with the team and the school is good for him but is met with some resistance by a local booster Frank Clay (Chris Mulkey), who doesn't like Radio because, well, because he's just mean. That is really the only reason the movie gives for his unnecessarily rude behavior toward Radio who everyone else in town loves.

S. Epatha Merkerson turns up in the unforgiving role of Radio's mother whose fate is foretold from her first appearance onscreen. The rest of the supporting cast is less than memorable. Debra Winger is nearly unrecognizable in the role of the coach's wife, and young Sarah Drew in her first live action film role (she did voice work on TV's Daria) is not bad as the coach's oft-forgotten daughter.

Ed Harris is the only real asset of the film. His stature and dignity infuse his role with more credibility than it deserves. As written, the character is rather wishy-washy liberal do-gooder but with Harris in the role, the character has more weight and the melodramatic script is improved with his presence and delivery.

As for Gooding, just add Radio to the growing list of roles that have marked his career's death spiral since his Oscar winning role in Jerry Maguire. I've written way too much about Gooding's self destruction and it's getting harder and harder to watch. Jerry Maguire continues to be one of my all time favorites and Gooding was a huge part of that. However, the goodwill he earned from his role as Rod Tidwell is completely gone and his presence in any film is becoming unwelcome.

As for Tollin and his producing partner Brian Robbins, Radio shows little improvement over their previous mediocre outings. While it's billed as a true story and there is a real man named Radio who lives for high school football in South Carolina, the movie of his life never once rings true. Rather it is the same market-tested family drama that is better left to Hallmark Hall of fame.

Movie Review: Apocalypto

Apocalypto (2006) 

Directed by Mel Gibson

Written by Mel Gibson, Farhad Safinia 

Starring Rudy Youngblood

Release Date December 8th, 2006 

Published December 7th, 2006 

I truly believe that Mel Gibson needs psychological counseling. I'm not joking. It's not just his very public personal problems, but also his career choices and bizarre blood fetish. All the way back to his Oscar winning epic Braveheart, to his blood soaked take on the death of Jesus in The Passion of the Christ and now his latest blood soaked adventure Apocalypto takes Mel's his sanguine obsession to new horrifying depths.

Apocalypto is more violent and gruesome than all three Saw pictures combined. It makes Mel's own Passion look like a kiddie picture. Gibson has gone over the deep end with his obsession with viscera and yet his direction is so confident and professional I'm tempted to forgive his bloodlust. I can't; but I'm tempted.

In 500 B.C the Mayan culture came to a bloody and violent end. The fear, tumult and consumption grew to such epic proportions that it simply could no longer sustain itself. Mel Gibson's Apocalypto picks up the story near the end as the decadent violence began spilling beyond the mayans own borders. Human hunters began rampaging through small villages murdering innocent tribes and taking hostages who will become human sacrifices to the mayan gods.

Jaguar Paw (Rudy Youngblood) is a member of a small tribe on the far periphery of the Mayan empire. A peaceful hunting group, the tribe is living idyllically in peace when a mayan hunting group overruns them. Jaguar Paw manages to hide his pregnant wife and daughter in a crevasse before joining the fight and being taken hostage. Before he is taken however, he is forced to watch as his father is murdered.

Jaguar Paw and much of his tribe are marched back to the Mayan enclave where a giant stone staircase has been erected. The stairs are covered in blood and guts and as Jaguar Paw looks up at this massive structure; sacrifices are already taking place and seem to have started and never stop. As he is marched to the top heads roll down the stairs and bodies piled in gruesome, stomach turning piles next to the bloody alter.

Only a miracle saves Jaguar Paw from becoming a sacrifice but his escape is not assured. The hunting group decides to play a dangerous game, allowing Jaguar Paw to run away as they fire arrows and spears at his back. When he finds his way back to the forest the film becomes an epic chase scene filled with exciting escapes and horrifyingly brutal hand to hand combat.

On the one hand I was literally turning green from the stomach turning violence of Apocalypto. On the other hand, Gibson's filming of this violence, and especially the electrifying chase scenes, is so compelling I wanted to really like this film. His skill is so strong and his direction so assured that even the brutality is exceptionally well directed. Gibson's bloodlust is absolutely repellent, but his skill as a filmmaker is remarkable.

Rudy Youngblood is a terrific young actor who does an exceptional job in seperating himself from the rest of the cast and earning our sympathy. His performance goes along way to making Apocalypto an absorbing human drama. If it just wasn't so beyond acceptable levels of brutality I could recommend this film. As it is, Apocalypto is simply to vicious and blood soaked for me to recommend it to anyone, no matter how strong their stomach may be.

Alfred Hitchcock managed to make Birds a menacing force without having them ripping out someones eyeball. Martin Scorsese uses gory violence sparingly in his The Departed which gives the graphic nature of that violence much more punch. Mel Gibson could stand to learn a few things from Hitchcock and Scorsese. The extreme nature of the violence Gibson depicts in Apocalypto never fails to shock but the repetitive use of gory viscera does become numbing after a while and takes a great deal away from the compelling aspects of this story.

