Movie Review Gamer

Gamer (2009) 

Directed by Neveldine and Taylor 

Written by Neveldine and Taylor 

Starring Gerald Butler, Michael C Hall, Amber Valletta, Logan Lerman, Terry Crews 

Release Date September 4th, 2009 

Published by September 3rd, 2009 

I was under the impression that actor Gerard Butler's career was going really well. That clearly is not the case after watching his new movie Gamer. If Mr. Butler has to pick up a role that Jason Statham obviously passed on, things aren't going that well. Ok, admittedly, I cannot prove that Mr. Statham passed on Gamer. However, the movie comes from the Crank team of directors, Mark Neveldine and Bryan Taylor.

Not to mention the fact that the role is pitched to Statham's vibe of brain free, bloody grit. Gerard Butler picks up the role and one cannot escape the idea of a not so bad actor picking up another actor's scraps. What a shame. Gamer is a dopey sci-fi action movie that thrusts its audience into the midst of a story in progress. In some not so distant future interactive gaming has evolved to an inhumane level. Real men and women are being incorporated into the gaming world through technology created by Ken Castle (Michael C. Hall). Castle is a malevolent version of Bill Gates.

Castle's brain controlling technology allows gamers to control real people. His first breakthrough game, Society, allowed the gamer to live out debauched fantasies, through real people. Castle's major breakthrough however is called Slayers, a game where death row inmates run about shooting at other death row inmates. If one inmate survives 30 battles he or she can be set free.

The star of Slayers is Kable (Butler). He had survived 27 battles when we meet him. Kable's real name is Tillman and he is surviving so that he can be reunited with his wife and daughter. Kable is controlled by a teenager named Simon (Logan Lerman) and when Simon is approached by a group opposed to Castle, Kable may find his way to escape.

I have brought some order to this story through my description of the plot but trust me when I tell you that the movie itself is much more of a mess than I let on. As with their two Crank movies, directors Neveldine and Taylor have little care for telling a story. The interests of these two low watt auteurs is playing with violent toys and reveling in human destruction.

Neveldine and Taylor have a low opinion of humanity and through their movies they choose to appeal only to the base impulses. This cynical approach is expressed through misogynist imagery and hardcore violence. Women are treated as victims and sex objects and violence is exploited and glorified in a fashion that makes you worry for the director's private lives.

Movies like Gamer and both of the Crank films are like a psychological profile of the people who created them. What they show are a pair of adults who act out like teenagers. The unrestrained id. The out of control ego. And finally, the plain and simple immaturity of these films makes you wonder if regular therapy sessions would be a better use of time than filmmaking for Neveldine and Taylor.

Not only is Gamer ugly, immature and cynical, it's also derivative. Take a dash of Running Man, cross it with Death Race and you get the bare bones of Gamer. Place big dumb action star in an inescapably violent future state. Place big dumb action star in a violent game where bloodthirsty audiences ooh and ahh. Finally, have big dumb action guy bring down the bad guy.

Whether Butler's Kable is successful in stopping the evil Bill Gates guy, I will leave you to discover should you choose to endure Gamer. It doesn't really matter whether he succeeds or not. It doesn't improve the awful, ugly mess that is Gamer. Really, nothing could.

Movie Review G-Force

G-Force (2009) 

Directed by Hoyt H Yeatman Jr. 

Written by Cormac Wibberly, Marianne Wibberly 

Starring Zach Galifianakis, Nicolas Cage, Penelope Cruz, Tracy Morgan, Will Arnett, Steve Buscemi 

Release Date July 24th, 2009 

Published July 23rd, 2009 

The star of The Hangover, the foul mouthed lowbrow road comedy sensation of summer 2009, Zach Galifianakis, changes gears completely in the family adventure comedy, G-Force. Going from debauchery in Vegas to daring do alongside computer generated guinea pigs, Galifianakis may have one of the most successful and schizophrenic summer movie seasons of any actor ever.

