Classic Movie Review 8 Seconds

8 Seconds (1994) 

Directed by John G. Avildsen

Written by Monte Merrick

Starring Luke Perry, Stephen Baldwin, Cynthia Geary, James Rebhorn

Release Date February 25th, 1994 

Published February 27th, 2024 

8 Seconds is a painfully boring film. The mostly true story of famed bull rider, Lane Frost, played by Luke Perry, 8 Seconds is a by the numbers sports movie with all the innovation and excitement of a damp rag. Bull Riding is a sport, of sorts. It takes a great deal of dedication and very strong hands. It also requires the bull to be basically tortured. Controversial opinion, if your sport requires an opponent that doesn't want to be your opponent, to the point where they may kill just to get you to leave them be, it's not really a competition, it's animal cruelty with judges, points, and a time. 

So, yeah, I wasn't really the audience for a schmaltzy, dizzying, dimwitted movie like 8 Seconds. Lane Frost died tragically young and, as demonstrated in 8 Seconds, his accomplishments were relatively limited. He was a multiple time champion of his sport and was kind to children. Lovely qualities that are at odd with the moody, broody, young man who could turn on a dime and be cruel to his loyal and loving wife, Kellie (Cynthia Geary), who takes the brunt of Lane's unpredictable mood swings, often related to his anger toward his father, Clyde, a man who cannot tell his son that he loves him. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review Dune 2

Dune 2 (2024) 

Directed by Denis Villeneuve 

Written by Denis Villeneuve, Jon Spaihts 

Starring Timothee Chalamet, Zendaya, Austin Butler, Rebecca Ferguson, Javier Bardem, Dave Bautista

Release Date March 1st, 2024 

Published March 4th, 2024 

Dune 2 is the epic and awesome follow-up to the triumphant 2021 extravaganza that manages to top the spectacle of the first while never losing sight of the characters at the heart of both films. The scope, the scale, the spectacular action and special effects, all come together to make Dune 2 a film experience not to miss. Co-written and directed by Denis Villeneuve, Dune 2 demonstrates what can happen when a visionary filmmaker is given the resources and the time to explore their vision and realize that vision in full. It's a staggering work. 

Dune 2 picks up the story of the first Dune by fully revealing the conspiracy at hand. Not only was House Atreides attacked by House Harkonnen, the attack came at the best of the Emperor of the known universe, Shaddam IV (Christopher Walken). The Emperor believed that Duke Leto Atreides (Oscar Isaac, from Dune 1), was becoming a threat to his rule so he secretly supported and influenced House Harkonnen to take over the spice trade and destroy House Atreides. 

Unfortunately for the Emperor, the Harkonnen's failed to finish off House Atreides. Rumors are spreading fast regarding a leader having emerged among the Fremen, a warrior that many see as a possible messiah. The rumor goes further in stating that this supposed messiah is Paul Atreides, son of Leto and Lady Jessica (Rebecca Ferguson). Having been taken in by the Fremen, Paul and Lady Jessica have become members of the Fremen people with Paul taking on the name Paul Muad'Dib, and Lady Jessica accepting the role of the Reverend Mother of the Fremen, a challenge to her Bene Gesserit elder, played in both films by Charlotte Rampling. 

As the story picks up, Paul's place among the Fremen is assured just as his romance with Chani (Zendaya) is taking hold. The relationship between Paul and Chani is at the heart of Dune 2 as the script sets up a natural and heartbreaking conflict between the two, Chani's defiance over the idea of Paul as this messiah like figure and Paul's having to accept the role of messiah if he is to gain revenge against the Harkonnen's and the Emperor while securing the safety of the Fremen amid the growing conflict. This conflict between the freedom of the soul versus the notion of God's will is a terrific conflict and Chalamet and Zendaya make you feel every inch of that conflict in their dueling performances. 

Read my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Documentary Review Plastic People

Plastic People (2024) 

Directed by Ben Addelman, Ziya Tong

Written by Ben Addelman

Starring Ziya Tong 

Release Date March 9th, 2024

We are no longer Homo-Sapiens, we've evolved, we're now Homo-Plasticus. That's not my observation, that is the observation of scientist and doctor Sedat Gundogdu. Dr. Gundogdu has been tracking microplastics around the globe from his home in Turkey. As hard as it can be to wrap your head around it, the plastics that we encounter everyday are never going away. They have to go somewhere and in scientific test after test, so-called Microplastics are being found in the last place you'd think to look or even be able to look, your own body. 

The documentary Plastic People, debuting at the SXSW Film Festival on March 9th, is halting, breathtaking and frightening warning and call to action. The documentary lays out the case that we desperately need to cut back on our reliance on plastic or risk a continuously worsening health crisis. Microplastics can cause cancer, developmental delays in children, and any other number of ailments and if we keep unknowingly ingesting these tiny pieces of plastic, we have no idea what even greater harm might befall humanity in the future. 

