Movie review: The Mule
Movie Review: The Mummy Tomb of the Dragon Emperor
The Mummy Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008)
Directed by Rob Cohen
Written by Alfred Gough, Miles Millar
Starring Brendan Fraser, Jet Li, Maria Bello, Russell Wong, Michelle Yeoh
Release Date August 1st, 2008
Published July 30th, 2008
Brenden Fraser has long been one of my favorite actors. No actor does big, goofy galoot, nearly as well as Fraser who has essayed roles as a caveman, as George of the Jungle, and in the Mummy movies a 40's era action movie leading man. Often, even when the movie really stinks Fraser remains above the fray, a goofy, good time presence. Unfortunately, even Fraser's good natured goofiness can't rescue the latest in the Mummy series, Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. By the end of this 2 plus hour slog even Fraser seems tired.
When we rejoin the Mummy-verse, Rick O'Connell (Fraser) and his wife Evelyn (Maria Bello, replacing the not returning Rachel Weisz) have retired from the adventure business. After turning back the attack of the mummy Imhotep twice, and even an encounter with the Scorpion King, Rick and Evy are in a welcome respite. At home in their stately manse in England they spend lazy days fishing, writing and being bored out of their minds.
Yes, they actually miss the days when they were risking their lives against supernatural forces and narrowly escaping death through cunning and guile. So, when a British official shows up asking them to return to duty to accompany an ancient artifact to China they leap at the chance. And, as luck would have it, Evy's brother John happens to have moved to Shanghai and opened a nightclub.
Meanwhile, Rick and Evy's son Alex (Luke Ford) happens to be in China discovering the lost tomb of the legendary Dragon Emperor (Jet Li). Unfortunately, after he makes his discovery, Luke gets double crossed and a group of military exiles take possession of the Emperor and set about restoring him to eternal life. Now, Luke and his parents must join forces with an ancient witch (Michelle Yeoh) and her daughter (Isabella Leong) to battle the resurrected dragon emperor and his army of Terra cottar warriors.
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor was directed by Rob Cohen with a tin ear for melodrama and big action. Listening to characters in this latest Mummy movie chat, you get a painful series of scenes where characters state what just happened ir what happens next in stultifying exposition. It's the most perfunctory, irritating explication you can imagine. When they aren't explaining things to us that we are already painfully aware of, characters are professing their feelings to each other with lunkhead-ed platitudes that would make the folks at Hallmark wretch.
Of course, you can't expect a Mummy movie to have great dialogue, if you've seen the previous two blockbusters, and the offshoot, The Scorpion King, you know what you can expect of the script. You have to just hope going in that there won't be so much of those endless reams of expostion. Hopefully you get big action and effects scenes to drown out whatever waste of breath dialogue there may be. Stephen Sommers, who directed the first two Mummy movies, mastered the ability to put action and effects ahead of all else.
Unfortunately, Sommers is gone and replaced by Rob Cohen whose resume includes XXX and Stealth. Those films stink pretty bad but The Mummy Tomb of the Dragon Emperor somehow manages to be even worse. On top of the horrendous dialogue and atrocious melodrama, the action and effects of this Mummy sequel stink. Like digital Ed Wood characters, the digital armies of the dead look worse than most modern video-games and are a hell of a lot less interesting.
Compounding the problems is the grounding of Jet Li. Promoting Jet Li as the Dragon Emperor was a downright lie. Li's role is little more than a cameo. The dragon emperor is more often than not a dull special effect that hardly even looked like Jet Li. When Jet Li does show up he is asked to actually act as opposed to leap about and do things we want Jet Li to do. It's a baffling choice but essentially the filmmakers chose a bad CGI of Jet Li over the real life Jet, arguably one the greatest human special effects of all time.
As a third movie The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor had low expectations when it was completed and somehow manages to come in worse than those expectations. This is a tremendously bad movie that leaves little doubt why Oscar nominee Rachel Weisz rejected the idea of coming back to the role of Evy. With a script this bad and a director this inept it's a wonder this film attracted the onscreen talent it did. I'm still a fan of Brenden Fraser and with the charming Journey To The Center of the earth in theaters, it's not to hard to forget Tomb of the Dragon Emporer. I just cannot forget it fast enough.
Movie Review: The Muppet Movie
The Muppet Movie (1979)
Directed by James Frawley
Written by Jerry Juhl, Jack Burns
Starring Jim Henson, Frank Oz, Dom Deluise, James Coburn, Elliott Gould
Release Date June 22nd, 1979
Published August 24th, 2018 (in conjunction with the release of 'The Happy Time Murders)
There is a reason I love to look back on and remember and write about old movies, they can feel like new again. A great example of that is The Muppet Movie from 1979. I remember being delighted by this movie when I was a very small child, I watched it consistently alongside episodes of The Muppet Show. It was formative for me, elements of my personality and my my humor were formed from watching, Kermit, Miss Piggy and Fozzy.
