Movie Review: Beauty Shop

Beauty Shop (2005) 

Directed by Billie Woodruff

Written by Kate Lanier

Starring Queen Latifah, Alicia Silverstone, Alfre Woodard, Mena Suvari, Kevin Bacon, Djimon Hounsou 

Release Date March 30th, 2005

Published March 30th, 2005 

Ever since her breakthrough role and Oscar nomination with 2002's Chicago, Queen Latifah has struggled to find material worthy of her talent.  Chicago has led to a string of awful movies like Cookout, Taxi, and Bringing Down The House, the latter being the only hit of the bunch and arguably the worst of them. None of these awful films, however, has dimmed the Queen's star presence. She is still a welcome presence onscreen even if her movies don't do her talent injustice.

The latest example of Queen Latifah's star presence, the Barbershop spinoff Beauty Shop, is yet another bad movie where Queen Latifah outshines bad material.

In Barbershop 2 Queen Latifah introduced the character of Gina, beauty shop owner who had the guts and talent to go toe to toe with Cedric The Entertainer's cantankerous old man, Eddy. In Beauty Shop Gina has packed up her talent and attitude and headed for Atlanta where she works at an upscale salon and hopes to soon open her own shop.

Her boss is your typically effeminate diva stylist, Jorge Christophe (a nearly unrecognizable Kevin Bacon with a faux Euro-trash accent). Jorge constantly dumps his work off on Gina who earns the trust and loyalty of his clients because of her talent. However when Jorge criticizes Gina in front of the entire salon, saying that he "owns her ass", Gina quits.

With the help of family, friends and an especially easy to please bank loan officer, Gina buys a run down beauty shop in a questionable part of town. The shop comes equipped with a noisy neighbor/potential love interest (Djimon Hounsou), bad electricity and a staff of oddball stylists not used to Gina's more upscale tastes. Among her new employees are the former owner, the Maya Angelou quoting Miss Josephine (Alfre Woodard, looking uncomfortable in this rare comedic role), Chanel (Golden Brooks) the requisite attitude problem or more precisely the bitch, and Ida (Sherry Shepherd) the dim witted one.

Thankfully also coming along with Gina from Jorge's is a talented stylist named Lynn (Alicia Silverstone, stymied with a bad southern accent), the one white girl in an all black shop. Lynn naturally is at the center of much of the film's uncomfortable racial humor.  On the bright side for Gina, some of the upscale clients from Jorge's have followed her, including the sweet natured Terri (Andie McDowell) and the bitchy Joanne (Mena Suvari).

The film's plot centers on finances as the shop, as it was in the Barbershop movies, is constantly in dire financial straits. Everything is falling apart, the electricity is bad and a nasty building inspector seems to have it out for Gina. That said, though, the plot is very much secondary to the interaction of this over-the-top group of characters and is not the film's strong point.

The one thing the film has going for it is the star presence and charisma of Queen Latifah whose common sense straight man never really gels with the caricatures that surround her. That is certainly not Latifah's fault.  She seems dead on throughout, especially in her romance with Djimon Hounsou's character, Joe. Though Hounsou never seems comfortable with the comedic part of his role, he does know how to handle the quiet romantic scenes and had they been given the chance these two actors could have done something very interesting.

Unfortunately there are too many other things going on in Beauty Shop for Queen Latifah and Djimon Hounsou to really connect. Music video Director Bille Woodruff (Honey with Jessica Alba) is too caught up with his quirky characters to give Latifah the attention she deserves. Queen Latifah is radiant and funny and a director with more imagination than Mr. Woodruff might have forgotten about trying to make Barbershop 3 and focused the film on Gina and her romance with Joe.

I really cannot say enough nice things about Queen Latifah, it's a shame that the producers of Beauty Shop did not like her as much as me. If they did, they might have forgotten about cloning the Barbershop movies around her and instead allowed the story to focus more on romantic comedy and less on rehashed characters and jokes. Queen Latifah deserves better and we in the audience especially deserve better.

