Classic Movie Review What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?

What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? (1962) 

Directed by Robert Aldrich 

Written by Lukas Heller 

Starring Bette Davis, Joan Crawford 

Release Date October 31st, 1962 

Published May 1st, 2024 

I did not know what I was getting myself into when I agreed to make What Ever Happened to Baby Jane the classic for our I Hate Critics Movie Review Podcast. By reputation, the film is a camp classic filled with over the top histrionics on the part of stars Bette Davis and Joan Crawford, actors who famously hated one another. I especially had an odd cultural perception of Joan Crawford based on her life after being a movie star. Crawford's career is a blind spot for me, I've never felt compelled to look into her film work. This is due to the reputation assigned to her based on Mommy Dearest, the book and movie adaptation that pain Crawford as a maniacal egotist, a bully and a monster. 

Bette Davis on the other hand, I've seen a lot of Bette Davis. I'm a big fan. Davis' can do more with a withering glance, a simple shift in her eyes, than most actors can do with an entire film's worth of screen time. To borrow the parlance of the gay community, she serves C### proudly and unashamedly. I have a huge crush on her, and I may need a therapist to understand why find Bette Davis so attractive. I don't think I have a humiliation kink, but part of me wants to have young Bette Davis to look me up and down and reject me with the kind effortless grace with which she devastated her many, many unworthy co-stars. 

My personal fetishes aside, What Ever Happened to Baby Jane(?) shifted my perceptions of both Crawford and Davis, revealing Crawford's incredible subtlety while underlining Davis's uncanny ability to get under your skin. She can terrify and destroy you with words and or deeds. She's a monster but one whose monstrousness is wielded bluntly and with intensity. Underlying the monster, however, is a desperately broken heart that has become a broken psyche and the fact that Bette Davis is capable of capturing a broadly performed, camp, monster while finding and slowly revealing her vulnerability is yet another trait that sets Davis apart from other actors. 

Find my full length review in the Geeks Community on Vocal 

Classic Movie Review When Harry Met Sally

When Harry Met Sally (1989) 

Directed by Rob Reiner 

Written by Nora Ephron 

Starring Billy Crystal, Meg Ryan, Carrie Fisher, Bruno Kirby

Release Date July 14th, 1989

Published September 20th, 2017

The classic on this week’s Everyone is a Critic podcast is When Harry Met Sally, director Rob Reiner’s 1989 romantic comedy that arguably set the template for every romantic comedy that came after it. Reiner, whose The Princess Bride turns 30 this weekend and inspired our podcast to focus on Reiner’s work, directed When Harry Met Sally from a script by Nora Ephron who would go on to take the mantel of the leading voice in romantic comedies in Hollywood throughout the 90’s and early 2000’s.

The template is thus, two people who seem ill-suited for each other get repeatedly thrust together by fate before sleeping together, montage together and then break up, montage, and finally have a romantic reunion. These movies could write themselves after a while but in fairness to Reiner, when he conceived of When Harry Met Sally, the template wasn’t quite so set in stone. In fact, in pairing the comic Billy Crystal with the actress Meg Ryan, Reiner found something that still feels very fresh in their unusual chemistry.

Harry (Crystal) and Sally (Meg Ryan) met at the University of Chicago in 1978. Sally happened to be headed to New York to take a job as a journalist and Harry headed the same way for work offered to help pay for the trip and share the driving. They immediately don’t get along as Harry launches into his off-putting diatribe about how men and women can’t be friends because sex always gets in the way. Sally, put off by Harry’s blunt talk about how all men want to sleep with her, goes quiet and the two part ways seemingly to never see each other again.

Five years later, on a plane, Harry and Sally reconnect. Sally is in a new relationship while Harry has an even bigger surprise, he’s getting married. That doesn’t stop him from flirting with Sally and even asking her to dinner when they get to their destination. She says no and once again they part. Finally, we cut to another five years later, both Sally and Harry are fresh out of relationships with Harry still stinging from a recent divorce. In a speech that remains remarkable to this day, Harry lays out the scene of the breakup to his pal played by Bruno Kirby. The brutal honesty and dark humor of the story is magnificent, and Crystal demonstrates the kind of acting chops that few other movies have ever allowed him to show. Crystal is a consummate performer and given a brilliant monologue to deliver he becomes a magnetic presence.

Find my full length review in the Geeks Community at Vocal. 

Movie Review Lego Ninjago

Lego Ninjago (2017) 

Directed by Charlie Bean, Paul Fisher, Bob Logan 

Written by Bob Logan, Paul Fisher, William Wheeler, Tom Wheeler, Jared Stern, John Whittington

Starring Dave Franco, Michael Pena, Kumail Nanjiani, Abbi Jacobson, Zach Woods, Fred Armisen, Jackie Chan

Release Date September 22nd, 2017

Published September 22nd, 2017

Lego Ninjago has not one single laugh. It has amusing moments but not a single instance of induced laughter. And I am not just speaking for myself here. The audience I watched Lego Ninjago with was really ready to laugh and you could hear some forced attempts at trying to laugh but as the movie went on even those that kept smiling and trying to find what was happening in Lego Ninjago funny weren’t laughing. It was strange; there was no outward disdain for Lego Ninjago but there weren’t any laughs.

