Movie Review: The Punisher

The Punisher (2004) 

Directed by Jonathan Hensleigh 

Written by Jonathan Hensleigh 

Starring Thomas Jane, John Travolta, Rebecca Romijn 

Release Date: April 16th, 2004 

Published April 15th, 2004 

Previous to Avi Arad’s days as CEO, Marvel Comics made a number of bad deals involving the film rights to its comics. The Fantastic Four was sold to Roger Corman's production company (yes that Roger Corman). Do we want to remember those awful Captain America and Spiderman TV movies? Ugh. And who can forget 1989's The Punisher with Dolph Lundgren? Well most people have forgotten that, thankfully. Now The Punisher has a new life on film and the best that can be said is that it's better than the Dolph Lundgren version.

Thomas Jane is the new Frank Castle, a special forces trained FBI Agent who has just wrapped up his final case with his own faked death. Unfortunately, in a case where he hoped no one would be killed, a mobster’s son was taken down. The mobster, Howard Saint (John Travolta) is of course none too pleased with this and sets out to find the man responsible. With little effort he finds Castle is not really dead and sets out to kill him, and at his wife Livia's (Laura Elena Herring) suggestion, kill Castle's entire family as well.

Saint sends his top thug Quentin Glass (Will Patton) and a large goon squad to Puerto Rico where the entire Castle clan, cousins, and uncles, and grandparents, and so on and so on, all just happen to be gathered. The gang kills the entire family then chases down Frank's fleeing wife and child and brutally run them down. Then it's Frank's turn as he arrives just in time to see his wife and child die and then get the living crap kicked out of himself by the bad guys. In typical bad guy fashion, rather than just shooting Frank in the head the baddies plot an elaborate torture that Frank manages to escape. Well if they did the smart thing there would be no movie.

Castle does survive and soon is back in Tampa ready to make Howard Saint pay for killing his family. Along the way Frank hooks up with three oddballs who share a rundown tenement apartment building with him. They are Joan (Rebecca Romijn) a waitress with a taste for the wrong kind of man, Bumpo (comedian John Pinette) an effeminate overweight chef and Spacker Dave an overly pierced slacker. They try to draw Frank into their circle but other than protecting them from evil, Frank has little interest in them.

Frank's sole focus is an overly elaborate revenge on Howard Saint. If it weren't overly elaborate, again there would be no movie, but this is quite unnecessarily melodramatic and prolonged. The revenge involves Saint, his wife and Quentin Glass, a simple misunderstanding, and a fake fire hydrant. Where does one even acquire a fake fire hydrant? I'm not sure but it seems quite handy, unless there were an actual fire. It's all very melodramatic until the final 10 minutes when it devolves into a massive crunching bore of gunfire and the unnecessary use of way too much C4 explosive.

Director Jonathan Hensleigh obviously learned a lot from scripting Armageddon and producing Con Air for Jerry Bruckheimer. He learned how to use massive explosions to grand excess. He learned that you can never under-use gunfire and that a movie doesn't have to make sense as long as you kill, maim or explode someone every other scene. Not that this approach doesn't have it's moments but as every Bruckheimer movie shows, the formula grows tired quickly and so it does become quickly tiresome in The Punisher.

To the credit of Thomas Jane, The Punisher's belligerence is seemingly not his fault. Jane's performance is perfectly calibrated to the films dark, humorless tone. Jane's Punisher is brooding, tough, and without a trace of wit. Which seems to be exactly what the movie was going for if you watch all that surrounds his performance. Jane sells the character all the way even as he is forced to become less and less human and more of a horror film cartoon. Rambo crossed with Jason Vorhees.

John Travolta is wearing his Swordfish toupee which means he is in sneering bad guy autopilot. Nothing new for Travolta who grows more and more bored with each subsequent role these days. Hopefully his return to playing Chilli Palmer in Be Cool will revive his love of acting. In The Punisher Travolta gives up about half way through and figuratively rolls his eyes through the final 45 minutes of the film.

As bad as this movie truly is I must admit that I enjoyed some of it's over the top violence. The films major, one on one, fight scene between Tom Jane and pro wrestler Kevin Nash, the seven footer simply called The Russian in the film, brings the film’s only light moments as Jane marvels at the size of his opponent and his own numerous failed attempts to hurt the big man. It's kinda fun but it's been done, Stallone made beating up the bigger man a staple of his act back in the mid-eighties.

