Movie Review Assassin's Creed

Assassin's Creed (2016) 

Directed by Justin Kurzel 

Written by Michael Lesslie, Adam Cooper, Bill Collage

Starring Michael Fassbender, Marion Cotillard, Jeremy Irons, Brendan Gleeson, Charlotte Rampling

Release Date December 21st, 2016 

Published December 20th, 2016

I cannot win with this review. I can, in my mind, already hear the voices of those who say that because I don’t like videogames I cannot appreciate a videogame movie. Then there are those who will recall the number of times I have decried the videogame movie subgenre and will also claim I went into “Assassin’s Creed” with bias. My only response to these spectral voices is believe whatever you want, Assassin’s Creed is simply not a very good movie, videogame adaptation or otherwise.

Michael Fassbender stars in “Assassin’s Creed” as Callum Lynch, the son of a murdered mother and a murderer father who grows up to be a killer himself. We meet the adult Callum on the day he is to be executed for what we can only assume was some sort of murder spree. The execution however, does not take and Callum wakes up in Spain where he’s been kidnapped by the Knights Templar who plan to hook Callum to a machine that can access the memories of his ancestors (just go with it).

Callum’s ancestors were members of an ancient order of Assassins known as the Creed. The Creed were created to battle the Knights Templar and specifically keep the Knights from getting their hands on The Apple, literally the apple taken from the tree knowledge in the Garden of Eden. For the reasons of the plot the Apple has the power to remove free will from the world and grant the Knights Templar the power to enslave humanity.

Through his time in the machine, called the Animus, Callum will learn the story of the Creed and will polish his assassin skills. Will he use those skills to continue his family legacy? Yeah, probably, the Knights Templar are obviously the bad guys here. Nevertheless, I will leave some mystery for you to discover if you choose to subject yourself to “Assassin’s Creed,” though I do not recommend that you do that.

“Assassin’s Creed” is a forgettable bad movie, not one that will leave much of any lasting impression. Michael Fassbender and co-stars Marion Cotillard, Jeremy Irons and Michael K. Williams are all professionals who give life to the material even if it proves unworthy of the effort. Fassbender is a physical specimen whose glower certainly can petrify an enemy but he’s at a loss to overcome the CGI splattered all around him in messy edits that render every frame of “Assassin’s Creed” a minor eyesore.

“Assassin’s Creed” comes from Director Justin Kurzel whose adaptation of “MacBeth,” yes that “Macbeth,” also starred Michael Fassbender and Marion Cotillard and was similarly an eyesore. At least his “MacBeth” has ambition, Kurzel’s “Assassin’s Creed,” on the other hand, feels like an attempt to appease a studio eager for a well-known product to churn into a formula franchise that creates new revenue streams and elevates stock prices.

Poor Michael Fassbender; he seems lost in a Hollywood that doesn’t understand his gifts. Despite that chin that could cut glass and eyes that could pierce steel, Fassbender isn’t a classic “movie star.” We, the popcorn chomping blockbuster masses, simply respect him as an actor too much to watch him act below his skill level. Sure, his version of the “X-Men” villain Magneto is well liked but we’d all hoped that was his “one for them” studio picture that would let him get back to being a real actor.

Instead he has stranded himself in “Assassin’s Creed” as another “one for them” movie and we are left to lament the kinds of performances he could be dedicating his time too. Quirky, wonderful indie flicks like “Frank” and “Fish Tank” gave us the Michael Fassbender we truly want while “X-Men” was supposed to be the insurance for the next “Frank” or “Fish Tank.” Now, with “Assassin’s Creed,” who knows where Fassbender may be headed, probably cruddier looking CGI claptrap. What a shame. 

Movie Review The Holiday

The Holiday (2006) 

Directed by Nancy Meyers 

Written by Nancy Meyers 

Starring Jack Black, Cameron Diaz, Jude Law, Kate Winslet

Release Date December 8th, 2006 

Published December 7th, 2006 

Director Nancy Meyers is the master of fluffy, Hollywood love stories. Her Something's Gotta Give and What Women Want are big star vehicles that indulge heavily in Hollywood glamor and fantasy romance. Her latest film, The Holiday, is her best effort yet at bringing romantic fantasy to the screen. Teaming Cameron Diaz and Jude Law, Meyers crafts a couple more photogenic than an entire J.C Penney catalog and a dream romance that audiences cannot help but eat up like movie popcorn.

Warm, buttery and oh so simple, The Holiday is the kind of light hearted and light headed fluff that is the perfect holiday escape.