In G-Force Zach Galifianakis plays Ben, the head scientist in a secret government lab that trains animals as spies. Ben started by training cockroaches to carry bugging devices (HA!). His greatest breakthrough however is inventing a way for guinea pigs to speak and then perform tasks. Sending them into the field for the first time, Ben has G-Force, as they come to be called, infiltrate the home of a wealthy industrialist (Bill Nighy) with alleged ambitions for taking over the world. G-Force is made up of Darwin (Sam Rockwell), Blaster (Tracy Morgan), Juarez (Penelope Cruz) and Speckles (Nicolas Cage). Speckles is a mole and a computer expert.

G-Force unfortunately fails their first mission. The evidence they thought they found was corrupted. This leads to the team being taken away from Ben and the whole operation getting shutdown by Agent Killian (Will Arnett). G-Force ends up in a pet shop but eventually their training kicks in and they are soon back on the case, even as their own government chases them down. Will they stop the tycoon from taking over the world? Do you care?

OK. You likely don't care and neither, really, will the target audience of children. What matters in G-Force are the little pleasures like a touch of the lowbrow humor, a waste of time car chase involving giant SUVs and tiny plastic hamster balls, and the sight of star Zach Galifianakis so convincingly interacting with CGI rodents.

G-Force, as most kids movies these days, is in 3D and while it adds very little to the proceedings, G-Force at least can slightly justify the use with some big time, flying at the screen action set pieces. The 3D isn't as forced as a lot of the modern 3D films and because G-Force is not a colorful or visually dynamic movie the 3D doesn't harm the experience like it did with animated films like Coraline and Up.

Is G-Force a good movie? Eh, not really. But, by the lowered standards of the kiddie flick it's not bad. Zach Galifianakis makes the most of his limited screen time and he's become a very welcome presence in movies. Bottom line is, as 3D kiddie fare goes, I can recommend G-Force even if I have already begun to forget it.

Movie Review Furry Vengeance

Furry Vengeance (2010) 

Directed by Roger Kumble 

Written by Michael Karnes, Josh Gilbert

Starring Brendan Fraser, Brooke Shields, Ken Jeong 

Release Date April 30th, 2010

Published April 29th, 2010

Brenden Fraser is a terrific goofball. He's been one of Hollywood's best golf balls since his breakthrough role as the caveman teenager in "Encino Man." Guileless, earnest and most of all highly committed to whatever the role calls for, that's been the hallmark of Brendan Fraser's career. Whether he is tumbling down hills, getting punched in the face, or chased by Mummies, Scorpions or Dinosaurs, Fraser's winning goofball-ness never seems to fail.

Until now that is. On the surface, "Furry Vengeance," with its anthropomorphized animals and heavy reliance on slapstick, would seem right up Fraser's alley. Surfaces can be quite deceiving. Even with Fraser giving his sincere best, "Furry Vengeance" is a bitterly ugly family comedy dedicated to bizarre innuendo and below the belt humor that even Mr. Fraser can't save with that goofy mug of his.

In "Furry Vengeance" Brenden Fraser is Dan Sanders, a family man from Chicago who has uprooted his family, wife Tammy (Brook Shields) and son Tyler (Matt Prokop), to a forest area where he is to oversee the development of new suburban homes. Unfortunately for Dan, there are already residents in this neighborhood and they don't take kindly to strangers. These residents are a scrappy group of rodents and other woodland creature friends who are sentient enough to know when they are being threatened and savvy enough to fight back.

Soon, poor Dan is being kept up at night by birds and attacked during the day by skunks, all under the leadership of a crafty raccoon. In what is likely a nod to classic Looney Tunes shorts of the 50's, only Dan knows the animals are out to get him while everyone else, including his wife and son, just think he's going crazy.

The allusion to Looney Tunes is the only humor to be wrung from “Furry Vengeance.” I managed to kill several minutes of this belligerent farce by going back in my mind to the classic cartoon frog who sang opera but only to one poor schmoe and never in front of a crowd. The poor guy would repeatedly hear the frog perform beautiful arias and then attempt to show others only to have the frog act like a typical frog. That anecdote has only a passing connection to "Furry Vengeance." Apparently just writing about this movie inspires me to seek distraction.