The film’s final violent set piece looks like an attempt to burn whatever remained of the film’s budget. I swear, it's as if they were told they had to spend a certain amount and nothing less so they just blew up whatever remaining cash they had in an orgy of explosions and gunfire.

At two hours and ten minutes, The Punisher is punishing on the audience. Repetitiously violent in between it's overly imaginative and melodramatic plots, The Punisher would be a candidate for worst of the year if Thomas Jane weren't such a pro at selling this big. dumb, loud plot. It's better than the Dolph Lundgren version of The Punisher, but staring at a blank screen for ninety minutes would be more entertaining than that picture. I would hope that the producers were aiming for more than bettering that film. Sadly that turns out to be the film’s only accomplishment.

Movie Review: The Proposition

The Proposition (2005) 

Directed by John Hilllcoat 

Written by Nick Cave 

Starring Guy Pearce, Richard Wilson, Ray Winstone, and Danny Huston 

Released March 10th, 2006 

Published March 8th 2006

A house is riddled with bullets. Inside, a group of supposed outlaws fights for their lives. Most of the homes inhabitants are killed save for two. These two are members of the famed Burns Gang, middle Burns brother Charlie (Guy Pearce), and youngest brother, Mikey (Richard Wilson). Captured by the Captain (Ray Winstone), the brothers are given death sentences but with a caveat.

Mikey will be taken into custody with a noose waiting for him on Christmas day. Charlie can save Mikey's life if he travels to a remote part of the Australian outback, where even aborigines fear to tread, and track down his older brother Arthur (Danny Huston). Arthur is wanted for the brutal rape and murder of a close friend of the Captain's wife (Emily Watson). The proposition that the Captain offers is a dangerous gamble, a mob waits back in the small Aussie village where the captain presides. If they find out the Captain had captured Charlie and released him, no reason will be a good enough explanation.

That is the plot outline of The Proposition, a brutally violent morality play set in early 20th century Australia; a place with more than a passing resemblance to the old west of American legend. The Proposition shares more than a passing resemblance to the western legends of John Ford and the Italian westerns of Sergio Leone, only darker and more violent. The Proposition is graphically violent with a purpose. 

Directed by Aussie video director John Hillcoat, best known for the early videos of INXS, from a script by rocker Nick Cave, who also composed the films eerie, old west soundtrack, The Proposition is stylish and often breathtakingly so. With the help of cinematographer Benoit Delhomme, director Hillcoat crafts gorgeous images of the outback juxtaposed against ghastly violence and gore.

Danny Huston has never had such a meaty role. Often left with mustache twirling villains or officious corporate worms, Huston defies his type casting with this twisted but oddly soulful killer. At one moment musing poetry and another twisting a knife into a man's chest, it is Huston's wild far away eyes that communicate his malevolent character. Much of the violence that Arthur Burns performs, his most sadistic actions, happen off-screen, out of our view. His true, vile, criminality is left to our imagination which allows it to become as twisted as we make it.

Guy Pearce creates Charlie Burns from his bones. Slimming his already skinny frame down to the pulpy, knotted muscle, Pearce is a feral animal with cold dead eyes who has somehow retained a shred of humanity that his older brother has not. His moral dilemma over the proposition is really a coming to grips with his own crimes. His puzzlement over killing his brother comes from the question of whether the murder will be enough to save his own tortured soul.

Ray Winstone rounds out the three leads with a performance that early on feels very one note. Winstone is introduced as corrupt cop who is torturing Charlie and Mikey into doing his bidding. However, as the story progresses, the Captain becomes the films moral compass and Winstone deepens the role with grace and sadness. 

The Proposition is not for everyone. It is not classically entertaining like the kind of film you catch on late night cable and can watch repeatedly. For true film buffs and fans of hardcore westerns, The Proposition is the kind of movie you go to the movies to see. For the average moviegoer, I would say find something else to rent on Saturday night. For those who appreciate film technique, a director in complete control of tone and pace and violence that has the purpose of leaving a mark in your imagination, The Proposition is the movie for you. 