Jim Henson's love of the absurd became my love for the absurd. Something like Pigs in Space which appears so inconsequential today, was the height of comedy for me as a child and has remained influential for me as I love a big, booming announcer voice and the simple juxtaposition that comes from the idea of pigs piloting a spaceship. Watch it today and you get an even more nuanced gag that plays on the pigs acting like the hammy actors from 50’s and 60’s sci-fi cheapies and, of course, WIlliam Shatner.
The glory of The Muppets is in the clever subtlety. The send up of Hollywood and show business in The Muppets is never mean, it’s wildly clever. Are there digs at the pomposity of showbiz phonies? Of Course, but they are done in the fashion of an elbow in the ribs prodding and not a baseball bat to the head obviousness. Watching The Muppet Movie in the wake of the release of The Happytime Murders helped remind me what a true joy The Muppets are and always have been.
The Muppet Movie sets out to tell the origin story of Kermit and the gang. In lore, Kermit was sitting on a log singing “Rainbow Connection” and playing his banjo when a big Hollywood producer (Dom Deluise) floats up on a boat. The producer is lost and needs to get back to Hollywood but first he tells Kermit that Hollywood is hot to cast frogs for a big movie. Kermit isn’t immediately excited by the prospect of leaving the swamp but he has a desire for some adventure so he gets on his way.
From there it’s a stop at a place called El Sleezo where, after encountering Madeline Kahn, James Coburn and Telly Savalas, Kermit meets his new best friend Fozzy Bear. Fozzy is attempting his stand-up comedy routine and it is not going well so Kermit jumped on stage and still things did not go well. The scene proceeds to a silly conclusion but one that sets the table for the kind of wonderfully slight gags we’re going to enjoy for the rest of the movie.
As Kermit and Fozzy are getting out of town, Kermit is approached by an oily fast food shop owner, played by Charles Durning, and his lackey, played by Austin Pendleton. The fast food man wants Kermit to become the face of his Frog Legs franchise but Kermit recognizes how awful that idea is and he and Fozzy make a hasty escape. Durning and Pendleton follow after and show up when the plot needs kicked along. Eventually we meet the rest of the gang, including Gonzo and Miss Piggy and we get plenty of songs and gags along the way.
The Muppet Movie was directed by James Frawley a surprisingly indistinct director for such a distinctive movie. Frawley’s background is in directing television and in 1979 and even since after The Muppets, Frawley has had nothing to do with The Muppets. With the way he captures the tone and the joy of The Muppets, you might reasonably assume that Frawley was a regular collaborator but he wasn’t, he was just a good hired hand.
It’s likely that Jim Henson stepped to the fore to really direct The Muppet Movie and make sure that it met the expectations of fans. Frawley was perhaps brought on board to assure studio execs that there was an adult in the room while Henson and Frank Oz and the rest set about bringing there silly puppet show to life on the big screen. That’s not to take away from Frawley who I am willing to bet didn’t just stand aside and allow the inmates to run the asylum.
The other part that likely got The Muppet Movie made were the cameos. Big time stars jumped at the chance to be in The Muppet Movie for a bit of business. I mentioned James Coburn, Madeline Kahn, and Dom Deluise already. Charles Durning and Austin Pendleton are actually part of the plot but then there are tiny bits of fun from Richard Pryor, Bob Hope, Mel Brooks, and Steve Martin gets an extended cameo as an angry waiter that is a real show stealer.
There are numerous other cameos as well, watch for Carol Kane’s double cameo, the second time she shows up is one of the most random and hilarious gags in the movie. There is an inventiveness to the humor of The Muppets that is too often forgotten when we remember them as kids entertainers or for their wonderful songs. There is a runner in the movie about Hare Krishna’s that repeatedly gets a laugh, the Carol Kane bit is completely random yet ingenious and the pie gag involving Durning and Pendleton’s villains is wonderfully, brilliantly absurd and well imagined.
Then there are those wonderful songs. Rainbow Connection may be a tad sappy but the way it is introduced and then brought back late in the movie is a fine piece of musical film-making. Movin’ Right Along is one of the most underrated and adorable songs of all time. It’s also an incredible piece of pop song tune-smithing. Paul Williams is rightfully remembered as a genius and while he received an Academy Award for Rainbow Connection, he could have easily received the nomination for any one of the brilliant songs on this soundtrack.