In a small town just outside of London, Iris (Kate Winslet) is working through her company Christmas party when her boss makes a big announcement. The man that Iris has been seeing for nearly three years is getting engaged, but not to her. Devastated, Iris needs to get out of town before she does something awful.

Meanwhile, in Los Angeles, Amanda (Diaz) is at the end of her relationship with Ethan (Ed Burns). In the most clichéd fashion, Ethan has been sleeping with his much younger secretary. After throwing him out, and leveling him with an impressive right cross, Amanda wants out of L.A for the holidays. Luck and chance leads Amanda to a website advertising home exchange. This is where Amanda meets Iris and the two offer each other the chance to escape their sad states by switching homes.

In London, Amanda moves into Iris's cozy rural cabin and finds herself visited in the middle of the night by Graham (Jude Law), Iris' brother. Slightly drunk, Graham charms his way right into Amanda's bed as she takes a chance on some guilt free vacation sex with a good looking guy she is unlikely to ever see again. Of course, we already know that nothing could be that simple and the two are soon romancing.

Back in L.A Iris makes a match of her own but not the one you might expect. Iris's new neighbor is Arthur (Eli Wallach) an old Hollywood screenwriter who Iris befriends when he gets lost trying to find his house. Iris helps him home and is invited for dinner and an education in film classics. Jack Black does eventually show up as Miles; a more age-appropriate love interest for Iris but it is Wallach's Arthur who steals the show.

The fun of The Holiday is watching great looking actors indulge lives of frivolous excess for our amusement. Escaping into their perfect pretty lives is a fun little distraction like a cookie or a chocolate bar. Too many film critics get uptight about movies like The Holiday, or really anything directed by Nancy Meyers. For my money, movies like The Holiday are just a treat. Beautiful to look at, easy to forget and fun to catch in late night reruns when nothing else is on.

Movies don't always have to reflect reality or present some grand metaphor. Sometimes movies just have to entertain and that is what The Holiday is all about. Pure entertainment.

Glamor is an oddity in this day and age. There is an overabundance of glamor off the screen. Flashbulbs pop at movie premieres, outside nightclubs and even grocery stores in Hollywood. On the other hand, glamor on the screen is not merely absent, it's often frowned upon, especially by 'serious artists'. That is why, for my money, a movie like The Holiday is such a welcome sight. The Holiday transports audiences back to a time when glamorous stars were allowed to be glamorous stars.

Is it frivolous? Absolutely. That's part of the fun. The Holiday is a candy coated, glamor production in which the people are all unbelievably good looking, locations are lifted from picture postcards, and situations are resolved in 90 minutes with laughing, dancing and hugs. Some people find their escapist fun in hobbits or the force, others in watching Jude Law romance Cameron Diaz. Why is one more worthy than the other?

There are many movies like The Holiday and I have been quite hard on many of them. What separates The Holiday is the combination of chemistry and familiarity that Nancy Meyers specializes in. Assembling an all star cast of Hollywood luminaries, Meyers indulges in romantic fantasies that, while they aren't original by any stretch, are more appealing and better looking than most similar fantasies.

Nancy Meyers skill is in, essentially, re-gifting romantic clichés. Meyers wraps a beautiful new bow on familiar romantic stories. The key is that she does it better than other directors and with better actors. This was a skill that was highly valued back in the movie factory days of the studio system and is now frowned upon in the post-auteur era.

There is nothing remotely important about The Holiday and that is part of its charm. This is pure glamorous escapism that basks in the glow of star power and fantasy romance. I don't want every movie to be as unimportant as The Holiday. However, from time to time the kind of movie that Nancy Meyers makes is a welcome respite from gritty action, bloody horror, and even from the importance of a great drama.

Movie Review: The Sitter

The Sitter (2011) 

Directed by David Gordon Green 

Written by Brian Gatewood, Alessandro Tanaka 

Starring Jonah Hill, Sam Rockwell, Max Records, A.J Graynor, J.B Smoove 

Release Date December 9th, 2011 

Published December 10th, 2011 

Jonah Hill's comic appeal isn't much different from that of Will Ferrell; both are an acquired taste. Just as not everyone enjoys Ferrell's outlandish schtick not everyone enjoys Jonah Hill's foul-mouthed, raging-Id routine. For those who do enjoy them however, their films are a treat. Count me in as a fan of Jonah Hill and thusly someone who really loved "The Sitter."