A touch of subtlety and Apocalypto could have been an extraordinary, epic, action adventure. As it is, the only thing anyone will take away from the experience of Apocalypto is just how sick a human being Mel Gibson must be. Gibson is obsessed with blood and guts and while he may justify his bloodlust by saying that he is trying to be 'realistic', there is no justification for presenting such brutality. There is a way to be true to the violence of Apocalypto without exploiting the gory aspects of it.

Mel Gibson is a terrifically talented director. He could be a great director, one who goes down in history. Unfortunately his obsession with blood and guts, and rolling heads down stairs, and ripping out peoples hearts, and stacks of headless human bodies makes him nothing more than a slasher filmmaker. He is just a cut above snuff films with his fixation on viscera and gore in Apocalypto as well as Passion of The Christ and Braveheart.

There is another oddball aspect of Apocalypto that needs to be mentioned. Early in the film, as Gibson is establishing the Idyll nature of Jaguar Paw's village, the tribe hunts and as they do they play pranks on one another and speak in a fashion that reminded me of the offhand nature of a Seinfeld episode. This is kind of entertaining but Gibson's translation of the mayan language used by his characters leaves one to wonder if he is being true to his characters or just going for cheap laughs.

Mel Gibson is impossible for me to like as a person, but as a director his talent is undeniable. His direction of Apocalypto is professional, polished and compelling. However, his bloodlust is so disturbing you must once again wonder about his character. How can a filmmaker, or any human being for that matter, meditate so deeply on such extreme violence.

I'm sure Mel Gibson felt the violence of Apocalypto was necessary to tell this story but the extreme nature of that violence is so graphic and so horrifying that it is fair to question his mental state. No matter how well depicted, I simply cannot recommend this level of violence to anyone no matter their tolerance for extreme amounts of blood and guts.

Mel Gibson, please seek help.

Movie Review In the Cut

In the Cut (2003)

Directed by Jane Campion

Written by Jane Campion, Susanna Moore

Starring Meg Ryan, Mark Ruffalo, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Kevin Bacon 

Release Date October 31st, 2003 

Published October 30th, 2003 

Meg Ryan is at a serious career crossroads. She can no longer get by on her kewpie-doll romantic comedy roles (she's been replaced in those roles by Kate Hudson). She is now desperate to redefine herself in a manner that is appropriate to her age (42! Looks not a day over 30) and fading star power. In The Cut is the first attempt to change people's perception and while she delivers a fine performance, the film that surrounds her is an insultingly stupid, cop movie cliché.

In The Cut stars Ryan as Frannie, a creative writing teacher with an affinity for slang terms. She is planning a book about the subject with help from one of her students, a charismatic young black kid named Cornelius (Sharrief Pugh). The kid has an obvious crush on his teacher and there is the slightest bit of sexual tension between them. When the two meet up at a bar to trade new slang terms, Frannie witnesses a man being serviced by a woman in the bathroom. That woman is later found dead behind Frannie's apartment.

The officer investigating the case is Detective Malloy (Mark Ruffalo) who shows an immediate attraction to Frannie despite her frigid treatment of him in their first meeting. As he investigates the murder, which is linked to a series of murders by a serial killer, Malloy flirts terribly with Frannie and she relents to date him even though he persists with questions about the murder while on the date. Malloy is also quite blunt in his intentions about having Frannie in bed, telling her on the first date that he will fuck her in any way she wants.

Like most women, Frannie can't resist this guy who is obviously bad for her, so bad in fact that she begins to suspect him of the murders and still dates him and beds him. Her suspicions go back to the mystery man in the bar bathroom who's face she didn't see but who's odd wrist tattoo she does remember.

The other people in Frannie's life are her slutty sister Pauline (played with unending skill by Jennifer Jason Leigh), who suggests that Frannie go out with the cop if only to have sex with him. There is also Frannie's ex-boyfriend John (played by the uncredited Kevin Bacon), a mentally unbalanced med student who has taken to stalking her since she dumped him.

Each of the men in the film, including Malloy's partner Detective Rodriguez (Nick Damici), become suspects in the serial killings while female characters line up to be victims. Whether that is meant as an overt statement or not we are left to wonder. What is clear is that we have seen this movie before in a number of straight to video and late night HBO movies. Woman falls in love with a man who may be a killer while other characters act just shady enough to be suspect as well. Then the heroine goes out of her way to blindly place herself in danger in service of the idiot plot.

This is one tired old cliché and one that director Jane Campion should be ashamed to reuse. Campion is too skilled a writer and director for such an awfully conventional thriller plot. Based on a novel by Susanna Moore, who also helped in the adaptation, the only innovation Campion brings to this series of thriller clichés is her arty, pretentious, handheld camera style. Campion's camera bounces around in cars, fades in and out of focus and lends a gauzy haze to nearly every scene and it is eye-catching and quite well conceived. However the stylishness is entirely wasted on this idiot plot.

Of course what everyone is wondering about In The Cut is, how does Meg Ryan look naked? She looks terrific. Unfortunately, as Campion builds the sexual tension in every scene she forgets to make the sex in any way important to the plot. The sex scene between Meg and Mark Ruffalo is one of a number of well-acted scenes by these two excellent actors but the dumb, stupid, idiot plot, undermines both.