Lloyd (Dave Franco) is a teenager who is constantly picked on because his father happens to be an evil ninja who keeps trying to take over his home town of Ninjago. What the people making fun of Lloyd don’t know is that he’s the legendary Green Ninja who, along with his fellow ninjas, have kept Garmadon (Justin Leroux) from actually destroying Ninjago. Naturally, regularly fighting his dad while flying around on a mechanized ninja dragon has led to more than a few daddy issues for Lloyd.

Thankfully, Lloyd has his uncle, Master Wu (Jackie Chan), who has taught him and his friends everything about being Ninjas and making giant mechanized animals that they use to battle Garmadon’s evil Crab army. Well, he has people dressed as crabs and dressed as sharks and dolphins and they make up his evil army; though at one point he does shoot sharks at people from a giant mechanical arm but that part isn’t very clear. I could follow the action well enough but some of the chaos got a little confusing.

All of that description sounds funny, right? Especially when you consider the recent history of the Lego franchise, The Lego Movie and Lego Batman. Those movies were laugh a minute spectacle that created an anticipation for future Lego movies. Like Lego Ninjago, those casts were overflowing with some of the funniest voices on the planet and Ninjago has a fair share of very funny people like Fred Armisen, Abbi Jacobson, Kumail Nanjiani, all of whom are remarkably funny.

Find my full length review in the Geeks Community on Vocal. 

Movie Review Kingsman The Golden Circle

Kingsman The Golden Circle (2017)

Directed by Matthew Vaughn 

Written by Jane Goldman, Matthew Vaughn 

Starring Taron Egerton, Julianne Moore, Colin Firth, Mark Strong, Halle Berry, Channing Tatum, Jeff Bridges

Release Date September 22nd, 2017 

Published September 21st, 2017 

Kingsman: The Secret Service was a not particularly inventive rehash of Mark Millar’s previously adapted work, Kick-Ass. The derivative spy take on the same tropes of the super-hero send-up bored me endlessly with its nihilistic approach to James Bond minus the strange wit of Kick-Ass, which shared not just creator Millar but also director Matthew Vaughn, who couldn’t help but seem to rip off his own work in a lazy rehash.

Kingsman: The Golden Circle, thankfully, is not Kick-Ass 2. That sequel was a massive letdown that quickly destroyed the goodwill carried over from the inventive original film. Here, with The Golden Circle we have the opposite effect. Considering that they had nowhere to go but up following The Secret Service, Kingsman: The Golden Circle has the wit, charm, and fun that the original was lacking, minus the nihilistic violence that was so out of place in the first film. Don’t get me wrong, there are still gruesome elements but nothing that approaches the overrated church shootout of Kingsman 1.

Eggsy (Taron Edgerton) is still living with the loss of his mentor, Harry (Colin Firth), as we join the story of Kingsman: The Golden Circle. His time to mourn, however, is quickly cut short as the film dives into a spectacular car chase to open The Golden Circle. Though it is showy and rather pointless to the plot, the chase is undeniably spectacular with Edgerton battling it out inside of a cab with a former Kingsman recruit who is now working for the bad guys and is part robot.

The bad guy in Kingsman: The Golden Circle is actually a bad lady played by Julianne Moore. Poppy, Moore’s character, is a drug dealer who hopes to use her illicit products to hold the world hostage. Meanwhile, she’s also found a way to take the Kingsmen out of the game by blowing up all of their headquarters around the globe and killing several of Eggsy’s close friends, while he happens to be out of the country.

Find my full length review in the Geeks Community on Vocal. 

Movie Review The Fall Guy

The Fall Guy (2024) 

Directed by David Leitch 

Written by Drew Pearce 

Starring Ryan Gosling, Emily Blunt, Winston Duke, Aaron Taylor Johnson, Hannah Waddingham 

Release Date May 3rd, 2024 

Published May 3rd, 2024 

The Fall Guy is so much fun. Ryan Gosling stars as stunt man Colt Seavers, the double for famed movie star Tom Ryder (Aaron Taylor Johnson). Colt has everything going for him, a great job that he loves doing, a great reputation, and he's just fallen in love with a camera operator on the new movie he's working on. Jody (Emily Blunt) and Colt are making plans and fliting and generally getting along smashingly when a stunt goes wrong. Performing a fall from a few stories up, Colt's rigging fails, and he smashes to the ground. 

