Movie Review Firenado

Firenado (2022) 

Directed by Rhys Frake Waterfield, Scott Jeffrey 

Written by Tom Joliffe 

Starring Sian Altman, Nicola Wright, Stephen Staley

Release Date January 3rd, 2023 

Published December 29th, 2022 

Firenado is as dopey and low rent as that title indicates. It's also kind of fun, as that title implies. The story goes that a group of weather scientists figured out a new way to study tornados with the ultimate goal of controlling a tornado. Finding a tornado in a remote area, the group lets loose their technology only to accidentally grow the tornado beyond their control. Naturally, because the movie is called Firenardo, the out of control and over-powered tornado passes over the top of a gas station. 

While pressing the boundaries of credibility, the gas pumps light the tornado on fire and the tornado grows further out of control. Our group of scientists, including Anna (Sian Altman), a student learning about meteorology, Helena (Nicola Wright) an assistant to the professor in charge of the experiment, Professor Devlin (Toby Wynn Davies). There is another guy there too, but he doesn't matter much. He's a brief comic relief character who is offed quickly amid the early destruction of the tornado. 

There is a secondary plot in Firenado because apparently stopping a tornado that is on fire is not enough for one movie. Thus, we get a heist plot. A group of criminal's plans to enact a heist in the midst of the storm. Unaware that the tornado they are planning to use for cover has become a firenado, the criminals attack a safe house where an accountant, Pierce Moore (Daniel Godfrey), is hiding out with millions of dollars. 

Somehow, the scientists are also on their way to this safe house. The scientists are working their way across the countryside warning people to run from the Firenado with minimal success. They happen to arrive at the safe house just as the criminals do and a shootout ensues, somehow, until the firenado catches up. Then we get a chase scene and another multi-million dollar safe house and a burgeoning romance between Pierce and Anna and it's... a lot. It's a lot. 

You might be surprised to know that a fire tornado, or Firenado, is a real thing. Not the way it happens in this movie, obviously, but they do happen. It's rare but, most often they occur related to atmospheric conditions surrounding forest fires. There is little, really no chance that a tornado hitting a gas station will lead to a 'Firenado,' as happens in this movie. That said, of course, this movie is not based on any real danger. Instead, Firenado is a very silly B-movie looking to capitalize on the already dated trend of placing odd things inside of Tornados like Sharks, Ghosts, Dinosaurs, and Cars. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review Armageddon Time

Armageddon Time (2002) 

Directed by James Gray 

Written by James Gray 

Starring Anthony Hopkins, Anne Hathaway, Jeremy Strong 

Release Date November 4th, 2022 

Published November 10th, 2022 

Armageddon Time  stars Michael Banks Repeta as Paul, a young man in 1980 New York City attending public school. Paul comes from a Jewish background but his family has hidden that behind the name Graf. At school, Paul is unremarkable, a minor rebel who mocks his teacher. He finds a friend in Johnny (Jaylin Webb), a fellow outcast, a young black kid whose been held back at least once. Johnny is in trouble a lot, mostly because his teacher just assumes Johnny is the one causing trouble. 

At home, Paul has a loving, if somewhat angry family. Paul has somehow convinced himself that his family is rich though we can clearly see that there are middle class at best. Regardless, Paul takes liberties with his parents, especially by ordering take out even after his mother, Anne Hathaway, has cooked an expansive dinner for their entire family. His father, played by Jeremy Strong, is loving but can be overbearing and outright abusive. 

That abusive side comes out when Paul finds trouble at school. With Johnny, Paul is caught smoking marijuana in the school bathroom. Paul's father finds out and give his son a frightening beating with a belt in a scene that director James Gray is smart not to romanticize. Many of Gray's generation, my generation, as well, tend to act as if a father who beat their kids was a 'disciplinarian' and not an abuser. Gray and Jeremy Strong give the father character in Armageddon Time a more complex rendering as a man who loves his kids but also feels at a loss at how to care for them. It's clear he was also beaten as a child and he sees it as the only way forward as a parent. 

Paul gets pulled out of his public school and placed in a rich private school with the help of his benevolent and loving grandfather, played by Anthony Hopkins. At this rich private school Paul runs in the same circle as the sons of the Trump family. When they see Paul talking with Johnny at the gates of the school, their sneering racism causes Paul to pull away from his friend. At the urging of his grandfather, Paul tries to repair his friendship but his plan to do so only causes more problems. 