Anyone remember the Denzel Washington movie The Bone Collector? Remember how they chose that film’s serial killer by pulling a cast member's name out of a hat (I think that is how they did that). In The Cut does exactly the same thing. The film seems to choose its serial killer randomly and completely outside of the plot and established characters. This forces Ryan into one forced scene of stupidity after another before finally ending with a quiet thud.

It's doubtful that so much talent and skill has gone into making such an awful film. In The Cut is well crafted and well acted but the story is so stupid that you hate it even more than if it had been a complete disaster.

Movie Review Redline

Redline (2007) 

Directed by Andy Cheng

Written by Robert Forman 

Starring Tim Matheson, Eddie Griffin, Angus MacFadyen

Release Date April 13th, 2007 

Published April 14th, 2007 

I've never heard of Chicago Pictures before but based on the company's first feature, the misogynist racing picture Redline, this is likely some fly by night outfit unsatisfied with fate as a direct to video product purveyor. Redline is an ugly, low budget Z-movie that only Roger Corman could love. Babes in bikinis are one thing but when the female lead is cast only for the look of her bust in various tight tops you know you are not dealing with a high class outfit.

How can a film so blindingly inept as Redline actually get released to theaters? It is a complete mystery. I have seen films made by teenagers on a budget no bigger than a six pack of Mountain Dew make a better movie on a cellphone camera than Redline. To be fair, the kid with the cellphone did have the advantage of a far better script.

Ostensibly the story of gangsters and an illegal off road classic car race, Redline is a z-movie take on Fast and the Furious without artistic integrity. A guy just back from the army accepts an invitation from his gangster uncle to participate in this illegal race only after his beloved cousin is killed in the course of a race.

Our army man is determined to find the people responsible for his cousins death and in the process finds a love interest in the form of a sexy car mechanic who gets roped into the race by a shady gambler (Eddie Griffin) and is then lost by the gambler as part of a bet on the race. Not knowing that she was the subject of a wager, our mechanic friend is not exactly a good sport about all of this.

The climax is an inevitable damsel in distress rescue with guns and explosions and no doubt a big smooch at the end for our heroes. I have no idea what actually happened at the end of Redline because I walked out. Yes, I know, that is not very professional of me. In my defense; you haven't seen how truly excremental Redline is.

There is only so much misogyny that I can put up with and Redline simply crosses the line. In the background of nearly every scene of Redline are women dancing in cages, women running around in bikinis or, directly in front of the camera is the female lead of the film in a too small tank top pointing her breasts toward the screen.

Now, as a man I won't deny enjoying looking at beautiful women in various states of undress. However, if I want to objectify women, I'll do it in the privacy of my own home. Redline is so disgustingly misogynist, so leeringly creepy, that it really feels like porn even though there is no nudity. Oh yeah! no nudity and yet Redline manages to feel dirtier than most of the softcore garbage on Cinemax late at night.

Mostly, it's the perverse attitude of the film. The fact that there is no strong female presence that isn't somehow an objectified piece of meat. The fact that every frame is filled with the cast offs of Girls Gone Wild. I realize that Redline is all in good fun and that the women in the movie take part of their own volition but I failed to see the point of it all.

Making things worse is the utter ineptitude of the making of Redline. From the awful, grubby cinematography of Bill Butler to the slipshod editing of Dallas Puett to director Andy Cheng's stunningly incompetent direction. It's fair to say I was almost as offended by the sheer awfulness of Redline as I was by its attitudes.

Blindingly awful, Redline is an example of the kind of film that for a long time didn't make it to theaters. This trash used to go directly to video stores. Now, more and more, movies of this ilk are ending up at the multiplex and it is an absolute mystery to me. A movie like Redline may not have cost anything to be made but how much money could this garbage have made in the week it was in theaters? Enough to pay for the film that was wasted on it?

I doubt it.

Movie Review Hancock

Hancock (2008) 

Directed by Peter Berg 

Written by Vince Gilligan 

Starring Will Smith, Charlize Theron, Jason Bateman, Eddie Marsan

Release Date July 2nd, 2008 

Published July 1st, 2008 

It's the fourth of July weekend and that means Will Smith is back in theaters. This time the world's biggest box office draw is playing a drunken superhero with a major image problem in Hancock. Directed by Peter Berg, Hancock is not your typical Will Smith movie. Playing against type as a charisma free jerk, Will Smith is still funny and fun to watch but also slightly off.

Laying on a bus bench in Los Angeles, with liquor bottles laying at his feet, Hancock (Smith) looks like a homeless guy. However, he happens to be a superhero who makes it his business to get the bad guys and protect the innocent, regardless of the damage he does along the way. Hancock causes as much or more destruction saving lives and protecting property as the bad guys do committing their crimes.

No wonder then that the people of LA despise their superhero savior. Media savvy image consultant Ray Embrey (Jason Bateman) decides he will try and change that negative image. Hancock rescued Ray when his car became trapped on railroad tracks with a train bearing down. Naturally, Hancock stopping the train may have saved Ray's life but derailing the train damaged hundreds of other cars and will no doubt cost millions in clean up and other such costs.