The Happytime Murders, if it accomplishes one thing, it got me to watch The Muppet Movie again. It reminded me of how wonderfully clever and inventive The Muppet Movie is. I know the films are only really related in name to Henson, Jim Henson’s son, Brian directed The Happytime Murders, but they aren’t truly related. The Happytime Murders is comedically sloppy and tonally inept. The Muppet Movie is exactly the opposite and completely hilarious, the films are in two completely different universes.
The Happytime Murders really could have used a James Frawley to reign things in and perhaps make things coherent.
Movie Review: The Nanny Diaries
The Nanny Diaries (2007)
Directed by Shari Springer Berman, Robert Pulcini
Written by Robert Pulcini, Shari Springer Berman
Starring Scarlett Johansson, Laura Linney, Alicia Keys, Chris Evans, Paul Giamatti
Release Date August 24th, 2007
Published August 23rd, 2007
In an interview with the New York Times, directors Robert Pulcini and Sherry Springer Berman, the husband and wife team behind American Splendor, told a reporter that they really wanted to direct a mainstream Hollywood feature. Immediately, after reading that, I knew the movie was doomed. Trying to make a mainstream Hollywood movie is to fail at making a mainstream Hollywood movie. Immediately you link yourself to an almost untenable template of cliches and perfunctory scenes. Throw in a dull romantic subplot and you get the supremely disappointing The Nanny Diaries.
Adapted from the terrifically catty bestseller by Emma McLaughlin and Nicola Kraus, two real life, former New York Nannies, The Nanny Diaries stars Scarlett Johannson as Annie. An aimless college grad, Annie longs to get into anthropology. For now she is content to get out of her mom's house. When Annie meets 4 year old Grayer (Nicholas Art) she saves him from a collision with a careless jogger and is immediately offered the opportunity to become his nanny, though she has no child care experience whatsoever.
Sensing an interesting anthropological opportunity to observe the customs and mores of upper east side New Yorkers, Annie accepts the job and finds herself in an ugly world of consumption and child neglect. Grayer's parents, who Annie refers to as Mr. & Mrs. X (Paul Giamatti and Laura Linney), treat their son as an inconvenience, as a pawn, and as a status symbol.
Grayer's plight forces Annie to commit beyond her anthropological interests and try and find ways to protect the poor kid from his awful parents. Tacked onto this plot is a romance between Annie and a guy she calls Harvard Hottie (Chris Evans), a nickname she uses to keep him at a distance, a tactic that fails miserably after just one date.
What is lacking in The Nanny Diaries is the kind of catty insights and snarky wit of the book by Emma McLaughlin and Nicola Kraus. The film adaptation is a spineless version of the book that tries to go for heart strings instead of the funny bone and misses both quite badly. In their attempt to make a mainstream Hollywood comedy, directors Sherry Springer Berman and Robert Pulcini dull their sharp edges to appeal to a broader audience.
Someone should have told them that you can't please everyone no matter how bland and inoffensive you might be. Bland and inoffensive is certainly a good description of The Nanny Diaries which, though the parents played by Laura Linney and Paul Giamatti are truly awful people, the film refuses to judge them too harshly. Linney is almost sympathetic in her sadness, while Giamatti is off-screen too often for us to judge him much at all. Mr. X is a surface bastard with seemingly no motivation for his bad behavior.
The one element of The Nanny Diaries that works is Scarlett Johannson who plays the role that is given to her to the best of her abilities. Though hampered by a role that should be a little smarter, funnier and more biting and insightful, Johannson is, at the very least, charismatic and that goes a long way to improving an otherwise dismal movie. It's a shame that Johannson's romance with Chris Evans' Harvard Hottie never really sparks. The romantic subplot exists only to break the monotony of the dreary family plot and for that we are thankful. Unfortunately, the distractions are brief and Johansson and Evans never find that elusive romantic connection.
The Nanny Diaries lacks the spine to really tear into these awful parents and instead is understanding to a ludicrous extent. The actions of these parents is akin to emotional abuse and yet by the end we are to believe that young Grayer has hopes for a bright happy future without his nanny for protection. The film needed to be edgier, more judgmental, with the kind of catty insider perspective that made the book a beach read phenomenon.
Spineless and forgettable, The Nanny Diaries is a real disappointment. When independent directors like Sherry Springer Berman and Robert Pulcini move into the realm of the mainstream the hope is they won't bend to mainstream conventions but will bend convention to there artistic will. That doesn't happen in The Nanny Diaries and the result is a movie that tries to please all audiences and ends up pleasing few.
Movie Review: The New World
Movie Review: The Next Three Days
Movie Review: The Night Listener
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