At his new school, the line between white and black, the privileged and the less than privileged, is brought into stark contrast when Maryanne Trump (Jessica Chastain in cameo), visits the school and delivers a speech. The speech is like a message directly to Paul, and thus to us, about where you stand and who you stand for. Will you be part of the future she proposes led by the rich elite, or stand with those in need of help. 

I think... honestly, I am not entirely sure what James Gray is going for overall. There are elements of class warfare, and something being said about white-privilege and the racial divide. That said, what point James Grey is trying to make is undermined by his storytelling choices. The lasting memory of Armageddon Time is that of a young black kid acting as a functionary in the coming of age of a young white kid. The young black kid has no life, no dimension, he exists to teach a lesson to our main character. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media. 

Classic Movie Review The Adventures of Baron Munchausen

The Adventures of Baron Munchausen (1989)

Directed by Terry Gilliam 

Written by Charles McKeown, Terry Gilliam 

Starring John Neville, Sarah Polley, Eric Idle, Robin Williams 

Release Date March 10th, 1989 

Published January 3rd, 2023 

Terry Gilliam's delirious, chaotic, and fantastic, The Adventures of Baron Munchausen, is now part of the Criterion Collection. Released in 1989, this wildly over the top, sensory overload inducing film remains, 34 years after release, as alive and full of imagination as ever. Even as special effects and cinematography have evolved past the somewhat aged looking Munchausen, Gilliam's dedication to practical effects gives his masterpiece a timeless look. 

The story of The Adventures of Baron Munchausen begins on the stage where an acting troupe is acting out the supposedly fictitious adventures of Baron Munchausen. The story kicks into gear when the real Baron Munchausen (John Neville), charges the stage and demands to be allowed to tell the story of his adventures correctly. Thus, the Baron launches into a fantastical story about his conflict with the Grand Turk, one that began with a reasonable wager and ended with the Baron and his men leaving with all of the wealth of the empire. 

The Baron's remarkable and vivid tale is interrupted when that same Grand Turk and his army begin to bombard the English city where this tale had been told. Caught off guard, it appears that the English are to be overrun by the Turks until the Baron makes a big movie, creates for himself an airship on which he will fly across the galaxy to gather his servants to help fight the Turks. Stowing away on the Baron's airship is Sally Salt (Sarah Polley), a plucky youngster who is one of the few who believes that the Baron's fantasies are real. 

And boy are they real as, indeed, the Baron takes Sally to the Moon where The King of the Moon (Robin Williams), imprisons them. There they are able to recover The Baron's top assistant, played by Eric Idle. Naturally, there is an amazing escape that leads to another remarkable adventure that includes a brief bit of romance wherein The Baron is smitten with the wife of a dangerous bandit king. Uma Thurman is luminous as the Queen while the inimitable Oliver Reed chews the very large and practically crafted sets. 

The Adventures of Baron Munchausen is a wildly imaginative masterwork. It's pure chaos but in the best possible way. The flights of fantasy and the visual delights never rest while the extraordinary cast provides even more color with big, broad, and hilarious performances. Star John Neville grounds the story with elegant dignity and roguish charm, while Sarah Polley never succumbs to the cliches of a plucky child sidekick. Her Sally is an urgent part of the plot as she plays the part of the Baron's conscience. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media. 

Movie Review Human Resources

Human Resources (2022) 

Directed by Braden Swope 

Written by Braden Swope, Evan Swope 

Starring Hugh McCrae Jr, Anthony Candell, Sara Jose, Tim Masuradze 

Release Date January 10th, 2023 

Published January 3rd, 2023 

Human Resources opens on a terrific piece of visual filmmaking. With a very low budget, director Evan Swope knows that he needs to set the tone for his movie without the bells and whistles of a big production. So, he relies on the most basic components of good filmmaking: sound design and camera work. We open inside Brooke's Hardware Store. An eerie breeze blows through the store creating an innate sense of dread. A worried yet determined employee walks into a room that is marked with signs telling him not to enter. 

Keith, the employee, goes ahead and enters. Inside, he begins to call out for someone or something. He's here to confront whatever entity has created this sense of dread at his place of work. Through a terrific sequence of camera movements, strong and fast editing choices, and tremendous sound design, we watch Keith search for, and, unfortunately, find something that ends up getting him killed. Barely a word of dialogue is spoken and yet, in less than four minutes, the premise of Human Resources is established. This business harbors a dark secret that will be uncovered as the movie plays out. 