Movie Review: The Proposal

The Proposal (2009)

Directed by Anne Fletcher 

Written by Peter Chiarrelli 

Starring Ryan Reynolds, Sandra Bullock, Betty White, 

Release Date June 19th, 2009 

Date Published June 18th, 2009

It's the definition of a hackneyed premise. An immigrant desperate to stay in the country enters into a sham marriage in order to pull a fast one on the government. Good movies, bad movies and trite sitcoms have bounced this premise around for years. Thus, the new comedy The Proposal doesn't exactly excite those looking for some original laughs. Oh how I love to be surprised. Yes, the premise is hackneyed beyond belief, but with talented stars and a smart director, The Proposal turns this cliched premise into a wonderfully fresh and funny comic romance.

Sandra Bullock stars in The Proposal in the role that is traditionally given to a man in movies like this, a high powered New York executive. Bullock is Margaret a publishing magnate who is hated and feared by her subordinates. Ryan Reynolds is Andrew, Margaret's desperately put upon assistant anointed with the ugly tasks of being Margaret's everyday punching bag.

Margaret happens to be Canadian and in the country on a visa. She has put off renewing her visa so often that she has accidentally allowed it to expire and she is about to be deported. That is when she gets an idea, she will just tell her boss's and the American government that she is in love and is marrying Andrew. For his part, Andrew is desperate for a raise and a promotion and this is just the opportunity to get ahead at this company. 

If Andrew agrees to marry Margaret she gets to stay in the country and he gets what he wants, the chance to move up the corporate ladder. It's also quite motivating that if Margaret goes, Andrew is likely to get fired. In order to convince the government they are a real couple they agree to travel to Alaska for a weekend of meeting all of Andrew's relatives including his mother (Mary Steenburgen), father (Craig T. Nelson) and Gammy (Betty White).

If, from the above description, you cannot figure out that the hard hearted exec will be won over by the wacky Alaska clan, then you are just not trying. However, what's great is how she is won over and how well she fights it off... for a little while anyway. Director Anne Fletcher, who charmed her way through the equally formula charmer 27 Dresses last year, deftly works the typical into something unexpected and terrifically funny.

Take for instance Margaret's secret love of rap music or the clever use of the great Betty White not for awkward laughs but honest warm, unexpected belly laughs. A character like White's Gammy would, in a lesser movie, be used to score cheap points with inappropriate humor or oddly sexual asides. There are some iffy jokes sent Gammy's way and batted right back, but White is so winning that things never enter that uncanny valley of ungainly vulgarity.

White is a scene stealer but even she loses a couple scenes to one Oscar Nunez. Best known for his quiet, dignified gay man on TV's The Office, Nunez plays Ramone a ubiquitous presence in the lives of Andrew's family who takes an immediate liking to Margaret and delights in shocking her with his ability to be seemingly everywhere.

As for the leads, Bullock hasn't been this good since While You Were Sleeping yet the characters couldn't be more different. Where Sleeping's heroine was all cuddly insecurity, Margaret is a real ballbuster. Blustery and bossy with a steely manner concealing an honest slightly wounded soul, Bullock's Margaret is the rare romantic heroine whose inner life fuels her outward action.

The care taken to give life to Margaret beyond the plot and the obvious character type is what sets a movie like The Proposal apart from other formula romances that rely on the premise to invent the character. The same could be said of Reynolds' Andrew whose daddy issues and innate good nature fuel his actions toward Margaret and make believable the idea that he could in the course of a plot that unfolds in three days, fall for Margaret in ways that make us want them together.

Even with its trite premise The Proposal is fresh, funny and joyous. Sandra Bullock is the Sandra Bullock she was always supposed to be before bad choices like Miss Congeniality 2 and a couple ugly looking thrillers knocked her off of stardom's path. Ryan Reynolds is only a box office hit away from establishing his star presence. With last year's exceptional Definitely Maybe and now The Proposal his chops are unquestionable.

The Proposal may be the best romantic comedy of the year.