Movie Review Because I Said So

Because I Said So (2007) 

Directed by Michael Lehmann 

Written by Jessie Nelson

Starring Diane Keaton, Mandy Moore, Gabriel Macht, Tom Everett Scott, Lauren Graham, Piper Perabo

Release Date December 2nd, 2006 

Published December 2nd, 2006 

In my nearly seven years writing film criticism I have seen some awful movies. Rarely however, have I seen something as brutal as the new romantic comedy Because I Said So starring Diane Keaton. It's not that the film is as badly made as say, Deuce Bigelow, or as poorly acted as the indie feature Undiscovered. No, what makes Because I Said So so notably awful is the cast.

How does a movie starring the legendary Diane Keaton, the lovable Mandy Moore and the reliable Lauren Graham, end up this brutally awful? That is a notable achievement, taking three beloved actors and forcing them into a movie so insufferable that even their innate appeal is dimmed by how terrible this movie is. That director Michael Lehmann once directed Heathers, a legit cult classic, makes this epic misfire so much more of a mystery. Then again, Lehmann also directed Hudson Hawk. Hmm.

In Because I Said So Diane Keaton plays Daphne, a mother of three beautiful daughters who, on the verge of turning 60, has just one wish. Daphne wants to find a man for her youngest daughter, Millie (Mandy Moore). To this end, Daphne commits herself to the task of finding Millie's ideal man by creating an online dating ad for her and then interviewing potential candidates herself. The search leads to a nice guy architect named Josh (Tom Everett Scott) who mom absolutely loves. Also in the running is a nice guy guitar player named Johnny (Gabriel Macht) who mom doesn't so much like but is Millie's perfect type.

If you need a road map to figure which guy Millie ends up with you have either never seen a movie before or have lived your entire life in a cave; cut off from logic. Because I Said So is not merely predictable, predictability I could forgive. No, Because I Said So is such a trainwreck of romantic comedy cliches and artificial roadblocks that it becomes unbearable to watch this cast enact such sub-sitcom levels of convoluted comic idiocy. 

Diane Keaton is a legend. She has won the Oscar for best actress. She has even made a few very bad movies, First Wives Club, Hanging Up, to name a few. But, she has never been this awful in a movie. Her performance in Because I Said So is an epic disaster of over the top gesticulations, shrill dialogue delivery and logic free character development. As a director herself, it's a wonder how Keaton did not see this character going so badly. Or maybe she did. There is a good ten minute sequence in the film in which Keaton doesn't say a word. I can't prove this, but I like to think this was Keaton's silent protest of the movie. I can hope, can't I?

Because I Said So doesn't just slime the great Ms. Keaton, it nearly destroys the career of Mandy Moore. The former pop star had come a very long way in her acting career since her ugly debut in the weepy teen romance A Walk To Remember. She was terrific in a bitchy supporting role in Saved, charming in a bitchy role in American Dreamz, and utterly darling in her cameo on TV's Scrubs. Sadly and unfortunately in Because I Said So, Moore looks like a novice actress, tripping over punchlines and allowing the movie to make her look like a fool in nearly every scene. 

Moore should find some way to sue director Michael Lehmann for allowing her to appear so utterly befuddled onscreen. This is a career low-point that would be difficult to recover from for the veteran Diane Keaton. For Ms. Moore, she may have to look to a TV career before considering film again. Lauren Graham of TV's Gilmore Girls and Piper Perabo of Coyote Ugly round out what is, on paper, a stellar cast. How you make a movie this awful with this cast is truly astonishing. Both Graham and Perabo are thanking their lucky stars that their roles barely rise above cameos.

How bad is Because I Said So? Here is just a hint of what this movie believes is funny. Two scenes of Diane Keaton watching internet porn. Two scenes of Ms. Keaton, legs in the air screaming to the heavens, a dog humping furniture. Some of the most stilted and awkward sex talk in the history of film. Not one, but two all family sing alongs. And, because the family runs a catering business, 3 scenes of people covered in cake.