Plastic People unfolds a serious of smaller stories that feeds into a larger story about how and why microplastics have been making their way into the human body. One such sequence follows the co-director of Plastic People, Ziya Tong using her own body to prove the growing issue of microplastics in the human body. Tong undergoes a blood test and a test of her feces and each return results that show particles of microplastic in her body. Researchers have been seeking people to test for microplastics and even when testing people who aren't making a documentary about microplastics, the results were the same. 

Find my full length review at Earth.Media 

Documentary Review Dickweed

Dickweed (2024) 

Directed by Jonathan Ignatius Green 

Written by Jonathan Ignatius Green 

Starring Emily Pokora, Ronald Douglass, Greg Kriek, Rizzy Fuentes 

Release Date March 9th, 2024 at SXSW Film Festival 

Published March 9th, 2024 

Dickweed is a rollercoaster of a true crime story that starts right at the biggest drop and keeps the twists and turns coming at a neck snapping pace. It's a jarring, fascinating and jaw dropping story that keeps you guessing from start to finish. And, it comes with the pleasure of knowing that no one died. Yeah, this is a true crime story in which there are no dead people. A crime is committed, it's a terrifying and life altering crime, but there is no death and that makes it all the more riveting as we are introduced to a villain with the dangerous aura of a killer, minus the actual body count. 

In 2012, a weed dealer named Mike was chilling on his couch, dozing off. His girlfriend is asleep in the bedroom. Suddenly, without any warning, Mike is awakened by a flashlight attached to a shotgun. He's beaten and bound. His girlfriend is bound and gagged. Both Mike and his girlfriend are bundled into a van by three masked men. On the way to being driven into the desert, Mike is interrogated about where the million dollars is. Mike, genuinely doesn't know what they are talking about. The three men are operating on the belief that Mike has a million dollars buried in the desert. Mike does not have any money buried in any desert. 

This fact doesn't stop the masked men from beating Mike relentlessly while threatening harm toward his girlfriend. The two are then dumped in the desert and, seemingly having realized that Mike is telling the truth, they decide to leave them in the desert to fend for themselves. Oh, but there is one more horrifying detail. It's the reason for the title of this movie. An injury is inflicted upon Mike that threatens to end his life. If not for the quick thinking and the effort of his girlfriend, Dickweed would have a body count. Thankfully, she was able to get help in time. Though, what happened with Mike's horrific injury, you will need to see the documentary to find out. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media linked here. 

Movie Review Float

Float (2024) 

Directed by Sherren Lee 

Written by Jesse LaVercombe, Sherren Lee

Starring Andrea Bang, Robbie Amell, Michelle Krusiec 

Release Date February 9th, 2024 

Published March 18th, 2024 

Float stars Andrea Bang as Waverly, a woman living a lie. She's told her parents that she has gone to Vancouver for an important doctoral apprenticeship that will move her along in her career. In reality, Waverly has gone to Oregon to stay with her artist aunt, Rachel (Michelle Krusiec), while she tries to figure out who she is and what she wants. It's while lying to her parents and having a minor existential crisis that Waverly meets Blake, a handsome local man who raises chickens and cares for his teenage sister. Blake is Rachel's neighbor which is how Waverly knows about his gentle way with chickens. 

Blake is also a lifeguard and when he learns that Waverly doesn't even know how to float, let alone swim, he offers to teach her. It's a blatant attempt to get to spend time alone with her and Waverly is definitely on that wavelength. That said, this is a Nicholas Sparks-esque romance so the two lovers cannot have a clear path to happiness. We already know about Waverly's lies but we will come to learn about Blake's flaws and what has kept him in this small town and generally out of long term relationships. It's a lot of sticky emotions about his late parents and his little sister and somehow it all may prevent him from being with Waverly. 

Red my full length review at Geeks.Media linked here. 

Movie Review Street Fighter The Legend of Chun Li

Street Fighter The Legend of Chun Li (2009) 

Directed by Andrzej Bartkowiak 

Written by Justin Marks 

Starring Kristin Kreuk, Chris Klein, Neil McDonough, Robin Shou, Michael Clark Duncan

Release Date February 27th, 2009. 

Published February 28th, 2009.

Well, we’ve all seen career meltdowns off screen but how about witnessing a meltdown on screen? Chris Klein, best known for American Pie and Election does just that in Street Fighter Legend of Chun Li. As an Interpol agent, Klein delivers a performance of such goofball determination that his mere presence invites a giggle fit. 

Klein combines vocal affectation and exaggerated gesture to evoke something akin to a soap opera actor crossed with a community theater wannabe on top of the jocky persona that has been his calling card in his biggest role. You’ll recall he played the meathead jock with a big heart in election and the meathead jock who goes soft in American Pie. 