At Least Ray is grateful, he even invites Hancock home for dinner with his family, wife Mary (Charlize Theron) and son Aaron (Jae Head). Mary is exceptionally uncomfortable around Hancock while Aaron is the rare kid who sees Hancock as a hero. Ray makes it his goal to turn Hancock from a pariah into a hero by making people miss him. The plan involves Hancock actually going to jail for all of his destructive behavior before being sprung by the very people who put him away after they realize how much they need his help. 

Meanwhile, Mary is holding back something she knows about Hancock; a revelation that eventually becomes an important bit of plot. But the less said about that the better.   

Anyone who has read the Watchmen comics or saw Pixar's The Incredibles will recognize elements of each that combine to create Hancock. Alan Moore's Watchmen series with its jaundiced view of flawed, failing heroes no doubt informs Hancock's flawed alcoholic act. Fans of the Incredibles on the other hand will recognize a major plot point of that film where heroes were forced to give up saving the world from evil after being sued too often and blamed for the damage caused in their effort to serve and protect.

Hancock is nowhere near as special as its influences but with a terrific cast it manages to be consistently entertaining. Smith, playing against type as a charisma free jerk, manages a star performance unlike any he has delivered before. I particularly enjoyed the way Hancock dealt with his anger in ways only a superhero could.

When it comes to bringing the funny in Hancock Jason Bateman is the comic relief. Bateman's nonplussed facial reactions and wry comments on Hancock's brutish behavior are terrifically timed and quite reminiscent of his wonderfully sly Arrested Development character Michael Bluth whose constant astonishment at the depths of his family's ruthlessness was one of the great running gags in TV history.

In an interesting coincidence it was during Arrested Development that Bateman first met and sparked great chemistry with Charlize Theron. Now Theron and Bateman are together again and the chemistry remains strong. Theron's Mary is unfortunately underwritten and suffers from a mid-movie twist that seems to exist only to justify hiring an Oscar winning actress such as Ms. Theron. 

Still, despite the way Theron's Mary is treated by the plot, Theron sparks with Bateman and in a different way with Will Smith. Though you will find the plot hard to believe, Theron's penetrating gaze aimed in Smith's direction communicates a great deal of emotion without words because Ms. Theron is such a terrific actress. Unfortunately, by the fifth time she stands and stares Hancock down, you will want to scream at the screen for her to just say what she is thinking already.

Hancock is entertaining and involving if more than a little uneven and lacking in depth. There are a wealth of possibilities for a story such as this but with little care for creating believable back stories, or as the comics call'em, origin stories for the hero and his various nemeses, Hancock becomes merely a series of well planned effects and stunts and not much more.

Those effects and stunts are fun but not entirely satisfying and thus Hancock is only good and not quite great.

Movie Review In the Valley of Elah

In the Valley of Elah (2007) 

Directed by Paul Haggis 

Written by Paul Haggis 

Starring Tommy Lee Jones, Charlize Theron, Jonathan Tucker, Frances Fisher, Susan Sarandon 

Release Date September 14th, 2007 

Published September 13th, 2007 

I'm going to come off ignorant or insensitive in this review. Of this I have no doubt. I can't begin to guess what is like for our soldiers in Iraq and thus to draw conclusions, especially from a movie, is going to bring out my ignorance to some readers and my insensitivity to others. Nevertheless, I can't dismiss In The Valley of Elah and the extraordinary pain and anger it evokes and where that anger comes from. Written and directed by Paul Haggis, In The Valley of Elah is a sometimes maddening, sometimes dawdling and always compelling drama of a father, a son, and a war that should not be fought.

Growing up in the home of Hank Deerfield (Tommy Lee Jones) a boy knew he was going into the military. Hank is the kind of patriotic American who gets up early to help properly raise the flag over the middle school. Mike Deerfield (Jonathan Tucker), whether he was ready or not, went to Iraq because he wanted to make his father proud.

When the call comes that Mike has gone AWOL from the Fort Rudd military base in New Mexico, Hank thinks his son couldn't possibly be missing in New Mexico, he's still in Iraq. Turns out that Mike's unit came home several days earlier and, for some reason, he didn't call home. Thinking his son is drunk and in the bed of some lovely young local; Hank drives through the night to Fort Rudd to help find his son.

What Hank eventually discovers is that his son is dead, butchered and burned in a vacant field on the edge of the base. Sensing that the military is set to sweep his son's death under the rug, Hank turns to the local cops and detective Emily Sanders (Charlize Theron) who resists the potential jurisdictional fight with the military until Hank shows her evidence that both the locals and the military investigators missed. Thus begins a murder mystery that uncovers truths about Michael that Hank may not have ever wanted to know. The son he sent to Iraq was not the man who returned from Iraq.

Paul Haggis directs In The Valley Of Elah with an eye toward meditative sadness. Mixing an almost subliminal anti-war message into a rather straight edge murder mystery, In The Valley of Elah can be quite maddening. The film distracts itself with murder mystery conventions while truly being about the horrors of war and the trauma of the young men forced to fight it.