Movie Review: Beautiful Boy

Beautiful Boy (2018) 

Directed by Felix Van Groeningen

Written by Luke Davies, Felix Van Groeningen 

Starring Steve Carell, Timothee Chalamet, Maura Tierney, Amy Ryan 

Release Date October 12th, 2018 

Published October 9th, 2018 

Beautiful Boy stars Steve Carell as David Sheff, a very successful freelance reporter living in California. When we meet David he appears to be at a desperate moment. He is interviewing a doctor, played by Timothy Hutton, about addiction. The doctor assumes this is for an article but David informs him that this research is personal. David’s son, Nic (Timothee Chalamet), is addicted to Meth and David has turned to the only thing he can imagine to make sense of things, in-depth research of the kind he’s done as a reporter. 

Indeed, research is the one way in which David Sheff is able to deal with the futility of his son’s addiction. We watch as David takes this research to varying extremes from trying to talk with Nic, to interviewing a young addict over lunch, to interviewing the doctor. He even goes as far as trying methamphetamine himself to understand the appeal. He’s lucky that he didn’t begin his own addiction with that move. 

These interactions are all kinds of interesting but as presented in Beautiful Boy the observations of David, the outcome of his research, have an obtuse quality. We get a vague insight into David, he lives for research, and that’s pretty much the one insight about the character that isn’t vague or assumed. He’s sensitive and he’s compassionate toward his son, he’s loving, but these are qualities we assume of a well to do parent and we wait for the story to tell us something different and it never does. 

David is reminiscent of Donald Sutherland’s character from Ordinary People minus the straw man villain provided in that film by Mary Tyler Moore’s harridan mother-figure. Like Sutherland, Carell plays a saintly figure of suffering but without the Moore character to play off of, Carell doesn’t have many notes to play here. Carell is certainly not bad in this role which leaves me to wonder what anyone thought was particularly cinematic about what David goes through. What is David’s arc? Suffering some to not suffering as much? 

Nic’s arc is to go from child to addict to recovery. That’s not a bad arc but it is off-screen a lot in favor of David’s less engaging lack of an arc. What are we to take away from Nic’s journey? What is special about what Nic went through? His family is wealthy, are we supposed to take away that addiction can happen to anyone regardless of privilege? The film doesn’t appear to have any insight or perspective, nothing really drives the narrative other than drugs are bad, don’t do drugs. 

The main takeaway I had from the movie is that Timothee Chalamet is a very charismatic and intriguing actor who is underserved by a role that doesn’t have a strong narrative engine behind it. Everything is surface level in Beautiful Boy, starting with the beautiful sets and cinematography which are at odds with the agony of Nic’s addiction and the toll it is having on his family. I have joked in the past about characters in disease of the week dramas who have what I call ‘Pretty Cancer,’ that strange type of disease that allows you to remain movie star pretty despite being on deaths’ door. 

Nic appears to have a case of ‘Pretty Addiction.’ Despite the years of meth abuse and living on the streets, the story appears to take place over 5 or 6 years or maybe a decade, now that I think about it, the movie is vague on this point. Regardless of however long Nic’s addiction has gone on, he remains a beautiful young man. Drugs don’t appear to take a toll on him aside from making him rather skinny but Chalamet even makes lanky look handsome. 

There doesn’t appear to be a baseline reality to the story of Beautiful Boy despite the fact that it is based, loosely, on a true story. The film shies away from the uglier parts of Nic’s addiction. For instance, in his book, “Tweaked,” Nic is very open about his years of trading sexual favors with men for money to buy drugs. This doesn’t get mentioned once in the movie and Nic rarely looks worse for wear despite the drugs and what we can presume he did to get them. 

Why did Nic get into drugs in the first place? The film has a scene of father and son sharing a joint and Nic opens up a little about how smoking weed makes life easier to deal with. What was wrong with his life? We don’t really know and perhaps we don’t need to. Kids try drugs all the time, some get a quick high and move on and some take on an addiction that can’t be explained. Brain chemistry makes some people more or less susceptible to drug addiction. 

This is a very specific story about a specific kid who got into drugs, got addicted and stayed that way for a while. There is one thing that stands out that appears insightful and instructive. At one point, Nic talks about being ashamed of being on drugs and how drugs were the only way to stave off the shame. That’s a strong notion, a vivid insight into Nic’s mindset. Beautiful Boy could have used more thoughtful asides like that but the film is dramatically inert. 

