Movie Review Lemony Snicket's As Series of Unfortunate Events

Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events (2004) 

Directed by Brad Silberling 

Written by Robert Gordon 

Starring Jim Carrey, Jude Law, Liam Aiken, Emily Browning, Timothy Spall, Catherine O'Hara, Meryl Streep

Release Date December 17th, 2004 

I am unfamiliar with the books of the Lemony Snicket series written by Daniel Handler. I can however appreciate the wit and nerve it must take to write on the book jacket that your story is very dark and depressing and recommend that readers find something more pleasant to read. Like any one of a curious nature, when someone tells me not to do something I’m even more intrigued to try it.

It is with that same sense that I went into the film version of Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events, which used a similar campaign as the book to entice people into theaters. Simply tell people not to come, and why, and they will come in droves. Unfortunately those appealingly off-putting ads are more prescient than expected. Lemony Snicket is, as they tell you, dark and disturbing and maybe you should take the advice and find another movie.

This is the story of the Beaudelaire children, or rather the Beaudelaire orphans after their parents perish in a fire. Violet (Emily Browning) is the oldest, an inventor with a keen sense of danger. Her younger brother is Klaus (Liam Aiken), an inquisitive child who reads voraciously and retains every piece of information. And finally, their younger sister two year old Sunny (Kara & Shelby Hoffman) who’s preternaturally smart, she has her own language, and loves to bite things. Anything at all.

After being informed of their parents death the children are taken by their court appointed lawyer Mr. Poe to their closest living relative Count Olaf. By closest living relative, Mr. Poe means that he lives only four blocks away which is a hint of the cluelessness to come. Count Olaf (Jim Carrey) is a failed actor living in a rundown mansion that is the sort of place your dared to visit on Halloween.

Violet, ever the inquisitor, immediately senses that Olaf is not taking the children in out of the kindness of his heart. Indeed he even tells them that he has his eye on the fortune they are to inherit. As soon as Olaf takes on legal custody of the children he plans to murder them and run off with the inheritance money.

The story is narrated by the shadowed visage of Lemony Snicket (Jude Law). Glimpsed only in silhouette, Lemony Snicket tells this tale with wit and misdirection. As he says, and the title well states, this is a story of a series of unfortunate events that befall these plucky kids. They must outwit the murderous count and weather a series of wacky parental stand ins that include Billy Connelly and Meryl Streep.

This is not a bad story but as it is presented by Director Brad Silberling it’s disturbing and highly off putting. This is supposed to be a family movie yet we see murders, blatant child abuse, and a Jim Carrey performance that hits more wrong notes than The Cable Guy.



Just because your narrator states in the opening scenes that your movie is unpleasant and recommends that you go see another film while still can does not give you an excuse to make a film as unpleasant and disturbing as this movie is. Maybe a familiarity with the book somehow makes the themes of murder and abuse palatable but as presented here they make me question how a major children’s entertainment company like Nickelodeon Pictures became involved with it.

As in movies like this the children are geniuses the adults are all clueless dolts. Even the great Meryl Streep can’t escape this hackneyed trope, she plays a shrill agoraphobic who inherits the children and must protect them from Olaf. Sadly, and, of course, she’s so clueless that when Olaf arrives in a terrible costume she falls for him. Other clueless adults include Cedric The Entertainer as a clueless cop and Catherine O’Hara as a clueless Judge.

What is good about the film is the set design and cinematography that evokes the best work of Tim Burton and the silent era gothic films. Emmanuel Lubezki handles the Cinematography and delivers Oscar quality visuals. Set Designer Rick Heinrichs is also award worthy especially for his work on Streep’s lake adjacent home on the side of a cliff.

Director Brad Silberling crafts the work of his cinematographer and set designer quite well but could have done a better job reigning in his clowning preening star who does not steal scenes as much as he invades them with a sickening presence. Carrey’s attempts at improv humor are a counter point to his character's malevolent nature and just do not work. I find that a murderer, especially one in a KIDS movie, had better be darn funny to make me laugh otherwise it’s just creepy and out of place.

The only funny moments in the movie go to the baby who speaks in gibberish but has cute funny subtitles. The rest of the film is like an attempt to glom on to the Harry Potter formula but without the magic and without the intelligent appealing and benevolent characters.

For fans of the books, maybe you can find something to like. For fans of technical filmmaking absolutely. But for general family audiences where this film is targeted I suggest you take the films advice and see what’s playing in theater 2.

Movie Review Flight of the Phoenix

Flight of the Phoenix (2004) 

Directed by John Moore 

Written by Scott Frank, Edward Burns 

Starring Dennis Quaid, Giovanni Ribisi, Tyrese, Miranda Otto, Hugh Laurie 

Release Date December 17th, 2004 

I must admit that I was rather intrigued by the ad campaign for Flight of The Phoenix. First Fox boldly bumped the film up into the competitive holiday market and then they launched a saturation ad campaign that made the film seem like a major release. Finally it promised a twist ending, something that really caught my attention because of the seemingly perfunctory plot, just what possible twist could they give something so seemingly conventional. My curiosity was not rewarded.