Among the main oddities of "Furry Vengeance" is a propensity toward gags in the script that kids won't get or, depending on their age, should not get. The screenplay has an odd tendency toward sexual innuendo outside of a sexual situation. The credit sequence is easily the most jarring of the inappropriate humor in "Furry Vengeance" as the cast, kids included, sings along to a Kidz Bop-esque remix of Cypress Hill "Insane in the Membrane." This is wrong on so many levels that I cannot begin to number them in this space.

That said, allow me to address those who are already typing their complaint; I know this is a kids movie and not meant for someone like me. I don't have kids. That said, I feel that if I had children, no matter how much they whine, I would not bring them to see "Furry Vengeance."

Regardless of whether the film is pitched to the juvenile sense of humor, I demand something more mentally nutritious for my fictional child. "Furry Vengeance" arrives at a time when the brilliant "How to Train Your Dragon" is still in theaters. Anyone who chooses "Furry Vengeance" over the thrills, chuckles and honest to goodness, wisdom of "How to Train Your Dragon" needs their head examined.

Movie Review The Last Song

The Last Song (2010) 

Directed by Julie Ann Robinson 

Written by Nicholas Sparks 

Starring Miley Cyrus, Liam Hemsworth, Kelly Preston, Greg Kinnear 

Release Date March 31st, 2010 

Published March 30th, 2010 

Miley 'Hannah Montana' Cyrus, Nicholas 'schmaltz-merchant' sparks and the family friendly folks at Disney are a combination that invites snark, that malicious form of discontent expressed in sometimes angry, often biting sarcasm. Each of these three properties has earned their fair share of derision with weak in the knees pandering to the most simplistic of audience expectations.

That said, I will attempt to fight back the snarky beast waiting to strike the new Miley, Sparks, Disney movie The Last Song which, under the direction of newcomer Julie Ann Robinson, is not really deserving of the cannon fodder snark aimed in its direction. Ronnie Miller (Miley) is a recent High School grad forced to leave New York behind for her Dad Steve's (Greg Kinnear) beach house in Georgia for the summer before she goes off to, well, at the moment, nowhere.

Though Ronnie has been accepted to Julliard she has no plans of going, she gave up music several years ago when her parents split. Ronnie's main goal will be to do her time at dads and get back to her friends and her mild rebellion in New York. Along for the ride is Ronnie's little brother Jonah (Bobby Coleman) who, lucky for dad, is much more enthusiastic about the summer sojourn.

While avoiding her dad Ronnie encounters Will (Liam Hemsworth) and after some required tension the two begin a romance that begins to lead everyone to a better place. That is of course until the typical elements of a Nicholas Sparks melodrama emerge to submerge the story in hokum, predictability and a tragic passing. It wouldn't be Nicholas Sparks film if none of the principles weren't on the verge of croaksville. (Damn you snarkmonster!)

Sparks's script, commissioned by Disney specifically as a vehicle for Ms. Cyrus, is the weakest element of what is otherwise a rather charming little melodrama. Sparks cannot resist applying his trite formula of teen angst, overblown dramatics and cancer to the story and that leaves director Julie Ann Robinson room only to navigate around the many potholes created by Sparks and co-screenwriter Jeff Van Wie. In a rather remarkable turn of events, for the first 2 acts of The Last Song Ms. Robinson actually pulls it off.

The Last Song begins with a little mystery involving Dad's background, moves stiffly but effectively to Ronnie's unhappiness with the situation to her opening up to the surroundings, in the form of saving sea turtle eggs on the beach from predators and into her charming and effective romance with the too handsome Will. Through it all Ms. Cyrus pitches her performance at just the right level of teenage rebellion and little girl petulance.

The final act sadly coheres to the typicality’s of the Nicholas Sparks brand of forced drama and earns the first of more than a few groans. I should point out that on my patented Nicholas Sparks groan-meter The Last Song was a mere 6 groaner where his last effort, Dear John, was somewhere in the 30 to 35 range. So, that's quite an improvement really. (Snark!)