Cut to daytime, a new employee is needed at Brooke's Hardware. The General Manager, Brian (Tim Masurdze, tells his store manager, Gene (Anthony Candell), to hire Sam Coleman (Hugh McCrae Jr). Though Sam has little work experience, and a less than impressive resume, Gene agrees, and Sam is brought on board. Once at his new place of work, Sam is trained by Sarah (Sarah Jose), a cynical, long-time employee of Brooke's Hardware who advises Sam not to let working this dead end job become his whole life. 

Together, Sam and Sarah stumble over the mystery of Keith, our opening kill victim. Keith had begun to document the creepy, odd and frightening goings on at Brooke's Hardware. Employees prior to Keith had been going missing. The store was always strangely empty, except on Black Friday when the story would be overrun with customers. Brian and Gene are very serious about Black Friday and how it keeps the entire store afloat for the whole year. If that sounds suspicious, it's intended to be. In the clever script by director Braden Swope and his brother, Ethan Swope, the suspicious elements are all cleverly employed. 

Bubbling under the surface of Human Resources is how our modern economy calls on low wage employees to dedicate themselves to work. Gene talks about culture and teamwork and builds up working a Brooke's Hardware as a calling as much as it is a job. Meanwhile, employees are paid a pittance for their time while being expected to work hard and over-deliver on their effort. Work hard for nothing in return because work itself is somehow a reward. Ugh! Human Resources takes this idea and rightly turns it into a premise for a horror movie. 

I really adored the direction of Human Resources. The smart choices, the limited exposition, it's a welcome breath of fresh air. Little dialogue is wasted in telling us the plot. Instead, the basics of filmmaking deliver important details visually. The characters interact as human beings who know and work together would, not as movie characters who must also explain to the audience what the plot is and what we should be aware of. The direction tells us far more than the script and that's the mark of good filmmaking and smart writing. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media 

Movie Review Last Resort

Last Resort (2023) 

Directed by Jean Marc Mineo 

Written by Jean Marc Mineo 

Starring Jonathan Patrick Foo, Clayton Norcross, Alex Santi 

Release Date January 6th, 2023 

Published January 2nd, 2023 

Last Resort is not going to be mistaken for a good movie. That said, as a throwback to the kind of terrible movie that was prominent in the 1980s, a bloody, B-movie action flick, Last Resort has a particular charm to it. Jonathan Patrick Foo as Michael, a mercenary living in Thailand and on the brink of divorce from his put-upon wife. We don't know he's a mercenary when we first meet him, only that he lays on the couch watching cartoons all day. 

We will learn that Michael was a particularly vicious mercenary when his wife and daughter end up part of a hostage situation inside of a bank. Michael's mercenary mentor, Cooper (Clayton Norcross), happens to be the leader of this particular group of bank robbers/terrorists. He's after some kind of deadly MacGuffin that is held inside the bank for reasons that are left unclear. Of course, it doesn't matter why the thing the bad guy's need is in this bank, the point is to get Michael to the bank to kill the bad guys. 

Michael arrives and after briefly being detained by the dumbest cops, he gets himself inside the bank and starts to the killing of faceless minions. These scenes are brutally violent with bloody, bone-cracking, battles that play exactly like an 80s B-movie. The budget is low, but the sound design and fight choreography are superb in giving the fight scenes a great deal of energy and fun. The physicality and staging even manages to become suspenseful at times, not that the fate of the main character is ever in question. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

 

Movie Review The Pale Blue Eye

The Pale Blue Eye (2022) 

Directed by Scott Cooper

Written by Scott Cooper 

Starring Christian Bale, Harry Melling, Gillian Anderson, Lucy Boynton, Robert Duvall 

Release Date December 23rd, 2022 

Netflix Release Date January 6th, 2022 

Pale Blue Eye stars Christian Bale as Detective Augustus Landor. Detective Landor lives in upstate New York, not far from the famed campus of the West Point Military Academy. It's 1830 and as we join the story, Detective Landor has received guests at his cottage. The visitor is Captain Hitchcock (Simon McBurney) and he has distressing news. There has been a murder on the campus and the leadership at West Point, headed up by Superintendent Player (Tim Spall) wishes to hire Landor to investigate. 

At the scene of the crime a West Point cadet is hanging from a tree. One might assume a suicide but one important detail removes that possibility. The young victims heart has been cut from his chest. Stranger still, a young cadet who found the body claimed that the body had been hanging there when he arrived but the victim's heart hadn't yet been removed. Landor accepts the job of investigating the death and sets to work with minor aid from a West Point physician, Dr. Daniel Marquis (Toby Jones) who performs a perfunctory autopsy. 