To point out that our soldiers could be vulnerable to great sadness and pain after having experienced war is considered by some to be unpatriotic. That is the cover that pro-war politicians take in order to justify the continuation of a failed policy that has cost us all so much. A generation of young men dying, losing limbs and scarred forever emotionally, all for what? What are they fighting for?

In The Valley of Elah offers this sentiment under the guise of a murder mystery and maybe this is the way to get some people to listen. Drawn to the movie by the mystery plot people will be exposed to the pain, the sadness and the futility of this war. Even as we are told that the war is turning around we cannot forget the young men and women who died not knowing what it was they were fighting for.

The final image of In The Valley of Elah is the one straightforward moment of commentary in the film. It's a powerful symbol of a distressed nation dealing with losses it can hardly begin to understand. Lied into a war with the wrong country; with loved ones dying for a cause that seemed to change with the wind, In The Valley of Elah captures the heartache and devastation of the losses we should all feel for allowing this travesty to begin and continue today.

Movie Review: Aeon Flux

Aeon Flux (2005) 

Directed by Karyn Kusam

Written by Phil Hay, Matt Manfredi 

Starring Charlize Theron, Martin Csokas, Johnny Lee Miller, Sophie Okonedo, Frances McDormand

Release Date December 2nd, 2005 

Published December 1st, 2005 

Aeon Flux was born on MTV's short lived but groundbreaking animation showcase Liquid Television. The short cartoons were brilliantly weird and entirely wordless. Our heroine was an anarchist in dominatrix gear making trouble wherever she went and losing her life at the end of every adventure. When Aeon Flux was given her own half hour show on the network the bizarre action extended to wildly esoteric, nonsensical dialogue, and kinky sexuality, all of which combined to make Aeon a cult legend.

The character seemed long dead when Hollywood finally came calling with a full length live-action film. Charlize Theron as the lead and hot indie director Karyn Kusama (Girlfight) both seemed like interesting choices. However, the most important thing was the script, which went ahead without Peter Chung the creator of the series. Without Chung's guiding influence, the film adaptation of Aeon Flux morphed into yet another sci-fi action adventure retread.

The year is 2415. Most of the world's population has been wiped out by some mysterious virus. There is now only one city left in the world where the last 5 million people on Earth reside. One man, Trevor Goodchild (Martin Csokas), has found the cure to the virus and has become a leader. With his brother, Oren (Johnny Lee Miller), Trevor has crafted a perfect society called Bregna.

Underneath the surface of this new perfection, a group of mercenaries, called Monicans, has sprung up to expose the lies hiding behind the veil of the Goodchild society. People have been disappearing randomly throughout Bregna and somehow the government is behind it. One of those missing is the sister of a Monican assassin named Aeon Flux (Theron).

Sexy and deadly Aeon is tasked with killing Goodchild, which it is thought will bring down the government and expose what happened to the missing citizens. However, when Aeon finally gets her chance to complete her mission, a flash of memory that links Aeon and Trevor prevents her from finishing the job and opens up another secret that threatens to blow the lid off of Bregna.

In looking at Aeon Flux and separating it from the television series, there are some appealing moments and solid sci-fi work. Director Kusama, with the help of cinematographer Stuart Dryburgh and production designer Andrew McAlpine, occasionally capture some terrific sci-fi landscapes. A scene where Aeon and a cohort scale the courtyard in front of a government building is an excellent action sequence and a visually imaginative sci-fi creation.

Praise also goes to costume designer Beatrix Aruna Pazstor who creates a sleek and sexy future wardrobe for Theron. While I would have loved to see what Pazstor might have done with some of Chung's designs from the series, she does a terrific job in creating some beautifully sexy and functional gear to adorn Theron, which I realize is not the most difficult job, but still well done.

Unfortunately the script and plotting of Aeon Flux fails the fine technical work. Writers Phil Hay and Matt Manfredi, ostensibly working from the framework of an episode of the TV show, craft an entirely unoriginal sci-fi story about cloning, the environment, and government corruption. Typical targets of a typical sci-fi movie, and typical is something that Aeon Flux should never be.

The brilliance of the series was to take on familiar sci-fi tropes and turn them on their ear with oddity, sexuality, and imagination. The film adaptation lacks all three. Even odder, however, is Kusama's decision to keep one minor detail of the television series: flat, monotone line deliveries. The series, one assumes, employed a flat, almost lazy approach to dialogue because it was never about what was being talked about. The movie is about something, the characters have a point to make and a goal to achieve, and when they approach their dialogue in this flat way they simply seem bored.

Watching Aeon Flux as a fan of the original series is like having teeth pulled without anesthesia. Gone are all of the elements that made Aeon Flux exciting. Gone is the wildly eclectic dialogue, the mixed sexuality, and the obtuse plotting. Granted those are elements that are anathema to most mainstream audiences but the reason to make Aeon Flux into a feature film was because of these elements. Taking away what made Aeon Aeon leaves one to wonder why make the film at all. Why not develop an original sci-fi character for Theron to play and leave Aeon Flux, and more importantly her small but loyal fanbase, alone?