Meet the Sitter

Noah (Hill) is a shiftless layabout with both daddy and mommy issues. That said he's not an altogether bad guy. When his put upon, far too indulgent mother (Julie Hecht) is about to lose out on chance at a night on the town Noah begrudgingly agrees to babysit for the family friends who are setting his mom up on a date.

Meet the Kids

This is, of course, a fateful choice; Noah is in for the night of all nights. First, we meet the kids. The oldest is Slater (Max Records) who's obsessed with his anxiety medication. Slater's little sister Blithe (Landry Bender) is quite a handful; she wants to be a celebrity and acts as if she may be a lost Kardashian child. And then there is Slater and Blithe's adopted brother Rodrigo (Kevin Hernandez) who's talent for destruction is a catalyst for much unexpected action in "The Sitter."

But first, it's Noah who gets the ball of bad choices rolling. Noah has been spending time with Marisa (Ari Graynor) a horrible girl who uses Noah for, shall we say, sexual favors. And tends not to return the love. When she calls Noah and promises sex in exchange for cocaine, Noah's libido overrides his good judgment and the story of "The Sitter" kicks in.

'Adventures in Babysitting'

There are a number of parallels between "The Sitter" and the 80's teen classic "Adventures in Babysitting" including a lost and damaged minivan and an escape from a black nightclub that culminates with our hero winning respect and a helpful group of new friends.

The similarities end there however as "The Sitter," directed by "Pineapple Express" auteur David Gordon Green, is a gloriously filthy movie that well earns its R-Rating. The opening moments of "The Sitter" feature oral sex and things only get better from there in terms of the exceptional lowbrow humor that is Jonah Hill's forte from "Superbad" to "Knocked Up" through "Funny People" and elsewhere.

For Fans Only

You have to be a big fan of Jonah Hill to get past the many plot contrivances and conveniences but if are a fan, there is a lot to enjoy here. Hill is a funny, sympathetic and charismatic comic whose comic sensibilities really connect with those of us who enjoy him. For those that don't enjoy Jonah Hill; there is any number of other movies out there for you; "The Sitter" is for fans only.

Movie Review: The Warrior's Way

The Warrior's Way (2010) 

Directed by Sngmoo Lee 

Written by Sngmoo Lee 

Starring Jang Dong Gun, Kate Bosworth, Geoffrey Rush, Danny Huston 

Release Date December 3rd, 2010 

Published December December 2nd, 2010 

The ‘mash-up’ is a relatively recent invention. It’s a musical invention that came to prominence on the internet in the late 90’s and early oughts and then took off with the release of DJ Danger Mouse’s crashing together of Jay Z’s Black Album with the Beatles’ White album and created a minor sensation. Since then mash ups have moved into every aspect of pop culture from music to TV to books and of course at the movies where the latest mash up involves a slamming together of slice and dice Asian cinema with the tropes of the old school American/Italian Western.

The Warrior’s Way stars Korean leading man Jang Dong Gun in his American film debut. In The Warrior’s Way, Gun plays Yang who, in prologue, is shown becoming ‘The Greatest Swordsman in the World.’ Part of this designation involves the near complete destruction of his rival clan. Only one member of his long time rivals remains, a baby. It is Yang’s task to kill this child but something stops him and instead of carrying out this final assassination; Yang goes on the lamb with the child. Taking off for America, Yang soon finds himself in a rundown western town where the gold rush boom clearly went bust.

Of the 60 or so residents of this town most are circus performers whose production crashed here and never moved on. The circus troupe is lead by Eight Ball (Tony Cox) who happens to have been a friend of a man that Yang was hoping would take him in. Sadly, Yang’s friend is long dead when he arrives leaving behind a rundown laundry business that Yang is expected to take up.

Indeed, with a push from Lynne (Kate Bosworth), Yang does take to the laundry business and soon the business of killing is replaced by the comfort of cleansing and the peace of a desert garden that Yang somehow brings to life. For a time things look ideal as Yang and the newly dubbed baby April look like they could settle in with Lynne and become a family.

Of course, we know this cannot last and things come to a deadly end with the arrival of a former Civil War soldier, The Colonel (Danny Huston). With his deadly band of former soldiers The Colonel arrives in town with revenge in mind. The last time he was here he was disfigured by a teenager whose name escaped him. That teen was Lynne.

As the conflict with The Colonel develops Yang’s former master Saddest Flute (Ti Lung) is patiently waiting for Yang to pick up his sword again and reveal his location. The sword you see cries, carrying the deathly screams of the souls it has taken. When it is unsheathed it reveals where Yang is and allows Saddest Flute and his clan to find him.