Beautiful Boy isn’t notably bad. Timothee Chalamet is incredibly talented and that talent shines through the moribund story being told here. Steve Carell, Maura Tierney and Amy Ryan are quite good at earning our sympathy but the story they are in lacks a narrative engine. The story unfolds in fits and starts that cause the film to drag and feel pointless even as it clearly has one point, drugs are bad, don’t use drugs. 

I don’t want to completely warn you away from this movie as it is not terrible. Beautiful Boy just isn’t quite as good as it should be. The scenery is lovely but the story has no movement. Nic is moving toward not being an addict but the rest of the story sputters along hitting the same note, drugs are bad, don’t do drugs. This does not make for much compelling drama or insightful commentary.

See Beautiful Boy for the performance of Timothee Chalamet but keep your expectations for the movie low. This is not the Academy Award contender that some would like you to believe that it is. It’s a big budget Lifetime Movie of the week at best, with an Oscar-caliber performance from Chalamet that is undermined by the rest of the movie’s lack of ambition. 

Movie Review: Beauty Shop

Beauty Shop (2005) 

Directed by Billie Woodruff

Written by Kate Lanier

Starring Queen Latifah, Alicia Silverstone, Alfre Woodard, Mena Suvari, Kevin Bacon, Djimon Hounsou 

Release Date March 30th, 2005

Published March 30th, 2005 

Ever since her breakthrough role and Oscar nomination with 2002's Chicago, Queen Latifah has struggled to find material worthy of her talent.  Chicago has led to a string of awful movies like Cookout, Taxi, and Bringing Down The House, the latter being the only hit of the bunch and arguably the worst of them. None of these awful films, however, has dimmed the Queen's star presence. She is still a welcome presence onscreen even if her movies don't do her talent injustice.

The latest example of Queen Latifah's star presence, the Barbershop spinoff Beauty Shop, is yet another bad movie where Queen Latifah outshines bad material.

In Barbershop 2 Queen Latifah introduced the character of Gina, beauty shop owner who had the guts and talent to go toe to toe with Cedric The Entertainer's cantankerous old man, Eddy. In Beauty Shop Gina has packed up her talent and attitude and headed for Atlanta where she works at an upscale salon and hopes to soon open her own shop.

Her boss is your typically effeminate diva stylist, Jorge Christophe (a nearly unrecognizable Kevin Bacon with a faux Euro-trash accent). Jorge constantly dumps his work off on Gina who earns the trust and loyalty of his clients because of her talent. However when Jorge criticizes Gina in front of the entire salon, saying that he "owns her ass", Gina quits.

With the help of family, friends and an especially easy to please bank loan officer, Gina buys a run down beauty shop in a questionable part of town. The shop comes equipped with a noisy neighbor/potential love interest (Djimon Hounsou), bad electricity and a staff of oddball stylists not used to Gina's more upscale tastes. Among her new employees are the former owner, the Maya Angelou quoting Miss Josephine (Alfre Woodard, looking uncomfortable in this rare comedic role), Chanel (Golden Brooks) the requisite attitude problem or more precisely the bitch, and Ida (Sherry Shepherd) the dim witted one.

Thankfully also coming along with Gina from Jorge's is a talented stylist named Lynn (Alicia Silverstone, stymied with a bad southern accent), the one white girl in an all black shop. Lynn naturally is at the center of much of the film's uncomfortable racial humor.  On the bright side for Gina, some of the upscale clients from Jorge's have followed her, including the sweet natured Terri (Andie McDowell) and the bitchy Joanne (Mena Suvari).

The film's plot centers on finances as the shop, as it was in the Barbershop movies, is constantly in dire financial straits. Everything is falling apart, the electricity is bad and a nasty building inspector seems to have it out for Gina. That said, though, the plot is very much secondary to the interaction of this over-the-top group of characters and is not the film's strong point.

The one thing the film has going for it is the star presence and charisma of Queen Latifah whose common sense straight man never really gels with the caricatures that surround her. That is certainly not Latifah's fault.  She seems dead on throughout, especially in her romance with Djimon Hounsou's character, Joe. Though Hounsou never seems comfortable with the comedic part of his role, he does know how to handle the quiet romantic scenes and had they been given the chance these two actors could have done something very interesting.

