Movie Review Marmaduke

Marmaduke (2010) 

Directed by Tim Dey

Written by Tim Rasmussen, Vince Di Meglio 

Starring Owen Wilson, Lee Pace, Judy Greer, William H. Macy, Steve Coogan, Fergie, Emma Stone, Marlon Wayans 

Release Date June 4th, 2010 

I have a distinct memory of enjoying Marmaduke as a little kid. Not the newspaper comic, for me, he was a side character amid the Heathcliff Saturday morning cartoon. Marmaduke was a large dog who always found trouble based on the fact that he was so large. Adapting Marmaduke for the big screen was... a choice. It is a well-known character with a minor fanbase, though most have grown out of Marmaduke or barely remember the comic. The film adaptation has to reinvent Marmaduke and wow, more.... choices. 

Owen Wilson stars as the voice of Marmaduke who finds himself moving in with the family of a marketing executive named Phil Winslow (Lee Pace) and his wife Debbie (Judy Greer). Phil needs Marmaduke to be his spokes-dog for a dog food brand but Marmaduke is too ill-behaved. He just wants to run around and find trouble with his new friend Carlos (George Lopez), and his kind of love interest, Mazie. But, when things really get out of hand, Phil sends Marmaduke to a dog trainer. There, he falls in with a popular crowd that threatens his new friends in the neighborhood. 

Despite his new friends, Marmaduke cannot resist wanting to be part of the popular pedigree crowd where the gorgeous Jezebel (Stacy 'Fergie' Ferguson) runs with the dog park's resident bad boy Bosco (Kiefer Sutherland). Naturally conflict ensues between Marmaduke and Bosco and the bonds of friendship, especially with Maizie, will be tested. Meanwhile Phil is ignoring his family, spending all his time working with his oddball new boss (William H. Macy, slumming for a paycheck) and only Marmaduke realizes how bad things are getting. 

These two stories coalesce boringly into one story by the end and don't be shocked when things end exactly as you predict. Marmaduke, directed by Tom Dey (Failure to Launch), was never meant to change the way we see kids movies. It was not meant to break boundaries or change the way kids see their world, it's a mindless bit of escapism with simpleminded morality at its center. The catchphrase for the film may as well be 'can't we all just get along,' it's literally that simple.

There is nothing wrong with that but the best kid’s films, the Pixar films, have the ability to deliver the same message without being treacle and simpleminded in the ways Marmaduke is. Director Dey and screenwriters Vince De Meglio and Tim Rasmussen cut paste their plot from other, similar films like Garfield or the Chipmunks, add special effects and voila. The special effects used to animate the giant mutt are strong enough that you don't take to much notice of them. The hallmark of success when you don't have the budget or the skill to dazzle ala James Cameron is to make sure the effects aren't noticeable; Marmaduke easily achieves this modest task.



I watched Marmaduke with a class of 2nd graders on a field trip. They laughed at the fart jokes and when Phil fell out of the bed and they squealed at the closing doggie dance sequence but for the most part they were silent and respectful. Some twitched in their seats a little but for the most part they were quiet, attentive and a little bored. Afterward, the kids talked about how much they loved dogs but by the time they were back on the bus the movie and its dull messages were long forgotten replaced by the want for ice cream and plans for the rest of the day, and a little bit of dozing here and there.

Maybe this benign effect is all that can be expected of a movie like Marmaduke. For me, I wish more children's films had the ambition to engage the minds of children, to challenge them to find central ideas and morals and explore them with their imagination. The creators of Marmaduke have neither the ambition nor, seemingly, the talent to attempt such a thing. On that count, Marmaduke is a waste of screen time. Parents, take heart Toy Story 3 arrives soon.

Movie Review This Means War

This Means War (2012) 

Directed by McG 

Written by Timothy Dowling, Simon Kinberg 

Starring Reese Witherspoon, Tom Hardy, Chris Pratt 

Release Date February 17th, 2012 

Recent to DVD the comedy “This Means War” is a criminally banal comedy starring three exceptional young stars in the hands of a competent but unimaginative director. The story of two spies using their skill and advanced technology as they compete for the heart of the same woman wastes three terrific stars and a solid premise on a series of mild and predictable gags.

Lauren (Reese Witherspoon) has had no luck with men. She moved to Los Angeles to with a man who dumped her soon after she arrived. Since then she has become focused on her job as a product tester and put seeking love on the back burner. Unfortunately for Lauren, her pal Trish won’t let her forget about love; eventually signing her up for online dating.