Director Sngmoo Lee sets this Asian/Western mash up in a CG universe that exists in eternal twilight. The sun seems to constantly be rising or falling, never fully up or down. The constantly purpling landscapes are dreamy and unique even as they are more noticeable than they should be.

The CGI bloodbath that ensues from frame one until the third act denouement is less impressive than the landscapes. Though Jang Dong-Gun has a strong presence he seems light on the actual physicality and is restricted to sliding and gliding while super quick edits and CGI blood spatter do the actual fighting for him.

Even less impressive is the work of Ms. Boswoth and Mr. Huston who go to extremes of their character in order to find a beat to play against this atonal computer landscape. For Ms. Bosworth it means adopting a ludicrous Western accent and tomboy clothes and for Mr. Huston it means a variation on his tired bad guy growl and a higher than usual creep factor expressed in his sexual fetish for teeth and scars. Eeewww.

I have not even mentioned Oscar winner Geofffrey Rush who plays a Western sharpshooter turned rummy. Billed as Ron though rarely referred to by name, Rush stumbles into scenes, takes over because he is clearly the most interesting actor in the scene and stumbles out to wait for the plot to make use of him again. Rush is among the elements wasted in this 40 million dollar epic of computer generated boredom. The Warrior’s Way wants to be cool; it is Cowboys vs. Ninjas, but it simply doesn’t have the goods.

A stone faced lead, bizarre supporting performances and a mindlessly pretty CGI background add up to just about nothing in The Warrior’s Way. Those who love CGI blood splatter and the implied cool of Jang Dong-Gun you may find something to like about The Warrior’s Way. Me, I’ve already forgotten The Warrior’s Way and begun pining for the next odd genre mash up: Cowboys vs. Aliens.

Movie Review The Hangover Part 2

The Hangover Part 2 (2011) 

Directed by Todd Phillips 

Written by Craig Mazan, Scot Armstrong, Todd Phillips 

Starring Bradley Cooper, Zach Galifianakis, Ed Helms, Ken Jeong, Justin Bartha, 

Release Date May 26th, 2011 

Published May 25th, 2011 

The working theory for "The Hangover Part 2" is '˜if it ain't broke, don't fix it.' The '˜it' in this case is the basic premise from the first film which is tweaked only with a location change. The characters, the jokes and even a few of the scenarios are almost exactly the same as they were in the original "The Hangover." And yet, "The Hangover Part 2" is truly as funny as or funnier than the original.

Stu's Getting Married

Stu (Ed Helms) is getting married and because his bride's (Jamie Chung) parents are from Thailand the wedding will be taking place there. Phil (Bradley Cooper) and Doug (Justin Bartha) are both coming to the wedding but Stu is not surprisingly reticent about inviting Allen (Zach Galifianakis). After all, Stu still puts napkins over his drinks since the first film, out of fear of being rufied again.

After a little pleading from Doug, Allen is invited and, no surprise, at all it happens again. The how and the why are part of the fun so I won't spoil it for you. The guys end up in Bangkok with, of all people, Chow (Ken Jeong), the gangster who the guys accidentally kidnapped in Las Vegas. This time, Chow is Allen's plus one at the wedding much to Stu's surprise.

Where's Teddy?

Among the slight changes to the original are of course the location and the missing guy. In the original they lost Doug, this time it's the bride's little brother, a 16 year old pre-med student named Teddy (Mason Lee). As in the first film our heroes have no memory of the night before and must retrace their wild night to figure out where Teddy is.

"The Hangover Part 2" is only slightly more outrageous than the first film but the few moments that go beyond the original film go well beyond. Do not go in thinking that director Todd Phillips and company have run out of ways to shock you because "The Hangover Part 2" goes places that would make "The Hangover Part 1" uncomfortable.

Paul Giamatti in, Liam Neeson out

Watch out for Paul Giamatti in a cameo as well as Mike Tyson but the much talked about Liam Neeson cameo is out. Director Todd Phillips has a funny cameo but you likely wouldn't recognize him, few people actually know what directors look like unless their name is Speilberg or Hitchcock. Nevertheless, Phillips is an over the top natural.

"The Hangover Part 2" rehashes just about every scenario from the first film, including seeing far too much of Ken Jeong sans clothes, and throws in a monkey for good measure. Zach Galfianakis once again steals scene after scene with his sweet, naive maniac act. Galifianakis plays the role of Alan so well that just a tilt of his head is enough to get a big laugh.