Fly boy Frank Townes (Dennis Quaid) has a reputation that flies with him wherever he goes. With his Co-Pilot A.J (Tyrese Gibson), Frank is known as ‘Shut’em down Townes’. When he shows up at an oil rig work site in the middle of the Gobi Desert in Mongolia the leader of the crew, Kelly played by Miranda Otto, knows he is there to deliver pink slips and shut’em down.
 
Kelly’s United Nations crew, black guy, Mexican guy, Irish guy, are your typical modern day disaster movie crew (If you were on a plane with this group you would know something bad was gonna happen). They bicker and drink and fight and fiercely defend one another to the officious British executive (Hugh Laurie) who just happened to be visiting when Frank arrived.

All of these people and their far more valuable equipment are herded onto Frank’s cargo plane when one last straggler arrives. Elliott (Giovanni Ribisi) is a weirdo who just showed up one day in the middle of the desert and is now being evacuated with the crew. What do you bet that this nerdy, blonde dyed, little man will have an important role to play later on.

Frank is desperate to dump his cargo and the valuable equipment, so desperate that he tries to fly over a sandstorm and ends up crashing his plane. Two of the nameless crewmembers die and like that extra crew member that beams down to the alien planet with Kirk, Spock and Bones the remaining oil riggers line up for their dead guy red jerseys.

Trapped in the desert with maybe a months worth of food and water the crew must figure a way to survive and nerdy Elliott has an idea. Take what is left of the old plane and use it to build a new one. Because the plot requires it, Frank is against the idea until a pair of inspiring speeches, one by Kelly and one by a placeholder character, the guy who just wants to get home to his wife and kid. Since he is showing off his picture of his wife and kids you might spend a large portion of the film waiting for him to be killed as cliché demands, I will leave the mystery.




If your name is not Dennis Quaid or Giovanni Ribisi and your not playing the love interest or best friend your chances of surviving either the elements or the stock terrorists who show up to try and ratchet up the suspense are slim. 

After 2001’s “Behind Enemy Lines” Director John Moore looks like the perfect Director for Flight Of The Phoenix. Both films are simply scripts transferred to film with as little else getting in the way as possible. Moore is a technician, a conduit through which a marketing campaign is launched. His rare moments of inspiration beyond the script, like the awful film score and Giovanni Ribisi’s alien performance, are the films biggest disasters.

For his part Dennis Quaid is… Dennis Quaid. He is a pro even when saddled with a script that casts him in both an action movie and something that resembles a fifties screwball romance. Quaid and Miranda Otto will of course fall in love because the first scene they share they argue and they pretend to hate each other. It does not take a rocket scientist to see where this is going.

Movie Review Bad Behaviour

Bad Behaviour (2024) 

Directed by Alice Englert

Written by Alice Englert 

Starring Jennifer Connelly, Alice Englert, Ben Whishaw 

Release Date June 14th, 2024 

Published June 7th, 2024 

Bad Behaviour stars Jennifer Connelly as Lucy, a former child star struggling with anger and abandonment issues. As we meet Lucy, she's driving and listening to a recording of a guru in an attempt to get over her anger issues. As she's driving and listening, she's also experiencing road rage and lashing out. The irony is intentional. During the drive, she calls her daughter, Dylan (Alice Englert) who is in New Zealand where she works as a stunt actor. Mother and daughter's fraught relationship can be picked up immediately but the fact that the call drops mid-conversation and neither tries to reconnect is a strong indication of the state of their relationship. 

Lucy's guru is Elon (Ben Whishaw) a man who claims to have found enlightenment and is prepared to teach that enlightenment to others. Four the next three days, Lucy will navigate through a period of imposed silence, no wi-fi, and a series of workshops aimed at getting in touch with various traumas and anxieties that lead to issues of anger and prevent people from reaching an enlightened state. One of Elon's biggest catchphrases is 'Never Give in to Hope.' If that sounds like a bizarre catchphrase, you're right, it is. But, the movie does attempt to explain this angry non-sequitur. Instead of hoping to get better, Elon suggests you simply be what you hope, thus making hope unnecessary. 

Writer-Director Alice Englert's approach to the touchy-feely world of self-help gurus and enlightenment experts is to take them seriously. It would be very easy to turn the guru and the people attending his retreat as a joke. Englert instead, engages with the self-help stuff and leaves it entirely up to you if you want to make fun of it. As for Lucy, she wants the retreat to work. She wants to be better but everything in her mind prevents her from giving in and giving herself over to the experience of the retreat. Lucy's fears and anxieties about aging then get a kick in the pants when a young model, Beverly (Dasha Nekrasova) arrives late to the retreat and becomes the star of the event, it's most outstanding student. 

 Read my full length review in the Geeks Community on Vocal 



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