Through the love seeking website Trish meets Tuck (Tom Hardy), a kind and handsome travel agent. On the same day as her first date with Tuck she also meets FDR (Chris Pine) a jerky ladies man who tries to put the moves on her in a video store. What Lauren doesn’t know is that Tuck and FDR are friends and partners and spies. Soon, the smitten spies begin to compete for Lauren’s heart using the resources at their disposal to gain an intelligence advantage.

The idea of two spies using their spy craft to woo the same woman is wonderfully novel. Unfortunately, director McG doesn’t do anything unpredictable with this idea. Every beat, every joke, every turn of plot in “This Means War” is easy to predict. The plot gives you a great deal to work from and challenges the filmmaker to do something that audiences don’t expect and McG simply never does it.

With these three stars it is inexcusable that “This Means War” is so achingly mediocre. Tom Hardy and Chris Pine are evolving into major movie stars with Hardy starring in “Warrior” and “Inception” and Pine having given new life to Captain Kirk in “Star Trek.” And then there is Reese Witherspoon, arguably the easiest to like actress working today.

Witherspoon is the bright light of the modern romantic comedy. Her unique beauty and quirky approach to generally predictable material never fails to bring something interesting to the table. Even in “This Means War” Witherspoon’s charm is hardly dampened. Unfortunately, even Witherspoon’s charm can’t escape a plot so heavy handed and rote.




It’s not that McG is a bad director; the film is good looking and the story, such as it is, keeps a solid pace. The story logic is as strong as it is novel but the premise needed a touch up. We know from the marketing that these two guys are spies and she doesn’t know it so the film needs to find unique ways for the spies to use their craft. All we get from “This Means War” is people watching other people on hidden cameras.  

Surely there is more that could be done with spies than background checks via the internet and hidden webcams. Sadly, “This Means War” lacks the imagination to come up with anything more. It’s fair to assume that the filmmakers were relying on the stars to sell what they couldn’t but even stars as attractive as these can’t make nothing into something.

In the end what’s really hard to watch about “This Means War” is how truly mediocre it is. The film is well crafted and the stars are attractive but that’s not enough to get the movie past merely watchable. It would be easier for me to dismiss “This Means War” if it were truly bad but the film lingers in memory because it is so remarkably banal; a fact that is almost more offensive than if the film simply stunk. 

Movie Review Lock Out

Lock Out (2012) 

Directed by Steven Saint Leger, James Mather

Written by Luc Besson, Steven Saint Leger, James Mather

Starring Guy Pearce, Maggie Grace, Peter Stormare 

Release Date April 13th, 2012 

I’ve been somewhat obsessed with the TV ad for “Lockout” that praised the Guy Pearce starring action film as “Diehard Meets Blade Runner.” There are so many things wrong with this particular piece of praise that it’s difficult to narrow them all down. Most glaringly wrong is the disservice this overwhelming bit of critical puffery does to “Lockout.”

Comparing the fun, modestly entertaining, far from terrible “Lockout” to the awesomeness of either “Blade Runner” or “Diehard” puts far too much weight on the shoulders of what is a good but far from great sci-fi action movie. Comparing “Lockout” to both of those films combined is just outright cruelty; there is simply no way that any movie, especially “Lockout,” can live up to that standard.

Former CIA Operative Snow (Guy Pearce) was apparently in the wrong place at the wrong time when a powerful friend was murdered. Suspected of the killing himself, Snow is staring down a trip to the new multi-billion dollar space prison where madness from the station’s cryo-stasis whatnot machines awaits most, if not all who are sentenced there.

It would take, oh I don’t know, the President’s daughter Emily (Maggie Grace, “Lost”) getting kidnapped aboard that space prison for Snow to get out of this predicament. And whaddaya know, the President’s daughter is kidnapped aboard the space prison and only Snow can brave the newly unfrozen, madness addled prison population to rescue her before her dad is forced to blow the space prison out of space.

As my description demonstrates “Lockout” has a classically goofball sci-fi set up filled with enough stock villains and henchmen to fill 20 seasons of the old “Batman” TV series. The one thing that keeps “Lockout” from devolving into camp is star Guy Pearce who plays a slight variation on the wisecracking anti-hero we’ve come to know and be bored by in countless action films past.