The case takes a strange detour when Landor meets an odd young cadet named E.A Poe, Edgar Allan Poe (Harry Melling). The awkward and melancholy Poe has a theory that the murderer must be a poet as the cutting out of the heart could only be symbolic. Landor is dubious about Poe's theory but keeps the young man around, hiring him as a junior investigator. It will be Poe's task to do the investigating that Landor cannot do himself, get close to the cadets who knew the victim, and report back to Landor. 

This leads to a surprising supernatural connection to the death that brings Landor in contact with an old friend. An almost unrecognizable Robert Duvall plays Jean-Pepe, a Professor with a taste for the supernatural and the macabre. He theorizes that the taking of the heart and an occult symbol found in a barn near the murder may indicate a ritual killing, an attempt by someone to communicate with the dead via a sacrifice and a human heart. 

Meanwhile, Poe begins to fall in love. Lucy Boynton stars as Lea, the daughter of Dr. Marquis, and Dr Marquis's imperious wife, Julia (Gillian Anderson). Lea has a disease that is slowly killing her but that doesn't stop Poe from falling deeply in love with her. This came as he investigated Dr. Marquis' son, Artemus (Harry Lawley) who appears to have connections to the supernatural. The Marquis Family, Poe and Detective Landor are all at the center of the mystery at the heart of Pale Blue Eye. 

Pale Blue Eye is not based on a real story. Rather, it's based on a legend that Edgar Allen Poe helped to spread around the time he began his famed writing career. It's a story that Writer-Director Scott Cooper has been eager to tell since he broke through with his debut feature, Crazy Heart. You can sense the care Cooper is taking to tell this story and he is a skilled storyteller. That said, Pale Blue Eye doesn't quite live up to Cooper's passionate presentation. 

The film is absorbing and the mystery is quite intriguing. That said, the final act of Pale Blue Eye goes just a step too far. A bizarre twist unfolds that makes you look back at the rest of the movie with confusion. Character decisions that seemed logical earlier in the story become weirdly questionable after the twist is revealed and since the twist isn't satisfying enough on its own  to justify all that it corrupts in the rest of the telling of the story. 

Christian Bale cuts a strong figure as Detective Landor. His chemistry with Harry Melling's Poe is the strongest aspect of Pale Blue Eye. The amused way Landor takes in the oddball Poe is quite entertaining and Melling's broad theatrical performance bounces wonderfully off of Bale's more naturalistic performance. Melling might be overly broad if not for the way Bale's Landor grounds him and makes him appear more human, drawing him out from his theatricality toward more genuine, honest moments. t's a good dynamic. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review Candy land

Candy Land (2023) 

Directed by John Swab 

Written by John Swab

Starring Olivia Luccardi, William Baldwin, Sam Quartin, Owen Campbell, Eden Brolin

Release date January 6th, 2023 

Published January 2nd, 2023 

Candy Land is a nasty, gritty, sexy horror movie about sex workers at a southern truck stop who meet a young woman named Remy (Olivia Luccardi), after she has either escaped from or been turned away from the religious cult she was with. Taking her in, they become her friends and, eventually, they initiate her into sex work. Little do they know that Remy is more dangerous than she looks. The mousy former cult member carries with her a cross with a deep dark secret related to her past and the cult from which she's supposedly escaped. 

Among our characters is Sadie (Sam Quartin), Sadies' girlfriend, Liv (Virginia Rand), Riley (Eden Brolin) and Levi (Owen Campbell), a gay for pay sex worker. Helping the younger women with a place to stay and frequent customers is Nora (Guinivere Turner), a relatively kindhearted version of a pimp. Rounding out the cast is Sheriff Rex (William Baldwin) who looks the other way as the sex workers ply their trade. In exchange, he spends time with Levi whom he has become deeply enamored. 

Once Remy becomes part of their crew people start dying. First is a random John who is found in the men's room with an eye cut out and his arms posed over his chest. Soon after, another customer, a trucker is killed. And then we get to the main cast, one of whom finds Remy cleaning her knife in the ladies room. Remy kills them to keep her murders quiet and then kills another random woman who comes in and that murder provides her with a cover story, this rando killed our friend, by Remy's estimation

Read my full length review at Horror.Media