It's not for the faint of heart and definitely not for kids'"really, movie theaters shouldn't be allowed to show Hangover Part 2 in the same building as Kung Fu Panda 2, just to be safe--but I do recommend "The Hangover Part 2" for some very big, very outrageous laughs and a good deal of nostalgia left over from the first film.

Movie Review The Happening

The Happening (2008) 

Directed by M. Night Shyamalan

Written by M. Night Shyamalan

Starring Mark Wahlberg, Zoey Deschanel, John Leguizamo

Release Date July 13th, 2008

Published July 12, 2008 

M. Night Shyamalan's The Happening is awful in the most unique and spectacular way. It leaves me with this strange excitement and curiosity, the kind usually inspired by a really good movie. For instance, when I saw I'm Not There, the Bob Dylan bio, I was so excited I wanted to know more about Dylan, read his books, interviews and especially, I wanted to hear his music.

With The Happening I feel quite similar. I am devouring interviews with Shyamalan and the opinions of fellow critics who seem thus far not to grasp the enormity of the spectacular awfulness of The Happening. I am desperately searching for a clue as to whether M. Night Shyamalan is an elaborate genius who has fooled us all with not a movie but a prank. Or is The Happening really intended as a supernatural horror film in the tradition of the B-Movie feature. Is this blinding mess of a movie a real attempt on his part or the most elaborate punking in history. Is M. Night Shyamalan the next Andy Kaufman or the next Coleman Francis?

The Happening would be the ultimate meta-parody if Shyamalan did indeed intend to make us laugh. However, I think he meant to do this. I think he intended to make this movie and believed it to be frightening, suspenseful and well acted. If that is the case. then what I witnessed is the ultimate career self immolation in history. The thing about self immolation for me. I don't get it. But I do admire the commitment it so obviously requires. The dedication to a cause so obviously lost is, at the very least, impressive.

By now I should have delved into the plot and given you some impression of what the movie is about, the action that is taking place. I can't bring myself to do that here because really there isn't a plot. There is some stuff that happens; but no real thesis statement or rallying cry. Those who choose the path of least resistance and take the film at face value will tell you it is an environmental fable. Trees release toxins causing humans to line up and kill themselves in grizzly fashion. That is an easy description but the truly keen observer will note that no one really knows what is happening in The Happening.

Those who choose the path of least resistance and take the film at face value will tell you it is an environmental fable. Trees release toxins causing humans to line up and kill themselves in grizzly fashion. That is an easy description but the truly keen observer will note that no one ever actually reasons what is happening in The Happening. So coy is Shyamalan about the hidden evil of his horror epic that you never really know what or if indeed anything is Happening? Trees or terrorists? The CIA? George freaking Bush? Who knows. Shyamalan, doesn't seem to know and from the lackadaisical approach to plot and character, he doesn't seem to really care.

Who does care? Mark Wahlberg seems to. The star of The Happening is committed to this mess and sacrifices dignity and career to satisfy whatever he thinks is Shyamalan's vision. It's an astonishing performance of earnest honesty and blind commitment. To what? He has no idea. Wahlberg I'm sure was hoping Shyamalan would bring it all together in the editing room. Remember, this guy survived the chaos of David O. Russell in I Heart Huckabees. He's used to weirdo directors and scripts that seem to have a mind of their own beyond his character.

Unfortunately for Wahlberg, where Russell did indeed have a point of view to satisfy with his chaotic approach, Shyamalan either betrayed him with this practical joke or had no such perspective at all. Poor Zooey Deschanel comes off even more dazed than Wahlberg. Not only is she lost and confused by the material, Deschanel brings a level of sitcom kitsch to her performance that leaves her looking as if she wandered into the wrong movie. Certain scenes, like avoiding the call of an unwanted admirer or her potential pregnancy seem like takes for her Dharma & Greg audition in some alternative universe.

John Leguizamo is at least left with his dignity as his character checks out early enough to avoid the stench, the same cannot be said for journeyman character actor Frank Collison whose tandem monologues about hot dogs and plants will have even diehard Mystery Science Theater fans hitting the eject button. So folks, there you have it. Is M. Night Shyamalan the living legacy of the great comic genius Andy Kaufman? Is The Happening his equivalent of Kaufman reading the Great Gatsby until the audience simply became irritated and walked out?