Having suffered a devastating back injury, costing him his job and reputation as a stunt man, Colt retreats into a self-imposed isolation. This includes leaving Jody behind as he doesn't want her to see him as less than the man he was. 18 months go by, and Colt is just getting by parking cars when he receives an emergency call. Gail (Hannah Waddingham), Tom Ryder's protector and producer needs Colt to fly to Australia immediately to help out on Tom's new movie, Metal Storm. Tom has gone missing, and Gail needs Colt to stand in for him on the movie and also help find the missing star. 

Tom has apparently fallen in with some dangerous types down under and while Colt feels no obligation to help Tom, he decides to help because if he doesn't the movie will fall apart. Why does this matter? Because the director is Jody. It's her first time directing a major motion picture and if Tom disappears, she could get fired and lose everything. Wanting to reconnect with the woman he loves, Colt sets about trying to find Tom while performing his stunts on the movie, all while Jody finds new ways to punish him for ghosting her after his accident. 

Find my full length review in the Geeks Community on Vocal. 

Classic Movie Review Threesome

Threesome (1994) 

Directed by Andrew Fleming 

Written by Andrew Fleming 

Starring Josh Charles, Lara Flynn Boyle, Stephen Baldwin 

Release Date April 8th, 1994 

Published April 30th, 2024 

I'm pretty sure that Threesome is a horror film. I can't prove that definitively, there is nothing that documents that Threesome is a horror film. But! And this is important, it is a movie where Stephen Baldwin is one of three people involved sex act involving two other partner. If that doesn't send a horrified chill down your spine as much as Freddy Krueger's nails on metal does, then you likely don't know who Stephen Baldwin is. Take my word for it, you should shudder at the thought. I am relatively certain that 90s Stephen Baldwin is my sleep paralysis demon. He just sits on my chest and farts and laughs so hard he nearly falls off. 

Threesome stars Josh Charles as Eddy, a closeted and deeply confused young man. While his male friends are pursuing women, Eddy has no interest. Even moving into a dorm with a party animal and sex pest named Stuart (Stephen Baldwin) can't get Eddy interested in pursuing recreational sex. Eddy's development will be rushed along when Eddy and Stuart pick up a third roommate for the private ensuite in their dorm room. Alex (Lara Flynn Boyle) is a crazed narcissist who was accidentally assigned to a male dorm room because everyone assumed the name Alex indicates dude. 

Alex is standoffish at first but eventually begins throwing herself at Eddy who maintains confusion regarding Alex's motives well past what is believable. No joke, she's moments away from fully putting her hand on his penis and instead of saying he's not into her, he forces her to let him leave and then wonders to Stuart if Alex wants to be with him. Yeah, that's back to back scenes in this idiot sandwich of a movie. Meanwhile, Stuart desperately wants to bang Alex and she shows no interest in him. Eventually, it will come out that Eddy prefers men but that doesn't stop Alex who vows to change his mind by any sexual means necessary. 

Find my full length review in the Geeks Community on Vocal. 

Movie Review Turtles All the Way Down

Turtles All the Way Down (2024) 

Directed by Hannah Marks 

Written by Elizabeth Berger, Isaac Aptaker 

Starring Isabela Merced, Cree Cicchino, Felix Mallard, Judy Reyes 

Release Date May 2nd, 2024

Published 

Turtles All the Way Down is a film adaptation of Hank Green novel. The film stars Isabela Merced as a teenager struggling with OCD and other related mental issues, some of which are related to the death of her father. Merced's Aza gets roped into a true crime story by her best friend, Daisy (Cree Cicchino from Nickelodeon's Game Shakers), after a friend's father goes missing. The friend is a smoking hottie named Davis Pickett (Felix Mallard). Davis and Aza met at a camp for kids who have lost parents. Now, Davis has seemingly lost another parent under very suspicious circumstances and Daisy thinks they can find him and collect a reward. 

It's a more than a little convoluted but, I must say, I completely adore Cree Cicchino as Daisy. She feels exactly like the kind of friend who enjoy getting into trouble with. Granted, trying to solve a missing person case is not your average kind of trouble to find, but nevertheless that's the plot and damned if Cicchino's infectious excitement doesn't make you want to follow her down this rabbit hole. Naturally, this is a Hank Green adaptation so it will be a journey of self-exploration, there is grief, mental illness and teen romance. Aza and Davis are on a collision course and how he takes to finding out that she's trying to get a reward for finding her dad is the pivot point for what drama there is in Turtles All the Way Down. 

At least, that's what you might think. Director Hannah Marks and co-screenwriters Elzabeth Berger and Isaac Aptaker upend expectations in a very unpredictable way. I won't spoil it, but how you take to this unusual way of shifting expectations is a strong indicator of whether you enjoy Turtles All the Way Down. How did I feel about it? I didn't mind seeing what I expected completely subverted. That said, it's quite the ask for audiences to believe something like this is possible. It's an outlandish reach for the movie to pull this off and I can't say I am certain it works. 

Find my full length review in the Geeks Community on Vocal.