Unfortunately there are too many other things going on in Beauty Shop for Queen Latifah and Djimon Hounsou to really connect. Music video Director Bille Woodruff (Honey with Jessica Alba) is too caught up with his quirky characters to give Latifah the attention she deserves. Queen Latifah is radiant and funny and a director with more imagination than Mr. Woodruff might have forgotten about trying to make Barbershop 3 and focused the film on Gina and her romance with Joe.

I really cannot say enough nice things about Queen Latifah, it's a shame that the producers of Beauty Shop did not like her as much as me. If they did, they might have forgotten about cloning the Barbershop movies around her and instead allowed the story to focus more on romantic comedy and less on rehashed characters and jokes. Queen Latifah deserves better and we in the audience especially deserve better.

Movie Review Because I Said So

Because I Said So (2007) 

Directed by Michael Lehmann 

Written by Jessie Nelson

Starring Diane Keaton, Mandy Moore, Gabriel Macht, Tom Everett Scott, Lauren Graham, Piper Perabo

Release Date December 2nd, 2006 

Published December 2nd, 2006 

In my nearly seven years writing film criticism I have seen some awful movies. Rarely however, have I seen something as brutal as the new romantic comedy Because I Said So starring Diane Keaton. It's not that the film is as badly made as say, Deuce Bigelow, or as poorly acted as the indie feature Undiscovered. No, what makes Because I Said So so notably awful is the cast.

How does a movie starring the legendary Diane Keaton, the lovable Mandy Moore and the reliable Lauren Graham, end up this brutally awful? That is a notable achievement, taking three beloved actors and forcing them into a movie so insufferable that even their innate appeal is dimmed by how terrible this movie is. That director Michael Lehmann once directed Heathers, a legit cult classic, makes this epic misfire so much more of a mystery. Then again, Lehmann also directed Hudson Hawk. Hmm.

In Because I Said So Diane Keaton plays Daphne, a mother of three beautiful daughters who, on the verge of turning 60, has just one wish. Daphne wants to find a man for her youngest daughter, Millie (Mandy Moore). To this end, Daphne commits herself to the task of finding Millie's ideal man by creating an online dating ad for her and then interviewing potential candidates herself. The search leads to a nice guy architect named Josh (Tom Everett Scott) who mom absolutely loves. Also in the running is a nice guy guitar player named Johnny (Gabriel Macht) who mom doesn't so much like but is Millie's perfect type.

If you need a road map to figure which guy Millie ends up with you have either never seen a movie before or have lived your entire life in a cave; cut off from logic. Because I Said So is not merely predictable, predictability I could forgive. No, Because I Said So is such a trainwreck of romantic comedy cliches and artificial roadblocks that it becomes unbearable to watch this cast enact such sub-sitcom levels of convoluted comic idiocy. 

Diane Keaton is a legend. She has won the Oscar for best actress. She has even made a few very bad movies, First Wives Club, Hanging Up, to name a few. But, she has never been this awful in a movie. Her performance in Because I Said So is an epic disaster of over the top gesticulations, shrill dialogue delivery and logic free character development. As a director herself, it's a wonder how Keaton did not see this character going so badly. Or maybe she did. There is a good ten minute sequence in the film in which Keaton doesn't say a word. I can't prove this, but I like to think this was Keaton's silent protest of the movie. I can hope, can't I?

Because I Said So doesn't just slime the great Ms. Keaton, it nearly destroys the career of Mandy Moore. The former pop star had come a very long way in her acting career since her ugly debut in the weepy teen romance A Walk To Remember. She was terrific in a bitchy supporting role in Saved, charming in a bitchy role in American Dreamz, and utterly darling in her cameo on TV's Scrubs. Sadly and unfortunately in Because I Said So, Moore looks like a novice actress, tripping over punchlines and allowing the movie to make her look like a fool in nearly every scene. 

Moore should find some way to sue director Michael Lehmann for allowing her to appear so utterly befuddled onscreen. This is a career low-point that would be difficult to recover from for the veteran Diane Keaton. For Ms. Moore, she may have to look to a TV career before considering film again. Lauren Graham of TV's Gilmore Girls and Piper Perabo of Coyote Ugly round out what is, on paper, a stellar cast. How you make a movie this awful with this cast is truly astonishing. Both Graham and Perabo are thanking their lucky stars that their roles barely rise above cameos.