Aside from the occasionally attractive visuals the one reason to see Aeon Flux is Theron. Getting her post-Oscar curse out of the way, like Adrien Brody (The Village) and Halle Berry (Catwoman) before her, Theron hopefully can put this behind her and get back to more interesting work, like her other 2005 effort, North Country.

Theron has had a most unique career. A pariah before her transformative Oscar-winning role in Monster, she suffered through far worse films than Aeon Flux. Garbage like Devil's Advocate, Sweet November and The Astronaut's Wife were a trial by fire for Theron, who responded well by making all of those films a distant memory in Monster. Aeon Flux should merely be another minor bump in the road for this terrific actress.

Movies like Aeon Flux are why people hate movie studios and the people who operate them. We know why Paramount made Aeon Flux, because it was easy to market through its subsidiary, MTV, which also happened to own the rights to the character. It's the laziest form of dealmaking and filmmaking. For the artistry and hard work that went into crafting it, Aeon Flux is just that much more of a disaster for the gutlessness that went into stripping the character of what made her unique.

Creator Peter Chung is still hoping to make a direct-to-video Aeon Flux animated film. After the annihilation of his work in the live-action arena, Paramount owes one to Chung and to the real fans of the real Aeon Flux.

Movie Review Long Shot

Long Shot (2019) 

Directed Jonathan Levine 

Written by Dan Sterling, Liz Hannah

Starring Charlize Theron, Seth Rogan, O'Shea Jackson, Andy Serkis, June Diane Raphael

Release Date May 3rd, 2019 

Published May 2nd, 2019 

Long Shot stars Seth Rogen as the unattractively named Fred Flarsky. Fred is a journalist who just quit his job working as a liberal activist journalist after his newspaper was bought by a right wing media conglomerate. Looking to drown his sorrows, Fred meets up with his pal, Lance (O’Shea Jackson), a rich investor type, who promises to take him for a fancy night out. This night out, with drugs and booze of all sorts, culminates with a fancy party where Boyz II Men is performing. 

While Fred is excited to see his favorite 90’s R & B group, his night gets even more exciting when he spots Secretary of State Charlotte Field (Charlize Theron), in the crowd. Charlotte and Fred knew each other in middle school when Charlotte babysat for the three years younger Fred. Fred relays a remarkably embarrassing story about humiliating himself with a kiss attempt on Charlotte before she actually has him summoned for a chat. Seems she remembers him and the two strike up their old friendship. 

Against the better judgment of her staff, headed up by Maggie (June Diane Raphael) and Tom (Ravi Patel), Charlotte decides to hire Fred as a speech writer. You see, Charlotte is about to leave the job of Secretary of State behind and make a run for the Presidency and one of her weaknesses, according to polling data, is her sense of humor. She hopes that Fred’s writing can make her funny. She also just simply finds his oafishness charming. 

Charlotte has secured the endorsement of President Chambers (Bob Odenkirk), a Hollywood actor who once played the President on TV who somehow became the real President. Odenkirk is a scene stealer on par with the all time greats and he makes this cameo performance a spiky delight, indicting the audience and American politics for being attracted to flashy politicians. Yes, it’s a transparent dig at our current President, but Odenkirk makes it more singular and very funny. Watch for the scene where he describes why he’s decided to leave office. It’s a classic. 

Charlotte is embarking on a world tour and she is bringing Fred along to write her speeches and while that happens, the two develop a genuine bond. The chemistry between Charlize Theron and Seth Rogen is really strong. She’s an incredible actress who really sells why she is attracted to Fred and Rogen is charming enough in a rather far-fetched role to make us buy into why a woman as ungodly gorgeous and smart and unattainable as Charlotte would go for him. 

That’s really the conceit of Long Shot. Sure, there are more than a few political jokes, the film has a particularly left wing view, but the central gag that the film’s plot turns on is convincing us that a goofball like Fred Flarsky could be someone who a Charlotte Field could fall in love with. This is a romantic comedy so these aren’t spoilers. The journey of Long Shot is in how you get there and not where the movie is going. 

The ending is especially hard to swallow but, once again, the winning combination of Rogen and Theron makes it work. I accepted that what happens is possible because these two terrific superstars convinced me that under these remarkably heightened and outrageous circumstances, this story is plausible. The incredible chemistry and the really big laughs of Long Shot easily defeated my skepticism about the plot and the R-rated convolutions needed to make it work. 

Long Shot was directed by Jonathan Levine whose unique career includes the Amy Schumer Goldie Hawn flop Snatched, the underwhelming zombie romance Warm Bodies, and the brilliant comic drama 50/50. That last one, 50/50 gave Seth Rogen a really terrific comic dramatic performance opposite an equally brilliant Joseph Gordon Levitt. Levine indeed tries hard to bring some genuine dramatic beats to his comedies with rather mixed results. 

The dramatic beats of 50/50 work solely because of the brilliant and sharp cast. The few dramatic beats of Long Shot also work because of a brilliant cast that make you forget that there is genuine drama taking place. Long Shot is a great deal more broad and jockey than 50/50 but each film shows a director who knows how to trust his actors to deliver a mix of the real and the broadly comic. Levine is blessed to have the Oscar winning Theron who has proven she can convince audiences of just about anything. 