Even with the dithering final act, The Last Song remains a charming little teenage romance that demonstrates that when under the guiding hand of a director who cares Miley Cyrus has the talent to deliver something more than her pop star persona. The performance here is genuine and enjoyable and where I was once skeptical and dubious of Miley's acting aspirations I now must admit she may just have a future in film yet.

Movie Review The Last Samurai

The Last Samurai (2003) 

Directed by Ed Zwick 

Written by John Logan, Ed Zwick, Marshall Herskowitz 

Starring Tom Cruise, Timothy Spall, Ken Watanabe, Billy Connelly, Tony Goldwyn 

Release Date December 5th, 2003 

Published December 4th, 2003 

In his nearly 20-year career as a director, Ed Zwick has yet to show the auteur's spark that separates great directors from good directors. Like a modern Michael Curtiz, Zwick shows flairs of brilliance here and there and, like Curtiz, he makes wonderful, studio-driven pictures, but has yet to find a style of his own. Curtiz made one masterpiece: Casablanca. Zwick has yet to make his masterpiece though, his latest picture, The Last Samurai, approaches greatness, it's conventional, unmemorable style keeps it from being called a masterpiece.

The Last Samurai stars Tom Cruise as a former civil war hero named Nathan Ahlgren who has spent his time since the end of the war inside a whiskey bottle. Working for a company demonstrating firearms for pennies, Ahlgen is trying to forget the horrors of the war by drinking himself to death. Things change when his former army friend Zeb Gant (Billy Connolly) offers him an opportunity to make a lot of money doing what he does best: making war.

The job is to go to Japan and help train the Japanese army in modern warfare. The Japanese are only beginning to use guns and artillery in battle and the emperor of Japan has ordered his closest advisor, Mr. Omura (Japanese director Masato Harada), to bring in the Americans to train the peasant army. The emperor’s advisor is in a precarious situation and must ready the army for war against a rising tide of Samurai warriors who oppose the rapid modernization of their homeland.

The samurai are being displaced as the protectors of Japan by the modern army but, more importantly, their code of conduct--the Bushido--is being pushed aside by the rapid modernization that has brought an influx of foreigners to Japan looking to take advantage of a new market. The samurai don't wish to stand in the way of progress but merely to slow it to a point where history will not be forgotten or, rather, completely erased by so-called progress.

The samurai are lead by the charismatic Katsumoto (Ken Watanabe), the last living head of a samurai clan. Once an advisor to the empower, he was cast aside for opposing the encroachment of foreigners. On the battlefield, his prowess as a tactician and warrior has helped his samurai army overcome an army with swords defeating guns.

When Ahlgren, under the command of his former Civil war Colonel Bagley (Tony Goldwyn), is forced to lead an unprepared Japanese army against Katsumoto's samurai, Ahlgren is nearly killed as his platoon of soldiers are slaughtered by the samurai. Katsumoto spares Ahlgren's life after watching him hold off several samurai with merely a broken flagpole. Ahlgren is taken as a prisoner back to the samurais’ mountain enclave. There, his wounds are tended by Katsumoto's sister, Taka (Koyuki). There is a great deal of tension in their relationship for reasons that are best left unsaid.

Ahlgren is held captive throughout the winter and he and Katsumoto develop an uneasy friendship through their quiet conversations about war. Katsumoto reads Ahlgren's journals detailing the Civil War as well as the American army's eradication of the American Indian, something Ahlgren feels gravely guilty about. Gradually, Ahlgren assimilates into the samurai culture and soon he will be forced to choose sides in an inevitable war between the past and the future of Japan.

For Cruise, The Last Samurai marks yet another stellar performance that will likely be overshadowed by his stature as a sex symbol. It doesn't seem to matter how well Cruise performs in any film, his looks and image always get the attention. It's a terrible shame because Cruise is, in my opinion, turning out some of the finest work of any actor working today. His role in The Last Samurai is deserving of a Best Actor nomination and, in a weak field, he is likely to get it. He deserves to win but he deserved to win a couple of times and did not, so I won't get my hopes up.