Or is Shyamalan really a modern day Coleman Francis who got lucky a couple times at the box office but in reality is a guy who should be making movies in his basement with friends and cronies from some small town movie fiefdom. Does he live in that Ed Wood like cocoon of sycophants and well wishers who allowed Wood to go on for years without acknowledging his utter ineptitude? Unfortunately dear reader, you will have to see The Happening in order to form an opinion on that. The simple answer is the cocoon of sycophants. The more intriguing and satisfying choice is the practical joke. I believe the first answer, I long for the second.

Movie Review: Valkyrie

Valkyrie (2008) 

Directed by Bryan Singer 

Written by Christopher McQuarrie, Nathan Alexander 

Starring Tom Cruise, Kenneth Branagh, Bill Nighy, Tom Wilkinson, Terence Stamp

Release Date December 25th, 2008 

Published December 24th, 2008 

Why? Why did Bryan Singer, Christopher McQuarrie and Tom Cruise attempt to turn Valkyrie, the story of a failed attempt to kill Hitler in 1944, into a suspense thriller? As stated in my brief description, it's a FAILED attempt to kill Hitler. Anyone who thinks that is a spoiler needs a history class and not a trip to the movies. The choice to frame the story of German hero Claus Von Stauffenberg as a thriller is a damning choice that dooms Valkyrie from beginning to end.

Tom Cruise essays the role of Klaus Von Stauffenberg as a man who was already disillusioned with Hitler's Germany before he was approached about killing the Fuhrer. Having been sent to North Africa to fight on a losing front of Hitler's war expansion, Stauffenberg urged a higher ranking official to contravene orders and get the soldiers out of Africa.

Before he can give the order the higher ranking officer is killed and Stauffenberg is badly wounded. He lost his right eye and right hand in the attack and was returned to Berlin. There he is approached by Major-General Tresckow about joining a group of Generals and politicians who want to overthrow Hitler.

They think they can get the job done politically. Stauffenberg however, has a more permanent idea. He and others advocate the idea that Hitler must die if there is to be change in Germany. And, he even has a political plan as a backup. It's called operation Valkyrie and if executed perfectly it could allow for an orderly change of power once Hitler is dead.

We know going in that Stauffenberg was executed for attempting to kill Hitler with a bomb at the Fuhrer's Wolf's Lair hideout. The complicated plot was ingenious and the resistance lead by Stauffenberg has been deified by those in Germany desperate for the rest of the world to know that not all Germans followed in lockstep with the evil dictator.

There is more than enough drama in the ideas behind Stauffenberg and company's plot to make an interesting, historic epic. Unfortunately, the path chosen by those involved in the movie Valkyrie is to make a thriller based on the timing and execution of the Valkyrie plot, the one we already know fails. Worse yet, the failure is a piece of forced dramatics involving the weak will of one of the conspirators. 

How much of what we see is history and what is fiction is unknown but what is onscreen fails to be thrilling, suspenseful or even modestly compelling. I am one of the rare few admitted big fans of Tom Cruise. It has become quite fashionable to despise the former biggest star on the planet. I do not subscribe to that fashion. I think Cruise is one of the most charismatic and compelling leading men in Hollywood history.

That makes Valkyrie all the harder for me to watch. To play the Teutonic Stauffenberg Cruise dials down his most compelling aspect. He drowns his charismatic persona in a pool of dense concentration and the tightest sphincter this side of Nurse Ratchet. Generally, Cruise does uptight better than anyone. However, the schtick as in Jerry Maguire or Vanilla Sky is going from being uptight to allowing himself to lose control and go with the flow. Valkyrie calls for Cruise to be intense and stay that way and quickly that becomes stifling.

With his charisma dialed back Cruise's intensity becomes a serene mask of seriousness that just isn't suitable to him. It's the kind of ferocious inner fire that an actor like Joaquin Phoenix exudes with every breath. Cruise is more effective when he mixes aggravation with charm. Stauffenberg as written is charmless and Cruise is ill-suited.

Bryan Singer is too good a director for the film to fail in craftsmanship and there is nothing wrong with the construction of Valkyrie. Where the film fails is in the choice of trying to make it a suspense thriller. It's a simple question - how can you have suspense and thrills when you already know how everything turns out.

As Stauffenberg races from the Wolf's Lair thinking he has killed Hitler we aren't breathing heavy as he is because we know he failed. The scene is tragic but only in our minds. It's as if Singer and McQuarrie don't know it's tragic. To pretend that the outcome isn't known is an act of foolishness that undermines the tragedy and drama of the Stauffenberg plot.