Long Shot is mostly delightful, even when it is remarkably raunchy and R-Rated. Be prepared, this movie is not for the easily offended. Long Shot goes for some big bawdy, R-Rated laughs regarding sex and drugs and you definitely need to leave the kids at home for this one. The film’s biggest flaw however, is not raunchy humor, it’s length. At more than 2 hours and 15 minutes, the film struggles at times to maintain pace and drags in a few spots. 

Oh, I was wrapping up there, but I cannot end this review without praising O’Shea Jackson. Ice Cube’s son is a brilliant scene stealer. This man is a star in the making. Lance is a wonderful character who is full of life and unexpected comic invention. Even when he is given a questionable bit of forced back story late in the movie, Jackson makes it work and is very funny while doing it. I adore this performance, one of my favorites of the year thus far. 

Movie Review North Country

North Country (2005) 

Directed by Niki Caro 

Written by Michael Seitzman

Starring Charlize Theron, Woody Harrelson, Frances McDormand, Sean Bean, Richard Jenkins

Release Date October 21st, 2005 

Published October 19th, 2005 

Director Niki Caro made a huge splash with her debut film Whale Rider. That sweet, smart coming of age flick not only brought an Oscar nomination to the amazing young actress Keisha Castle Hughes, it also established Caro as a director who could write her own ticket for whatever project she wanted to make. Her choice was to work with another Oscar nominated actress, Charlize Theron, on what is, by virtue of both of their involvement, a serious prestige picture about a difficult and dramatic subject, the very first sexual harrassment class action suit in US history.

With the weight of expectations on North Country Niki Caro had a lot to live up to. That the film nearly meets those lofty expectations is a sign of her talent and the strength of the story she wished to tell.

Charlize Theron stars in North Country as Josie Aimes, a single mother returning to her tiny hometown in Minnesota after escaping her abusive husband. To say that her homecoming is not exactly welcome is a slight understatement. Though Josie's parents, Hank (Richard Jenkins) and Alice (Sissy Spacek), love her deeply, her life choices up until now have been a grave disappointment. Pregnant at sixteen, Josie claimed to not know who the child's father was. Running away with the baby soon after, Josie found herself in a series of bad relationships, and pregnant again.

Now back home and fighting with her father over having left her marriage (despite the husband's abuse, her father cannot abide a divorce and even wonders if she brought the abuse on herself) Josie needs a job and a new place to live. An old friend, Glory, played by the wonderful Frances McDormand, puts Josie on to a job working in the mine that is the town's only source of stable employment. Unfortunately it's also where Josie's father works, yet another source of father-daughter tension.

If her father was the greatest of the resistance Josie faced working in the mines she would be lucky. Sadly, the male workers of the mine have made quite clear ever since women have been allowed to work there that they are not welcome. The sexual, emotional and occasionally physical intimidation of women is an everyday reality for Glory who has weathered it well enough to become a union leader. For Josie, however, the abuse is shocking and terrifying and likely compounded by some very dark secrets from her past.

Eventually all of the abuse and frustrating put-offs from management force Josie to take a bold step. With the help of a local lawyer, Bill White (Woody Harrelson), Josie aims to sue the mine and stop the abuse and if at all possible make the mine a safe place for the women who work there after her.

North Country is an exceptionally well-told story both in terms of scripting and filmmaking. Director Niki Caro showed her adeptness for compelling visual storytelling in Whale Rider and continues to mature in North Country. With Cinematographer Gustavo Santaolalla, Caro washes out the scenery to capture the often grim and gritty feel of the Minnesota winter. The visuals are so strong that the bitter cold of the north country chills the theater.

The script by Michael Seitzman, based on the book Class Action by Clara Bingham, creates a fictional character in Josie Aimes-- a composite of a number of different woman, including Lois Jenson, who was the first and most heroic plaintiff in this historic case. Especially compelling is the backstory that Seitzman and Niki Caro craft for Josie and the way that backstory informs the rest of the movie. Her experiences in the past are something that many women can sadly relate to, though to detail those experiences would reveal far too much I think.

The backstory is weaved into the movie's main story in a way that builds to an emotional flourish that lifts the film's otherwise weak courtroom scenes. If there is a flaw in North Country it is the by-the-numbers battle in the courtroom. Caro does as much as she can visually-- the court scenes are brightly lit but no less cold than the outdoor scenes-- but the scenes never rise above typical courtroom cliches. My opinion of this aspect of the film may be colored slightly by my opinion of the film's ending, which takes place in the courtroom and is a major letdown.

Of course Josie would not be the extraordinary character she is without the exemplary performance of Charlize Theron. At the head of an amazing cast that includes Oscar winners Sissy Spacek and Frances McDormand, as well as Woody Harrelson, Richard Jenkins and Sean Bean, Theron never let's you forget this is her movie. In North Country Charlize Theron essays a tough but vulnerable performance with depth and meaning. It's a performance worthy of such weighty subject matter as the very first and most difficult battle in the fight against sexual harassment.