Watanabe may actually outshine Cruise on Oscar night. His portrayal of Katsumoto is a complicated and brilliant performance that captures the essence of what Zwick wants us to understand of the samurai. Watanabe personifies the samurai warrior code, and communicates its importance to the audience with his subtle intelligence and spirit. If he doesn't win Best Supporting Actor, I will be very disappointed.

For Zwick, The Last Samurai is another signpost on the way to a potential masterpiece. It's an epic work of directorial craftsmanship. What Zwick lacks is a signature style that tells you this is an Ed Zwick film. The Last Samurai is a slave to conventional three-act filmmaking and conventional shooting styles. It is, without a doubt, a terrific work, but it comes up short of being a masterpiece because it's too slick and stylish. The film is too easily fit into a Hollywood marketing campaign to be a significant work of art.

The Last Samurai must settle for being a terrific work of pop entertainment, a conventional Hollywood work of crafty brilliance that showcases a star at the height of his abilities and a director with the potential for greatness.

Movie Review The Last Movie Star

The Last Move Star (2018) 

Directed by Adam Rifkin

Written by Adam Rifkin 

Starring Burt Reynolds, Ariel Winter, Clark Duke, Ellar Coltrane, Chevy Chase 

Release Date March 30th, 2018 

Published March 29th, 2018 

The Last Movie Star turns a bold and daring eye on an aging Burt Reynolds and never looks away. Writer-Director Adam Rifkin has crafted a tribute to the movie star Burt Reynolds and a deconstruction of the actor and person Burt Reynolds. It’s a strange and fascinating piece that is equal parts funny, emotional and sit-comic. Reynolds is rather incredible throughout even as the direction lets him down here and there.

Vic Edwards (Reynolds) was once the biggest movie star in the world. That was a long time ago. Today, Vic is a lonely has-been in a large house whose dog just died. No, lie the opening scenes of the movie with Vic having to put his elderly pooch down at a vet’s office legit broke my heart as a dog lover, not to mention just feeling sorry for this old man we’re just meeting and will come to know.

Vic gets invited to a film festival in Nashville, Tennessee where he will be honored with a lifetime achievement award. His buddy, played by Chevy Chase, seemingly playing his creepy self, encourages him to accept the invitation, he’s heard that Eastwood, Pacino and DeNiro have all been honored at this festival in the past. The promise of an all-expense paid trip and the fact that Vic is originally from Tennessee convince him to accept.

Upon arrival however, Vic finds the festival may not be as prestigious as promised. After a painful coach plane ride, Vic is met at the airport by Lil (Modern Family star Ariel Winter), who is loudly arguing with her terrible boyfriend and driving what can kindly be considered a car, Vic was expecting a limousine. Finally, Vic arrives at the festival, hosted by Lil’s brother Doug (Clark Duke) in the back of a bar.

Desperately unhappy, Vic proceeds to get drunk and the next day forces Lil to take him back to his hometown in Knoxville rather than return to the festival. From there, Vic will reminisce and regret, ruminate and accept where his life is now. It’s quite a journey filled with some surprisingly big laughs from both Reynolds and Winter. But. The Last Movie Star has something more than just some TV sitcom ready punchlines in store 

It is perhaps more than a little manipulative to have the aged Burt Reynolds acting out portions of his own life story through the character of Vic but damned if I wasn’t moved by it. Portions of the film are even told using Reynolds’ real life movies as those of his characters. A pair of dreams find the Reynolds of today chatting with Bandit Burt and Deliverance Burt. These scenes are admittedly maudlin but Reynolds gives them real weight.

Later dramatic scenes in which Vic is reflecting on his childhood, his marriages and his career are equally moving and while the direction isn’t spectacular and the set ups are obvious and forced, Reynolds is so good that I could not help but get sucked in. The final moment of the film is by far Reynolds crowning jewel as an actor and as Burt Reynolds the movie star. Watch his eyes, watch that smile; it’s really something to see.

I have mixed feelings about The Last Movie Star but not about Reynolds. Despite the pushy, borderline amateurish direction, he is magnetic and deeply sympathetic. That’s not something I have ever thought of Burt Reynolds, sympathetic. He’s always been that Bugs Bunny like character to me, the quick-witted charmer with that killer smile, and always one step ahead of the man.