In Street Fighter he’s still a meathead but now a meathead with dramatic flair and an action heroes' sense of flair. Were there still a Mystery Science Theater this performance could go down in history as one of the great unintentionally hilarious roles in movie history. 

As for the rest of Street Fighter, villain Neal McDonough, one of those character actors whose name escapes you but his face you’ve a few hundred times, earns a few of the same derisive laughs that Klein does. For McDonough it’s a bizarre accent, part Irish part Cantonese? Vietnamese? Something with an eastern flair that just doesn’t jive with the Irish brogue. 

Michael Clarke Duncan is a long way away from the days when he was Oscar nominated for The Green Mile. He has become the go to beefy guy for beating people up. I can’t really say if there was another way for his career to play out but being an on-screen thug, the rest of his life doesn’t seem like the ideal career unless getting paid is your only motivation. I hope it was a really, really good paycheck. 

And finally star Kristen Kreuk. I am not a regular viewer of TV’s Smallville, but I’m told it’s a well-acted, complex superhero story and Kreuk’s Lana Lang is integral to the plot. She’s been in every episode. She likely wishes she had stayed in Smallville. Street Fighter may have given her; her very first leading role but the movie makes her look like a 12-year-old girl on steroids. The hair and makeup choices really truly make her look far younger than her 26 years. She makes Dakota Fanning look like Liz Taylor. 

That’s not a complement. The character is supposed to be in her mid-twenties. The look is distracting and unfortunate. 

As for the plot, hey, if director Andrzej Bartkowiak doesn’t care about the plot, why should we? Check out that final act and tell me what the bad guy's motive is? It’s a futile search because the script doesn’t supply one. It’s not really needed because the final act is really about fight choreography and some of the dopiest looking low budget effects this side of 1984’s The Last Dragon. At least that movie had a cool soundtrack. 

Eddie Murphy's Biggest Movie Mistakes

Originally Published in November 2011 to accompany the release of the long forgotten comedy, Tower Heist. 

Eddie Murphy returns to theaters on Friday, November 4, in the comedy "Tower Heist," co-starring Ben Stiller and directed by "Rush Hour" director Brett Ratner. "Tower Heist" looks a like a potential hit given the heavy promotion the film is getting from Universal Pictures. If "Tower Heist" does become a hit it will be remembered as a good decision by an actor who has a history of making very bad decisions. Here's a look back at some of Eddie Murphy's biggest career blunders.

"Imagine That"

In "Imagine That" Murphy delivers a dull family movie about a father bonding with his daughter after he discovers that her imaginary friends can help him predict the stock market. "Imagine That" failed with critics and at the box office, earning a 38 percent positive rating at Rottentomatoes.com and a meager $16 million at the domestic box office.

"Meet Dave"

How "Meet Dave" made it past the planning stages is a major question mark. The story finds Murphy in the dual role of a humanoid robot and the leader of the robot's miniature alien crew. Among critics, "Meet Dave" was blasted even worse than "Imagine That," with USA Today critic Claudia Puig calling the story "dull, witless and hackneyed." Among moviegoers, the project was among the biggest bombs of Murphy's career, earning a disastrous $11 million at the domestic box office. Ouch!

"Beverly Hills Cop III"

The original "Beverly Hills Cop" grossed over $230 million in the United States. "Beverly Hills Cop II" was slightly less successful than the original but still grossed over $150 million domestic. Seven years after "Beverly Hills Cop II," Murphy went back to the character of Axel Foley in hope of reviving his fading star-power following the diminishing returns for "Another 48 Hours," "Boomerang," and "The Distinguished Gentleman." The result was both a box office and critical failure. "Beverly Hills Cop III" grossed barely a quarter of what the original brought in at the box office 10 years earlier. As for critics, the same people who hailed Murphy's arrival in "Beverly Hills Cop" were mostly embarrassed for the desperate and unfunny Murphy in "Beverly Hills Cop III."

"The Adventures of Pluto Nash"

"The Adventures of Pluto Nash" is a legendary blunder. This sci-fi comedy starring Murphy as a nightclub owner on the moon, who travels the galaxy to investigate who burned his club down, cost more than $100 million dollars to make and took in an apocalyptic $4 million at the domestic box office. Not surprisingly, critics lambasted "The Adventures of Pluto Nash" -- for being a bad movie and for wasting the equivalent of the annual budget of your average small, island nation.

"Norbit"

Here we have a unique point in Eddie Murphy's career. Yes, "Norbit," the story of a nerdy kid who finds himself dragged into a marriage with a horrible overweight woman, also played by Murphy, was a hit, earning nearly $100 million at the box office. However, "Norbit" arrived in theaters in February 2007 with ads featuring Murphy in a fat-suit pretending to be his own wife, just as Murphy was campaigning for his very first Oscar for his role in "Dreamgirls." It is believed, though it cannot be proved, that "Norbit" cost Murphy an Academy Award, thus earning the film a place on the list of Eddie's biggest blunders.