How bad is Because I Said So? Here is just a hint of what this movie believes is funny. Two scenes of Diane Keaton watching internet porn. Two scenes of Ms. Keaton, legs in the air screaming to the heavens, a dog humping furniture. Some of the most stilted and awkward sex talk in the history of film. Not one, but two all family sing alongs. And, because the family runs a catering business, 3 scenes of people covered in cake.

Now, I can hear skeptics out there reading along and thinking 'of course he doesn't like this movie, it's a chick flick'. Allow me to explain how this works. I loved The Holiday, I loved Love Actually and I gave a glowing recommendation to the movie The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. This is not about genre, or target audience. This is about Because I Said So being one of the worst movies I have ever seen.

In the words of the great Roger Ebert, from the title of one of his great books, I hated, hated, hated, hated, hated this movie. Because I Said So is a painfully awful, nightmare of a movie that poor Diane Keaton may never recover from. She is lucky that she was once in Annie Hall and won a very deserved Academy award for Best Actress because otherwise it would be very easy to write her off after a disaster like this.

As it stands, I'm sure Diane Keaton will be back. Let's just hope she fires her agent before he allows her to make another movie remotely as awful as Because I Said So.

Movie Review: Road to Perdition

Road to Perdition (2002) 

Directed by Sam Mendes 

Written by David Self 

Starring Tom Hanks, Paul Newman, Tyler Hoechlin, Jude Law, Daniel Craig

Release Date July 12th, 2002 

Published July 11th, 2002 

Tom Hanks is the ultimate affable good guy, in many ways he's the essence of the everyman. The party animal from Bachelor Party, the doofus cross dresser from Bosom Buddies, and the ultimate noble good guy, Forrest Gump. It is this reputation that made Road To Perdition so special. In Perdition, Hanks portrays a cold hearted mob assassin seeking revenge. It is a stretch, because he's Tom Hanks but a man with two Oscars under his belt never lacks for confidence.

In Road To Perdition, Hank's is Michael Sullivan, a hitman for the Rock Island branch of Al Capone's Chicago Mob. Paul Newman is John Rooney, Sullivan's boss, a man who is like a father to Michael. That dynamic changes dramatically  when a 'business' meeting goes bad. Rooney's actual son, played by Daniel Craig, kills a mob associate unexpectedly and the hit is witnessed by Michael's son, Michael Jr, played by Tyler Hoechlin. Unwilling to let his son be caught by either the cops or the mob, John Rooney turns on Michael and decides to have Michael and Michael Jr killed. 

Also on the Sullivan's’ trail is a hitman named Harlan "the Reporter" Maguire (Jude Law). Maguire is called The Reporter because after he kills someone he photographs the body and sells the picture to the newspapers. It's a great gimmick, a well fleshed out bit of detail that Jude Law clearly relishes. Law is wildly charismatic and you can sense how much he enjoyed playing this character in Road to Perdition. It's a delicious supporting role, superbly played. 

Road To Perdition has a strong narrative, hard boiled dialogue, and, of course, the acting is first rate. Especially good is the legendary Paul Newman as the pragmatic mob boss forced to choose between his son and his adopted son. Newman gives two flawless monologues that should net him an Academy Award nomination, if not a win. Hanks made his Oscar reservations the day he signed onto the picture. Hanks never trades on his persona. For Hanks, Michael Sullivan is a challengingly different role and he makes it look easy. With any icy stare and everyman look he transforms into a surprisingly menacing version of himself.

Director Sam Mendes, who won the Academy Award for his first picture American Beauty, beats the sophomore jinx with an amazing depiction of real life violence and it's consequence. It's about the bonds of family and especially fatherhood. As Newman's character explains "Sons were put on this earth to trouble their fathers". Of course Conrad L. Hall does yet another spectacular job. His cinematography is damn near flawless, especially at the film’s moving climax.

If I had any problem with the film it was the feeling of inevitability. Every action by every character seems as if it were written in stone long before it happened. This inevitability makes the film a little predictable. Also, the films ending, while very moving, lacks the catharsis the audience desperately needs. Still, you can go ahead and pencil in Road To Perdition on your fantasy Oscar ballot.