It helps that Pearce is such an unexpected action star. In his best work, “L.A Confidential,” “Memento,” and “The Proposition,” Pearce used his thin frame and actorly flourish to sell audiences that he could survive just about any punishment. In “Lockout” however, Pearce is muscled up, heavily armed and wearing the standard issue stubble required of all modern anti-heroes.

The transformation is surprising and yet Pearce maintains some of the steeliness that made his earlier roles so memorable. His wisecracks have a little extra juice in them as if they weren’t just par for the action movie script course. Pearce twists his lines and tweaks the punches in a way that is similar to how Johnny Depp takes everyday dialogue and makes it sound like something no one has ever said before.

Pearce alone is worth the price of a ticket for “Lockout;” without him the film would likely be a droning bore of clichés. Maggie Grace is an attractive girl but saddled with the role of damsel in distress who occasionally gets to look tough, she’s as stuck as any other actress would be. The role is so standard at this point that even Meryl Streep with a complex accent couldn’t distinguish it.

In the end, the critic who claimed that “Lockout” was “Diehard meets Blade Runner” has done more to aggrandize his or her self than to praise the movie they seem to greatly admire. No film could live up to that standard and claiming the movie does rise to that standard is a disservice to the film’s true merits. A very fun, charismatic performance by Guy Pearce is thus lost as fans focus on the lack of “Blade Runner” and or “Diehard” qualities.




Movie Review Peter Rabbit

Peter Rabbit (2018) 

Directed by Will Gluck

Written by Ron Lieber, Will Gluck

Starring Rose Byrne, Domhnall Gleeson, James Corden, Daisy Ridley, Margot Robbie, Elizabeth Debicki

Release Date February 9th, 2018 

Peter Rabbit is the latest in a long line of kids movies based on dignified and beloved works of children’s fiction that replaces the dignity with shrill, unfunny modernity. Peter Rabbit takes Beatrix Potter’s lovely rabbit stories and wipes it’s furry feet on them with a terrible pop soundtrack and sub-Home Alone style gags so jarringly violent you begin to wonder if they belong in a kid's flick.

Peter Rabbit (James Corden) is a mischievous, blue jacket-wearing rabbit who enjoys wreaking havoc in the garden of Mr. McGregor (Sam Neill). That is, until one day when Mr. McGregor up and dies while attempting to kill Peter. No, that’s not something I am making up for effect; the guy dies in the first ten minutes. The death is played with comic effect, but it is a nonetheless dark way to start the movie.

Peter and his family, including Cotton Tail (Daisy Ridley), Flopsy (Margot Robbie), Mopsy (Elizabeth Debicki) and Benjamin (Colin Moody) then take over Mr. McGregor’s home and garden on the assumption they have won the place. They throw a party for their comically anthropomorphized animal buddies and begin to wonder where this adventure will take them next.

Meanwhile, in London, Thomas McGregor (Domnhall Gleeson) has just found out that he did not get his prized promotion at Harrods Department Store and went a little mad. Fired, he finds that his long forgotten Uncle has left him a country cottage. With nothing else to do, he heads for the country and sparks up a rivalry with Peter and his family while he attempts to rebuild the cottage and sell it.

Find  my full length review in the Geeks Community on Vocal.Find  my full length review in the Geeks Community on Vocal. 



Movie Review Becks

Becks (2018) 

Directed by Daniel Powell 

Written by Elizabeth Rohrbaugh 

Starring Lena Hall, Mena Suvari, Christine Lahti, Dan Fogler 

Release Date January 2018 

Becks is a wildly charming romantic drama about a woman who goes back to her hometown following a bad break up. Lena Hall stars in the film as Becks and while her story is familiar, her character is wholly original. Hall is funny, smart, sexy and original and if you can get around the familiarity of the storytelling tropes, you will really love this character and her journey.

When we meet Becks she is about to leave New York City for Los Angeles with her longtime girlfriend. The girlfriend has been invited to be part of a reality show for up-and-coming singers and is leaving for L.A early to set up their new home. However, when Becks finally arrives at her supposed new home, she finds her girlfriend has been cheating on her.

With no place to go and little money, Becks has no choice but to return to her hometown of St. Louis where her mother, Ann, played by Christine Lahti, is waiting to take her in. Ann, a former nun, has been trying to be open and accepting of her daughter’s lifestyle, but we can sense the tension between the two almost immediately. Thankfully, her old friend Dave (Dan Fogler) is there to be supportive and give her his bar to perform in.