The improvement of Charlize Theron as an actress in just the last three years is remarkable. Just four years ago seeing the name Charlize Theron on a movie poster was a stomach turning moment. Her shrill, unlikable, over-the-top performances in The Astronauts Wife, Devils Advocate and Sweet November are now a very distant memory. Monster changed everything and now North Country affirms that Charlize Theron is a true actress and a star, not just another pretty face.

North Country is the kind of heart rending cathartic drama people go to the movies to experience. A film that earns all of its emotional involvement and audience participation in the experience. North Country is also the rare modern movie that combines that emotional journey with a visual one that is its equal. Niki Caro and her team evoke not only the freezing cold of the north but the feel of a town caught in a time warp. The men are Neanderthals, the women are repressed and longing, and the whole thing is disturbing for people who lived through similar circumstances and people, like myself, who cannot fully relate to the struggles women have faced in the workplace.

North Country is an education, a history lesson about how far woman have come in establishing themselves in the workplace. It's a lesson that needs to be taught and retaught because as the old adage goes; those who forget history are doomed to repeat it. Our current laws on sexual harassment may at times seem ridiculous or overblown but they stem from a place of necessity because the type of abuse demonstrated in North Country should never be allowed to take place.

For Oscar watchers like myself North Country is a must see. Niki Caro's direction, Michael Seitzman's script, Gustavo Santaolalla's photography and the supporting performances of Frances McDormand and Richard Jenkins are all worthy of nominations. However, it is the performance of Charlize Theron that will have Oscar fans buzzing all the way to the big night. Theron has a very good chance of becoming the seventh actress in academy history to win two lead actress Oscars.

Had the ending of North Country been a little stronger I think a best picture nomination would be assured for North Country. Still, despite my minor misgivings, this is one terrific drama. A moving crowd pleaser with an important message and filled to overflowing with terrific performances. North Country is a must see for the new season.

Movie Review Texas Chainsaw Massacre (Remake)

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

Directed by Marcus Nispel 

Written by Scott Kosar 

Starring Jennifer Biel, Jonathan Tucker, Mike Vogel, Eric Balfour, R. Lee Ermey

Release Date October 17th, 2003 

Published October 15th, 2003 

When I heard they were remaking Texas Chainsaw Massacre, my first thought was, why? It's already been remade a number of times under a number of different titles. Take House of 1000 Corpses, clearly a complete rip-off of Chainsaw, save for the actual use of a chainsaw. How about the backwoods hicks of Wrong Turn, clearly modeled after Leatherface and his lunatic family? Its low budget look and guerilla shooting style have influenced nearly every horror film released in its wake.

Of course, the number of bad sequels that have provided variations on the original characters are in themselves merely re-imaginings of the first film. A remake would have to first justify itself with a reason to do it. The new Texas Chainsaw Massacre fails that test, never once providing a reason why it needs to exist.

It's the same setup as the 1974 original, a group of comely teenagers trekking their way through backwoods Texas on their way to who knows where, there is a vague allusion to a concert in this new version. Jessica Biel of TV's 7th Heaven plays the re-imagined role originally played by Marylin Burns, renamed Erin for the remake. Her friends are Kemper (Eric Balfour), Pepper (Erica Leerhsen), Andy (Mike Vogel) and Morgan (Jonathan Tucker). 

The kids nearly rundown a teenage girl along the desolate highway, wandering too nowhere. They pick her up and she begins babbling about someone being dead and grave warnings about the direction they are driving. Before she can explain anything more, she meets an ugly end at her own hands, it's actually the film's most effectively gory visual. It's all downhill from there, however.

With the dead girl in the backseat, the traumatized teens stop off in Travis County to find help. What they find however is a sadistic, twisted sheriff (R. Lee Ermey) and his equally sadistic and twisted family, including the murderous chainsaw wielding Leatherface (Eric Bryarniarski) who eats teenagers for breakfast... and lunch and dinner as well.

It's been a while since I've seen Tobe Hooper's original Texas Chainsaw Massacre, but I can recall it being far more effective than Director Marcus Nispel's slight, slick re-imagining. There was a visceral quality to the original that is greatly lacking in this remake. It's a quality that Nispel tries to make up for by beating the audience senseless with a chase sequence that lasts what seems like hours. The stylized music video slickness is completely at odds with the original film.

The higher production values of the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre, I gather, are supposedly the justification for the remake. As if trying to answer the unasked question of "What might Tobe Hooper have done with a bigger budget for the original?” Who cares what he might have done, what he did with his miniscule budget is part of the film’s appeal? The low production value and Daniel Pearl's minimalist cinematography are part of horror legend. Pearl returns for the remake and does seem to revel in his newfound technical freedom. However, improving on the look of the original isn't anything anyone asked to see.

The young actors give a good account of themselves in their underwritten victim roles, especially Biel who may have found her niche as a scream queen on par with Jaime Lee Curtis. However, she needs to find herself an original franchise to make her mark in the genre. Somewhere there is a new horror franchise ready to change the genre and directors like Marcus Nispel could better spend their time discovering that new franchise rather than applying modern polish to horror classics like Texas Chainsaw Massacre.