Later in his life he was a sad shell of a movie star, slumming it on TV, glaring from tabloid magazine covers and only occasionally, as in Boogie Nights, flashing the chops that he’d so often hidden behind that façade of a movie star charm. He was perhaps a pathetic figure from that tabloid perspective, the focus on his legendary hairpiece, which gets no call outs here, but never someone I was called to feel sorry for.

Here however, in The Last Movie Star, Burt Reynolds is deeply sympathetic. Downright moving in how sympathetic he is. Genuine vulnerability has come with his aging and withered his charm along with his handsome features but the actor remains. Sure, the movie cheats by using Reynolds’ real life as shorthand but man does Burt lean into that and make it something more than just an ego trip down memory lane.

Movie Review The Last Mimzy

The Last Mimzy (2007) 

Directed by Robert Shaye 

Written by Bruce Joel Rubin, Toby Emmerich, James V Hart 

Starring Joely Richardson, Timothy Hutton, Michael Clarke Duncan, Rainn Wilson 

Release Date March 23rd, 2007 

Published March 22nd, 2007 

Robert Shaye is a behind the scenes legend in Hollywood. As President of New Line Cinema Shaye turned the boutique label into a major Hollywood player. Shaye shepherded such projects as Nightmare on Elm Street, the live action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and The Lord of the Rings trilogy. With so much success it would be very easy for Shaye to rest and count his cash.

Resting may be on the agenda some time in the future for Robert Shaye; but for now he is ready for a new challenge. After years as the money man, Shaye went and got his hands dirty on the set of his very own movie. Shaye is behind the camera, for the second time in his long Hollywood career, on the kiddie sci fi flick The Last Mimzy.

In The Last Mimzy a brother and sister, 10 year old Noah (Chris O'Neil) and 5 year old Emma (Rhiannon Leigh Wryn), vacationing at their beach house on the Washington state coast, uncover a unique box. Inside is a magical stuffed animal named Mimzy who Emma adopts as her favorite new toy. Also inside are some strange looking rocks that seem to have some kind of mystical power but only in Noah's hands.

Soon the rocks and the toy bunny begin to help the kids make some unique discoveries. Both kids have amazing brain power and together with their new toys they may be able to create a bridge through time. Naturally, the changes in the kids behavior do not go unnoticed by mom (Joely Richardson) and dad (Timothy Hutton). And at school; Noah's science teacher also notices a change when he goes from apathetic C student to science fair champion.

Eventually, the power of their new toys gets beyond the walls of their own home and when it does it causes an incident with homeland security. Can the kids help Mimzy build his time travel bridge before the federal government steps in? Or is the future doomed by government scientists who can't wait to dissect the little child's toy.

The Last Mimzy is loosely based on a 60's sci fi short story called Mimsy Were The Borogoves. Director Robert Shaye read and fell in love with the story years ago but only now found the opportunity to bring it to the big screen. Shaye's direction conveys how much he loves this story. The Last Mimzy is energetic and fun with a terrifically childlike imagination.

The secret weapon of The Last Mimzy was the casting of two terrific young leads. Chris O'Neill and Rhiannon Leigh Wryn capture perfectly the innocence and childish wonder of The Last Mimzy. This is a whimsical, sweet natured little movie that could have crumbled under the weight over overly precocious child actors. O'Neill and Wryn deliver performances of great sweetness and lightheartedness that  perfectly match the tone of this story.

The supporting cast of The Last Mimzy is as strong as the two young leads. I especially enjoyed Rainn Wilson as Noah's science teacher who has psychic dreams and Katherine Hahn as his girlfriend who can't get over the time he dreamed of winning lottery numbers but neglected to play them. These two quirky funny actors really play well together and like their co-stars, match the good natured whimsy of the story being told.

The Last Mimzy has nothing deep to say. It's not a movie that is going to stick with you long after you leave the theater. But, for a kiddie flick; it has a big heart, a few laughs and is just too darn fun not to be enjoyed by anyone willing to give it some time. See The Last Mimzy with your kids. They will love it and maybe you will too.