Now, I can hear skeptics out there reading along and thinking 'of course he doesn't like this movie, it's a chick flick'. Allow me to explain how this works. I loved The Holiday, I loved Love Actually and I gave a glowing recommendation to the movie The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. This is not about genre, or target audience. This is about Because I Said So being one of the worst movies I have ever seen.

In the words of the great Roger Ebert, from the title of one of his great books, I hated, hated, hated, hated, hated this movie. Because I Said So is a painfully awful, nightmare of a movie that poor Diane Keaton may never recover from. She is lucky that she was once in Annie Hall and won a very deserved Academy award for Best Actress because otherwise it would be very easy to write her off after a disaster like this.

As it stands, I'm sure Diane Keaton will be back. Let's just hope she fires her agent before he allows her to make another movie remotely as awful as Because I Said So.

Movie Review: Road to Perdition

Road to Perdition (2002) 

Directed by Sam Mendes 

Written by David Self 

Starring Tom Hanks, Paul Newman, Tyler Hoechlin, Jude Law, Daniel Craig

Release Date July 12th, 2002 

Published July 11th, 2002 

Tom Hanks is the ultimate affable good guy, in many ways he's the essence of the everyman. The party animal from Bachelor Party, the doofus cross dresser from Bosom Buddies, and the ultimate noble good guy, Forrest Gump. It is this reputation that made Road To Perdition so special. In Perdition, Hanks portrays a cold hearted mob assassin seeking revenge. It is a stretch, because he's Tom Hanks but a man with two Oscars under his belt never lacks for confidence.

In Road To Perdition, Hank's is Michael Sullivan, a hitman for the Rock Island branch of Al Capone's Chicago Mob. Paul Newman is John Rooney, Sullivan's boss, a man who is like a father to Michael. That dynamic changes dramatically  when a 'business' meeting goes bad. Rooney's actual son, played by Daniel Craig, kills a mob associate unexpectedly and the hit is witnessed by Michael's son, Michael Jr, played by Tyler Hoechlin. Unwilling to let his son be caught by either the cops or the mob, John Rooney turns on Michael and decides to have Michael and Michael Jr killed. 

Also on the Sullivan's’ trail is a hitman named Harlan "the Reporter" Maguire (Jude Law). Maguire is called The Reporter because after he kills someone he photographs the body and sells the picture to the newspapers. It's a great gimmick, a well fleshed out bit of detail that Jude Law clearly relishes. Law is wildly charismatic and you can sense how much he enjoyed playing this character in Road to Perdition. It's a delicious supporting role, superbly played. 

Road To Perdition has a strong narrative, hard boiled dialogue, and, of course, the acting is first rate. Especially good is the legendary Paul Newman as the pragmatic mob boss forced to choose between his son and his adopted son. Newman gives two flawless monologues that should net him an Academy Award nomination, if not a win. Hanks made his Oscar reservations the day he signed onto the picture. Hanks never trades on his persona. For Hanks, Michael Sullivan is a challengingly different role and he makes it look easy. With any icy stare and everyman look he transforms into a surprisingly menacing version of himself.

Director Sam Mendes, who won the Academy Award for his first picture American Beauty, beats the sophomore jinx with an amazing depiction of real life violence and it's consequence. It's about the bonds of family and especially fatherhood. As Newman's character explains "Sons were put on this earth to trouble their fathers". Of course Conrad L. Hall does yet another spectacular job. His cinematography is damn near flawless, especially at the film’s moving climax.

If I had any problem with the film it was the feeling of inevitability. Every action by every character seems as if it were written in stone long before it happened. This inevitability makes the film a little predictable. Also, the films ending, while very moving, lacks the catharsis the audience desperately needs. Still, you can go ahead and pencil in Road To Perdition on your fantasy Oscar ballot.


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