It is while performing in Dave’s bar that Becks meets Elyse (Mena Suvari). Elyse happens to be the wife of her former High School bully, Mitch (Darren Richie), or Mitch the Bitch, as she used to call him. Mitch once attempted to out Becks at a High School dance, even before Becks herself knew she was gay. This slight has lingered for over a decade even as Mitch has now become a respected and friendly presence around town.

Find my full length review in the Geeks Community on VocalFind my full length review in the Geeks Community on Vocal



Movie Review Fifty Shades Freed

Fifty Shades Freed (2018)

Directed by James Foley

Written by Niall Leonard 

Starring Dakota Johnson, Jamie Dornan, Rita Ora, Luke Grimes, Victor Rasuk, Jennifer Ehle, Marcia Gay Harden

Release Date February 9th, 2018 

Female sexuality remains a barrier for many men. Think about it, we still have laws in many places in this country that REQUIRES half the population to wear a shirt when they go outside, because apparently boobs have some mysterious and dangerous power to them. This is reflected in modern movie culture which, despite having gone through periods marked by movies like Last Tango in Paris and 9 and ½ Weeks, has somehow become more uptight.

This, I believe, explains part of the fascination and cultish devotion surrounding E.L James’ 'Fifty Shades' franchise. Despite what are some obvious flaws in the storytelling, the freedom of Anastasia Grey’s sexuality, in the movies at least, if not the books which I have refused to read, marks a departure from most of modern popular culture. Dakota Johnson’s assured and enjoyed nudity may happen in the form of an insipid pop melodrama but taken on its own context, it’s among the most mature displays of sexuality in modern popular culture.

This brings us to the latest film in the 'Fifty Shades' franchise, Fifty Shades Freed. I will not argue that Fifty Shades Freed is a good movie; it’s most certainly not, from the perspective of just being a movie. However, as a ripe and rare display of female sexuality, again, apart from the book which I have heard is less kind to the Anastasia character than the movies, all credit to Dakota Johnson.

Fifty Shades Freed picks up the story of Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan) at their wedding, a surprisingly austere affair. We are thrust immediately into the nuptials which aren’t nearly as lavish as you’d imagine; especially when compared to the rest of the movie which is little more than architecture porn. Ana and Christian seem to have reached a place of mutuality though his jealousy is easily peaked, as when Ana decides to go topless in San Tropez.

Find my full length review in the Geeks Community on VocalFind my full length review in the Geeks Community on Vocal



Movie Review Phantom Thread

Phantom Thread (2017) 

Directed by Paul Thomas Anderson 

Written by Paul Thomas Anderson

Starring Daniel Day Lewis, Lesley Manville, Vicky Krieps 

Release Date December 25th, 2017 

Phantom Thread is incredible. I’m not surprised by this; P.T Anderson has proven to be one of the most remarkable and consistently inventive directors of his era. Nothing surprises me about P.T Anderson crafting an incredible film. What did catch me off guard was the strange and fascinating way in which Phantom Thread is incredible. There is no predicting where this study of obsession and genius is headed.

Reynolds Woodcock, a name that could only belong to a character played by Daniel Day Lewis, is a famed London designer. Woodcock has dressed queens, princesses, movie stars, and many of the world’s moneyed elite. His attention to detail and peculiar sense of style is unmatched by designers of his day. This peculiar and obsessive manner, however, comes at the price of his relationships.

Woodcock can’t stand to be around anyone other than his sister, Cyril (Leslie Manville), who manages the House of Woodcock. Cyril’s duties include managing Reynolds’ business affairs and his personal affairs, such as when Reynolds tires of a female companion and cannot be bothered to be rid of them himself. Any early scene has Cyril sending a soon-to-be-former companion on her way barely batting an eye.

So averse to conflict or disruption is Reynolds that he takes off for his country home while Cyril clears out this latest affair. It’s not long, however, before Reynolds’ well trained eye has fallen on a new subject. While having breakfast at a country inn, Reynolds is smitten with Alma (Vicky Crieps). At first he is charmed by her awkward beauty but soon we find that he wishes to dress her, seeing her frame as perfect for his work.

Find my full length review in the Geeks Community on Vocal.Find my full length review in the Geeks Community on Vocal. 



Movie Review Megalopolis

 Megalopolis  Directed by Francis Ford Coppola  Written by Francis Ford Coppola  Starring Adam Driver, Nathalie Emmanuel, Giancarlo Esposito...